Circling Back - Smoking Out The Haters
Episode Date: May 11, 2020Kim Jong-Un may have faked his death to expose snitches in his circle, Michael Jordan's baseball career gets examined by ESPN's 'The Last Dance,' and reading some recent listener reviews from Apple Po...dcasts. We also go through Brett's Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:01) Kim Jong-Un Exposes His Haters (26:22) The Last Dance, Episodes 7 & 8 (47:57) Reading Recent Listener Reviews (1:01:17) Brett's Breaking News Honey: www.joinhoney.com/circlingback Omax: www.omaxhealth.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from our places of residence my name
is will to freeze to my right taper off you know the first time we're all together recording again and we hear the theme song drop, it's going to be electricity.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just not the same doing it like this, obviously.
These times are uncertain, but I want to hit this in vibe together.
So did I tell you guys what happened at the lodge the other day when I went there to go drop something off?
Second time I've been there since quarantine started.
I was dropping something off there.
I was in our office.
I was in the lodge for all of two seconds
before this random dude from down the hall comes down
and he starts chatting me up
about what we're doing and everything.
And I was like, dude, people want us back in the office.
We're the young hip guys who are doing something cool.
The office is buzzing about us.
We got to get back in there.
Yeah, I think they do.
He said, he's like, what is it called again?
I always forget, but I want to listen.
And I was like, dude, circling back, hit us up.
Subscribe below.
Just tell them, pardon my take.
Yeah.
I'm afraid we might roast somebody.
I don't want to let them down.
Yeah. I'm afraid we might roast somebody I don't want to let him down Dylan Chivry in the building Wearing a Wilmonds t-shirt
Oh yeah
Gotta represent Wilmonds man
We started recording
And Parks has been good
For the past 20 minutes
Before we were sitting here
And started getting things going
I told him he's gotta be quiet
Because it's time to record
Right when we start recording He he walks up with my phone.
He's playing games on it and asks if he could download a new game.
Why is it recording?
Look at it.
It's $100.
Yeah.
We're just not going to do that right now, buddy.
I'm sorry.
Dude, let him do it.
Dude, what game costs $100?
Can I ask you a question?
There are in-app purchases.
He has this dinosaur game that he plays all the time.
And there are different characters that you can win or whatever.
You get enough points.
Or you can just outright buy them.
Some of the characters in the game cost upwards of $7,500.
It's insane.
That's so stupid.
He knows more about dinosaurs than i based on the instagram filter
thing like where it tells you what dinosaur you are and the way that he pronounced these names i
was like why why does parks know more about prehistoric animals than i do dude is just all
you know it's crazy he just um walked up to me talking about dinosaurs dude he's all i don't like i don't
like the message that sends that you can just instead of earning a character you can just buy
it like i i understand that we live in uh you know 2020 usa post post capitalism but i just
don't like that lesson it's teaching my friend parks yeah yeah luckily you have to have it's a face recognition
to you know confirm a purchase in the app if his face was connected to my phone he probably running
up a couple grand by now just buying stuff like crazy dave we should teach him how to change the
facial recognition next time we cannot please don't i can't afford it. Uh, we could, we could use it to,
uh,
hack Jason day's identity.
Since Dylan's son is the spitting image of former number one player in the
world.
Jason day.
Well,
he's a handsome man,
so I'll take it.
Dylan.
What if you shave your,
what if you shave your mustache and it starts registering parks is like
looking like you,
the mustache is the only thing keeping you
from not paying $7,500
for a dinosaur on an iPhone game.
Yeah, we'd be in bad shape, man.
Do you have any comments on your Instagram that you posted
last night, Dylan?
Or yesterday?
Do I have any comments on it?
You said Instagram on fire. Do you have any remarks that you i mean you were you set instagram on fire like do
you have do you have any remarks that you'd like to give regarding that instagram itself
you know i didn't think i didn't think much of that pic but people seem to enjoy it i guess
it's the mustache that are setting people off or maybe my cute kid and my dog in the same frame
i'm not sure but i was i so dallas brought parks over yesterday and she's
like let's get a pic i'm like no as you can tell the way i'm dressed you know i wasn't you know it
was totally impromptu i was not expecting to take a picture no no no i don't i kind of want to hide
the stash for now she talked me into it i was like oh it's kind of a dope pic so i let it fly
not thinking much of it but it did numbers man man. Still doing numbers. That's number four right there.
Four separate side texts I got from friends who I haven't spoken to in a minute
who are adjacent circling Dak fans.
And I got four separate side texts saying, holy shit, Dylan's hot.
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, I'll take it.
Also, wait.
Wait till you see what I do this week.
I will say, I think your calf muscles, Dylan, in this are definitely amplified by your crouch.
Oh, yeah.
There's no doubt about it.
People were saying that I did that on purpose.
I was just trying to squat next to my fam there.
Totally unattentional.
My calves are not that good.
Y'all can confirm that
they're pretty skinny actually
they're not great
but they look like they were popping in that
coming to Micah's crown Doug
no
if Micah was in that position
it would have taken up the whole frame
nobody's doing Mother's Day posts
just to get a fit pic off and show off their calf muscles
but Dylan is.
I'm not showing anything off, man.
It's funny because Dallas, obviously, it was Mother's Day,
and she was bringing Parks to me.
So Parks' mom is the one who took the picture.
I threw her a little tag in the post.
That was nice.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Did I keep the stash? Do people like it? Yes. Yes. I didn't, you know, Oh man. Do people like it?
Yes.
Yes.
I love it.
The angle I'm looking at right now,
what I'm looking at,
it's not a good look.
I'm going to tell you this.
There's going to be like a vocal minority of,
of ladies who don't like it.
And they're like,
going to beg you to shave it.
Don't listen to them.
Everyone like all the listeners like it.
I bet if you did a poll right now, it would be 95% keep it. Don't listen to them. All the listeners like it. I bet if you did a poll right now, it would be
95% keep it.
Maybe I will do a poll.
I don't know what the ladies in your actual life
think about it, but
I think you got to do it.
Look, we're going to do content now.
Lady.
Lady, Dave. Not plural.
I may like his mom. I thought Rosemary.
My mom does not like it. I thought Rosemary. Oh, okay.
My mom does not like it. She already told me.
Okay.
Lauren.
I thought that would help.
Lauren does not like it. She already told me.
So that's where I am.
Cool.
I'm here to please me, really.
It's not for other people. It's for me.
How many optimized backers for you to keep the stash?
Why am I always the one that has to optimized backers for you to keep the stash? Why am I always
the one that has to get backers?
Answer the question, Dylan.
5,000.
Okay. All right. I was hoping you'd say
something a little bit
more manageable.
That was kind of a way more in a moment.
We're 42% out of the realm.
It's not, but...
Shut up.
Just keep it.
We're in a recession here, Dylan.
Just keep the mustache.
Yeah, quarantine stache.
They're all over the place.
Also, I just DMed Tom Skerritt to come on the happy hour,
so we'll see where that goes.
Man, four side texts to Brett.
That's doing numbers itself man four side texts to brett that's that's that's doing numbers itself four side texts to be honest my buddies uh like my sales guy group chat from
barstool is popping off they're just like man just dylan's a hot dude i'm like yeah i gotta
work with that every day yeah dude they're tracking your buddies are tracking packages. I love it. Hell yeah. I'll take it.
At D Chivary, by the way.
D-C-H-E-V-E-R-E-R-E.
Brett, I mean, Will, hit me.
Add me on the group.
I've had my finger on that button for the last five minutes just waiting for it.
I don't know what took me so long.
Sorry.
All right, man.
Dylan, you set the bar pretty high for this week,
but I will say if you
if you guys are checking out at dc rough on instagram you will not believe what i'm gonna do
i'm not i don't know if i'm gonna hit you with the abbey on the ground until you
until you post that heat i want you to post that heat what heat you have to eat the heat day
just wait brent
god i'm i i have never been thirstier to get a gram off.
I went through all my photos last night,
just trying to find like any acceptable photo of my mom and I that hasn't been
used previously.
I had nothing.
And it was just like,
I couldn't be the guy I can't.
I've roasted people enough for posting their wedding photos so far after their
wedding that I can never justifiably do it unless it's like a one year
anniversary post or something.
So I'm just screwed.
I,
I,
I got nothing.
Dude,
you should have gotten the skinny wheel gram off anyway at the pool.
No,
I was a good day.
I looked like shit yesterday.
Your boy,
your boy got faded up during the,
uh,
during the fights on Saturday night and woke up feeling just,
you know,
the worst he's felt during quarantine. It was ugly.
If you go
two martinis into a bottle of
Bordeaux, it's just over.
You're in trouble.
You're in trouble.
There's a post-fight hangover
that comes from the adrenaline of watching
a big-time fight.
It's not as bad as the Friday night post, uh, post happy hour hangovers that I've
been having after all of our happy hour lives, because I, my adrenaline dump after those,
I just feel terrible. And I'm like in a dark place from like 10 PM until 11 PM. Every single
time we do a, a happy hour live. Do you keep drinking after we do?
No.
No, but I mean, like, if we could go,
if we were in, like, a normal world,
I would probably, like, want to go to a bar after
just because I was so fired up about stuff.
But no.
That's how Dylan is.
Dylan's always trying to go to the next bar.
Don't point at me like it's the Brady Bunch thing, Dave.
The bar baby over here here's a
question when when this is all normal again and we're doing a happy hour live like once or twice
a week whatever we end up doing it are we gonna actually go to a bar and people are gonna end up
meeting up with us again maybe this is gonna happen it's fine i'll do anything we'll go to
we'll go to woodrow's and like have our austin crew of like 50 people there every single week i mean at what point do we just do happy hour live sitting at a bar
all with like at the same time like doesn't that seem like we're
yeah we're not far away from that we should just start a restaurant and do it
talk real quick the the deeper we get into this Wilmonds bit, the more I want an actual place exactly like Wilmonds to open up.
I know.
I'm trying to –
I feel like –
Go ahead, Dave.
I was just going to say I feel like that might be what a business book
we once had to read would call a shiny object.
Yeah.
And I just don't know how –
I don't know what it does for the company long term.
But I feel like we might have no choice if this continues, which I think it's going to.
I need to find like a guy who's just like super into starting restaurants.
And I just need to tell him like, dude, we have we have it made like license the IP.
Yeah, it's like, dude, like I can give you a successful idea for a restaurant right now.
And you can license this from me and we can get, we can get mail mailbox money every single month,
just stacking paper.
I don't know if he'll,
I don't know if like that,
this restaurant tour will actually vibe with the rules that we've already set
out at Wilmots.
Like,
I don't know if free rum floaters on everything is going to be the best
business decision for him,
but there's worse business decisions than just like starting a random
restaurant at this point.
I'm going to tell you this.
We might run into some issues with TABC.
But I think once we get past that, I know a couple people who work there.
That's the people who regulate alcohol.
Texas Alcohol Beverage Commission.
They're hard asses.
I was going to say they're desperate after Modern Family just like shut down.
They need a new hit.
Nothing? Nothing. Nothing?
Nothing?
Nothing?
I'm laughing.
I'm laughing.
I'm not audibly laughing, but I am laughing.
God, wrong me.
Oh, Will, you silly bitch.
I will say a couple announcements.
Watched media on YouTube.
Happy Hour of Life has been phenomenal.
We just had a blast.
Go subscribe.
We hit the 3,000 subscriber mark,
which means a new shirt
will be dropping today.
This is the first ever shirt
that has a day mode
and a night mode.
Are you guys aware of this?
Wait, what?
I thought there was only one mode.
Nope.
Explain.
I don't get it.
I won't.
I cannot explain.
This shirt has day mode
and if you match that dark mode
it'll happen so just wait and see
glow in the dark ink
Will that seems expensive
it's not glow in the dark I wish
I wish it could be glow in the dark
so two different colors
just wait and see Dylan
watch media.com
Dylan's not going to be able to notice either way.
I don't do patience well.
You know that.
Yeah, Dylan.
You can't even tell the difference between colors anyway.
So why does this matter for you?
Oh, man.
Sorry.
Hat tip, Dave.
Did I design this?
No, no.
Hat tip, Dave, for the colorblind joke.
I just piggybacked on you
i got more i got more it's the cutest thing so i had to tell parks one day we were we were just
talking about different colors and i couldn't figure out what was what so i had to explain
to him that i was colorblind and he's like his mind was blown he's and he's such a sweet kid
he's like all right i'm gonna help you every time you need help with a color, you just come to me and I got you.
Like, dude, come on.
He's your color guy.
What a guy.
What a guy.
He's your color commentator.
Yeah.
Love it.
Also, one last announcement before we really get into this right now.
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You know we mess with Honey hard.
It's one of my favorite sponsors, if not my favorite.
And we all shop online a lot.
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And when you check out, this little box drops down.
All you have to do is click Apply Coupons.
You wait a few seconds for it to scan every promo code on the internet,
and then the prices just drop.
We've been using this for since...
I've been using this since before they even sponsored the podcast.
And ever since then, I've just been saving money all the time.
Even if you forget that you
have honey and you forget that there's an opportunity to save money it'll just like
surprise you like guess what we didn't forget dum-dum and it'll drop down apply coupons and
save you money just like that it's so tight yeah they're more respectful and they don't call you
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why am i not saving all this money with honey right now uh yeah it's it's just great they've uh found and they've got over 18 million
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joinhoney.com slash circling back that's joinhoney.com slash circling back uh so i still don't
really know what's going on with kim jong-un at this point i'm not sure the
world does but it came out this past weekend that he was perhaps faking his death in order to
expose rats or snitches within his inner circle dude he's trying to smoke out the haters man dude
i love this didn't uh didn't kim k just do this or like a couple years
ago like she gave out some fake baby info to see who would leak it yep yep and this is all this
also happened with uh the english soccer stars wives if you guys remember that story from a few
months back wait what happened with them wayne rooney's wife colleen started leaking information
via instagram because she had a feeling that she had someone, one of her followers, close friends was leaking information to the press.
And it turned out that it was another English player's wife. Who's very good. Jamie Vardy,
his wife was doing it and she just exposed her. Like, I think I might, I might start doing this.
This will be bad news for all the, uh, the Twitter, the Twitter blue check marks that were like,
they were dunking on Trump.
They were saying how the new female dictator in North Korea
is going to just make Trump look stupid during negotiations.
They were almost giddy about it.
It was so weird.
So this has got to be a real setback for them.
That's his sister, right?
Kim Jong-un's sister?
I reckon so, yes, sir. Kind of cute. Here's the thing, right? Kim Jong's sister? I reckon so, yes sir.
Kind of cute. Here's the thing.
This is Dictator 101
is to leak some information.
Snitches get anti-aircraft fire.
But
if you're a dictator,
why do you have the sister still around?
Don't you ship her to
somewhere else so she
can't come at the throne?
Watch the throne you know watch the throne maybe
does Game of Thrones
have any like strategies that Kim Jong
should start implementing into this
I didn't watch
so they can't come at your position
correct
that's
correct
this is the first I've really heard of the sister being in the picture.
Is she like an actual threat to what he's got going on there?
Or is she just waiting around for him to move on?
Who knows?
Here's the problem.
We don't know, Dylan.
God, North Korea is such a crazy place.
I mean, I'm the token guy that read I read one
article on this so I can I can pretend like I'm an absolute expert but she sounds pretty smart
per the article but I don't I don't know if that actually like means anything I saw that she went
to Texas State really yeah she did a poli sci degree there wow that's That's sweet. Yeah, man. I was actually in a couple
classes with her.
Took con law together.
13.10 intro to poli sci.
Reading about Thucydides
and shit.
If you take away
all the terrible things,
North Korea is pretty exciting.
Like, it's pretty fun.
You know?
Like, what terrible things?
Like the literal
concentration camps?
Concentration camps and mass starvation, the killings.
You know, just to get, you know, stuff like that.
No big deal.
Road nuclear program.
I've heard they got great skiing.
He's just an absolute crazy man.
And it's kind of funny.
Best golfer in the world, too.
No, that was his dad.
Yeah, I remember that.
Oh, okay.
His dad shot an 18?
No, his dad shot like a, let's see.
I actually just pulled up his dad's thing.
I think it was like a 28 or something.
Okay, that's fair.
You can't.
A couple of par fives he couldn't reach.
Yeah, I think, so Kim Jong-il, he was afraid of flying
and only traveled by private armored train, which does sound kind of dope.
And on these trains...
Who else did that?
Who?
Hitler.
It's a PFT joke.
Oh.
Sorry.
I'm reading this.
On the trains, he would get live lobsters airlifted to the train every day, and he would eat them with silver chopsticks.
That's sick.
That is very, very swag.
If you have the means to make that happen, why not?
Wait, was he cooking said lobster before?
Yeah, I know.
Yes, I'm sure he was.
I mean, yeah, I assume so,
but what would really shock you if he's like, no, he's just fucking eating these things alive.
You can't eat lobsters alive.
You'd boil them.
I'm sure it's been done.
He definitely had like a dude that his that whose only job was to crack the lobster claws and tail open.
Like that was the that was the guy's only responsibility in life.
That's how like Jerry Jones is how Jerry Jones, one of his
kids' husbands, has his sunglass
guy and he just hands him his sunglasses and he
cleans them off and hands them back
while they're in the suite.
That's a good living if you can
get there. During the draft,
I don't know who that woman was. Maybe his
wife, I'm not sure, was holding the phone up
to him so he could talk.
He didn't hold his own cell phone.
I'm done holding cell phones in 2020, just for the record.
In quarantine, I've become a big speakerphone guy.
I just talk like this.
This is the position.
Like that.
Whatever you're doing is working, Brett.
Yeah, keep doing what you're doing.
Do you guys want the actual numbers behind Kim Jong-il's famous round at Pyeongchang's golf course?
I need to be reminded, yes.
Okay, in 1994, Kim Jong-il once scored a 34 on the course.
He continued that Kim Jong-il achieved a birdie or better on every hole and had five holes and ones.
Later, this claim was further embellished to say that he had 11 holes in one and that this was this was on the first
round played at the course in 1987 where 17 bodyguards witnessed it it's really impressive
to never play a course before and shoot a 34 on it yeah like he didn't know where to miss
he didn't know where like what the greens didn't know what the greens were doing.
That's really impressive.
He sounds like every team that's ever won a scramble tournament
that I've been a part of.
How are people going so low in scrambles?
I don't understand.
Because they're fucking assholes.
They either buy all the mulligans or they're just straight up lying.
Hey, we did 15 under.
We did 15 under four-man scramble, and it's the lowest i've ever gone on a team and i will say that i had
almost nothing to do with it besides the putting but it made me realize like okay
like this is actually doable for good golfers to to go out and do were you on drew's team i was not
i was actually on two two' team who were probably as good
and can actually beat Drew once in a while.
So I was in good shape.
A 52 won that scramble tournament that I went to in March.
No, it's just too low.
It's just too low.
Yeah, they lied.
They lied.
I don't know.
I mean, if Kim Jong-il was still alive,
I would definitely be recruiting him for the first ever washed media golf
outing.
Oh yeah.
Here's the thing. If you're,
if you're a country struggling financially and you're that good at golf,
why don't you just kind of, you know, go play on the tour,
pick up some bucks, pick up some endorsement deals,
bring it back to the homeland.
Maybe change some, like some of the public sentiment, public sentiment. So you're saying just be like a
guy who gets top 10 on the money list and then you just bring that back.
What are the taxes going to look like? West Coast swing, he's getting taxed in California
on that. It's just not great. He'll have the jock tax, but granted
that he's a state entity, maybe they can just figure something out with the interest rates and
do it that way.
I don't know.
I'm just spitballing here.
There's no wrong answer, Brett.
Is there golf courses in North Korea outside the one?
I mean, is golf allowed?
There are no par...
Oh, never mind.
No, there are no par fives on this course that are over.
Oh, no.
From the black tees, there's one that's over 500 yards.
I think I could shoot a 34 on this course.
This is in North Korea, this golf course?
Yeah, Pyeongchang.
The logo says Pyeongchang Golf Chang.
So that's all I know about the course.
It's kind of a tight name for a golf course.
Yeah, kind of hits.
it's kind of a tight name for a golf course yeah kind of hits he's the only one like the the dictators are the only ones who are actually allowed to play this
golf course right it's not open to the public yeah i don't think i don't think it's like a
beauty course where they just got guys like walking around the driving range giving unsolicited tips
and like cracking beers have any of you guys considered
faking your own death and watch
media to see if there are any snitches?
Yes.
I wouldn't tell you if I did.
Well, apparently I'm still a barstool
mole, so yeah.
Do we know if he smoked
anybody out? Was this a successful
endeavor?
Had to have been, right?
I don't know.
I love it, though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't love everything he does, clearly.
But, like, I mean, in terms of just strategizing and trying to figure out who the haters are, this is a great way of doing it.
Didn't he return to a parade, too?
Didn't they have a parade like he's back?
Just a parade for being not dead?
Which is a move that I like, too.
Dude, the old not dead parade.
Oh, man.
What a bizarre story. A lot of bad intel psychopath you don't know what's real
what's not we'll find out in three weeks that he's been dead for five years or some shit yeah
like that's that's definitely like i feel like that's more likely than him still being alive
like that he's just been dead this entire time and we're all just running in circles thinking that he's not we will issue a retraction and regret the error yeah yeah we reserve the right to
not feel bad about this segment no i think we handled it like with journalistic integrity yeah
i think i think you're right you guys want to talk about last dance from last night
you guys want to talk about last dance from last night oh
oh
I will go on record and say
that was the best two hours of
the last six weeks as far as television
goes it was incredible
I don't agree with you but I don't
I'm not saying it was bad by any means
but it wasn't my favorite two episode stretch
that we've seen
I thought episode seven was just fantastic.
Everything about it,
man.
It just,
it got into the,
you know,
it got into Jordan's personality with his teammates a little bit.
And it is just,
it is hilarious watching him just absolutely berate a good dude on his team.
Who's just not,
who's just not going balls out psychopath style
shots to steve kerr
why is steve kerr punching him in the chest though
because it's it's um it's a lower tier of aggression than punching someone in the face
do you think someone in the face it's fucking on do you think he's on did he just shove someone in the face. If you punch someone in the face, it's fucking on. Do you think he shoved?
Did he just shove him in the chest?
Did he just shove him away?
Or did he actually go at Michael Jordan?
I will say that as far as aggression goes, if you straight up shove somebody, that is
more aggressive than punching them in the chest.
A shove is more disrespectful.
Punching them in the chest, it's almost com comical because it's like oh my face is right here
You want to hit my face like that means you really don't want it
Well shoving someone in the chest throws them away and then that gives them more momentum to just run at you
Yeah, I don't punching someone that is
Is more of a warning shot than it is like a full-on. We're about to brawl
I think yeah, you know because it's like a full-on, we're about to brawl, I think.
Yeah.
You know, because it's like I'm not fully committed to the head strike yet.
So we'll see how they respond, and then we'll go from there.
I don't believe that Steve Kerr is just 6'3".
I think he's shorter than that.
Boy, growing up, I always thought he was 6' or under.
It doesn't make sense that he's 6'3".
I don't believe what God tells me.
I saw him in the San Diego airport one time.
This was probably, I don't know, five years ago.
And I remember looking at him and just thinking,
holy shit, that guy used to play with Michael Jordan,
and not the fact that he himself has five rings
and he's a coach of the Warriors.
Just like, wow, this dude played with Michael Jordan.
That's how impactful that dude was for me.
But yeah, he looked to be about 6'3 when I saw him.
You know how I am with heights.
Yeah, you've literally never been wrong, so that's nice.
I've never been wrong.
Did I see you call somebody like a 6'9 on the timeline the other day?
Yeah, he was 6'9, Brett.
Yeah, Brett, it was the 6'9 guy on Dylan's timeline.
Did we confirm that?
Dude, Brett, he's 6'9.
Okay.
The confirmation is right here.
I am the confirmation.
You have the confirmation email?
Yeah.
Dylan is one and two steps in the two-step
authentication were you surprised that they went into the gambling stuff as much as they did
in terms of the theories because i was very surprised and it makes sense
it makes sense that espn would i mean include that for obvious reasons but i'm kind of just
surprised that like the people that were talking about it were willing to talk about it.
I don't know.
I still don't believe it.
I still don't believe what any of those guys said.
Um,
MJ saying that it wasn't true.
Correct.
I like,
I like this theory and I don't believe David Stern at all.
Like,
yeah,
he looks believable on TV saying this,
but at the same time,
like it is your legacy
and you're gonna lie through your teeth in order to preserve it i i like the theory that he got
suspended but no seeing the footage from him and and the devastation from losing his father who was
so close to him and stuff like that it did make it much more real to me to go away from that actual
theory and be like all right but i still i still don't like his baseball career. I feel like it doesn't make any financial sense for David Stern to do that.
That's like when Tiger goes away.
Everybody on tour loses money.
MJ going away, I don't know what the numbers are,
but that had to have really hurt the league.
It was because Stern was a big Akeem guy,
and he wanted him to get two championships before he retired.
Loved the Rockets.
He loved Kenny the Jet.
Okay, Dylan, I need your baseball takes.
As a guy who clearly, you know, everybody knows you slept with a TPX
in your bed every night from age five on, to this day, actually.
Do you think he disrespected the game?
No, I don't.
I don't understand why people, why people think that.
I mean, he gave it like a legit shot.
The guy was passionate about baseball and he tried, he tried to make it.
What's disrespectful about that?
It's not his fault that he was, you know, as big as he was in the eye of the the public
so wherever he goes he's going to bring all the attention no matter what um by the way taking all
those years off like a decade plus off from the game of baseball and then doing like putting up
the numbers he did i mean obviously they're not're not good enough yet to make the bigs.
But he hit like what, like 208, 205, something like that with a few home runs.
That is extremely impressive.
If I went to the batting cages right now,
I couldn't catch up to like an 80-mile-per-hour fastball.
I just couldn't.
The timing, it takes forever to get back on something like that.
It's extremely impressive what he did
just an athlete did y'all know about the terry francona connection before because i did not
and i didn't i had no idea about the uh having to bump him up to double a because of the media
that's the one thing if i'm on if i'm a different player that's the one thing where i'm like are
you fucking kidding me if i'm one of the guys that's trying to hack it and make it in like single a
but like i mean you can't blame anybody and if you're that team you're like yeah get him all
the attention he can possibly get like get all the eyes yeah they say they said it was solely so
they could they could house all the you know the media members you. They needed a big enough facility for the media. I don't know how true that is.
It was...
I mean, there's a publicity
stunt involved in all of it, but you can't attribute
all that to Michael Jordan.
He was just going along with the flow and trying to
do what he can in baseball. I don't know.
If you're pitching to MJ,
are you just grooving him?
Maybe.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
I think there was a lot of that question going around back then too.
People were like, are you just wanting to let Michael Jordan get a hit off you?
Who knows?
Is that like the guy who threw whatever the record-setting home run for Bonds was,
Mike Bassick?
He's the one who threw the pitch, and people were like,
oh, did he groove that to him to be that guy in history?
He denies it, but I've seen some are saying.
That's pure speculation.
I would have.
I would have.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
100%.
If I was in the majors, there's no way that I'm like that good anyway.
So like I might as well solidify my piece of history by lobbing one up to Barry Bonds
and being on TV for every single time that's shown.
Sounds great.
Yeah.
That nobody's throwing Bonds 89 middle in foreseeing fastballs.
Nobody's doing that unless you're trying to get smoked.
Why did it take them so long to figure out that Jordan couldn't hit off-speed stuff?
Like, wouldn't that be all that you threw a guy who's been at a baseball since high school or before?
Like, nothing but curveballs.
Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
Yeah.
Unless you're like...
I could also see people being like, let's see if michael jordan
can hit my fastball absolutely that was what i was gonna say i mean if you're the guy that's a
great story if you're just blowing if you like if you can strike jordan out on three straight
pitches that are just all heat like that's the coolest shit in the world for you you're like
yeah i i just i just struck out the most alpha dude in the world with my as much as i can give
him who can like i I'm the man now.
Is there a dude on Twitter right now that his Twitter bio is I struck out
Michael Jordan in 1996 or whatever,
1994.
Whoever that guy is,
he's his grandkids have heard that story or his will hear that story a
million fucking times.
Yeah.
I was going to say that put them born at like 75,
74.
So yeah. Yeah about i tweeted about this after
the episode a couple weeks back i guess when uh he was talking to seinfeld or whatever about how
i was missing king griffey jr to you know perfectly like you know a microcosm of my like
formative years in the nines and they showed they they showed King Murphy Jr., man. It was perfect. I absolutely love that scene.
It's heaven for you.
Those are my two guys, like those two right there growing up.
So when we were when when September 11th happened, we decided I don't know if it was like a conscious
decision or just kind of like a byproduct of the decision we made. But we kind of decided we were
going to travel for spring break that year very far.
So we decided to drive to Chicago.
Me, a buddy, and his mom drove just he and I down.
And they were releasing a new Jordan at Nike Town in Chicago.
And it was a huge deal.
Like a huge group of people were there.
It was just wild.
It was really cool to see.
And they were having this contest.
And if you guessed certain facts about Michael Jordanordan they'd give you these awesome swag bags and one of the questions was what his batting
average was and my buddy had no clue but he just yelled out 202 and we just got a shit ton of mj
gear we had so much jump man stuff like the amount of wristbands like uh like sweat bands and things
like that we were just like flossing we had to have looked like total losers but it was still an experience i had no idea that was when i realized like how big
uh sneakers were i guess or like jordans were because i didn't know and the day before we
went to nike town and the sales guy was like you guys should stop by here tomorrow it's going to
be wild it's gonna be really cool to see. And sure enough, they were just rolling out the red carpet for everybody.
I knew he did 202 because I was like, oh, that's not that great.
But Dave, you were questioning this before the pod.
How fast do you think Jordan would have climbed
had he just kept on sticking to it as long as he could?
Okay, so he was 29, right, at the time?
So the fact that he was able to hit 202, driving 50 runs without swinging a bat,
at least maybe he was taking cuts in the cage, I don't know.
But for a long time, I think he has the mindset of a guy who,
he would have made himself into someone who was major league
quality now i don't know if he would he wouldn't have gone up there it would have been very
unlikely for him to go up there and actually like you know be an all-star but i think he would have
made it onto a roster he has the resources that's another thing about him at this time like he has
every resource that he needs at his fingertips
to be as successful as humanly possible.
If he wants to go do batting practice in some underground chamber at 3 a.m.,
he can call a dude and they're like, yeah, we got that.
We can build one right now for you.
Let's do this.
And so if he wanted to do it, I think he could have done a lot.
I'm glad he did.
Interesting. Hearing him talk about the difference in a baseball body versus a basketball body, do it i think he could have got like he could have done a lot i'm glad he did interesting
hearing him talk about the difference in like a baseball body versus a basketball body like the
muscle difference and what you need that was kind of interesting because i'd never i've never thought
about that at all um how you have to change your body for the sports i've never thought about that
either yeah is that i guess it makes sense he didn't look any different to me do other two sport athletes did they have trouble in that respect
there weren't that many i guess bo jackson no one played no one else has played those two sports
though yeah yeah that's true but it seems like football wouldn't like i don't know i guess
since football and baseball is always the combo i guess maybe there's not too much of a difference there
in terms of what you need and what you use.
To speak to your point, Will,
he had the Space Jam stuff
when they just built him a state-of-the-art court
and gymnasium right there.
I would love to know the price tag on that.
Yeah. Yeah. I love to know the price tag on that. Uh,
yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know how dude,
just imagining going from filming all day to playing in these pickup games with the best players in the world and all that stuff.
He,
he's just like,
he's not only impressive physically,
but the mental game that he has,
which obviously we know that Michael Jordan is like mentally
one of the strongest people in the world probably.
But like just having that regimented schedule and doing it day after day after day, just
not burning out.
I mean, I guess he did technically kind of burn out of basketball, but he was just doing
this at such a rapid clip.
It just amazes me.
It makes me want to be like way more aggressive about pretty much everything in life.
And then I turn it off and like go to bed and then wake up the next day feeling like a slob.
So yeah, that's that's the thing.
Also, why did why was Sean Bradley on that list of guys that just seemed like he was in the movie?
Yeah, he was in the movie.
But it's like, how is he in the movie?
I guess because the novelty of having a guy who's like 7'5"?
Exactly.
Imagine being on the production crew of that movie
and being there for that.
You see Patrick Ewing and Reggie Miller and all these guys
basically pick up games under a tent on the Warner Brothers studio a lot.
That's incredible.
Basically pick up games under a tent on the Warner Brothers studio a lot.
That's incredible.
It's just for him to get all those guys to come to him just to play pick up games.
Unbelievable.
Were you guys surprised by how many people Michael Jordan called ho?
Yeah.
And bitch? I was like, oh man, he really likes calling people ho.
Yeah.
Ho is a big player in the mid-90s.
Yeah, I guess it was.
I was quite surprised.
I was surprised by ESPN showing him calling that many people a ho
and actually putting closed captions on it.
I was like, ESPN's going hard.
Hey, shout out to Scott Burrell.
That guy's a real trooper.
That guy's the real MVP of this entire deal.
I mean, for him to agree to get interviewed,
and it's like, hey, man, we're going to show about 20 minutes
of you just getting berated by the greatest athlete of all time.
So, we just need your thoughts on that.
They only played together one season.
Yeah, that must have been play together one season. Yeah.
That must've been the longest year of his life.
Dude.
Oh,
poor guy.
Just,
Oh yeah.
I mean,
he,
he called him everything except soft basically,
which is what he was trying to say.
He was a soft guy,
talented,
but soft.
Um,
at least,
at least he did say he was one of the nicest guys though.
Yeah.
I did feel bad for him,
man.
He's got, he got skewered.
Have you ever had someone treat you like that?
Have you ever been one person's just kind of punching bag for a while?
No, I can't think of anything.
Nothing like that.
I mean, nothing like that.
Nothing like that.
I've been there before when like one person would just
like, you know, do it to you. And it, it does toughen you up a little bit, but it, I mean,
at the time it just fucking sucks. It's like, why am I getting like berated right now? And nobody,
everybody else is just getting by Scott free. On my fourth grade basketball team, there was a kid
and we got to, we drafted him. He was like five foot two in fourth grade, which back then was
really, really tall. So we were like, Oh, we got this dude. So he was like five foot two in fourth grade which back then was really really tall so we're like oh we got this dude so he was like the alpha and he used to and i was a tiny guy
like even then like very tiny and thin and he just he rode my ass and he would i mean he would
bully me and stuff uh about five years later man i saw him behind a bar, and I just beat the shit out of him.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Five years later?
Yeah.
So you were like 14?
12.
Yeah, I hung out at a lot of bars back then.
Wow.
Well, good for you.
Well, you know, I had to teach him a lesson.
He didn't grow.
He stopped growing at 5'2", so he was a tiny boy.
Dude, that always happens, man.
I know.
The kids are skewed up way early.
They're done by like sixth grade.
He did.
Dude, I'm not kidding.
Like all jokes aside, he had like a beard and was balding in ninth grade.
Yeah.
How funny would it be if we found out that Brett was the kid that shot up immediately?
And so every photo from Brett's childhood, he's six feet tall and everybody else is 4'11". I would love it.
He was the Andy Reid of his entire grade.
No, dude.
I was always the third tallest kid.
I had the perfect trajectory except stopping at 6'1".
Kind of sucks. But I was supposed to be 6 I had the perfect trajectory except stopping at 6'1". It kind of sucks.
I was supposed to be 6'3", growing up.
That was like my chart with a net out at 6'3".
Then probably because I didn't eat any meat until I was like 16,
that didn't help me.
Your body was just like, no, I'm good.
You're going to need some more info on that.
Yeah.
I had a kidney disease.
Yeah, kidney disease.
I was pretty much forcibly a vegetarian
6-1's not bad though
no I'll take 6-1
but when you see like my uncles
on both sides of the family I'm like
you could have gotten two more inches
if you were
dieting correctly
so
also don't know what it's like to get berated at your
job every day so that's another part of this oh yeah yeah good point i didn't think about that
when i asked that question uh also i'm sorry to interrupt can you guys hear what's going on to my right outside?
No, can't at all.
Thank God.
It sounds like they're hollowing out a canoe with like chainsaws and pickaxes.
I was going to say, I don't know what that sounds like, but that sounds loud.
A little foundation repair?
What kind of childhood did Brett have where he's like,
God, is someone hollowing out a canoe over there?
Dude, we had this Native american like uh this native american
center where you could go play like lacrosse with the old stitch you could go play like you could
go literally hollow out a canoe upstate new york man they had a bunch of those things it was tight
it sounds like it does sound tight i don't think i've ever been in a scenario where I've had the chance to hollow out a canoe.
I'll put you there, Dave.
It sounds like man work.
I'd like to do that.
We'll just go watch Klein's uncle build one on the ranch.
Yeah.
Just his alpha cousins.
Yeah.
Should we talk about French Albert Omax? I don't know how we got there.
I'm sorry.
Let's talk about Omax real quick because everyone knows that
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affect your whole life many of our listeners probably have some type of pain that's prevented
them from sleeping or relaxing or just stop them from exercising perhaps been going on for a few
weeks now it hasn't improved any of the treatments you've tried well guess what we got something here
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remedy works its magic within 10 minutes of application and relief lasts up to eight hours
much longer than over-the-counter products i mean we brett and i used to just lather this stuff on
each other like all the time it's just like dude, can you come over here and hook me up?
Yeah, I got you.
Those hard to reach places?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I've been using it post-run on my shins and cat monsters.
We just figured out that we brought it with us.
It was just on.
We're just lathering ourselves in that stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The cooling relief, it feels so good.
Like it's just such an immediate like, oh, man, this feels great right now.
I'm normally pretty conscious about what topical ointments I use.
And CBD pain relief cream from Omax has been the one that I can trust.
I've been doing it every day here.
After I go on a walk, put it on the calves and the thighs.
Dude, it's great.
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Boom.
Uh,
can we do,
can we do something we haven't done in a while guys?
Something I enjoy doing weekend and week out.
I don't,
we don't actually do it weekend and week out. We probably only, we don't actually do it week in and week out.
We probably only do this about once every three months,
but it's time.
We're going to read some listener reviews.
Um,
just to be,
just to be clear,
I have not pre read any of these.
These are all shooting from the hip from the most recent reviews that we've
had.
Uh,
I'm just going to see what happens.
I didn't want to be too surprised and I wanted to be caught off guard,
but I saw that we had a recent influx.
If you want to go leave one yourself,
just hop on Apple Podcasts and leave us a review.
We love to read them.
They help us in the charts.
It's just a great thing.
You guys ready for a couple?
This is the first one from someone named MT Kegs.
It says, white noise just got even whiter.
I don't,
I don't know what that means,
but it says tired of crashing waves and rainforest sounds ever wonder what
your dad and his buddies talk about when you're not around.
Try circling back a podcast about nothing in particular.
I think,
I think they were talking about just us being generic white dudes,
just generic white guy conversation.
And it does make some sense.
I don't know why they got to bring race into it personally, but okay.
Yeah, I agree, Dave.
I mean, that's fair.
Was it five stars?
It was five stars.
Yeah, I don't read non-five star reviews.
If you're out here leaving four stars because you have some small gripe, no, sorry.
Thank you for leaving a review.
We appreciate all and any feedback. because like you have some like small gripe no sorry thank you for leaving the review we appreciate
all and any feedback but just make sure that we get it in in the form of a five-star review instead
of like a one or four-star review is that is that okay this one's a long one from alissa rockers
her her subject is just i really don't know why i listen as the review title says i don't really
know why i listen i'm a 24 year old, I don't really know why I listen.
I'm a 24-year-old woman living in the Midwest.
These are 30-something, 50, 60 in Doran's case,
men living in Texas.
We have nothing in common,
yet I still consume their podcast content
and have consumed their internet content for years.
Listen to a few episodes.
There is a loading phase.
Dylan, I know you're not in your sixties.
Can I tell you this though,
about your mustache?
It somehow makes you look younger.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know what it is.
It might be the haircut.
That's the haircut.
It's such a haircut.
You have such baseball guy mustache though.
Like I want to see you just like,
I want to see you swinging two bats,
just loosening up before your AB.
Man. I wish I could have grown this thing back in back in like my actual baseball playing days it would have been tight it would have paired well with a polo hat y'all keep getting y'all keep
gassing me up like this i might have to i have to keep it for a minute we'll see they would have
made you shade for the rookie there's no way they would have let you have that in the rookie if
you're trying to be a high school kid playing.
No, I was supposed to be a professional.
That's the funny part about it.
Yeah, if you look at that scene, it's funny.
You can tell some kids, they look like they're 15 years old.
Yeah, they're actually 15 years old.
It's pretty funny.
Anyway.
I believe it.
It's a good review.
I'm not 60
60 what 24 year old in the midwest probably living in oklahoma city or something i mean
look we appeal to everybody well said dave we got any more will yeah there there are a few
there aren't as many as i thought honestly i kind
of had higher hopes for some of these long ones but you know like we'll see i mean this one says
a happy hour give or take i think that's saying because we get a little controversial sometimes
but they said this is from ian brad andrews and it says love eating a burger with exactly one
in parentheses one hand and listening to the fellas so i guess
brett's getting a little uh a little fanfare here we have burgers oh interesting did you eat them
one-handed by any chance uh no but i i know this is gonna make out me as a coastal elitist but
i actually we put we put pickles on them and lettuce it was i know i know
i know crazy dude what i know i know just i don't want to say edit this out dude this this the
podcast listeners and like and your your recent 10k on instagram and everything else is you've
just lost touch david and uh will i'm gonna take you one further i also
we sliced up the tomato okay oh my god yeah that's just that's you're just showing off
someone got a stimulus check that who didn't need it like come on dude like chill out i know uh but
we could these were the pre-made patties from heb i bought these on a whim they had the poblano and
the cheese in it they're
fantastic yeah shout out to heb their pre-made stuff from the butcher is is really uh baller
man i've always i've always wondered how hard those things go they look really good uh they
go very very hard and i will say if you buy any of them that are mixed with bacon they are not
for apartment consumption because they will smoke your place
out it's a kim jong-un of burgers but they um they go really hard yeah dave i will say i don't
i'm not a fan of the pre-made ones that like come in like uh on top of like a styrofoam
plate with like covered in plastic but the ones from the case when they are stuffed with like jalapenos cheddar things like
that they go so hard so hard i can't i don't have the ability to stuff a patty like they do
like they're i guess it's probably not that hard but if they're perfect but they're thick boys
okay um brett uh i did buy hawaiian buns but hawaiian buns, but Hawaiian buns are kind of tiny.
And these patties were like – so I had like the Wendy's thing going on
where like there's a lot of spill out.
So one-handing was absolutely not an option for me.
The Hawaiian bun is more suited to a slider, I think.
How about a spill?
It depends.
You can get the Pepper's Farm Hawaiian buns that are bigger,
and they do encompass a whole burger.
Hold on.
But I know the little sweet Hawaiian sliders are also fantastic.
Brett, you recently put out a ranking of your buns.
Do you want to read that ranking on air right now?
Because I'm not sure how much I agree with this.
Yeah, I would love to because it got zero play in the group text.
So I was just like, all right, I'll go fuck my ass.
Oh, sorry.
That was in the group text?
Bad timing.
I think it's because I was looking around on the internet like,
this ranking can't be right.
Was it Wash Media with Intern Klein as well?
It's hard to say.
Here, do you want me to read this review that we have?
This is an old one,
but one that made me chuckle as I was going through.
It just says my best friend was in a coma for three months.
We tried everything to pull them out of the coma,
but nothing worked.
I decided to play an episode of circling back out loud to pass some time.
After Dylan finally got his intro 36 minutes into the pod,
my buddy sat up and said,
yo, what's Dororn's deal, man?
Glad to help out, man.
That's big.
That's huge news.
Wow, you saved a life, Dylan.
What are you going to do, man?
Glad to do it.
Someone also said this pod slaps.
And then they described each of us and said,
Dave, optimization specialist specialist Texas high school football
booster meat smoker
Dylan Native American
dope dad lover of all things
Greek life I think it's because you went to Santorini
that one time and then it says Will
hates the state of Texas peak millennial
scum great at not introducing fellow
hosts
you are really good at that
you bought the lot pretty good ready for my rankings Will fellow hosts. You are really good at that. You've lost a lot.
I'm pretty good.
Ready for my rankings, Will?
Yes.
Let's go.
Number one.
Number one.
Oh, you know what?
I'll go five.
I'll just go five.
Number five, country white.
Just the buns you get from the gas station,
along with your frozen burgers and ketchup and mustard.
They're there to get the job done.
Number four, Pepperidge Farm squishy wheat buns.
Very solid.
Number three, potato.
Now, here's the big gap.
After you have those, no pretzel, by the way, pretzel.
Here's the big gap.
Number two, sweet Hawaiian that we've talked about.
Number one, brioche.
Brioche buns are the best buns.
They have kind of the golden brown harder top
squishy in the middle toast those up put some butter on them you're cooking can i ask a question
that's going to make me sound like a noob in the bun game what's the difference between brioche
and potato i've always considered these to be pretty much the exact same so having you having
like so much between them doesn't make sense to me well potatoes yellow and brioche is white is my only good
answer for that okay these seem similar to me i i honestly don't know the difference so i'm not
just trying to make fun of you brett so you're you prefer the pepperidge farm king hawaiian to
the king's hawaiian no king's hawaiian is better but king's hawaiian makes the slider buns where
pepperidge farm takes the hawaiian recipe and blows it up into a suitable bun for more of a bigger burger.
Okay, that's probably what I need, but I would feel bad turning my back on King's Hawaiian because I feel like they're like the goat, like they're the originators of it.
And Pepperidge Farm is like big bun.
They're big bun, and they're just kind of jacking their style here.
Dave, I'm not going to disagree with you on that
whatsoever. You're right. You're absolutely
right. I like the style
enough to
go with Big Bun in that scenario.
It's like going to Walgreens and buying the
Walgreens generic Advil liquid gels
when the Advil liquid gels are right there. It's like,
wait, these guys had the formula and then Walgreens
just took it.
Do I need to go with the original just to support them? What's the deal? the Advil liquid gels are right there. It's like, well, wait, these guys had the formula and then Walgreens just took it. Like,
should I,
do I need to go with the original just to support them?
What's the deal?
I do.
I did it.
I stay in King's Hawaiian buns though.
I do too.
Uh, if you have a honey,
if you have a honey baked spiral ham and some spicy mustard and some King's
Hawaiian buns,
it is absolutely over.
My takeaway from all this is that you guys know much more about buns
than I do. Y'all are so deep in the bun game.
I doubt that, buddy.
Come on, Dave.
Come on, man. We're starting a new
burger podcast called Bunkering Down.
Okay.
Bun B is our first guest.
Did y'all ever play buns up as kids?
We called it wall ball okay is that where you yeah is that where you stood in front of a wall and someone threw
the ball at your ass correct yeah this ball yes we used well we did we did it with like a big like
dodgeball but we got in trouble doing that and uh everyone involved on the on the playground
one day we had to stand against the did you guys have to do that when you got in trouble
on the playground you had to go stand against the wall yeah it was like uh when the when like
the mexican government busts a cartel or like they they find like 10 keys and like they they
like they make them stand there and they do like a photo op yeah like we were like yeah we would just would just be playing this game and we just had to go stand on the wall.
And it was like, what the hell?
This is ridiculous.
Execution style, just firing squad.
It's just humiliating.
Yeah.
That was fun, man.
We used to play at the Little League Park all the time.
Do you guys ever play roof ball?
I've never played roof. Maybe. All you needed was a roof and a ball and you would just you would have to get in a line kind of like horse like a pre-estate not
horse uh lightning or everyone has a different name for it knockout whatever you guys want to
call it do you know what i'm talking about and you go and you throw the ball up and onto the
wall and then it rolls down the next person has to go and jump and while they're in
the air they have to get the ball and throw it back up before they land on their feet
and so you're just constantly throwing it back up and it's it's fun that's so it's like knockout
with a roof uh yeah yeah and you can like based on how big the roof is you can like throw it to
the side so people have to like be sprinting around.
It's pretty lit.
It's a little situation.
They made us quit playing that game
because at my elementary school, the ceiling was the roof.
Wow.
Damn.
Did you go, so you went to UNC?
I did.
A lot of people don't know that.
Did you play with Jordan?
No, but we definitely, our paths crossed.
Would he go to some of your parties?
It was like the senior who came by, didn't even drink,
just made an appearance and left.
He was too cool for it, but yeah.
Just smoking cigars at times
when you shouldn't be smoking cigars in locker rooms?
He's wearing the Greg Norman shark straw hat.
It's just like, dude, it's nighttime.
Why are you wearing that?
No, true story.
That reference, Brian Boddicker, former Longhorn great,
and Duncanville Panther, he showed up.
We threw a party sophomore year, and he was a senior at Duncanville.
He showed up wearing the straw golf hat, and he was in there,
and he was like 6'10", 6'11".
He was in there for like seven minutes and then left.
We're like, dude, Parker was at our fucking party.
That is tight.
I mean, that's exciting.
McDonald's all American, man.
Come on.
Brett, did you have any breaking news for us?
Yeah.
As a matter of fact, I do, guys.
We'll a little choose your adventure here.
I just have two things.
You want to go what people are Googling during quarantine
or additional dictator slash presidential feats
of incredible citizenship and athletic ability.
I mean.
They both sound awesome.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Can we just do them both? Yeah, we'll do the first one. Hey, Dave, this both sound awesome. I don't know. Yeah. Can we just do them both?
Yeah, we'll do the first one.
Hey, Dave, this is for you.
Ronald Reagan.
You know him, right?
I know him well.
Trickle down.
I have breaking news as well.
Whoa.
All right, let's do Reagan.
Knock out Reagan.
Reagan.
Ronald Reagan was a lifeguard during high school, Dave.
Guess how many people's lives
he saved in a summer?
One.
77.
That's bullshit.
What?
Ronald Reagan saved 77
lives in a summer.
You got to think that pool was just really dangerous.
They probably should close that thing down.
Was it a wave pool?
I don't know.
That just seems that's like multiple people a day.
Yeah, that's too many.
That means he wasn't a good lifeguard to begin with because he was letting these people get in that much danger.
Just the same guy like 40 times.
You'll see what's going on behind me.
Speaking of dangerous situations.
Hey, Parks. you'll see what's going on behind me speaking of speaking of dangerous situations hey parks he's still in his underwear yeah he's just chilling on the counter it's lit yeah he's trying to he's trying to get your face 77 my phone in he's stealing your
identity as we speak yeah yeah he's running up my tab on dave dave texted him how to do it while
you were on the podcast he's like guys get this done we're gonna delay we're gonna drag out
breaking news for like 20 minutes most kids when they see a mustache they're like it's like an
authority thing and they're like immediately become like you know they they straighten up
he's like rebelling against the stash like he has no respect for you yeah he hasn't even
acknowledged the mustache by the way act like he has no respect for you yeah he hasn't even acknowledged
the mustache by the way act like he was totally normal he doesn't respect your facial hair bit
hey we'll we'll go ahead oh so have you have you guys ever dabbled in the citizen app
it's called citizen it's like next door but like with an ear to the streets like it's like next
door is just people complaining about like random like snakes that they see and like whatever i
mean gunshots yeah you guys are fireworks well these ones these ones on citizen are like uh oh
a car accident just happened outside of your apartment um like gunshots were heard here a
woman was stabbed here it's more like police scanner content
and so whenever i i've considered deleting the app because it's kind of just depressing
and the notifications are really unnecessary but i just got a notification that says
golden doodle rescued a dog has been safely reunited with its owner after falling while
they were hiking in barton hills oh my gosh i know oh that's great like this this is just the
most feel-good story from here and it's now note i don't know why it's doing this but it's notified
20 000 people of this it says the dog and its owner have been safely reunited and it's been
it's being examined at a local animal hospital i don't know why i'm so into this right now but
like this involved firefighters going in and like it has fractured limbs but like this dog got messed up
i guess by falling during this hike and now it's just doing great i'm happy as a clam they they
plan on lifting the dog up from the cliff with a large stretcher so they had to air rescue this
thing you know damn imagine you know what you gotta think air bud was part of that
air bud is actually the care flight for dogs that's actually very very good i like that
man that's a that's the kind of i like that man on next door you scroll through and you'll see
a lot of reunited like missing cat missing dog and you're just it makes you feel happy yeah so
shout out to shout out to these people but but to the owner, what do you do?
Is the dog off leash on your hike? Like you gotta be careful. There's rattlesnakes in it out there.
I'll say Bart, like the green, you know, like green belt and everything. Like people always
bring their dogs there and stuff. I lived near the entrance to that and I never want to bring
Rosie down there. It's like the, it's like a nice little dog haven unless your dog gets lost
because it's nearly impossible to find your dog if it gets lost in that area. And the amount of
cars that I used to see driving around, I was like, dude, we can't take Rosie down there.
Like there's too many things happening. Anyway, sorry to bust in with Will's breaking news.
Brett, what was your final thing about the most Googled stuff?
Well, it was supposed to be most google things in
quarantine turns out i got got and it's like a healthy recipe situation so there's just like 50
recipes you can make during quarantine so it's like homemade fettuccine noodles and asparagus
salads and stuff like that so click i'm not gonna give them dylan i'm not gonna give them the source
or the clicks dylan when you're doing your salmon do you do you have to look up what temperature you
put that in the oven every single time?
Because for some reason with me, no matter how many times I cook the same recipe in the oven,
I always have to look it up and confirm whether it's 375, 400, or 425.
Yeah, they all vary by like 75 degrees, and you just get them all mixed up.
Actually, I started pan searing them, Will, so I don't bake my salmon anymore.
Yeah, I'm a pan sear boy.
Actually, I started pan searing them, Will, so I don't bake my salmon anymore.
Yeah, I'm a pan sear boy.
Will, is it true that at Wilmonds, the oven at Wilmonds only cooks at 420?
Because one of the dudes who used to work there told me that.
Yeah, we keep it at a steady 420.
It's just kind of, in terms of jerk chicken and stuff,
it's just one of the best tasting ways to do it.
It's the sweet spot because 425 is too much. It's too much. someone set it on 420 and broke the knob off is that what happened yeah tide took it
and just threw it in the dishwasher and like tossed on the uh the disposal and sure enough
we just run it at all times brett i've got some breaking news for you, buddy. Sure. I ate the first few bites of my burger last night with my left hand.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dave.
I mean, I get it.
You guys don't want to be wrong.
And then the moment I lost one of the little sandwich pickles,
it just slid out the bottom.
I was like, dude, this is too reckless.
I doubled up.
Brett may be able to be walking around these barbecues one-handing a burger,
but Brett's also the guy walking around the barbecue
with a big spot of ketchup on his khaki shorts as well.
That's a lot of money.
Yeah, it's like when you ever bite into a fried egg or an over-easy egg
and the yolk just squirts out and hits you in the chest.
That's what I do with barbecue. Oh, wait. Yeah. I hate when that happens. Uh, are we done with, are we done with
people fetishizing egg yolk on Instagram? Nothing grosser. I never seen it as a guy who eats eggs
quite literally every day. Nothing grosses me out more than just seeing someone with a pop of yolk in like slow-mo portrait or something.
Yeah, it's gross.
It's gross.
And I don't like seeing it like, I don't like the boomerangs that show like someone breaking a yolk.
Like what is, stop.
It's just an egg, man.
Like these are very common.
We don't need that for your IG.
No.
Hey, Will, why is Dylan banned from wilmont's special events he knows why he he
absolutely fucking knows why dude i apologize for that i told you i'll never do it again
i know um i apologize i apologize to the wait staff i i don't i don't get you have to wait
till june 1st we took a i took a poll last night with the wait staff and june 1st was the date that
they said that you'd be allowed back in you know that's not so bad no okay three weeks nope okay thank you yep hopefully we're around
hopefully we're around them but we'll see one more question brett how do you feel about the
fried egg on a burger i'm curious well well here's the thing it's overdone it's like truffle
in anything people are putting fried eggs eggs on every sort of burger now.
It's on the breakfast burgers.
It's not overdone.
It's not overdone.
Now it's over easy.
I've had two in my life, man.
It's not overdone.
It's on every menu, though.
That's the problem.
I don't think.
Everything's got the fried egg add-on.
Let fried eggs be breakfast burger uh additions and that's it
oh see i like the morn burger i don't need it i still have yet to have a breakfast burger but
i imagined i don't i don't like i like how it tastes but i don't like the mess that it has so
if i'm doing that it's very rare it's very rare that i'll actually do it even though i do think
it tastes amazing but it usually it usually takes me to be in a real mood to do it.
Either hungover, starving, or just not caring.
Yeah, man.
If there's Friday night on my burger after 2pm, I'm doing something wrong.
2pm is your cutoff. That sounds pretty firm.
It's firm. 2pm is your cutoff that sounds pretty firm it's interesting Park says
taking his negotiations to the next level
he says he will pay for it with his own money
tell him
I already Venmo'd him I Venmo'd him for it
it's fine it's on me
we're not going to dip into your
savings account to pay for this
it's alright
did I tell you he was trying to get me to tweet out his cash app?
Really?
Yeah, I was like, dude, I'm not.
Use his Callaway share.
Can you use his Callaway share as collateral?
He has one share of Callaway.
That's worth a lot of money.
We get a dividend check every quarter for one cent.
That's tight.
Literally, it's one cent every single time.
That's tight.
Are you just cashing those and just putting it in your pocket?
I haven't deposited a single one of them yet.
I don't think it's worth my time.
Dude, mobile deposit, dog.
Yeah.
The people at Calware are like,
who are these jerks throwing off our accounting?
They're just not cashing their dividend checks.
They don't appreciate it.
It's costing them more money to call up
the postage than the check's worth.
Oh, they're losing 50 cents on every single
time they do that to you.
Yeah.
Should we get out of here?
Yeah, we should.
I hate that I'm saying this right now.
I hate that I'm saying this. Pretty excited to listen
to your heart tonight.
Yeah.
I didn't. No. You know what? I'm saying this. Pretty excited to listen to your heart tonight. Yeah.
You know what?
I'm going to say this.
I think this is a pretty good episode of what we just recorded.
Listen to your heart. It'll be fine.
Let's knuckle on that day.
I'm trying to get in.
Get in.
A quad nut
we should probably get out of here
yeah let's go this stinks
alright
this episode sucks
take back what I said fuck this episode you