Circling Back - Spooky SZN: Episode 1
Episode Date: September 24, 2019The inaugural episode of Spooky SZN featuring the hosts of the Circling Back Podcast. Segments include Terrible and Frightening Banter, the Spooky Ted Cruz Joke of the Week, Letters from the Nail Bag ...and the Frightening Fact of the Week. For future episodes of Spooky SZN that will run weekly through October, subscribe to the Optimized Tier on Patreon: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Shop Circling Back Merchandise: www.washedmedia.com/shop --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Spooky Season Hello boys and ghouls.
Welcome to spooky season.
Oh my god.
Guaranteed to be the spookiest 30 to 45 minutes of your week.
It's just like circling back, only spookier.
Dave, I say this with all due respect.
Go off right now.
Go off.
Wow.
Okay.
I didn't know what to expect, but it was exceeded.
I was waiting for shit.
I was waiting for y'all to hit me like, hey, you can just send some kind of run sheet.
I really didn't give you anything.
Absolutely nothing.
How long are you going to let this ride out?
I know you like to let it ride.
It's kind of like the great unknown.
You hit two buttons over there. Oh, I guess I'm going to let it ride out until it just
stops. Nice. Wow. I like the hard stop. So, again, welcome to Spooky Season. I'm your
host, David Ruff, aka Big Spooky. Let me introduce my co-hosts, bone chill to freeze.
Thank you.
Big spooky.
It's good to be here.
Very excited for spooky season.
This is great.
And let me introduce my other co-host Dylan shivery.
What?
I couldn't think of anything for your name.
He gets a bone show and I could just,
I'm not bone chill baby.
I'm normally pretty good at this kind of stuff.
I couldn't think of shit for a fun, spooky name.
So why don't you give me something?
I was about to tell you I've never had a more fun start to a podcast before.
And then you hit me with the no nickname, and I'm so disappointed.
At least I intro'd you.
Yeah, I guess.
But you got big spooky and big chill, and I'm nothing?
This is bullshit.
Bone chill.
What do you want to be?
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
Bone chill.
How about Dylan Chiv-ery?
Like a shiv.
Like a prison shiv?
Yeah, it's more of a shank.
I don't know.
A shiv.
Isn't that a thing?
They're the same thing, aren't they?
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's not really spooky.
It's just like-
Just call them like splinters.
It's terrifying.
Yeah.
Okay.
Right?
Maybe the listeners can come up with something for me.
I was going to.
Will, do you really want that to happen?
Well, I can sift through and pick out what I think is appropriate.
That's true.
You know?
Dylan blood spilling chivalry.
Okay.
You know, look, here's the deal.
We got a whole month of this shit.
Won't you?
Let's just call Dylan ooze.
Dude, what's up, ooze?
That's fucking weird.
I don't want that.
What's up, slime?
Man, big spooky and bone chill.
Little oozy?
No, I think that's taken.
That's taken, yeah.
He's going to be at ACL.
That's big, man.
Yeah.
Wow.
Well, this is a great segue into...
Terrible and frightening banter wait did i have a question did they just commandeer all the sound buttons over there
i did yeah any preset we personally like forget about a car that's gone it is gone actually the
sound board has been revamped only for spooky season. Is the mail-in intro still on there, at least?
I can confirm that all the intro songs are still on here.
I kind of wish you would replace the mail-in song
with just like the Bone Zone Bozo theme song
of just the bones clanking.
That was the best thing about Jared's presence on any podcast
was the xylophone on the ribcage at the Skeleton.
I would laugh every single time.
It was so good.
Did y'all know that in sixth grade I was in percussion in the band,
and I had to play the xylophone on multiple occasions?
I did know that.
I also played the gong on Ode to Joy in the Christmas play.
Isn't that where they put the least talented musicians?
Yes, the gong.
Well, but here's the thing.
You had to have great timing with the gong
because it was loud, obviously,
and it only happened like twice.
But if there's a gong on stage or something like that,
the only thing I do as an audience member
is look at the gong waiting for them to hit it.
You want to see the guy who's got that gong mallet
because you know that dude's an alpha.
That's what everybody was saying in sixth grade about me.
Well, you're in band, so.
Yeah.
There was no sports in sixth grade, though, to be clear.
Did you ever do steel drum?
No, they didn't.
Calypso style?
Mm-hmm.
No.
That's a tight instrument there.
Some say it's the tightest.
Some do.
What's the spookiest instrument?
Ooh, you got to think it's maybe an accordion.
Oh, an organ, obviously.
Yeah, organ.
Good call.
Yeah, good call.
I was going to say the UFO.
Did they name that a spooky name?
Ooh, the organ.
Organ.
Organs are spooky.
I was going to say the clarinet.
No, clarinets aren't spooky.
They're too smooth to be spooky.
Both smooth and spooky.
Well, this is fun.
This is obviously going to go up on the Circling Back feed.
If you want to subscribe to this podcast, you have to go to Patreon.
You guys familiar with Patreon?
Yeah.
Dot com slash Circling Back podcast.
You got it right.
You want to join our optimized tier.
This is only for optimized tier listeners, correct?
Yeah.
And I'm going to say this about that tier.
Not only is it the most optimized, but it's the most spooky.
Oh, this is going to be fun.
Spooky.
This is going to be fun.
All right.
Well, let's just get right into it.
Dave, you're killing it so far man
You really are
God
You can't kill that which has already been killed
Time for my spooky Ted Cruz joke of the week
You guys ready for the joke of the week?
You have a spooky Ted Cruz joke of the week?
It's guaranteed to bust your gut
Will
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Why?
Because he had no body to go with.
Dude, my gut is busted right now.
Wait, what does that have to do with Ted Cruz?
It's just the spooky Ted Cruz joke of the week.
You just imagine Ted. It's just the spooky Ted Cruz joke of the week. You just imagine Ted
You actually just like sponsored by Ted Cruz.
I think moving forward, you need to start introducing
it in the Ted Cruz voice.
We could go back and do it again.
Will you retell it? Will you retell it in the Ted Cruz voice?
Let's run it back. How about a spooky
Ted Cruz voice? Okay.
Some guy on Twitter said he would subscribe
to the optimized tier if
I guaranteed spooky Ted Cruz.
Well, let's earn his business, please.
All right, let's do it.
It's time for the spooky Ted Cruz joke of the week.
Will.
I don't know why it's directed toward you.
I like it.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
I'm not sure spooky Ted Cruz.
Why?
Because he had no body to go with.
Crushed it.
This is unbelievable.
It's even better.
Man, we're doing content now.
Well, I guess it's that time.
Let's go to the nail bag.
There are going to be some people out there who absolutely hate these sound effects and i don't
care speaking of organ that there we go wait is that four buttons now that you've claimed that
one actually wasn't a button we didn't have enough room so i'm playing that one right off my lap okay
yeah pull back the curtain okay it works Hey, if you have any spooky stories,
frightening stories, paranormal, cryptozoology,
any of that, hit me up.
Spooky at washedmedia.com.
That's on email.
Computer letters only.
Spooky at washedmedia.com.
We're going to do a few of these a week.
I think they're only going to get better,
but the outpouring of support has been just something that you love to see.
Okay.
And I will protect your anonymity.
It's much like the mailbag, only this is the nailbag,
because a nail is much more frightening than mail.
Like a nail in a coffin.
Correct.
Or just like a nail, you know, a rusty nail that you stepped on.
What about like a hammer and a nail?
I hope you got your tent in shot.
Shacking them bales.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Keep going.
Bales are spooky.
We could do bars.
Bales?
Like a hay bale.
Like hay bales.
Like if you go to like a spooky setup, like there's definitely a skull sitting on top
of a hay bale.
Hay bales are like the under-sold background of spookies.
Ooh, I do like a haunted hay ride.
Yeah, that's exactly.
I think that's what I'm thinking of.
Those are tight.
I did a haunted zipline once.
What?
No, you didn't.
I did.
It was one of the most fun things I've ever done.
Where was this?
At a ski resort that they turned into a spooky zipline.
A spooky zipline ski resort situation.
So to go from each zipline to each zipline,
they'd have ghosts and ghouls that came out
and just tried to scare you a little bit. It was like a haunted house, but in the woods with zipline ski resort. So to go from each zipline to each zipline, they'd have ghosts and ghouls that came out and just,
you know,
tried to scare you a little bit.
It was like a haunted house,
but in the woods with ziplines.
I gotta lie,
that sounds pretty tight.
It was really tight.
Was like the spookiest thing about it,
like the people who put it on
weren't like OSHA certified
or something?
Yeah.
Oh,
I mean,
the spookiest thing was the fact
that like you had some dude
who was probably drunk on fireball,
like linking up your carabiners
and stuff.
You don't want that.
Your what? Carabiners? I've don't want that you're what carabiners
i've always hated that word i'm not familiar with that at all i've never ziplined though i'm gonna
expose my little thing you used to like clasp when you're in the harness and shit really yeah okay
carabiner you've seen free solo and yeah it's obvious you don't know what they are because
he free solos yeah he goes freestyle yeah he doesn't he's the original freestyle king he's a wild man okay you guys ready for some nail how many do we have today
not one not two but three wow okay okay i'm ready i could go four if we even wanted to
let's just see how it goes okay let's do it this this is from Unnamed. It's titled Lucid Dreaming.
That's spooky.
I have something short but terrifying to me.
About once a month for as long as I can remember,
I will have this dream where I'm standing at the front of my bed
watching myself sleep.
I feel like I've had something similar.
I've never done that.
Fuck.
Neither have I.
Everything seems fine and it's peaceful.
Sometimes the dreams will be just that, me watching myself sleep.
However, there are times where this peaceful dream seems to be a little sinister.
I will be watching myself sleep,
but then I'll hear my door behind me open.
I try to turn and look,
but I'm frozen staring at myself.
I start to shake and for lack of a better phrase,
freak out.
I can feel the presence of this entity.
Get closer.
It can hear it moving in my direction.
I feel it right behind me breathing and feel
completely powerless. I think we can all relate to that. That's how I feel in every lucid dream,
powerless. It'll whisper in my ear from time to time, but I can never make out what it's saying.
But I was, however, able to make out what it was saying this past time.
It said, hey, Twitter world, it world it's me yours truly i woke up immediately
after hearing those words and have yet to sleep since truly terrifying thank you wow yeah what a
way to start this thing off i mean you don't want oj in your dreams you don't want a double murderer
in your in your nightmares you got to think that not only a double murderer, but like the online persona of the double murderer.
Right.
Like online juice.
Hello, Twitter world.
Online juice.
Twitter juice.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like, yeah, I think juice is one you just don't want in your dreams,
especially if it's normally a peaceful dream.
You got to give respect to the setup for that story. He put some effort into it he or she i don't know who it was
unnamed yeah anonymous yeah anonymous um i i was positive well done i thought it was going to end
with a what's your deal i thought i thought we're gonna get something legit spooky i did too and
then then i saw dave's face turn and i was like all right we're about to get a dorn joke hello
twitter world do you guys have lucid dreams
i've never been able to like no do the full lucid thing where i can control the dream there are
certain things that i will have happen to me that are intentional that will give me lucid dreams
like if i take melatonin i have the most like lucid clear dreams out of anything else okay
what does lucid mean to you? Because Dave just said control it.
Is that like a characteristic of a lucid dream?
I think so.
Well, so I have the dreams that are very clear
where I'm not in control,
but I'm aware that I'm dreaming.
And then I also will have lucid dreams
sometimes where I am in control.
I have one that is actually really dope
and it's the only dope recurring dream that I have
where I can fly.
Oh, I used to have that one.
It was so much fun.
Remember Super Mario, how he could fly with the cape?
Hell yeah.
And he'd go up and down. I don't know if that was a sound effect,
but yeah. It was close. I have that
dream where I can control it and go higher and lower.
So you can
edge when you dream? Yeah. Nice.
I'm a big edge guy.
Lucid just means you're aware
that you're dreaming. Okay, that's happened to me,
obviously, yeah. I've become aware that I'm dreaming, and if it's a good dream,
I try to ignore the fact that I'm aware and remain asleep
because it's just a tight dream.
Can you wake yourself up, though, if need be?
By the time I realize that I'm dreaming, I'm beginning to wake up.
So it's inevitable.
It's going to happen pretty soon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It says, during a lucid dream,
the dreamer may gain some amount of control over the dream characters,
narrative and environment.
However,
this is not actually necessary for a dream to be described as lucid.
Okay.
This is per Wikipedia.
Okay.
I don't know.
I've never been able to like,
I've acknowledged like,
okay,
I'm dreaming,
but I've never been able to take control and be like, all okay, I'm dreaming, but I've never been able to take control
and be like,
all right, well,
I'm going to go do dope shit in this dream.
I can only control the situation
directly in front of me.
I cannot like leave my apartment
and go do something I want to do.
Like I can't leave my apartment
and go fly to Matt's El Rancho
and hammer some fajitas.
I can only control.
You can handle stuff as it comes at you.
I can, yeah.
Whatever is happening in the dream at that moment, I can only control You can handle stuff as it comes at you. Yeah. Whatever's happening in the dream
at that moment, I can control that.
Okay. I wish I could like go get
bottle service in my dreams.
That's why I think virtual reality
is really dangerous. Because bottle service?
Because, yeah.
Because you're essentially, I think it's
the slipperiest slope we're facing with technology
right now. That's a take.
Quite slippery. I just think that
people are going to get way too into it, and
it's going to be like lucid dreaming where
they can control everything, and then all of a sudden, they're not
actually going out into society and being contributing
members. They're just sitting in their apartment
like a Black Mirror episode. More like
contributing dismembered.
Oh, God.
I've been working on my frightening laugh laugh turns out i don't have a very good one no you crushed it at the end of the episode yesterday yeah but i think i pulled a muscle
you know the muscles in your rib cage i think your oblique no no i don't know what it is the
one that's like under your chest uh-huh well dylan doesn't know those muscles or because he got his
rib cage removed that his entire rib cage. That's true.
Why was that?
I just wanted to look a little trimmer.
The beautiful people.
So I sacrificed the protection of my internal organs for aesthetics.
So like one body shot.
You got to think you're done.
Yeah, you're taking me out.
How many livers you got?
Like Harry Houdini shit.
I think just the standard one.
Kidneys?
I still got two standard one. Okay. Yeah. Kidneys? I still got two for now.
Okay.
Okay, so on yesterday's Circling Back, we not only talked about, like, how many kidneys you have,
what happens if you don't have a kidney.
We got into that.
We also talked about what happens if you go from extreme hot to extreme cold.
I fully expected some DMs or emails, like,
explaining what actually happens and what the right science was.
I've gotten none.
Maybe you nailed it.
Maybe we nailed it.
Yeah, we talked.
I guess we're the record, the noted kidney podcast.
Well, I also wasn't corrected on the two,
the double engines for jets that fly over the ocean,
aircraft carrier jets.
From what I know about Pilot Twitter,
they listen a few days late
just because they try to time it up with their
schedule. I think they're
in the cockpit. They listen
while they're going Mach 3 over the
Atlantic? Yeah. Okay.
Is that what they go, Mach 3? I don't know.
They should just use Harry's.
Agree.
Harry's.com
slash circlingbackpodcast. Wow.
You guys ready for another one yes
all right let me warn you this one's very spooky
oh my how many sound effects do you have what's up dave there aren't that many buttons on this
i've got a pretty what are you doing i've got a pretty spooky story that has been with my family
for a long time dylan this one will hit close to home.
Oh, okay. I had a great grandpa who built this big farmhouse in Llano, Texas. Oh, shit. Dylan,
you know Llano, Texas. That's 22 miles from our ranch, man. That's in the hill country, right?
It's in the Texas hill country. How do you know the exact mileage? I've made the drive many,
many times. Okay. I drive through Llama. It's where the family has spent Thanksgiving
and hunting season
since I was born.
After my grandpa passed in 2010,
my family and I
have experienced
some super strange things.
The first happened to my aunt
who claimed that one night
she woke up
and felt a presence in the room.
She sat up
and she felt someone sit on the bed next to her
and felt a chill go down her back. She turned on her light and nothing was there. Another time,
my brother was sleeping in the same room that my aunt had been sleeping in that night,
and the same random wake-up happened, and he looked over and could just see what looked like a silhouette pacing in front of the window at that point i'm out i just want to point this out yeah like i'm
gonna go sleep in my car or just leave going to town as soon as something visual like visual
happens if i see something then i'm out i mean a feeling is something and hearing something is one
thing too but seeing something i trust my eyes, man. I'm out. True.
He scrambled to turn the lights on, but no one was in or outside the house.
Keep in mind, this is a super secluded home in the hill country.
So is he with his aunt right now?
No.
She was there the night before.
This is on a different night.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Just making sure.
Sorry.
If he was in the bed with his aunt, this would be a different tale.
I thought it was a little weird.
I thought it was a little weird. Different kind of spooky. Yeah. Yeah. Like more oddity, really. Sorry. If he was in the bed with his aunt, this would be a different tale. I thought it was a little weird. I thought it was a little weird.
Different kind of spooky.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like more oddity, really.
Sure.
Fetish.
I mean, it's just odd.
I don't know what your recommended tab looks like, Will,
but despite all these stories,
I've always been pretty skeptical until last spring break.
So that's SB2K18.18 sure me and some of my boys
went up there to spend some time out of time swim in the river and have a good old time i don't know
if that's a song lyric but that's how we wrote the email it sounds like a luke bryan lyric we had
we um we had to come back from the river pretty late one night. We got home and crashed right away.
I woke up randomly in the middle of the night,
and I could feel someone in the room.
I could hear breathing and stuff.
I called out one of my buddy's names like,
hey, get the fuck out, and no one responded.
I immediately reached for the lamp and turned it on.
No one was fucking there.
I'm reading this email as is for the record.
So you didn't add swear words to it?
No, no.
Spooky enough without them.
I got up and all my buddies were sound asleep.
I don't know, man.
I still don't know if I believe all this ghost stuff,
but it's pretty fucking eerie
every time I've stayed in the house since.
Thanks.
If you have a visual of something
and then later on you have, you know,
the sound of someone breathing next to you,
that's enough for me.
Yeah.
You know?
Like the evidence is piling up at this point.
I agree.
You know, sometimes you can think,
maybe I was dreaming.
Maybe I was in, you know, you're kind of,
sometimes you're in that state
where you're between the dream and awake and you're like like not really there it's almost like you're in like
a float tank you know okay my mind's playing tricks on me yeah I know you're talking about
you've been there yeah you're in between and you're kind of just like rolling around in bed
like kind of living it but at the same time trying to go back to sleep it's it's a weird
feeling but you can you can tell the difference between reality and your subconscious right i mean i've i'm always
i've always been able to tell as far as i understand anyway sometimes yeah but what if
your subconscious isn't reality dude wait what i don't know dude yeah i don't know what if though
yeah wow Makes you think.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
That was Dylan's brain exploding.
Now it's time for my frightening fact of the week.
This week from the Harvard Business Review.
Dylan, at nearly $1.6 trillion,
student loan debt exceeds accumulated car loans and even credit card debt.
Many argue that it is also a crisis for our nation's economy.
Servicing this debt has a chilling effect on the sale of houses, cars, appliances, and furniture, as well as spending for vacations and luxury items.
Economists project an accumulated student loan debt of $2 trillion by 2021
and a growth of 7%
a year, as much as $3 trillion
or more by the end of the next decade.
Truly frightening.
It's from the Harvard
Business Review. I thought that was pretty scary.
That's frightening.
Right? Yeah. It's a crisis, Dave.
Do you have an Elizabeth Warren joke that you can
tell because she wants, doesn't she want to forgive
student loans? I feel like Bernie
Bernie does. No, Bernie's going to forgive medical
debt, which that's also
frightening. It is.
Damn. I don't know. I feel like if you're
going to forgive medical debt,
you may as well throw student loans in there too.
What's Yang going to do?
He's going to give $1,000 to everybody every single month.
Universal income.
Yep, $1,000.
I could use an extra grr.
Forgiving his debt, what does that mean for the debt holders?
Like the banks that have loans.
Oh, they're fucked.
Right?
They're fucked.
I don't understand that shit.
I don't care.
I need someone smart to explain it to me.
For them, it's truly frightening.
I mean, I don't necessarily want banks to go away because I'm sure that they're important. But, like, I don't care. I need someone smart to explain. For them, it's truly frightening. I mean, I don't necessarily want banks to go away
because I'm sure that they're important.
But like, I don't know.
Won't that cause a serious economic problem?
To be clear, Will does not want banks to go away.
Just to be clear.
I'm not an economist, obviously.
I'm a big economist.
It seems problematic.
I'm a numbers guy.
It seems problematic to forgive all of that debt.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Can we slash interest rates or something? Wouldn't make more sense or just yeah just cut interest all together maybe
we just select yang we just get that thousand bucks in our account and you know what are you
gonna do with your thousand bucks me you know i was thinking about that i think i'm just gonna
stow it away i think i'm just gonna have my gang account on my chase app and just stow it away and
then just blow it on like i don't know
700 with a red bullet target like uh brett did yesterday i'm getting bottle service
getting the boys together that'll be like every month yeah dude yes that's that's really cool
so like you're welcome you do the bottle service i'll rent like um i don't know we'll do bottle
service in different towns i'll pay for the net jet or the wheels up we'll do private pg i don't know. We'll do bottle service in different towns. I'll pay for the NetJet or the wheels up.
We'll do private PJs.
I don't know.
I don't think $1,000 a month will cover NetJets.
You don't think?
You're going to have to dip into your own money at some point.
I do think that if the squad got together with $1,000 once a month,
that we could cover the bottle service.
Here's what I will do.
I will use that $1,000 to pay off the debt that I go into to NetJet,
to different towns.
Okay.
That makes sense.
Huge, yeah.
That's great.
Yeah. Hey, I was just thinking about that previous email how how shitty would it be if you have like a dope ranch in the hill
country in lano very expensive land out there but it's haunted yeah that kind of stinks like that's
that's not well do you remember the story i told about uh i don't even know how true this story is
you know how your parents tell you things when you're little and you're not really sure if like
they actually mean it yeah like my dad told me that they they they and
they had a family cabin on the au sable river in michigan and every single person that lived in
that cabin eventually got brain cancer jesus god it's not as much i'm so like so apparently
concerning than anything he probably told me this story 20 years ago. He said that when it became time for my aunt and him to inherit the cabin,
they were just like,
ah, no, let's just maybe get rid of that thing.
Because of the brain cancer.
Yeah, we don't need brain cancer.
Damn.
Makes you wonder.
That is truly terrifying.
Spooky.
That is pretty frightening.
Oh my gosh.
Let's do another one.
Okay.
Let's go back to the nail bag.
What's up, daddies?
So happy you're bringing this segment back,
if you actually are.
I grew up in an old haunted farmhouse.
Unnecessary shade?
Yeah, a little bit.
It really was, wasn't it?
Like we said we were doing it.
To be fair, this is from March when I originally teased it.
Oh, okay.
So this person, male or female, she called us daddies.
It's a lady.
You've been holding on this email since March?
Yeah.
Wow.
There was a few because I did talk about bringing this back.
But, you know, here we are now doing a whole new spinoff pod.
Sure. Things weren't as spooky in March.
No, no.
We held on to it.
It was springtime, man.
It's the least spooky season.
When I read this email, I immediately turned into red-faced vein kid meme
because I wanted to tell this story.
Okay.
I grew up in an old haunted farmhouse in Ohio,
so I have a ton of great ghost stories to share,
some including real encounters using a Ouija board.
I was just going to ask if we had one on site.
Have you ever used a Ouija board?
I have.
Yeah.
Did you find out anything spooky?
I was a kid.
I don't really remember it.
I just remember being a little freaked out.
I remember dealing with my sister's friends.
Nice, dude.
How old were they?
Dude, two years older than me.
So I thought I was big balling. Just sitting my toy room with like my sister's hot friends just
chilling damn dude that was that was me growing up man we get it dude as much attention as i could
get from them for a little confidence sister was two years older than me always brought her friends
over i'm surprised dylan wasn't like dude no one's better at the ouija board than me nobody
nobody contacts the other side oh dude no i contact the other side so much better i talked to so many ghosts dude you have no clue oh my god oh that's funny i always thought the
idea of the ouija board was like very terrifying and then like you saw i was produced by like
milton bradley or like you know like a big company it's like this couldn't be that spooky what was
that was that not a sound effect no was that Was that sound out here or in my headphones?
Oh, out here?
I think it's trash day, so it might be.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so it's not thunder?
No, I don't think so.
Either way, that was quite spooky.
Trash day is a spooky day.
We're on high alert.
Oh, is it Tuesday?
Yeah, it's trash day.
Okay.
Once when my little brother, Will, was a baby.
Is it you?
My dad was downstairs working on his books when he heard Will crying through the baby monitor.
How do you work on your books?
I'm thinking like...
He's an accountant.
Yeah.
He was cooking the books, basically.
He wasn't like...
Just like we do.
Working on creating like a cover or something.
You know the worst part of being in public schools in Texas
was that you had to
cover your own books.
Remember they would give you
the books first day
and then they would give you
book covers.
That was trash wasn't it?
And you had to fold it over
and then you couldn't use tape though
because it would ruin the
it would compromise.
We never did that.
It's such bullshit.
You didn't cover your books?
No.
Oh we covered the shit
out of our books man.
That's probably why
every book I had
looked like trash.
But it's cool
you could doodle on it
and stuff.
It was fun.
Yeah. But I feel like Michigan probably invested more into on it and stuff. It was fun. Yeah.
But I feel like Michigan
probably invested more
into public education.
You should do the Stussy S.
I was going to say,
the only thing you doodled
was Stussy S's.
I was doing it.
I was so good at it.
I was doing yin-yangs.
Dylan just had baseball bats on his.
No one did a better S
than I did.
Nobody.
You got to think
some people out there did.
I shaded it.
It looked so good.
It was three-dimensional.
I would do the cubes,
the 3D cube.
That was the easiest thing to do, David.
Grow up.
After a few minutes, Will stopped crying,
and my dad could hear him sort of whimpering.
All of a sudden, he heard a voice come over the monitor
of a woman whispering,
Shh, little boy.
Everything will go away soon.
My dad, thinking that was strange,
but also not knowing what to think, went to the stairs and yelled up at my mom.
My mom came in from outside just then and said, yeah, what's up? Obviously, this scared the crap out of my dad, so he ran upstairs to Will and saw he was in his room alone. Needless to say,
my parents stopped using that
room as the baby room and still to this day do not step foot in it there's something creepy about
a connection between babies and ghosts and will is the one in our family who still experiences
things the most including waking up with scratches down his back and numerous shadows showing up
behind him in photos anyways Anyways, you guys rock.
I'm a lifetime backer.
Love you.
Bye.
So Will is haunted.
Will is, yeah.
What's up with Will's getting haunted?
Like the kid from Stranger Things,
he's taking the most L's out of anybody in that entire series.
That one got me a little bit.
That's pretty terrifying, terrifying man if you hear a
woman's voice coming from the baby monitor and mom's outside what the fuck yeah that that does
kind of scare me because the baby monitor is kind of it's white a lot of white noise right
and i feel like in like paranormal shows and stuff that kind of it's kind of what they use to pick up on ghost sounds.
I don't know if you guys are into any of those shows,
but like ghost hunters.
They use baby monitors?
Not baby monitors, but like the same technology.
Right, right.
Do they have like,
so kind of like if you had a camera in your house
with baby monitors,
can you rewind if you need to?
I doubt it.
The ones that I have used for the homie, no.
Be honest, did you have broke boy homie? No. Be honest.
Did you have broke boy baby monitors?
I don't know.
It was something we got from a registry.
Well, I talked to...
Yeah, they did.
I talked to Parks.
Parks was like,
dude, these things are so bootlegged.
The security in this place is just bullshit.
I mean, it worked fine.
It was a good baby monitor,
but you couldn't go back and run the tape on it.
I'm going to be a helicopter parent,
especially knowing now that babies are haunted.
I feel like I'm just going to be a helicopter parent, especially knowing now that babies are haunted. You got it.
Like I'm just gonna be
a helicopter parent
who just like has a camera
on his kid at all times.
You got to think
those do exist now, right?
Yeah.
Like iPads and records.
I feel like technology
is through the roof of these.
A lot of them are connected
to an app.
You can pull up the feed
on your phone,
which is pretty cool.
Yeah.
I feel like that's essential
these days.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They probably all do that now.
Honestly,
the one we had didn't. I need to get one for Randy. Yeah. Yeah, they probably all do that now, honestly. The one we had didn't.
I need to get one for Randy.
Yeah.
Just to monitor him
and see what's up.
Okay.
I just hear him start howling.
My sketchy-ass neighbor
gave me a...
Do it.
That's Randy.
That would be tight.
Did you record Randy
and upload it to the computer?
I did.
I did indeed.
Okay.
Where the hell did you get all these sound effects?
The vault.
I'm just imagining Dave outside in the woods behind his house with a microphone just holding
it up waiting for a coyote to howl.
Coyotes got kind of little bitch ass howls.
Do they?
Yeah.
It's still scary but like not
not a wolf when you hear multiple that's when you know because you can hear them in this
neighborhood all the time man coyotes yeah coyotes coyotes that's how our um our ex-president
pronounced it coyote really which one oh he has Yeah. Yeah. You won't be shocked to learn.
I would love it if Obama did it.
Coyotes.
Coyotes.
Yeah, no, coyotes, you know, they're scary in theory,
but, like, if you ever run across one.
Our governor shot one, allegedly, while he was jogging with his dog.
Remember that?
Is that legal?
He was carrying, yeah.
It's open carry, bro. So he handgunging with his dog. Remember that? Is that legal? He was carrying. Yeah, it's open carry, bro.
So he handgunned a coyote.
Allegedly.
Personally, I don't believe Rick Perry.
I don't believe that story.
It just sounds too convenient.
Just imagining.
It just sounds too Texan.
He did run for president,
so I feel like he was trying to like.
I think he killed this for fun sport
and then came up with a, a contingency plan.
He claims that he was jogging in Austin and with his dog on a trail and he
just happened to run across one and just,
which is weird because they,
they're very scared of humans.
They will not approach a human for the most part.
There's something up here.
Yeah.
I don't have the,
even if I was carrying,
like I don't have the guts to just take out my handgun and just put two in its eyes.
I don't know if it was in its eyes,
but...
I feel like there's better...
You know, you gotta...
I don't know.
Maybe he did go for the eyes.
The only reason to do that
is if it's trying to...
If it's being aggressive.
He said it attacked his dog.
You know, that's possible.
It really is.
Sounds like you're a Rick Perry guy.
Not probable.
Should I start carrying it
in my dog park?
I thought you did carry it.
Just in case another dog tries to attack Rosie again,
I can just shoot it?
I'm not going to endorse that, no.
Okay.
Yeah.
We need more good dogs with guns.
Although you are a big gun guy,
as we saw at the ranch that time.
Is there anyone you trust less with a gun?
No, maybe not.
Are you a good shot?
Did y'all shoot at the ranch?
We shot at the ranch, yeah. I was not a good shot? Did y'all shoot at the ranch? We shot at the ranch, yeah.
I was not a good shot.
What were y'all shooting?
To be fair, though, we were shooting pistols from like 30 yards away.
It wasn't a big target, so it's hard to hit with a pistol.
We were shooting 9mm.
We had a.22 out there and a.40 caliber Glock.
Damn, keep that thing on you. Yeah, the Glock is minelock. Keep that thing on you.
Yeah, the Glock is mine.
I keep that thing on me.
Do you have it on you right now?
Yeah.
Put it on the table.
Do you want to disclose if you have any
weapons that might get banned by
Beto?
What's he banning?
Potentially.
Beto will never have the power to do anything.
The AR?
ARs.
AKs. I do not own an AR-15 and i i don't see the reason to really you don't hunt with those no my i've only been
around one ar-15 in my entire life and i'll be honest i was really glad it was there my my
stepbrother and stepdad each have one however okay i weirdly know i guess not weirdly if you live in texas you probably know someone who has
a ranch or a farm who just who has a a weapon like that i can't say who it was because i don't
think they would want me to say but one night i was at their house and all these helicopters
started flying around the house the neighborhood and it was like very very loud and we were just
kind of sitting there like uh someone on what? Someone on the lam running around?
Fugitive?
Yeah.
So we got a text from one of the neighbors
and they were like,
hey, there's apparently a gunman out right now.
And so we started freaking out
and he was like,
I'm getting my gun.
And I thought he was going to pull out
like some small gun.
No, it was an assault rifle.
Set it down right in the middle of the living room.
We just sat there waiting.
He was ready.
Yeah.
And I was just like,
all right, like, I'm not a big assault rifle guy but at that time i was
like you know what kind of glad this is here because i don't know who's about to pop into this
what if he would have pulled out the uh the pistol with a absurdly long barrel that uh the joker
pulls out and michael keaton batman like it's just it's like comedically long. It's like, what do you, I guess that thing would work.
It's just a Tommy gun.
Tommy guns are tight.
Yeah.
I would have wanted a 12-gauge, like, defender, short barrel shotgun.
Just saw it off.
Yeah, saw it off.
Saw it off's illegal, I believe.
Under a certain length, it is, yeah.
How do you kill ghosts?
Dude, you can't, man. They're already dead. You can't kill what's already dead, right, Dave? What is dead may never die, yeah. How do you kill ghosts? Dude, you can't, man.
They're already dead.
You can't kill what's already dead, right, Dave?
What is dead may never die.
Well, how do you kill zombies?
Because they're already dead, right?
You gotta get them in the head.
Right to the dome.
Blow their head off?
Yeah.
Actually, there's some species of zombies you shoot them right in the dick.
Yeah, I've heard that.
They're called dick zombies, actually.
They're very frightening.
They're called dick zombies, actually.
Very frightening.
It's funny.
Before I started recording, Dave said,
you've got to have the headphones on for this.
I'm thinking, oh, we've got some emails we've got to listen to.
It's all for sound effects.
That's the only reason we have the headphones on.
It's also really hard to listen to emails, too, Dylan.
I meant voicemails.
What a pathetic loser. So killing a zombie is much like playing defense for the New Orleans Saints.
You kill the head and you kill the body.
That is a Greg Williams joke.
No one expected that.
No, I didn't see that coming, man.
Sorry.
Yeah.
How do you even remember the quote?
Because I remember thinking, eh, that's kind of badass.
I think he was speaking, speaking like metaphorically, right?
Are you talking Bounty Gate?
Yes.
No, he wanted to rattle some brain.
Okay.
Yeah, but you're probably right.
He wanted to rattle some brain.
Which is weirdly what Dylan says before hitting the square.
All right.
Come on, man.
Dude, I thought we emailed about this.
We're not going to do that on Spooky Season.
Oh, yeah.
Dylan sent a company-wide email saying no jokes about me during spooky season.
That did not happen for the record.
I like the idea of you sending a company wide email.
Important.
Must read.
Yeah,
we don't,
we haven't gotten that formal yet.
The group text though.
Do we even,
I don't even have like an email signature.
I don't either.
We need custom ones for spooky seasons.
Did you get your pics added yet?
Yeah.
What the hell are you doing?
I didn't do anything.
I don't have control
over your emails.
You somehow became
the admin of our entire
email system
and banned everybody
from getting photos.
I did not.
And then we hired Brett
and Brett figured it out.
That's why we brought
Brett on, man.
Brett's a magic bullet.
Dylan's 39 years old
and Brett's 26
26?
Brett's 25
he's 22
you're 22
he's 19 years old
Brett's sitting in here
people will be
surprised to learn
and we can confirm
that he drinks the
16 ounce
sugar free Red Bull
yeah someone
that looks bigger than
16 ounces.
I just want to point that out.
One of our listeners did the math
on how much he's spending yearly
on Red Bull,
and it turns out over the past five years
he could have bought, what was it?
Two 1999 Miatas.
I don't know why anyone would need
two 1999 Miatas,
but technically speaking,
he could have bought that
instead of all this Red Bull.
I heard Miatas are like tattoos.
Once you get one, you just want more.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
It's exactly like that.
99s in particular are really addictive, apparently.
Guys, thus concludes our first episode.
God.
Of spooky season.
I had a lot of fun, Dave.
Spooky.
I mean, I was spooked, but it was a fun spook.
Just kind of, ooh.
Right.
A little chilly in here.
Normally it's like disturbingly warm.
Gotta get the spook off of us.
Next week, tune in on patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
Launching every Tuesday.
I'll give you a little tease.
Next week, we will talk the legend of the Goatman.
Ooh, who's the Goatman?
Actually, save it.
It's got a little local flavor.
There's a Goatman legend that I knew about growing up.
I wonder if it's the same story.
Because there's one.
This particular legend of Goatman is from Lake Worth,
which is in the Fort Worth area.
Oh.
So you probably heard the same legend of Goatman
that I heard growing up.
Dude,
my parents and my parents'
friends,
we used to go camping
and they would tell us
the Goatman story
and they would have like,
people off in the distance
like making sounds
like a goat sound
that just scared,
we were kids,
just absolutely scared
the piss out of us.
Was there one dad
who just like,
had like the best goat noise?
Yes.
Yes. Like he was like, actually Go the best goat noise? Yes. Yes.
He was actually Goatman.
It was terrifying.
I don't even know what...
He's half goat, half man, Will.
Do goats bat?
What noise does a goat make?
Dylan, do your best Goatman.
Do a goat.
What sound do goats make?
I'm imagining them being like...
There it is.
Isn't that a sheep?
Or a lamb?
They're very similar.
I think they're the same genus.
That's not bad.
That was bad.
That sucked.
That was not good.
That sucks.
That sucked.
The thing about the goat man is it's a goat that's also a man.
What was the lake that the goat man's from?
Lake Worth.
Oh, and your family camped at Lake Girth, right?
No, that's not...
No, they did not camp at Lake Girth.
Okay, just making sure.
It's not a real lake as far as I know.
Okay.
Lake Girth.
Dave, excellent, excellent production here, sir.
Thank you for joining us.
Join us next week if you so dare.