Circling Back - Restraining Orders & Identified Flying Objects
Episode Date: September 14, 2020Friend of the podcast Colton Underwood had a restraining order put on him, recapping This Weekend in Fun, Joe Rogan wants to host a debate between Trump and Biden, two Austinites who want to create a ...lab-grown brisket, Florida reversed a ban on sagging pants, and an electric version of Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:38) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (31:10) Colton Got A Restraining Order (46:00) Joe Rogan's Presidential Debate (53:43) Lab-Grown Brisket (1:01:27) Floridians Can Sag Again (1:09:28) Brett’s Breaking News Vincero: www.vincerowatches.com/circling (CIRCLING for 20% off) Figs: www.wearfigs.com (STEAM15 for 15% off) Tushy: www.hellotushy.com/circling (10% off) Miller High Life: The Champagne of Beers. A quality beer within everyone’s reach. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Speaker 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0
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7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7, 0 7 podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name's will defreeze to my left dylan shivery
what's up with that first intro that must mean dave is not here unfortunately but i'm here and
very happy to be to be here that boy's gone how'd it feel it felt good man i thought that might you
might just skip on ahead to brett but um i appreciate the intro. I did consider just hopping in and saying right in front of me is Brett Merriman, but
to be honest, through your illustrious career of being a podcaster and being a co-host and
things like that.
And your business partner.
And business partner and just friend.
I thought you earned it.
You earned the first one today.
Thank you.
Thank you.
People know why Dave's not here.
He said, right? I believe he said, he was i think he was up front with it because uh
parks and and dave have struck up a bond since coming since he's been coming into the studio
and he asked me he's like where's where's dave i said he's not coming in today he said why not
i said he's got to go to the doctor he goes oh is he okay i said yeah he's not coming in today. He said, why not? I said, he's got to go to the doctor.
He goes, oh, is he okay?
I said, yeah, he's getting what's called a colonoscopy.
And Parks was like, what's that?
And so I explained to Parks the process of a colonoscopy and what Dave's going through today.
So Parks is concerned.
It was funny.
It was a funny conversation.
What's the concern?
He's concerned that Dave is going to have a camera placed inside of him for a little bit.
Well, you know how it works.
To be honest, I didn't really know what they did until you actually mansplained it to Parks.
And then I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense.
Really?
Yeah, I mean, I've never gotten one.
I've never had an issue that has led me to believe that I need to get one.
And most of the time when people bring them up, it's the kind of thing where you don't ask questions. I've never gotten one. I've never had an issue that has led me to believe that I need to get one.
Most of the time when people bring them up, it's the kind of thing where you don't ask questions.
Okay. Yeah.
But it makes total sense.
I just know about them because me and my parents have gotten them. Just check out the insides, make sure everything is in working order and all that.
But yeah. Yeah, camera.
Well, I want to give a special shout-out to Dave's colon.
Yeah.
We're hoping it comes back with a clean bill of health.
Yes.
Colon Bartolo for the day.
Brett Merriman.
Dylan, congratulations on the intro.
I was excited for you, man.
I appreciate you.
Thank you.
Will's got just an all-time Will outfit on today, and I don't even know what to call it.
It's a quarter zip, but the zipper is on your shoulder.
Yeah, it's a training top.
It's a shoulder zip.
It's a training top.
This isn't actually for this podcast.
This is for a podcast that you guys might have heard of.
It's called Too Much Dip.
Yes.
Yeah, and so I will be making my Too Much Dip premiere today for about, I'd say, 10 to 12 minutes.
Talking footy.
Talking a little football.
Let's go.
Everyone's talking about how everyone wants to talk football.
So I was like, all right, let me come on and talk football.
I think we're talking about a different kind of football.
People are going to be really upset when they tune in for the first post-NFL Sunday.
Too Much Dip.
And our first segment is about soccer.
Yeah, because I've got time constraints today, so I've got to get out of here.
segment is about soccer yeah because i've got time constraints today so i got to get out of here i i walked in i thought it was a uh not a not an f1 like a motorcycle uh yeah like a
dirt bike kind of so this top is very old it's in mint condition oh you like ebay'd this thing
no i i bought this in 2007 i saw a player wearing it. It's an England training top is what they call it.
Saw it in 2007 on the internet.
And I was like, you know what?
I kind of want this thing.
And so I bought it, but the only size I had was small.
And I was like, you know what? I could stand to lose some weight.
I've been pounding beers for the last couple years.
And so I never lost
the weight to actually wear it.
And I told Sally when I started Pelotoning,
I was like, if I can fit into that England
top at any point, then it's going to be a win.
Sure enough.
Look at me.
Dude.
I might as well be playing for England at this point.
Well, I'm not.
I'm American.
Is that Umbro?
Yeah, it's Umbro.
Oh, that's sick.
Umbro.
That's sick.
You got to go Umbro, dude.
Those Umbro shorts used to hit so hard with like the diamonds on them back in the day.
Just the little checkerboards yes
i just can't get behind how prominently displayed the uh sponsor is there the nationwide insurance
you don't like repping nationwide insurance when you wear clothing dude i told you that one time i
was in seattle and everyone was walking around in seattle with like these lime green kit. Is that what you call it? A soccer?
I mean, yeah.
You can just say it.
That's pretty good.
And it said Xbox huge across their chest.
I was like, is there some kind of gaming convention in town?
I had no idea what was going on.
I didn't know that was the soccer team.
It just said Xbox across their chest.
I would be lying if I said that the sponsor on jerseys
did not affect whether or not I buy merchandise.
Well, you need a tight sponsor.
Yeah, Man United has been sponsored by Chevrolet for the last however many years,
and I'm not going to buy a jersey that has a big Chevy logo on it.
What's wrong with Chevy?
There's nothing wrong with Chevy, but it's just not very cool.
It's a car.
Yeah, like, it's not cool.
It's every man's car.
The coolest one was when Newcastle had their jerseys,
and they were sponsored by Newcastle Beer.
Yeah.
And another cool one was, like, Liverpool was sponsored by Carlsberg Beer.
And, like, those are just good-looking beer sponsors.
I'm much more likely to wear, like, something like that as opposed to,
like, if Circling Back FC had a sponsor, like, I'd wear the Miller High Life logo,
no questions asked, because it's tight.
Should we just sponsor somebody who's, like, beer lead team? I do think we should pick up, like, a young golfer or High Life logo, no questions asked. Because it's tight. Should we just sponsor somebody who's like beer lead team?
I do think we should pick up like a young golfer or something.
We have a golfer.
We have a guy.
Oh, he DM'd me, by the way.
Come on.
Yeah.
He's on the Latin American tour.
Do you know him?
You have a smirk on your face.
No, I don't.
What's his...
His name, Garrett.
Garrett.
Garrett May.
Shouts to Garrett May. He DM'd me Garrett May he's the image like dude listen to you
guys all the time love love love the pods hell yeah like he said pods plural link listens to
numerous um I followed him back I said dude let's go let's go get let's go get some wins on tour
man we we gotta shoot him like a package or something we'll get we'll get a hat his way
don't like a like a tracking package or something?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, I see what you mean.
No, I got him.
Man, I saw you kind of followed us.
I was like, man, that's cool.
That's our first,
call them professional?
Sure.
I want to sponsor just like a little league team or something.
Dude, what about Parks?
I think it'd be just tight to like just buy jerseys for like a team
and just have them just have have the Wash logo on them.
When I was a kid, my mom's company, they sponsored my Little League team.
I think we need to do it.
It's tight.
I think we need to do it.
I think every kid out there can remember their Little League sponsor.
When I was 12, Shouts to Crew's holiday.
I didn't play Little League, so I don't have that memory.
You have a soccer team?
Yeah, but we didn't have sponsors on our soccer team.
You were like the Jaguars or something.
They didn't really give us jerseys.
They just gave us t-shirts that were certain colors that had the logo of the actual soccer league on it.
So we didn't have any tight sponsors.
That's too bad.
I know.
I know.
I'm not going to complain.
Growing up, all I wanted to be was a sponsored skier or sponsored snowboarder or something like that.
I always thought it would be the sickest thing in the world.
And now that we have sponsors for that.
I thought about this the other day.
I was like, now that we have sponsors on Circling Back and I get free stuff, I'm totally taking it for granted.
You're a sponsored athlete, basically.
Yeah, I always thought it would be really tight to get all this sponsored stuff.
And now that we're getting it, I'm like, oh, my God.
I need to be more grateful.
I put on some socks yesterday, some features.
I was like, these are some of the nicest socks i own and the fact that i don't like i wasn't pumped
when i got them in the mail is just stupid and like i now wear them all the time like i love them
yeah many times i've been like uh i've looked in the mirror and realized that pretty much every
article of clothing that i had on at that moment was from a sponsor. It just showed up at my doorstep one day.
Oh, yeah.
People would be like, hey, man, I really like that shirt.
Like, oh, thanks.
They sponsor us.
I'm like, actually, my whole outfit, really.
I'll show up to Kaiser wearing a Roback hat, a Roback shirt, bird dogs.
Yeah.
And then I'll play with a bunch of Callaway clubs that we got through our deals with doing
Callaway stuff at Grand X.
And I'm like, I'm just an absolute brand whore.
But at the same time, I wouldn't be wearing this stuff on my off time
if I didn't love it.
That's right.
Shout out Stella 20.
Stella 20.
For rowback.
20%.
That's awesome.
Because you can do some damage in rowback, man.
Both on the course and...
Both, yeah.
Both.
Both places. Definitely both. you did uh a bidet more on that more on that can we get some programming notes out of the way yes
first and foremost we are we've never been closer to circling back pod on instagram being at 10,000
followers we can get there today we're like 10 away we? Yeah, I'm about to just screenshot the feed
and then just put it in the Sunday Scary Story
and just say, go follow this,
because then we'll get 10K.
Oh, we're 14 away.
Yeah, we're getting there today.
Today.
Mark my words.
We're swiping up tomorrow.
I will resign if we don't get it by today.
I thought we'd give the 10,000th follower something,
but then people just start unfollowing,
trying to be the 10,000th follower. Yeah, that's what just start unfollowing, trying to be the 10,000th follower.
Yeah, that's what they do.
So we're not going to do it.
We're at like 1056 or something like that we'll have to do.
Yeah, any follower from 10,000 on would do a raffle,
and then you get a free t-shirt.
Exactly.
Don't unfollow us.
Keep an eye on us.
Oh, if we find out you unfollowed,
if I see your name at the top of the list when we get 10K,
and I've seen you interact with us before,
oh, it's over for you.
You might get exposed. You don't want that smoke
from Will. Not at all. Also,
leave a review and five-star rating.
They always help us and we enjoy reading them. Sometimes
it's just a little gas up for us, but it also helps
us on the chart. Every Tuesday and
Friday, Patreon. Tomorrow
we're doing Worst Of. Worst Of at WatchMedia.com
if you got some stories. I would love to
hear them. We've already got some good ones for the week, but as always, I will always accept them. You can alsoOf at WatchMedia.com if you've got some stories. I would love to hear them. We've already got some
good ones for the week,
but as always,
I will always accept them.
You can also go to
WatchMedia.com,
click on the Worst Of logo,
submit it right through there.
Very easy.
Spooky season is happening
before you even know it.
My favorite season
is spooky season.
Spooky season is upon us.
Yeah, we're closer
than you might think.
Yep.
Are we waiting for October?
Maybe not.
Probably not. We're probably going to kick it off a little think. Yep. Are we waiting for October? Maybe not. Probably not.
We're probably going to kick it off a little early.
Yeah.
I've been eating pumpkin everything, so I'm not really trying to delay the spooky season either.
I spent way too much money on fall beers over the weekend.
When you sent the picture of your fridge with just 100 shipyards in it, I was like, let's go. I also, yesterday, two days ago, I got some Samuel Smith's Nut Brown.
I've never had one.
And I got some Spotten Oktoberfest.
Oh, that's a good one.
Those are all currently in my fridge.
Dude, you're local.
I will give you a Nut Brown Ale.
It is, to me, for my money, there's not a more perfect fall beer.
Besides Miller High Life. Besides Miller, well, of course. Miller High a more perfect fall beer. Besides Miller High Life.
Well, of course. Miller High Life's an everyday beer.
That's a year round. That's a different category.
24-7, 365. It's a different category.
Well, not 24-7, but like 365.
I know what you're saying.
Spooky at WatchMedia.com if you've got any
spooky stories, tales, just maybe
something weird happened to you. Spooky at
WatchMedia.com. Dave's going to be trudging through
those.
Happy Hour Live Wednesday.
Watch Media on YouTube.
Go subscribe.
If you're not familiar, we put every episode that we record in here on YouTube.
Do people not realize this?
If you want to see our handsome faces, you are able to do that.
Scary's even put one up yesterday with Kayla.
Yeah, saw that.
Dude, we're just doing video now.
Speaking of video, Twitch.
Twitch.tv slash watchmedia every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday
around 12, 15, around lunchtime.
Let's just put it that way.
Is it true you're dropping in tomorrow?
Or Wednesday?
Wait, wait, no, tomorrow.
Yes.
We're going to download Tony Hawk today
on the box,
and I'm going to have to take a little time
getting used to the controller of an Xbox,
to be honest. But I have to say... That time getting used to the controller of an Xbox, to be honest.
But I have to say.
That's my excuse, too, when I play.
I'm very happy with where my performance is on PS4 right now.
I've been playing online, and I've been winning competitions against people who are putting up big numbers.
So I'm feeling pretty good right now.
I'm more interested in you dropping into Verdansk.
Oh, Verdansk as well. Sorry.
It says Will Warzone.
When it says drop in.
Oh, you're thinking half pipe.
Yeah, I'm thinking high.
Oh, I see.
You get it?
No, that makes a lot of sense.
But it says Will Warzone on here.
So I'm like, you're parachuting in.
I'll say that.
I'll parachute in.
Okay.
Just to be clear, I have played twice Call of Duty.
Twice.
I think it's fun for people to watch us suck at these games,
but also if we were to perform well,
I think that might also be beneficial for everybody.
Yeah, hard to say.
We were playing Mario Kart last week, and I was like,
man, I'm so bad, and we're so bad at this,
I don't know if people are going to keep watching.
I got concerned.
I feel like I was pretty good.
Dude, though...
I was kind of putting a hurt on you guys.
My last couple were just so ugly.
I was like, man, this is...
This is not...
You're not a drifter.
Not it.
It is...
Yeah, drift, dude.
That game may be the best step up from Super Nintendo to an N64 game there is.
To go from, like, the terrible graphics to the N64 game.
I remember hating it. N64 when it came out but i think i was just riding way too hard for the super nintendo version
i did it but i completely agree i did it i mean it's it changes the entire dynamic it's great
yeah it's great hey do you guys want to recap this weekend and fun presented by miller highlife
uh yeah at this point you know about Miller High Life.
High Life!
It brings pride to the simple things in life.
I mean, that was probably my single favorite Super Bowl commercial ever.
It's when they just did the,
High Life!
It was just a second long.
Perfect commercial.
They had a pretty good run with that guy doing the High Life stuff
where he would go into the stores, the C stores.
Oh, just incredible.
Oh, so good.
It's an unpretentious quality beer with a refreshing champagne-like tiny bubbles
that just fill your mouth and taste so good.
It's just wonderful.
They also have an iconic glass bottle that's accessible to all.
You've got to celebrate the wins of everyday life with Miller High Life,
big or small.
There are moments worth celebrating every day.
Celebrate with Miller High Life, the champagne of beers,
a high-quality beer within everyone's reach.
Not going to lie, yesterday during the Lions game,
thought I'd have an honest working man's beer.
You know what I went in my fridge and got?
One Miller High Life.
Look at you.
I bet you that hit.
I thought about pouring it into a glass because I got some new beer glasses
that I've been taking test runs with, but the can just looks so tasty that I just tossed that thing on a coaster and called it a day.
So happy about that.
They've also been around since 1903.
Started on New Year's Eve.
No one is starting companies on New Year's Eve.
People are out just partying usually.
I guess it's much smarter to start your beer company on New Year's Eve than it is on New Year's Day, though.
You've got to think sales are a little higher on New Year's Eve than it is on New Year's Day, though. You've got to think sales are a little higher on New Year's Eve.
I think it's the
second best
selling beer night of the year.
Next to what? Next to the night before Thanksgiving.
I was going to say, the night before Thanksgiving is notoriously
the biggest bar night. Everyone turns up that night.
It's the best, dude. It's the best.
The worst part about being deeper into your 30s
is that you can't just go out and let it
rip like you used to on the night before Thanksgiving.
I think I'm right on the edge.
No, you're good.
26?
You're good, dude.
Live it up.
If you're in the tokes for Thanksgiving, you've got to be going.
Well, you're always 17 in your hometown.
That means you cannot have a Miller High Life.
That's true.
Either way, Miller High Life, the champagne of beers, a quality beer within everyone's reach.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Dylan,
what'd that boy do this weekend?
This weekend for me was
about sports, really.
I watched a lot of it.
Some good, some bad.
Didn't have parks until
Sunday, which was yesterday, and
we got a nice swim off.
We had a great day. but man I wish I could
say I did some awesome things over the weekend but I really just didn't do much went to the gym
hung out put up big boy weight dude you just had a dude weekend I put up a medium boy weight you
know kind of how I do okay just you know um didn't you say you're kind of plateauing
oh i've been plateauing for the past five years yeah you were doing the thing this weekend that
i've done numerous times where you're dropping like certain hints in the group text looking for
a bite yeah man look i'm i need to find some new friends i think no no no no dude you were up
against it this weekend man it was tough everyone
was doing shit i sent a text saying man matt i haven't been to matzo rancho in a long time and
will's responded oh i'm here now oh okay i'm sorry i didn't i'm sorry i didn't invite you to the
family dinner with sally's family and then the next night i said man pine house sounds really
good and it was just crickets i'm not gonna lie to lie. Had you done one more follow-up text about Pine House,
there was pretty much 100% chance I would have caved.
And you know what I did?
I went and picked up Pine House.
I had my own little Pine House party at the Crip.
You had a solo pizza party?
You guys suck.
I know you're gone.
I was gone, yeah.
You still, I'm group, by association, you suck as well.
That's fair.
If Brett was a real one, he would have responded to your Pine House thing saying, oh, man, that sounds great.
I'm at the ranch, though.
I can't do it.
Yeah.
If I was in town, I would be there with you, Dylan.
That would have been nice.
I just need to find new friends, friends who are willing and wanting to hang out with me.
Because right now I don't have any of those.
I didn't get your text.
I didn't know you wanted to do Pine House.
Let's do some Nutty Bees this week.
Don't call them Nutty Bees, please.
Don't call them Nutty Bees.
Nutty Bees is sticking.
I'll do a Nutty Bee with you.
Let's go.
Yeah, you know, I just want to have fun with my friends
and it's just weird that they don't want the same thing.
Will was saying he just wanted to drink tequila with my friends all morning.
It was weird.
I want to drink tequila with my friends.
I got friends in low places, though.
Yeah, that's pretty much it, man.
Okay.
You know what?
I did enjoy myself.
Time to myself was fine.
You had a me weekend. I did. Yeah. And then our parks linked up enjoy myself. I timed myself. It was fine. You had a me weekend.
I did.
And then our parks linked up Sunday morning.
We chilled hard.
Had a good day.
Chilled and billed?
Yes.
Lincoln chilled?
Mm-hmm.
Netflix and billed?
Yeah.
Now he's in there.
He's doing virtual kindergarten with KJ.
How did you not do anything with the photo of him doing kindergarten, like, day one,
where he's got his feet kicked up on the desk like he's an exec about to fight somebody?
Yeah, I didn't know what to do with that.
It's such a good picture.
I'll post it.
Like, dude, Parks is just chilling with the screen in front of him,
but he's got both feet up on the desk.
Does he have shoes on?
No.
He never wears shoes inside.
That first thing he does when he walks in a room is just pop his shoes off.
It's pretty funny.
Dude, hell yeah.
Yeah.
First day of kindergarten, it's virtual, so he's on his iPad.
He's at his mom's, and he's got his feet propped up on his desk wearing a T-Rex mask.
It's not even like a COVID mask.
It's just a dinosaur mask.
It's pretty funny.
I would love to see just a collection of the fits that his class is getting off
when they're just going from home.
Yeah, yeah.
His poor teacher.
I heard him in there earlier.
She accidentally made one of the kids a host of the Zoom call.
Oh, no.
I don't know how it happened.
She was trying to walk this five-year-old through,
like granting her hosting powers back.
It was just a total mess.
He's like, I'm five.
What do you want me to do?
I love that.
That's perfect.
That's my weekend in fun.
We'll get you there.
Well, we'll see.
What did you get into this weekend, Brett?
A lot, to say the least.
We went out to the ranch,
shot to minority owner Klein.
We had a blast.
Long story short, we had a blast.
It's one of those weekends where,
as you get older,
you get better at weekend trips with your friends
because everybody kind of has,
I guess, more money so that you can get better toys and better food options.
And so we were just eating large.
I made the New York Times acclaimed world famous buffalo chicken dip for Friday.
Wow.
That went real hard.
Then we did some tacos.
Klein's buddy, Andrew, shots to him.
Tearing up the grill.
Got some fishing in.
Finally found that bass I was looking for, Dylan.
Pick?
No, no pick.
Just catch and release.
Shaking my head.
How do you not get a pick with the bass, dude?
I thought about it.
I was solo, though, because everybody else wanted to do fun stuff.
Yeah, shouts to Taylor was out there, too.
He's a good fisherman.
He was walking the whole perimeter out there.
We got some Polaris time in.
Rode around in that.
Then we got some shotguns off on Saturday.
I was only a target boy back in the day.
I've never shot clay pigeons before.
Really?
I only listen to it.
You got a sniper in your midst here, Dylan.
We'll see.
Klein said he would call in this week
and vouch for my abilities.
We'll see about it.
So that was a blast.
You ever been dove hunting?
No.
Okay.
No, I've never.
I would, though.
I don't think I could do deer hunting.
I'd feel too bad. But doves, man, I just like. That's how I feel. I think I've never. I would, though. I don't think I could do deer hunting. I'd feel too bad.
But doves, man, I just like.
That's how I feel.
And I think I've said this before.
When it comes to hunting big game, I don't think I'll ever be skilled enough to get a kill shot that just does well.
So I'm going to end up having to put that thing out of its misery.
And I don't have the balls to do that.
I told you the first hog I ever killed story.
I don't want to relive anything like that.
Absolutely brutal.
Yeah. But the ranch, there'sive anything like that. Absolutely brutal. Yeah.
But the ranch, there's some wildlife out there now, man.
It's great outdoors, man.
Oh, yeah.
There's a little bit of a-
What'd you see?
I didn't see anything.
A little hog problem out there.
A pretty good yellow jacket problem under the deck.
So Klein killed about 60 yellow jackets this weekend.
Did you hear any coyotes or anything like that?
I tried.
Yeah, I mean, we heard them.
Oh, did you howl?
I didn't howl.
No, I don't want that kind of embarrassment on me.
He's got a really bad howl.
You should have taken a really long walk in the morning and just been like,
no, I just need to get away for a few and just practice your howls from afar.
And just really let it rip one night?
There's no real good situation to practice your howl.
There's also really no good situation to build a fire with wet firewood. No i was trying man i was really trying it doesn't work we got it we got it there
but it's one of those things where everybody's like oh good good job with the fire guys it's like
we've been working on this for an hour relax i have nothing to work with here
dude building a fire for a group stressful because if it goes bad it's all on you and everyone's
making fun of you and it's really easy to poke fun at the people making a fire when a group is stressful because if it goes bad it's all on you and everyone's making fun of you
it's really easy to poke fun at the people making a fire
when they're not the ones doing it
I know a trick that works every time
with wet firewood?
it's tough with wet firewood
I'd rather not share
it's my little secret
I'll tell you off air
thank you, appreciate that
pour some tannerite in
no tannerite in. No.
No tannerite.
Are you serious?
Huh?
Do you actually have a cool trick?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Good to know.
Learned it in Mexico.
Ah, Mexico. Ah, Mexico.
Mm-hmm.
But it was fun.
They have a cool little great room to watch football in.
That makes sense based on who owns the ranch?
Yeah. Yeah. It does. It does make sense. little great room to watch football in and uh that makes sense based on who owns the ranch yeah
yeah um it does it does make sense and uh so we watched touches longhorns whoop up on utep
man i didn't watch that game because i don't have longhorn network you don't
nope youtube tv does not have it to be honest man had i known that i would have invited you over
i had i was looking up like people would post clips of
it on Twitter dude I'm sorry honestly I would have had you over had I known that you couldn't
have watched I mean we turned it off after the first half because I legit started feeling bad
for UTEP but overall I mean we we tracked the entire game man I'm sorry yeah I just want some
friendship really from anybody I'll take anybody at this point.
Even Randy.
Actually, never mind.
Nah, dude.
I'm not that desperate.
Oh, I'll get to Randy in a sec.
I almost had to drive to Lavaca Street and beat the piss out of Randy yesterday.
Why?
So my weekend in fun.
To be honest, I didn't have that fun of a weekend.
I did, I guess, fun things.
But like Dylan, it was very sports-driven.
We had a family dinner with Sally's family at Matt's El Rancho. People are talking, people are wondering if I did
fajitas solo at the table. Yeah, I did. I did. We had that, that really good waiter, you know,
the goat waiter with all the rings. Oh yeah. The way that he can memorize margarita orders is
something I've never seen before. I've a waiter, and I had a rule that if
it was over three people at the table, I would write everything down so I wouldn't mess it up.
The man does not write anything down, and he has never once gotten something wrong for me.
Okay. While that is cool, and I appreciate when people are able to do that,
it drives me up the wall when waiters don't write down.
But dude, he's the GOAT. He is the GOAT.
Okay, I get it, but it's so frustrating to me.
I've had waiters mess up my order because they try to show off and memorize the whole
tables.
Just write it down.
The trick isn't that cool.
Has Joe ever messed up your order?
I don't know.
Probably not.
No, he hasn't.
He hasn't.
Look, like I said, it's cool, and if you can pull it off, then I'm impressed.
But I would much rather you just play it safe and get my order 100% right.
Joe knows how to do it, dog.
It really irritates me.
Come on.
So I went there.
I sizzled solo.
You know what it is.
I had to.
Solo sizzle.
Yep.
That sounds real good, man.
We're getting there.
I was pretty happy.
Last time I went to Matt's, I believe, was in February.
I've been twice COVID.
Yeah.
Pretty safe, honestly.
I'm ready.
It really is.
Everything's spaced out.
If you're eating outside, you can't even hear the table next to you.
Yeah, I'd probably jump on an invitation to go just from anybody.
Maybe we can link and build.
Anybody but Randy.
And then, yeah, I mean, EPL started up on Saturday.
So Saturday was one of those days when I realized that if I wanted to,
I could sit on the couch from 7 in the morning until I literally fell asleep
for the night and never stopped watching sports.
Between F1, EPL, college football, and NFL,
I could sit there for the entire day and not have to worry
about a damn thing.
And what did I do?
I did exactly that.
Atta boy.
There he is.
Sally went to the store and she bought about $200 worth of pumpkin products.
What is it?
I noticed you tweet about this or something like that.
What does this mean?
Candles or like food?
Food, dude.
Food.
We have pumpkin Pop-Tarts.
We have pumpkin mini ice cream cones. We have pumpkin pop tarts we have pumpkin mini ice cream cones we have pumpkin bread we have
pumpkin just like literally everything our entire fridge is filled with pumpkin stuff and i weighed
myself this morning i gained four pounds this weekend no shit no shit i gained four pounds
this weekend and it it's because i ate all of this stuff the entire weekend. But I also worked out harder than I've worked out in a long time.
I set a PR on Saturday for my Peloton.
Look at you.
And I'm still just putting up, like, fat weight.
Are you putting up medium boy weights yet, like free weights?
What those arms do.
No, these arms aren't doing much, man.
These arms aren't doing much.
That's next, though.
That's the next thing.
I've realized that I've gotten my body to the point that I can't really do much else with it on the Peloton outside of maintain,
so I've got to start just shredding, shredding.
I texted you asking for some gym lessons, but you didn't respond.
Maybe you're not getting my text.
That's probably why you didn't get my text about going to Pine House on Saturday.
Don't do this to me right now.
Whatever.
It's not okay.
Dude.
And then we capped it all off last night with cherry on top.
Two-hour Love Island. Ooh. hour love island oh just killing it just killing it i just in yellowstone last night i did too dylan and i have to say i'm getting further and further out on this show the more
i watch it i can't take him seriously i believe i'm maybe six episodes into season two you and
i are going at the exact same pace yeah jamie is about to get just absolutely skewered by his old man about the interview.
Jamie is like if Schmidt wasn't funny and actually just grew up on a ranch with a dad who hates him.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, but that's it.
It was a fun weekend.
Nothing too crazy. Nothing too crazy. I needed But that's it. Those were fun weekends. Nothing too crazy.
Nothing too crazy.
I needed some downtime this weekend.
There you go.
Felt good.
My man.
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That's why I almost introduced you before Dylan today because I was like,
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Yeah, I mean, you see the watch?
Oh, I see the watch.
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I have the Jet Black.
Oh, yeah, you do?
It is super tight.
It looks tight on you.
I can't pull it off.
Why not?
You've never tried, man?
No.
I'm just, it's not my, I don't think it's my style.
Whatever, dude.
But it looks tight on you?
No, I think you have the appropriate watch.
I think I do, too.
For his tone?
Yeah, I think you should be happy with that.
I'm ecstatic with it.
If you wore an all black watch, like, it might make your skin look more translucent.
That's the problem, yeah.
God, this matte black one is mean-looking in the best way.
Oh, oh.
Did the dog tell.
Can we talk about a friend of the pod real quick who had kind of a tough weekend?
Yeah, shouts to our boy Colton, who's going through it right now, it looks like.
I mean, Colton, fam, what are you doing?
Many people will notice that we launched our podcast with with a colton interview which no one's doing this is still alleged right
yes everything we're about to say is alleged yes colton got a restraining order placed on him by
uh his his ex-fiance cassie who i never really thought liked him in the first place did they
get engaged i think they got engaged i engaged? I think they got engaged.
I think they got engaged and just took forever.
Maybe they weren't.
Can someone fact check this for me?
They were engaged.
Okay.
Okay.
And now there are claims that he was placing a tracking device on her car, sending harassing texts.
Ugh.
I mean, if you're sending texts, like, I mean, I haven't seen the content of these texts.
You've got to take texts with a grain of salt during a breakup.
People are going to be texting rapidly.
Yeah, you're heartbroken and you're going through some weird, you know, heavy shit.
And far off texts, okay.
Again, we haven't seen the text, so I don't know what they've said.
But until I see the text, I'm not going to put too much stock in the text.
I've had some crazy conversations via text when relationships are ending.
If the tracking device on the vehicle part is accurate,
fam, you can't do that.
What are you doing, dog? Yeah, that's not good.
That's not a good look.
That is stalking.
That is stalking.
What, Brett? Say it, bitch.
I feel like in watching
Cold and Season,
something about this
kind of checks out for me. i don't want to do our boy
like that no but i i'm not going to dispute you i just want to know why he well he just never had
a girlfriend right this is like his first are you saying he's a simp yeah well i think he did
that's the thing he didn't even make it 10 days into no simp september before he got a restraining
order put on him and for that i'm not going to stand, but, like, I'm going to say, like, dude, I get it.
Like, if Sally broke up with me, like, I'd probably be called a simp because I'd be, like, sending her texts and probably tracking her car and stuff.
You'd be tracking her car, her whereabouts.
Like, come on.
Where are you going?
I got her on Fine Friends.
Like, I'm a simp.
Can I get you on Fine Friends, Dylan?
I'm sure you would never check it.
Dude, I check it all the time.
Where's Dylan?
I check it every Friday to see if my buddies are getting into anything anywhere cool.
Do I?
Does it already come on your phone?
You have to.
What?
Ew.
Oh, come on.
Oh, the app?
Yeah, the app.
Oh, yeah.
I want to track my friends.
Dude, it's fun. That was the only reason I had Snapchat for, the app? Yeah, the app. Oh, yeah. I want to track my friends. Dude, it's fun.
That was the only reason I had Snapchat for as long as I did.
I liked to pull up that map and see who was where.
And then people started hiding themselves in there.
I was like, there's no point in having this app anymore.
One night, I think you went out and you stayed at your sister's house.
And I woke up on Snapchat that morning and I saw where Dylan was.
And I was just like, ooh, Dylan, let's do it.
Oh, man, come on.
I really thought Dylan was killing it.
And then I waited like four months to bring it up to you.
And then you were like, oh, I was, I think I was staying at my sister's house.
And I was like, oh, that makes sense.
You like completely diminished it without like feeling bad about it all.
And I was like, yeah.
That's funny.
That's okay.
I feel like your sister in San Marcos has a tight lawn tight lawn yeah like you've posted a picture with you in parts
from from there before yeah I'm like damn that's a that's a well yeah they actually they live on
it's a corn a lot and the actual like piece next to them is owned by like the city I guess but they
have access like it's theirs and no one's gonna on it. So they kind of have, like, a double lawn.
It's pretty cool.
Hell yeah.
Pretty cool.
Dude, shut up the lawn.
What you got?
Nothing.
I was just thinking about how, like,
I never really thought Cassie liked him in the first place.
Oh, that was, like, the biggest no-brainer of all time.
Oh, that was kind of obvious.
Yeah.
And so, like, are we really that surprised that they, one,
broke up, and, two, that, like, it means more to him than her?
Them breaking up was the lock of the century to me.
I didn't see this coming, though.
You've been saying that word a lot today.
I'm not trying to be dirty.
I understand.
Sometimes that word just works in regular conversation.
It does.
You know what I mean?
It is a popular word.
Would you guys like a chaser for this bad news regarding him?
Because we've got an absolute king in the Bachelor universe who got engaged this weekend.
Really?
Kenny.
Remember Kenny?
Wrestler Kenny?
Danger Zone?
Oh, yeah.
He had the daughter?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our man's Kenny.
Oh, absolutely.
He dropped to a knee?
Yep.
Go Kenny.
And you know where he did it?
On a pontoon boat. He had to do it to him. I've always said there's not a more romantic place than on a knee? Yep. Go Kenny. And you know where he did it? On a pontoon boat.
He had to do it to him.
I've always said there's not a more romantic place than on a pontoon boat.
Always have said that.
Good for Kenny, man.
That's great.
Yep.
I kind of wish I had Kenny popping up on my Discover feed,
my reels every time instead of, I don't know, McKenzie?
Or Hannah Brown?
I popped open the reels at the ranch this weekend.
It's hornier than ever.
Absolutely hornier than ever.
Mine are going back.
I got a non-horny one this morning.
I was really excited about it.
Yeah, it was like some overweight dude doing a funny dance in front of his friends.
It was pretty funny.
And then I refreshed it, and it was back to just T&A.
I guarantee, I guarantee, I'm on my phone right now if i click into the reels i guarantee it's a
bachelor person it's undefeated undefeated oh hey what you get some kind of mommy yep sure he sure
did fucking mckenna get your website up And stop making so many reels Does she
Still nothing on that front?
I'm gonna email her
And just be like
Hey I'm pretty good at Squarespace
Can I help you?
Here we go
Yep
Oh I got that one this weekend
I mean I'm not mad about it
It's just
It's just there
Oh
Will
Brett's breaking news
Guess whose blog is up?
No
No it's not
She finally did it.
She did.
Oh, yeah.
Allkindsofkind.com.
She waited for her 15 minutes of fame to expire before getting her blog up.
Makes sense.
It would appear she's a part of a blogging network, so it's not hers.
But she's a part of a website is what you're saying.
Yes, absolutely.
I still don't believe that this is all her doing.
There's no way that she got down to business and did this.
So the Bachelorette starts next month, correct?
Correct.
Oh, man.
I'm so pumped.
There's going to be too much to watch.
Hop on Patreon.
Is it weird to anyone else that they're just promoting it right now with Claire?
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And not Tayshia, considering everyone knows about that spoiler? Is it weird to anyone else that they're just promoting it right now with Claire?
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
And not Tayshia, considering everyone knows about that spoiler?
I don't know.
Or at least drop a teaser that something happens.
Yeah, I guess they haven't actually dropped.
They've only done the really bad promotion where they're comparing it to that movie.
What's the movie where the teacher dates the younger guy?
Graduation Day or something like that? No, The Graduate.
The Graduate.
They're only doing that promotion with a picture, so maybe when they actually release a highlight
reel.
Tayshia is back on Instagram, which I think means that maybe her stuff is done, or they
gave her a break and she could use a phone.
She posted an Instagram story.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm pumped for Bachelor bachelor i hate saying this i'll take anything that gets me off love island at this point i'm addicted i i'm watching it
constantly the american version has been absolutely great but i need a one night a week or i guess two
nights a week when they really hate us but i could i could use the bachelor back i just hope that
love island doesn't bleed into Bachelor season.
It could be ugly for your boy.
Just watching trash every day, all day.
Bachelor's so entertaining.
Like, it's trash, but it's great trash.
I am psyched for it.
I don't know.
I don't love Claire to begin with, but I think it's going to be.
It may be the most dramatic season ever.
They're throwing us a curveball.
Allegedly.
What do you mean?
It's not allegedly.
I mean, it's just taken over.
Right.
Yeah.
But like, has it been officially official?
I think so.
I'm also getting word that Victoria F.
was on the Vile Files, Nick Vile's podcast,
which I might have to listen to because these are two of the most polarizing people in actual history.
I might have hooked up after that one.
They might have hooked up after that one.
Yeah, they probably did.
She just broke up with Chris Soules.
Good.
She broke up with that guy?
Yeah.
The guy who murdered someone?
Yes, the guy who killed someone.
Yeah.
Because apparently she didn't want to move to Iowa, which I get it.
Oh, no. She lives in L.A., I think. Who killed someone. Yeah. Because apparently she didn't want to move to Iowa, which I get it. Come on now.
She lives in L.A., I think.
L.A. to Iowa, that's culture shock, man.
L.A.
L.A.?
Asking someone to live on a farm is tough.
I agree.
I think we have some good backers from the state of Iowa, though.
No, I have no problem with the state of Iowa.
I'm saying to go from the big city to a farm in iowa is a is a culture
shock no doubt shouts to casey's breakfast pizza sure it's a gas station pizza but it's really good
okay victoria the only reason victoria was on this is from the podcast i'm reading the only reason
she was on the bachelor is because she got denied first by love island really wow as as a of both, I will say she would have been absolutely incredible on Love Island.
But, you know, to each their own, whatever.
Did Chris Soules ever do any jail time?
I don't know.
He probably got something reduced or something.
I mean, it was manslaughter technically, right?
And I think he was able to not be charged for the intoxicated part because he fled.
Oh, my God.
And so by the time they got to him, his BAC had leveled out again.
Or something.
Look, this is all.
I don't know exactly.
Chris, what are you doing, Chris?
I don't know exactly what I'm talking about, but I think it was something like that.
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I just pulled up a TMZ article about the Chris Soules thing.
I don't know if we're still –
No, hop in.
We need to close this chapter.
I would like to issue somewhat of a correction.
I'm just going to – according to what I read here,
there's no indication he had been drinking.
After the accident, he waited for the ambulance to show up,
but then left before the cops showed up.
He had just bought alcohol,
but no indication that he had actually consumed it yet
when he was brought into custody.
Okay.
He agreed to a plea deal, got two years probation.
I've told you my story about a kind of similar situation.
I didn't kill anybody.
Good.
Driving home from a party one time,
I had three beers over the course of a hockey game that I was watching at a buddy's house.
So that's one beer per period.
Can't confirm.
I had pretty much promised myself that I was under the legal limit.
And I was.
And when I went outside to go drive home, I saw that the road had been completely coated in ice. I mean, it was a
straight up one of the worst ice storms I've ever seen. We knew it was going to be bad outside,
but I didn't realize how bad it would be. People could barely walk to their cars.
So I had a very short drive. I had probably two miles to go drive, hopped in the car,
So I had a very short drive.
I had probably two miles to go drive.
Hopped in the car, drove five miles an hour down a slight decline.
Car just wouldn't turn around the turn.
Been there.
Went off.
I called the tow truck, and the tow truck was like, hey, man, if there's any damage to your car, I'm going to have to call the cops.
I was like, oh, no, this is not going to be good.
I don't want to involve the cops right now.
But I surveyed the car, and I was like, you know what?
This car doesn't look like it has any damage.
I was about six inches from a telephone pole, but nothing bad had happened.
But I still had this thought in my head.
I was like, Will, like, you, I mean, you were drinking, and you did drive.
But you only had three beers over the span of about three hours.
Like, you should be fine.
Guy showed up.
I was scared out of my mind that he was going to have to call the cops.
He looked at the car, and he goes goes I can't believe this no damage here
wow
he was a real one
and I got to go
and I
he yanked you out?
no I was
I mean I could get out of the car
and everything
but it was just
I mean no
he yanked your car
oh yeah he got it out
oh yeah
but I was so scared
even though I knew I was fine
but I guess I didn't kill anybody
so Chris Soules maybe
he might have had a little more stress
than I had
probably so
he had a tractor yeah I than i had probably so he had
a tractor yeah i knew yeah it was a guy in a tractor right yeah and it gosh shot him off into
a riverbed or something i think he was texting i don't know he's probably firing off a d-pick
or something oh come on can we talk about our friend joe rogan oh rodent yeah Joe Rogan got quote or not Joe Rogan but uh somebody got tweeted
what's his name Tim Kennedy TK one of uh one of Rogan's boys he's in that crew he tweeted on my
podcast with Joe Rogan he offered to moderate a debate between Joe Biden and real Donald Trump
and it would be four hours with no live audience,
just two candidates, cameras,
and their vision of how to move this country forward.
Who wants this?
And as of this morning at 7.43 a.m.,
Donald Trump quote tweeted it and said,
I do.
And I have to say,
I've never been more all in on a political debate
in my entire life.
Is it trash to want this?
No.
I think it would be incredibly interesting.
It's never going to happen.
No.
It would never happen.
There's a 0%...
I think that it would happen if Joe Biden would let it happen.
But there's no way Joe Biden's team would let this happen.
No.
Just sending him to the wolves.
Yeah, Biden would get...
He would get eviscerated.
I don't know which way Joe tends to lean, but...
Rogan? Yeah. I don't know which way Joe tends to lean, but I don't know enough about Joe.
But I don't think it would be beneficial for the Biden campaign.
I mean, I think he would be professional and he would be as neutral as he could be.
I do think he would be able to do that.
But I think he's a Trump guy.
See, I don't listen to enough to know.
My feeling from Joe Rogan is that he's a big personal freedom guy. So when it comes to wearing a mask, I don't listen to enough to know my feeling from joe rogan is that he's a big personal
freedom guy so like when it comes to wearing a mask i don't know like yeah he would rather just
not have to do stuff that's the government tells you to do but truly i'm not really sure dave would
probably know better than any of us i'm not sure i have no clue but it said so rogan said on the
podcast this is how it all went down he said first of all i want no one else in the room just the
three of us and you'd have to stream it live so no one can edit it. And I would want
them in there for, it said for hours. I think there was something lost in communication when
it said for four hours. He said, if they want to do that, they both wanted to come to Austin,
sit down and have a debate. I would a hundred percent do it. He said, but I don't think Biden
can handle it. I think Biden is like, I think he's, I mean, people get mad at me for saying this.
I think there's something wrong and I don't think there's something wrong.
He's just mumbling here.
But he did say, I'm pro-Trump.
So, yeah, I don't think the Biden team is going to let that happen.
You have to think that they would not.
Is Tucker Carlson just sitting there right now just like,
no, please don't let this happen.
Please.
Just in that voice.
I'm Tucker.
He almost sounds like Mickey Mouse.
Does he?
A little bit.
I'm just imagining Joe going down this road with these guys
and then they don't understand some reference he makes
and he's just like, Jamie, can you pull that up real quick?
Are you thinking of that little pipsqueak?
Forgot his name.
Tucker Carlson?
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Are you thinking of someone else?
That other...
What's his name?
That guy who talks really fast.
He's got a high-pitched voice.
Shapiro?
Yeah.
I'm not...
Just Tucker can get...
When he gets talking fast...
Okay.
...and he goes for emphasis,
he gets higher and higher.
Ben Shapiro, is that his name?
Ben Shapiro is the other guy,
yeah.
Old pipsqueak.
He's a pipsqueak.
Yeah.
He's the cut guy.
Have we ever talked about
David Weir on this podcast?
You know who I'm talking about?
David who?
Weir.
Yeah,
shouts to
Northeastern Commencement Speaker
2017.
You're after me.
I don't think we have.
I still get this, dude.
Why?
His hair is always perfect, and he's always in these war-torn countries just doing on-the-ground stuff.
And I'm like, dude, you can't show up to this with perfect hair.
With a perfectly coiffed comb over.
Yeah, he's got the flow coming out the back.
Yeah, it's perfectly combed over.
It's like, dude, there's people dying 10 feet away from you, and you're just showing up there looking like an absolute snack.
There's never a bad time to flex a good head of hair.
That's true.
You know what I mean?
He's got like – like, Brett has the closest thing in here to his hair
just based on –
Shape?
Like DNA and shape, yeah.
But when it comes to the color, you're just a blonde David Muir.
I'll take that.
Have you seen Dr. Sanjay Gupta on CNN?
He's got the flow going now since, like, March started when he was kind of doing a bunch of COVID stuff.
I'm a big Sanjay guy.
Sanjay, he's a snack now.
He's a good-looking dude.
Are we tracking news packages right now?
Yeah, I think we are.
Always happens.
Would Rogan do this from his weird ass studio To own it
I don't
Is he officially here now
Like
Okay
So he's already in that
I heard he was at Pine House
Around 3pm on Saturday
Is that true
Yeah
Wow
I heard he texted you
But you must not have gone through
Wish I would have been there
I heard he's looking for friends
He's on Bumble BFF right now He can't find any friends in austin so dude i need to hop
on bumble bff dude you should do it should we make an ad that's like bumble but for just golfers and
shit so i can't expose who this is but one time i was on bumble b i so i used to do bumble bff
column for pgp way back in the day and so i i knew i needed to download it and figure out what
it was all about and while I was sitting at my desk,
I saw somebody that was in our friend group
who was on Bumble BFF.
And I thought to myself,
I was like, what the hell?
Like, are we not good enough for you?
But then I thought to myself,
you know what, maybe this is just like a setting
and he doesn't actually know that he's on it.
My biology is going to say something like,
look, I just need new friends that want to hang out. No, you need to clarify that like your phone doesn't actually know that he's on it. My bio is just going to say something like, look, I just need new friends that want to hang out.
No, you need to clarify that your phone doesn't work, so you have to do all communication via that.
You're already on Bumble.
Yeah, must have WhatsApp.
Is that what it's called?
What?
WhatsApp?
WhatsApp, yeah.
Must have WhatsApp.
That's how I communicate.
Yeah, okay.
Just put your day one optimized backer.
I'm sure you can get some people that will be friends with you.
Look, I just want to hang out with friends.
That's what my bio is going to say.
God, imagine matching with Joe on Bumble BFF.
Roach?
Yeah, be tight.
Does he get out and do stuff?
Like, are we going to see him?
Dave seems positive that we're going to see him.
Like, Dave is like, yeah, he likes to run trails with his dog.
I'm like, yeah, but none of us run trails with our dogs.
So, like, I don't think we're going to bump into him on a trail.
So we won't see him.
Yeah.
I mean, you're probably right.
He definitely is going to do that.
Those trails are fucking dangerous, man.
People rip down those things in bikes and scooters and unicycles and all kinds of Austin weird shit.
You've got to be on the move.
Just catch me off.
I don't want that smoke.
That's a scene.
There's people walking and there's people going 30 miles an hour.
It's dangerous.
Well, the trail that goes around ladybird lake
i think people that bike on that are just reckless it's so reckless and they bike fast
and they tend to bike in weird shit i know that you're allowed to have a bike on there and i
respect that but like they're cruising and they're like on your loft and like i don't know my lesson
right so i'm about to like throw myself straight into it man slow down out there yeah it's it's
it's like crazy it's people take like they stop
take pictures and they're just right in the middle i'm just worried i'm just worried rosie's
gonna be sitting there one day and i'm gonna go to my left thinking it's right and then all of a
sudden rosie's gonna have to like do cpr on me because i'm just flattened out on the
just what the fuck it is what it is man we have any closing thoughts on this debate?
It's never going to happen, but I'm going to talk about it until it's been actually squashed.
I will tune in if and when it happens.
It won't, but it would be awesome.
Wow, dude.
Thanks.
Thanks for the hope.
It just won't.
Sorry.
You know what is going to happen?
What?
These two Austin women are hoping to build the first ever lab-grown brisket.
Huh.
So it's like, what's the Burger King thing?
What's the meat called?
Invisible meat or some shit?
Impossible.
Impossible burger.
Randy notes.
Yeah, but I think that's actually-
Isn't that just like plant-based?
That's just grown from stuff.
That's plant-based.
It's a plant-based organism. It's a PBO, dude.... Isn't that just like plant-based? That's just grown from stuff. That's plant-based. It's a plant-based organism.
It's a PBO, dude.
I don't think this is plant-based.
So this is different.
No, I...
They're trying to grow, like, meat.
Oh, sorry.
I'll let you explain the article before I jump in erroneously.
Well, that's what it is.
They're going to grow it in a lab.
Yeah, they're growing meat.
We talked about this recently.
We asked if you guys would eat 3D printed.
And I said I would.
But this is different, right?
Yeah, I think this is different.
I think they're actually going to take molecules and shit.
Because, yeah, the 3D print.
I don't know.
The 3D print, they use a meat alternative or some shit.
I don't know.
I have no clue.
But this seems to be.
I just don't know, man man would you eat a lab-grown
brisket yeah of course would you buy one from a store if they like had it and it was cheaper yeah
yeah i mean i think this why not upend the cattle industry i mean if we're assuming it's
like quality and safe to eat and tastes good then yeah have you guys watched the chef's table
barbecue yet no oh yeah oh yeah do i need to yeah you need to at least watch the first episode i Have you guys watched the Chef's Table Barbecue yet? No. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Do I need to?
Yeah.
You need to at least watch the first episode.
I dove into the first episode on Saturday and watched it for the first time.
Tootsie is a real one.
She is.
I think they're closed right now, though.
Yeah, it's kind of weird because I feel like everyone in Austin is talking about how we need to go to Snow's Barbecue.
I mean, I'm at our dog park, and I've heard numerous groups of people talking about this.
Unfortunately, not only are they just open on Saturdays, but they're closed right now.
Yeah.
And part of me is worried that they're never going to open back up.
Well, it's like, I mean, peak popularity with a Netflix special.
You're on the front page.
You're the first episode, And your barbecue place is closed?
And they always, as a chef's table connoisseur,
they always put the first episode of every season as always the one that brings the most heat.
Yeah.
And Tootsie brought it.
Sally ate at Snow's one time but didn't realize
that it was supposed to be a big deal.
When we were watching the episode, she was like,
oh, I've been here.
It's not close.
It's like an hour, right?
Yeah, it's out in Giddings.
Was there this morning? I don't know. I've been here. It's not close. It's like an hour, right? Yeah, it's out in Giddings. Was there this morning?
I don't know.
I've never been to Snow's.
It looks lit.
It looks like something the squad should do.
But like Dave said, he's like, let's just go on like a Tuesday.
Well, they're not open on Tuesdays.
Dave will be waiting until Saturday for a damn brisket.
It's going to be too popular, too packed.
When it opens back up, there were lines pre-Netflix special.
Yeah.
Now it's like, do I want to go stand in line for 11 hours to get brisket?
It's going to be a longer line than Franklin's 100%.
Yeah.
No cap.
No cap?
Oh, God.
Yeah, I want to try.
What, the lab-grown one or Tootsie's?
Tootsie's. I'm just worried about Tootsie's longevity. I What, the lab-grown one or Tootsie's? Tootsie's.
I'm just worried about Tootsie's longevity.
I will try the lab-grown.
Absolutely.
Why not?
Okay.
This is going to be a dumb question.
How do you know it's a brisket when you grow it in the lab?
Can't you just call it a shoulder or a thigh?
Because they're taking actual cells and recreating a brisket from that.
But isn't a brisket just a cut?
Yeah.
It's just part of a cow, right?
Yeah, but it's from the same part of the cow every time.
It's not like a...
So why don't they just grow a thigh, and you could call it a brisket,
you could call it a tenderloin, you could call it whatever.
How do you know what part of the meat this is, or what part of the cow? And you could call it a bristie, you could call it a tenderloin, you could call it whatever. You know?
Like, how do you know what part of the meat this is?
Or what part of the cow? I think that there's a scientific explanation that I'm not equipped to answer.
Okay.
But they're recreating, like, that specific part of the cow in a lab.
Okay.
This article is, like, much longer than it probably should be, so I haven't read the whole thing yet.
Why can't they just, like, develop something that I don't have to smoke for eight hours?
Oh, it's, like, built with smoke inside.
No, I just don't want to deal with, like, lab-grown brisket.
I'd probably eat it and not care.
But at the same time, I don't really want to deal with – I want them to make something that's a little more approachable.
I want them to make something that's a little more approachable.
I just don't.
Basically, I don't trust this article because she hasn't eaten brisket since 1997.
Is it because she's a vegetarian?
I don't know.
It's still meat if you're growing it in a lab, just to be clear.
I guess you're not killing the animal, but it's still meat.
Okay, from the article, they'll need to design each component of a brisket separately,
like the lean muscle, the fat, and the collagen.
Cam has been reading meat science studies about brisket structure they're trying to replicate.
The components will need to be grown alongside one another
and intertwined to mimic the structure of a brisket.
Yeah, so they're just recreating the parts of a brisket.
I don't know.
Look, it's probably not going to be awesome. No. I'm down
to give it a shot if they actually are able to
make this happen. Let them take
this commercial before I
give it a try. I mean, three years
is... A lot can happen
in three years. I don't know how they got the... I don't know how they even
got the time frame on that. Like, no one's going to give
a fuck in three years.
Are we even going to be here in three years?
Think about that.
Hard to say.
Thank you.
At this rate, shoot.
You know what happens to me every time I eat brisket?
What's up?
I get an upset tummy.
Oh, no.
Is this about Tushy?
I always have to go to the bathroom soon after, unfortunately.
Dylan, do you have a butthole?
It's gross.
You know I have a butthole Will
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You know what I always say, too?
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You're not just going to wipe it off with a paper towel.
No, you're washing that thing.
You're going to put some water on that thing.
And that opened my eyes.
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Even the best two-ply just can't cut it when it comes to a hands-free poop experience.
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What?
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We got some news out of Florida.
This news would have absolutely
devastated 7th Grade Will,
who did this every single day.
If Florida City repeals
the 13-year ban on sagging pants.
Oh yeah, I guess this is good news for me.
This is good news for 7th Grade Will.
13 years ago you'd have been devastated.
Dude, shout out to... I'm not a sag Yeah, 13 years ago you'd have been devastated. Dude, shouts this.
I'm not a saggy pants boy.
Did you ever sag?
No.
Just be honest with us, Brett.
Does it look like I sagged, Will?
There's a city in Florida called Opa-locka.
Opa-locka?
Opa!
That's weird, right?
It's hyphenated.
After 13 years, a South Florida city has overturned a ban on saggy pants,
bottoms that reveal the wearer's underwear.
The Opa-Locka City Commission voted Wednesday on a 4-1 vote
to repeal both the original 2007 legislation and a 2013 ordinance
that said women, not just men, could receive civil citations
for wearing pants that expose their undergarments.
It's just logistically a tough thing to do.
You can't run.
What if you needed
to go somewhere quickly?
Who's the chill bro dude
who was like,
hold on,
we gotta bring this back
to the forefront.
Trying to sag.
There's no way
Bill is sagging.
It was just like,
what are we doing?
Why is this a city ordinance?
A waste of time
writing citations
for saggy pants
when they could be doing it.
I wonder how many citations
were actually written.
I'm guessing it was less than 10.
No one's gonna write that.
I said the over-under is 10, yeah.
10 and a half, call it.
A pants-sagging citation.
Get out of here.
It's like jaywalking.
I mean, has anybody ever been cited for jaywalking?
They have signs up in Opelika.
That says no sagging?
It says, the signs say,
no ifs, ands, or buts.
It's the city law. What kind ass community is this what made them decide
to reverse this i guess i could read the article but i don't even know i cool teens probably vice
mayor chris davis said i was never in support of it even as a resident he sponsored the repeal
chris davis definitely skated back in the day listen is there is there's nothing better to do
like i feel like that's a real quick,
like, a 10-minute repeal.
Like, hey, this is dumb.
We should repeal this.
Well, I feel like...
All in favor?
Done.
I feel like, yeah,
they're going to go pass another law
that just makes young people really mad.
Or that's what they were doing at the time.
And, like, they were just like,
all right, we got to ban these pants.
It was like...
They were like, listen, we can do...
We're taking vapes away,
but you get saggy pants back. What do you think? And they're like, no, deal. Fuck. The It was like, they were like, listen, we can do, we're taking vapes away, but you get saggy pants back.
What do you think?
And they're like,
no,
deal,
fuck.
The kids are like,
okay,
that works for me.
Made a trade at the deadline.
Can't take the vapes away,
right?
Well,
I think part of the reason
this was overturned
is because I think
it was kind of considered
somewhat racial profiling.
Okay.
So I think that might have been
part of the reason.
Kind of like the dress codes that like, oh, I don't know, maybe, let's just say a bar
named Bottle Blonde in...
Perhaps Dallas?
Dallas or maybe Houston.
Yeah.
They had some dress codes that were just not that great.
It was like, oh, you can't wear...
What were some of them?
You couldn't wear a jersey.
It's like, really?
You're going to have a bar that shows football games and you're not going to let people wear
jerseys?
Maybe t-shirts, too, were also banned.
Yeah, it was ridiculous.
Like graphic tees or something.
I remember a specific jogger situation.
Yeah, joggers are also banned, as I learned.
Can't wear joggers.
That place is so ridiculous.
Can't wear joggers.
You can't wear a jersey in there?
You used to not be able to.
I think they've since gotten skewered enough that they've had to be a little more calm.
It's a club.
Yeah. It's like a loud music club it's club i didn't realize it was until uh like 11 o'clock when they turn it into a club that's the only time i've ever seen it so maybe
it's like a upscale bar before that and then they just yeah they just turn up at 11 o'clock i don't
remember the exact tweet but brad brad from internet party had a very funny tweet one time
that was essentially just saying like no if clubs think they know how to dress better than me, then it's not someplace I need to go to.
It's just like, yeah, like, he dresses immaculately.
And if someone turns him away, it's like, that's not a place I want to go to.
I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of, like, dorks wearing, like, I mean, I like putting my chinos on stuff as much as anybody.
But, like, sometimes you got to wear joggers to the club when you've been out all day no joggers huh no will got denied
i was like dude these are fresh out the box like what am i supposed to do then he went to pizza
just salulu dog what are you talking about they let me in for and i stayed there for about
10 minutes before uh departing saw bread bread out of the corner of my eye. I was like, Brad, we got to go. Yeah. Last Red Bull vodka you had was at Bottle Blonde in Dallas.
I said,
drink one.
What would you do for a meetup right now?
Would you cut off a pinky toe for just unlimited meetups for the rest of the year?
Yeah.
We're close.
We're not there,
but we're close.
I don't know,
man.
Someone said we're closer to a meetup than we've ever been,
but I still don't even know if that's true.
I'm worried about this.
Not this year, I don't think.
It's going to happen.
2020, we're not having a meetup.
And that's sad to say.
The entire year, no meetups.
Well, we had one in the beginning of the year.
We did at Dallas.
And we did Colorado.
Yeah.
Colorado.
Oh, yeah.
We got two in.
You don't think we can sneak one in?
We'd have to see some really good data to sneak one in in, like, December.
I don't know.
Bars aren't, like, fully even opened yet.
They're about to be, man.
I saw shots to Eisenhower's.
They put a gram up that's like soon or something like that.
What if we just wore PPE the entire time?
I mean...
What if we went full bubble boy?
We just had the hand slots that we could shake people's hands through.
It's the capacity at these bars is the problem right now.
Yeah.
Our door bars don't have capacities.
I'm not saying we should have one.
I don't think it's responsible for us to have one right now.
Yeah, yeah.
Shaking hands right now could be.
We're closer than not, but it's not imminent, unfortunately.
Unless, like, New York, maybe? Where COVID is knocked on wood.
Going down.
If not under control.
I don't know.
I don't want to get people's hopes up.
We're thinking about it, though.
Yeah, it needs to happen.
I miss it.
I do, too.
I miss Lincoln and building with the squads.
Mm-hmm.
You know?
Oh, always.
Maybe we'll put some rules in place.
Outdoor situation. I don't know. We'll figure it out. Is we'll put some rules in place outdoor situation.
I don't know.
We'll figure it out.
Is it time for
breast breaking news?
Loaded.
I have a story
I have a story for you today
that my buddy just sent me.
Same.
It might be that
might be the same one.
I don't think it is
because this this is
this isn't nationwide news.
This is personal news
from this.
Oh.
That applies to other things.
Should you want to
just leave it off then?
I could do that.
Yeah.
Lead off.
My buddy just sent me a tweet from a guy that says,
TSA just confiscated a gift under a new rule against, quote, spreadables like cream cheese.
No shit.
He said, make the skies safe from fig jam.
So you can't rock fig jam.
You can't do spreadables anymore.
Wait, where?
I missed the first part of this.
TSA.
Huh.
Are we sure it's not a certain amount?
Like he tried to bring a block of Philly on the plane?
We brought some – this is so yuppie scum.
We brought some ghee.
You know what ghee is?
Like the butter replaces?
Brought some of that to Michigan so we could make some butter coffees while we were there.
And on our way home, the guy told Sally that he was confiscating it.
And it was just like, we were like, really?
You're going to confiscate it?
Like, this was $8, dude.
Please don't do this to us right now.
I told him, I was like, dude, it's an amorphous solid.
I was like, that's still a solid.
And he was just looking at me like, you're an idiot.
You dropped an amorphous solid in the security line?
You didn't actually say that, right?
I did.
He was not impressed.
And I was just like, yeah, you can take the ghee.
This makes sense.
Take the gi, sir.
Not only is it open,
but we could definitely put something in here
and hide it and get in trouble.
Amorphous solid.
Take it.
I don't even know what that means.
Dude, it's a solid that's not totally solid, dude.
It's amorphous.
Oh, jeez.
Yeah, that's pretty insufferable.
Anyway.
Boy, do I have some news here for the squad.
Hit us.
Dylan, choose your own adventure here.
Would you like to go?
Aliens?
Yes.
Pizza?
Charcuterie?
Or Taco Bell?
I mean, this is just...
Aliens, dude.
Always.
It's always aliens. Signs of life, according to news.sky.com, perhaps detected in the Venetian atmosphere.
The atmosphere of Venus.
Oh.
I thought you meant like over Venice.
Yeah.
No.
There's probably them too.
Microbes unlike any life on Earth could be thriving high in the clouds of Venus, according
to a new discovery by astronomers, Dylan.
No.
Yeah.
No.
We thought it was Mars this whole time.
How about Venus in the clouds?
Okay.
They found what in the atmosphere again?
So they found, not microbial life, they found compounds.
Like little briskets floating around?
Yeah, little compounds.
Just waiting to get harvested?
Organic compounds in the clouds of Venus.
Okay.
So the building blocks of life exist high in the Venetian atmosphere.
But if we found these tiny little compounds,
okay, why can't, where are the aliens?
Where are the fucking aliens? That's what i'm trying to say here i'm trying to sound smart but where the fuck are these aliens
i don't care about compounds i want to see the little guys walking around the fact that we have
compounds on venus means that the potential for life in any sort of situation goes up through the roof.
If we have organic compounds that can build life on fucking Venus next door, that means the 100 billion planets in our galaxy, there's a real good shot.
Somebody's got fucking E.T. up there looking at Dylan's searches.
Dylan's searches.
I think what I'm getting at is if we have the technology and the science to find these things,
why can't we find the little guys walking around, chilling, and cooking up, you know.
Brisket.
Cooking up brisket.
No, like, you know what I mean?
Like, what the fuck are they?
Show me.
I just don't think they. They just don't tell us.
Well, there's a theory.
I don't know. I think that aliens aren't that
interested in us, personally. So why would they come here
to chill? They are
interested in us.
What's so good about us?
We've basically
confirmed the existence of UFOs.
Yeah. Not basically. They have.
The CIA, they've done it.
Aliens are real.
I just want to fucking see one.
I don't care about compounds and microorganisms and shit.
Yeah, I'm tired of, like, identify these damn flying objects.
Yeah, I want to see it.
Just identify them.
Show me.
We know where they are.
They wouldn't be UFOs anymore.
They'd be IFOs.
Okay, then let's identify them.
Then figure it out.
Like, that's literally your job.
You're telling me you wouldn't want to take a peek at a...
Of course I would.
Of course I would. Imagine going into your job at NASA or wherever every day and just, like that's literally your job. You're telling me you wouldn't want to take a peek at a – Of course I would. Okay. Of course I would.
Imagine going into your job at NASA or wherever every day and just like being like, nope, still
haven't found the aliens.
It's like us walking into the studio and being like, oh, man, we almost recorded a
podcast today.
Like just find the damn aliens.
Dude, if I was elected president –
That's the first question.
Question number one.
I'd be like, let's fucking see.
Why –
Do you –
Shut the door and get the shit – show me the aliens.
How many degrees of separation are we from George Bush?
We have to know somebody who knows somebody.
We know somebody who knows somebody.
So can we just get a little sit down at the ranch, get them a little liquored up,
a couple Miller Highlifes, and spill the beans?
How did Andrew Yang not just say that he was running his entire campaign based on
if he was elected president, day one, he's unsealing every single UFO file.
I'm voting for that dude.
Seriously.
Are you not voting for that?
Really?
That would be a great play, man.
It's like, hey, guys, day one, go to aliens.com.
Yang is in.
.gov.
Yeah, go to aliens.gov and find out everything you've ever wanted to know.
Man, this is like the most interesting recurring topic for me.
I love talking about aliens.
I do too.
Because there's some shit out there that people know about and they're keeping it from us.
We need Tom DeLonge on this podcast.
I feel like he's too in the weeds, man.
Dude, listen to the Bob Lazar.
I do.
Me and Bobby L go way back.
I'm calling Bobby L.
Dude, that guy.
Nutty Beads with Bobby L.
Chill Stitch.
That guy knows a lot of shit, man, and I believe him.
There's no reason not to.
Actually, there's multiple reasons not to,
but his life turned to shit when he started talking about it.
I know.
What is there?
Like, it's kind of like Scientology.
Like, once you start talking about it publicly, like, you just have people showing up at your door, like, just treating you like shit.
Yes, potentially.
Yes.
What if you have the technology?
Why wouldn't Russia or China or fucking Great Britain, why wouldn't they want that?
I hope someone knocks on my door tonight and they're like, and I'm just like oh no what happened it's just micah but like hey you guys i heard you guys were
saying that we need to identify these things like shut the fuck up
whoa calm down guy oh just do your job there's some shit out there and i want to know more about
it i i'm 100 with you if i die before we uh you know know more about this shit i'm gonna be
pretty upset i agree i will in my last time i want to know more we got about a decade before
there's just there's nothing we don't know i think tops 10 years do you think you've ever
had someone do the men in black like mind erasing thing to you how would you know exactly that's
like the thing about time travel it's like it's never going to be invented because nobody's
ever traveled back.
We've never met somebody from the future.
Doesn't that suck?
There's no way to time travel.
There's just no way. I don't know, dude.
There's no way. No, you can't.
No. Where would you go?
When would I go?
Okay.
Think about that.
Okay.
I don't know.
I would go in the future for sure, see what it's all about.
I wouldn't go back.
I'd go forward.
If I could only do it once.
Really?
Oh, man.
If you could only do it once, that's a good question.
You'd go forward or back?
I'd go forward.
Oh, man.
That's a hard question. That's man. That's a hard question.
That's deep.
That's a hard question.
I would jump probably like 200, 300 years.
Okay.
Well, what if – You're going to be swamped.
If you have one –
It's going to be hot.
Yeah, it's going to be hot.
It's going to be hot.
It's going to be a scorcher.
Where are your bird dogs, dude?
I'm going to January, dude.
What if you hop forward and we're just all –
like everybody's gone?
That would suck. You go forward 300 years
And there's no one
There's just Will Smith
And his dog in New York City
Just trying to kill shit
Yeah I don't know man
I wouldn't want to go back
If you could see
A snapshot of your life
10 years from now
Would you take it
Would you do it
Oh I don't know
And you can't change the outcome
I don't know You could be sitting really pretty Could be dead No I'm not doing it? Would you do it? Oh, I don't know. And you can't change the outcome. I don't know.
You could be sitting really pretty.
You could be dead.
No, I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing it.
I don't think I am either.
No.
No chance.
No, because I would either get way too excited about how awesome I was,
or if I wasn't awesome, I would just get so depressed.
But if I was just loaded and living the life i would be so excited
and you'd like nothing you do to fuck it up you know it's gonna it's gonna happen like that's
your future yeah if that's your future i'll become a lazy piece of shit like well i'll be in 10 years
like that's what i'm you know no no chance a lot no i don't think i'm gonna do it it's too it's
too risky and if what you see is devastating you're like fuck even if what you see is good now i'm just like a lot of pressure now like i gotta do
i gotta to get to where i to get to that so can you you can't change the outcome but i don't know
i wouldn't do it if you ask me as an 18 year old if i wanted to do it 10 years from then and know
what i was doing at 28 yeah i would do that maybe to cool my my worries about being a productive
human right because i think when i was like 23 or 18, like 18, I'm a little nervous.
You're just kind of lost.
You don't know what the hell you're going to do with your life.
Like what am I going to be doing in 10 years?
Even at 23, I might do it when I'm 33 just to be like, okay, I just need to make sure that I'm finding someone and that I'm going to have a job that I don't like hate.
Then I might do it.
But now 43, like there's a lot that can happen between 33 and 43 that could either be really fun or really depressing.
I'm not doing it.
Yeah, I wouldn't either.
There's no way.
Brett's breaking news is hitting today.
Absolutely hitting today.
First one.
Will, I have charcuterie news for you.
Hit me.
Charcuterie is blowing up.
You're welcome, charcuterie.
It's not us.
I'm just going to throw that out there.
It's not not circling back in the Will DeFreeze movement for charcuterie.
It's your buddy, Cons.
Cons.
He's huge on it.
I'll just say this.
The popularity score for Google Trend Charcuterie, August 30th to September 5th, is a 70.
That's what August was of last year. 30,
25. So I'm looking at the last five years of charcuterie trends on Google.
There's always a little spike. November, December, I would imagine Thanksgiving and Christmas.
2016, it spiked at 25. 2017, it spiked at 28. 2018, it spiked at 40. 2019, it spiked at $25. 2017, it spiked at $28.
2018, it spiked at $40.
2019, it spiked at $100.
We're already at December 2019 levels for charcuterie in September.
That's scary.
Look at this forecast.
If you can buy charcuterie stock, ideally figs and other things like crackers and cheese,
find a way.
These ladies need to stop doing brisket in their lab and start doing some gabagool.
Hey.
I'm just going to say this right now.
Charcuterie is going to be the most popular IG story of the next three months.
It always is, dude.
It always is.
It's the easiest way to look classy without doing anything.
You just spend $30 at the grocery store and all of a sudden you're just a class act.
I'm just saying.
Give me some behind-the-scenes names that we can put some money into on the charcuterie front.
Okay.
Dylan.
Taco Bell's doing a wine.
A wine?
I'm good. A wine.
I'm out.
I'm good, fam.
Guess what it's called.
Jalapeno Noir.
No, it's not. Jalapeno Noir. No, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
Taco Bell is debuting its own custom wine, Jalapeno Noir,
to pair with its toasted cheesy chalupa for a limited time in Canada only.
You know what I asked myself yesterday?
Why do really bad wines exist?
Think about it.
If you make a wine and you're like, this wine, no one is going to rebuy this.
You know it when you put it on the shelf. It's a shit wine and you know it. You taste it. If you make a wine and you're like, this wine, no one is going to rebuy this. You know it when you put it on the shelf.
It's a shit wine and you know it.
You taste it.
This wine sucks.
Because they know there's a bunch of broke boys like me out there who are going to look at the bottom shelf before going up.
Yeah, but no one's ever going to buy it a second time.
True.
Ever.
True.
Because there are other shitty wines that taste better that are also $4.
I made a mistake that Brett has made numerous times,
and I bought a Bordeaux this past weekend.
I drank half the bottle on Saturday night.
It tasted like shit.
I'm convinced Bordeaux's need to be $1,000 before they're any good.
Like, I mean, I can't express how uninspiring this wine was.
And I'm not going to act like I spent a bunch of money on it. I think I thought I was balling by getting an $18 bottle.
It tasted like absolute dog shit.
Just go back to the drawing board and make a wine that's not so bad.
That's all I'm saying.
Catch me looking up red wine reduction recipes for dinner tonight because I got to get rid of this stuff.
I'm about to reduce it.
Good.
You need to reduce it.
Just slap that cooking label or cooking wine label on it.
It's not even drinkable.
Anyway, Taco Bell said the duo is irresistible, and the rich taste and crunchy texture of the beloved toasted cheesy chalupa
complements notes of wild strawberry, cherry, and beetroot.
Yeah, we'll see about it.
Are they actually putting jalapenos in this jalapeno noir?
Hard to say.
I mean, I would just know with strawberry, cherry, and beetroot.
I'll give them credit.
Jalapeno noir is good.
It's good.
It's not a bad name.
The bottles they normally cost, $25.
Not doing that.
Sorry, Taco Bell.
In pizza news, last but not least.
Okay.
The DailyMeal.com, they were in this segment last week,
has released the 101 best pizzas in America.
Do they consult your former boss?
You would think, because he has done hundreds, if not a thousand reviews at this point, but
some notables.
Shouts to number 94, Cloverleaf Pizza in East Point, Michigan.
Never had it.
Is there a single one in the state of Texas?
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Number 84, Zoli's in Addison, Texas.
Don't know Zoli's.
This one I just put on here to say I like number 80.
Pizza to Joey.
Give me number one.
What's number one?
Oh, my name's Joey.
Hey, I'm walking here.
Give me the pizza to Joey.
Hey, I'm Joey.
Shut up.
That's in Baltimore.
Number 57, Louie's Pizza in Hazel Park, Michigan.
Number them.
Three Michigan appearances. 56, Home Sl Hazel Park, Michigan. Never been. Three Michigan appearances.
56, Home Slice, Austin, Texas.
Okay.
Home Slice is only okay.
Yeah.
It's not my favorite Austin pizza.
If I show up to a pizza party and the Home Slice is there.
I'm happy.
I'm like, all right, they got Home Slice.
But it's not a pizza that I'm like, oh, I'm craving pizza.
Let's go to Home Slice.
Right.
Yeah.
Number 35, Cipino Pizza in Detroit, Michigan. You need to not skip the one that you just skipped, number, I'm craving pizza. Let's go to Home Slice. Right. Yeah. Number 35, Cipino Pizza in Detroit, Michigan.
You need to not skip
the one that you just skipped,
number 41.
Oh, okay.
Sorry, I didn't even mean to skip it.
Number 41,
Cane Rosso in Dallas, Texas.
Trash.
Ooh.
I've had it.
There's one in Austin.
Okay.
I think there's just one,
but...
Oh.
What did he just do?
The homie just jumped on the couch in the lobby and something just came tumbling down.
Something definitely fell.
Okay.
He looks like he did something bad.
He has the guiltiest face of all time.
Oh, I love it, though.
I love it.
It's okay.
Dude, Cate Rosso, if you like pizza that's not cooked enough and, well, will have everything
slide off the top of the pizza when you take one bite, then Cate Rosso's your pizza. Sure. It's not cooked enough and, well, will have everything slide off the top of the pizza when you take one bite.
Then Cane Rosso is your pizza.
Sure.
It's not that great.
That is trash when you just bite into it and yank all the toppings off.
I've had it twice and I just didn't – I wasn't impressed.
I will say the ambiance at the restaurant I enjoyed.
I enjoyed being there.
Number 10, I just like this name, Peace.
That's all it's called in Chicago.
Peace.
Yeah.
What's one?
The hottest new Chicago – or the hottest pizza in Chicago. Peace. That's all it's called in Chicago. Peace. Yeah. What's one, dog? The hottest new Chicago in...
Peace.
Number six, Buddies in Detroit.
Shouts to Will.
And number one, Frank Pepe's in New Haven, Connecticut.
You ever had it?
Oh, yeah.
Is it good?
Very good.
Is there a line?
Nope.
They have plenty of locations.
But the OG...
It's worth a trip.
So Mr. Gaddy's didn't make it on this list.
Oh, man.
It's on there somewhere. You shouldn't Gaddy's didn't make it on this list. Oh, man. It's on there somewhere.
You shouldn't see it.
Man.
Long boy today.
Oh, yeah.
No one saw us going almost an hour and a half with D-Man out.
Yeah.
I mean, you mentioned aliens in this.
Better buckle.
It's tough when you walk in the studio and Joe Rogan's trending because of something that we actually want to talk about.
And Dave's not here to just unleash.
I know, man.
That's his boy.
And then we start talking about, like, we got Taco Bell, pizza.
Like, this is all in Dave's wheelhouse.
I feel bad.
I got Parks losing his mind out there.
I better go see what's going on.
Let's get the hell out of here.
Let's wrap this thing up.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.