Circling Back - The Battle of Cabo San Lucas & Live Leakin' ft. Sally
Episode Date: July 21, 2021Sally fills in for Dave on the leakiest episode in Circling Back history. Dillon has some choice words for Cabo Dave, scary Texas bugs, a Russian couple who hid from a bear for ten days, the ugly baby... Tiktok trend, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:23) Dave vs. Dillon (Cabo Edition) ft. Expose Him (32:55) Animal News: Russian Bears & Texas Bugs (46:50) Ugly Baby TikTok Trend (57:44) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for free football) Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (free one-month trial) Reliefband: www.reliefband.com (CIRCLING for 20% off + free shipping) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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All right, we're back circling back podcast presented by Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola.
My name's Will DeFreeze. To my left, Dylan Chivary.
There's so many things I could lead off talking about right now.
The fact that you both have montage clothing on.
You just said you weren't going to bring it up.
The fact that I've started watching Love Island.
Kanye's dropping a new album, we could get into that.
Today's Dave's birthday.
I don't know where I want to start.
I'm so excited about today's episode.
So where do you want to fucking start?
Today's just going to be different.
Where do you want to start?
I don't even know.
Like I said, I'm just kind of torn.
Maybe like, hey, guy, we get it.
Y'all been to the montage.
Like, we get it.
Okay, here's the deal.
So this morning I get up.
I'm down bad today.
This morning I get up out of bed and I can feel a pain on my arm
where I got my mole removed.
And so I decided, you know what, I'm going to take off the bandage.
I'm going to go take a shower.
I'm going to let this thing breathe for the day.
Can I say, the size of your scar is surprisingly very big.
Thank you.
Thank you for repping my scar size.
I don't remember you having like a half dollar size mole on your arm, but that's the size of the...
They have to remove more than that, Dylan, to get the tissue.
Sally, I was making a joke.
And then they also have to do...
We're up to have a medical professional in the studio, isn't it, Dylan?
We get it.
And then also they have to do it in a football shape so it isn't a line and it doesn't like...
They do it in a football shape because they know I'm the sports guy.
I'm big into sports. I don't think that's why they do that so I decided to get one of my lighter t-shirts it has a little shorter
sleeve on it and and have it so it didn't you know drape over my my wound
the entire time my oh my and so so here I am sitting here in my the montage shirt
that I got for free from the resort because I had a resort credit.
Very cool.
And Sally comes walking in with the hat that we got for free as we checked out of our baby moon.
That's pretty sick.
We get it.
My hair doesn't look good today.
Your hair always looks good.
You get more compliments on your hair than anyone I've ever met.
We got married at the montage.
We get it, all right?
That's all I'm saying.
Dylan, you've been to the montage.
Shut up.
That's true.
You're so annoying.
It's pretty sick.
You arguably went to the – you actually, not arguably, went to the most expensive montage.
Yeah, that's facts.
I don't even want to hear it.
That's just facts, honestly.
You didn't need to flex that hard, Dylan.
Is this some weird-ass roundabout way for you to just say that you ball?
No.
I do have a mask from there.
Like a mask.
Is that mask different? It has the montage M on it, so it's kind of from there. Like a mask.
Is that mask different?
It has the montage M on it, so it's kind of dope, but that's all.
So if you listened to Too Much Dip the other day, you heard us talking about MJ's flu game,
Giannis' tanky game.
People are going to consider this episode of Circling Back to be Will's allergy game.
There's a big chunk missing from your arm right now.
I told you I am down bad.
I have allergies.
My nose is pouring snot.
I have a hole in my arm.
Sheesh. It's not a hole.
It's a divot.
It's a divot, yeah.
Looks like I caught too much turf with the 9-iron or something right out of your arm.
What's your problem?
She did say that the fat was going to redistribute so that it looks normal again.
It's kind of divity, right?
Like, what's up with that?
I think she heard that tiny arms are in, so she's just slowly shaving some of his arm off.
I'm the only person at this company who's, like, man enough to-
Dude, you're so committed to having tiny arms, you got some of them removed.
I'm getting cosmetic surgery on my arms to make them tinier.
That's sick.
Just a little bit at a time, coming out that's a muscle just shaved
away y'all don't know how dedicated i am right now my goodness it's inspiring we also have in
the studio today to my right my wife sally to freeze welcome to the program thanks welcome
how you doing today welcome sal i'm good i wore a hat because my hair looks like shit.
We know you wore a hat.
You wore many hats.
You're a mother.
You're a wife.
You're a medical professional.
That's fair.
We really appreciate you here.
That's very sweet of you, Will.
You guys are so cute.
Big time.
Are you going to bring up the leaking thing?
Earlier today, she started pressing on my wound.
She started pressing on my wound.
And she's like, does this hurt?
I'm like, yes, ow, that hurts.
And she's being all mean to me.
I'm like, what am I supposed to do?
Not move when it hurts?
Can I tell a little anecdote about something that happened,
I don't know, five minutes ago?
Sure.
We're sitting here, and video man Randy
is really struggling with the videos for some reason.
So it delayed the start of the podcast.
Because he didn't want you to look orange, okay?
I don't think that was it. I i always look orange anyway so we we kind of pushed the start time back a little bit and uh sally start would
you stop no keys we get it dude you drive a push to start vehicle very cool anyway sally's sitting
here getting a little impatient i think and says if we don't start soon, she's going to start leaking.
I have to feed him or pump every three hours.
Look, no, we get it.
You're the mommy of a newborn.
I think you're the first person to ever be like a breastfeeder on the podcast.
This is big for us.
And if you leak, you'll be the first leaker on the pod too.
No, there's definitely been leakage that just
had to be discussed
on the podcast.
If you did leak,
it would do numbers
for the pod.
True.
So I'm not rooting
against it.
That's fucked up.
That's what I'm saying.
That's Fritz's food, dog.
Every leak is less
that he's feasting on.
Like, what's your problem?
I just want this company
to do numbers.
That's all.
Thanks for being here, Sal.
Thanks for having me.
What a disjointed start to this podcast.
We're having fun, man.
What are you talking about?
I mean, I'm talking about how you came in with four different topics to choose from.
I started Love Island.
You could have gone Kanye, and you went with leaking.
Yeah, we went leaking.
You matched that leak button.
She leaking.
Love Island UK, season seven, I've started it.
Are you watching on Hulu?
Yes.
Well, have fun being behind.
Yeah, by like two weeks, you lose her.
Okay, okay.
The real takeaway here is that I've started the show.
That is true.
That is true.
Who's your favorite right now?
It's too early to tell.
You can't ask that question before your weekend.
It doesn't make sense.
Yeah, that's true.
Liberty, I kind of love that her accent is – I can't understand a word she's saying.
Can you understand Brad?
They're on the same level of –
I don't have a clue what Brad's saying.
Brad is speaking gibberish constantly.
I was watching with Bae, and we got like three minutes in.
I was like, should we do subtitles?
She's like, I think we just have to at this point.
I do subtitles on a lot of British shows.
Not on Love Island, because I will say,
the amount of Love Island I've watched at this point,
I am starting to understand their accents a lot better.
I can even place where somebody's from.
That's what Will was saying.
Pretty impressive.
Like, I know exactly what region they're from,
even though I've never been there myself.
It is impressive.
Some would say I'm a Love Island scholar.
Yeah, you know way more than I do,
and I feel like I know a lot, so.
Will tried to start Too Hot to Handle last night based on Barrett's recommendation.
And I was like, we cannot watch another hot 20-something singles show.
I think you have a problem.
Tell me I won't.
People keep being like, y'all would love Below Deck Med.
And I'm like, okay, I would maybe get into that.
But if we watch Too Hot to Handle, then we're just people who only watch people in bikinis boning.
That's it.
That's all we're doing.
I'm addicted to watching people in their 20s find love.
Are they finding love?
Finding lust, if you will.
They're hooking up is what they're doing.
I mean, like.
Not going to apologize for that.
Between that and the challenge, we have too much trashy TV on our plate.
Did you see the new one that's coming out about the surfers?
No. What?
There's a new dating show on the horizon
and it's surfers.
They surf and hook up.
I mean, I don't need to watch every dating show.
It looks pretty lit. Honestly,
one of the things that Will has
given me credit for in the past
is that I don't really like trashy TV.
I have an elevated palette when it comes to TV watching.
But I'm here to say that I think I've turned a corner into just full trash.
Yeah, when we got married, things really hit the fan.
Well, I never really watched, I've never watched, like, The Housewives.
You know, like, I have friends who are, like, super into Bravo.
Yeah.
And I never really got into it.
Maybe a little bit of Housewives of Beverly Hills.
And to be honest, it's not that I'm against it.
I've always felt a little left out because my friends will talk about it.
I'm like, damn.
I've watched a little bit of Real Housewives.
Back in the day, I got kind of dragged into it because I was married and my wife at the time was really into it.
No, my friends will discuss it and I'm like, I have no freaking clue what you're talking about.
I see the acronym for Real Housewives of New York,
RONI, I can't just stop saying RONI in my head.
RONI.
RONI.
RONI.
No, so I successfully,
not that there's a problem with Real Housewives,
it's just it is,
watching that much TV is a time suck,
and now I've just propelled myself
into the Love Island universe,
and I can't get out of it,
and you're right.
When there's 50 episodes and they're an hour long each,
I mean, that's 50 hours of your life you're not getting back.
I know.
I know.
I don't know what I've started.
Some would say it's the only 50 hours of my life
that I actually feel like I'm living.
Touche.
You have a son.
I watch it with him.
He loves the villa, dude.
He's going to grow up with a British accent.
He probably will. I mean, to be honest, we're just trying to... Between the soccer, dude. He's going to grow up with a British accent. He probably will.
I mean, to be honest,
we're just trying to...
Between the soccer
and the Love Island
he's been watching lately,
it's over for him.
And Ted Lasso,
we're really trying
to hammer in the fact
that we want him
to be just vaguely European.
He's going to be a bruv.
Can we get some
programming notes
out of the way?
Sure.
First and foremost,
go follow Circling Back Pod
and Wash Media.
Leave a review in five-star rating.
You guys want to hear a couple of reviews that we've gotten recently?
Yeah, why not?
Someone said, you just don't see content like this.
Firstly, I'd like to be the first to congratulate.
This is from H. Rowe.
Horny Rowe.
Firstly, I'd like to first congratulate the boys on their uncle-dom.
Huge for y'all.
A fair warning to those who choose to listen to this.
This podcast may change you.
I cannot stop saying it hard to say or no one is doing that or I'm just different.
My fridge has no room for food between all my superfood vitamin C filled busy heart seltzer.
I cannot maintain a single iota of maturity when someone utters the word come in any way, shape, or form.
Listen, enjoy, tell a thousand of your closest friends.
Also, check out the Patreon for the most optimized content in the game.
Sadly, after longtime patronage, I had to choose between getting optimized and buying insulin for a while.
Can't wait to get back behind the paywall.
You lads are the best.
Love you.
Bye.
I mean –
That's such a – go ahead.
I will, like, bankroll this guy's Patreon if he's really choosing between that and insulin.
Such a good review. I don't think I could have written one better about really choosing between that and insulin. Such a good review.
I don't think I could have written one better about our own podcast.
Dude, it's the perfect review.
It's incredible.
We also had someone say sleep.
Honestly, this is the podcast I put on when I'm going to sleep, so at least the first 20 minutes is worth it.
The rest probably tracks, but I wouldn't know.
You love to see that.
That's great.
He's not falling asleep.
It might be good.
It's probably good, but he doesn't know.
Doing numbers for us.
Hopefully it just
keeps playing after
the episode's finished
and we just get
numbers stacked.
Do you want to hear
what Hunky Tony 2.0 wrote?
Of course.
He said,
eh, two stars.
Was better than
its prior iteration.
Okay.
Okay, Hunky Tony,
what's your fucking problem?
Yes, he actually gave us.
We'll take your feedback,
Hunky Tony.
Stevo said,
Will's voice doesn't
match his face, but good pod, five actually gave us. We'll take your feedback, Hunky Tony. Stevo said, Will's voice doesn't match his face, but good pod.
Five stars.
Okay.
I feel like your face and your voice are perfectly in sync.
That's because you know me very well.
That's true.
In our final review of the day, it says, my favorite podcast of all time.
I've been consistently listening to these guys since they did podcasts that we don't talk about anymore.
If you're looking for a pod that just talks about everything and it's filled with inside jokes and one-liners,
let me introduce you to my friends Will, Dave, and El Glizadente, a.k.a. Dorn.
The content kings are the best in the game, and this podcast just slaps.
You could also just call me Dylan if you wanted.
No, he called you El Glizadente or Dorn.
Right.
Also, head over to YouTube.com slash Watch Media.
We've got our Cribs video up there just doing absolute numbers.
There might be a live stream NHL-centered tomorrow on the YouTube channel.
Didn't know we were pivoting to NHL stuff in the offseason.
No one's doing that.
Yeah, it's a unique strategy for us to start covering NHL the second the season ends.
But, yeah, this is tight.
Also, Patreon.
We did Bachelorette yesterday with Barrett Dudley of Oysters, Clams, and Cockles fame.
He's just a noted commenter.
Why did he bring so much heat yesterday?
He knows how to comment on popular culture.
He brought the flamethrower to the stew.
It was crazy.
And I don't know if we're doing voicemails tomorrow or if we're doing them Friday with Dave.
There's been a discussion that we would wait until Friday with Dave.
Does he get back Thursday or Friday?
Yeah, I got bad news.
I can't do it Friday.
So we're going to have to do it tomorrow.
So then we do know when we're doing it.
Yeah.
I just realized this.
I'm putting it together in my head.
Very cool.
Who's doing it? Who. I just realized this. I'm putting it together in my head. Very cool. Who's doing...
Who's your guest?
Brett.
Also, backer meetup, Saturday, July 31st at Eisenhower's at 3 p.m.
Flirty casual fits only.
Cannot wait.
Camp collars just everywhere.
You're not wearing a camp collar.
If you walk into that fucking meetup and you're wearing a camp collar, I'm going to be very
upset with you.
What are you going to do, dog?
I'm going to be upset.
I'm going to rip the collar off your shirt. We'll see about that. You're going to look like an idiot. Please don't do that. Are you wearing your camp collar. You can't tell me what to do. I'm going to be very upset with you. What are you going to do, dog? I'm going to be upset. I'm going to rip the collar off your shirt.
We'll see about that.
You're going to look like an idiot.
Please don't do that.
Are you wearing your camp collar shirt?
Duh.
Doy.
Duh.
Am I invited?
You're invited to the meetup.
Everyone's invited.
Are you kidding?
I'm going to be at a baby shower earlier, but I'll just come straight from the baby shower.
Bay's going to stop by.
Straight to meetup.
Bay is going to stop by.
We've got to figure out what to do with Fritz, I guess.
Are you not listening to me?
You've said it multiple times.
I heard you.
Bae is going to be there.
No one cares, dude.
Just kidding.
I really hope she doesn't listen to this.
She doesn't.
She does.
She does listen.
She told me she doesn't care.
She got optimized recently.
Oh, that's big.
Can you believe that?
You logged her in using our account, didn't you?
No.
Dude, check the records, dog.
Whatever.
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And for parents, Headspace even has morning meditations that you can do with your kids.
So you aware of that, Sally?
I was not aware of that.
I love Headspace.
Really? I was a user of that. I love Headspace.
Really?
I was a user of Headspace before they were a sponsor.
I was a beginner, knew nothing about it.
They got me in the game, made it very simple, and it works.
How soothing is that guy's voice?
Oh, my gosh.
He kills it.
It's like butter.
Every time I turn one on, I also was a user of Headspace.
I didn't even actually realize y'all were sponsored by Headspace until just now.
Thanks for listening to the podcast. Yeah, maybe you should listen to more podcasts. What's your problem? Because we wrap Headspace. I didn't even actually realize y'all were sponsored by Headspace until just now. Thanks for listening to my podcast.
Yeah, maybe you should listen to more podcasts because we wrap Headspace all the time.
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Yeah, shut your brain off, man.
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I get meditations off all the time.
Everyone knows that about me.
I'm a meditative guy.
We do know that about you, yeah.
I always used to think that you had to do like a 30-minute extended meditation thing
in order to get any benefits out of it.
No, you can just do the three-minute SOS things,
and I have actual meditative instructors.
I don't know what you call them.
Leaders?
Instructors?
I had an instructor once tell me that's all you need.
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So Dave's still on Cabeza Watch in Mexico.
I'm going to be the first to wish him a happy birthday, by the way.
The first.
Today's Dave's birthday?
Today's Dave's birthday.
Randy's, a lot of people don't know, is April 9th.
Don't care.
Just flat out don't care.
No, he's back like Jordan wearing the 4'5".
I did actually DM Melissa yesterday. She posted something. I said, how's the like Jordan. We're in the 4-5. I did actually DM Melissa yesterday.
She posted something.
I said, how's the spinach salad, though?
Oh, we're about to talk about the spinach salad. You brought up a sore subject.
What did she say?
Hold on.
I'll check the DM.
She did rep it, though.
Well.
She didn't post about it.
Hold on.
Let me find what she said.
Dylan, you have to get a gram off today that does bigger numbers than Dave.
You are required. I said,
how was the spinach salad though? And she said,
I mean, comma, pretty tasty.
This was on Monday.
That doesn't seem that sold on it. Did you overrate
the spinach salad? I wanted a more emphatic
response from her for sure.
It sounds like she liked
the spinach salad. She said,
I mean, like, pretty good.
No, she said pretty tasty.
Tasty is better than good.
Yeah, but if someone, if you ask me in person, hey, Will, how's that salad?
And I was like, it was pretty tasty.
It's God tier spinach salad.
It really is.
No, but she's saying like this, I mean, pretty tasty.
I mean, pretty tasty.
There's a difference between.
That's how I read it.
I mean, pretty tasty. I mean, pretty tasty. So we don I read it. Pretty tasty. I mean, pretty tasty. So we don't
know the inflection because it was in a DM. She didn't go, nah, I mean, pretty tasty. We need a
voice memo for a second. Yeah. So Dave's in Cabo right now. Do you need to expose him for some
reason? You know, yeah. And actually it's, it's kind of about the spinach, not kind of, it's kind of about the spinach salad. Not kind of. It's about the spinach salad. So when I was there in March, I stayed at the same resort that he and his lovely wife were currently staying at, Nobu in Cabo.
And while I was there, I ate at the Nobu restaurant on two different occasions.
Wow.
Must be nice, dude.
On both occasions, I got the spinach salad
and I got the,
I forgot what kind of steak it is,
but it has truffle on it.
Had it both times.
Incredible.
I came back here
talking about how good they were.
What are you looking at?
I thought Sally was like
doing something on her phone.
I was going to scold her for it.
I actually was looking up
the weather in Cabo
while you were talking. Inappropriate to be on her phone. I was going to scold her for it. I actually was looking up the weather in Cabo while you were talking.
It's inappropriate to be on your phone while recording.
Okay.
So I was telling you guys about how good the spinach salad was.
I even came back here and talked about it on this podcast about how good the spinach salad was.
So much, in fact, that you guys were just relentlessly making fun of me about it.
Like, oh, it's spinach salad. What's the big deal? It's spinach salad was. So much, in fact, that you guys were just relentlessly making fun of me about it. Like, oh, it's spinach salad.
What's the big deal?
It's spinach salad, right?
Yeah, correct.
Yeah, I still don't understand how it can be that good.
Dave was here.
Spinach salad.
Dave was in that seat right there as I was talking about how good the spinach salad was.
So he knew going in.
He even talked about how he was going to try it while he was there, right?
Okay.
Anyway, let's fast forward to Monday, as in two days ago.
Monday night.
Ooh, Monday night.
Was it Monday night?
Yeah.
I was with Bae.
That's actually when Alyssa told me, she said,
I mean, pretty tasty about the spinach salad.
Okay.
I'm with Bae, right?
And it's around dinner time or evening. Just the way I am. Okay. I'm with Bae, right? And it's around dinner time.
Or evening.
It's almost dinner time.
Probably watching Love Island.
And she gets a text from one Alyssa Ruff.
Okay?
She said, hey, we're about to go to Nobu.
Do you have any recommendations?
Which is weird because I told you everything you needed to know back in March i told them everything i said you got to get the spinach salad is dope
and i talked about the steak so uh the second night that my second trip to nobu i took bay
we had a restaurant to the restaurant okay and um we had what i we had what
what they had the salad you had the life-changing salad.
And so Alyssa texted Bae on Monday and said,
hey, do you have any recommendations?
And Brittany responded.
She goes, yes, the spinach salad and the truffle steak are both amazing.
Did she say they were goaded?
She didn't say goaded, but the implication was there that they were goaded.
Makes sense.
She even did the drool face emoji, like, you're going to freak.
It's so good.
A couple hours go by.
Alyssa responds and says, oh, my God, amazing recommendations.
I'm sitting here thinking, so Dylan's just going to get no credit for all this?
You got none.
You got credit cocked by-
I made it all happen.
Not a peep from Dave.
Dave just quieted out the whole thing. And yesterday
I'm like, oh Dave, how was the spinach
salad last night, dog? And he goes,
oh, I did have the spinach salad. I said, yeah.
I know. And he didn't say
anything back. Is Dave low-key disrespecting you?
You know, he's just being really rude.
Wow, sounds like your spinach salad is
now a sad salad. I feel like they did that on purpose
just to piss you off, to be honest.
Alyssa wouldn't do that.
But also,
I'm going to defend Alyssa here.
First of all,
she might have used this
opportunity to be like, you know what?
I'm going to get a little close with Bay.
I'm going to strike up a convo
about the spinach salad,
maybe, like, further our friendship, you know.
Now, you can't bond over salads, though.
Girls can.
No, Dave and Dylan, like, had already done that.
Like, our bond is so strong, and it's a lot of it because of the salad, you know.
Okay, but, like, maybe Alyssa wanted to, like, strengthen her bond with Bay.
Honestly, she probably did it to be, like.
Maybe you should get your logic Out of this studio
Maybe like
Maybe she's like
You know what
I'm gonna throw
Bay a bone here
And just see what
See what she says about the salad
Just hype her up
For a second
You
You wanna make Bay feel good
Yeah
I mean
There might be something
Why are you trying to steal
Bay's thunder now
No
I want
I want Bay to have
All the thunder
Maybe she's trying to be Friends with Bay You're taking away From Bay's party I want Bay to have all the thunder now maybe she's trying to be friends
from bay's party i want bay to have all the thunder that's not the point this is like i'm
gonna i don't hang out bay enough we're gonna like i'm gonna slide into her dms about the salad and
then we're gonna connect so that the meetup we have something to talk about you know what i'm
saying that's how girls do friendship i mean also though, I will say this while you were saying this about Alyssa texting versus Dave,
they might've already known about the spinach salad,
but also girls,
she wanted confirmation.
She wanted confirmation.
And she also probably wanted to be like,
you know,
girls can be weird about certain foods and stuff.
So she didn't want to be like,
she,
I think she was probably trying to gauge where Bay was on like like the steak and stuff because sometimes girls are weird about meat things like
that so she was probably like is that worth it or should i get sushi or like what where what was
your thought process next thing we know she's gonna be texting bae like asking like what kind of
like bund meat to get next to the pool she's gonna be like hey like so how long do you put
your steak in the microwave for? Or like,
what type of pre-workout you should use.
Yeah, what type of
insane apeshit cuts
should I use?
No, then I would fly to Cabo
and Alyssa would hear from me.
That would not be okay.
I really hope that Alyssa
texts Bae about apeshit.
You can tell me
whether or not
this is fair or foul.
That's a baseball reference
for those keeping track
at home of the sports that I do.
I have a football tattooed on my arm.
There are some people out there that are trying to make this into, I don't know,
like a Dave versus Dylan Cabo battle.
Who out Cabo'd who?
Right.
I don't know who those people are that are trying to make that narrative into a thing.
But there are people talking about that Dave's Instagram yesterday, it did about 2,900 likes.
And then there are also people bringing up that your Instagram from Cabo in March has done about 3,900 likes.
I mean, I don't want to say it, but yeah, I do.
His post was kind of mid.
No, I don't think it was mid.
It was kind of mid.
I think everyone that's listening right now needs to go and surge on Dave's Instagram and just get him up to Dylan status.
Why would you do that?
Because I want you guys to fight over Cabo for the rest of my life.
Hey, while you're on Instagram, go over to Will's page and unlike the one he just posted holding frets.
What?
Why would you do that to my son?
That seems unnecessary.
What's your problem?
His post is fine. It's just fine. Dude, I think your problem? His post is fine.
I mean, it's just fine.
Dude, I think it's mid-tier goaded.
Stop.
Can you be mid-tier and goaded?
You should stop after the first syllable of that.
It's just mid.
Don't call it mid, dude.
It is.
It's fine.
Do you even know what mid means?
Like, it's fine.
What does sus mean?
Suspect.
I don't understand why you're not in the Cabo conversation.
I don't understand why you're not in the Cabo conversation.
Because I didn't stay at the Nobu Hotel like these two.
I know, but we go to Cabo all the time.
I stay with your family at your house.
No.
People are forgetting I did montage in the same trip.
It's not a big deal.
I just did it.
Dave should do a video review of him eating the Wagyu Glizzy poolside and really just drop the hammer down on you.
I thought the Wagyu Glizzy was at montage. No. Where was the Wagyu Glizzy poolside and really just drop the hammer down on you. I thought the Wagyu Glizzy was at Montage.
No.
Where was the Wagyu Glizzy?
It was at Nobu.
Dude, see, if he doesn't do Wagyu Glizzy content today, it's going to be an upsetting day for everybody.
That's just on a T for him.
If he doesn't knock that out of the park, then I will lose respect for him social media-wise.
He absolutely has to.
Do you remember what your dad was obsessed with the Wagyu glizzies that we had at the cottage?
Yeah.
We had Wagyu glizzies at our friend's cottage in Michigan.
Wow.
That's swag.
And Will's dad could not wrap his mind around the fact
that the five hot dog package cost $14.
He was like, the hot dogs cost $14.
It ruined him.
It ruined him.
He couldn't get around it. That seems like a fair price. He was him. It ruined him. He couldn't get around it.
That seems like a fair price.
He was upset.
That seems fair.
He couldn't get over it.
It was a real tough situation.
I think his brain exploded.
He was so distraught he couldn't enjoy the food.
I can't do it.
I can't even enjoy this hot dog.
This thing is too expensive.
Every bite is like 28 cents.
I can't do this.
He wants to go to a local baseball game and get one for like $1.50.
He wants a jumbo dog.
Correct.
He wants to unwrap that thing from the foil and have just the bun absolutely glued to the hot dog.
That's always the best.
When you're out in public and you get one of those.
Ballpark hot dogs are awesome. You've got to think the Nobu Waguglizzy probably cost $14.
It's incredible.
Oh, the one Waguglizzy from Nobu definitely cost more than the five cost in northern Michigan.
Correct.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, I'm not worried about that.
It was so good.
I'll say this.
If Dave does some Wagyu Glizzy content today, I will be in on Dave's trip versus your trip.
Okay.
But if he doesn't do that kind of content, then I think we're going to have to start asking the question of who's out Cabo and who here.
Part of the reason that I was silent earlier is because I was looking at the weather in
Cabo right now, which seems to be the same temperature as Texas.
It's like 88, 90 there.
All I remember about going to Cabo in July, this was probably five or six years ago, right
around the same time.
You and I had just started dating.
It was the hottest I've ever been in my entire life.
We were melting.
We went to Floral Farms and they kept bringing us cool towels.
And I mean, I'm not kidding.
My friend had at one point like four around her neck because we were all roasting.
It was so hot.
That does not sound pleasant.
I don't know what restaurant to bring you cool towels if you're sweating.
This would be good for me.
I mean, it did not help that we were all hungover.
But I think too because Flora Farms isn't by the ocean.
So it was like it seemed even hotter because
you don't have the ocean breeze
going on. Am I going to bring a giant towel to the meetup
and just have it around my neck the entire time?
That'd be kind of swag. Oh, it's going to be
a hot one. Like a Gatorade towel or something?
I want to look like an NBA
bench player. We're going at the hottest time of year
at the hottest time of day.
No one's doing that. Yeah, you don't see that.
It's just to make sure everyone dresses flirty.
That's true.
There needs to be a severe lack of fabric on people's bodies.
Absolutely.
Flirty or slutty?
Flirty.
Flirty.
What are you doing?
What are you trying to do?
We don't slut shame.
Okay.
We're all about flirty.
Anyway, yeah, I threw Dave a pity like yesterday.
Not a big deal.
I was just being nice.
It was an okay post.
If he wasn't my boy, I probably would have Dave a pity like yesterday. Not a big deal. I was just being nice. It was an okay post. He wasn't my boy.
I probably would have just kept scrolling, honestly.
Who's the dude he was spending his whole day with golfing?
I think it was his four caddy.
I like that Dave was tagging him, though.
He was like.
Getting his numbers up.
I was like this guy.
Dave didn't follow him, but he was tagging him.
He's got a bromance with this dude.
He doesn't follow him, but he was tagging him.
Yeah, Dave's got to follow this man. Yeah, you've got to follow him. He's got a bromance with this dude. He doesn't follow him, but he was tagging him? Yeah, Dave's got to follow this man.
Yeah, you've got to follow him.
I love the idea of him asking his 4K, who he just
met, to take pics of him on the course.
No, the most ridiculous thing isn't him
asking him to take pics of him on the course. It's him
asking his at.
That's so funny. He's like, hey, dude, what's your at?
Dude, his clout is soaring right now.
Yeah, he's the clout god. He went back to the crib last night. I mean, I did click on. It's like, hey, dude, what's your ad? Dude, his clout is soaring right now. Yeah, he's the clout god.
He went back to the crib last night.
I mean, I did click on that guy's profile to be like, who is this dude?
I did too.
Everyone did.
Hell yeah.
If he had a business account, you can see how many people clicked through yesterday.
It was probably crazy.
Stupid numbers.
If he does some Wagyu content today, glizz, that is.
It's on.
It's over for me.
I get it.
But right now, I'm still in the lead.
Look, I just did one post from Cabo, but I went off on my stories.
Did you?
Some would say you went too far on the stories.
I know.
I know.
We were drunk posting.
I could tell as the days were going on.
I was like, they're hammered right now.
Because you would start with one post in the morning, maybe of the ocean.
Just like a casual, I'm on vacation.
And then around 5 o'clock, I was like, oh, here comes the tequila.
Yeah.
She did a post of us kissing in the pool like, okay, this is going to get people talking.
Oh, it got people talking.
Dylan and Bae got hammered and then just started like just all you choose.
My mom texted me being like, ooh, does Dylan have a new squeeze?
Yeah, really?
The mezcal margs, marks were ripping that day.
They do be hitting sometimes.
They do be.
Oh, yeah.
The pool makeout thing was so aggressive.
You know what else be hitting sometimes?
What's that?
Bird dogs.
Arf, arf.
It's peak summer, baby, which means bird dog shorts are back.
Bird dogs are the best and most comfortable shorts that have ever existed.
They have super soft built-in underwear.
They're perfect doing literally anything.
Beach, golf, brunch, pool.
They are the short shorts of the summer.
You know we stay strapped to those bird dogs.
I know you do.
Are you sick of all the bird dogs that I have in our closet?
No, because honestly, you wear them on a rotation,
then we just do laundry so you don't ever have to pee without them.
I love my bird dogs, man.
I've been saying that they're my favorite stores to work out in.
Are they goaded for working out?
They are.
That liner is so dope, so comfortable.
And guess what?
I can also swim in them.
I think I enjoy swimming in them the most if I had to nail down one activity.
People forget about the time that I hiked in my bird dogs down to the creek by my house,
went for a little dip, and hiked back.
How do you not say you didn't go for a dip in the creek?
A dip in the creek?
I like that more.
I'm not saying that.
I feel like you wore yours a lot in Michigan because you were in and out of the lake, hanging
out all the time.
Well, they have pockets so you can sneak them onto the golf course every once in a while.
They're mad comfy.
Dude, mad.
Stupid comfy.
Mad comfy.
Stupid company. Aren't they your happy hour pants? They're your a while. They're mad comfy. Dude, mad, stupid comfy. Mad comfy. Stupid company.
Aren't they your happy hour pants?
They're your everything pants.
They're my happy hour pants.
They're my golf pants.
They're my TV pants.
Dude, people all know Bird Dogs is like the shorts company, but like my favorite product,
no cap, I'm absolutely not capping right now.
Is this the pants?
It's the pants.
I absolutely love the pants.
He loves the pants.
Yeah.
They're kind of got to you.
I get excited when I get to golf in the pants because they're so comfortable and they look so good.
They're not mid.
I actually took a competitor's pair of pants that did not fit as well and do not have a liner,
and I took them to the tailor and said, please tailor them like these bird dogs pants.
And guess what?
Holy shit.
They did.
They did.
But the bird dogs pants are still way freaking nicer.
Yeah, they're kind of goaded.
The other ones are mid. Right. The Dogs pants are still way freaking nicer. Yeah, they're kind of goaded. The other ones are mid.
Right.
The Bird Dogs are straight gas.
Bird Dogs even stole Lululemon's designer and is doing it better.
And Bird Dogs new summer styles are all out there on their website.
Bird Dogs is back with one of their famous giveaways.
Remember the Nunchucks?
Yeah, you remember the Nunchucks.
Well, now go to birddogs.com and enter promo code STEAM
and they'll throw in a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football.
Remember those Nerf Vortex Howler footballs that whistle when you throw them?
Yeah.
They're the must-have beach toy of the summer.
After we record them, go out to the park lot and tell us across the street.
I can't do it because I have a football literally taken out of my arm right now,
so I can't do that.
Try it right-handed.
I will go to birddogs.com, promo code STEAM,
and boom, a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football
with your pair of Bird Dogs.
Just whistling.
You will not take these things off, I promise you.
We've got two different news stories today about animals.
Do you want me to give you guys a little
choose-your-own-adventure?
Sure.
Are you sure?
Can't wait for this.
Well, what's the other option?
Okay, the first one, a Russian couple.
No, let's go with this.
Hiding from a bear or scary, weird-ass Texas bugs?
Ooh, I do not want to hear about scary, weird-ass Texas bugs
because then I'm going to have a panic attack probably.
How big are these bugs?
Are they like murder hornet? Because I saw someone.
Are they like murder hornet big?
I saw someone compare them to a lobster.
We're going bugs because you guys want these.
No, I don't.
I kind of want the bug action.
Have you guys ever heard of a vinegaroon?
It's not a macaroon made with vinegar.
That would taste like shit.
Randy, can you toss this thing up on the screen for me?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
They're weird. Big Ben National Park Summer rains bring
Vinegaroons out of their burrows
In search of food and love
They're only about three inches long
And relatively benign unless you happen to annoy them
They can pinch with their heavy mouth parts
Heavy mouth parts?
That sounds sexual
Oh, they're so gross
And they can shoot
A well in spray
Of 85%
Acidic acid
Or vinegar
From the base
Of their whip
To protect themselves
That's so gross
Watch me whip
Is it venomous
Watch me spray spray
What are you doing dog
Watch me whip
Watch me spray spray
Okay I I'm upset.
Dude, these bugs stink.
I mean, have you ever encountered...
The one thing that I'm scared of going outside, like going out in the wilderness in Texas
is like just the weird bugs and snakes and things like that.
I would say the thing you should be most afraid of right now is rattlesnakes having a moment in Texas.
Why?
I don't know didn't you ever
run with a water moccasin the other day i did shut up yeah facts facts we i was in wimberley
this last weekend and um i brought rosie with me instead of the kid and i we were the kid
my child my friends my friend's mom's house is on the river in wimberley so they're like wow it must be nice
yeah it is fucking nice okay keep going uh at the end they're like on a part of the river where
there's like a little dam and so then like we sit right in front of the dam you can kind of just
chill there but then like after the little dam is it's really shallow so we let the dogs run around there they wouldn't have to be like swimming the whole time and we took those like polaris you know like trucks down you know
what i'm talking about like atv atv is what i meant to say uh down to the river with all the
like the rafts and a cooler and whatever and i walked down with rosie and all of a sudden I hear her stepdad be like, whoa, stop.
And literally we were like stepping into the water.
He's like, there's a water moccasin.
And I was like, oh, no.
He got out his gun and just shot it.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, literally Rosie was about to step on it.
And Rosie's an idiot.
So like she would have tried to definitely eat it.
And apparently they're really mean. Like they're really feisty. They're very territorial. They can be aggressive. Rosie's an idiot. So, like, she would have tried to definitely eat it.
And apparently they're really mean.
Like, they're really feisty. They're very territorial.
They can be aggressive.
Yeah.
So then I was, like, freaking out the whole time.
But apparently where they are on the river, it's like if you're in the brush on the side of the river,
that's, like, more of an issue than, like, being in the middle of the river where, like, they don't, like, go as much.
But it was gross.
Snakes are creepy enough as it is,
but when they are able to swim at the same time,
it's like, get out of here.
My parents have found a bunch of rattlesnakes, though.
You thought they were shoes?
Don't they fly?
You like that shoe that flew at George Bush's head
during that press conference?
I don't think that's how that works, no.
Oh, so they're snakes.
Dude, what are these snakes' problems, man?
Just go away.
Get these mother-freaking snakes out of this mother-freaking river.
There's big boys, too.
Somebody was like, well, snakes are more afraid of you.
And then I was like, no, no, no.
Water moccasins are not more afraid of you.
They would be kind of assholes.
Yeah, it's kind of bad boys.
I might try to get in with the water moccasin community.
What are you talking about?
It sounds like they'd be a good place for people to squad up with.
They're not going to welcome you into their community.
Why?
They're literally snakes.
What if I dress like one and go down to the river and swim around for a bit and try to, like, you know.
Do you still have that lobster costume?
No, I returned it.
Damn.
I mean, the lobster costume looks more like this vinegar-oo thing.
I was going to say the lobster community would welcome you with open arms.
Dude, the lobster community loves me.
I can't.
Randy, take this thing off the screen.
It's giving me the chills.
I don't like it.
I kind of want to throw this thing in a boiling pot and just eat it.
I don't think so.
It looks like a...
No, aren't you a bigger fan of eating soft-shell crabs raw?
Dude, what is going on there?
That video was absolutely disgusting.
I can't even watch that.
Is that a soft-shell crab?
Yeah, that's what she was eating, a soft-shell crab. You can't eat them like that. That video was absolutely disgusting. I can't even watch that. Is that a soft-shell crab? Yeah, that's what she was eating,
a soft-shell crab.
You can't eat them like that.
Those shells are not soft.
Well, they're soft enough
that you can chew them.
She was eating it alive?
It sounded like she was biting
through like a pecan shell.
Dylan, if you've ever,
have you ever had a soft-shell crab roll
at like a restaurant?
I've had soft-shell crab, yeah.
You're eating the shell,
the outer shell.
No, I understand that,
but I didn't know that
in its uncooked form it was like crunchy like that. I think it's still crunchy, yeah. You're eating the shell, the outer shell. No, I understand that. But I didn't know that in its uncooked form it was crunchy like that.
I think it's still crunchy, yeah.
Okay.
I thought it was like a slimy, weird crab.
I just thought it had a soft shell.
It does.
I used to work at a restaurant that did sushi on Friday nights.
That did not sound soft.
So one Friday they sent it up.
It's more like an M&M wrapping.
You know, like a thin, crispy layer of chocolate.
An M&M wrapping.
That's a confusing statement given the name of the wrapper.
If y'all don't know what we're talking about,
I quote tweeted a video of this woman eating soft shell crab raw.
She just put seasoning on it and started crunching away on it.
A thin chocolate coating is what the soft shell is like.
Just enough crispy to protect it.
Hey, what's that lady's problem, though?
She's hungry, dude.
She's trying to go viral.
Cook it.
Cook the crab.
Nasty.
She nasty.
Did you guys hear about this Russian couple that says that they spent 10 days in a tree
eluding a bear?
What'd they eat, dog?
I don't know.
It sounds like they ate soft-shelled crab.
It says a Russian couple claims they spent 10 days
hiding in trees without food, so they
didn't eat anything, dumbass. Well, fasting.
To escape a bear that was stalking
them, Anton and Niga Bogdanov
said their vehicle got stuck in a deep puddle
in a remote part of the Kamchatka region.
You guys familiar with Kamchatka? No, where is that?
I've only had their vodka.
It's about $6 a
fifth. Kamchatka?
Kamchatka.
I've never
had that vodka. That's disgusting.
It's 11 miles from a hot spring they were visiting, according to The Sun.
The couple told the outlet they decided to walk
to the springs to get phone signal and call for help
when they realized they were being followed by a brown bear.
I'm sorry, but okay.
Ten days seems ridiculous.
The bear definitely left, and they could have just gone back to their car, right?
After two hours, I'm like, I'm ready to go.
Aren't you ready to throw your wife down to the bear and just be like, all right, I kind of want to leave.
I'll take my chances after 12 hours.
There's no way this bear just sat there for 10 days just staring at them like
like they weren't right chicken these people are weak how patient is this bear he's like yeah y'all
gotta come down sometime i got days no i mean he might be smart he's just move on to something else
i'm out of there that bear do bears don't have a 10-day attention span down there like prey
do they have water with them like how them? How did they survive in this tree?
You need water, man.
I don't know.
This is why I don't camp.
Just in case a bear chases you up a tree for 12 days?
Or that creepy bug thing.
10 days?
I'm an indoor girl, you know?
You're indoorsy.
I'm indoorsy.
Did you buy that TSM shirt that said indoorsy
no
you should have
that was a great
thing probably went viral
no I tried to
buy the Sunday Scaries
TSM shirt
so
okay
that's not funny
that's not a funny joke
are we laughing about that
do we need to edit that
out of the podcast
are we laughing
just kidding
I actually don't really care
because I'm sure
they sold about 10 of those
I I'm not 10
days doing anything with like in the wilderness with you sounds miserable no offense i never want
to go to the wilderness with you can you imagine sitting in a tree for 10 straight days with me
as i complain about like the football out of my arm the sniffles that i have the bear that's trying
to eat us. They spent...
They were in two different trees.
You see this part?
This is soft.
After two or three days, the bear walked away.
So they climbed down real fast
and started to run.
They found a river.
Then the bear circled back.
Leo Giff circled back.
And they had to find another tree to go up in.
I'm not even confident that I could climb a tree that well.
Imagine doing it after three days of not eating.
You have no energy.
You don't think you could if a bear's after you wouldn't be able to climb a tree?
I mean, so I'm trying to think right now.
The only thing I've done for 10 days that can equate to this is when I did the master
cleanse my freshman year of college. So think that that hiding from a bear in the
wilderness is the same as doing a master cleanse when you're 20 just say i'm just saying that
i am saying the lack of food and i remember how tired i was i would lose my will to live after a
few days i think, you know what?
The bear won.
But, like, do you really want to go out being eaten by a bear?
Like, that sounds not great.
No.
I don't.
I don't think that that's going to be, like, quick.
I just feel like that would be a pretty unpleasant way to go.
Yeah.
Like eating alive by a bear.
You know what I'm saying, Will?
I could do it.
I would eat that bear alive. Yeah, but you're just Bill Deferent.
True.
That bear would be like,
wait, his arms are too tiny for me to eat.
I'm not worried about it.
There's no meat on those bones.
There's a chunk already missing out of one of them.
Someone's already nibbled on it.
My boy must have already tried that
and said it was mid.
He's like, I'm out.
That's so stupid.
That's so stupid.
Even Randy's laughing at that.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
Well, good for them.
They survived.
They got a hell of a story out of it.
That's all we got for Animal News.
I love Animal News.
Dylan, can you sound the horn real quick?
Wah, wah, wah.
Oh, yeah.
New sponsor alert?
Yeah.
New sponsor.
We have a new sponsor alert.
Dylan, you've been, in the past, you've been a critic of my stomach.
Yeah, you got a bitch-ass tummy.
I've always said that.
Don't call it that, dude.
My tummy's goaded.
That's what it is.
Your tummy is woaded.
It's not goaded.
It's not goaded.
I get nauseous all the time.
Your tummy is very mid.
I had to, like, Sally was nauseous for about nine straight months when she was pregnant.
Is that correct?
Yes.
Just straight up nauseous. You know what you wish you probably could have had?
A relief band.
Yeah, anything that would have helped, honestly.
Relief band is the number one FDA-cleared anti-nausea wristband
that has been clinically proven to quickly relieve
and effectively prevent nausea and vomiting associated with motion sickness,
anxiety, migraines, hangovers, morning sickness, chemotherapy, and so much more.
Think about that.
You ever been emotion sick before?
Yeah.
Have you ever been annoyed with Brett for not getting this as a sponsor before you were
pregnant?
Because I have.
That didn't come to my mind, actually.
No.
I'm just fuming over here.
Right.
Sorry.
You could have used a relief band.
Yeah.
I could have.
These babies work, Sal.
I know.
Okay.
If there's one thing that I'm down to try numerous times over in order to get it fixed,
it's any hangover cure.
When I heard that relief band could help me with that, I was immediately all in.
It's like this product was tailor-made for you and your bitch-ass tummy.
Dude, this product is 100% drug-free, non-drowsy, and provides all-natural relief with zero
side effects for as long as needed.
The technology was developed over 20 years ago in hospitals to relieve nausea in patients,
but now through LeafBand, it's now available to the masses.
How does it work, you might ask?
It stimulates a nerve in the wrist that travels to the part of the brain that controls nausea.
Wow.
I couldn't have come up with this.
Someone much smarter than me.
Do you know what that center is called?
Oh, here we go.
The chemoreceptor trigger zone.
There it is.
Wow.
What else you got?
I'm just saying the science is there.
It's real.
What's it called again?
The chemoreceptor trigger zone.
It's CTZ.
CTZ.
Yes.
So you knew that without,
like that's not even on the copy right now.
I'm not even looking at the copy. So you're confirming
this is a thing. Is that on the copy?
No. Okay. No. But I mean
that's the zone. So that makes
sense. It's the only over-the-counter
wearable device that's been used in hospitals
and oncology clinics to treat nausea and
vomiting. And if you know someone who deals with nausea,
relief band makes a great gift.
Car sickness, seasickness.
You ever been seasick before?
Thankfully, I'm built a little bit different, so no.
Are we getting a list of one of these for skiing next time?
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You think the relief band helps with your sniffles?
Your nose is down so bad.
Certified voted right now.
Talk about leaking.
I was going to say, both of y'all are leaking right now.
Dude, I'm leaking hard right now.
Oh, my word.
So TikTok, like Dylan, you're pretty much like the king of TikTok, right?
Not to brag, but I definitely went like super mega viral on TikTok.
Not according to J-Bone. I'm the TikTok guy.
It had to be a million pounds.
Seven figures. Well, now they're doing
something called the Ugly Baby Challenge.
And as a recent mother who stands babies,
I figured Sally would be a good person to speak on
this. The challenge
is essentially just people thinking about how
they're always going to have this like beautiful
child and everything.
They're born, and as it
turns out, newborns aren't as cute as
they are when they're a few
weeks or a couple months old. They can look a little
weird sometimes, yeah. They look a little alien-ish.
They're cute in their little ways, you know?
Some of them, most of them.
So, I had this actual
concern to Will,
for a lot of my pregnancy.
I was like, what if our child's ugly?
What happens?
We obviously still have to love it.
Just not as much as you could have.
Yeah.
What do we do if it comes out with my original nose and just bad eyebrows, weird bone structure?
You had a nose job? Yeah, Dylan. How did I not know that? and just bad eyebrows, weird bone structure.
You've got a nose job?
Yeah, Dylan.
How did I not know that?
You really didn't know that?
I didn't know that.
I feel like I've talked about it on here before.
How long ago?
I want to see a pic.
Not right now, later.
Dude, chill.
Stop asking my wife for pics.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know that.
Six years ago.
Well, you have a great nose.
I've actually had multiple nose jobs Oh very cool
Because I broke my nose
And then I had to have a nose job
Because I had a giant
You got in a street fight
What happened?
No I fell out of a stunt
In cheerleading
In high school
That'll happen
Just face first
Into the ground
On my nose
Dang
And then
The person who did it
Did not do a great job
So I had to go get all the scar tissue fixed
scar tissue that i won't do that no but anyway uh that was a worry of mine turns out fritz is
mega cute and i'm not just saying that like i i get that as his mother like
i love him so much that he could like not be cute and I'd still love him.
But I have had multiple people tell me that he's the prettiest baby they've ever seen.
He's objectively a very cute baby.
No, people are just saying that.
People are just saying that to make you feel good.
No.
Obviously, I think he is, but, like, not everyone can think that our son is possibly, like, the greatest kid of all time, you know?
Randy, hit him with a picture.
If I don't think your baby's cute, I just won't say anything.
Like, oh, yeah, look. Sally sent pics. Randy, hit him with a picture. If I don't think your baby's cute, I just won't say anything. I'm like, oh, yeah.
Sally sent pics. Okay, we're doing this?
There are people out there that seem to think
that our son looks like George W. Bush.
He does, man.
The one on the right is great.
My family thinks that he looks like
George W., so I sent him
the one on the right. He does look
like W. right there, and then the one on the right. He does look like W right there.
And then the one on the left was taken a couple days ago looking like a snack.
I think the one on the right he kind of looks like has like elfin features.
But he's still fucking cute.
The one on the right is an excellent picture.
Like that's great.
Thanks, Randy.
I was worried you didn't even get my text.
You didn't even respond to me when I was sending you pictures of my son.
So that's great.
That's hilarious.
But I can confirm.
Okay, so I actually was in C-sections all day yesterday, which had its own set of challenges
being a new mom because I literally texted Will yesterday at one point and was like,
should we just have another kid right now?
Caesarian is what the C stands for.
Yeah, so I was delivering babies all day.
We have a C-section at Wilmont the C stands for. Yeah, so I was delivering babies all day. We have a C section at Wilmont's.
What happens in there?
Dude, you can only order seafood.
It's only sushi and then, like, boiled lobsters and stuff.
I thought the C meant something else.
No, no.
Dude, gross.
Whoa, whoa.
That's what they call the dance floor.
No, yeah.
It's mainly just you can only order crustaceans or fish in that area.
Very cool.
Yeah, it's more of a seafood tower section, but we shortened it to just C-section.
I get it.
C-A section, yeah.
Thanks for fully explaining.
Yeah, you're welcome.
You're welcome.
Anyway, before I had a child and I was delivering babies, there's a point where you have to
lie to people and be like, he's so cute.
But he's really not that cute.
But honestly, yesterday, every baby that we delivered was so beautiful.
And I don't know if it's my mom hormones or I just love babies now.
But I was getting emotional every time.
But then looking at these TikToks, some of these babies are weird looking.
So you've been in numerous deliveries with parents,
new parents.
Correct.
Do people,
like,
you know when a kid is ugly,
right?
Like,
do you have to fake like saying it's cute in front of the parents?
Or is it easier because you have like a mask on and stuff?
You don't have to worry about it.
You definitely have to fake it sometimes.
But honestly,
like Dylan said,
when they're first born, they're weird looking it sometimes, but honestly, like Dylan said, when they're
first born, they're weird looking.
Especially babies that are born
vaginally.
Because their head is all wonky.
Sally, when Parks came out, I was like,
oh my gosh. Does his head look
like that football? You look like Stewie Griffin.
I was like, my son's head
is deformed, and
I don't know what I'm going to do about this.
But by the end of the day, it was already normal.
C-section babies actually do have that plus that they normally have really round heads, which is great,
unless they get stuck in the birth canal and then you have to do a C-section that way,
and then they have really bad-looking heads because they couldn't even make it through.
So that's how bad, down bad their head is.
make it through so that's how bad sheesh down bad their head is like fritz fritz when fritz was born i was like he like had a purple face like i but these people are talking like a month in their
kids still looks like yeah and they do a lot of them resemble old men for a while like they do
i mean yeah yeah fritz hasitz has Winston Churchill vibes sometimes.
Or George W. Bush.
W and Churchill.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Just depends on the day.
You never know.
Like Bane looked like, Bane's super cute now, but when he was first born, he looked like the actor who's the high school teacher on Clueless.
Like he, like.
I can't picture him.
I don't know his name.
Well, are you looking it up?
Wallace Shawn?
Wallace Shawn.
That's who he looked like. Very cool.
He looked like just an old man.
Oh, yeah.
That guy.
He talks like that.
I can't do his voice,
but he's got that high-pitched voice.
Right.
I mean.
He needs to reverse his name.
He's the blackjack dealer in Vegas Vacation.
Correct.
Yes.
He needs to reverse his name to Sean Wallace.
Wallace Sean.
Yeah, what are you doing?
But babies do look like old men or old women.
Honestly, Fritz looks like him once in a while, too.
Yeah.
It makes sense that they're cousins.
His skin's kind of wrinkly.
But these babies are older, and
some of them have bug eyes and stuff.
You're like, ooh. Yeah.
How do you love that? So you're not going to do a TikTok challenge with our son?
No, Fritz is fucking cute.
I mean, no offense to other
people's babies, but like... He's mega.
Are we going to do the Mary F. Kill
with Rhodes, Fritz, and Bain?
No, we're not doing that.
Come on.
That's on the Cutting Room Floor.
That's a Cutting Room Floor segment.
We can do Go To Water To Promote It.
No, we can't do that.
No, we're not going to do that.
I'm kidding.
We're not going to hit our children against each other.
Your wife just recommended MFK.
Don't look at me.
On Love Island, that would be Snog, marry pie is what they call it.
Snog.
Snog, marry pie.
Pie, you go shove a pie in their face.
Oh.
But also it's like getting pied off.
It's like somebody basically like mugged you off.
Mugged off is another term they use.
That's muggy.
Snog.
Did you not know snog?
Not until I started watching this show.
Snogging, that's making out.
Right.
Grafting.
Shag a derelict baby.
What does grafting mean?
Like flirting.
Oh.
I'm going to go graft.
What do they call sex?
Sex.
Oh.
Although it's really funny.
On different seasons, they'll talk like having sex on the on the show but they don't want to like obviously talk about sex so the one season
they had the doobit society doing bits like just hooking up and so doing bits they would
we do bits all the time they would they would like have a meeting and do the do-bit society
and induct members if you had boned your partner.
Is there sex on the show?
Because they're all in the same room.
Yeah.
Is there sex on the show?
Hello, that's why they pulled the cover up.
Is there sex on the show?
Sheesh.
Horny.
Dylan, they're just having sex.
But that's the other thing.
They'll just have sex midday because they're two horns.
They got to go.
Yeah.
Yeah. I. Yeah.
I get it.
But then there's also the hideaway, which is like a private room that you get to go to.
Oh, okay.
Randomly.
What if I went from Ugly Babies to Love Island Sex?
How do we get here, Sally?
You've got to chill.
You know what it's time for?
No.
Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend.
Let's go.
for? No.
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I don't want to spoil our weekend in fun, but what you and I are doing on Saturday afternoon
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It's alright, man.
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Must be 21 or older.
Dylan, what are you doing this weekend?
By the way, this little, I don't know if it's a CVS
or a Walgreens right down the street right here.
They have both the regular and lemonade flavors
of Vizzy in stock right now. Just saying.
If you guys are so inclined on the way out of here.
Anyway, thanks for asking,
Will.
Not a whole lot on the horizon. You mentioned golf.
We're playing golf Saturday.
It's going to be excruciatingly
hot and humid, so we'll see if I survive it.
It's going to be 93 degrees.
Excruciatingly humid and really hot.
The way that you're prefacing this round of golf is not what I want to hear.
Hey, I'm free Friday.
I am free.
I'm free Friday, and the reason I bring that up is because starting Saturday,
for like a nine-day stretch, I will have parks because his mother will be out of town.
So not that I can't do anything during those days, but it's just easier when I don't have them.
So if you want to squat, that's a great damn idea.
I'll go to Matt's Friday.
No, if we're going to Matt's together, we're going sloppy on Saturday after the round of golf.
I just told you, I'll have parks, you jerk.
Oh, I have parks.
What's this guy's problem, dude?
We have a kid, too.
You can still get sloppy.
Just got to get a babysitter or something.
I don't know.
All right, fine.
If Friday's the day, then Friday's the day.
I'll just put it out there.
I'm going to lobby against Matt's Hell Rancher on Friday.
There's so many other days of the week.
The bar is open, Will.
Don't care. There's going to be
a shit ton of people there. Let's go.
Let's go somewhere else. I don't know why you guys
would want to go to the busiest night
when we have kids to deal with and shit like that. Because I want
to be shoulder to shoulder with someone
who possibly has the Delta variant.
Yeah. I just don't want to deal
with this. We can go early.
You guys have kids.
I mean, it makes... Early early bird special i have to work till
five on friday you guys are just let's go somewhere else man maybe i want to i want to link up i'd
never hang out with you guys outside of this damn studio you know that right you'll never want to
hang out with me oh man i didn't realize that dylan just so you know we invited you to our
sammy's reservation and you didn't come. True.
I couldn't.
Well, you could have canceled your couples retreat trip and come.
You didn't though.
Instead, he went on his couples retreat.
You guys are always with people that
aren't me.
It's upsetting.
Dylan, that's false.
I try to link i like i try
to link up with you in bay multiple times and y'all always cancel on me damn oh that is so not
true what i've ever canceled you just like you're just like we can't if we can't we have that means
we have like actual plans we would never say no to you guys and we're available at the same time
we've invited we invited you out of taco flats had an excellent time
yeah tell me that didn't happen i think i invited you out to Taco Flats I had an excellent time Tell me that didn't happen
I think I invited you to Taco Flats
There's people saying that I invited you to Taco Flats
Bay and I would love to link with you guys
Maybe we can link
Is she available Friday?
I'll find out very shortly
How about that?
Sally, what are you doing this weekend?
Sounds like on Saturday.
Actually, I'm supposed to go to a girls' dinner on Friday, I just realized.
Oh, God.
Here we go.
Dude.
Okay.
Go on, Sally.
Squads and shambles.
Go on, Sally.
But I don't think I'm going.
All I was saying is that this was the weekend that they wanted to have a girls' trip because
Ryan's going to be out of town so Emily wanted to go somewhere
and then no one could figure out where to go
so we just dropped it.
So now they want to go to Lambert's and or
ATX Cosina.
I don't even know what day
it is. No one's talked to me about it.
What about the hombres? What are we supposed to be doing?
Yeah, Sally's had a lot
of just random pop-up
dinners lately
That she gets to go
Must be nice
All these friends
I honestly don't know
What I'm doing
I guess I'm babysitting
Our son
All day Saturday
While y'all are golfing
Probably hit the pool
Sick
Nice
And that's
That's my whole weekend
Sleeping
I don't have anything
Exciting
I truly didn't even
Like realize
I thought the meetup Was this weekend Because I don't know what day is which anymore.
No, the meetup's clearly not this weekend or else we won't be playing golf on Saturday.
Like, what?
What?
I actually am leaking right now, just so you know.
Leaking.
She's leaking.
Leak alert.
Leak alert.
Major leak alert.
This was the first leak.
Your boy had a big weekend planned.
You guys ready for this?
Yeah.
Friday, like, I might be going to Matt's old rancho with some friends.
Like, we'll see.
Yeah, Saturday.
Oh, I know what I'm doing this weekend.
I'm going to start two TV shows this weekend.
Tad Lasso, season two.
Tad?
Tad Lasso.
Is Tad, Ted's younger brother?
Yeah, he's actually, he's teaching lacrosse at a boarding school in New Hampshire.
Okay.
And then we're starting Too Hot to Handle this weekend.
I'm very excited for it.
But as of Saturday, I am golfing with the boys.
Catch us at Lions Municipal Golf Course.
Just going low.
And given the proximity of it to my place,
I think I might go at least three beers per night.
Are you kidding me?
At least three beers per night.
Are you shitting me?
I thought it was a busy season.
It could be a busy season.
At least three alcoholic drinks per night.
Maybe I'll start with Vizzies on the front.
Just saying.
Who knows? It'll be a wild weekend what are we doing on saturday night unfortunately i got a guy's dinner can't go yeah you gotta stay home sorry you gotta start
communicating with each other because like i don't even i think you're just making stuff up
out of nowhere so you can go leave and like like go take a nap in your car or something probably
actually that's not a you're
not wrong if y'all swear if y'all put plants together and don't include me it's it's on friday
i'll see it is on site i'll see if we can get a babysitter okay okay all right guys it's been fun
salgal nation stand up i had a blast sally you brought the heat as per usual. Thanks. I'd like to apologize now to everybody for my nose leakage the entire time
and me being somewhat out of it for this episode.
This is a leaky-ass podcast.
I'm the only one not leaking right now.
It's the leakiest podcast known to man right now.
You could be leaking somewhere we can't see.
We're mad leaky right now.
Sally, come on.
You should have a leaky butt.
Okay.
You don't know.
We got to get out of here.
Bye.