Circling Back - Scorched Earth Tom Cruise & Jet Ski Hail Marys
Episode Date: December 16, 2020Tom Cruise goes scorched earth on the set of Mission Impossible because people aren’t following COVID protocols, a dude in the UK jetskiied for 4+ hours to see a girl mid-lockdown, Prince Harry laun...ches a podcast with Meghan Markle, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:05) Tom Cruise Goes Scorched Earth (34:04) Horny UK Jet Ski Trip (50:20) Being A Royal vs. Hosting A Podcast (59:10) This Weekend in Fun (1:06:30) Will’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors: Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (first refill free!) Poncho: www.ponchooutdoors.com (CIRCLINGBACKGIFT for free hat or t-shirt) Sun Basket: www.sunbasket.com/steam (STEAM for $35 off) Miller High Life: Celebrate Responsibly, Miller Brewing Co., Milwaukee, WI --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is
will defries to my right dave ruff what it do will how you feeling i felt better to be honest
you uh don't comment on this before the pod but you you just
come in wearing some sweatshirts that no one has ever seen no man you my my crew neck my crew neck
collection is stupid thick is that like a soccer club in the la liga that's what that's the questions
that i want people to ask why did you ask me how i was going to explain to you how i was feeling
really sick and like now you're not even oh i thought you're feeling like sick no what's wrong with you bitch we should know if
you're sick that would be helpful no no i'm not sick but i i tried to get some some build-up out
of my ears last night and i think i might have gone too far you gotta be careful with that did
you do that did you stick a candle in your ear or a glizzy and light it on fire i didn't do the
glizz i didn't do the glizzy pull like some people recommend. Did you do the, what's that thing called?
You squeeze water into it?
That thing?
Nah.
Rubber ducky.
No.
No.
No, I literally just laid on my side
and Sally poured hydrogen peroxide in my ears
and then I tried to clean them out a little bit
because I was having some kind of weird issue.
Remember the other day when I told you how dizzy I was?
I think something's messed up in my dome.
Dude.
Dylan, you had that problem too.
You said you kept getting dizzy.
Never mind.
You're glizzy is what you kept getting.
Back to that, Will.
It's two in a minute.
I don't even want to respond to that.
Don't respond to it.
Don't acknowledge it.
I wasn't getting glizzy.
You were getting glizzy.
Yeah, so I don't know.
But now I just have earaches in both ears, so that's good.
I really fixed the problem here.
Dude, I think I have a – wait, what's the thing called that Jason Day has?
Vertigo?
I have a tinge of vertigo.
I'm pretty sure.
Oh, look.
Here we go.
Dude, I'm not kidding.
You're going to have to withdraw from the pod?
At very weird moments, I will just lose my sense of balance.
It's really strange.
I hope it just falls out of his chair mid-pod.
I hope not. Just a tinge of it, like i'm not here i mean just me and you actually
might be good yeah that's pretty rude uh i got vertigo once in my life senior year this is a
true story i was at home and my girlfriend at the time was coming over before she got over i just
got really dizzy and i had to lay
down on the couch and like she got there and she thought i was faking it because i didn't want to
talk to her i love that were you no you can just tell us real tell us not now she might have caused
a vertigo but it was pretty funny spending lots of dough yeah i think I have it, man. I'm diagnosing myself here. We're not doing R. Kelly.
And canceled.
Is he fully canceled?
Yeah.
So, like, if someone puts on an R. Kelly song at a wedding.
You still bop to it.
I don't know if you do.
You bop. You uneasy bop to it.
Like, you kind of are, like, looking around bopping.
Yeah, it's like, is it okay to bop to this?
I'm going to boo the next DJ that puts on R. Kelly at a wedding.
Didn't you say you were with somebody who did that?
What, booed them?
Somebody in our circle was at a bar, and someone they were with complained at the DJ when they played an R. Kelly song.
Really?
No.
Okay, I'm a Karen, but I'm not that much of a Karen.
You can still bop to Michael Jackson's music, right?
Great question. Because he's got some heat in the catalog
Yeah, he's Michael Jackson, he's the king of pop
He's got some fucking heat
Yeah, we know
Most people are familiar with the heat
But a troubled past
Controversial figure
Why, what'd he do?
What'd he do?
What'd he do, baby?
What'd he do?
You have to ask other people.
I don't know.
Okay, I can look it up.
He had a sham marriage to Madonna.
You think it's a sham?
Do they actually get married?
I don't know.
Madonna?
Yeah.
And Michael Jackson?
Yeah.
Are you thinking of...
No, he definitely had a fling with Madonna.
Priscilla Presley?
Is that her name?
Oh, it might be, actually.
Fuck.
Lisa Marie.
Priscilla's the mom. I don't know? Oh, it might be, actually. Fuck. Lisa Marie. Priscilla's the
mom. I don't know.
Lisa Marie, I believe, is the daughter.
They announced their
weird-ass marriage on the MTV Music
Awards or something like that.
Madonna was never connected to Michael Jackson.
Yes, she was.
You ready for this?
Naked Madonna scared
Michael Jackson so much it put him off women, says friend Mark Luster.
No.
Dude, what?
No, you're being ignorant.
Imagine you scare someone to the other side with your naked body.
The world was shocked.
That's an L.
That's a huge L.
That's not ideal.
She revealed that they had shared a steamy kiss after she made the first move,
but any form of romance was short-lived.
Madonna loosened up Michael Jackson with a glass of wine before she made a move on him.
Oh, it's not compliant.
No, it's not compliant, but if someone does that to me, I'm okay with it.
Madonna offers you a glass of wine.
If Sally's pouring me a glass of wine,
I'm like, okay, let's do this.
If early 90s Madonna's offering you wine,
you take the glass of wine.
Her list of people that she's been romantically connected to is long.
And that's not shaming her at all.
That's kind of tight.
She was the sexual icon of the 90s.
She was a sex symbol, absolutely.
I always hated it when people called like women's
sex pot she was a sex that grosses me out sex bomb sex bomb for the what's your what's your
favorite Madonna song stop your dude your voice you have range. I wish your vertigo would kill you. You have no range. That was fucking beautiful.
You have no range.
That was so good.
Mine is, my favorite Madonna song is Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
Yeah, Dave, go.
Mine's Meet Me in the Middle.
It meant that you know who actually sings it before you get people messaging you.
What?
Girls Just Want to have fun.
I just said Madonna.
But it's not.
I don't care.
No, she's the one who does it.
She's not.
If she did it, it would be a better version.
For sure.
I'm looking at Madonna. That's the thing about girls, though.
They just want to have fun.
Y'all know that, right?
Not the girls I hang out with.
They're all duds.
Yeah, same, honestly.
It's just like, what's your problem?
I'm trying to have fun here.
Let loose one time.
Do you remember the Take a Bow video where she had the love affair with the matador?
It was like an actual matador, and it was really steamy.
No.
The song was trash.
I have no clue what you're talking about.
If you were watching MTV
mid-90s,
you've seen it.
I know you've seen it.
If you saw this, dude.
Okay.
Like a Prayer
is her best song.
Like a Prayer?
Yeah, that's fact.
Just like a prayer,
I want to take you.
Oh, yeah,
that song goes, man.
Good call.
Yeah, good call. Yeah. It just absolutely slaps every single time. That song goes, man. Yeah. Good call. Yeah. Good call.
Yeah.
It just absolutely slaps every single time.
That is a good song.
Yeah.
Man, do you want to do some official business before we hop in?
I kind of just want to keep talking Madonna and Michael Jackson.
I don't hate it.
But whatever.
I like Vogue.
Yeah, you would.
Who's more iconic?
Prince and Carmen Electra or Madonna and Michael Jackson?
Wait, did Prince actually...
He just named her.
Yeah, he just named her.
He probably dated her.
It was more intimate than actually hooking up.
If Madonna was the queen of sex of the 90s, then Prince was the king of sex in the 90s, right?
I don't know.
It's Prince.
He was a prince.
Prince.
Man, R.I.P.
That dude could absolutely shred the guitar.
Yeah, he could.
He's like 4'11".
Shots of our short kings out there.
When he brought out the guitar and did the Eruption solo on that one album.
It was Eddie Van Halen.
I'm kidding.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
You know the Eruption?
Dave's digging into, like, missing.
Eruption.
Yeah.
Miscrediting music.
He's a world-renowned guitar player.
Eddie Vedder?
Yeah, he really is, yeah.
Not Eddie Vedder.
Maybe Eddie Vedder.
Left-handed.
Yeah.
Like Jimi Hendrix.
Yeah, but Jimi played it upside down.
Like Paul McCartney.
Is he? Ooh. Like Paul McCartney. Is he?
I think so.
Let's just do the rest of the pod and Paul McCartney.
Did you see him at ACL?
Were you with us?
I wasn't with you, but I did see him.
He does the same little face moves and mannerisms that he's done for 50 years.
Yeah.
He was kind of great.
Which is cool.
Yeah, it was a good show.
I mean, he did a lot of the wing stuff, which, you know, controversial to say the least.
I enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it.
I like the early Beatles stuff.
My Beatles fandom kind of is, this is going to sound super hipster, but first five songs maybe.
Before they got into Sgt. Pepper stuff.
I'm like old school black and white Ed Sullivan.
Like I want to hold your hand shit?
I like that.
It's quick and easy and it's fun.
Not your boy.
It's poppy.
Give me that drug shit they started doing.
I only like the deep cuts.
That's it.
Which one though specifically?
They're so deep.
There's no point even saying it.
You never heard of it.
It's interesting because they say the first cut is the deepest. No, that point even saying it. You never heard of it. It's interesting because I say
the first cut is the deepest.
No, that was Sheryl Crow.
Married to
Lance Armstrong at one point. Yeah, he
dumped her when she got cancer. Is that true?
Isn't it?
You should look that up.
You know he got cancer.
He had most notable cancer.
Okay, if it wasn't her, he definitely left one of his wives when they got cancer.
Are you thinking of Newt Gingrich?
Nope.
I'm thinking of Lance Armstrong.
I wish Brett was here to fact check this right now.
Yeah, his name's been thrown in the mud for a lot of things.
I was not familiar with this one.
No one could have predicted the start to this podcast.
No one.
No one what?
It's your fault you're so fucking horny today.
I'm talking about MJ and Madonna.
I don't think that makes me horny, really.
Jeez.
Just because girls want to have fun, you're like jumping all over my shit.
Maybe it was that he had cancer and she was with him,
and then he dumped her when he was done with his cancer.
Oh, he dumped her when he got healthy.
And then was like, all right, I'm famous now.
I'm going with Cheryl.
That sounds right, but I don't know.
I'm still not positive what I said was incorrect,
but if people want to fact check it, they can.
I don't really care.
Are you ready for the Austin run-in that one of us will have
when we run into Rogan eating dinner
with Lance Armstrong and possibly McConaughey.
And like Ricky Williams?
I mean, maybe.
I don't know if Ricky gets that invite.
Ricky's smoking pot with Joe at some point.
That's a great point.
It's actually a good tie-in.
I think he might have quit, though.
That's lame.
I liked it better when he
quit football and moved to that shack in California
to sort of burn and not concern him when nobody wants to.
I love Ricky Williams. I do, too. My favorite UT
athlete of all time. One of my favorite.
One of the worst produced 30 for 30s that's ever existed,
but still one of my faves. He's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry. I forgot where I was going.
Head over to washedmedia.shop. We've got a ton of stuff still up there.
Also, Sunday Scaries Candle is still available if you want to get them before Christmas.
You've got to order by Friday.
Vellabox.com slash Sunday Scaries. Go check it out.
Also, go follow Circling Back Pod and Washed Media on the Grom.
I just realized this is two episodes in a row where I didn't fade out the
theme music. I'm just letting it ride unintentionally. Not to brag. Also, go check out
youtube.com slash washed media. We put up a video of our Christmas party recap called Pulling Back
the Curtain. It was fun. We had fun doing it. Go check it out.
You never intro'd me, by the way.
Cool, dude.
Also, after this episode, we're doing Wednesday Bachelor episode.
And then Friday, as always, we're doing voicemails.
Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
Again, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
Get in, get out for just $5 a month.
Or if you want all the content, it just five bucks a month or if you want
all the content it's ten dollars a month either way we appreciate your business before we realize
what we should let the people know too if bachelorette's not their thing but bachelor is
it starts in like three weeks yeah yeah like so just hold on and i i cannot wait for this new
bachelor season because it's going to be so much more elevated in their content compared to this season.
They actually get to do shit.
Do they?
It looks like it.
They're definitely not just sitting at La Quinta taking, like, plastic cabs.
That is the worst.
That's the worst, the lowest moment in Bachelor history.
I'll say it.
Embarrassing.
They had to get creative, Dave.
Go to La Quinta. La Quinta Inn. No'll say it. Embarrassing. They had to get creative, Dave. They went to La Quinta.
La Quinta Inn.
No.
On the side of a highway.
Matt's season, you can tell they at least figured out ways that they could go somewhere
besides a 40-yard range at La Quinta.
It's just depressing.
They should have at least gone down to the resort and hit some golf balls.
Chris is just living down there.
It's too hot on the range, though.
Just a sweat box. Yeah. A little hot. A little hot on the range, though. That was a sweat box.
A little hot.
A little hot last night.
Save it.
Save it.
Save it.
Let's talk about Quip real quick.
We're all Quip boys at this point.
Mine's murdered out.
Well, he's too.
Parks is a Quip boy now, too.
Really?
Yeah.
That's huge.
I mean, there's a lot of different things that I love about Quip.
They're toothbrushes, but recently they have their new flossing.
I mean, this thing is dope.
It's a reusable floss pick.
Your teeth are looking good.
Your flossing game is strong.
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
I mean, plastic floss picks, they're just littered in the street.
People are flossing on the go.
Toothpicks at restaurants, all this stuff.
People are just getting stuff stuck in their teeth
all the time and it's just kind of gross
one out of every two people brush twice a day
and the same goes for flossing regularly
what type of person are you guys?
I'm the one
well you know Quip, the electric toothbrush
you hear about all the time, but it's their sleek
reusable floss picks
that you'll want to use next, the durable handle is easy to guide
it restrings with a click and comes with a compact mirrored dispensing case for on-the-go.
Plus, a single refill pod replaces over 180 single-use plastic flossers,
so it's better for your teeth and the environment.
You love to hear that.
Anytime you can couple up your teeth with the environment and make them both better, I'm for it.
It's cool that they decided to get on board with our green initiative.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And if you're not a pick person, they also have just refillable floss string that expands
to clean.
That's cool.
I don't know why you wouldn't be a pick person, but I'm not going to nitpick.
Are you like me and you can't go, like if you eat a pulled pork sandwich for lunch and
then you got somewhere to go, I can't go without flossing.
I can go without flossing, but I can't go without brushing.
I'm actually a post-coffee
brusher now, too.
So I'll sometimes brush twice in the morning.
That's a little much for me. It is, but I'm worried about stains.
What are you trying to prove, man?
I just want whiter teeth.
I don't have veneer money.
Like you, Dylan. Your fake-ass teeth.
I'm going to get one veneer right here.
Oh, no?
Yeah. Well, I hope you take care of it with a quip, Dylan. Your fake-ass teeth. I'm going to get one veneer right here. Uno? Yeah.
Well, I hope you take care of it with a quip, Dylan.
Obviously, Will.
I'm not a dumbass.
Sick brag.
I'm not a dumbass, dude.
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Better oral health made simple.
So Tom Cruise went off.
He certainly did.
What's this guy's deal?
He does his own stunts, you know that, right? The most exciting part of this for me is that they're making a Mission Impossible 7.
Did we know that?
We already knew that, though, didn't we?
I didn't.
This is news to me.
That's why I'm excited.
I've been a Mission Impossible stan for a while.
It is one movie that I will go see in theaters.
There's not a lot that gets me out of bed,
but Mission Impossible is one of them.
The most recent one is the first one I'd seen
in the previous several, I guess.
And it was really, really good.
Really good.
You have the affinity for Mission Impossible films
that I have for Bond films.
I like Bond too.
It's Tom Cruise that does it for me.
Like, you put
Jason Statham in there
as Mission Impossible,
then, no.
Probably not going.
I'll watch it,
but I'm not going
to go to the theaters.
Tom Cruise,
it's A-list.
Why does he do
Statham like that?
Like, I feel like
there's other guys.
You're right.
Like, if Timothee Chalamet
is doing his own stunts
on that,
I'm probably not
going to care as much.
If it's Chris Pratt,
it's not getting me
out of bed.
I still can't believe Top Gun's just sitting there just waiting to be released.
So was the new Bond movie, dude.
I'm so upset.
It's ridiculous.
Give us a dose of Bond, man.
You see they're doing the new Office?
The Office is going to be on Peacock starting January 1st.
Wait, new?
No, not new.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to say that.
I was going to say you can't do that. It's going to be epic though, dude.
So they're just putting it on Peacock.
Yeah, shouts to Peacock, the fucking worst
streaming network in the fucking world.
Wow.
We'll be getting their business.
No, they have my business because I
am forced to give them my business, but I'm not happy
about it. You know what Tom Cruise
isn't happy about? People breaking COVID protocols.
I'm not happy about that either.
Do you want me to just play the clip?
Yes, actually, I'd love to.
This is going to be about 2 minutes and 20 seconds,
so if you've already heard it, feel free to mash that 15 second
button, but there's a lot of people out there who haven't.
Here we go.
You're back here in Hollywood making movies right now
because of us!
Because they believe in us and what we're doing.
I'm on the phone with every studio at night.
Insurance companies. Producers.
And they're looking at us and using us to make their movies.
We are creating thousands of jobs, you motherfuckers.
I don't ever want to see it again!
Ever!
And if you don't do it, you're fired.
And if I see you do it again, you're f***ing gone.
And anyone on this crew does it.
That's it!
And you too! And you too!
And you!
Don't you ever f***ing do it again!
That's it!
No apologies.
You can tell it to the people that are losing their f***ing homes
because our industry is shut down.
It's not going to put food on their table
or pay for their college education.
It's not going to put food on their table or pay for their college education.
That's what I sleep with every night.
In the future, they're f***ing extreme.
So I'm sorry, I'm beyond your apologies.
I have told you, and now I want it.
And if you don't do it, you're out!
We are not shutting this f***ing movie down!
Is it understood?
If I see it again, you're f***ing gone.
And so are you.
So you're going to cost him his job.
And I see it on the set, you're gone.
And you're gone.
That's it.
Am I clear?
Do you understand what I want?
Do you understand the responsibility that you have?
Because I will deal with your reason.
And if you can't be reasonable, and I can't deal with your logic,
you're fired.
That's it.
That is it.
Very cool, Tom.
You're fucking gone!
He reminds them like seven times
that you will be fired if this happens again.
Yeah, like we get it.
Yeah, Tom, they know, dude.
And then he's like, do you understand?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Why is he on the phone with studios every night producer insurance company
hey everybody tweet out your favorite part of that just out of context i'm gonna tweet one now
um how many how many people
have how many people can get away with this in that industry? How many actors can get away with this?
Here's what he has on his side.
Because he's doing it for COVID and he's preaching COVID awareness and protocol,
I feel like most people could get away with this.
What do you mean by he's doing it for COVID?
That was a bad way of phrasing it.
He is calling people out for not taking it seriously.
I don't know what exactly people were doing wrong,
but I think that gets you a pass on berating people.
Because otherwise, Christian Bale did this a decade ago,
or whenever that was.
He went in on somebody.
And it was not for COVID.
It was for, I don't even know what, just incompetence, what he saw.
And he got widely flamed for it.
It didn't kill his career.
But Tom Cruise is at the list where he has the clout to...
Yeah, absolutely.
I want them to bring Matt Damon on Saturday Night Live to recreate this.
I think that's my dream at this point.
Someone mentioned you can tell that he's yelling through a mask.
It's very muffled.
It's ballsy to be the person Who's getting absolutely yelled at like this
And to pull out your phone and start recording
Yeah
That person should be fired
Or maybe their camera is running
Maybe a camera is running
That's probably it
Maybe
I mean they were on the set of a movie right
Yeah I don't know
I want to know what the protocol breach was
I do too
If it was like I forgot my mask went to the too. If it was like, oh, I forgot my mask, went to the bathroom.
Or if it was like, yeah, I went out last night and we went out after that.
Right, right.
Probably something like that to get that kind of reaction.
He went too hard.
He went too long.
I'll say that.
Maybe not too hard, but too long.
He went even longer.
That was 220 solely because it was put on Twitter.
Yeah, I want to hear the lead up to that.
I want to hear all of it.
I want to hear five minutes of that.
And honestly, I want to take that audio and make it my alarm clock.
I want to wake up to Tom screaming at me.
The vibe that I got from this entire thing was when the gym teacher in high school would just lay into you.
We always got yelled at in gym class for getting too rowdy.
Just be throwing balls at people's heads and shit.
Sit down!
I picked up Parks from school yesterday.
He told me that his gym teacher made them run laps
and he wasn't happy about it.
Like, is it a punishment?
No, just like regular curriculum.
You got to run, like he said, like five laps or something.
He's gotten so used to rollerblading,
like, I think he hates running.
Yeah.
No, it's a big roller skater.
Just make sure you put those wrist guards on him, Dave.
I don't want him getting hurt, man.
Oh, for sure.
I watched my buddy break his arm rollerblading.
We did our podcast beat, fun fact.
He was doing a unity grind outside of his house.
What's a unity grind?
It's where your legs are crossed and you're going across the rail.
Very cool.
And he fell and it was a compound fracture.
His thing popped out.
Still remember it.
It was a very, very vivid memory.
I made it my entire skateboarding career never really sustaining an injury.
And I didn't do things that – I mean, I wasn't good,
but I would do things that were way above my pay grade trying to,
like stair sets and things like that.
And the fact that I never broke an ankle or a wrist or anything is just shocking.
You rebroke the arm, too.
I do drink hella milk, though, so it kind of makes sense.
Your milk was.
Same.
I never really tried anything too crazy.
I know that won't shock anybody.
So Tom Cruise, man.
Producers!
You're fucking gone.
He's on the phone every night. i doubt that come on where are they even where are they even recording like right now that's a great question
because how are they how is this able to be filmed and like all these other films are on hold
there are things that are being filmed during this pandemic but they're just um
like you got to check in and there's very strict protocols about getting on set and all that like
they're definitely not in california because there's no way that they would be the united
state is basically shut down right yeah i guess so and but they wouldn't be filling mission
impossible in california they're somewhere dope they're're probably like in... Like Romania or some shit?
California's dope.
New Zealand.
I don't know why I said Romania.
California's dope, but I mean, you know what I mean.
If I don't get Top Gun soon, I'm going to lose it.
Someone's going to get it.
I'm still waiting for this.
I mean, I'm still waiting for the time when there's nothing to watch
because everything was shut down for an extended period of time.
I feel like there's going to be a lull at some point.
Or maybe the studios will just space everything out.
Isn't Warner Brothers or some shit just releasing every single thing on New Year's Day for the year?
In an unprecedented move per Twitter?
I don't know if it's Warner Brothers, but it's one of those movie studios.
They're just dropping everything from the year on, like day one.
Oh yeah, I think it might be Sony.
That's a weird move to me
yeah
just take the rest of the year off
okay
I don't fucking know
what if
Tom went too hard
I'll say it
who's
no I don't think so
I can see you doing this shit
in the studio
no I would never yell
at y'all like that
that's how you used to talk
to the TFM writers
stop dude
stop that had that had high school coach That's how you used to talk to the TFM writers Stop dude Stop
That had
That had
High school coach
Like poor performance during the first half vibes
Or like your team just went out and laid an egg
Like didn't quit
Guys went out the night before
Maybe they were at the strip club
Watching one of their teachers
Until like 4am
Have you seen the
Augie Garrido Post game Oh yeah Tirade Oh yeah Oh buddy club watching one of their teachers until like 4 a.m have you seen the uh agi gorito post game
oh yeah tirade oh yeah oh buddy that dude knows how to get into your ass okay yeah really he does
yeah no he's just a coach not sexually have you ever lost it on people like this like have you
ever been in a position where you get to lose it on a group of people? No. Randy.
This Randy, not my dog.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm not my wits end with this Randy over here.
I've never been in a position where I, like, have the right to, like, tell a bunch of people that they fucked up.
I don't have that in me.
I could just.
Oh, yeah, pledges.
That makes sense.
Dylan.
That makes sense.
I was not.
I didn't haze, man.
I just made fun of him.
Dude, I know it's like Brothers for Life, but just admit you hazed.
I'm not a Brothers for Life guy.
Dylan used to kiss hazers.
Trust me.
Dylan was a kiss hazer.
That shit made me cringe.
Yeah, maybe people were just kissing on set and Tom was just not having it.
It's against protocol.
There's a most sesh going on in the corner.
What the fuck's this? I don't know if they're going to shut down the movie
studio because of mosting. That'd be great.
Which one of you is mosting?
I'm on the phone every night
and you're mosting. He's not talking to producers
every night on the phone. And studios.
He's just not. Every night.
So he's like, I'm assuming
he's like the executive producer
on this and he has many titles except for, you know, lead.
Right?
He's probably got the creds.
Yeah.
I think he's a little bit more to stand on here.
Any guesses at his net worth?
Why is Tom Cruise?
I don't know.
Yeah.
His net worth?
Yeah.
Ooh.
I'll go first.
$695 million.
I'm gonna say
585
Dave wins
of course he does
neither of you were that
well he won by default
cause we're doing
Price is Right rules
so I was closest?
nope
he was still closer
I was just trying to make you feel good honestly
what was it?
just to give us a fucking number you jerk
600
oh I was very close
600 million
not 600 dollars
that'd be depressing.
What?
It's like he just goes through celebrity net worth.
No, Dave goes through the rundown before,
Googles everyone's net worth,
and see them when it comes up.
Yeah, that's what it is.
It's actually a good idea.
It's not the worst idea.
There's no way I would be able to recall it.
I would not remember it.
$600 is a nice round number.
You know, that's what we know about.
You know there's someone he tied up in Scientology accounts.
Oh, my God.
He's definitely a billionaire in general.
They would front him on anything he wanted.
Yeah.
And they own so much land.
There's definitely things that are in his name.
Or in someone else's name that belong to him.
I'm glad you brought that up.
Because I have a unique investment opportunity for both of you.
I think we should invest in land.
Us.
All of us.
Okay.
That's the one thing they can't make more of, Dave.
They've done it actually in Dubai.
UAE and Dubai.
Dubai has been making land at a rapid pace.
Volcanoes.
Underwater volcanoes and shit.
Excuse me.
Who's a real estate professional here and who's not?
So maybe you should just stop talking.
Do you want to invest or not in my fund?
It's called the land fund.
I don't think so.
I think I'm out.
Officially, I'm out.
And for that reason, I'm out.
It's cool you don't want to secure your financial future.
Interesting you're talking finances publicly right now.
I'm not.
I'm talking about yours.
How about parks of Bitcoin?
For Christmas?
He brought me candy yesterday
and he beat the piss out of my arm.
What does one bit go for these days?
I think we're at 20k right now.
Thank you for buying that for my son.
Put that toward college.
It's in his name.
No, I told him it's in a trust.
The only I have access to.
Okay.
Sorry.
I just didn't trust you with it.
I wouldn't trust Dylan with it.
What are you going to do with it?
I don't know.
You'll buy a bunch of fucking Jordans and shit?
I don't know.
After you told everyone that you were paying for the Christmas dinner out of the goodness of your heart,
and then you went back on it the next day, I don't really trust you with money at this point.
That's a good point.
I have officially been reimbursed for the dinner, by the way.
You have or have not?
I have, yeah.
That's cool, dude.
Oh, I got...
Never mind.
I got some points.
Dylan's all drunk and he's like, oh, man, I love you guys so much.
I'm going to buy this dinner.
And then the next morning he's like, oh, I made a big mistake.
How many points does Walsh have on that card?
I don't know.
We put a lot on that, though.
Probably enough to go to Chicago for a meetup or something.
I told Dave, we're definitely funding a meetup with our points.
I'm actually using those points.
I'm going on vacation to Branson, Missouri.
Why are you going to Branson?
I'm going to see some shows.
Sounds terrible.
No offense. Shots to Branson, though. I'm going to play that golf course. What kind of shows do they going to Branson? I'm going to go see some shows. Sounds terrible. No offense.
Shots to Branson, though.
I'm going to play that golf course.
Shots to our Branson.
What kind of shows do they have in Branson?
I don't know.
Probably like Wayne Newton.
You're going to see like a 4-H show?
What's 4-H?
It's like Triple H.
Bunch of farm animals?
Yeah.
It's not like Triple H.
That would be tight.
I would pay for Triple H's show.
That would be sick.
He just power bombs you. Tell him to suck it. Through the floor. He's just looking Triple H. That would be tight. I would pay for Triple H's show. That would be sick. He just power bombs you.
Telling me to suck it through the floor.
He's just looking at everybody.
Fireworks, cross shops.
4-H is mostly just livestock.
Okay.
It's a little bit different.
You weren't in the 4-H club, dude?
Wow.
I wasn't either.
I would just go to the shows.
Dylan's Super H.
Oh, yeah.
That's good.
I'm just not.
I'm standard age, man.
I'm normal age.
No, you're not.
You're super age.
Nah.
I wish.
I wish I was super age.
I'm super age for poncho.
Every time I see Clay in poncho, I just think to myself, and by Clay I mean flounder on
the fly, I just think to myself, like, my God, the drip on this guy.
What about me right now?
You're looking good. You look fine. You're looking good. This is the first time we've seen Dylan wear his poncho ropeer on the fly. I just think to myself, like, my God, the drip on this guy. What about me right now? You're looking good.
You look fine.
You're looking good.
This is the first time we've seen Dylan wear his poncho rope hat in the studio.
I didn't know we had a read today.
I just wore it.
It's just tight.
How about that?
How about that?
How about that?
Catch me outside in poncho.
How about that?
Because that's what it's made for.
It's stuff for the outdoors.
But it's also just stuff you can wear anywhere and just put out outdoor vibes.
Yes.
I wore mine to the ranch.
I've talked about this.
It's so comfortable and lightweight and sharp-looking and very ranchy,
but also it catched me at the club and that thing.
You're going to go to the club.
Why wouldn't I?
I don't know.
You're going to be swimming in it.
You don't even go to the club.
You rarely party.
That's fair. You never burn. During these very uncertain times, I't even go to the club. You rarely party. That's fair.
You never burn.
During these very uncertain times, I don't go to the club.
But I'm about to start bopping in the club.
If you go to the club in your poncho this weekend, I'm going to be happy that you're wearing poncho.
But you're going to get a Tom Cruise-like speech after.
That's fair.
I'm ready for it.
I've been sitting on a treasure trove of clay photos in poncho.
That makes sense.
Release them.
What's your problem?
If you're unfamiliar with poncho, these guys have shirts, hats, tees.
They got a bunch of stuff for the outdoors or for the indoors if you're just trying to get a fit off.
And this stuff is great.
It's comfortable.
It's like moisture wicking.
It's just really great.
Incredible fit.
But it's made for life outdoors, not just fishing.
Even though these are just like dope-ass fishing shirts.
I've got two of their caps.
One is the rope hat that I've said many times fits very well on my head.
It looks good on Dylan.
But you're not even like a typical rope hat guy.
No, I'm not.
I've gone the longest time without owning one because they don't look good on me.
But the poncho one fits.
That's not a – I mean, anybody who's been around me the last month knows I've worn that thing like five days a week.
Yeah.
I've been around you.
Yeah.
Yeah, a lot.
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P-O-N-C-H-L.
There you go.
So this is a story that came across my TL. or t-shirt with your order. P-O-N-C-H-L. There you go. So,
this is a story that came across my TL.
No pun intended earlier.
This dude
in the UK went to
jail after taking his jet ski across
the Irish Sea.
Say that five times fast.
Irish Sea.
Come over to the donkey.
We love you, Dylan.
Suck a potato.
Didn't they call you the Irish Sea back in the day?
No, that wouldn't make sense.
I'm not Irish, so.
You're not?
Are you sure?
No, I'm not.
Didn't you say you might be?
Yeah.
So there's a group of people called, they're like black Irish.
And they're just very, obviously, as the name would imply,
they have very dark skin.
I don't think it's like the Black Beatles, Dave.
That's a song by
Ray Srimmer. Is that how you say it?
It's Ear Drummers Backwards. That song's good.
Anyway. Hold on, let's do a mannequin challenge.
Oh, dude.
You know what?
I missed the mannequin challenge.
Those are fun.
Those are fun, man.
You're not doing it.
You're talking.
Dude, Hillary.
We're doing a podcast.
Remember when Hillary did it and won the election?
She killed that.
Those are fun, man.
Some people got really creative with them.
Can we do one seriously?
Google black Irish and see what I'm talking about.
I think there's something there that connects to me.
I think so.
You think so?
Look into it, bitch. The definition of black Irish is used to describe
Irish people with dark hair and dark eyes thought to be descendants of the Spanish Armada in the
mid-1500s, or it is a term used in the United States by mixed-race descendants of European
and African Americans or Native Americans to hide their heritage. I actually know somebody,
one of my mom's good friends. Does that not sound like me? Is very Irish, and she has a similar complexion to you.
Let's go.
That's what she told me as a kid.
Truthfully, I never really believed her.
Your boy is black Irish.
Let's go.
I'm throwing deuce.
Put it in your bio.
Unless you're on YouTube right now, you can't see it.
I'm throwing deuce.
If you don't put it in your bio, you're a coward.
Bitch, you think I want to do it right now?
I wish you'd shut up right now.
I honestly don't.
Give me odds, one and two.
I don't know how it would play, especially on Twitter.
Can I tell you what this dude did, this horny dude?
I'm so excited.
I just want this to be about me, though.
This could be you.
Defining the Isle of Man's coronavirus restrictions,
a 28-year-old traveled from Scotland to the island on Friday.
Days after he arrived, he was sentenced to jail for four weeks.
So this dude decided that he was going to jet ski across a straight,
what do you call it, a straight or something?
This sounds very chill so far.
So he says, what happened on the three days in between,
according to the court documents,
may be one of the more unusual instances of real flouting during the coronavirus pandemic.
The day after purchasing the court documents, maybe one of the more unusual instances of real flouting during the coronavirus pandemic.
The day after purchasing the watercraft, Mr. McLaughlin set off at 8 a.m. for what he thought would be a 40 minute trip from the southwestern coast of Scotland to his girlfriend's home in the Isle of Man between England and Ireland.
He later told the authorities that he had never ridden a jet ski before and that the bad weather on the Irish Sea caused his trip to stretch out to four and a half hours.
He finally reached his girlfriend on Friday night after walking 15 miles from the Isle of Man's northern coast to her home in its capital of Douglas.
The couple spent the weekend enjoying the city's nightlife, but their reunion was cut
short when he was arrested and later charged with one count of violating the Isle of Man's
coronavirus restrictions.
That's not an isle.
That's a man, baby.
What?
It's shagadelic.
What did you say, Dylan?
He's just trying to get it in?
Yeah.
He's going to extreme measures to get it in.
I like how they were just going out.
Like, they just went out after doing this.
You hop off your jet ski.
This sounds like he got lost like DJ Khaled's dad.
He had to walk 15 miles?
Do you think when he, like, got up to her and she was on the shore, he did the spin and sprayed her?
He just started doing donuts.
He was like, hey, babe, get on.
You want to go for a joyride?
She's just clapping.
It's his first time on a jet ski.
That's funny.
What are you doing?
I didn't know those things could hold enough gas to get him all the way.
I bet he had a tank in his backpack or something.
That's what I'm surprised by, though.
No one brings a gas tank in their backpack, David.
No one goes to the Isle of Man on a jet ski.
He thought it was a 40-minute trip.
He was wrong.
Have you all ever seen where this is?
Are you looking at a map?
Because I am.
And I bet this is a very dope place.
It's literally right between United Kingdom and Ireland.
The Isle of Man?
Yeah. I mean, so it's just this little tiny island? It's not right between United Kingdom and Ireland. The Isle of Man? Yeah.
So it's just this little tiny island?
It's not even that small.
Yeah, it's really not.
I feel like we should have known about this.
I wish Brett was here to say something wrong.
Just absolutely botch it.
I mean, I get why he would do this, I guess.
But going from the southern tip of Scotland.
Scotland.
Is to the Isle of Man seems like a really irresponsible move.
Scotland.
Just saying.
I like saying Scotland with the Scottish accent.
Have you ever been so horny that you just decide to rent a jet ski and drive it four and a half hours to go see someone?
Yes, I got lost, though. So i just went back doctor doctor up what's the biggest desperation
thing you do just to like make out with somebody just to make out with somebody when i was like 15
probably a lot but not anymore not anymore making out doesn't do a whole lot you just sent like a hey text at 2.30 a.m.? Hey. Hey. What are you doing?
What's up?
Sleeping, dumbass.
It's 2.30.
I think they should have let this guy out of jail.
Yeah, honestly, like these can't be smooth seas.
No, he worked his ass off.
His strain score on his whoop was probably so high just from being tense.
He maxed it.
He maxed the strain.
Imagine being his girlfriend
and just being like
wow
like I'm
kind of a hot
commodity right now
say what you want to say
what
I don't know what you want me to say
oh okay
hot piece of ass or something
no
it's inappropriate
I'm not going to say it
I want to know how expensive
it is to live on the
isle of man
I can't imagine it's cheap
or it's like insanely cheap but really like annoying because you can't do anything.
Yeah.
You're kind of, yeah.
Is this, is this closer to, is it closer to land than like Catalina Island?
I think so, but I could be completely wrong.
I believe so.
I think Catalina Island's pretty close off of the coast of California.
If I had to guess.
I've never been.
I think some people swim to it.
I've never been to a bar.
It's 87 miles.
I just take a helicopter to it.
87 miles?
Correct.
I did not realize it was that far.
Between San Diego.
Randy gets my joke.
What did you say?
I just take a helicopter to Catalina Island.
Oh, okay.
You stupid dumbass.
Okay.
Are you doing the Catalina wine mixer thing right now?
Yeah.
Dude, that's epic.
Pow!
That was epic.
Quoting movies is epic.
Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to bite y'all to a quote along sometime.
You going to make your nut?
You got to make your nut at the Catalina wine mixer.
Nobody would go deep sea fishing with me in Mexico.
I don't like deep sea fishing very much
The thing about deep sea fishing
Is that you're fishing in the deep sea
It's true
Why wouldn't they go?
I don't know
Dylan you can't go because you'd get vertigo
No I went because one time I went
And it was a 16 hour trip
And we didn't get a fucking bite
And it was like 100 degrees
And it was miserable
Probably really cheap though
And we ended up just like falling asleep because we were out there all day
and it was not fun and inexpensive.
Deep sea fishing, to be fair, might suck.
I've done some trolling.
Like on the internet?
It's worth it.
If you land the big one, it's worth it.
I've never landed the big one, Dylan.
Not many people have.
I got a big mackerel.
Clay was there.
And after I took photos with it, a kid who was on the trip who didn't catch a fish was taking photos with my mackerel as if it was his.
We're like, um, sir?
That's not your mackerel, sir.
That's definitely not your mackerel.
You got mackerel cucked.
I've got a photo of me and Clay in, like like ninth grade just holding up this giant mackerel.
Why is this photo not like our cover photo?
Like rocking Abercrombie hats with like fish hooks.
Can this be our new like logo?
Just me and Clay?
Clay doesn't even really work for us.
For washed outdoors?
It's not a bad idea.
It's our new initiative.
No, I've been hiding it because I'm wearing cargoes.
That's fine, dude.
No, but back in the day, if you were in Abercrombie, cargoes were it.
That is not frat, David.
I know.
Did you, like, scrub that from your Facebook account before you rushed?
Yeah.
You guys didn't even have Facebook when you rushed, did you?
Had I known about this, I would have blackballed you.
No, you wouldn't have because you're two years ahead of me.
Facebook was released.
It was EDU,u like my second or
third year facebook hit um texas state while i was at texas state i know that for a fact yeah
because it hit my sister when she was at her i think my sister's in the same grade as you guys
would be actually no she's definitely younger than you you're 37 i forget that okay okay
no i'm just saying that because like it's so much older than what I imagine you being. No, yeah. I follow.
It's like old, old.
Yeah.
It's like, damn, you're almost 40.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Fuck, I am getting old.
What's the fastest you've ever gone on a jet ski?
60.
I don't know why this has come up numerous times in the last week.
Dude, I told you by the time I went 60 on a jet ski, I a wave unexpectedly and i flew off i'm not kidding 150 feet you just hocked and
i thought i was gonna die like i went i went just like spinning across the water it was very
dangerous i was fine though i just went back started back up did anyone do you have any
witnesses uh my buddy eugene was at his lake house, but I don't think he saw it.
He only had one jet ski, so I was out there by myself.
I always hate it when places have just one jet ski.
It's like I'm trying to mob with the boys out there.
You have to get more than one.
How much are jet skis?
Should I ask for one for Christmas?
You can get a good one for 5K.
I don't know if that's true or not.
I took the governor off one once.
I won 120. Golf carts are
wildly expensive, by the way, if y'all didn't know that.
I want to buy one so bad for the neighborhood,
but they're so expensive. It's like buying a used
car.
It's a golf cart. It goes
8 miles an hour. What are you doing? You need a golf cart, dude.
I know.
They're thousands of dollars. So lease one. I'm not leasing a golf doing? You need a golf cart, dude. I know. They're thousands of dollars.
So lease one.
I'm not leasing a golf cart.
Lease a golf cart.
I'm not leasing a golf cart.
Why?
Next summer, you'll take it to the pool every day with the homie.
It'll be great.
God.
I'll give you a low interest rate.
You want to talk after this?
You don't have a golf cart.
No, but I'll loan you the money.
No.
I think I'd rather you go through the traditional routes.
0% interest for two years.
And then what?
And I come over and just kick your ass.
Oh, man.
What if he's paid it off?
Are you still just beating the piss out of him?
If someone has a used golf cart,
that's what I'm trying to say,
and you want to sell it,
holler at me.
Why don't you just steal one from a course?
No, you got to have it souped up well.
Well, you got to put big tires on it and make it dope.
I don't want the slots for golf bags in the back.
I want a seat.
Because you don't even golf.
Well, when I do play golf, I just use their golf cart.
I'm not going to bring my own to Kaiser.
I would.
That'd be tight. Just tow it. I got my own. I just use their golf cart. I'm not going to bring my own to, like, you know, Kaiser. That'd be tight.
No, I don't need a cart.
I got my own.
I played a course recently that was, like, a local country club,
and, like, everyone had different carts,
and I just love seeing the different shit that people have on their carts.
They're priorities.
You know what's a dope look?
When you're playing a course and you see some of the houses on it
and there's a golf cart, it's their custom golf cart,
and it's got their bags on it,
and they just go out and play a few holes, like, throughout the day,
whenever they want. It's like, yeah, that's a good life you're living.
It's not a bad life. No, it's not a bad one. I had something to say about golf carts. I'm
blanking on it. Whatever. How long would you drive a golf cart in order to get laid like this dude?
30 hours. Did Kanye really drive 30 hours? Depends who it is.
Did Kanye really drive 30 hours?
Depends who it is.
It's a long way.
I've never driven 30 hours.
Like consecutively.
No, I think the most I've done is nine.
In one day I've done 12.
I've done 12 in a day.
No.
Oh.
Well, it wasn't just for action, but there might have been some action.
Why was Kanye driving 30 hours? I've driven to Florida.
Action.
Action. I've driven to Florida. Action. Action.
I've driven to Florida.
Sick.
Panhandle though.
I didn't get down in the shit.
Oh yeah.
Florida's a big ass state,
so if you would have gone
down to the shit,
you would have had a long ride
in for yourself.
Wouldn't have been pretty.
Especially since you can't
just drive across the Gulf.
No.
You have to drive around.
You need a boat for that.
I don't like driving
through Florida.
Through central Florida
like we did for Sanibel
yeah because we drove across
we didn't drive the long way
it felt like a place where we could
never be seen again
I go to a stop sign and somebody
just hijacks our car and all of a sudden
I'm on a boat with Coach Taylor
who's a strange brother
he's just going to murder me or something wow
yeah that sounds like a plot from some sort of television series that series fizzled out
yeah i feel the way the way that you feel about ozark is how i feel about whatever that series
was called that's that show sucked that was yeah and they had less they had fewer lights on in that
show than ozark has in their show.
I started it, and then everybody kind of started shitting on it who was, like, caught up.
And I was like, yeah, I'm just going to bail.
And honestly, the only reason I was giving it a chance was because of Coach Taylor.
Yeah, 100%.
That's the only reason why I watched that show.
Can we talk about Sonny B?
Okay, Brett, sure. Sun Basket. Sun Basket,
baby. Skip the grocery store and have delicious meals full of organic fresh produce delivered straight to your door. We've all gotten these in the mail. I've gotten a bunch of stuff.
I didn't even know what some of the stuff that I got in the mail was, and it just turned out to
be amazing. The cauliflower mac and cheese, which I did know what that was.
Delightful.
Really?
Delightful.
It's just great stuff.
If you're not familiar with Sun Basket, Sun Basket has delicious recipes for all kinds
of dietary preferences, including paleo, gluten-free, Mediterranean, vegetarian, and more.
Dylan, didn't you come back from Europe saying that you're only a Mediterranean diet guy now?
Yeah.
That's all I eat.
So smug and pompous.
A lot of kebabs.
You're just only kebabs.
Yeah.
If it's not on a stick, you're not eating it.
Exactly.
Don't make a glizzy joke, Dave.
Glizzies are just like kind of white trash kebabs if you think about it.
They make it easy and convenient with everything pre-portioned and ready to prep and cook. You can make a full dinner full of organic fresh produce and clean ingredients in as little as 15 minutes,
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Each week they offer a wide range of meals to choose from,
so you can try mouthwatering dishes like Catalan chicken with green romesco and Spanish green beans.
They have such high-class recipes that I fear that I'm not even saying them correctly.
Dude, their menu is very good. I'm looking at it now just to see, because you know,
even without them being a sponsor, we were customers. Yeah. Because we don't have a lot
of time to cook these days. I highly recommend the beef chili with cheddar and Greek yogurt.
Dude, I'm kind of jealous of this black Angus ribeye with leaks and warm caper tarragon yeah i need that like ribeyes and leaks like that that's my brand right there that's
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Can you all stall while I run to the gents room?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Go to the gents room, Dave.
Go get one off.
God, dude.
Weakest bladder in the game.
God. Yourum, Dave. Go get one off. God, dude. Weakest bladder in the game.
God.
Dude sucks, man.
Do you want me to do my breaking news now?
Yeah, let's mix it up.
Okay.
Since Brett's not in today, I was going to do Will's breaking news. But because we're not doing that, I just want to talk real quick about it.
You can just leave it, Randy.
Yeah, Randy, no one's coming in here.
Just leave the door open.
It's not a big deal.
It caused more ruckus to go over there you see we got some more competition in the podcast market no harry and megan mark oh yeah yeah yeah dude what's their problem
so they're doing a pod together yeah i guess they have a new media company that they called
something that sounds like kind of royal which like we get it like you left the royal family
so like why are you trying to act royal still bear hug them dude i don't get i can't
fathom a time in my life where don't get me wrong i love what we do for a living i have fun every
single day that we work i i really truly enjoy what we do but like i'm sorry being a prince
seems better than this okay um yes but what if you that's all that you know if you grew up being
a royal and that you go to these these press deals and you're wearing all the the shit the
fancy shit all the time and you got to be so proper and there's a people are watching you
constantly i can understand wanting to escape that life. I guess. Can't you?
Yeah, but what about the galas and stuff?
The thing is being too famous.
But what about being able to just go to a castle and hunt when you need to escape the realities of life?
It's just like, all right, I'm going to go to this castle. There are obviously some amazing perks to being royal.
No, I understand that.
What about never having to work a day in your life?
Yeah, like just having unlimited funds. No, don't that. What about never having to work a day in your life? Yeah, like just having unlimited funds.
No, don't get me wrong.
Like, I do think that there is something to the monotony of living a life like that.
Like, I definitely think that there is.
It would drive you insane at some point.
But, like, wouldn't you want to feel normal at some point?
Why are they hosting their own podcast now?
I don't know.
You have the money.
Just go do your shit.
Like, maybe this is what they want to do.
I know. Like, their dream job is what we do. I don't know. You have the money. Just go do your shit. Maybe this is what they want to do. I know.
Their dream job is what we do.
I know.
I just can't imagine my dream job being like, my dream job is being a prince.
Yeah.
That sounds dope.
I can understand wanting to escape that life and feeling normal for a while.
I get it, but I think that at some point Harry's going to be like, man.
Can you go back?
Can you go back to it?
some point harry's gonna be like man like can't go can you go back can you go back to it what if like barstool buys their like their like their company and like all of a sudden prince harry
works for barstool what kind of company does he have the content so they started a podcast company
that they're going to do stuff with spotify and are you being serious yeah i'm i'm 100 serious
they also have a netflix deal which people are complaining about because, or people are talking about
because the crown seemingly kind of does Prince Harry pretty wrong this last season.
Do they do the Nazi thing?
No, no, no, not that, not that.
Just talking about Princess Diana and how she lived her life and how she probably had
some affairs and how one of her affairs probably might have, not probably, could have possibly led to the birth of Prince Harry.
I always thought she lived her life like a candle in the wind.
And it seems to me.
Elton John.
You claim to be Elton John.
Dylan definitely knows.
I don't know if he does.
It's about Marilyn Monroe.
knows. I don't know if he does.
It's about Marilyn Monroe.
Dave, if you could choose between being a prince
in England or being
a podcast host, which one are you choosing?
Podcast host.
It's not even close.
So if I'm married into royalty,
Sally decides,
I hate Will, which I don't think
she's that far from doing. I wonder how
influential Meghan was in –
Barry, I think.
Yeah.
Barry.
In getting him out the game.
She clearly likes being in media.
I mean, she was an actress for a really long time.
I don't know.
Dead life.
It's got some drawbacks, man.
I get it.
Whatever.
What if you're so famous you couldn't have a moment to yourself
when you're outside of your house?
Didn't you tell me that's how you felt when you were the TFM guy?
Yeah, yeah.
You were just like, God, I can't even leave.
I'm just getting mobbed.
Yeah.
Bunch of dudes in comfort color tees and Guy Harvey shirts are just like,
they won't let me live.
There's a bunch of dude in Bama bangs wanting to hang out with me.
Can't even get a drink at the Dell Match Play.
Bunch of paparazzi outside of your house like, fuck you, dog.
Oh, yeah.
I would want to be that kind of famous, man.
Like, royal famous.
I would like, I mean, don't, okay, let me put it this way.
The fame is the part of being royal that would obviously suck the worst.
But outside of the fame, I think that most of, I think that most of it would be just dope.
I think it's the constant scrutiny of living up to being a member of the royal family.
Yes.
The press just watching your every move.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
People do forget that he dressed up like a Nazi for Halloween.
Yeah.
I don't remember this.
dressed up like a Nazi for Halloween.
Yeah.
I don't remember this.
But that doesn't even scratch the surface of, like,
bad things that people in that family have done over the last hundred years?
Correct.
Correct.
No, I mean, it just doesn't.
It doesn't, you know.
No.
He got naked in a Vegas hotel room, and it's still not bad.
What's wrong with that? It's, like bad it's just that it's like okay like
yeah dressing up like the nazi that was a big mistake like but people acting like being naked
in your vegas hotel room that's not a big deal that's just you're in vegas and what happened
like who wears clothes in a vegas hotel room also what's up what's the deal with the paparazzi
releasing the photos of him naked in his hotel room. Don't they know that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?
Yeah.
Yeah, they didn't get that memo.
What's your... What are you...
Can you imagine if Tom Cruise was there and he found out about that?
Dude.
You're going to be fired.
You're gone.
You're out of the royal fucking family.
You're gone.
Save your apologies.
Yeah, I mean, like, I don't know. Maybe prince andrew maybe he wanted to get away from prince andrew see that's that is my theory i have several theories about the um about the royal family
and like why prince harry and megan markle might have left and like all that kind of stuff i don't
think that that's out of the realm of being one, like the last straw of just being like,
dude,
all right,
Andrew,
you're a fucking pervert.
I'm out.
They throw so much shade in this season of the crown at Prince Andrew.
They don't talk about his connections to the global pedophile ring.
Do they?
No,
but they just shit on him as a person numerous times.
Okay.
Like it's kind of great how they do it.
Just pictured multiple times with Jeffrey Epstein.
He doesn't sweat though.
And a young lady.
And a young lady.
Have you heard that?
No.
They,
they had,
they did an interview with him after it was just talked about that he had
these photos with the young lady who's accused like them of everything.
And like,
I guess like they,
there was had something to do with how he was sweating or something.
And he said, no, I don't sweat.
I had a condition at the time and I didn't sweat.
And everyone's like, you definitely didn't have a condition that stopped you from sweating
at the time.
Is that like my legs don't get cold?
Yes, exactly.
That's just so weird.
There's no condition that would prevent you from sweating.
What's it called?
There might be.
I don't know.
But if it's out there and somebody has it, I would love to contract it from you.
I would beg to not sweat.
That's so weird.
Yeah, I do remember that, though.
What's the other breaking news?
Anhydrosis is the inability to sweat normally.
Sweat normally?
Yeah.
You learned something on this podcast.
To be fair to Harry,
I can kind of get, like,
not wanting to go to family dinners
when you're, like,
your uncle was just, like,
chilling with Epstein.
Well, dude, that shit's lame, too.
Like, yeah, you're eating dope food,
great service, probably the best.
Think about the schedule
of shit they have to do
that's, like, mandatory.
All the shit they have to go to
all the time.
Like Wimbledon and shit? Oh, man. No, no, no, no, no. Oh the shit they have to go to all the time.
Like Wimbledon and shit?
Oh, man. No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, and they might have...
What?
Killed his mom?
They might have killed his mom.
They might have killed his mom, yeah.
All these formal events and shit.
I still think, and I don't care what anyone says about the timeline,
I still think that Prince Harry is not Charles' kid.
I just don't think it's...
The guy that she was allegedly having an affair with, Diana,
looks so much like Prince Harry that it's just like,
how is this not lining up?
It doesn't make any sense.
You know I got love for gingers.
He has red hair, man.
I know.
I fuck with gingers hard.
All right.
Sorry, that was a little...
That sounded inappropriate given my marital situation.
Apologies.
Hey, can we do this weekend in fun presented by Miller High Life?
I'd love nothing more.
Miller High Life brings pride to the simple things in life.
I love me some Miller High Life, if I'm being honest.
I might need to go pick up a six-pack for the weekend.
Do it.
They've got the refreshing champagne-like tiny bubbles,
the iconic glass bottle,
and what I love most about it, it's accessible to all.
This ain't no hoity-toity beer.
This is every man's beer.
You want one?
Here you go.
Yeah, I do.
You can have one.
Dave, here you go.
You didn't really give me one.
All you have to do is celebrate the wins of everyday life with the Miller High Life.
Because big or small, there are moments within every day worth celebrating.
I don't care if it's just you just got done mowing the lawn, maybe shoveling some snow.
You got to celebrate that.
Maybe like driving a jet ski to your girlfriend's place.
Yeah.
You got to pop the bottle of champagne like tiny bubbles like it's the championship game.
Wow.
You really did that.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
We're actually coming up on their anniversary.
Ooh.
New Year's Day?
New Year's Eve. New Year's Day? New Year's Eve.
New Year's Eve.
New Year's Eve.
Yep.
I don't know if it would have been more fiscally responsible for them to start their payroll and everything in the new year.
But overall, I don't hate launching a company on New Year's Eve at all.
No, that's kind of dope.
Mm-hmm.
I might buy some Miller Highlights for my New Year's Eve this year and just you know
drop a hint on somebody
like oh yeah
you know
this was founded
120
119 years ago today
I might start my
real estate investment fund
on New Year's Eve
Dylan
let's talk about it
me and you after this
let's go grab a beer
Highlife
Highlife
yeah cool
I'll just go
you're already invested
okay
you can come
you want
Miller Highlife
the champagne of beers,
a quality beer within everyone's reach.
Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Will, were you a big Mitch Hedberg fan, or are you?
So I thought he was very funny,
but I didn't really know about him until after he had passed.
Same.
One of my buddies was a big fan of him,
and so he would send me stuff,
but I never actually considered myself to be a Mitch Hedberg person because i think that people out there that are such big
fans of him uh they kind of own it yeah and i haven't gotten to that point okay why'd you ask
there's portions in that highlife ad read where you sounded just like mitch hedberg i was like
i was not trying to do that i was like is he doing mitch hedberg no i can't do i can't do
impressions much like how i don't know, whenever I say that somebody looks like somebody,
everyone disagrees with me.
They're like, yeah, I don't see what you're talking about.
And much like that, I can't do impressions of people's voices.
It just doesn't work.
Just Austin Powers?
Yeah, baby.
Smashing.
Smashing.
Dylan, what are you doing this weekend?
Wow, thank you for asking, Will.
Friday, nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I would love to maybe do dinner or something.
I don't know.
Nothing, sadly.
Saturday, however, I will get Parks early in the morning,
and we are heading out to the ranch,
and we are doing Christmas with the ranch and we are doing a uh we're doing christmas
with my with my mom and stepdad and sister and some other family um sisters i should say a week
early because well it's a chance the only chance of us all getting together so we're gonna do a
little christmas out there cannot wait for that parks is very excited dude parks gets like four
christmases it. It's incredible.
It's a good movie. No, it's not.
Really mediocre Christmas movie.
He's a lucky little kid.
So we're doing that. I can't wait. It's going to be a lot
of fun. Like I said, family's going to be out there.
Then head back Sunday and do a
little dinner at my dad's, I believe.
And that's pretty much it, man.
Just watching some sports, sports maybe and hanging out
it's gonna be it's gonna be a quiet christmas for your boy it's kind of weird that
like we're only really working like one day next week yeah and so we have this like weekend
and one day of work and then we're back off again. Yeah. I haven't fully comprehended my mentality going into this.
Yeah.
What are you doing, Dave?
I got no plans.
I'm hoping somebody hits me with a golf invite.
Let me know.
Golf is off the table for me over the weekend.
Oh, darn it.
I think you and I might be getting some midweek rounds in this next week, though. Just FYI.
Sorry, Dave.
You can't make it, Dave.
That's going to suck, man.
Why?
I really enjoy your company out there.
Because you're going to be at home with your parents like a dork.
No, I'm just kidding.
I would love to be at home with my parents.
Aren't we recording Tuesday?
No, just Monday, dude.
I thought we were doing Tuesday morning.
No.
No.
God, dude.
We'll move that up to tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
We're wild boys. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. We're wild boys.
Oh, yeah.
Hit the pipeline.
888-618-4422.
Get in, get out.
Be tactical.
We need voicemails for tomorrow.
Please do it.
Yeah, I got no plans, man.
Probably just hang out.
I'm going to hang out.
Take it easy.
Just got the, like, as we stated, we're going home.
So, not going to go hit the club.
Not going to Bottle Blonde with you. Do you want to do a beer Friday? He're going home. You want to do a beer for me? Not going to go hit the club. Not going to Bottle Blonde with you.
Do you want to do a beer for me?
Maybe.
He's going home.
Come over.
We'll do some steaks and some highlifes.
Let's do a cold one, man.
I'll do at least one.
Are you guys talking about celebrating small moments of everyday life?
Sounds great.
With bubbles.
Champagne like tiny bubbles.
Champagne.
We should do a highlife New Year's Eve bash.
I'd be fine with that.
We're going to need to explain that to Tide very simply in order for him to understand what we're doing.
If you tell him we're having a High Life party, he's not going to show up with beer.
He takes it literally.
Yeah.
It's going to be an unfortunate mistake.
I actually do have plans this weekend, which is weird.
mistake.
I actually do have plans this weekend, which is weird.
Friday,
we are surprising Sally's nieces and taking them to a light show somewhere
in Austin. I don't really know where. It's not the Trail of Lights.
It's somewhere outside of Austin, so apparently
it's not going to be the worst in terms
of being a zoo.
But we're taking them there. I guess it's our Christmas gift to them.
Hopefully they don't listen to this podcast because I just ruined their
Christmas gift. Are you going to eat mushrooms?
I might eat mushrooms, yeah. As long as Sally, if Sally
offers to drive, then I'll eat some mushrooms and enjoy myself. And then Saturday, Sally and I do
something every year, which has become one of my favorite holiday traditions. And we go to
Jeffrey's Steakhouse in Austin for dinner the weekend before Christmas. And so we will be doing
that on Saturday. And I'm very happy about that.
I've been looking at the menu numerous times,
really hoping that they have the champagne cart back in order,
but I don't think they're going to, Dave.
The martini cart.
Or the martini cart.
Did I say champagne cart?
They have a high-life cart?
They don't have a high-life cart, unfortunately.
Yeah, it was out of commission last time I was there.
No, I heard that they actually saw you come in,
and they heard that you got pretty inappropriate with martini cart girls.
And so they were like, oh, no, we can't bring it over to this guy.
It's with my wife.
Yeah, they didn't say that.
I'm sorry.
That was rude.
Martini cart girls.
They replaced them with drones anyway.
Yeah.
I would be really bummed if a drone made my martini and brought it to me.
Man, it's about to be there.
Spun, not stirred.
Okay.
That's good.
That was good.
That stunk.
That was good.
So, yeah, I don't know.
I'm hoping that I remember eating this steak,
unlike the last steak that I had out at a restaurant.
But we'll see.
It should be fun.
It's going to be enjoyable.
Then no Plants Sunday.
I'm doing absolutely nothing.
Last scariest episode of the year coming out.
Turning that brain off for a little bit.
Very happy about that.
And yeah, that's it.
You guys want some wheels breaking news?
I already gave some.
But we have one story that I would like to bring to the table.
Actually, two stories.
It's a little choose your own adventure.
It's a line that I came up with.
Actually, two stories.
It's a little choose-your-own-adventure.
It's a line that I came up with.
Dylan, do you want to talk famous people with COVID or the death of social media platforms?
The death of social media platforms.
Hey, Periscope, you're dead.
You're gone.
You're dead.
Yep, Twitter's shutting down Periscope next March.
I don't know what their plan is.
Didn't Twitter buy Vine and then shut down Vine?
Can I admit that I thought Periscope has been dead for years.
So I don't even know how to act.
I don't know.
I don't really know.
Periscope, I still see people going live from Periscope,
but I don't understand even how you do it at this point.
So it's like, might as well kill it.
Because when it first came out, I was like, oh, new social media platform.
And everyone checked it out.
And I thought it kind of went away after a few months because no one used it. We went live on it quite a bit early on.
Do you remember my live where I handed my phone to Sally's friend and she dropped it into a bowl of queso?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was a good live.
It's not talked about enough.
No, no. Yeah, you could just see my phone submer's not talked about enough. No, no.
You could just see my phone submerging into the queso live on the internet.
That's awesome.
Not great.
That's awesome.
Not great.
In other news as well, the Fleetwood Mac viral dude who was drinking the –
what was he drinking?
Minute Maid?
Ocean Spray.
Ocean Spray.
Oh, that guy.
He got COVID.
Wasn't.
So prayers out for him.
Prayers out for him.
I was worried when I read that on the rundown.
I was like, oh, no, they're elderly.
No, no.
It's the Ocean Spray, dude.
Okay.
Yep.
So that dude's life, that video turned his life completely.
I'm not saying he was like totally in the dumps, but he's doing quite well for himself now.
He's making Will's breaking news.
Yeah.
Well, he's doing well for himself.
That's the dream.
Yeah.
He's always been a big backer, so this is big for him.
He's excited.
Man, that video just struck a chord with so many people, you know?
It made us all happy.
It was so chill.
It was.
It was.
It was like just riding a smooth wave.
Yeah.
That's all we got.
If you're so inclined, head over to Patreon, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
We'll be doing Bachelor later today.
And like Dave said, we're doing listener voicemails.
Get your voicemails in, 888-618-4422.
Again, 888-618-4422.
We are pre-recording an episode so that there's episodes coming out over Christmas.
Well, tell them the other part.
I don't know the other part. Give them the number get in get out most of all be
tactical thank you yeah but we're pre-recording a couple episodes we want to make sure that we
got some good voices in the in the hopper get those in we're recording uh i guess the next
two days we're doing a couple voicemail episodes so it should be fun. Working overtime. Hey. No punching the clock. Working 9 to 5.
Wow.
You had way more enthusiasm than you.
Working.
I can't hit those highs, man.
Yeah, I could.
9 to 5.
Working 9 to 5.
The freezy partner over here.
That's her, right?
Oh, dude.
Is that Dolly?
Dude, the guy next door, he's not happy with us.
Why?
I just heard him react to us singing.
No, he didn't. I swear. What'd he say? What'd he say? I can't even say it on not happy with us. Why? I just heard him react to us singing. No, he didn't.
I swear.
What'd he say?
What'd he say?
I can't even say it on the pod.
Wow.
Really?
He hates us.
No, I just heard him chime up
and I bet it wasn't a coincidence.
Huh?
Woo!
Oh, well.
Don't care.
He could probably hear us
through the hole
that Brett put in
one of the panels up there.
Yeah, that hole in the wall
is not talked about enough.
Yeah, Brett crushed that.
Yeah.
All right, guys. Just a bad just a bad strategy on the other side