Circling Back - Quarantine Strategies & Bit Madness, Round II
Episode Date: March 16, 2020We discuss our plan going forward amidst COVID-19's effect on society as a whole, what we bought from the store, what we're binge-watching, and more. We also announce our new hire, Human Randy, and ca...ll both he and Brett who are self-quarantined. Finally, we knock out the round of 32 in this year's Bit Madness. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:20) Washed Media's COVID-19 Contingency Plan (31:48) Bit Madness, Round II (1:05:00) New Hire Human Randy Calls In Postmates: Download the app and use CIRCLINGBACK for $100 delivery credits Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is
will defries to my right david ruff good morning will happy to see you it's good to have some human
contact right now dave, at a safe distance.
At a very safe distance.
Actually, you know what?
I can probably go back a couple inches here.
Yep.
I don't know how far away we are from each other right now, but this could, I don't want
to get ahead of ourselves, but this could be the last time that we are recording together.
In the same room.
For the foreseeable future, not forever.
Correct.
This isn't the final episode of Circling Back.
Almost said something else.
Dylan, what up, dog?
I'll tell you what.
If I had to be hunkered down,
I would choose to be hunkered down with you fine gentlemen
right here in this very studio.
If we really needed to, we could do it.
We can get a hot plate.
We can get a new fridge delivered.
We could get some cots here, some sleeping bags.
Some blankies to lay down with.
Yep.
That couch is not terrible.
Oh, yeah.
We only need two cots.
That's what I said the other day, man.
It's sneaky like not a bad couch.
Are we going to Rochambeau for the couch?
We could just go three men on a couch.
I don't think that's practical at all.
Well, you can make it work, Dave.
Today's going to be a weird episode. I don't think there's any other all. Well, you can make it work, Dave. Today's going to be a weird episode.
I don't think there's any other way to look at it right now.
Well, Will, it's a weird time in the world right now.
It's one of the weirdest times I've ever been a part of.
WASH Media has officially gone to original essential personnel only on the pod.
Do you think we'll look back on this in like 20, 30 years as like,
oh, the coronavirus lockdown?
Yes.
Or it will be just a blip on the radar?
No, I think we'll look back at it
as being one of the weirdest times
that we'll ever have in our lifetimes.
In my 36 years,
nothing like this has ever happened.
I said to Sally...
36, he says.
I don't know.
I don't like comparing things to this,
but the only time I can think of a time
where I felt this general uneasiness was in the days following 9-11 where like you just didn't
really know what was going on you didn't know what to believe like on the news cycle like all
these things and it's just like this weirdness and yeah it's just we're kind of at that peak
stage right now where it's like all right we're at a breaking point where shit's either going to like –
it just feels like it's going to get worse and worse.
It was a weird time because I remember the day after 9-11, 9-12,
Dylan texted me and was like,
can you believe our own government knocked down the towers?
Yeah, he was like, dude.
And I was like, dude, that's not –
Actually, I said, can you believe Matty B would do something like this?
I was like, man, I don't know if that's what happened.
Yeah, no, so it's just the three of us.
Have we announced the newest addition?
No, we can do that today.
Yeah, so we brought in.
So Brett's not here right now.
Brett's not here.
We told Brett to stay home.
We ordered him to stay home.
Yeah, it wasn't because he did anything wrong.
It wasn't because he's exposed to anything or anything like that.
While we were talking yesterday, we thought, you know,
the fewer the people, the better.
Let's just have the original three.
We're in a pretty – this studio is – it's spacious but not super big.
So we've got three in here.
We're about four and a half, five feet away from each other.
We're mitigating the risk as much as we possibly can.
And it's just like, dude, stay – I like, dude, look, here's the deal.
If we all come down with it, we need Brett, the young buck, to be healthy,
continue to grind, do ad deals and whatnot.
But also we've added a fifth to Washed Media.
Absolutely no one is hiring in this climate right now.
Especially what we hired for.
No one's doing this.
Yeah, so we brought in Human Randy.
Yes, we officially hired him.
He starts tomorrow as his first official day.
Yeah, great timing.
Yeah, we thought about pulling his offer,
but we thought that would look like the optics would look bad.
Yeah, we can't do that.
He put two weeks in at work.
And that's tough.
We couldn't be like, yeah, you know, let's hold off on this.
This was all decided pre-COVID.
Yeah.
Pre-pre-COVID.
Yeah.
So Randy is going to be doing video work for us.
His main first responsibility was going to get the studio completely set up for video.
I don't know if Randy even knows this yet, but that's probably not going to be his first task.
No.
I'm going to go on record saying that his first task is probably just going to be cutting clips
and making vids for us from the comfort of his own home.
He needs to plan his ass at home and do it from there.
Yeah.
Randy's job is going to be to, when we have humorous clips, take those and put them into stuff that can be.
Of which there are many.
We're going to take those and put them on social media.
Twitter, Dylan.
Instagram.
Yeah.
He's going to help us.
Instagram as well, yeah.
Reach new audiences. Twitch. New, Will. He's going to help us reach new audiences.
New peeps.
Get more ears on the content, more eyes on the vids.
I'm very excited.
He's a piece to this puzzle we've been needing for a long time now.
You've already seen his work.
If you follow us on Twitter or Instagram.
Where can they follow us, Will?
At Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram.
He's the brains behind the majority of the video we've posted.
Yep.
Yeah, anytime people are like,
this is the best content you guys have put out on your feed,
it's like, yeah, well, that's because Randy was doing it.
I'll be honest, dude. So I guess we have to bring him in.
We might have to find another name for him.
It's going to be, for me, it's weird.
Should we just call him Human?
What's his last name? Trimbaki. Trimbaki. It's going to be, for me, it's weird. Should we just call him human? What's his last name?
Trimbaki.
Trimbaki.
It's a weird one.
Polish?
That sounds Polish as fuck or Czech.
Something like that.
Yeah.
So,
yeah,
we'll,
we'll have more on Randy soon.
Yeah,
I mean,
hopefully you guys get a chance.
We could call him.
Yeah.
That would be a lot of pressure,
a phone call. Hey, you're live. What's up, man? Do you guys want to call. We could call him. Yeah. That would be a lot of pressure. A phone call.
Hey, you're live.
What's up, man?
Do you guys want to call Brett right now?
Actually, it might be kind of funny if we called Randy.
Let's call Brett real quick and see what he's doing.
Yeah, I love surprise calling people.
I'm calling Brett right now.
We have Bluetooth technology, Dylan.
I know we do.
We're really calling Brett.
Hello? Hey, Brett. Hello?
Hey, Brett.
Is this Big Game?
Hey, what's going on, Game?
Nothing.
We're just recording a podcast in the lodge right now.
What are you doing?
I'm on my couch watching the news.
How's that going?
Anything good happen?
Yeah, is there anything big?
There's a vaccine that started human trials today,
which is interesting.
Okay.
Is this Canadian or German?
I believe it was in Washington.
Oh, it's very close.
So it is...
The ticker is MRNA,
if you want to get some of that action,
but it's at 25% today.
Wow. Is that the one that...
Is Brett just going to be trading the entire time?
I might be.
Yeah, well, I'm going
to Davy Day Traders over there at Barstool
doing his thing, so I kind of want to get
on the bandwagon.
We're just doing things that you should not do right now.
Brett's just trading stonks and we're just hiring people.
Yeah, not the move, but
it's okay. Hey, how's the podcast
going so far? It's great.
One of the better ones we've ever done. We're seven minutes
in. So how's your mindset,
Brett, of day one self-quarantine?
You know what? I'm strong at this
point. I actually
do need to go grocery shopping.
I'm running low. So I think I have to need to go grocery shopping. I'm running
low. I think I have to
brave some grocery store today,
whether it's HEB or Central
Market or something like that. I'm thinking of trying to
zayt what everybody else is zayting and maybe go
Target.
See what they have there.
I don't know, but I do
need to do the stock up.
It's probably time. What's your go-to quarantine
food mac and cheese obviously okay we have a glaring lack of mac and cheese at our apartment
right now actually i thought you guys had like enough for two more years we just have two two
boxes really did i show you guys what i air fried over the weekend? You did. Dude, chicken thighs on the air fryer have been a game changer.
I'm telling you, it's the best thing I've done on that thing.
Highly recommend.
I love me some chicken thighs and a cold beer on a Friday night.
It's a pair of denim that fits just right.
And the Bluetooth speaker loud.
I don't think that's part of the song.
I forgot Brett was here.
Brett, do you have any binge-watching stuff on the horizon right now?
Yes.
In fact, I do.
As a recommendation from a significant other of mine.
I'm jumping into Succession today.
Oh.
Welcome to what literally everyone else has been doing.
Wait, so us talking about it non-stop.
You can't make that joke, Will.
Us recommending that show nonstop and talking about how great it is wasn't enough for you to get started on it.
But a significant other tells you to, and you jump right in.
Is that what you're telling us?
That's correct.
Yeah, that's correct.
All right, man.
That works.
We'll just go fuck ourselves, I guess.
It's just priorities, you know.
Hey, any stock advice for me today while I'm jumping on the stakes here?
By the way, I might get a PS4.
I don't know.
You should.
Everyone's talking about getting their systems.
You guys got to start getting them
before the price starts going up.
I might even get a PS4.
Get a PS4, dude.
Come on.
But I don't know what to play except for GTA.
I don't think you need to play anything but GTA.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think you just play GTA and just enjoy yourself.
It's crazy now that you can just download games.
You don't have to go to the store and buy a disc.
I will say to anybody out there who's buying a PlayStation or a PlayStation or an Xbox for the first time,
it is a slight bit of delayed gratification based on the fact that you have to download massive, massive files.
How long does it take?
It could take a few hours.
Oh, no shit.
There are some games that can take up to eight hours.
Depends on your internet speed.
Yeah.
Your baud rate.
Wow, that's crazy.
And you're using 56K, right?
I don't even know what that means.
Didn't you get that 69K internet?
Yeah, I got 69K.
Dylan told me he's been...
This is not going to be a true story.
Dylan told me he's been binge-watching Quarantines.
I don't even know what that is.
And I don't either.
I was like, what is that? That's not true.
Definitely not true.
We're still doing those jobs.
I'll let you guys
go here. I have to go.
I'm going to brave the grocery store and probably
get a PS4 at the same time.
Make sure to wipe down the handle of your cart, Brett.
Oh, yeah.
I saw at H-E-B this past weekend
they were offering wipes at the door.
Yeah, that central market thing got them right there.
Then the amount of people that were walking
in not doing it really grossed me out
yesterday, so be safe.
Your boy did it.
Also, filling up
gas tanks. I'm doing, filling up gas tanks.
I'm doing the old
paper towel move.
The gas pump seems inherently dirty.
I don't know how to handle this
and my car has very low fuel right now.
I've got half a tank. I'm Gucci.
I don't know what to do.
Oh man, you've got to keep the hand sanitizer strapped
in your console at all times.
I don't have any in there right now.
It's kind of stressing me out.
It's my move even when it's not
in the middle of a pandemic.
I need to get
good about this.
Good luck, Brett. Yeah, Brett. It was good hearing you, man.
We miss you. Look forward to seeing how many deals
you close this week. Thanks, man.
Yeah, thanks, guys. Miss you, too.
I'll talk to you.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
There's Brett, man.
There's big game.
I'm very excited he gets to start Succession.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm pretty jealous.
I might do a rewatch.
He's going to like it.
Sally wants to do a rewatch of it anyway,
so this might just be the time.
I'm open to any and all binge-worthy recommendations.
Yeah, we need to have some stuff out there.
I'm leaning toward just going the movie route
and just knocking out a bunch of movies
as opposed to getting sucked into numerous
different series. So I'm trying to go through any movie
that had an Oscar buzz right now. I think I'm going to go through every Oscar film from
1995 until today that was up for Best Picture and see
which ones I haven't seen that I should have seen.
Anything that won Best picture automatically qualifies.
Anything that just has actors in it that I might really like that I somehow just missed.
I think I'm going to go that route and start doing that.
I watched Uncut Gems yesterday.
How'd that go?
KG.
Actually, hold on.
Let's talk about Postmates real quick and then we'll hop into what we're doing on the quarantine side of things.
KG uses Postmates, I bet.
If there's ever a time to use Postmates,
I'm going to say that it's probably right now.
As you know, you can get pretty much anything.
Breakfast, burritos, groceries.
You can get anything on there.
And so now's the time if you want to sign up for Postmates.
Have you guys done any delivery stuff to prepare for this quarantine?
Not yet, but I know it's in the cards for me.
It's my ace in the hole right now.
I'm saving it for when I need it the most.
And so I'm holding off until I really need it.
But right now, you can get on Postmates.
For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100
of free delivery credit for your first seven days.
To start your free deliveries, download the app and use code CIRCLING.
That's code CIRCLING for $100 of free credit, free delivery credit with no minimum purchase,
for your first seven days when you download the Postmates app.
Anything you need, anytime you need it, just Postmate it.
Should we talk about our quarantine statuses right now?
Sure.
What's going on in uh in the crib
yeah all right dave you watched uncut gems i did um we watched it yesterday morning like 9 a.m
that's it's what a great way to start and let me tell you start to finish that is a ride isn't it
and i i enjoyed it i don't think i'll ever watch it again. But I'm happy I saw it.
Oh, absolutely.
He is such a fuck.
He's such a fuck.
Did not know how much of a fuck.
I saw one spoiler on our Reddit, on our subreddit,
that was kind of, it didn't say exactly what happened,
but it alluded that he was a complete fuck.
And I could not believe how terrible he actually was.
You know, like at the end of Breaking Bad,
like towards the end, how Walt just kept he Walt
had all these chances to to
get out cash out and
he just kept pushing the envelope and he kept trying
to go bigger. It reeked
of that where it's like dude this guy
is just he's going all the
fuck he's flying into the sun like
directly with like very very little room for
nothing was going right for him the whole time he was trying to recover from mistakes that he was making
you know dude dude there's actually scramble there's all these fringe characters who like
he owed owed money to or oh you know uh had this guy's chain and he had to put that up for a loan
and it's like you never even got a resolution with those guys. Cause I was like,
what's going to happen?
Like all these things are going to come back on them.
And I'm assuming you fast forwarded.
If you,
uh,
if you haven't already,
there's going to be spoilers in this.
Like at the end,
I knew that wasn't going to end well for him.
And you can't,
you can't lock those three dudes into a elevator shaft or a little security
room.
They were all sweaty.
I don't know what mafia those guys were affiliated with,
but they were bad dudes.
They scared the shit out of me.
They were bad dudes.
Bad hombres.
What mob was that?
Not sure.
Were they like Hebrew mob affiliates?
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
It's hard to say.
It's not that important, but I liked KG kg's role good he was not expecting kg the one
edit that i have i thought kg's performance was pretty good the one edit that i had was that they
did an absolutely terrible job of simulating a post game seven interview courtside i was like
this is this is the least genuine looking courtside interview after a Game 7 that I've ever seen.
But KG overall, I was like, you know what?
Not bad.
You did well.
Not bad at all.
But I like KG anyway.
We haven't started binging anything yet.
We've got a list of movies that we're keeping.
A lot of classics on there.
We were very happy to find out that Love love island australia season two was released
just this past weekend so sally and i have started that and we are all in that's going to take us
about 30 hours to get through so we're very pleased so that's that is that worth getting
into it's it's it's mindless um it's it kind of feels like your brain's on vacation because
they're just it's just a bunch of hot people sitting in a really good-looking villa.
Okay.
And it's just shameless entertainment.
And so I don't feel bad watching it because at this point, I need something that takes my mind off of the real shit.
Watching movies like Uncut Gems over and over and over might just end up amplifying my already kind of like general anxiety regarding all this.
I just thank you.
Yeah.
I've been doing sex education per your recommendation.
Pretty enjoyable.
Yeah, pretty enjoyable.
It's good.
I'll just say that it's good.
Yeah.
It's not the best show I've ever seen, but it's a good way to pass some time.
It's entertaining.
I'm on season two now.
Other than that, I haven't really gotten into much.
I'm trying to figure out a classic series to binge.
I've pretended.
Well, we talked about this.
Yeah, I've pretended in the past that I've watched The Wire just so you didn't scorch me on the pod.
Dude, you know I almost said that yesterday.
I've always had a suspicion that you hadn't watched it.
No.
So you haven't?
So when I was in Michigan, this was before they had HBO now and streaming services.
Yeah.
I went to the store and I rented DVD one of the wire and it had,
I think four episodes on it,
three or four episodes went back for DVD too.
And a blockbuster video was like,
ah,
man,
someone stole DVD too.
And I was like,
all right,
cool.
I was like,
can you like,
let me know when you get the next one in.
He was like,
nah, man, we're not going to order that again. And I was like, all right, cool. I was like, can you like, let me know when you get the next one in? He was like, nah, man, we're not going to order that again. And I was like, okay, so I guess
I'm just not going to watch the wire anymore. And so I ended up picking it up later, but I still
haven't watched the entire, I haven't watched the entire first season, even though I've gotten very
close. And so I think that this is the time where it's like, it's natural for me to just do it.
I don't see a scenario where if either of y'all were to start it
from the beginning and watch the entire series
that y'all would have a negative.
You'd have some criticisms,
but you wouldn't have anything negative to say about the show.
You would enjoy.
It's considered to be a top five show all the time.
Some people say the best.
I mean, it's awesome.
A lot of people criticize season two.
Okay.
I thought season two was great. I'm not worried about it. Season one is a little slow, so I criticize season two. Okay. I thought season two was great.
I'm not worried about it.
Season one is a little slow, so I need season two.
Oh, it picks up.
Just give it a shot.
Give it a shot to earn your business.
Dylan, you would really like it.
Do you know what I think I'm going to do?
I think I'm going to get a PS4.
Do it.
Get the fuck out.
Why would you not?
If there's ever a time to get a gaming console, it's literally right now.
I know.
I don't want to become a gamer.
I don't want to, like, spend a lot of hours in front of the TV on the sticks.
I don't want to do that.
But I'm going to have to pass time, you know, during this lockdown.
So if I'm ever going to do it, now is the time.
And they have kid games on there, right?
Am I wrong?
They have, like, games that kids can play?
Absolutely.
Absolutely. I don't want to, you know him killing hookers in the streets and stuff yet.
That's what I'm going to be doing.
I'm going to probably play Grand Theft Auto.
Just tuck the homie in and just go kill some hookers?
Yeah, but he might have some fun on the sticks too.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
And I can use – I'm about to move. I'm going to set up a new – I think I'm going to get on YouTube TV.
You're cutting the cord?
Oh, wow.
The cord has been
cut i might cut the cord man damn dude i know i downloaded twitch onto my xbox yesterday for the
first time okay so one step closer to the stream dylan i will be uh i will be taking the same
measures as david so if anybody wants to run up on fifa 20 uh The at is will to freeze. I also ordered the camera.
I'm working on the hardwiring now.
My internet is upstairs.
My Xbox is downstairs.
We got a little bit of a problem.
Anybody knows any workarounds there
that don't involve
just dropping a 50-foot Ethernet cord
across from the balcony
above my living room? Let me know. There's about to be an Ethernet cord across from the balcony above my living room.
Let me know.
There's about to be an Ethernet cord
that goes from my television through the hallway
into our bathroom through our closet
and then into this little cubby in our closet
that has all the wiring.
This is just for Twitch, right?
Just for streaming?
All for Twitch, yeah.
I just need an Internet connection for my shit.
I hardwired my PlayStation
solely because I just wanted to
make sure that i had i didn't want to be the dude that had that was responsible for the shitty
streaming quality on that side so i hardwired that but i had an extra core it was very easy
for me this is not gonna be the same same deal i don't need a ps4 pro do i just just a regular
standard i have the shittiest one you can buy and i've never had any issue but i also only play one
game on it so it doesn't so it doesn't really do much.
I also have a pretty base model Xbox.
Okay.
You know what?
I'm doing it.
Do it.
Try and stop me.
You might.
Make sure if it doesn't come with two controllers,
get an extra one for the homie.
Okay.
Yeah.
Bet.
You don't want to play them.
I guarantee they're quick and easy downloadable games.
For sure.
Absolutely.
Hey, what did you guys buy from the store?
What are you feasting on for the next however long?
Chicken thighs.
Chicken thighs for games.
Just hella chicken thighs?
Just stacks.
When we went yesterday, there were no chicken anything except for small cutlets.
Luckily, we have some frozen in our freezer, so we're okay.
I kind of had the long haul more in mind,
so I got a bunch of non-perishable stuff.
I mean, I got some stuff to cook, of course,
but I loaded up on shit that's not going to go bad,
boxed stuff and peanut butter stuff, you know, just snacky stuff.
They told us yesterday when we were at Central Market,
we got a bunch of stuff for taco soup.
We're going to make a of stuff for taco soup.
We're going to make a big batch of taco soup.
I got some soups, too, by the way.
So we got that, and we had a bunch of canned stuff because it takes a bunch of beans and corn and stuff like that.
And when we went up, the guy was like,
you guys might have too many cans.
Oh, yeah, they're putting a limit on certain things.
Frozen pizzas, bread.
How many frozen pizzas are you allowed to get?
We bought 29.
No, the guy in front of Alyssa
or somebody in line
was like,
sorry, that's too many pizzas, sir.
We just got two frozen pizzas.
I already had some frozen stuff.
I think frozen dinners in general
are limited.
We had eight cans
and the guy said
that we were treading the line.
I was like, really?
Like, this is all for, like, two batches of soup.
It's the gift of soup, sir.
Yeah, we're like, we're not really doing that much.
Luckily, he was like, he's like, I got you guys.
He's like, I know you're not doing anything malicious right now.
You know, you could have done.
You could have taken, like, three of them and gotten in line behind Sally.
He literally said, he's like, you guys seem innocent enough.
He's like, if you guys need to do another transaction, I'm not going to worry about it.
Yeah, we're not hoarding. I'm not going to worry about it.
Yeah, we're not hoarding.
You're not going to go sell Rotel or something. Yeah, I'm not going to go sell one can of pinto beans
on the corner. Dude, chill out.
How about that dickhead who
was hoarding all of the hand sanitizer
and tried to sell them? I'm so glad he got
fucked over. What an absolute piece of shit.
Did you see what happened
with him? He's doing charity, right?
Yeah, he's donated all now.
Yeah, Amazon, he was trying to sell through Amazon,
and they shut his account down.
That was his entire career, too.
They were like, nah.
Good.
So he had to give it all away.
Good.
I mean, I want the best for the general population,
but that guy's not doing his part to help,
so he needs to be punished for that.
Yeah.
Toiletpaper's still at a premium.
Very hard to find.
Not to mention the hand sanitizer thing.
There's not a drop available in all of Austin right now.
No, there's not.
I can't find any.
I've been to multiple HEBs and Targets and CVS,
and it's nowhere to be found.
I'm happy in the fact that I don't have a lot that I have to do
outside of my apartment.
And in here, we keep a pretty clean studio.
I wiped it down on Friday.
Wipe me down, Dave.
Hand sanitizer is not the most important thing for me to have right now,
as long as I can just wash my hands easily without touching anything.
It's nice to have around.
It's so nice to have around.
It has a comforting effect mentally.
Yes.
Like when you leave the grocery store, if you can just squirt a little Sani.
Oh, yeah. Did H-E-B the the sani bottles like at the register yeah that's that's a nice
touch yeah again if you're a whole if you're doing whole foods i would just be prepared for
their their version of hand sanity what does it feel like if you put it in your hands and what
does it feel like when you put it in your hands it's like slimy and gooey and it takes like a good
15 20 seconds for it to start to dissipate in your hands it's like slimy and gooey and it takes like a good 15 20
seconds for it to start to dissipate in your hands is there anything that like it compares to it kind
of feels like you're using just hand soap actually so it doesn't feel like anything like yeah no
there's something that i can't you're trying to talk about does it feel like semen yeah that's a
good yeah good call you know i wouldn't have thought of that but that's that's probably
actually really good i've never rubbed semen in my hand so I wouldn't have thought of that, but that's probably actually really good.
I've never rubbed semen in my hands, so I don't really know what that feels like. Oh, look at you high in my hands.
Is that why your hands are so dry?
Is that why yours aren't?
Yeah, dude, mine are fucking great.
Look at the cool guy, never had semen on his hands.
Yeah, must be nice, dude.
I mean, okay.
This is getting weird.
Well, you know, you brought it up.
How do you guys feel?
I guess I live in an apartment, and so I see people at my apartment.
Elevator buttons.
Oh, if you think I'm riding the elevator.
Are you practicing the elbow method?
Dude, I'm not touching our elevator.
There's no way I'm riding our elevator now.
I was talking to Ross Bolin on Saturday and we were talking about this and I was like, you realize
this is
like everybody now is going through the precautions
that I go through. This is me every day.
Like not touching elbow. Like this is
just my normal life. Like not wanting
to touch him. Like doing the elbow thing.
Opening the door with my forearm. Like yeah
this is kind of normal for me.
I am being more vigilant.
But, like, I would be, if I lived in an apartment complex
and I had to be around people, like, possibly get in an elevator with somebody,
I would be not happy.
We need a Curb episode on this.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
By the way, Curb last night was electric.
Haven't seen it yet.
I haven't seen it yet. I got to backlog a Curb I get to go through.
I'm jealous of you.
I might just start going back into old Curb episodes, too.
Yeah, that's not a bad idea at all.
The one last night was so good.
Okay.
Do we have anything else before we hop into round two of Bit Madness?
Be smart, people.
Don't be selfish.
Yeah, real talk. Dude, there's a lot of bad looksness? Be smart, people. Don't be selfish. Yeah, real talk.
Dude, there's a lot of bad looks that went on over the weekend.
And I'm hoping these people are now being shamed into not going to the club,
not going to bars.
I think it's weird.
It's like people, sadly, a lot of people need to see bodies.
They need to hear a body count before they take it seriously.
They need someone that's close to them to get it.
They don't understand it.
All of a sudden realize how dangerous it is.
I think the worst video I saw was spring break for a lot of colleges right now.
I saw people.
They were waiting in the surf of some Panama City beach or something.
I'm not real sure where they were.
And there were hundreds of them together and they were yelling, fuck Corona.
Like chanting it.
Of course.
You look like an absolute idiot right now.
Oh, that's defiant.
Wow.
That's so brave.
You're a selfish dickhead is what you are.
Yeah.
Wash your hands.
Wash your hands.
Does the ocean kill it?
I don't know.
I don't know how it lives in salt water.
Just don't, i don't know how it lives in salt water just don't just be smart it's like the one time in your life that you like are told to stay home and do nothing like just enjoy it for once do not go out in public do not like
converse with large groups of people i don't think it's gonna even gonna be an option soon
that people can even go out in public like yeah they're i mean like cdc recommendation
no groups of 50 or more for like the next eight weeks it's a recommendation but like a lot of
cities are adopting that it's like i don't know man i get like you know a few weeks ago we didn't
know how bad it's gonna be we're like what you know like last after last week though like you
should you should be taking it very seriously and if you. And if you do go to the bar, don't post about it.
Definitely don't because people are going to scorch you.
And don't mock it.
If you go out and mock it, like, what social quarantine or whatever,
social distancing, you know what I mean?
Like, that's a bad look.
Just be careful.
There's not that many times where I feel like we use our podcast
to relay a serious message to the people that listen.
And this is one of those times where I'm just begging you to be as safe as possible.
I wish like a month ago I would have had more foresight and not been like,
I don't know, thought it was not going to be that big of a deal
because we're young and healthy.
But again, the power of podcasts.
I've listened to two really
good podcasts on this that really opened my eyes first one being rogan's from a couple weeks ago
and then the one that you recommended will we can give her a shout it's called ologies yeah she had
like an infectious disease expert a virologist an epidemiologist and an epidemiologist is a
virologist real i don't know that's what d Dylan was at Grand X. Yeah. He was a director of going viral.
Virologist.
That's right.
Yeah.
Listen to those podcasts.
It might put things in perspective for you.
I will also say the New York Times Daily podcasts have been very good from the standpoint of
them answering a lot of questions that I've had myself that I haven't really known where
to look.
I don't know what anyone's thoughts on the New York Times are,
but on the Daily, there are a couple episodes over the last week
where they've asked very blunt, seemingly no-brainer questions
that I've been not too afraid to ask,
but just I don't know where to go for the right information sometimes.
And the information that they've given has been validating,
and I've learned a bit too.
So just be safe, please.
Please.
Please clap.
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I have an insane amount.
Must be nice.
Yeah, they were very good to me a while back,
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Is it Bit Madness time?
Oh, boy.
I'm glad we have Bit Madness today.
Not going to lie.
It's going to be hard to genuinely go in on some other topics,
mainly because everything is around coronavirus.
Doom and gloom.
Is this round two of Bit Madness?
This is round two, baby.
To all the first-round bounces, sorry. Some people were upset. Is this round two of Bit Madness? This is round two, baby. To all the first round bounces, sorry.
Some people were upset.
Maybe it'd be better.
Some people were upset.
Well, you know.
I'm not going to participate in this.
Is it because Randy got eliminated?
Not only that, I just thought there was a number of bad seeds.
The integrity of the tournament has been compromised.
Don't say that.
What? thought there was a number of bad seeds the integrity of the tournament has been compromised don't say that what i'll participate okay okay perfect lifetime just sent out a thing the gym are they closed they gotta be close right no but they're doing something that i'm trying to figure out
sorry i'm a little distracted if it's smart or not they're increasing staff inside the club
dedicated to cleaning and having team members beyond our facility operations team to assist.
I don't know if having more people in there is better or not,
even if they are cleaning.
I mean, I don't know.
The argument's probably there to be made.
You're going to get an email later today that's just saying they're shutting down.
I'm just not going either way.
Don't go to the gym, guys.
I'm not.
Don't go to the gym.
Yeah, well, you were concerned about that.
I'm very concerned about that because I feel like that's ground zero right now. And I know how much you guys love being to the gym, guys. I'm not. Don't go to the gym. Yeah, well, you were concerned about that. I miss it. I'm very concerned about that because I feel like that's ground zero right now.
And I know how much you guys love being at the gym.
It's my place, man.
I trust you guys.
If you guys need to use a Peloton just to get some sweat going, just hit me up.
There's other ways to get sweat going.
No, there's literally no other ways.
There's no other ways.
Trust me and Dylan.
So I don't have the seating.
We can sweat.
I don't have the seating for this.
Okay.
Okay.
All I have is the bracket. Dude, that's like part of the whole fun is me just shitting have the seating. We can sweat. I don't have the seating for this. Okay. Okay. All I have is the bracket.
Dude, that's like part of the whole fun is me just shitting on the seating.
I don't have the seating right now, unfortunately.
Does Brett have it?
Does Brett have the shit on the seating in the first one?
Brett, all I have is the screenshots that Brett sent me because I,
it's just go with me on this one.
Okay.
Our first matchup, Dave texting the homie versus worst of.
Oh, man.
Okay.
Okay.
Dave, what do you say here, buddy?
Man, Worst Of, it's a direct driver of revenue to watch media.
Me texting the homie, just another one of my bits, therefore it must die.
I'm going to put the onus on Will here because I'm going Dave texting the homie. I'm also going Dave texting the homie. Oh one of my bits therefore it must die i'm gonna put the onus on will here
because i'm going dave texting the homie i'm also going dave texting the homie oh come on as much as
i love worst of dave texting the homies uh a bit that i don't think will ever get old on me
especially in these troubled times like we've been texting a lot like dude how's it going
didn't he say okay the other day it's like, I feel like Dorn's botching this right now.
He called me Dorn?
Yeah.
He said you don't have hand soap.
Is that true?
No, that's not true.
Come on.
I was like, dude, what are you binging?
He told me he's starting the Sopranos over.
By the way, explaining coronavirus to a five-year-old
is interesting.
Yeah.
He kind of gets it.
Is he taking it seriously?
Like he didn't go to the club this weekend?
He did not go to the club.
He stayed home.
No bottle service for the homie.
But he's aware of coronavirus, and, of course, he learned about it at school.
I can't wait to talk about just giving my kid bottle service whenever I feed him.
Sally's not pregnant still.
Bottle service.
He seems to get it.
Smart kid.
He is. He's already using the paper towels in the bathroom to, like, Smart kid. He is.
He's already using the paper towels in the bathroom to, like, open the door and stuff.
He gets it.
What a guy.
Yeah.
I was very impressed with that.
I was definitely not doing that at his age.
I was impressed with that.
I don't think I was doing that until I was, like, 24.
Oh, using the paper towel to open the door?
Yeah, I was fucking YOLO.
Please use the paper towel to shut off the faucet and open the door with, guys.
It's true.
You guys ready for the next matchup?
I'm going to be honest.
It's probably the hardest matchup of today.
It's a matchup that I'm going to try to go first so I don't have to worry about it.
But it's Champagne or Champagne versus the homie.
Wow.
This is a Final Four matchup.
This is Dorne on Dorne.
I said I was going to go first,
but I don't even know what I'm going with at this point.
I mean, I'm going to go the homie, obviously.
I'm going Champagne.
He's my son.
Fuck!
We're just going to make Will choose everyone from here on out.
It would be a real shame if the team that knocked my dog out of the tournament went home the next round.
It would be a real shame, just saying.
Randy and the homie can't go home the first two rounds.
Well, I got bad news.
That's like the homie's going home because I'm picking Shepard.
Oh, yeah.
What an upset.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
The homie's already represented elsewhere in the bracket.
Dave, you should text him and let him know what just happened. The homie's already represented elsewhere in the bracket. Dave, you should text him and let him know what just happened.
He's represented elsewhere.
So I'm going with champagne because it's probably my all-time favorite thing
whenever it gets said.
It will never not make me laugh.
And any time I've had champagne since,
I think somebody handed me a flute of champagne at my wedding,
and I was like, oh, champagne.
Champagne.
Champagne goes through. All right right i just shot him a text this the next one's also difficult and dave you're not you're gonna have to kill one of your bits here i'm sorry good we can't kill them both
unfortunately too bad it's uh gardener snake dave versus the country of japan
there's an exclamation point after japan country of Japan?
There's an exclamation point after Japan.
Country of what?
Yeah, what is it?
What?
Japan.
Dude, come on.
Now more than ever, the people need it.
Japan!
If you didn't play Street Fighter, you don't know it.
You don't understand it.
You know what?
I stand in solidarity with the people of Japan.
I like that take.
I support the Japanese as well.
The Japanese have been absolutely crushing coronavirus.
However, I support gardener snakes too.
Gardener snake, I had an interaction with the park,
and a woman dropped a garter snake reference.
She said she saw one out at the park not long ago.
In my head, I was like, wait, did she say it right?
You don't need to report garter snake sightings to your neighbors.
There's nothing to be concerned about.
Yeah, I was like, they're having fun.
Yeah, is she on Nextdoor?
Have you guys dipped into Nextdoor?
She had her husband come up and shoot it.
They're going to put the skin on the wall?
Yeah, and made some boots out of it.
I vote Gardner's snake.
I'm going with Japan, and it's because of Dave's take.
That's a really good take.
They've been very good about the coronavirus so far.
Better than us? Sounds like the Japanese listen to their government
a little bit more.
When they're told to stay inside,
they actually stay inside.
Do they have tests?
Hard to say.
Interesting.
Yeah, we don't.
Yeah, that's the only thing
I'm really having a hard time
wrapping my brain around
is why we can't get tests.
Yeah, I feel like,
aren't we like the superpower?
Well, they have the drive-thru now.
Where? They're doing drive-thrus. How do superpower? They have the drive-thru now. Where?
They're doing drive-thrus.
How do I not know this?
It's been on Twitter.
I've been all over Twitter.
Greg Abbott tweeted it out.
They're adding more every day.
Don't get tested if you don't have symptoms.
Yeah, I'm not going to go through it.
Don't just think you need to go get tested.
That's such a panic move.
You're fine, but you're like, I just got to know if I've got it or not.
Which I get.
The sentiments there is you don't want to give it to people,
even if you are asymptomatic.
But you're opening yourself up for more, for contamination.
Has there ever been somebody more likely to get tested than me?
Maybe me, but you more than me.
I told Sally, I was like, Sally, should we go to this drive-thru? She's like,
Will, absolutely not. Where is it?
There's one, I think there's one near us.
I think they're doing, I could be wrong
here. I apologize if I'm wrong. I believe they're
doing them in
grocery store parking lots, pharmacy
parking lots, things like that. It's only drive-thru
so there's no human contact.
It's not like at the car wash?
Nah.
I'd be tired if it came.
Yeah, it's a swab. Okay.
You guys ready for the next one?
Swab me.
Ready for the next one?
Marine layer versus circling batch.
I'm going to go marine
layer because it was the only time I think y'all have
ever almost come to blows.
That's true.
It was probably the most tense moment in the history of circling back.
And for that reason,
I'm going with circling batch.
Yeah,
I am too.
I want to put Marine layer behind it.
No,
I will.
So like who,
which one of y'all was right?
They stopped at the end of the day. We not doing this we're not doing this we now more than ever we need the distraction no we don't no we need only positivity right now
our the marine layer fight ended up being such a big deal that a clothing brand launched and now
is like available in south congress here in austin and i own one of their jackets i own their pants yeah dylan is like you're like you wear marine
layer now which i love it's great actually lauren stole that from me because she hates the jacket so
much i have to get it back she doesn't like that jacket she hates it so she just took it from you
she took it and uh didn't let me know she took it until it was, well, without a reach.
You know what?
Now that I'm thinking about it, you do look like shit in that jacket.
I don't think so.
I think I look pretty handsome in it.
I can't even picture it.
My corduroy one.
So what one?
Marine layer went home?
Marine layer's going home.
This fucking tournament, dude.
Circling batch is the...
They should have called it.
It's the one.
They should have just said, look, we'll play it next year.
This next one's also tough.
Okay.
Dorn's Deal.
Ooh.
Versus Frat Dave.
Oh!
Hmm.
One of them we don't know.
Frat Dave definitely was screaming fuck Corona in Panama City this weekend.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's fair. He was doing... No, not Panama. He fuck Corona in Panama City this weekend. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's fair.
No, he wasn't in Panama City.
He was in, like, Charleston.
He was taking precautions.
He stopped snorting Adderall off, like, bathroom counters
and instead was just taking it.
He was just snorting it off his boy's ween?
Yeah.
Also, yeah, if you're kissing your homies, be careful.
Make sure your homies clean before you kiss them.
Make them do a saltwater gargle before any smooching going on.
Yeah, if you need to baby bird the saltwater because you're, you know.
No baby birding, dude.
That's off the table.
Okay, fine.
I don't know what to go with here.
I'm going for that, Dave.
Why?
Is it because the other one is your deal?
Because I don't have a deal.
Well, we don't know what it is.
That's the thing.
What are you choosing, Dave?
I'm going to put the onus on Will, and I'm going to vote for Dorn's deal.
I'm voting for frat Dave.
Oh, come on.
Frat Dave always plays.
Honestly, Dorn's deal is so vague right now.
We're still unsure of what it actually is.
I guess that means that no one will call in asking what Dornsdale is anymore.
Now that it's officially canceled, it's too bad that no one is ever going to ask anymore.
Fred Dave is hunkered down at his family's lake house somewhere.
This next one is also a good one.
The driveway, there are like four Tahos. His boys just showed up.
Yeah, we got
Eatsies to cater.
Oh, that's such a hyper-niche joke.
Yeah. I fucking love
Eatsies. Me too.
There's rumors that one is coming to Austin, Dave.
Yeah, I'm wondering. And if it does, they're going to have
a lot of my money.
I did see there's a Dorns Deal cocktail on the Reddit.
I don't know if you guys saw that.
Is that right?
Perfect.
Ready for the next one?
Fulton Oil and Gas versus Dorns Bleached Butthole.
Oh, this is not.
Okay. Can we talk about what Fulton did over the weekend with us?
is not okay can we talk about what fulton did um like over the weekend with us he sent us a group dm on twitter inviting us to his birthday celebration at a bar somewhere so we won't
be there no offense it's just we're distancing socially and then he left the group yeah that's
tight i saw that yesterday and i responded and i was like oh wait he's not even in here why why
did he delete why did he leave the group that he started?
Because it's the ultimate flex.
Also on the Reddit, he claimed that he was actually on this podcast and we refused to release it.
Yeah, we need to confront that.
That's not true.
He's legitimately never been in this studio.
That is not true to anyone out there who thinks that he was actually on.
Now, we've discussed having him on.
I'm open having him on.
We thought, and it's going to happen at some point, maybe.
I'm actually going to go with Fulton Oil and Gas,
and it's because he had a very good message about his pre-gaming column
on Reddit this past weekend.
Oh, I'm definitely going with the butthole.
Well, then.
Well.
Oil and Gas is moving on.
God damn it.
If you haven't already, go to our subreddit, read what Fulton wrote,
because everything he said was very...
What's a TLD?
Give me the bullet points.
Be safe.
Oh, okay.
Well said.
Pre-game in the comfort
of your own home.
Damn.
We got two more matchups
on the side of the bracket.
By the way,
Fulton's home is not
the exchange two in San Marcos.
He confirmed to me.
Oh, okay.
That's good.
Everybody was mad at me about last week's pod, and he was another one.
Oh, because you were killing just all your bits?
Yeah, just among other things.
I was just trashed last Wednesday.
This one's a hard one.
You ready?
This has big merch implications.
Wilmonds versus Roback circling back collab.
Ooh, I'm going to be a shill.
Give me Roback. I hate to do this to our boys at Roback.ling back collab. Ooh, I'm going to be a shill. Give me Roback.
I hate to do this to our boys at Roback.
We love those guys.
But I enjoy the Wilmonds bit maybe too much.
I enjoy being a running business.
I stand Roback as much as anybody.
But I can't kill my own business.
It's my own business.
What am I supposed to do?
Well, everybody's cutting back.
Here, as added value,
as added value because we're kicking Roback out
and because we might have some custom merch in the future,
eyes emoji,
we'll have officially,
this will be sponsored by Roback
for the remainder of Bit Madness.
How's that sound?
That's fair. I mean, they're not going to be happy
about it but dude they're they got the title sponsor for bit madness no one else is getting
that's true that's added value speaking of robert use promo code rosie 20 at checkout
for 20 off your order if you think that i'm not putting my ac down to 68 this entire time that
we're quarantined and just sitting there in a rowback QZ the entire time.
That's 100% what I'm doing.
It's an interesting move.
Okay.
It's very specific.
There's nothing more comfortable than just sitting on your couch in a QZ.
I love it.
I can think of a few things.
Ready for this last one?
But I do enjoy a great QZ.
There's literally nothing.
May have a good one.
Final matchup of this side of the bracket,
Feral Hogs versus Ted Cruz.
You could maybe describe him as a Feral Hog.
He's on double quarantine.
Yeah, he re-quarantined himself, didn't he?
Dude, no one's doing that.
Respect.
I'm going with Feral Hogs
because I'm thinking of a real-life battle
and they would definitely stomp out Ted Cruz.
That's how we're going to look at this.
This changes the complexion of the bracket.
Ted Cruz is done.
I'm going Pharaoh Hogs.
Well, I think I'm just getting started, Dylan.
The road to 2024 starts here.
Queso.
The guy next to us is going off.
The guy next door is.
We never talk about it because it's not a good radio,
but he's going off today.
He is not quarantined.
One of his subcontractors has corona.
You know it.
He's pissed that he won't come into work.
He's just livid right now.
I don't care what he's got.
We got a job to do.
We got to get down to the job site.
Oh, man.
You guys ready for side two?
Hey, what kind of boots do y'all think that dude's wearing?
Oh, I can't even imagine.
Like what?
If you had to pick, style.
He has square-toed Ariats.
Okay.
I thought that's what we might say.
Square-toed Ariats.
A lot of people hit me up with their Ariat boots or their square-toe collection.
It's fine.
Look, I'm sure they look dope on you.
They just don't look dope on me.
Or anyone, for that matter.
Well, you know, Dylan said it.
Square-toe boots not being in the bracket.
Wait, or was it? It was too late, man. it. Square toe boots not being in the bracket. Wait, or was it?
It was too late, man.
They turned it on towards the end of the season.
It wasn't enough.
They're an NIT favorite, though.
They made a playoff run, but they didn't quite close on it.
It's okay.
They'll be back.
They're kind of like the Shaka Smart Texas teams.
If that even plays, I don't know.
What's up, Will? You getting a funny message?
No, I'm laughing. I did. I put up a
meme earlier on Sunday Scaries.
On the Instagram?
On the Instagram. Is it doing numbies?
It's doing better than anything it's ever done
on the Sunday Scaries Instagram to the point
where I'm kind of just in amazement
of how well it's doing. Wow.
Good for you. Yeah.
No, good for us. Good for us.
Good for us.
Hey, let's do the next side.
Ready for this?
It's a good first round matchup.
Big Cats versus...
Oh, this is tough.
Which Big Cat?
Barstool, Tiger, or actual Big Cats?
I think it's just all-encompassing.
I think it's just any big cat out there.
Large predatory felines.
Whether you're a big-time sports podcaster, the best golfer of all time,
or you're just a predatory cat out in the jungle.
Did you see on Twitter a lady posted from her living room that mountain lion?
Yes, we retweeted it from the Circling Back account.
That thing was an absolute unit.
That's tight.
I mean, it's tight unless you have pets out there.
Which is probably what he was looking for.
Yeah.
Yeah, he was hungry.
He was trying to do his shopping.
That thing's eating a kid.
It was feeding.
That would eat your kid.
Yeah, the homie would not stand a chance.
I've taught him a few more things.
I taught him a roundhouse kick.
I don't think it would be enough for the mountain lion.
He'd be an hors d'oeuvre to a mountain lion.
Just a snack?
Just a little snack. Yeah, he'd be using the homie'suvre to a Mountain Lion. Just a snack, just a little snack.
He'd be using the homies like femurs, like a toothpick.
Okay.
Jeez.
Calm down.
Mountain Lion's like, damn.
Sorry, I got too excited.
Damn, Park's looking like a goddamn snack right now.
So messed up, man.
I don't even know.
I'm going to go with Big Cats.
Oh, gosh.
What was it up against?
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
You know I love Big Cats. It's going to be hard for me to vote any of these down, gosh. What was it up against? I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. You know I love cats.
It's going to be hard for me to vote any of these down, man.
I'm going cats.
So that moves on then?
I just.
That moves on.
There's never a time where someone sends me,
unless I've been sent it already by 100 people,
there's never a time when someone sends me a big cat story or photo
that I'm not interested.
It's crazy how long we've been doing
big cat stuff and it's crazy to think
that anytime someone tags or
sends it along, my first
thought is, alright, we got stuff for tomorrow.
And I never find it uninteresting when people
send me stories about big cat sightings
or whatever. How could you?
It's so fucking tight.
They're just the coolest animal.
Yeah.
So are we doing big cats?
Are we sending them through?
Yeah, they're through.
They're through?
Okay.
Are you guys ready?
New sponsor alert.
New sponsor alert.
Versus horny on the timeline.
People are, I will say this,
no one's going to be hornier than everybody right now
this is the horniest time we've ever been around i can't i can't you know how pornhub always does
their like metrics that they always release on twitter and it's like oh blah blah this is going
to be an all-time next gen stats day for darren revell always tweets about it he's horny. He needs to just stop. No, I love his content.
He's such a dork.
He unblocked me,
and then I unfollowed him.
I gotta say, man,
this is tough, but
with how horny Dylan's been lately,
I just think horny has to go through.
I haven't been horny lately.
You're the horniest in the room.
That's not true. I think we all need to embrace our horniness right now, so I'm going to go with. I haven't been horny lately. You're the horniest in the room. That's not true.
I think we all need to embrace our horniness right now,
so I'm going to go with horny on the timeline.
What was the horniest you were this weekend, Dylan?
What made you the horniest?
Dave, I don't know how to answer that question, really.
So I'm just not going to.
How about that?
It doesn't have to be sexual.
Horny on the TL is advancing.
Embrace your horniness, everybody.
I like hornsby on the TL
better. Yeah, that's good. Just a tasteful amount.
There was some of that this weekend. Yeah.
Dorn's
Dinners. This is a tough one.
This is a tough one. Dorn's Dinners
versus Spooky Season.
People are worried about Dorn's Dinners
during lockdown.
I am too.
Honestly. This is your time to learn how to do spaghetti.
This might be the time where your dinners actually improve
because you're actually prepared and have food in your house.
Yeah.
But the stores are cleaned out, man.
Are you going to start eating like French red pizzas and stuff?
Red Baron.
Those Red Baron French bread pizzas go.
Dude, French red pizzas are the most underrated like frozen food. That was a college food for me.
I love them. The French bread
just hits so different. The thing about it
is it's a bread that's French.
Yeah. I'm going to
try to maintain somewhat of a healthy lifestyle
during this quarantine.
It's going to be tough, though. I'm not going to lie. How many steps
do you think you're going to take a day? Not many.
You know what I was thinking?
This is a great time to
get that body right. Fast food, for the most part,
is probably off the table, right?
I don't know.
This is a lot of cooking at home.
I think it's too early to say because I do think that there are going to be places where
you can pick up to-go food and go through drive-thrus, but at the same time, do you
trust the establishments?
I don't know.
It depends on the establishment, as we discussed off mic.
There's a couple around here I don't trust.
Do you want to leave your house?
No.
I know you're only getting your car, but still, I don't know if I want to deal with it.
Yeah.
No, I agree.
I've been cooking lunch a lot.
Before, I would just pick something up.
Now, I'm doing chicken thighs for lunch and rice.
A lot of chicken and rice for the D-man here i did hear i did hear a good idea if you have the money again this is only if you have the money to do this i don't want people overextending
themselves but i heard an idea that you should if there's places that you go often such as for us
maybe matzah rancho House, my ramen spot,
that you should buy gift cards there now to help them out in the time of need because you know you're going to use it later.
Man, that would be an upstanding thing to do.
I do think I might buy a couple gift cards to, like,
three of my top restaurants to use in the future.
I'll say this.
I'll say this.
I know this might be bad taste, but I feel like Matt's is going to do fine.
Matt's will be fine. Matt's will be fine.
Matt's will be fine.
Assuming they haven't just been blowing the millions of dollars they make.
Yeah.
Matt's should be fine.
So, Dorn's dinners versus spooky season.
I'm going with spooky season.
How can you not go spooky season?
I laugh.
For some reason, I just love talking about your dinners just because they're trash.
No, I agree.
It's a funny bit.
But spooky season makes me laugh for like an hour straight. And so I have to go spooky season.
Can we do a spooky season this week?
Spooky times, Dylan.
Yes.
How could I vote?
How could I vote against your dinners, Dylan?
What's for dinner tonight?
Texas goulash.
I feel like I've used that joke before.
Probably have, yeah.
In another life, maybe.
So wait, so I lost?
What went through?
Spooky season?
Spooky season goes through.
Dorn's dinners are officially dead.
That's bullshit.
They were pretty much already dead.
It's a funny bit.
Has this been a big dub for Dorn?
That doesn't mean the bit dies, Dave.
It just means it's not going to be a tournament.
Did your butthole lose?
Your bleach butthole?
Yeah, I believe his butthole lost as well. Did your deal lose? His deal lost as well.
This is huge for Dylan.
At least you pointed it out because I'm not sure what's in our
future right now, but just know that
I'll probably be voting differently for the
next 10 minutes. Okay.
Optimized. I believe that means
the optimized backers. Sure.
Versus Dave's made-up stories. Oh! Well, I ride for the backers. You believe that means the optimized backers. Sure. Versus Dave's made-up stories.
Oh.
Well, I ride for the backers.
You know that.
I'm going optimized here.
I don't understand this,
because Dave's made-up stories,
like, what is that?
It's the stories that you make up.
I don't even...
Pretty self-explanatory, David.
I'm voting for the optimized backers,
because I don't even think it's valid
that we have made-up stories on here.
I've literally never heard you make one up before.
Yeah.
That's weird.
I'm not out here capping.
So I'm going to go with the optimized backers here.
I think he averages like three made-up stories per episode, actually.
So that's interesting.
I don't even know if you can look that up.
Probably a way to.
No.
This next one's hard.
Figuratively. Okay. no this next one's hard figuratively okay the homies memes or bluetooth speakers it's not that hard really
did you no one can see this because uh human hasn't uh gotten the the studio set up for video but d Dave and Dylan just looked at each other.
I'll tell you this.
They just stared at each other for like five seconds,
just like kind of like how Larry David does it,
just like kind of peering over at somebody.
What are you going to do? What's going to secure your financial future more?
Homies memes or BTS?
They're both good investments, if I'm being honest.
I say the latter.
I am going with the Bluetooth speaker.
It's 2020. We have Bluetooth technology. We're both good. I say the latter. I am going with the Bluetooth speaker. It's 2020.
We have Bluetooth technology.
We're using it every day. We use the Bluetooth technology to call Brett. It's true.
I think we should call Randy the human
after this. I react to you choosing
the BTS
is the meme of the homie sitting
at the staring at the computer screen.
He didn't total disbelief. He didn't even listen
to the pod. He's never going to know.
He told me to stop listening.
He said we're not as funny as we were on Touching Base.
He really said that?
Yeah, I was like, Jesus, dude.
They've told me that.
Dude, you can't tell Dylan that.
It's going to ruin him.
I've got to take his phone away from him.
I'm going Bluetooth speakers.
Wow.
If we're going to kill all the bad things that apply to Dylan,
I'm going to kill
some of the good ones too.
We wish you no joy.
What was that
wood panel Bluetooth speaker
you were using
over the weekend?
Dude, how swag was that?
That was tight.
Was that a Kraft Custom?
I don't know.
We were just playing
some cornhole in the backyard
and I saw this Bluetooth speaker
sitting there.
I was like,
damn, we got a fucking
lituation right now.
It's like something
you would find in the closet
at someone's lake house
that's been sitting there
for 20 years.
Yeah.
Hashtag Chad thought
there was cocaine on it.
I can confirm that
it wasn't cocaine.
Were you doing
wheezing corks?
I think I actually
don't really know what it was
but I have a feeling
it might have been
some sort of pollen.
My car was absolutely
littered in pollen.
Dude I hope it wasn't COVID.
I hope it wasn't
littered in COVID.
I don't think you can see COVID.
That would make this
a lot easier if you could see it.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
If you had night vision goggles, could you see it?
Probably not.
Don't believe so, Dave.
I fucked up.
Oh, damn it.
What'd you do?
Silly, silly bitch.
Okay, we did Yeah vs. Big Cats.
We did New Sponsor, Late vs. Horny on the Timeline,
Doran's Dinner vs. Spooky Season,
Optimized vs. Dave's Made Up Stories,
The Homie Memes vs. Bluetooth Speakers.
Never mind.
I did not mess up.
That's good.
What's next then, bitch?
Hold on.
One.
What's next for Will in 2020?
Wow, dude.
You're the new Micah.
No.
Brett messed up by not sending me the entire thing.
He's putting it on Big Game.
Yeah, Big Game had a mistake.
I'm going to text him real quick.
He's probably at the grocery store.
Well, if he did mess this up,
then we'll just have to vote on the last one next episode.
Is that okay with you guys?
It's a tease.
Okay, next we have the nail bag oh
versus visencox the thing about the nail bag is it's a bag of nails
wait is it just visencox or visencox being done in a way that might be
like off your homie's piece. Correct. Because that changes things.
By the way, during self-quarantine, please don't do V-Zincocks off your homie's penis.
Do it off your own.
Now's not the time to do that.
Cut a rib out and do it off your own.
Yeah, if you can possibly do it off your own, just do that.
But yeah, don't do it off your homie's just because that's irresponsible.
Yeah, you just never know.
Well, because spooky season's already through, I'm going to go with V-Zincocks.
Yeah, we don't need spooky season and the nail bag. Yeah,'m going to go with Vies and Cox. Yeah, we don't need Spooky Season and the Nailbag.
Yeah, I got to go with Vies and Cox here.
You know what?
Vies and Cox advances.
Let the record show that Vies and Cox would have been my vote.
Okay.
I think the Nailbag is worthy of making a run, but because Spooky Season's already doing well,
I'm not going to feel bad axing it.
So you know how Dylan has the mailbag podcast the nail bag what i did was i switched the n and the m so like
a nail like a nail in the coffin for spooky season it's a similar concept to the mailbag
makes sense the nail bag interesting yeah interesting we're so creative i know do you i
mean i've been saying it you guys have been sleeping on my creativity.
Next up, the lodge versus pulling pipe.
What if you pulled pipe at the lodge?
There's going to be a lot of pipe pulling over the next half.
Sure, it's been done weeks. You've been playing a lot of golf?
What do you mean?
I'm talking about cranking.
Dude, they shut down all the city courses.
I think people masturbating is going to go way up.
You think masturbation is... People are going to be out there fapping? Dude, that shut down all the city courses. I think people masturbating is going to go way up. You think masturbation is...
People are going to be out there fapping?
Dude, that's sick internet slang.
Dude, I know.
I'm on Reddit.
Oh, dude.
That's so epic.
Wow, the fap is strong with this one.
Oh, that's an epic one.
I was wrong.
We didn't get this cut off, so we're good, guys.
Okay, so you apologized to Brett for the slander.
I did.
I apologize. I apologize.
I'm going with the Lodge.
I'm pulling pipe.
I'm still hoping Callaway sends me a Mav.
Yeah.
I'm actually begging for it at this point.
We miss it.
Even though I won't be playing golf for the next eight weeks.
Yeah, I wish Chad would have, like, stayed part-time at Callaway or something.
Yeah, can't he just, he just be a consultant or something?
Will, do you want to come over?
Dylan, you're invited too.
Take some cuts in the Dave Ruff Swing Academy.
Sure, yeah.
I've got my backyard suited up in case you want to work on some things.
My game is atrocious right now.
Yeah, how'd it go the other day?
Atrociously.
Was it scrambies at least?
Yeah, we shot a 62.
It was five, man.
It was not a great score it
was yeah how was the tournament was it did y'all fun oh yeah did you get boozed up that yeah yeah
they they had yeah did you had a full bar beers white claw it was crazy did you stay at barton
creek no no stayed at the crib okay yeah that would have been tight if you had to get a room
that was my my last social outing pre-quarantine pre-teen pre no no we're not calling it pre-teen
we're not calling it well i'm just trying to think of ways we'll stick with the word quarantine all
right all right yeah is that how we need to refer to, like, pre-COVID?
No.
Yeah, it was pre-teen.
Please, no.
Days were just better back in pre-teen.
Did we finish the...
I voted for the Lodge.
What did you guys put?
I'm going pulling pipe.
It's on me, then.
The Lodge advances.
Oh, fuck.
We're keeping the Lodge as sanitary as possible, and I stand that.
What are you pulling?
What are you pulling?
Three wood?
You pulling hybrid?
I'm still pulling pipe.
No, you're not.
No. Next time I play with you, you are not allowed to pull pipe you can't stop me david how about that i'm gonna do it uh lauren did i'm gonna steal your driver
dude don't do that i'll just use yours be the same one fuck that's true you guys ready for
the final matchup of the uh round of 32 enzo the dog versus add me on the group
well this is easy for me.
I'm going to make it interesting.
Enzo.
Bang.
See, I can't vote for Enzo.
Why?
Because Enzo needs to be self-quarantining.
He's just wandering around my neighborhood right now.
He's being reckless right now.
There's one thing I know about Enzo that he's not going to self-quarantine.
He's the opposite of a self-quarantiner. He's being reckless right now. There's one thing I know about Enzo that he's not going to self-quarantine. He's the opposite of a self-quarantiner.
He's a wanderer.
Dude is just walking around,
just knocking on doors and just spreading stuff.
So you vote for add me on the ground.
Add me on the ground.
That means advancing is...
Add me on the ground.
Let's move on.
We can't.
That's it.
You know, you guys did it.
Wow.
Unbelievable. Look, I ride for Enzo. Doesn't. That's it. You know, you guys did it. Wow.
Unbelievable.
Look, I ride for Enzo.
Doesn't sound like you do.
I do.
But add me on the Grom is one of my favorite soundbites maybe ever.
It's one of the goats.
You know what?
I hope he lights a flaming bag of poo on your doorstep tonight. Enzo?
And he might do it.
I don't think he's capable of doing that.
He doesn't even have thumbs.
How's he going to work a lighter?
He's a very, very resourceful pup, as he's proven.
So.
All right.
That's our round of 32.
Wow.
I don't really know where to leave off today's episode.
Are people betting on the outcome?
Let's call human.
Are people betting on the outcome of this tournament since they Are people betting on the outcome? Let's call Human.
Are people betting on the outcome of this tournament since they can't bet on actual sports?
Let's call Human.
We're calling Randy?
Let's call Human Randy.
What if he doesn't answer?
What if he just bombs?
That's fine.
What if he screens our call?
He's going to be very confused.
Yeah, I know.
He does not know that we are calling him.
What if he says something super inappropriate? Oh, dude.
I hope he picks up.
He's texting me back.
I hope he did. say he's watching euphoria
i don't know if you want to watch it parks is watching euphoria yeah that is a pretty good
randy i got big news for you don't say anything bad because you're officially on the circling
back podcast right now oh well hello what's up randy up, Randy? This is human Randy.
This is human Randy.
I just had to walk out of my store.
Hey, guess what we did like an hour ago?
We announced your addition to the company, man.
Oh, well, I'm excited.
Yeah, sorry you couldn't be here in person, but you're quarantined right now.
Yeah, so I'm quarantined at Jimmy John's going around delivering sandwiches. Oh, wonderful around delivering sandwiches oh wonderful oh yeah oh yeah that's what you do not for long not for long today your last day
today's my last day well considering tomorrow's my first day with you guys yes today is my last
oh i thought you're gonna double up i'm glad you're not no you couldn't no we made that a
part of the deal he He's all in.
Damn,
are you taking extra precautions
as a delivery driver
of food?
Oh,
yeah,
I'm social distancing.
I'm just throwing
the sandwiches
through the door,
not even opening doors.
You're just throwing
them through windows
and stuff?
Like Dylan style,
just heaving it?
Exactly.
Can you punt
a Jimmy John's sandwich
further than Dylan can punt a donut hole
i think so i mean they got they got a lot of structural integrity yeah it's got good weight
to it uh randy you got any thoughts on the bit madness bracket maybe the seating or anything
like that uh you know what i gotta i'm a little upset you pulled the tape and didn't go through.
It was a Cinderella story, but
a guy wouldn't deserve the Randy seating.
I will say, definitely, I'll take
the blame for that. I think Randy got a
lower seat because of me.
Don't be mad
at Backer Nation for that.
That's on me, Dave. I'll
go on the cross for that. Why are you responsible for that?
I just feel like I brought Randy down.
He's tanked the name Randy.
Oh, man.
Yeah, exactly.
So I'll take need.
Hey, not to completely confront you on your first week of work,
but we need a different name for you.
Do you have a nickname you'd like to go by?
I don't know.
We can just, you know, Human Randy works.
Video Man Randy.
Video Man Randy Savage. Whatever works.
I don't hate that.
Video Man Randy Savage isn't the worst.
I call Randy Randy. It's my Randy.
Randy Savage sometimes.
You know I met Randy Savage.
I did not know that.
Yep, met him at a restaurant in Chicago.
Oh, yeah.
He was very nice.
Oh, yeah.
Self-quarantine, bro.
I'm sorry.
It's not a good...
Nice to meet you, Will.
Where's Miss Elizabeth?
Well, Randy, we're going to be in contact with you later today.
Hold on.
Let's keep doing the voice.
Randy, we're going to be in contact with you later today. Hold on. Let's keep doing the voice. Randy, we're going to be in contact with you later today regarding your responsibilities
because plans are changing.
So you might not be setting up the stew as soon as we thought you might be.
Okay.
Am I still coming in tomorrow?
It's hard to say.
Probably not.
You're probably not.
You're probably working from home.
We need you to cut content clips from home, maybe.
Okay.
Well, that works for me.
Whatever works.
If we're going to set up webcams and stuff, we'll figure it all out.
We'll figure it out.
Randy, we'll be in touch.
Guess what I did?
I ordered a Logitech camera for Twitch.
I'm excited.
Are you going to be Twitching a lot?
We'll see.
We got to get it done on Warzone. We need to play together. Are you going to be twitching a lot? We'll see.
We got to get a dub on Warzone.
We need to play together.
We've played a couple times, but I played last night with a couple people and lost track of time, got to bed after midnight, wasn't happy about it.
You got to think Call of Duty's stock is up the roof right now
since everyone's home just playing.
Yeah, the servers crashed yesterday, literally.
Did they?
In the middle of a game, yeah.
But they're back now.
They should have iced them down.
They knew that you were coming out.
They should have been icing them.
I didn't want to be the one to say it,
but there's a lot of chatter that that's what happened.
Booty chatter?
A lot of booty chatter getting spit.
Randy, what are you most looking forward to
in your time here at Watch Media?
I'm just looking
to make great content for the backers.
There we go.
That's all I needed to hear.
Alright, Randy.
I'm having fun. That's all I'm going to do.
That's all I'm looking forward to.
Is your last name Polish?
Yes, it is.
Yes. Oh, yeah. The Pole Polish? Yes, it is. Yes.
Oh, yeah.
The Pole.
Let's just call him The Pole.
No, that's Dylan's nickname.
Come on, Dave.
That was just me lobbing one over the plate for Dave to wreck.
All right, Randy, we're going to let you get out of here,
but we'll be in touch.
All right, sounds good.
Talk to you guys later.
All right, see ya. There he is, folks. While we're really making use of get out of here, but we'll be in touch. All right. Sounds good. Talk to you guys later. All right. See ya.
There he is, folks. While we're really making use of this Bluetooth technology.
Dude, yeah.
This is the most we've ever used it.
It's a podcast of me.
I just come in here on Friday, and I just call people.
Yeah.
Dude, we're going to end up doing that.
I hope you realize that.
We're going to get Duda on the line, Micah on the line.
Do you remember the first time we had Duda on the phone at Touching Base
and the connection was just the worst thing ever?
Not great.
And I don't know if it was Micah's fault, but he definitely got the blame.
How do we feel about – so Micah obviously lives in the same apartment building as me.
How do we feel about me interacting with him?
Is he on work-from-home status?
I have yet to find out.
I'm going to ask him very briefly
trying to have a slumber party or something i don't know but like i i was i read some article
and it was kind of saying that like if you come to a an agreement with another couple that you're
like close with in proximity like swingers yeah kind of like a swinger thing but just like you
know with like necessities of life they're like but if you need to like meet up with them or share supplies uh whatever
share information that it might be good to have another couple that you can trust
a support system yeah mike is probably psyched to be self-quarantined with his new dog
yeah that's true like if i had a puppy i'd be like oh this is really it's a great time it's
a great time to have a pup.
Shout out to all the dogs out there that can't really get coronavirus.
That's a huge dub.
Shout out to all the dogs.
Dude, can you imagine?
Be tight, man.
I would be freaking, I would be way more neurotic.
The only amenity in our apartment complex that's still open is the dog park.
Really?
Yeah.
They've closed the gym. Can I ask you guys a really, like weird question but like kind of a what's up a deep deep question have you guys have you guys had any moments where you've
like thought about how much you take other things for granted yet not yet even though we haven't
been quarantined for a long time just the idea of potentially being quarantined for a long time is
like heightened my awareness and last night i let rosie out and there are some other dogs running
around and it was the first time pretty much ever that i was just sitting there soaking it in i was like
this is nice this is nice there are other people out there that were just talking normally and i
was like all right this is this is better than sitting alone in my apartment oh no we might be
getting fetch off who knows yesterday was tough because the weather was kind of shit raining so
i couldn't really go to the park with Randy.
Took him on a little walk around the block.
But park is just, you know, I can't have him getting all muddy.
It's reckless.
We're going to try it today.
But I do, last week when I was in pseudo lockdown, like Friday and Saturday,
brought him out there, the weather was great.
It was nice.
There's a few other people.
Everybody's keeping their distance.
I've heard some very, very bad takes on this whole deal.
Not going to call anybody out, but some things that are just not true.
Someone in my neighborhood might have compared it to a disease from the 80s
that was rampant.
I will say, be careful where you're getting your information.
He's right.
If you have screenshots of someone's Facebook status,
that's not really the information that's going to help matters.
My Facebook is popping.
I don't trust any sources really right now.
Go to CDC.
I mean, like, secondhand sources, I should say.
No, I trust nothing.
Oh, I heard that blah, blah, blah.
That means nothing to me at this point.
Unless it's a government yeah yeah unless it's a government entity or an organization solely dedicated to this and i that i'm only getting my information from there
yeah catch me following organizations on twitter dude shit next door is going wild dude he what
has happened i don't know he is i think the guy next to us is... Dude, his subs just didn't show to the job.
Dude, he's got to be just putting out fires today.
Man, I'm getting killed.
We need to have him on sometime so everybody can know what he sounds like
because if you just heard this man's voice,
you would understand why we find him so humorous.
He is a talker.
Can I share something?
I just pulled up my Facebook.
Top thing on my thing.
Ready?
It's a meme or it's just an image.
It says, stole this from a friend.
President Trump, COVID-19 coronavirus.
U.S. cases, 1329.
U.S. deaths, 38.
Panic level, mass hysteria.
President Obama.
H1N1 virus.
U.S. cases, 60.8 million.
U.S. deaths, 12,469 panic level, totally chill.
Do you all see how the media can manipulate your life?
Dylan?
Hmm.
I didn't realize that many people were affected by the H1N1 swine flu.
Was that H1N1?
Yeah.
That's the other name for it.
I guess I didn't.
I don't know the validity of these these stats yeah yeah of what swine
flu yeah or just any of this well i can tell you if swine flu is uh anything like
covid19 you don't want it did swine flu have a uh a little bonus but little bonus but issue
swine flu had a nice little bonus but issue as well as a bonus throw-up issue.
See, that's where COVID is lacking.
That's where COVID is kind of a real one.
Thank you for leaving our buttholes alone, COVID.
Yeah, I didn't throw up a lot, but it definitely had that effect.
And I don't know.
I mean, I definitely got it, and it was absolutely miserable.
And so I think that might be why I'm on, like, high alert
than I think I would have been otherwise.
Yeah, look, you've been through this.
It's not fun.
But instead of a – no, never mind.
Any closing thoughts today, boys?
Hey, man, we're here.
We're going to make content.
Yeah, whether we're in the studio
or whether we're doing it from the comfort of our own home,
we are going to be hitting the ground running.
We are bringing the audio.
I might be bringing words to the screen.
Excuse me?
Just keep an eye out.
You're going to write something.
Just keep an eye out.
I don't think we have a plan in place tomorrow.
I think we kind of need to be a little fluid when it comes to this kind of stuff.
Normally, we would be doing a plan in place tomorrow. I think we kind of need to be a little fluid when it comes to this kind of stuff. Normally we would be doing a worst of episode tomorrow.
I'm not sure what we're going to end up doing.
I think we just play it by ear.
I think we all just come up here at separate times and just call people.
Just holler at people.
But we'll be very transparent regarding our plans moving forward,
and we hope that everyone stays safe.
Keep an eye on your feeds.
You're going to see some surprise tent. It's going to be fun. You an eye on your feeds. You're going to see some surprise tent.
It's going to be fun.
You're going to get audio.
You're going to get visual
and whatever Will's doing.
Just be ready, folks.
We're going to do
everything we can
to keep you entertained
at a time where
you probably could use
a little reprieve
from all the shit
that's all over Twitter
and the rest of the internet.
Be smart.
Stay home.
There you go.
Well said, Dylan. Bye. the rest of the internet be smart stay home there you go well said dylan bye