Circling Back - The Hungover Drink Draft & King Nut-A-Lot

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

Did Dave's hangover from our holiday party lead to us doing a Hungover Drink Draft? Maybe. We also introduce a new segment, Today in News, where we covered nuclear fusion, King Nut-A-Lot, and snake pr...ivate parts. And before diving into This Weekend in Fun, we briefly discussed Michael B. Jordan's ownership stake in EPL club Bournemouth.  Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low as $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel — www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:00) Hungover Drink Draft (42:00) Today In News: Fusion, King Nut-A-Lot, and Snake Privates (52:00) Dua Lipa/Jack Harlow (59:30) Michael B. Jordan Joins EPL (1:07:00) This Weekend In Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Rocket Money: www.rocketmoney.com/circling DraftKings: www.draftkings.com/circlingback ($200 in FREE bets INSTANTLY when you place a $5 bet on any game) DraftKings Disclaimers If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/TN/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/KS/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. $150 in Free bets: New customers only. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 pregame moneyline bet. Bet must win. $150 issued as six (6) $25 free bets. Ends 12/31/22 @ 11:59pm ET. Stepped Up SGP: 1 Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Min $1 bet. Max bet limits apply. Min. 3-leg. Each leg min. -300 odds, total bet +100 odds or longer. 10+ leg req. for 100% boost. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See eligibility & terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/footballterms. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, we're back. Circling Back podcast presented by Busy Heart Seltzer, the only heart seltzer out there with with vitamin C from Superfruit Acerola. My name is Will DeFries. To my left, David Roth. Do we think that inflation has hit the dog grooming market? Groomflation you're referring to? Correct.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Sure. I don't want to completely spoil this podcast, but just for full disclosure, my dog has a appointment today. This afternoon, I have to take him to. And I checked the price and it's definitely like $30 more than it was like five months ago for the same procedures. And I'm just like, What kind of procedures are you getting done today? He's getting the D shed treatment. You got to do that when you got a golden. Still, it gets up.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Yeah. And I think it actually makes a difference. But this is probably a better question for them. But I was just like, it's egregiously expensive. And I know everything's more expensive, especially, not especially, especially stuff for dogs in Austin because they know like, oh, these yuppies will pay whatever for their dogs. And that's facts. Yuppie scum. Correct correct of which you are a member yeah yeah i can confirm actually and i
Starting point is 00:01:30 don't want to stunt too hard right now that someone who recently had their dog groomed wow my price has remained the same so there is hope out there david there is hope you take uh rosie to wolfgang i don't know where You take Rosie to Wolfgang? I don't know where I take her, to be honest. Wolfgang Cup? Wolfgang Bakery and Groomer. No, we took her there one time and they shamed us.
Starting point is 00:01:55 See? And so we didn't go back. What did they say? They told us that we needed to stop walking her in the middle of summer on the pavement. At which point we told them that we literally never do that because we have a dog park where she runs and we take her there every day and they they were shaming us for her paw pads and we were like there's really nothing we can do like we have a very straightforward regimen with her and and they they weren't hearing
Starting point is 00:02:22 it they were a little rude to us and so so we decided that that was the last time. It was also, that place is more expensive than it is. So that actually makes sense because you said it's a grooming and bakery. Yeah. They make food in there. Yeah, that place, they've got some other stuff going on. So my place does that too, Dylan, and it's right down the street. And I think that's where they're jacking up the price because they want to fund their little kitchen venture
Starting point is 00:02:45 and they want to upsell you on food. Did they call a Paw Patrol on you? They might have. They might have. Paw Patrol! Sorry. Yeah, if your dog groomer sells individually made dog treats that are individually decorated with dog safe frosting,
Starting point is 00:03:02 your prices are definitely going up. They've been good to us. That's where Stella goes. I want to be one of those people that knows enough to cut their own dog's hair. Yeah, I mean, I've thought to myself, Will, could you figure out how to buzz Rosie? And I've since realized, no, I don't. And they also have double coats.
Starting point is 00:03:19 And so you run the risk of really messing it up and making them feel very uncomfortable. So that is not something I do. Speaking of dirty dogs, Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen. Who? Who? Dirty. That's me, the dirty dog, Dave.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Hey, man. Happy to be here. Podcast week is rolling along swimmingly. What's been your favorite part? Ooh, probably exactly five minutes. I think that was mine, too. Yesterday's episode went i remember looking down and being like man we're probably only like halfway through this episode
Starting point is 00:03:48 and we were 46 minutes in when dave asked me how i would fight a hawk to the death that wasn't me like that was well like what whatever whichever one of you turds said that it was so insulting a hawk you still didn't really give me a good answer all nine pounds of it the hawk waits you out that's the problem yeah the hawk's gonna wait you out you're gonna fall asleep on the ground while he's circling you and suddenly your eyes are packed i know you you're very impatient you couldn't wait what's what's more the most impatient person to watch me physically exerting um standing looking up at a bird or flying through the air for hours on end i'll be fine okay well how many non-cardio calories do you burn if you're
Starting point is 00:04:25 fighting a hawk it would take me i don't know 28 seconds to kill a hawk okay you're assuming the hawk is right there for the getting how many birds have you snatched out of the air before that's the question i have because if he wants to take me out he's got to approach me look we already talked about this when you get into it again if you want to hear the full discussion i just can't believe your additional answer was i would snatch it out of the air and kill it if i'm the hawk i'm just sitting atop the cage and wait for time to run out and what am i gonna starve to death like this how that works we talked i'll be just fine wait it wait me out yes is that what's that even mean i'm gonna fall asleep you really not know
Starting point is 00:05:03 what that means but in a fight to the death? It's going to wait for you to go night-night, and then it's going to towel on your fucking jugular. Yeah, wait for that little fucker to go night-night. Then it's just going to peck you. Just eat your organs. Oh, yeah, like I'm not going to wake up if he's pecking at me? He's going to slop them up.
Starting point is 00:05:16 That bird's toast, man. Once that towel gets into that jugular. Perks could take a hawk. Ooh. You going to test that? I wouldn't test that. I wouldn't test that i wouldn't test that either player you might catch a talent to the ribs or something but he's gonna be fine i don't know i don't want to see parks like getting flown away that'd be a tough that'd be a tough scene for a
Starting point is 00:05:36 dad to watch his son get carried away by a hawk i always tell rose don't get carried away could you beat up tony hawk yeah he's pretty old now. Yeah, he's got a fucked up hip, too. He's old. Yeah, but I feel like he can definitely take pain. He's old and he's wiry, but he's frail. Oh, he's got the reach on you for sure. Oh, he's tall, yeah. But he's taken so many headshots in his life that I feel like he could just eat.
Starting point is 00:06:01 I'm David. Dave's taken a lot of back shots. Really? Mm-hmm. Did you call me Dak? I was going to say back, and then I said Dave, and then it turned into Dak, yeah. Dak Ross?
Starting point is 00:06:14 Who was the play-by-play guy that botched Dak Prescott and called him Dick Prescott? I must have missed that one. Taylor Twelman the other day was trying to say the word seconds, and he could not stop saying the word sex repeatedly. Oh, you could tell he was giggling behind the scenes, but it was just like, dude, you had a lot of trouble getting that out. We've all been there. Y'all think the horny stuff has died down on Twitter. I'm not seeing nearly, this might be post Elon. I'm not seeing nearly as much like people getting called out for being
Starting point is 00:06:40 horny. Yeah. I feel like just the general horniness on Twitter has kind of gone away as of like the last couple of weeks, which is i think elon's suppressing those tweets people are more aware of getting called out for being horny they dial it back a bit there's always someone waiting to drop a meme and just roast them for hey i got a folder man i know you do my favorite current format for someone being horny my favorite meme format is uh the mannequin pointing at the other mannequin something like this the one that's being shamed yeah shout out to the hornies out there hey we got a loaded episode today can i do something we haven't done in a little bit last monday i said to the people out there hey
Starting point is 00:07:19 i want some reviews and guess what reviews we got do you guys mind if i read you a couple of these reviews? I would enjoy that. If you're listening and you're not driving, because we are a hands-free podcast. Everyone knows that. Please go leave a review right now. Just hop on Apple Podcasts and go do it. You can also, if you're on Spotify, just go hit us with those five stars. You can't write down anything on Spotify for a review, but you can give us five stars.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Someone said, listening to this podcast is the frattiest thing about me. That's it. That's the review. I don't know about that. Dylan, is it frattest? Like frattiest or most frat? I've been frattiest. I think I've used frattest in the past.
Starting point is 00:07:58 Because I never used the word fratty. I would just say frat. Like that's frat. I would never say that's fratty. I liked fratty for a small period of time. I'm not anti someone saying fratty. Dude, that's so fratty i would just say frat like that's frat i would never say that's fratty i liked fratty for a small period of time i'm not anti someone saying fratty that's so fratty that's so fratty yeah he's kind of fratty that's so he's kind of fratty long time listener i've been listening since touching base and i moved over to circling back i follow will's podcast as well great group
Starting point is 00:08:20 of guys with a great sense of humor i can relate to them as a fellow Austinite, so always good when they chime in on local stuff. Cheers. Good stuff. That's just a nice review. That's a nice guy. Clearly a guy who's never met us in real life. Thank you, Johnny Bravo. Let's do our fellow Austinites.
Starting point is 00:08:34 Johnny Bravo VIII is his name. Nice to meet you. He said, this is from Dirt Girl. Dirt Girl? Not Dirty Girl. Dirt Girl. Are you saying dirt or dirk dirt i think she just eats dirt it could be pronounced dear tay girl she said i found you when brunch joined wash and
Starting point is 00:08:51 somehow got hooked sent a clip to my boyfriend today i finally reached that level of the relationship and he said quote oh my god people actually listen to that and quote it would drive me to the brink of insanity keep up the good work that's a good review guess you should dump that motherfucker yeah yeah guess what that guy sucks he's probably right it sucks he's got he's got a It would drive me to the brink of insanity. Keep up the good work. That's a good review. Guess you should dump that motherfucker. Yeah, guess what? That guy sucks. He's probably right. He sucks.
Starting point is 00:09:08 He's got a point. Yeah, that's true. Noted reviewer Soulja said, my host power rankings. He said, number one, Dave. Number two, Dylan. Number three, Will. Ooh, I don't know about that.
Starting point is 00:09:21 It feels unnecessary to rank us. I've never seen a review left like that, but a lot of these reviews feel like that. No reasoning. No reasoning. That's just a conclusion. Yeah, he's not taking any feedback at this time. Okay, fair enough.
Starting point is 00:09:34 He muted the tweet. Thanks for the review. Yeah, he did. Someone else, Bojangles04 said, Dylan and Dave show really enjoyed the episode where Will was out sick. Podcast is sneaky goaded without him. Maybe he could vacation in Europe permanently.
Starting point is 00:09:47 Oh, I don't know about that. If y'all want me to, I will. If y'all want me to permanently vacation, I can go do that. That's tough. I think you're an integral part of this operation here. I will not be giving up my equity. But if you do need me to go out
Starting point is 00:10:00 so you guys can get your numbers up for a little bit, let me know and I will go back to Europe. No big deal. That's ice cold. Are there any like that for me or Dave? No. Everyone hates me, which I'm fine with. People tolerate me.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Dave's the real attraction here. Yeah. People call me the polar bear because I'm so polarizing, and I'm vicious. No one calls you the polar bear. Like, literally, not a soul. That would be a good nickname. I just don't know if you have that shout out to everyone who left a review you get you you give beaver we've talked about this you might be like the amy polar bear what the fuck tell me that guy's not a beaver she's she's like kind of funny and but still a lot of people hate her
Starting point is 00:10:45 is that what you're kind of saying about me she's funny no she's funny she's funny when she comes up with her own jokes you just never know when that is oh i enjoyed amy schumer i enjoyed train wreck oh you're thinking of amy poehler is that intentional no no sorry i do do like Amy Poehler. Amy Schumer's... She's the joke thief. Well, yeah. Amy Poehler is very, very funny, but I think... She's a little polarizing. I'm a little worried about Amy Poehler's agent that she has right now, given some of the more
Starting point is 00:11:16 recent works that she's done. Some of her movies have fallen a little flat as of late. But generally, her work overall is exquisite. What was the last movie she did? I saw a movie where she and her girlfriends go to Napa for a wine tasting trip. Is it called Whiny Girls?
Starting point is 00:11:32 I think it was called Wine Trip. Really? And it's not good. It was not a good movie. I started listening to this new podcast. Why can I not talk today? Yeah, you're having trouble. It's called Whiny Girls.
Starting point is 00:11:42 Is it New Teeth? You're tripping over your new teeth. No,'t it man these things are perfect hey don't you have don't you have some big news for us on the merch front oh yeah huge news a little sale we launched last night uh no cap no but really it's a it's a sale for hats oh okay all of our hats are marked down 30 we have six different hats uh one of which is running very low on inventory all of our hats all of our hats all six designs um okay oh wow i didn't know you were doing all hats yeah oh yeah wow but uh two of the two of the hat designs uh a little hint hint one i'm wearing right now very low inventory so you might want to snatch that up as soon as you can but promo code no cap 30 we're cool do i need to spell that out for y'all
Starting point is 00:12:33 no cap 30 washed media dot shop will get you 30 off at checkout on hats and hats only you can of course combine your order with you with a t-shirt and a hoodie or something, but you're only going to get the sale on the hat. 30% off. Promo code NOCAP30. Washmedia.shop. Shout out to our semi-annual We Bought Too Many Hats sale.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Yeah. Facts. Not in these rope hats, though. I'm telling you, they might already be gone. The other hats, though. Yeah. I got an email this morning okay told me something that kind of scared me for a second but then once i realized what was going on i thought to myself huh i'm actually glad that that's there i had an uncategorized transaction dude so i did my due diligence i went in i checked it and i thought wow thank you rocket money for helping me out here.
Starting point is 00:13:26 And guess what? I categorized that transaction, and now I never have to worry about it ever again. What category did it find itself in? Restaurants. Not to brag, but yeah, your boy ate at a restaurant. This guy steps out. If your New Year's goals are to manage your budget better and save money, you need Rocket Money. Say goodbye to last year's outdated, disorganized methods of managing your money and say hello to rocket money the better way to hack
Starting point is 00:13:48 your finances in 2023 i'm not one of those guys that lives in his bank account app just checking his stuff all the time i'm not good at that i don't like doing that must be nice what i do like doing is having rocket money kind of tip me off a little bit and say hey man did you mean for this to happen is this okay that's how rocket Money approaches you. Yeah. Yeah. They're chill about it. Hey man. Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebill, is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Over 80% of people have subscriptions that they forget about. Streaming services, newspaper subscriptions, whatever it could be. You could have just bought some kind of streaming service
Starting point is 00:14:25 because you wanted to watch one single show on it. With that free trial that you started, doy, messed that one up. Now I'm paying for it for the next year. Yeah, they'll quickly and easily identify your subscriptions for you so you can stop paying for the ones that you don't want. And Rocket Money also makes cancelling subscriptions as easy as a click of a button.
Starting point is 00:14:43 That's a great feature, by the way've i've done that so many times i hate saying this because i don't want to like poo poo other sponsors uh rocket money was way easier than i ever anticipated yeah the second i logged in and just i i had to enter like three logins and suddenly i was like oh what they have all the information they need and bada bing b bada boom, I was saving money immediately. If you don't use it, you're basically just giving up money. They're going to find something that you are unaware of.
Starting point is 00:15:13 On average, they save people over $720 a year. Who's not interested in saving that much money? Think of all the washed media hats you could buy with $720 a year. You could rent a kangaroo for your kid's birthday party with that money. You could.
Starting point is 00:15:27 You could. Probably true, Dan. It is. I love Rocket Money. We love Rocket Money. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash circling.
Starting point is 00:15:37 That's rocketmoney.com slash circling. Rocketmoney.com slash circling. It's time. We're draft. It's time. We're draft. It's feeling a little drafty in here. This isn't a DraftKings read. Shout out DraftKings. So what are we doing?
Starting point is 00:15:53 We're doing a little draft. What kind of draft? This has to be inspired. Dave actually brought this one to the table. This has to be inspired by something that happened on Sunday. I was hungover on Sunday, and you guys might have been as well. But I was particularly hungover. And we had our party the evening before, so I was expecting it. I knew what I was getting into. And, um, I had a beverage that may or may not be on my draft board.
Starting point is 00:16:16 So I'm not going to disclose it now. And it was one of those ones where, when I took that first sip, I had like a moment, you know what i'm saying he's listening to doug theme song and um it got me thinking like am i drinking am i drinking a a top tier hungover beverage and if so so, or if not, what are better alternatives? So that's what we're drafting, hungover beverages. Beverages to drink while hungover. While hungover. I'm going to smoke y'all in this one.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Is Callie here early? Sorry. Smoke some. I'm going to smoke on that Dave and Dylan pack. Who's here, Randy? After this one. Yeah, who we got in the stew, Randy? Oh, it's Callie.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Why'd you see her early? Should we bring in our Gen Z correspondent for something at some point today? She's like, I don't get hung over. Yeah, she's like, I don't get hung over. I'll just request that it's not the news segment. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's not allowed in here during the news segment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:18 Randy, write down a number between 1 and 10. And as always, we will each pick a number. Randy hates this part. I'm tired of winning these drafts. Would y'all please just step up? You know, Randy approached me last time we made him do this. And he was like,
Starting point is 00:17:33 Hey, I looked at my, my contract that is not in my job description that I have to write down a number for y'all to get. It's true. It is a bad look to tell someone that it's not your job description, but I do think there's times when that's warranted from some people at their jobs.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Yeah. Not at our job. Cause we kind of an all hands times when that's warranted from some people at their jobs. Yeah. Not at our job, because we're kind of an all-hands-on-deck crew. Like when Dylan made Brett help him move? Yeah. Yeah. I paid him for that. Yeah, Brett absolutely should have been like, oh, Dave, this isn't my job.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I didn't make it. I offered a job to him that he accepted. If you're superior at a company, offers and says that, you kind of feel obligated to do it. I overpaid him, too, by the way. You also shoved him in the back of a trailer. That was very unsafe. I had to.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Brandy, do you have your number written down? All right, I'm going to say 3, 2, 1, and then we all say our number between 1 and 10. Closest one to it gets first, second, third. You know the drill. Brandy, 3, 2, 1, say it. It was four. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Big to freezy. Will, Dave. D-Man. Dylan. Dave's D-Man, actually, unfortunately. I'm the original D-Man. No, no. Unfortunately, dude, you're not.
Starting point is 00:18:39 You're just not, dog. Dylan got mad when I started writing on PGP as D-Man. He's like, well, I'm D-Man. And it was like his high school friends called him that. So then he kept trying to rebrand. Like, no, no, no, I'm not doing D-Man. No, that did not happen. I don't think so, bud.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Did not happen to the record. I took it to market first, my guy. No. That's fucking draft. There's a lot of pressure here for the first pick. There's a lot of things that you the first pick there's a lot of things that you can choose how many rounds are we doing four rounds total my friend as always if you try to do five randy will poo poo you and i'm glad he does because some of these drafts are
Starting point is 00:19:15 difficult with my first selection in this draft i'm going to go with something that is widely loved i'm going to go with something that i never really understood why it was widely loved until I started doing it myself. And, of course, I'm talking about fast food restaurant Sprite. Oh, fountain Sprite. A fountain Sprite. Me, I'm a Popeyes guy when I'm hungover. Other people out there, they're McDonald's people, and they love that McDonald's Sprite. I will say,
Starting point is 00:19:45 the Sprite at Popeyes hits just as hard. I'm going fast food Sprite. Give me all that Shug. Call me Shug Knight. No one's calling you Shug Knight. That's not going to happen. One has to stick.
Starting point is 00:19:57 One nickname has to stick today. Okay, it's a good pick, man. Good pick. Good pick, Will. I didn't think that was going to be my first pick, but there's a lot on the board here that we can go with. I'll go. What's Davey going to roll with?
Starting point is 00:20:12 It's interesting, and we didn't set this parameter. You can have a specific alcohol hair of the dog beverage. You can. You can have that. Yeah. But I'm going to go a little bit of a different direction i'm going to go with the beverage that i had recently and this will probably change but we're going to draft it now so it's not taken in later rounds from anyone else the eight ounce can of coca-cola classic an eight ounce coca-cola served served in a glass not a
Starting point is 00:20:50 plastic cup a glass in exactly four full-size cubes of ice from your ice maker in your fridge okay why eight ounces you're probably thinking why not just go 12? That's what, you know. I wasn't wondering. You're probably thinking that. I mean, I have takes. The reason why is because you're getting less. Eight ounces is less than 12. Why is that important? You're getting less sugar. You want a little bit of a sugar to jumpstart you,
Starting point is 00:21:19 but you don't want all the sugar of a 12-ounce beverage. So you're getting this. It's very poundableable and it hits the spot pairs well with a lot of different things i'm bummed the way that coca-cola is getting taken off the board right now because this is this is not the way i saw it going i'm on record saying that a a fountain coca-cola classic is the best single best beverage on the face of the planet nothing nothing tops a fountain coke what about mexican coke nothing top i didn't stutter okay okay i was just i was clarifying tops a fountain
Starting point is 00:21:53 coke from a fountain machine over some good ice i'm taking your beverage just i want to be transparent right now my pick i'm being transparent right now i'm taking i had mexican coke on my list i'm taking that off because Coke has been done. I don't care. I don't care. I'm out. Coke has been done. With my first pick of the draft, I can't believe this is still there.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I can't believe it. I'm shocked this is still there. It's essential to life. It's readily available. It's water. Oh, shit. Okay. He fucking did it to life. It's readily available. It's water. Oh, shit. Okay. He fucking did it to him.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Water. Prepared how? I like my water chilled with very little ice. When I get down to the bottom of my glass of water, I want the ice to have completely melted, but the water to be perfectly chilled. I don't need ice in the way. I want that ice to be lingering in there so I can go there and refill that thing and just have that ice still. How are you bringing water?
Starting point is 00:22:49 When I fill my big 45-ounce Yeti up with ice water, I do about six to seven cubes. That way, when I drink it all the way down, it's still really cold. Is your Yeti okay? Why is it letting the ice melt this fast? Because it takes if i put six or seven chills inside the yeti if i put six or seven cubes in my yeti those things
Starting point is 00:23:10 are still chilling there for like six hours are you going lid not if you put not if you put water in there that's higher than the that chill temperature oh see your your boy's going with that refrigerator water which is notoriously colder than the water are you that is what i use too are you lidden up yeah yeah it's water it's what's your second pick dog oh i can't believe i got water thrown over dude i know i i was gonna take it first but like i couldn't be the guy choosing water first yeah i hear you i hear you i do you took a running back in the like if i choose water first we're getting dolphins guy going okay okay yeah oh i could go a number of different ways with my second pick here i have some some really heavy hitters there are many beverages famous a lot of heavy hitters on the board still
Starting point is 00:23:55 i'm gonna go with a drink that um it has alcohol in it. I'll start there. Oh, boy. One of these is really good. I don't need two. One of them in a styrofoam. Oh, hates the environment. Styrofoam cup. Everyone knows to drink out of styrofoam is the best way to drink a cold liquid. Literally everybody knows that.
Starting point is 00:24:20 I don't. Yeah. It can't be argued. So let's just move on from that. I feel like it can be argued. There's definitely room. I'm going Bloody Mary. It can't be argued. So let's just move on from that. I feel like it can be argued. There's definitely room. Yeah. I'm going Bloody Mary. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Out of a styro. Take it, dude. With Zing Zang. I'll go Tito's Vodka. Plenty of ice. A Lime Wedge. Maybe a little, like, Tony's on top. Slice a New York-style pizza.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Hold it over and stuff down in there. Like a few chicken wings sticking out on a skewer. No, i just told you how i like it you don't like it with soup with vodka and some tony's sliders dust it with the little tony's on top just dust it you got that crab leg sticking out no i just said i don't have any of that stuff my old boss uh made his bloody marys with a crab boil and i he He made me one at our holiday party or whatever, and I almost threw up on the spot. It was revolting. I'm happy he didn't include crab boil.
Starting point is 00:25:12 No. What is crab boil? It's like the juice from a crab boil. You put it into the vat. Is that essentially what Clamato juice is? What's up with Clamato juice? Who are those people out there? I can see Randy being like, actually.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Are you a Clamato Juice guy, Randy? I could go for a Bloody right now. You put a Bloody in front of me right now, I'm drinking it. Dylan, it's 11.20 on a Wednesday. I don't care. You're all right. Dave, you're up. Bloody is a good pick.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Bloody is a good pick. Thank you, David. I'm going to go a different direction. Although, same ballpark. I'm going to go with cocktail glass, about, oh, I don't know, five to six ounces of sparkling water. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:07 Probably three to four ice cubes and a splash, just a splash of bitters, just a splash. Probably crazy. You're probably thinking, well, Dave, what the fuck, dude? Bitters, like, by themselves? Like, that's not good. You know, bitters, the botanical little hint of alcohol. This is an old recipe given to me by the uh bartender at uh what was formerly oak cliff country club now it's golf club of dallas
Starting point is 00:26:34 it's rebranded many times uh great track by the way great track will old course toasted a lot of good tournaments back in the day anyway that being that being said, the old course, he recommended it because we all went in there. It was me. Flounder was probably with me. And said, you know what? You guys look like shit. And we're like, fair. We do.
Starting point is 00:26:54 We are shit. He said, I got you. Mix it up. He said, drink this. Pound it. You'll be good to go. It's like the perfect amount of booze to kind of hair the dog you, but not too much to like drive you over the edge and, you know, spiraling into like a wild Sunday.
Starting point is 00:27:10 It's quite good. So, yes, splash of bitters, sparkling water. Try it. It works. Dude, I don't know how we're going to go on. Dude, sparkling water with bitters is off the board, though. Oh, that was on my list. Was that on your board?
Starting point is 00:27:23 Wow. You guys are leaving me with some big decisions to make some big decisions to make i have to do something because as you guys know the best flavor out there of this is riptide rush and i'm going with riptide Rush Gatorade, baby. Okay. Okay. It's not my current go-to, but if I go with the historical numbers, if I had a hangover wrapped, much like Spotify wrapped for my entire life,
Starting point is 00:27:56 Riptide Rush is probably going to be the top-played artist. I'll say that. Thank God there's not a dating wrapped. Oh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like a Taylor Swift album, right?
Starting point is 00:28:10 Just freaking dating. I'm a little stressed about my second choice. There's a lot on the board here. There's a lot on the board here. I'm not looking at your shit. I know you're not because I'm blocking you from doing that. As much as I don't want to do this, and I know I should pick something with alcohol in it,
Starting point is 00:28:28 I'm not going to. I'm going to do the responsible thing. And I am simply going to do something very basic. Something that is kind of just a role player. Go with an iced coffee. Not going hot coffee because I don't want hot coffee. I'm talking iced. Not cold brew coffee. I mean, if it's on ice because I don't want hot coffee. I'm talking iced. Not cold brew coffee.
Starting point is 00:28:47 I mean, if it's on ice, I don't care. I just need to be able to have that coffee flavor cold so I can drink it as fast as possible and not have to do that thing where I get the coffee at the place and I sit there and I have to wait 30 minutes before it's cool enough for me to drink. No, I need that iced coffee. I need it going through my veins. Yeah, that is one way to totally, totally compound a hangover is if you take a sip too early and burn the roof of your mouth,
Starting point is 00:29:10 your day is done. I don't drink hot liquids when I'm hungover. It's just not what I do. Okay. Bye. So you're not going to take bone broth? No. T, you're telling me there's bones in this broth?
Starting point is 00:29:24 Dave, what do you go with your third pick? I'm honestly shocked this is there. I should have taken this earlier, but this is a steal. Exactly one Guinness poured into a pint Served at close to room temperature. What? The way it's meant to be drank. Or drinking. Or drunk.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Consumed. So, again, it's yes. Really? Correct. Really? Yeah. Okay. Dave's a wild boy during this draft right now.
Starting point is 00:30:04 If you've never had it, Will. I think I've had one or two Guinness in my life. Is that the preferred temperature to drink it? That's how they do it in English pubs, I think. That's how they serve the old speckled hen. And I know Guinness isn't English. Old specky? If anyone out there,
Starting point is 00:30:20 if we have any listeners in Austin that are listening right now. We have a few. If we have any that can point me towards a place in Austin that does Cascales, I would love to go in and see. Those are served at room temperature.
Starting point is 00:30:34 I don't know what the deal is with them, but what I do know is that the last couple times that we've been overseas, Cascales have treated me very well, and I absolutely love them. So if anyone has any places i would love it if uh our boys over at kelly's started doing it you might catch me at kelly's this weekend you might catch me there at lunch d-man you got two picks to finish out this
Starting point is 00:30:55 draft my friend wow thank you well your your side of the draft at least right i wish there's a lot on the board still i have six on my board still i could go with any one of them and be very happy um oh this is this is gonna be difficult folks i'm gonna go with a oh i don't your third pick shouldn't be that difficult like you still have one that you still have one that can pick up the pieces you have the next two picks so all right i'm gonna i'm gonna do one that people are gonna the pieces. You have the next two picks. All right. I'm going to do one. People are going to think I'm just like a shill for this particular brand, and I'm not.
Starting point is 00:31:31 It's just I happen to love it. So you're going targeted at you, not generically. Liquid IV. Liquid IV. Dave, can you do me a favor and can you read me my number one thing on my list? Up here. iv dave can you can you do me a favor and can you read me my number one thing on my list up here um ice water with liquid iv i'm gonna go on ice yeah i mean ice water liquid iv uh i'm gonna go pina colada flavor i really enjoy it with a kite the kygo one i'll admit that liquid iv has completely replaced my gatorade habit and most other sugary post-big night drinks. That's all gone to liquid IV, and I think I'm better off for it.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Hungover mornings, 100% of the time, we'll have a liquid IV. 100%. 100% of the time. Not spawn. It really gets me on track to recovery. I don't even know when the last time we did a liquid IV ad was. You know it's not spawn. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Good point. I just got another package at my place. It's a liquid IV ad was. You know it's not spawned. Exactly. Good point. I just got another package at my place. It's for the mail-in. Yeah, I still get those monthly. Shout out. That's sick. The mail-in stuff
Starting point is 00:32:31 gets sent to me. I need to bring that up here. Fourth pick, Dylan. Ooh, my fourth pick. You're kind of on brick watch. I could, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I could go Fountain Diet Coke, which is another fantastic beverage. I could go Fountain Diet Coke, which is another fantastic beverage. I could go Pedialyte and just really just, you know, the hydration play. You just did the electrolyte play. I know. I'm not doing Pedialyte.
Starting point is 00:32:55 You don't want to do that. I'm not doing that. I could also go Bing Bong. I have Bing Bong on here. I drink it hot. It would have to be hot because I already took cold. I drink it hot. I already took cold, Dylan.
Starting point is 00:33:02 I drink it hot hungover. Just go ahead, dude. I'm going to go a nice crispy lager for my fourth pick. Lager season. Just a crispy, nice cold, preferably a draft. But if that's not available to me in the moment, I'll just open the fridge and get something out of there. Crispy lager. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Perhaps a, I don't know, a Peroni. Go ahead, Dave. Nostro Zorro. Sure. A Peroni will go a long way if you're hungover. Yeah. That was pretty much my go-to when we were in the home country. If you're serious about getting rid of a hangover,
Starting point is 00:33:43 or at least expediting it, then I am a firm believer that you have to get out there and just go into the wild a little bit. cup of coffee from a coffee shop that you yourself, assuming you are under the limit, drive to or someone you are with drives to. I was ready to dunk on your pig. I was for sure you were going to break it. I kind of like this pig. I like getting out there and just saying, hey, here I am. I'm going to deal with it. I'm going to get a little wave of anxiety, but it's going to conclude this hangover sooner so yeah and i know you're you're spending the i mean with coffee flation it's probably like five bucks now for a venti or whatever but i think it's gonna do you favors it's gonna pay off dividends uh as that sunday progresses or saturday whatever day or monday whenever you choose to be hung over i don't
Starting point is 00:34:43 hate this pic dave it's an interesting pic i know but um because you painted you painted a beautiful story i thought you were gonna say you were gonna go to like a nearby river and just put your mouth in there so did i like when you said we're saying get out in the wild i was like is dave about to go like suck sap out of the tree he's gonna go drink lake water he's gonna make a hot toddy out of like some foraged lemons yeah just freak i just don't know if we have any of those rivers nearby. No. Wolves change rivers.
Starting point is 00:35:10 I wouldn't drink out of them. You can't even swim in Town Lake. It's a good pick, Dave. With my final pick, I'm picking something that people are probably yelling at their phone right now, being like, how have they not picked a mimosa yet? Oh. You guys haven't picked a mimosa yet? That's good, man.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Well, I got bad news. Mimosa's not getting picked with the final pick of this draft that might be a miss from us uh mimosas i've retired from i get too much it's a late 20s drink i'm getting way too much stuff going on in the chest after that i'm getting that acid reflux and it's tired to be honest that champagne's kind of running through me lately it's a gateway it's It's a gateway for a wild getting hammered Sunday. My tum-tum issues have been brought on by champagne, and it's not a good thing.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Shout to my boy Toad. You know Toad, who had 17 mimosas at a bottomless brunch one time. He's a large man. Pretty impressive. And he took a great nap afterward, and then he sprung back to life. And this was in Vegas. Great time. 17?
Starting point is 00:36:01 17 mimosas. That's a lot. By the end of them, it was just all champagne. It's a lot. He put on an absolute show just all champagne it was it's a lot he put on an absolute show hey can i get to my pick instead of just completely cucking it for your vegas dude marcus lopez ate 34 pieces of cc's pizza same thing after the soccer game in third grade with my final pick i am choosing my most recent hungover drink of choice i will do this at most places we go to as austin is bussing with places that make good
Starting point is 00:36:25 ones i'm going with a classic chelada my friends a chelada that's good not a michelada a chelada for the folks at home who don't know what that is how about you go ahead and fill them in you take a lot of lime you take a lot of salt you can maybe even take a little hot sauce if you're wild and you put that in the bottom of a glass, and you pour your beer into it. It will change everything. Everything. It's the one thing that makes me feel better, and it's the one thing that I really do enjoy drinking if I'm hungover,
Starting point is 00:36:54 and that is going to be my alcoholic drink of choice. Have you ever tried these concoctions that people swear by, hungover cures that have egg in it and Tabasco? I don't know what else they put in there. I've done it. I've done the fresh cracked pepper on a raw egg with some, as everyone knows, it's pronounced Worcestershire sauce. And yeah, I don't know if it actually helped
Starting point is 00:37:14 or if I just told myself it helped, but I did feel better. When you did your bloody pick, did you say anything about Worcestershire? No, I don't usually put that in my bloody. I'm not opposed to it, but I don't reach for it if I'm making one. I like it. I like it. Good draft. Randy,
Starting point is 00:37:28 who, uh, who, who do you, who do you have in this draft? Uh, let me read them off. Let me read them off.
Starting point is 00:37:35 Will famously me, uh, fast food, Sprite, Riptide, rush, Gatorade, ice coffee,
Starting point is 00:37:41 and gelata. Dave has a Coca-Cola eight ounce can with four, count them, four ice cubes sparkling water you know dave's with bitters uh exactly one guinness or coffee shop coffee and then dylan has ice water bloody mary liquid iv and then a crispy lager i'm gonna go ahead have to go with dylan i don't know how you guys go pop in the first round. Who's drinking pop before like 10 a.m.? People are hungover.
Starting point is 00:38:10 It's weird to me that some people call it pop. Hey, watch this. Thank you, Randy. I agree with your pick. Wow, dude. Wow. Randy just got muted. Pick your phone back up.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Post your Instagram or whatever you're doing. Get your Instagram off. He got turned down, didn't he? He sure did. Damn, that draft went so well that some people are calling us draft kings draft kings sports book an official sports betting partner the nfl is my go-to when betting nfl this holiday season there's so many different ways you can bet same game parlays you can even you can don't even have to do same game parlays you can just do a straight up parlay boy oh you like a to do same-game parlays. You can just do a straight-up parlay boy. Ooh. You like a little in-game live bullets flying?
Starting point is 00:38:47 I mean, sometimes it's a necessary move. It's a fun way to get some action in the game. I'm a player prop guy. Are you? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I like to choose one guy every weekend that I think is going to take the top off the defense, and then I try to put some money on his yardage.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Cowboys just signed T.Y. Hilton. That's the guy that'll take that top off right there. Right now, new customers can bet just $5 on any NFL team to win their game and get $150 in free bets if they do. Check this out. Right now, everyone can earn up to 100% boost with DraftKings
Starting point is 00:39:18 stepped up same game parlays. Go to the DraftKings Sportsbook app, place a same game parlay and combine multiple bets like which team will win, player props, point totals, and more. And the more legs you add, the bigger the boost, the bigger your shot to win big. We got a full slate.
Starting point is 00:39:32 If you aren't scared of these Detroit Lions, just know that I'll be financially backing them. They're hot. They are hot. It's a hot football team. Physically. Well, they're playing well is what I meant. That too.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Yeah. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. Use code WASHED to place a $5 bet on any NFL team to win their game and then you get $150 in free bets if they do. Only at the DraftKings Sportsbook with code WASHED. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. And what is our next segment gonna be man i got some news for you guys you guys Wow. Headlines. Headlines. Different segment. Oh. Where do we want to start? There's been a lot
Starting point is 00:40:31 going on in the news cycle the last 24 hours, 48 hours, really, if you want to take it back. But I think we should start with the most important story first. And of course, as all of our listeners in STEM are aware, we've reached a fusion power milestone in this country, in this existence, in humanity. But as NPR asks, and as I've been asking, is it going to be enough to save the planet? You guys seen this? I've seen it, yeah. Scientists with the U.S. Department of Energy have reached a breakthrough in nuclear fusion. Of course, you guys are familiar with fusion and how it differs from fission.
Starting point is 00:41:08 I drove one for four years. He pronounces it nuclear. Will does. No, I drove a fusion for four years. It treated me incredibly. To everyone out there who's driving a Ford Fusion right now, I'm very happy for you guys. The AC in that thing sucks. It was a backseat AC.
Starting point is 00:41:21 So this is about a midsize Ford sedan? Yeah, it was the backseat that didn't have the air conditioning. For the first time ever, researchers were able to generate more energy from fusion reactions than they used to start the process. Why is that important? Well, let me tell you this. Seems rather obvious. The total power out was around 150% of the power that was put in by the 192 laser beams. And you're probably thinking, how many megajoules is that? Did they use sharks with laser beams attached to their're probably thinking, how many megajoules is that? Did they use sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?
Starting point is 00:41:48 Wait, how many megajoules is that? Which is weird because I thought they outlawed those. I've been hitting megajoules since like 2014. That's facts. Roughly 3.15 megajoules. 3.15 megajoules. Correct. That takes me like a week to go through.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Our ability to turn a real – like a serious tone segment. You're doing exactly what you don't like. I'm doing what I get so pissed at you guys for doing. Dave's trying to talk science over here, and you're just derailing him. No, I'm just hoping you're being funny so I can read more of this and have something to say i'll be funny bitch and our no i say if mango flavored uh damn popcorn i'm not gonna i don't want to bore people with how this works i think most people are familiar with how you create like you could explain it but you just don't want to like you said all that time lasers on like a tiny
Starting point is 00:42:43 pellet of hydrogen or something i asked brett yesterday to explain it like i was five and i soon learned that brett has never talked to a child of the age of five before because the words that he was using were large and voluminous yeah you've used that twice today and i'm not going to say what the first the first one was before we recorded yeah freaking laser beams yeah lasers follow Lasers. I'd have followed that act, by the way. $1 million. So we're still a long ways away from this actually being a viable energy resource. Oh, man, really?
Starting point is 00:43:11 So why are all these dorks all excited about it? We're trying to save the planet, Will. It's a step in the right direction. Well, the planet's going down very quickly. We don't have decades. Do you care about the planet? We don't have decades, dude. This is a pressing issue.
Starting point is 00:43:21 I feel like we have a good time. I like this sentence. The NIF first opened in 2009 but its initial laser shots fell well short of expectations just some some weak laser shot game you like different kind of shots yeah where does back shots game i need a new headshot for linkedin yeah yours is pretty mid because it kind of it's like a 15 year old do y'all have any eight like high quality photos of yourselves that we can submit to Apple so that we all have a photo of ourselves on the page?
Starting point is 00:43:47 No, I haven't taken a high-quality photo in about six years. I look like shit. Because we can do that. I have a photo in there for me because I submitted one. What about us? I don't have high-quality photos of you. So you just did yourself? You think that I am going to take a photo of you from my phone
Starting point is 00:44:04 and submit it to Apple without your clearance? You submitted a photo just of yourself and not us. Yeah. Wait, is that why your face pops up? Yes, because you can submit a photo if you're a host. So I submitted a photo. Hey, real company man over here. Jeez.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Send me a high-quality photo and I'll show you how to do this. It's supposed to be a serious news segment and we're out here just pulling back the curtain. Just jerking around. Will's telling everybody that he just cucked us. You're talking about Jolton back shots, David. Yeah, dude. Grow up. I'm David. And freaking laser beams.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Researchers say that fusion energy could one day provide clean, safe electricity without greenhouse gas emissions. But even with this announcement, independent scientists believe that dream remains many decades away.'re saying like 2060 2070 so dylan no offense but oh i won't see i'll be in the dirt yeah it'll be that'll be well we might see this but it's not gonna be for very long i'll be dead in a doornail i'm gonna be against it you're gonna i'm just gonna be like i was thinking about it keep burning coal like come on all the olds out there like they definitely have issues with like things that the younger generation are doing and i was trying to think uh earlier today
Starting point is 00:45:13 like what is going to be the thing that i can't grasp that like my grandchildren are like god like grandpa grandpa is like he just doesn't get this scenario i still don't understand electricity like i'm i'm toast do you know how electricity works uh yeah no um what about fax machines watts uh tax machines yeah that's that's what you're stuck on of all the things out there it's fascinating i don't understand how fax machines came out before so many other inventions in the world like whoever created fax machines needs to be regarded as one of the smartest people of all time that's facts because what they did was what they did was very impressive compared to a lot of the other stuff going on at that point like what though specifically what other stuff also if if all the old people out
Starting point is 00:46:05 there could figure out how to fucking use a fax machine in 1994 why like why can't they figure out how to set up an iphone and shit like that fax machines are very easy to use no yeah no have you ever used one uh i've tried didn't work they frequently have mishaps i've i've worked in an industry that used to use fax machines quite often and they they stink see this is why we know dylan's older than us because he knows how to use a fax machine my last job i use fax machines remember we had that segment the fax machine yeah that didn't go over that well we just people liked it. We just shared interesting facts. Some people don't like their minds blown or freaked. I learned that. That's true.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Mind freak. That's funny that Will's just stuck on fax machines. I did. I've never really understood it. This is an interesting story. And if we have any listeners out there in STEM that would like to elaborate on this, feel free to email Dylan at washedmedia.com. Will, can I get my intro music
Starting point is 00:47:06 one more time? You know some shit's going down here. What else you got, Davey? Phoenix police officer accused of making porn while on duty using the name Rico Blaze. Rico Blaze. It's a sick name. You got to give it to him. Christian Goggins reportedly posted the pornography under the Twitter alias Rico Blaze, which is now private. I tried to look it up. This guy was doing – You already followed him, right? Wow, sorry. He was doing the obvious.
Starting point is 00:47:37 He was doing what our friend – our friend, the proprietor of the Bendy tweet did, and he was just posting porn to twitter which is the thing you can do and it always it always uh shocks me and even jars me dylan when i see pornography on dylan or on oh god oh come on man twitter sorry yeah um anytime someone retweets a porn on my to and it has happened a couple of times it is quite jarringarring. That's not why I'm on Twitter, folks, all right? Get that shit out of my face. Unless it's a Bendy tweet that I'm very interested in. It's why Ted Cruz famously is on Twitter, if you remember that story from years past.
Starting point is 00:48:16 He liked something? He liked something. The olds, they don't know that we can see that stuff. You just don't like it. Don't acknowledge it. Like it, but don't like it don't acknowledge it but don't like you can you can like it and i'm not gonna judge you unless you're an elected official and i might i want to go on record and say that my likes are endorsements well that's big um so his nickname
Starting point is 00:48:39 uh on twitter from his page which there is a screenshot available. King Nut-a-Lot. What does that mean exactly? Can you explain to me what King Nut-a-Lot is? He likes to eat almonds or something? I got some bad news. I don't think he spelled, you know, a lot. A lot of people frequently combine those, and it's incorrect. I think you might have combined them.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Classic mistake. It's not a good mistake. Have we confirmed or denied whether he did in fact not a lot um we are we're trying to confirm right now we i have a our best team on it what was he the king of nutting a lot nuttingham forest i don't know man i don't know about that okay is um is this guy still employed we got into that i believe he's on administrative leave well he was a cop yeah he was working from home and he was trying to you know probably make a little extra on the side he's working from home he's a cop how do you
Starting point is 00:49:42 work from home yeah since what are cops like working from home? He's a cop. How do you work from home? Yeah. Since when are cops like working from home? That was, when I first saw this story, that was one of my questions. Like, what's a man doing from home? There's cops that are on desk duty.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Yeah, but like, I feel like desk duty still, I mean, I know a desk pop as much as anybody, but like, I just,
Starting point is 00:49:58 I feel like you need to be in the precinct for that, dog. Drinking, drinking old coffee and smoking cigarettes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Just looking stressed out. Yeah. Pretty much. That's how I envision it. Yeah. That's like the perfect cop scenario. Headlines. You got an ashtray?
Starting point is 00:50:18 We're not finished. Scientists discover clitorises on female snakes per BBC. Wow. Wow. Wow, they finally found it. This episode is getting hornier and hornier as time goes on. According to the BBC News Network,
Starting point is 00:50:33 female snakes do have clitorises, Dylan. Scientists have discovered shattering, a long-held assumption. That's something I think we all kind of thought was facts. Is shattering, is that related to daggering? Do they have vaginas? Snakes? Well, snake penises. I don't know how it works, man.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Do snakes have penises? Yes. They've been studied for decades, in fact. Female sex organs have been overlooked in comparison. Makes sense. Where is it located? Well, a lot of people know that the oviduct is divided into the infundibulum and the magnum. The snake's uterus that secretes the membrane in some species of viviparous snakes serves as a placentation in vagina.
Starting point is 00:51:18 BBC spoke to a male snake who said, Huh, that's news to me. You got to hit me up before you do that so that I can have the laugh track queued up. So the live studio audience, they weren't ready for that joke. Yeah. So that's news to me. Couldn't find it. Folks, that's the joke. and that concludes the news for today i'd like to thank
Starting point is 00:51:48 our co-contributor will defrees for sending the one of those stories i won't say which one it was it was the story about snakes having clits it was the start of this episode never never wondering about a snake's clitoris and now i'm informed thank you to bbc for putting that on my tl today well that i am thankful those are two of the three of the biggest stories of the last 48 hours okay maybe into climate change maybe king not a lot snake lit okay i've got some breaking news oh shit you hear about this dualipa person i don't like this story why it's just i don't understand i've never been into this to this
Starting point is 00:52:36 feller she's bad she's bad what we know about dualipa so she bad she is bad. She's a bad, bad woman. When I heard Meet Me in the Middle for the first time, it was like, okay, I got to know more about this artist. And the more I got into her catalog, it was like, blew my mind. She's got it all. Dua Lipa right now is everything I need out of a pop star. Her songs, all bangers. She's doing collabs with people that I appreciate.
Starting point is 00:53:08 You appreciate DaBaby? Elton John. Oh, yeah, you're a big DaBaby guy, aren't you? To be honest, I actually muted that so much that that's not even what I was thinking about. It's kind of weird that Dave thought of it first. Whoa! Honestly, didn't need a verse on that song in the first place.
Starting point is 00:53:22 If she's involved with Jack Harlow, that means that she kicked involved with Jack Harlow, that means that she kicked Trevor Noah to the curb, which is something I like. She was dating Trevor Noah? They were caught kissing on the street. Per du moi, they were canoodling. Yeah, yeah. They were gallivanting around Europe.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Not good. That guy's not funny. If we need to fall on the Jack Harlow sword in order to get rid of Trevor Noah as being Dua Lipa's boyfriend, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that see i think she went with one average dude to another i really i don't celebrate jack harlow's catalog i know a lot of ladies like him including dualipa i just don't get it i'm also 38 yeah i
Starting point is 00:54:01 for me for me personally i don't have anything against jack harlow i actually think the internet's very hard on him and i think they were very mean to him about that glamorous song when to be honest that song is not something i listen to often or maybe ever but it's not a bad song why why does he get shit he's just a corny white guy it's because he looks like he looks like the dude from lion the witch in the wardrobe i. I think that's why he gets the shit. Is that Bilbo? I'm not familiar with that one. If you look it up, you'll be like, oh,
Starting point is 00:54:31 that is facts. Okay. That's Bale Wolf. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, you want to get unmuted, Randy? Okay, Randy wants to get unmuted. I believe you're referring to Mr. Tumnus. Yeah. Mr. Who? Mr. Tumnus. He's a goat man, fawn i think yeah look up mr tumness and tell me he doesn't look like a harlow he's not one of those jack harlow types
Starting point is 00:54:49 shout out spooky season yeah yeah it's hybrid human uh summer uh you're up in uh dallas fort worth watch out for the goat man i don't know if he looks like is that right yeah he looks like tumness i don't know shit about this shit oh he was famously a male fawn yeah that's right oh a former servant of the white witch and later a high official in narnia during the golden age i didn't realize that dude we were doing that but we are dude they need to elect more high officials of course he's the son of jadis the white witch do you think and i think i might have asked you guys this before if you're a celebrity and you have celebrity friends do you think that sometimes you're just like celebrities like let's say that you have like a let's say you have a you're you're
Starting point is 00:55:35 an a-list celebrity and like you suddenly got linked you start you got invited to a release party for euphoria, okay? And let's say you talked to Sidney Sweeney at that party. You guys became friends. You had a friendly rapport, whatever. Do you think they're ever just like, hey, should we just go on a date and get the news talking about us right now? Should we make some waves right now? It's good for pub. I think publicists make that happen all the time.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Because I think that would be a fun game to play and just see what the media would do if you did something like that. Question. Hypothetical. That would be a fun game to play and just see what the media would do if you did something like that. Question. Hypothetical. If you were an A-list celeb, I'm talking like A-A-list, you know, DiCaprio status, would you date a normie? Or would you only date people in your realm? I think it becomes – if you're an A-list celebrity, I would assume that it becomes very difficult to find a civilian to date who would understand what goes into it and that would understand that you are no longer uh a member of society and you're of the illuminati at that point you've lost your civilian status it'd be really hard you got to find somebody
Starting point is 00:56:39 who's willing to have their life ruined because i mean that's usually it ends up that person is getting torn apart in like a tabloid like yeah i think it would be hard to it would be i think it'd be a lot easier if it was your high school sweetheart and then you just like got famous with them and they were always with you and riding with you but to to be that famous and then go back and date like somebody that's just like an accountant for some random company in new york city like there's going to be a disconnect in your lifestyles that is going to be difficult to get over so i don't i think you would almost have to choose from like other people that get it if you're an a-lister yeah it's sad to think about you could date down to like a c-lister yeah i think i think your move is just dming random girls and saying might need to see the booty though that's true oh yeah you bring up some good points but i hate it i told you this we've talked about it before i do find it a little annoying when like famous people
Starting point is 00:57:35 only surround themselves with other like really high profile famous people when you see someone get famous and then they only follow verified people yeah how are you wronging all your old friends like this yeah it's like you only follow other check marks it's like, how are you wronging all your old friends like this? Yeah, it's like you only follow other check marks. It's like, come on, man. I don't care for that. But if you're also an A-lister, you kind of want to be in the mix, I feel like. You'd want to date another A-lister
Starting point is 00:57:55 and get people all in a tizzy over it. It'd be fun. That probably gets old pretty quick. You might do that for mid-20s A-list, but as you settle down and in early 30s just kind of take it off the grid a little bit well dylan told me that his methodology if he was a celebrity would be to date young women like 22 years old and then date them till they're 26 and then get rid of them like right around when they're 26 yeah yeah then you start the process
Starting point is 00:58:21 over again which is why i married a 34 yearyear-old. Famously. Famously. Yeah. I aborted that plan real fast. I think I'm kind of in on this couple, mainly because I don't think there's any lasting power here. I don't really... No, she's English, right? She's not American.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Yeah, and I believe she might be Armenian as well. Okay. I really don't have a follow-up on that, but I'm just kind of playing it out in my head. Have you seen those? You're squinting your eyes and nodding, and taking into consideration what that would be. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:58:53 Have you seen what she does to that mic stand, Dave? I have. You send it every morning. That's how we kick off the days here at Washed Media. Yeesh. By the way, when I got up before that ad read to to pp i couldn't because somebody was in the bathroom it's just bad timing that poor bathroom man it's been a tough day for that just mondo city in there oh our bat the wash media hq bathroom is down bad today yeah holler hey i got a story for you guys okay you ready you want to share it maybe
Starting point is 00:59:29 yes no this michael b jordan guy not michael jordan michael b jordan i still need to see creed too i do too i enjoyed creed one i did too creed one uh got a little spoiled for me because I listened to an interview with Michael B. Jordan where he said that after they got done taping Creed, his body shut down completely as if he had just gotten done training for an actual boxing match. And I sat there and I was like, that seems like a little much.
Starting point is 00:59:57 That is a little much. I enjoyed his work in The Wire, of course, David. Well, our man Michael B. Jordan is officially part owner of an EPL club. Bournemouth. You guys familiar with Bournemouth? Not exactly the heaviest of hitters.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Oh, yeah, for sure. I'm really glad it's not a pickleball team. He probably is part owner of a pickleball team. Too many pickleball owners right now. Where's Bournemouth? I believe northern England.land okay it's in uh i had the city earlier he's a hot man vegas golden knights owner dylan bill foley has completed his 186 million dollar takeover of afc born myth leading the club's new minority ownership group is michael
Starting point is 01:00:43 b jordan his first foray into pro sports ownership see these i think you gotta become a bournemouth guy now because of the the golden knights connection yeah because of your golden knights connection dude like you're essentially a boy last night by the way see the rich get richer man he got i mean guys like us we don't get these uh deals presented to us like hey you want part in on this uh bournem deal? Because we're poor. I want buy-into franchise money. That's what I want. I at least want someone to ask me.
Starting point is 01:01:11 That's all I want. And I will politely decline. I want to own enough of a club or a team to where I can get tickets fairly easily. I want to sit courtside at a basketball game. I want to know that I can get tickets fairly easily. I want to sit courtside at a basketball game. I want to know that I can show up randomly and go to Will Call and get my suite given to me. Be taken care of. Yeah, here are your tickets.
Starting point is 01:01:31 I want to go courtside one, maybe two games a year, and then the rest of the time be able to dish it out to friends, family, clients. If you're loaded and you can buy one sports franchise, what sport are you doing it in? Probably football. Okay. Or basketball.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Most money is in football. Or basketball. Well, is money what... Do you care about money at that point? I think if I got to the point to where I was in the conversation, I would have become just a greedy fox. So yeah, I probably would.
Starting point is 01:02:00 I think the culture around basketball is more fun. Like it's more like a, more like a who's who of... I'd obviously buy a soccer team, but I think I would go NBA before I would go NFL solely because I think it'd be more fun. It'd be more fun. I would probably buy a live tour team. Do you want a celebrity buying your franchise?
Starting point is 01:02:22 Yeah. I'd buy the hot shots. You do? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I got some hate the other day on lad football broth because i poo-pooed uh ryan reynolds what percentage is michael b jordan gonna own not very much i would assume this is like jay-z jay-z on like a very very small percentage of the nets yeah and it's like lebron's got some liverpool
Starting point is 01:02:41 equity like whatever they're trying to sell liverpool though we need to get mailbox money i think that's we can afford a new mailbox that's that's the goal we need one we can get one not a big deal this guy man i don't know manchester united is up for sale right now and i'm really excited to see who buys them there was there was talk of Apple. Tim. How can a fruit buy a franchise like that? Dude, I was asking the same thing. I was asking the same thing.
Starting point is 01:03:10 This is a knee-slapping episode. People are liking it. What's your favorite kind of apple, though? Granny Smith, dog. I'm a Fuji guy, though, man. I don't hate that Honeycrisp, though. Mm-hmm. I feel like the sour apple is good in the summer.
Starting point is 01:03:25 Nah, I'm out on that. It's a summertime fruit. Summertime. Yeah, I know it's not the most popular, but those Granny Smiths do hit Diffie. We've run out of things to talk about this episode, I think. This pod has everything. Fun one.
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's time. We're not done, Dylan. This Weekend in Fun presented by our good friends over at Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C from Superfruit Acerola. Between gift-giving and family traditions, the holidays are full of lighthearted moments that make the end of the year a bit more enjoyful. Enjoyful?
Starting point is 01:04:01 Dave and I can't talk today. You couldn't either, dude. No. Whole squad on that fumbling. We got fog brain. Luckily for everybody, Vizzy Hard Seltzer brings the joyful vibes all year round.
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Starting point is 01:04:25 Kiwi, blueberry, pomegranate, black cherry, lime, and pineapple mango. The other one's got watermelon, strawberry,
Starting point is 01:04:30 raspberry, tangerine, papaya, passion fruit, and blackberry lemon. Or if you're feeling a little, a little dusty in the morning, maybe bust out that busy mimosa pack.
Starting point is 01:04:40 Busy hard seltzer flavors for every vibe. Stock up on busy hard seltzer and show some love for the show. Here's how to get yours. Go to busy hard seltzer.com every vibe stock up on busy hard seltzer and show some love for the show here's how to get yours go to busy hard seltzer.com slash wash to find busy near you busy hard seltzer.com slash washed and to hear first about the latest flavor drops and more sign up at busy hard seltzer.com slash subscribe you must be 21 or older and i know that our good friends over at the molson coors beverage company in milwaukee wisconsin would love for you to celebrate responsibly. Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend?
Starting point is 01:05:08 Thanks for asking, Will. I am fairly wide open. Don't have the kids Friday or Saturday. We have the kids Sunday, but your boy's pretty wide open, like I said. I am open to stepping out at some point. Don't know what you guys have going on. I'm sure I'll find out in a minute. But, yeah, I'm open.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Hall-art player. He's open, folks. I might take Parks to Dave & Buster's Sunday. If you want to come with and get some chicken tendies and play some Dance Dance Revolution, just holler at me. Do they still have Time Cop? I don't know. Oh, man. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Yeah, I have nothing nothing which i'm actually pretty excited for i'm gonna sleep in on saturday must be nice are you saying you're pretty wide open yeah i'm gonna sleep in on saturday though that's on that's on my calendar can we make a t-shirt that just says yeah my weekend's pretty wide open and i'm sure and then on the back it says i'm really excited about it can't wait yeah new meme format just dropped. What's that boy getting into? The only thing I have on the books is Saturday. Do not talk to me from about 11 a.m. until about 9 p.m. Why is that?
Starting point is 01:06:14 It's a long time. Here's the reason why. Just don't talk to me Saturday, basically, is what I'm telling you. Because it's state championship week at Texas High School football. And, no, I was thinking about going up. Oh, come on, dude. You said you were going to go up. I know. Logistically,
Starting point is 01:06:29 it just didn't work out. And we're going to be going up there the following weekend. So, I'm going to watch the games at home. It's always fun. I don't know. Anybody in Texas can watch it. I think Fox Sports will be showing it or Ballet. Whatever the fuck. I probably can't even get it. If I find out you can anybody in texas can watch it i think fox sports will be showing it or ballets whatever the
Starting point is 01:06:45 fuck i probably can't even get it if i find out i can't get watch these games right to stream it on my laptop go up i'm going on fox it'll be on fox uh yeah duncanville north shore round four get to soto got austin vandergrift a high school i was completely unfamiliar with that's a frat name three days ago have you ever heard of that school? No, but if I met a dude named that, I'd be like, you're fucking frat. Steiner Ranch? Steiner Grift. Oh.
Starting point is 01:07:10 UT Golf Club area? Yes. Oh. That's where it is. And they went 10-1. All right. Interesting. No Westlake.
Starting point is 01:07:18 It's going to be fun. Also, shout out South Oak Cliff playing 5A. DeSoto, Duncanville. A lot of funness. That's it. Sunday I got nothing. Maybe I'll go to D&B. Maybe I'll go to D&B and play Revolution X.
Starting point is 01:07:32 I didn't even know he was in the house. Dave Matthews? There's no such thing as a bad shot on this show. I'll tell you one thing. We're not afraid to shoot. No, we are shooters. Your boy. What a weekend he's got lined up sally is leaving town tomorrow morning completely ditching me uh she's going to cabo san lucas so yeah you could say my wife is on cabeza watch for a girl's trip
Starting point is 01:07:59 oh she's going to our ball game that we have which this the knowing that she that she's going out of town the week before Christmas for a girls' trip, I'm going to kick my foot through the door and open up that door for maybe a golf trip next year around this time. The precedent's set, my friend. You have my number. The precedent is set. I heard you say you don't like golf this morning. I don't.
Starting point is 01:08:20 Yeah. But I like being around the boys and mixing it up. It's facts. Golf is just something we do. I don't know. I just don't know if a boys' trip gets Golf is just something we do. I don't know. I just don't know if a boys trip gets planned in a seamless manner like this girls trip did, but that's neither here nor there. Where do you do a late December golf trip?
Starting point is 01:08:33 Dude, we got to go to La Jerez, right? Ooh. Let's go West Texas. La Jerez? So yeah, that means that your boy's on dad duty. And so it's going to be an absolute lad fest. We got the third place game on saturday morning and then on sunday i'm gonna sit there and watch a little
Starting point is 01:08:52 world cup final what's the fritz man catch me not getting like fired up if i'm playing in a third place game i don't give a shit i'll be honest don't get why they even bother yeah don't get why they even bother what time is the final I believe it's at 9 a.m. And so am I going to have one single beer with my son? He's not going to get any of that beer as he's not two years old yet. And so, yeah, I think I'm just going to have a beer on the couch and watch that World Cup final, enjoy myself.
Starting point is 01:09:20 A nice room temperature beer? Maybe. Okay. Maybe. There's a good chance it's a Guinness. Maybe I'll go. Maybe I'll get a... If I can find one.
Starting point is 01:09:28 It's been hard to find lately. Maybe I'll go get a busy mimosa pack and we can have the boys over. Just saying. And yeah, I have a Christmas party that I'm invited to, but I'm a little gun shy to go because I'm shy and I don't know anyone that's going to be there. Just you by yourself? Well, I don't know. I don't know. It's possible I go by myself Just you by yourself? Well, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:09:45 I don't know. It's possible I go by myself. That reminds me. I have a Christmas party to go to Saturday. Oh, man. I forgot about it. I don't know. I complain all the time about making friends at 35 and how difficult it is, but then I'm shy to go to a Christmas party that I got invited to.
Starting point is 01:09:59 I got to man up a little bit. So I think I'm going to go to this Christmas party and go out on a limb on Saturday night. I'm really excited. You should take some mushrooms. Should I take mushrooms before going to the Christmas party where I don't know anybody? Yeah. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see.
Starting point is 01:10:14 And so, yeah, going to be a pretty chill weekend. Just kind of in cozy holiday mode. We finally got temperatures dipping below 60s, which means we've opened the door for a little fireplace. I almost did them last night, but it still wasn't crisp enough around our place. It's nice not having to put shorts on my son when I'm getting him ready for the day. So, yeah. It's going to be a cold Christmas. Honestly, if I can get away, let's hypothetically say I get a babysitter.
Starting point is 01:10:42 The number one place that I will go kelly's kelly's irish pub you think i won't see you there as as as uh someone that's not my brother-in-law but like the most easy way to describe him it would be my brother-in-law yeah he said to me recently i want i want them to know my name there and i thought yes i want that too that's such a hard way of putting it i want that too We should do like a boys night there. I want to go. What are the chances that they know my name because they banned me from there
Starting point is 01:11:12 versus they know my name because I go there a lot. I want to go where everybody knows your name. Somehow not only ruin Cheers, but you also ruin the spinoff Frasier as well. We've run out of things, folks. It's happened. What is the joke you made Randy laugh with? I missed it completely, man. Was it heat? Yeah, it was fine.
Starting point is 01:11:32 Let's circle back on that joke. You got jokes? I wanna go where everybody knows. Say goodbye, Dylan. We don't want people. Bye.

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