Circling Back - Revolve Festival & Tan Balls in the New Studio
Episode Date: April 18, 2022Time to christen the new studio, baby, let’s goooo. Obviously we begin with recapping our weekends before launching into a discussion about Revolve Fest going all wrong, tanning your testicles with ...Tucker Carlson, and more. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:11) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (37:07) Revolve Fest Stinks, Baby! (53:45) Imagine Not Tanning Your Testicles (1:12:50) New Studio Movin’ Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) Super Speciosa: www.getsuperleaf.com/steam (STEAM for 20% off) Ten Thousand: www.tenthousand.cc (CIRCLING for 15% off) Truebill: www.truebill.com/circling --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back coming to you live from the people cave.
Circling back podcast presented by busy heart Heart Cells to the only heart cell to
vitamin C and superfruit acerola.
My name's Will DeFreeze.
To my left.
Sorry, I got too used to saying right last week.
To my left.
David, that boy rough.
Yeah.
On behalf of everyone, let me be the first to officially welcome everyone to the new studio.
It's been a long road it was a tough move but we got here we did everything ourselves there were no hunks here
to help us no i'm kidding shout out to the hunks shout out to the hunks especially the
hunk who said he could beat canelo it's the same hunk who bled all over our couch we've got his
blood but i think he got most of it off which was very nice of the hunk to do.
I felt bad we didn't have any Band-Aids.
Because the last thing you want is a damaged hunk.
I'll be honest.
When blood gets on something, getting it mostly off usually isn't enough for me.
We're the least likely company to have Band-Aids on hand, though, if you think about it.
You can't expect us to come through with a first aid kit.
Yeah, but if you're a moving company,
don't you think having a first aid kit would be a good thing to have on hand yourself?
Probably.
Sorry, I'm not trying to expose the hunks or splinters.
We are trying to give the couch away.
I don't think it's worth selling.
We're probably going to give it away.
Should we disclose that there's hunk blood on it before we do so?
A hunk of hunk of burning blood.
What type is he uh i don't know you know your boy's a universal donor you type o o negative yeah that's sick yeah i don't know what my thing is do you know yours is
no i don't either how do you find out i I think you know at birth. You should ask your parents.
Really?
They test it?
Yeah.
So you found out at birth and just knew since then?
Well, it was told to me at a later time when I was at a more developed brain.
I feel like I've donated blood.
I feel like I should know from that, but I just feel like I put it in my head and just didn't think about it.
Nobody wants your mid-ass blood.
I'm sorry.
I feel like there's got to be a couple people out there
who are like, actually, I could use a little.
I want your blood.
I finished watching that this weekend.
I forgot how it ended.
It's quite the ending.
Yeah, it turns out that I think I just watched
the oil field scenes every other time I'd seen that movie.
You got to watch the bowling alley scene.
Yeah, watching the bowling alley scene,
I kind of forgot about it
and it got me a little fired up
to like kill my competitors and stuff.
I still can't get over
Elvis Presley he did a couple minutes ago.
Are you doing this because Elon tweeted
an Elvis Presley lyric yesterday?
No, what did he tweet?
He said, love me tender.
Find out how Elon Musk quit tweeting
an Elvis lyric leads to him buying Twitter.
That's something
i've probably tweeted but it was uh love me chicken tenders because you know me i love chicken
anyway thanks for having me will about this new office though huh it's fine what it's uh it's it's
surprisingly if you're watching this on the youtubes, it probably doesn't look that different
because we have the same curtains and shit.
But we're going to make some changes in here, folks.
Just wait.
These aren't going to be our curtains for long.
Very soon, we're going to have beef curtains
right behind us.
We're not going to have beef curtains,
but we are going to change the...
Arby's dropped a bag on the new studio quite a bit.
That was supposed to be the big surprise.
But yeah, they are now our title sponsor.
I didn't know any of this. We are obligated to say we have the meat six times per episode it's a two-year deal it'll
be over before you know it so if you don't like it that's a lot of that's a lot of meat you can
i'll get half of those okay very sick well we had dylan out for a week you were getting are we allowed
to talk about the surgery you're getting i didn't have surgery on my Swedish procedure on something downstairs the Swedish
procedure yeah you got a buttholeoplasty uh no i didn't have any surgery i was just very sick
you were sick i could from all the meds that they gave you during the surgery super gross i think i
had a sinus infection that's fucking sick i think and um i'm still kind of dealing with it a little bit i feel
fine but you want to hear something creepy about that over the past like eight days david eight or
nine days i could have filled up like a five gallon bucket of the mucus all right the phlegm
the snot that has that's the escaped my body that's one body bodily
fluid that people don't want to hear it's truly it was i was worried about you because like i mean
you were down bad i mean you missed the entire week last week tough so i hit up britney i was
like hey is there anything i can do can i bring over anything she's like can you get us some
kleenex dylan's just been just blowing his nose into a bucket a five gallon bucket next to our
bed trying to prove to me that
he has gallons of stuff coming i was disposing of it properly okay via tissue man it was just gross
but i was like i was hawking up like raw oysters man it was gross they were they were calling you
tony hawk i know it was crazy anyway you got real sick yeah out of solidarity i decided to get sick
with dylan we're going to miss the move he didn't get to say hi to the lots of folks are getting It was crazy. Anyway, I'm back. You got real sick. Thanks. Yeah, out of solidarity, I decided to get sick with Dylan.
Will had to miss the move.
He didn't get to say hi to the hunk.
Lots of folks are getting sick right now.
No, I didn't miss the whole move.
I was an absolute grind boy with Randy making sure that if I was going to be sick on move day,
that I would at least have my work done the night before by packing up a bunch of shit.
I want to get ahead of that.
I did participate in the move.
I didn't get to was the first one at the office on thursday
morning to greet the hunks so i did best i could sending the text that i was too sick to come in
on moving day was a tough text to send because that is something you don't want to hear from
especially after talking shit about me all week about how oh don't just conveniently sick during
moving he listened yeah i know what y'all are talking about i have my ear to the ground jerks or this just speaker so y'all do a podcast so yeah i
was going to say what what platform did you listen with your ear to the ground um i i don't know
it's all right i heard y'all talking that's what i'm trying to say i wasn't i was like dude stop
no i was like dude dylan's legit sick that's not even cool you he could have something serious
he could need a backiotomy what's that is that where they blow it out
that would blow up my back david the doctor said you needed really no anyway i'm on this i'm gone
all this maya mocha so i apologize i just used our new new coffee machine over there to make this.
And it's very strong.
I don't like the size of your Yeti.
I don't like the size of your face, man.
Hey, how much waste-
I feel like my face is normal.
How much waste did your coffee have afterwards?
Like, was there like a pod item?
Significantly less than yours since mine's recyclable
and you have a plastic couple that you will be throwing away.
Ooh, got him!
Why is there a recycling logo on the bottle?
You're not going to recycle that?
Oh, yeah.
I'll get away for you to recycle that.
We actually can.
If you don't reduce and reuse it, that thing,
I'm going to call you out.
What's all in there?
Is it optimized?
Are you sure that the mocha's actually from the Mayans?
Yeah, how do you know?
Like Mayan, not like the Mayans, not like the salt Mayans.
Right, Mayan.
I know what Mayan means.
Careful drinking that so fast, it's going to come out your end.
No, but really, what's in there?
You walked across the street and purchased it.
What's in there?
I don't know.
It's what I used to always get when it was the trailer near Grand X.
Old Grand X, last office.
The paint factory.
Same place.
Why didn't we move into the old paint factory?
Yeah, I think that place is vacant i bet
it's dude the company that we shared that little space with the pill company they got paid somebody
bought them out and they i think they all made out very well was it purdue pharma i loved it i
probably probably love to see medical companies winning. You got to.
Yeah.
No, I think they were actually like a cool one.
I think they specialized in like low, cheaper drugs.
Oh, they didn't gouge people?
So it wasn't like, man, sorry, that insulin that you need is going to be $1,200.
Yeah, it's $16,000 a month.
Hopefully you can afford it.
Insurance doesn't cover it.
I have a story about that, but I won't make you guys listen.
Randy's a big Purdue Pharma guy. you know what's your problem randy pushing p i wonder who's in that office now the old grand
x1 legitimately a cool office just a little pricey for grand x and us to be fair but we're
not doing that you always lay off a third of the company, and then you get a bigger office that could fit three times the company.
That's the motto.
Yeah.
Yeah, we had about 8,000 square feet, and we were using about 900 of it.
Yeah.
We had a ping pong table and a FIFA station.
It was fun.
Where's our ping pong table going to go?
We're not going to.
Is it because you're bad at it, and that's why you never played?
No, it's because, like, oh, we're a startup. You have to have a ping pong at it and that's why you never played no it's
because like oh we're a startup you have to have a pink no you don't have to have a pink dude that
no that's the most fun anybody ever had that ping pong table bonded us together more than
literally anything else the company was collapsing around us like oh let's just get a game man like
okay yeah dude sometimes you have to do that little reprieve to make yourself feel better
see this is why you just don't embrace the startup we have our hr guy doesn't care about mental health at all we have like our get it our uh content guy who was like
putting out the most he like the most content what you know i'm trying to say he's the most
prolific and he was over there spending like four hours a day playing sock playing fifa no no no
the only at 3 45 every day once dave and, we pretty much didn't publish anything in the afternoon after like the East Coast was leaving work.
So at 345 every day, I would get in Slack.
I'd hit up T-Man and say, let's run a game.
One would turn into two.
Then we'd start to feel the superiors in the office, you know, having really serious meetings.
We could feel them breathing down our necks.
So we'd always call it a two.
They were having closed door meetings.
Y'all were within. Unsch the vision of them like man something's going on we don't know so
let's just let's just play fifa and forget about it you know my content was good when they didn't
fire me when they were looking at me play fifa every single afternoon like this guy out here
on the sticks we got to keep him yeah he's killing it hey i got some uh i got some big news it's not
that big a news we punted last week on uh dad pod because dylan was not here for that we will be
doing dad pod tomorrow if you guys have any questions or topics anything you want to talk
on the topic of dad parenting hood anything head over to washmedia.com submit and just send in your
questions i will be tweeting that out and putting up a slide on Instagram.
Also, voicemails 888-618-4422.
Again, 888-618-4422.
We got a couple new reviews, one of which I find to be very funny.
Can I read these for you guys?
Yeah.
Is it very nice and about me?
It's actually a very nice review about Dave,
but the praise here is very interesting
praise in my mind okay okay it says that goaded golf takes
from me oh from the z guy doubt it kjg he said like will i finally won my family master's draft
after hearing dave talk about scotty scheffler yeah no one was talking about the number one
player in the world i always have to take take my advice from a man with his own swing academy,
automatic five stars.
Dude, no one had Scotty win it.
Dude, the guy who was just coming off a win
and ranked number one in the world.
Yeah, way to go, Dave.
Dude, it's weird that the hottest golfer in the world.
That's good intel from you.
It's hard to win back-to-back in this league.
It's hard to beat a team three times.
Goated golf, Dave. anything else on there they say
less bing bong more candles my now husband sucked me into this podcast that's a little too much
chill out oh wow chill dude guys started listening not by choice on a road trip but i'm now fully
committed do less but do less bing bong we even burn bro and need more circling back candles i got bad news
yeah i'm happy you're listening shout out to you i'm sure you guys are a lovely couple
this bing bong ain't going nowhere yeah i i promise i will make to you right now i'm not
doing less bing bong you know what you know what our company mission statement should be less ping
pong more bing bong because you've already nixed that's pretty good dude i like that our final review is from son of a says affidavit or affidavit affidavit skirt skirt
said need a segment or special podcast with affidavit as the host giving completely inaccurate
legal advice is that a good move for an actual lawyer what about alpha david no i don't think any of
those i don't think any affidavits not an approved date name so are you sure
what about affidavit that's a different story
sorry i was i was just distracted by brett coming out of the bathroom okay you don't have to
no we haven't we
dox him we no longer this is a new experience we no longer have to leave the studio in order to go
to the bathroom which means that uh the fan was going everyone's everyone's everyone's personal
everyone's personal business is officially aired out yeah you can't you can't sneak away and do
it and do it too uh-uh it's no more this definitely changes the game for my my tinky break
because i can i can now
well i have to jump over some wires but dead sprint to it but it also brings we were looking
for more reasons for people to get up mid-pod brings up uh something else we have to clean
this bathroom and i maybe we dedicate like we we do shifts like one week like on friday
one of us has to clean the bathroom then we rotate the next week
i think it needs to be a contest where we all vote who brought it the least that week and they have
to go clean the bathroom who took who took the the biggest dump that week i think we should leave it
to the most mondo dumps yeah we're not doing mondo dump start an excel start an excel google sheet
and we'll keep track of people's mondo dumps and the person that took the end at the end or the
most at the end of each week has to go in and clean it.
I'm just going to clean it right before I use it every single time.
We'll post all the public numbers of all the Mondo dumps.
And then the people at home can trust and verify.
Stop saying Mondo dumps.
I'm going to hire a guy that looks like Randy to take Mondo dumps so y'all think it's him.
Yeah, that's good.
That's so weird.
It's a good idea, though.
We have these wood beams, though. we're low-key grip and grain
it's everyone out there who thinks that we just moved into a space that's like
just absolutely massive it's not that much bigger than our old space there's just no walls
it's twice as big it is twice as big yes well their old space was fucking tiny it was small
let me say this to people at home because i I know they're going to ask. There are, in fact, load-bearing walls.
Some of these walls bear the load.
Right.
Otherwise, the roof wouldn't be held up.
Right.
Just some people, you know, they've got a lot of structural engineers.
They ask questions like, hey, how many load-bearing walls?
So you think people are sitting at home, like, picturing the new space and just wondering,
I wonder if any of those walls are bearing a load.
Correct. Did we have to pay extra to get the walls made from bare loads they use the same drum dylan was spitting in over the week
really how do they how do they procure it how disgusting that is that honestly is the most
grotesque thing you've ever said on this show i doubt i doubt that's they need to they need to do
like a like a how it's made isn need to they need to do like a like
a how it's made isn't that on discovery channel where they showed like how things are made i would
love to see like the beginning to end process of how they get the bare loads for the wall okay
you're still on the bare load yeah okay it's not it's not bare loads it's loads that bear weight
so the heavier the bear the more loads that they can get out of it. Or it's a structural beam or what do you call them
that holds weight.
Why do they call it a beam
instead of just calling it what it is?
A bear penis.
Okay, there's not a bear penis inside the wall.
There's not. No, it's just-
Will thinks it's loads from a bear.
Oh.
Well, yeah, we're on our recycle, reduce, reuse grind.
Like, why wouldn't we use naturally procured substances in order to make our walls?
It's the Second Amendment, the right to bear loads.
We really came out firing in the new stew, didn't we?
A Bill of Rights reference, of course, for the folks at home.
More on that on This Weekend in Fun.
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what'd you do this weekend dylan wow thank you for asking will um i'll be honest i didn't do a
whole lot awesome man mostly i was just trying to recover from my illness a lot of um a lot of blowing my nose a lot of blowing my nose, a lot of coughing.
You had a lot of blow in your nose?
That seems aggressive.
Yeah, we had the kids.
We had the little man in Little Bay.
So that was a cute scene.
We kind of just had a nice little family weekend.
Of course, Easter was yesterday,
so we did an Easter egg hunt in the backyard,
had some family over, and it was lovely.
It was a lovely weekend, despite feeling not my best.
Bay's a little down bad herself.
She's not feeling great.
So you're just a super spreader of this sinus infection thing that you have.
I don't even think I was contagious, man.
Oh, yeah.
Will just happened to get sick with the identical thing.
Oh, yeah.
He got sick. Oh, yeah. I guess it was delayed onset. He got sick like five days later, you jerk. I mean, I was sick. man oh yeah will just happened to get sick with the identical thing oh yeah he got oh yeah i guess
it was delayed onset he got sick like five days later you jerk three i mean i was sick i was like
five i was sick on wednesday will will's nose i was worried when you were blowing your nose as
much i was like dude i don't want to say anything but this is i'm not i'm absolutely not capping
right now whoa you can see i don't have a cap on i am not capping okay on wednesday had you already
not been out and i had that much stuff
coming out of my nose i might i might have hung back from work a little bit but knowing that we
really had no other option i was like you know what i'm just gonna put it in my head that this
is allergies and then by thursday it became evident this ain't no allergies it was a shit
time to get sick man it was moving week it interrupted my shreddy weddy campaign like a
whole lot of stuff was thrown off you know i gotta get back on the grind reminds me of my um one of
my first bosses i won't say his name but he used to have this saying it wasn't really a saying just
a thing he said which is also a saying he would just say i don't get sick i just don't i don't
get sick and then one time he got sick i was like dude you're sick he's like yeah i'm sick i'm not
gonna be in for a couple days that's like dylan saying doesn't black out never black or never
been hung over yeah remember when you didn't get hangovers for whatever awesome you jinxed
yourself with that column it was awesome um we went out to dinner last night that was fun
right down the street place right on the street actually that was great time uh guess what i'm
getting married in less than two weeks guys hurry up hurry up why very cool man why hurry up because i keep thinking
your wedding is this upcoming weekend i had that i wanted to slow down every single time that i
think about like what's ahead of me in the next couple weeks i keep thinking that your wedding
is this upcoming weekend and it's throwing me off just get married already dude man i'm i'm getting uh
nerve not too late to skedaddle i'm getting nervous you could run get lost kid no i'm gonna show up i'm gonna be there on the wedding day but i'm just nervous about it two weeks away 13 days
man i don't like to i don't like i a bunch of eyes on me. You know what you do for a living?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got two pairs of eyes looking at me.
Not a hundred something.
It's just you jackasses.
You guys should just have a private ceremony and live stream it.
It's too late for that.
Yeah, do it.
We could sell it.
Is it too, I don't think it's too late to sell it.
I don't want to speak for Brett right now, but we could, we could get a sponsor for you. Man, Bay and I were talking cabo last night we got so excited it's gonna be fun man today's wedding is brought to you by
horsey sauce we're not doing that dave and i had to cancel cabo no you didn't no dave's on my flight
man no daddy yankee's playing a concert in austin that weekend and we had to pivot oh absolutely good
did you have a yankee are y'all staying back to make the little sass stand up set yeah i don't
blame you we have to when i went when i went to the mall the other day with the stop going to the
mall dude they were blaring i don't know if it was bad bunny or daddy yankee but some kind of reggaeton
and it was jamming dude i was just kind of bobbing my head i wanted to ask ask like, hey, who is this? But I didn't want to look like a nerd.
Dave goes to the mall as much as like a
middle schooler with a new girlfriend.
Dude, big brawl broke out
at the Parks Mall. You just like to hold hands
through the halls.
No, I like to run through the halls
of my high school.
I like to scream
out the knob of my lungs.
We're not going to act like that's not his best song.
I'm seeing him on Wednesday.
Thursday.
Are you guys two?
He's playing two nights.
Oh, I'm going to see him on Thursday.
Cool, man.
We're going to miss each other.
I wouldn't hang out with you anyway.
Probably because people just ditch Will at concerts.
I've learned that.
Who ditched me at concerts?
Ad.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You'll bring my swag down if you hang out with me.
Can I tell you something?
What?
I saw Ad at a wedding Saturday.
Are you done?
Because I don't want to jump in.
Yeah, I'm done.
He was sick.
I saw Ad.
Hadn't seen him.
Ad used to work with us.
He was a marketing man, outfitters, whatever.
And he asked how y'all were doing.
And I go, dude, man, what happened?
I thought you were trying to link with Will at that last one.
He goes, oh man.
And I made him feel bad.
And he's like, dude, I feel so bad.
And I told him you're going to dead and co in LA.
He goes, dude, tell him to call me.
So you need to hit up at, is he going?
I think he might.
I'm going to be with bro Bible Brandon the entire time.
I'm very jealous of that.
I want Brandon to listen to this and be like, dude, Will and I
have not made any plans to hang out. Why does he keep saying
he's hanging out with me? Next time he's in Austin,
I want him to do the show.
BroBibleBrandon.
And add two for that matter.
Sure. What'd that boy get into this
weekend?
So,
I too participated in the move. Got to talk to the hunks hunks mixed it up with the hunks a little bit
i'll never forget the the young hunk who walked in for i had not met him yet he goes
what's up my guy y'all got any kleenex i was like yeah dude we get it yeah dude what's up my guy
what's up my guy and he was mean, this kid's like 19.
They were so hunky though, man.
Helped with the move a little bit.
Then I felt bad.
I had to bail about noon.
Had to go pick up the roads, man.
Then drive with my son to Dallas, which, I mean, I don't think I've done that trip with
him yet by myself.
And he's kind of in what they call a developmental leap right now.
So he was a little bit fussy.
So I just had to listen to a playlist of nothing but kids music for the three-hour drive.
Which sounds bad, but you kind of start getting into it.
There's some bops on there?
Some absolute bops.
Shout out to the Lori Berkner band.
She's goaded.
The Wiggles, of course.
Oh, obviously.
Some real good ones.
Did you hit the bing bong song?
What's the bing bong song?
Come on, dude.
Song in the summer, dog.
You don't know the song?
Give us a couple lines.
Bing bong, bing bong.
Bing bong, bing bong. Bing lines. Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong.
Uh-huh.
Just like that.
I didn't hear that one. I went off.
Yeah, dude.
All right.
We'll have to add that to my playlist.
It's a vibe.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
So, stayed at my parents'.
We did an early Easter because we had to come back Saturday morning for a wedding that we had Saturday evening.
And again, I had to go to the mall Saturday.
You know me, I'm a big mall guy.
Can't stop going to the mall.
Of course, when I go to the mall, I always park at Nordstrom.
I just like walking through there.
Sometimes there's a pianist.
There's a what?
A pianist. A person who plays the the piano how desperate are they for eyes on their
establishment this is an abercrombie they just got some dude just hanging just meet out it's
like abercrombie but it's someone who's uh of age right no i didn't see any crank there but you know
i did see was it you guys you've been to ebar right you know he gets old coffee
right out there i was waiting on my cold brew uh folks folks i'm at nordstrom right now i'm right
here at nordstrom you ran into alex jones i ran into alex jones he walked by me at nordstrom
which is the least alex jonesy store he could possibly be. Maybe he's there to see the penis.
It's surprising he was shopping because he had to declare for bankruptcy.
He did.
Info Wars.
Folks, don't let him fool you.
A lot of companies file for bankruptcy.
It's just a reorg.
We're not liquidating.
There's something a little more alarming about Info Wars declaring bankruptcy than like other companies to me.
Does that mean the war on info is over
or is it just starting i should stop doing that it's gonna not you're gonna get another
pod yeah you're gonna regret that later um yeah i saw ox jones i was just like i hadn't and i know
it's not that big of a deal but it's my first time actually seeing him at a restaurant or anywhere
and i was just like oh oh, there he is.
And he's talking.
Were you with me and Matt's when we saw him?
No.
I thought Dave was.
I was.
I didn't see him.
Yeah, I've never I've never.
If I if I saw Alex Jones out in public, I would just think that's a really sweaty dude.
I don't I don't really do.
I don't know if I would put it.
You would recognize Alex.
Unless I heard him talking.
I don't think I would differentiate him from somebody else.
So his voice is. I don't think this is is a surprise it is just as loud and it carries i mean that's
how he got my oh you heard him talking turner yeah he's with a young a young child and a lady
who i assume is a love interest i don't want to jump to conclusions but um yeah he was talking
and i was just like dude you are the same person. He is a wide load, by the way.
I know Duda is the original wide load.
This dude is a wide load.
Yeah.
Kind of got a bullfrog body, lower body, a little thin.
Like Jeremiah?
Like a bullfrog just standing up walking around.
Right.
You know what I'm talking about.
Saturday Night Wedding was a great time. I did not have you doing Joy to the World references on today's podcast.
Randy liked it.
Really good stuff from Dylan.
I heard him.
This is the first musical reference that Dylan's made in a really long time.
They didn't even get it.
No, I was thinking about my next statement.
No one cares about your next statement.
You know who's going to be happy about that, Ref?
Who?
My mom.
She loves that song.
Let's go.
Shout to Nance.
I pulled one of the most underrated moves you can do at a wedding.
So it was Rock a tux.
It was a black tie.
Hey, you kind of swagger jacked me.
Everyone's been talking about it.
You kind of swagger jacked me, dude.
You wore my fit, my wedding fit to a wedding two weeks before my wedding.
I'm not going to wear it to your wedding, probably.
I'm just saying, dog.
Like, you kind of swagger jacked my shit.
Are you wearing the same tux?
Same shoes.
Oh.
Same suspendees. Different tux. Different color Same shoes. Oh. Same suspendees.
Different tux.
Different color tux.
Oh, that's fine.
The shoes were a big hit.
That leads me to my next point.
You want no socks?
Well.
Or no shoes?
Guys, hold on to your butts.
Show up there.
I wanted to feel it out.
I didn't really know.
You did.
You popped.
I didn't know.
You popped feet.
I went sock on during the ceremony then during the cocktail hour multiple people were like dude you gotta ditch the socks man
just let him go so uh i sat at a table and took my socks off and and uh realized i didn't really
want to carry them around in my pockets you told me why i threw the socks away fuck them god that's
bad boy shit yeah you could have just put it in your jacket pocket i didn't have a pair of socks i didn't know you had it
like that you can just throw socks they were like they were nine dollars drinking coffee out of
plastic cups and throwing away socks damn dude we're worried about i'm worried about your your
green initiative dude don't be worried they're recyclable they're biodegradable i buried them out back of the
hotel hey i should go no socks right i don't care uh if you need your input i wear no socks
at mine because i'm a fucking bad boy socks at mine i i don't the last time i don't remember
the last time i wore socks to a wedding i'm going no shows i mean you're not going to see
them they don't show no but dude what if what if they're the no shows and then we see them creeping
out of the loaf that's over no trust me i got low don't let barrett see i. They don't show. No, but dude, what if, what if they're the no-shows and then we see them creeping out of the loaf? That's over. No, trust me. I got low cut. I got low cut
no-shows. Barrett will never let you. Barrett was dragging someone off mic the other day for
having the no-shows showing. So just be careful, Dylan. Hey, um. That will not be me. I promise
you. Low key for the photos. You might just want to take those no-shows off. And they're the same
color as my shoes. Like even if you see like a little bit, you're not even going to know it.
Are you going to be mad if I wear that tux to your wedding?
Yes.
Because it's so dope.
It's not a black tie wedding.
Okay, but what if I wear a different tie?
I'll wear the tux, maybe no tie.
Or I just have it untied.
Did you tie your own bow tie?
I did.
And then someone retied it for me as it came loose because it was not well done.
We got a son who's in a developmental leap.
And trying to tie a bow tie as he's grasping
onto your leg screaming.
Is this the worst?
And you're trying to watch the YouTube video of the dude.
I taught myself in three minutes, man.
It's pretty it's it's actually easier to tie it on someone than it is tying it yourself,
I think.
But yeah, my bow tie game was was was tight.
That's about it.
Yesterday, I got up,
watched Hook for some reason.
We can stop there.
I don't want to hear anymore.
Okay, I'm sure people don't care about me
watching Hook.
No, no one.
You're not going to believe my take.
Check out my blog.
It's my sub stack,
my personal one.
D-Man?
Yeah.
Not subbies?
Sorry, man.
It's a day of joint.
That's okay.
Is there truth to people
calling you Hideo No-Show for your sock game? joint. That's okay. Is there truth to people calling you Hideo No-Show for your sock game?
Yeah.
That's right.
I like no socks.
I think I got a blister.
You should have gone low-cut No-Show.
I should have.
Didn't plan ahead.
Dumbass.
How about you, Will?
I didn't do shit this weekend.
As you guys know, I was sick.
So I was recovering from everything, which meant I just sat around and watched a lot of television uh yes i am pretty much all through the ultimatum one of
the wildest shows i've seen in a very long time and i got things to say about these people
they've finished the damn show finish the damn i watched it i went through three yesterday
i would have brought that up but dylan told me to stop someone's pregnant spoiler my review of my review of jackass
uh forever you're a freaking loser yeah that was shitty what you just did was shitty no it's what
you did what you just did was really shitty i'm rocking the shoe honestly what you just did there
is disgusting i'm very annoyed with you right now oh that got ruined for me yesterday and it made me
really mad because i've invested a lot of hours into this show. Oh, that was the spoiler?
Yeah, it was really cool of Dylan to do it right on air.
Oh, you don't even know who it is.
Oh, I mean, there's only,
I have a one in four chance of guessing.
Yeah, real hard to figure out.
Who cares?
It's one of the better reality shows I've watched.
Dude, that is so fucked up what you just did.
Oh, get out of town.
Dude, you can't do, like that is an ultimate spoiler.
Spoiler.
That's like a level one spoiler.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm going to spoil your wedding.
Okay.
I'm going to rock the same shoes as you.
You're going to get body bagged by my...
Where did you guys get these shoes?
Don't worry about it, bitch.
Okay.
I was telling people Gucci.
They're not Gucci.
Y'all see House of Gucci? Shut up dude just tell me tell me how it ends quit trying to deflect what's a real hey why don't you tell me how it ends man it's a real
story i'm gonna tell you yeah i'm gonna get pregnant i really do want to talk about it
maria it's yo gucci he was killed was murdered it's very sad murder for hire plot his wife
played by uh the very lovely lady gaga i heard
it was an absolute shit movie oh i liked it people were critics were panning it oh i liked it
speaking of pan money it's your go to all that just to beat up an old pirate come on
shme shme you're doing it dylan you're spoiling things for everybody movie's mid
it's not it doesn't hold up that well uh jackass forever i watched this on saturday night uh or
maybe friday night i think it was friday night i was inspired because i had not finished jackass
two which i started recently late at night.
And I finished Jackass 2.
The skit where they take, I think it's Raykeon.
Or no, it's somebody.
And they glue pubes to his face and then put him in a trunk of a car.
It's an all-time skit to the point where like it almost ruined Jackass forever for me
because no skits compared to that one.
Wait, is this the terrorist kidnapping one that I don't think you could do now
and felt very, very serious?
Well, I can't remember.
You could do it now.
The reason you could do it now
is because they didn't actually do the skit.
If they actually followed through on the skit
that they told them that they were doing.
They pranked the guy
who thought he was doing the prank.
Exactly.
So if the guy had actually followed through on the prank,
he would have been screwed.
I don't think it was Ray Keon because the only thing they do with rake yawn is just like give him mustard and he gets pissed oh yeah i forgot
he hates mustard nah by the way underrated condiment so i've been told was that a randyism
somebody said mustard's underrated yeah sorry it wasn't rake yawn it was aaron mckay he
mustard's fine but yeah jackass forever kind of it was Ray Keown. It was Aaron McKay. Mustard's fine.
But yeah, Jackass Forever.
It was a good movie.
I'm glad I saw it.
I'm going to miss Jackass.
Hey, man, don't tell me what the final... Any surprises, I'd like to maybe find them out on my own.
Let's hear from our friends over at Truebill, baby.
You guys know why free trials renew without your consent?
I can tell you why. It's because it's a business scam. I have to get you. Yeah. These things are just targeting you. friends over at true bill baby you guys know why uh free trials renew without your consent i can
tell you why it's because it's a business scam i have to get you yeah these things are just
targeting you people forget about that kind of stuff man a lot of people well people are letting
greedy corporations just pocket your money folks until now download true bill and take control of
your subscriptions true bill is a new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions
that you don't need want or simply forgot simply forgot about. On average, people save about $720 per year with Truebill. It's a
lot of money. That is a lot of money. You know, I'm a success story. Really? A Truebill success
story. Signed up for it, did everything, linked it to the account. Next thing you know, I'm seeing
stuff that I'd never even heard of that I'm paying for.
I'm like, I haven't done this.
I listened to a podcast on this platform two years ago and I'm still paying for it.
That's an L.
That's an L on me.
Thank God for Truebill.
No more.
Are you willing to share with us how much you're saving?
You know, I don't discuss my financial savings publicly,
but I will say it's a significant amount.
Enough to get a steak dinner at Randy's favorite restaurants.
Sloppy?
Can you slop them up?
Slop them up.
These companies, they know what they're doing, man.
They make these subscriptions hard to cancel,
and Truebill makes it incredibly simple.
Just link your accounts,
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Truebill.com slash circling.
I actually just signed up for Truebill.com.
What are you getting there?
You basically run your podcast through it,
and any podcast that Dylan's on,
it just takes him out of it completely.
That's so rude, man.
Why would you do that?
Just trying something out. It just it also works for true will just like two guys talking with uh some silence mixed in yeah yeah it's weird okay
so coachella's going on you guys aware of this yeah you see the tweet we i know you have because
we put it in the group but the guy who's like
my girl's been at coachella for a full day and her phone's off can't get a hold of her
the replies were not kind who's more down bad that guy who can't find his girl at coachella
or the the dude from 1948 on his hands and knees begging his wife not to leave him in the court
that made me sad someone said that uh her coachella is getting ran through
what's that i don't understand explain that one That made me sad. Someone said that her Coachella is getting ran through.
What's that?
I don't understand.
Explain that one.
We can just move on with Revolve Fest. I like the guy who said she belongs to the streets.
Well, at the same time as Coachella,
Revolve, noted fast fashion clothing company,
they throw Revolve Fest, which is an invite-only festival intended for influencers, celebrities, and douchebags alike.
Is this...
How did we not get...
I know.
We need on this list.
I'm a douchebag.
So this isn't part of Coachella.
This is a completely separate festival.
And they're not professionally linked, I don't believe, at all.
Different locations and everything.
Yes.
And there was some slander on the TL this past weekend saying that Revolve Fest might be turning into a Fyre Fest situation.
To which, I don't know about that.
Were they eating mayonnaise and lettuce sandwiches?
That sounds actually pretty good.
It doesn't.
Firefest is not a big deal.
There's no documentary
unless you have those photos
of the boxed lunches.
There was like a piece of bread.
Like an old tomato.
The little huts
were pretty incriminating too.
Those were.
If you compare what they actually stayed in
to what they pitched on them staying in,
it is very, very different.
But I think Dave is correct.
The food photos are what took it from being in the news cycle to being like, okay, what's going on here?
Best day and one of the best bullpen days at the old content.
Also, the musical acts didn't show up.
That's another big L that they took.
Well, your headliners don't show up.
That's an issue.
Yeah, Blink.
Blink backed out last minute.
Tom didn't want to do it.
Well, apparently, according to Los Angeles Magazine's Joseph Capsch, influencers were complaining about the conditions at Revolve Festival, which took place in La Quinta, California.
I believe that's the same place as that Bachelor was recorded.
Interesting.
Yeah, very cool.
It said, sources on the ground telling us there's apparently drama going down at revolve festival that's quote sinks to the level of fire fest influencers
stranded in the dirt with no water under the hot sun for hours waiting for buses that aren't coming
to bring them to the actual festival he continued to tweet alleged fights screaming everyone is dizzy. Why were they dizzy? It was too hot?
Get out of here. Need to wait in line?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Maybe the spin doctors are playing and they all got dizzy.
Influencers are so soft.
Little Miss can't be wrong.
Spin Doctors, underrated band. One of my first musical
interests.
From everything that I can tell,
I don't think there's any comparison here to Fyre Fest.
No.
First of all, they're not stranded on an island.
Yeah, they were stranded on an island.
I don't think anyone had to suck a hot one to get bottled water.
Ludicrous.
Glaring lack of ludicrous being involved.
Again, we're thinking Ja Rule here.
Ja Rule, of course, is his name.
Different artist.
No, dude, you're right, though.
Some people call him ludicrous.
They're not.
Do not disrespect ludicrous like that.
One of the most underappreciated artists in the last 20 years.
Glaring lack of Ja Rule, of course.
Murder.
Folks. Folks, the course. Murder. Folks.
Folks, the globalists are murdering.
They're different guys.
If you ever meet Louie, Chris, I hope he slaps you and says,
I'm not the guy who fucked up Fyre Fest.
Nah, me and Louie would be tight.
You confused him with Ja Rule.
Big deal.
I'm happy.
I'm very happy to report that i follow nobody that was publicly complaining
about this no influencers no nobody i follow one person who was at this and she did not complain
oh what's her name we talking sid simmy sweeney i saw she was there too why is she notable she's in that show that you watch
white lotus yeah i love i like you for us white lotus too give me season two of white lotus
now sweeney's won't be in it give me that that's okay she didn't make that show
honestly her storyline sucked yeah she was underutilized in the show they just didn't
need i mean i liked i like the dynamic because it took me back to my family vacations
where my sister was really mean to me.
Did she look like Sidney Sweeney?
No, no.
Much different.
One person said...
They talked to a security guard at Revolve Fest.
And he said, I don't know who the fuck these people are.
I don't know who is actually important, who is lying,
or if any of them are actually important.
That shouldn't matter when you're trying to get people out of the sun and like to a location.
Like, I mean, come on.
There's also, I saw in researching this story, they weren't just stranded in the middle of a desert.
There were like 10 stuff that they could stand under.
It was no doubt.
It was hot as it is the desert,
but they wasn't that bad.
In order to,
to fulfill your obligations to go to revolve fest,
you have to have six Instagram posts,
posts,
six Instagram stories,
three Instagram reels,
three tech talks,
and one integrated YouTube video.
That's a lot of stuff to go to Revolve.
Oh my God.
We had to do less for that.
When we went to the PGA Tour,
when we went to the Players Championship,
we had less deliverables than that.
That's wild.
A YouTube video.
You're bringing a camera crew with you?
I follow some people that went to Revolve Fest
and I will say that the Revolve Hotel
does look kind of dope. Like it looks pretty sick and it looks like it would be a good time,
but I also just don't want to go stay anywhere that has to do anything with music. If something
is sponsored by the music festival, if the sleeping accommodations are sponsored by the
music festival, I don't want to sleep in those accommodations because I think something's going
to go wrong.
That make sense?
Yeah.
They're more concerned about getting people beer and stuff and making sure the acts go on, everything like that.
They don't care about your little hotel room.
How long has this festival been happening?
How many years now?
A lot.
I feel like it takes several years to get in the groove
of putting on a festival.
You know?
A lot of trial and error goes on there a lot of logistical wayne stock did it year one true it didn't look good though that was fictional david
it almost didn't happen aerosmith showed up though day rage went fine day rage did not go
fine see that's a classic example right there. It was not a festival.
Was anyone S&D at Day Rage trying to get bottled waters?
I don't know, but I think 30 people showed up.
Didn't you have a wedding that day?
Day Rage didn't go well.
I did.
Luckily, I got to leave. Wasn't it Easter or Mother's Day?
It was Mother's Day weekend.
Also, like graduation weekend.
Is there any news on what's happened to the camel at Day Rage?
I hadn't heard, man.
Honestly, without the camel there,
that was the only saving grace of the whole situation.
Camel shows up.
Who was the person at Grand Exile that was like,
no, we need the camel.
We got to get the camel.
No, some random person brought a camel.
Oh, the camel wasn't a part of that in the beginning.
No.
I swear to God, we've talked about this and the that guy who i don't i didn't know was still listening to the
show and this is before that we were doing podcasts like message was like yeah i'm the
camel guy yeah he's probably like 33 now yeah yeah that was not part of the party he just some
dude just i like my camel in like y'all are like dude
we just we we need we've got a budget for this we need a camel if you could have okay please don't
bring a camel to our meetups we throw an event like that what animal what animal kangaroo jag
kangaroo because shout out dr mark he saw Valerio in the flesh over the weekend.
You can rent camels.
Not camels.
I'm sorry.
Kangaroos in Austin.
I know.
I tried to buy one.
We did.
You can rent petting zoos with kangaroos.
All right.
Since you spoiled a surprise for me, I'll spoil one for you.
We did rent some kangaroos for your wedding.
There will be kangaroos bouncing around your backyard. They're not allowed in. They're
actually the bartenders. They're officiating. They're keeping all the, they're keeping all
the busy, uh, mimosa packs and their little marsupial pouches. That's a terrible idea.
Checking IDs. It's just that one small one. Just checking IDs.
You don't have to be 21 to get into my wedding. We're going to put, we're going to put one at
the end of the aisle. We're going to put one at the end of the aisle.
It's not a club.
We're going to put one at the end of the aisle before Parks goes down as a ring bearer.
And he's just going to kick Parks down the aisle.
Why would you want that to happen?
Because he's going to go fly it.
Why are they so jacked?
I got another surprise for you.
Who's bringing up the rings?
Who's the ring bearer?
Parks?
We don't really have a ring bearer.
You have a ring bearer now.
We rented a grizzly.
That's how he sounds.
What happens if the bear goes after the kangaroos?
Might be hungry.
Get some entertainment.
Bear wins that fight.
Kangaroos get hard, but they're taking the L.
Kangaroo can throw hands, but it doesn't matter what a fucking bear.
That's just a big old bear.
How do kangaroos get so jacked
do they do they there's like a gym membership that i don't know about they i think they sun
their testicles they they eat grass leaves ferns flowers fruit and moss not a lot of gains in those
yeah there's no protein in that
david what why me you're the kangaroo out of this crew yeah you do have some kangaroo vibes to you David. Why me?
You're the kangaroo out of this crew.
Yeah, you do have some kangaroo vibes to you.
I'm fine with that.
Yeah.
What?
You got something to say?
I'm just looking at you.
Stop looking me up and down.
Well.
Stop being all kangaroo-like.
I kind of.
Not a kangaroo.
Yeah, you're kind of rooey. Kangaroo-off, dude. Oh. You're the kangaroo yeah you're kind of really kangaroo dude oh
david i'm fine with it you know what i don't hate this comparison didn't you guys previously call me
a what aren't i a stork in one of ricky prospers you chose are you the stork you chose i think it
was i don't see stork when i think of you. You kind of do have bird vibes, though.
Was it our good friend Crimson
who did a cool cat's painting
recently? I don't know who it was.
Are we sure of her? Yeah.
That was cool.
Yeah, I followed her because of it.
You're a pretty cool cat.
I cannot wait to show up to your wedding in a tux.
Oh, yeah.
Here it is.
A white tux.
Scatting.
And the C-A-T is capitalized.
I've seen that video.
Because we're cool cats.
Dude, chill.
Man, there's going to be a sax at the reception.
I know.
You've told us.
Another spoiler. How tight would it be if you didn't tell us there was going to be a sax at the reception. No, you've told us.
Another spoiler.
How tight would it be if he didn't tell us there was going to be a sax there and we showed up and there was a sax there?
I'm only telling y'all, though.
No one else knows.
Yeah, well, I'm going to start telling everybody.
Why would you do that? Because I have a big mouth, Dylan.
Once I know a secret, I can't keep it.
Yeah, you do.
Unless it's it.
The wedding I was just at had a gong.
You ruined it.
A gong at it.
A gong. Did they gong it when when the i was actually the gongest did it was it like a giant taco bell
commercial was there a gong at the kiss it was it was presented by taco bell did you see the
brand activation done by your girl doja cat last night no she did a brand activation mid-set at
coachella they're bringing back the mexican pizza
shut the fuck up pizza from mexico mexican pizza is trash yeah no sally sally went through a phase
of trying to make whole 30 mexican pizza and i had to quickly tell her that it was it was just
not good isn't that just like tostada well this is going to be controversial what i'm about to
say because i know you're a fan of it but it's like people were like I'm gonna make the healthy um Chick-fil-a nuggets or whatever oh no and it's
like just go to Chick-fil-a no no those work those actually work they're not bad those actually
the one time I tried it was just kind of a beating yeah well I don't do it
yeah yeah half the stuff I recommend cooking is not stuff that i'm actually doing so i can't vouch for whether or not it's easy or not well i won't be going to revolve fest and they've
invited us next year and i've i've turned them down on behalf of the pod honestly if they get
a bunch of bad pr and they get desperate and invite us next year like i'll probably go what
if swains is there again yeah what if your room connects to sweeney's room? Dave, are you interested now?
You pervert.
She's like, oh my gosh, there's like a kangaroo.
Stink.
Why are these guys listening to The Power of Love for the 10th time this weekend?
What you got in that pouch?
Jesus, dude.
You know, kangaroo pouch.
They're marsupials, Dave.
Yeah, she's like, why are these two normal dudes in a kangaroo staying next to me?
Will's a wallaby. No, I'm not, dude. I'm a beaver.
You're an otter, dude.
What am I?
We already talked about this.
I forgot what I am.
You're a little bitch.
That's rude.
You're a female dog.
Cool cat.
I did something the other day. Okay. Here we go. It's about to be pool season.
You know the old adage, if you can't tan it, tone it. Or if you can't tone it, tan it. Yeah. Yeah,
my balls are full. I don't have enough. It's been overcast lately and I don't have enough time. So I have to get in the gym now and i have to get toned baby and you know i stay strapped my 10 000 whenever i get in
there i'm not kidding when i say this and i i was actually saying this last yesterday at easter to
somebody 10 000 shorts are the most comfortable shorts i've ever worn i love them i also love
them i also wear them uh pretty much daily when I hit the gym.
I love them.
The fact that they have so many different styles and so many different ways that you can go about ordering these shorts
is just amazing to me.
You could go liner or liner less.
You can have different inseams,
and they've got a million different styles of shorts,
so you can just get whatever you want and hone in on it.
I'll mess around with the liner, but also I'll switch it up.
I'll go no liner on y'all. Y'all don't even know. Wow. Yeah. And I'm not sure if it's part of the copy, but
the shirts. Yeah. I also wear those. My favorite shorts have been without a doubt, no questions,
not even capping the session short. It feels like you're wearing nothing. They're the most
lightweight, comfortable shorts ever. I also enjoy the interval shorts. These things have pockets that can fit my cell phone
very well for a dog walks and walks with my son trying to get that, trying to get that cardio in.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I just love it. You can get them in five inch, seven inch,
nine inch, whatever you need. And of course these are always moisture waking, dry waking,
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Let's talk about nuts.
Excuse me? You want to get nuts what kind of nuts testicles oh corn nuts corn nuts are good man it's a good road road trip snack
going out corn nuts were huge in high school big they've been the same size i think the whole time
is it a part of their ad campaign to say corn nuts corn nuts what is that i don't i don't
understand i think it might have the more i think about it the more i think that it might have just
been something that we came up with in high school and just said all the time yeah it's real funny
corn nuts that's not a good ad too bad i wasn't that's not like Steve Carell. Cornuts.
Randy likes it.
Yeah, he's laughing.
Hey, you and your friends sound really cool.
We were.
Boy, Dylan, you would have hated.
You.
Both of us.
I know.
That photo that we, we'll post the one he's posted before.
Him and the boys.
I don't know how old you were.
I look like such posers. I look ninth grade year was posers please please the worst thing you could
like i mean i would have stuffed y'all in lockers no one even called us posers because we weren't
like that's the thing like it would have been the worst thing you could call us but we we didn't
know if you if that was the worst thing because we just straight up weren't posers
and brett doing in there man you're too distracted by brett you gotta let it go if that was the worst thing, because we just straight up weren't posers.
What's Brett doing in there, man?
You're too distracted by Brett.
You got to let it go.
He just opened the door.
He's just doing stuff.
Brett's allowed to exist without you commenting on it.
I think you should stop.
Let the man exist.
Man, I called him out for getting a two off.
Hey, Dylan, man.
What, dude?
I know you've had some issues with with testosterone as most men your age do. You know, I've been off Clomafine for a while. I know. And I meant to ask
like, um, you still working with those pale ass balls? Wow, dude. Hold on. Your, his, his balls are pale i don't tan my balls in this economy that's pretty crazy because uh
tan balls are back you want to hear a clip from tucker i do everyone wants to hear a clip from
tucker dylan texted me when he saw this live he was like dude you gotta see he's like you gotta
see this segment that my boy tuck just did t. T-Car. He calls him Big Tuck.
All right.
So Tucker, apparently, if you guys don't know, he's a cable news host, Fox News, I believe.
Used to be the bow tie guy.
Pretty controversial.
Pretty controversial.
Got some takes.
But if you had a podcast, you could call it Bow Ties and Botox.
It would probably do pretty well.
Yeah.
Sell ads for it.
In his new special on how to raise testosterone levels in men, Tucker has a guest on who suggests a different route than, say, your testosterone therapy.
Let me just say this.
This ain't your grandma's testosterone therapy.
Let's take a listen.
My testosterone therapy is the reason I'm still alive today.
Grandma, your T is just spiking.
I have chest hair.
Okay.
Let's hear it, Dave.
You saw in the clip there, if you want to optimize and take it to another level,
expose yourself to red light therapy.
Yes.
And the juve that we were using in the documentary.
There's a massive amount of that.
Which is testicle tanning.
It's testicle tanning,
but it's also full body red light therapy,
which has massive amount of benefits.
And there's so much data out there
that isn't being picked up on or covered.
So obviously half the viewers right now are like,
what, that's testicle tanning?
That's crazy.
But my view is okay
testosterone levels crash and nobody says anything about it that's crazy so why is it crazy to seek
solutions it's not crazy to seek solutions and i think um i was recently exposed to a term called
bromeopathy and i think there's a lot of people out there right now that um are don't trust the mainstream information and they're
taking you saw amen brother bromeopathy yeah you know what he's got to take that out of his
vocabulary no i'm okay i don't think this would have caught on i think people would have still
mocked it but dude you can't don't say bromeopathy if you're trying to promote this holistic thing
bromeopathy just makes me think of like just some clickbaity article.
We would have ran on like TFM back in the day or something.
Absolutely.
Yes.
Are you,
are you a believer in this day?
Are you going to give it a shot?
Do we have a commenter called little Bromeo?
You know what?
I will tan my testicles.
Yes,
I will.
Do you have actual information regarding the benefits
of tanning your testicles? So here's the thing. There's a, there's Dave is doing a deep dive over
here. He's very, I think the, the, the biggest way to do the best way to do it. If you are
inclined to increase your testosterone via light on your testicle testicles, um, is through a red
light therapy. And he pronounced that, that the Juve,
the J O O V V, which is, um, I don't know, just a red light wall that you can just take red light
therapy with. Um, I found a men's health article written about four years ago from a guy who maybe
we've mentioned on the show, Ben Greenfield. He was a, used to be a frequent Rogan guest,
weird, right? Um, and his whole thing is like, anytime like shit like this pops up, like where
it's like biohacking or optimization, he tries it and then he writes about it for whatever
publication that's contracting him. And, uh, he did this and I just wanted to read a little bit of, um, his experience tanning his testicles
with infrared light. Um, let's see the rest. Oh yeah. The rest of the morning, my crotch felt warm
alive. So I did it again, glancing out my office window to make sure the lawnmower guy wasn't
tooling around in the grass. I pulled down my drawers and bathed myself in the heavenly warm
tingly glow this time for eight minutes that night my
wife and i made love admittedly i felt well unique a unique heavenly warm tingly grow my glow in my
crotch nice nice nice oh here we go 20 minute okay after this 20 minutes mission complete that
that night was date night and i was a rock star. I sat at dinner, horny, my penis pulsing, staring across the table at my wife,
and feeling as though I'd popped a couple Viagra.
Later, I blew the biggest load I could recall in recent memory.
Oh, my God.
Men'sHealth.com.
Is there a recommended tab on this article?
This is bullshit.
Man, these guys are just roast.
This is bullshit.
These guys are getting extra roasted corn nuts
that's not catching on dude i don't know i don't know
wait who is it was a person being quoted here just some random bank greenfield he is uh
go check out his instagram he's i he's a really he's really annoying on podcasts i'll just say
okay there's a there's like one
listener out there who knows who he is and we dm about him occasionally because he's just
ridiculous human if the first way to describe yourself on wikipedia is being a biohacker
i just you and i are on different waves i'm not hacking the bio oh god i'm a lincoln bio this guy stinks man look if if if sunlight has the same effect
on your testicles if i can bump my t up just from doing that you can catch me in the backyard
with the blanket laid out on my back in a happy baby pose i want to hear the science i want to
hear the science behind it you know no i don't want just some like some influencer douchebag on instagram be like yeah it works i'm
busting big loads i want to know like why it's happening what you mean some studies i know but
just the casual nature of how you just said that was concerning to say the least
there was a study done in 1939 on this okay you know do you know a former ranger great gabe capler now the manager of uh where is he
now he's not in philly he's the best looking guy in baseball he's hot well he said john rocker was
stop john rock yeah dylan said he had good neck oh yeah he's uh with the giants now didn't say that oh whatever baseball um no there there is some science that that there's something i don't know
it i don't know how it works you know testosterone is produced through your testes in some capacity
right sure just get a little sun maybe the vitamin d vitamin d is important you get that from light
and you get that directly on the balls in that clip he said there's uh data out there to suggest this is working where's the data
share it with us you know what i mean i want to know about it well this guy kind of uh i think
he the reason he didn't spend much time on that because there's probably not a lot yeah like i
want to know like yeah I measured at this level,
then I did this testicle tanning therapy for a month,
and now I'm like through the roof.
I want to see the numbers, show them to me.
Why is Tucker Carlson so concerned
about the horniness of these dudes?
He's concerned about the...
The pussification of America?
Exactly, yeah.
He's obsessed with men being pussies these days.
All they're doing is like the dude wore a
boat the dude made his name wearing a bow tie he talks about masculinity and alpha male shit all
the time like he's obsessed with he's obsessed with alphas yeah like y'all's y'all's alpha king
wore a bow tie and was like a fill-in guy who's y'all he's talking about y'all just the general
y'all well i mean some people are into tucker carlson sure hey did you guys see that tucker carlson segment my loads
are gonna be huge i'm gonna have huge loads now well i'm dylan i'm i'm allowing you an out any
any bet any bet that may be the tattoo bet i don't remember the circumstances. We need you to do some
tanning, some testicle tanning, and
we need you to measure your...
Look, if testicle tanning will increase
your testosterone levels, I don't need to lose
a bet to try it. I will just straight up do it.
You're going to tan your balls. I'm just not a believer.
I want to see
some real scientific evidence
to suggest it's working and it's not
harmful. Then I'm trying. Which position would you tan in? On the back or would you do like a hand to see some real scientific evidence to suggest it's working and it's not harmful then i'm then
i'm trying which position would you tan in on the back or would you like do like a handstand i would
just point it up and stand over it like spread my legs and stand over it you're standing you're
going to stand tan i'm going to do a full tuck and lay on my stomach maybe i can get my my two hole at the same time you know people tan their two holes too well you tried it if you can't tone it tan it that's right that's right well you're saying
red light is better than sunlight but whatever who's no i don't have a red light machine at home
why don't you buy one i got that check engine light in my car that I can't get to turn off.
Why'd you say that?
You have it?
I have a check engine light that like... It's the worst.
I wasn't even the one driving the car when it came on.
My dad was the one driving and I can't get my car inspected because it has the check engine light on right now.
And I have to go to the dealership on Thursday, which is out of loaner cars,
which means I'm probably just going to spend about six hours sitting at the dealership on thursday which is out of loaner cars which means i'm probably just going
to spend about six hours sitting at the dealership while they work on my car and i'm like why am i
doing that like what are we doing here guys you just don't get it inspected man i have a theory
that they're not pulling people over in tech in austin right now for like expired registrations
on their cars because you just can't like it's just everything is backed up right now everything
whatever no one gives a fuck the fact that you i
do this is just a huge huge red flag on this state in general my registration is out registration
yeah i'm driving i don't want to do it no no it's a scam registration is a scam why don't we just
stop doing it why don't we just march on the capitol what if everyone stopped doing it all
right let's mark a date everybody let's mark a date let's so we have enough time to to coordinate all the people and stuff i think on let's do it
like months out let's do like january let's do like a week after new year's when everyone's back
in the swing we'll do like january 6th we'll all gather together at the capital down uh on south
congress or congress try to get inside yeah and we get inside, and we'll talk to them about this,
and we'll figure it out.
Good dude, I'll for sure meet you there.
We can ride the e-bike down there.
I'll ride on the pegs.
Have you been on it yet, bitch?
You're too scared.
You're too scared.
I rode it like three houses down.
I did a tail whip when I first got on it.
Dad got up to four miles per hour on that thing.
It was sick.
That thing's got some go.
Sick.
Giddy up. up look he's getting
tucker's getting a lot of blowback for this segment but i think the science ultimately
is going to prove him right and i think we need we need more guys just with just horrible
just oozing testosterone just out there doing alpha shit like cutting wood shirtless chopping it up doing mowing lawns will i don't know why i don't have
a lawn how am i supposed to mow my lawn yeah it's fair when's your long guy gonna do your backyard
before your wedding um friday should we put like a design in it you won't be there when it happens
we're gonna fork your lawn let's get it let's make let's get let's get the guy that's doing
his lawn to do it in like a qr code and then like be like dude dylan has an activation at
his wedding what the hell what will a qr code lead to arby's. Five for five. We've got the meats. Back for a limited time.
I would kill for that to come back.
Why?
Do you need five sandwiches that bad?
Because no one believes me that I ate five.
I did the entire five for five all in one sitting.
I did it.
I did it once.
I'm impressed.
Man, you just get off my fucking meat wave.
This is my meat wave.
Dude, after high school soccer practice,
if I wasn't spending 20 there at like
a fast food restaurant then i wasn't getting full that's too many sandwiches except arby's who does
five for five do you think five is too many from one person sure catch me just stuffing roast beef
sandwiches in my mouth my fucking balls out getting tan as fuck fags what randy we're really
close to the mcdonald's now too dude close to everything
now i don't know that's the uh dude they've sold billions yeah that's the prime time mcdonald's
what do you mean it's just people know it's like dion owns that i know where you'll go in there
there's serious hitters in there their ice cream machine is out i know that because i took bae by there recently and they're like sorry
she was craving one dog they just didn't they didn't feel like leaning it probably i've been
there dude i didn't work at the thing with mcdonald's it's always out i know you know i
know a lot about how they make their ice cream because uh we took a field trip to go watch the
founder starring michael keaton and then I wrote a column about it.
And to this day, I think 2,600 people have read it.
So that's very cool.
You crushed that column though, man.
It was a good column.
It was good.
If you've seen the movie, it's funny.
It was all right.
It's one of my better ones.
Don't look it up.
I've already entered the Google stuff.
Important business lessons I learned from Ray Kroc.
Dude, that picture is great.
Michael Keaton was really good in that movie.
Your friends are trash.
Get rid of them.
That is a tip that you give.
Steal that one guy's wife.
He did that.
No spoilers, but he does it during a scene at a nice piano bar in a hotel.
We haven't done a real or fake in a long time.
Do you guys have any issue with me
wanting to do a real or fake TFM headlines at some point?
Yeah.
I bet Dylan does.
That sounds really funny.
My concern is that you approved way too many of these headlines
and you will be too good at it.
One of the lessons that Dave learned is leave your wife
if she's not trying to reach baller status.
That's true.
Don't let her.
I get it.
That's a good point.
You need a down-ass bitch.
If I married Sally and she was like,
I think I'm going to revert to a small baller lifestyle,
I'd be like, whoa.
It's like Jim being like,
hey, maybe I don't want to do this paper salesman job that I hate.
Maybe I want to go do sports marketing in Philly.
And Pam's like, oh, but I like it here. And he's like, well hate maybe i want to go do like sports marketing in philly and pan's like oh but i like it here and he's like well i'm gonna go there and then she's like well i might have an affair with the camera guy you know what milkshakes may bring boys to the
yard but powder and water bring daddy less overhead that's a good line dave did i write
that you sure did dude i used to be funny i was better what happened to you i don't know just fucking age you used to be everybody. I was better back in the day. What happened to you? I don't know.
Just fucking age.
You used to be everybody's favorite on this podcast.
I know, dude.
My balls got pale.
Oh, pale balls?
Yeah.
Your balls got too pale, man.
My balls was pale.
11 comments, though.
Hell yeah.
That's not a lot.
That's not a lot.
Who got the top comment?
Brian McGannon.
Oh, there you go.
34 upvotes.
He said, you need to play to win but you
also have to win to play that's a quote from michael scott that's right it is again congratulations
what's the pipeline look like for someone who wants to go from paper sales to sports agent
who will love to comment too what i say thank you will i generous i for one enjoyed it as someone
who went in knowing zero% of the story,
it went in a much different direction than I originally anticipated.
Great comment, Will.
Thank you.
Will's trying to facilitate serious discussion.
I think I was doing a bit.
No, I think Will realized that the column was failing.
He was like, all right, maybe if I go in there and mix it up.
He was throwing Dave a bone there.
Yeah, it didn't work.
That's funny.
I wasn't trying to.
Was I obligated to do that column?
No, we just thought it was funny.
We did think it was funny.
You guys know what, hear about this kratom stuff?
Oh, yeah.
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Of course.
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and super speciosa only has one ingredient pure kratom leaf dylan could you speak to about kratom
real quick for for a player yes uh my mother um i've been i've shared this in the past my mother
who has lyme disease uh takes kratom pretty routinely as her condition really just drags her down.
She has extreme fatigue all the time.
But the super speciosa, it really just gives her a lift, makes her energetic.
It kind of helps her get through her day, improves her quality of life a bit.
So it can give you a little more courage, can help you out a little bit.
You can run the extra mile,
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And for beginners,
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slash steam use promo code steam for 20 off we talked briefly about the new studio
we've been in here this is our first morning in here i was a little giddy walking into the office
today dude i i legitimately was smiling to myself and laughing.
And I was just like, man, I'm very happy to be here.
Yeah, I am too.
We're kind of in the scene.
Yeah, the vibes have changed.
Vibes have shifted in a much more positive direction, I think.
We've gone from an office that was a good starter office for us.
It got the job done.
It wasn't pretty, but it got the job done. And't pretty but it got the job done and i finally
feel like we're in a space that actually is very appropriate for what we're doing in life and it's
kind of weird i almost feel like we're not fully in this place yet like i i feel like we still have
like we have quite a bit to do still no but like just talk like i i haven't resolved myself to
knowing that i'm going to be here every single day. Yeah.
Kind of horned for it.
No, it's going to, when it starts to come together, and it will pretty quickly, I think.
We have some things to get rid of, some new things to,
I'm guessing desks that are coming that are going to be great.
The blood couch.
The blood couch we're getting rid of.
But it's going to be pretty nice in here.
Randy. Cozy in here. Randy.
Cozy and fun.
Randy, does your mic work?
It should.
It should, he said.
Great.
Speak into it.
Let's find out.
This is a test.
It's not the time to test.
This is the big show.
Is it working?
It might work.
If it doesn't work.
I heard you do the speaker.
People are just going to have to deal with it.
Randy, where are we in terms of the actual studio?
What percent done are we?
And what,
what changes can we see going forward?
Oh,
we're like 10% done.
Perfect.
Yeah.
We have a lot more to go right now.
We have a very rudimentary setup.
We do.
Fine with me.
I'm a rude boy.
Look,
we had to record.
You know what I mean?
Way to get in here.
It looks better than I envisioned. The setup setup randy did you hang the curtains yourself good very impressive good
job did you use a drill randy yeah we have a wall to put in yeah earlier a guy walked in from
i think amazon he delivered a package and he just walked straight in basically to the studio.
Not quite, but it was distracting.
We got to fix stuff like that.
He just walked straight into the door and just fell down.
We walked straight in, he's like,
what do I do with this box?
Like, I don't know, set it outside.
Let me tell you this, the wall that we put in
will not be load bearing.
Why?
I just don't think it's going to serve that utility.
I think it's going to be more of just like a barrier from the studio to what will be the bullpen,
but is now the blood couch.
I think Dave's on to something here, yeah.
Now that we have all the furniture and stuff in here,
this place feels smaller than I originally thought.
Hey, when are the desks getting here?
Hard to say.
Hard to say. Hard to say.
Yeah. For the first time in WASH Media history, we're going to have something very exciting in
the studio, in the office itself. Desks. Bullpen. We're going to have a bullpen area. Headlines,
it's going to be nonstop. I want to do headlines on Wednesday. Please let us do headlines on
Wednesday. Shut up. Why? Can't we just do headlines on Wednesday shut up why why can't we just do headlines on Wednesday headlines headlines headlines we're gonna do some original headlines dude that sounds
great headlines Dylan that's a tease right I'm so excited to be in here man can I do Brett's breaking
news real quick on behalf of Brett did you see the text he just sent us?
No.
We've got a new match.
Oh, yeah.
I'm in on this.
I'm not.
I'm not.
This time we're not doing pros.
We're doing Brady and Rogers versus Josh Allen and Mahomes.
I don't care.
I don't care at all about this.
I will watch this.
I will not.
I don't really care about watching amateurs play on television
unless they're paired with a pro.
You know I like amateurs as much as the next guy.
And that's why I'll be watching this.
I will not.
You are a verified amateur guy.
Only verifies.
I just don't, like, do I care that much about, like,
a bunch of quarterbacks playing a golf round against each other?
I do because I think it would be cool to see.
I don't really care about Brady and Rodgers,
but Josh Allen and Mahomes obviously played, like,
the best game of all time in the AFC Championship.
It would be cool to see their chemistry.
I don't know.
Oh, I just saw a follow-up story. It looks like Mahomes is having his time in the AFC Championship. It'd be cool to see their chemistry. I don't know. Oh, I just saw a follow-up story.
It looks like Mahomes is having his brother on the bag for him.
Dude, he'd be hitting that shit.
I'd be more likely to watch if Jackson was out there.
Do we know where they're doing this this year?
Because the setting makes a big difference.
When they did the Montana one last year around 4th of July time,
the setting
for that was all time i'm assuming it's vegas again because the the branding has um oh win
las vegas yep vegas baby yeah i was hoping they were gonna do kaiser winning
winning
i think charlie sheen if he was mover, he would get tiger blood on our couch.
Possibly, yeah.
We can leave.
We've been going for a while.
There could be some kangaroo blood on the couch.
What did you just read that made you look so concerned?
Literally nothing. Are you okay? Yeah. Are you okay? I are you okay right folks we're boycotting the match this year i didn't see the tweet you wrote
about me well yeah i didn't i wanted to get ahead of it before i forgot not cool man i agree it was
very uncool of you to spoil that show for thousands of people out there oh all right well
dad pod tomorrow on, patreon.com
slash circling back podcast. We'll be fielding all the questions.
We got some other stuff too that aren't just
questions from y'all for DadPod, so just keep an eye
out. And yeah,
we'll see you later. Bye. you