Circling Back - The Niche Male Internet Celebrity Draft & Mouth Tacos
Episode Date: May 6, 2024We draft our favorite niche male internet celebrities, discuss the kickback Will threw over the weekend, Mitt Romney having to confront his dog transportation tactics again, gambling at Dave & Busters..., drunk vultures, and more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:00) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (33:40) Niche Male Internet Celebrity Draft (1:01:00) Gambling at Dave And Busters (1:06:18) Mitt Romney Defending Dog Transportation (1:15:56) Drunk Vultures Support This Episode’s Sponsors Aura Frames: www.auraframes.com (CIRCLING for $20 off) Stamps: www.stamps.com/circlingback (4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale — code CIRCLINGBACK) Rocket Money: www.rocketmoney.com/circling Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast my name's will toze We're in the Wash Media Headquarters, Austin, Texas
To my left
David
The Playoff Bandit, Ruff
I wasn't going to bring that up
It's okay
Out of respect
It's okay
Today is giving fun
This whole week
It's not only content week
Rumors of producer week uh rumors of potential big
announcement week and rumors of just good weather get past the 90 92 degree days friday is looking
delightful what's this fun slash good announcement well no no those are separate the announcement is
good but fun in general you understand what i'm saying it's gonna be a fun week that's yeah we're doing we're doing comedy uh do we have is the news that you're
talking about watch media related or is this david ruff personal related because you're gonna have
people clamoring right some personal news no i not really um do i have personal news i don't think
you do i've been athlete athletes foot free for like six months that's that's something
and i'm winding down my shoulder physical therapy so if you guys are noticed i'm looking kind of
like a brick house will can you talk to your physical therapist can you talk to your physical
therapist about how i slept on my shoulder all night last night and i woke up with a sore shoulder
can you ask if they have any solutions dude it happens to me all the time i don't know i don't
know what to do about it i just be out here sleeping you know i got one of us was not sleep
i thought you slept on your belly no i thought you slept on yeah you sleep on your belly so
you can have your cowboy hat on and not crush it i sleep sitting up so i got my cowboy hat
that's true dylan shivery do you guys speaking of fun announcements do you guys want to know when the golden tea machine
will be yeah yeah it's been in austin texas for a few days now and i'd love to know when we're
getting a fucking golden tea machine in the studio i got those fuckers on the horn this
morning okay saw me walking i heard you pacing around i didn't know if you were doing like a
telehealth appointment or something so i don't want to be uneasy so you do or do you not well
you had a weird energy during that phone call dude not not a palpable excitement like i would
have had kind of moving like snakes broski i wasn't moving like snakes
i thought you were doing i thought you were like well they called me friday and they're like hey
we got your thing but uh we don't have an address i was like well that's weird because you should
have it you should have had it for a few weeks now typically when you ship something so the i
usually put an address on things before I ship them.
So the original shipping service passed it on to a new shipping service
that's local.
Third party.
Anytime that happens,
I know I'm about to get kicked in the dick
for like a week.
For some reason,
the address didn't make it
from the first company to the second one,
which is,
I don't know how that happened.
So I had to give it to them.
Hey, where's this thing going?
And then I expected a phone call back Friday.
They didn't call me.
So I was like,
I'm going to get these fuckers on the horn.
So I tapped in with them.
It will be delivered tomorrow.
Okay.
Okay.
That's why Golden Tee arrives tomorrow, Dance.
Yeah, people could hear your shirt ruffling on the chair.
It'll be here tomorrow.
Between 8 and 5.
Do you have any front runners for what you're naming your Golden Tee adventure?
You don't have to say them, but do you have any front runners that you'd like to bring to the squad at a later meeting?
The best one in the subreddit is one we can't use because it's like Dorn specific.
The Dorn Ferry tour would have been fun, but it's like...
Dorn Ferry?
It's not about...
Dorn Ferry's good.
Dorn Ferry's good.
Big Will texted me. Me? Big Will. I'm Big Will the High Roller. The original Big Will texted me. fun but it's like don't it's not about fairies good um big will good big will text me me big
will i'm big will the high roller the original big will oh name dropping big will and he said
how about the spin zone it's like okay okay i don't dabble in spin i'm a no spin zone guy
well you're gonna have to spin that trackball well what if we just call it spinny boys tracking balls oh what fuck randy what if we just called
it washed live and didn't make it golden tea specific it's just all an all-encompassing
live show no i hate it no bro you just ruined fun week nope nope too broad fucking leaving
too broad i can't come up with anything too broad uh golden hour is one that's been thrown around a
little bit it could be an hour-long show that kind of makes sense i like golden hour is one that's been thrown around a little bit it could be an hour
long show that kind of makes sense i like golden hour i actually like golden hour i like it what
if we get the branding could be real nice around that you see casey's rocking bangs i'll be gone
of casey and jojo nope i did see that casey musgraves is rocking bangs and i don't i'm not a bangs guy typically uh i am now she bangs
she bangs she feels good i might grow bangs puts it up puts it in she looks good so when i got my
mullet done the other day she she uh before she sent me on my merry way uh she ruffled the the
hair in the front of my head and looks like so if you want to like get real mullity just go like this and put it down
oh god and i was like i was like i'm not doing that oh hey get this mark this flock of seagulls
oh dude that's kind of it kind of it kind of gives dirt bag yeah it gives euro dirt bag much more
yeah it gives like i'm gonna i'm gonna hit hit on your wife at the function.
What kind of function?
So you think because I get bangs, I turn in – you think Casey gets bangs and turns into like just –
Absolute sex bot.
Yeah.
She remains a 10 and then I get bangs and you turn me into an adulterer.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's fair.
I kind of get it.
Pretty much.
Like it kind of makes me look like trash.
The bangs mullet combo gives dirt bag.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
But you still look very handsome.
Kind of forget that I have it a lot.
I legit like the mullet.
Kind of forget that I have it.
There were times on Saturday when I was walking around my place with a bunch of people in
there when I would catch myself in a mirror, you know, see myself in a reflection of a
window and think, wow, there are numerous people in this room who probably want to talk
to me about why I have a mullet right now, but they can't.
I asked your mother what she thought about it.
And she just gave me like an evil, like glare.
She's like, you put them up to this.
I was like, she hates Dorn.
Yeah.
She's I'm not, I'm not her favorite at the moment.
She hates Dorn.
Yeah.
I told her she really wanted to do a bring back the forums bit when you
showed up, but I told her, please don't.
Dylan doesn't like that.
I appreciate it. Get enough of that from the people golden hour it's not bad maybe we can get uh casey
musgraves to record a little custo jingle for us what is she's got that golden hour i know she
might be a tough get i have an easier get who might be able to uh maybe give us some some audio that might fit the golden hour brand
is it artificial intelligence fuck no i am so sick of ai brett hey you know i love brett but i can't
i can't do the ai anymore i'm gonna give you a little something and you you pretend that you
are casey which is something i'm sure you do and you just kind of give us a little what it might look like okay got golden tea uh what dylan on the ball no
i don't have it this is terrible dude i'm not what was that i'm not a vocalist are you sure
okay we might just need to send the golden tea machine back after that that was ugly
hey randy can you remix that later? No. No way. Actually, no.
We actually now.
I've suddenly gone full circle in about five seconds,
and I'm now ready to remix this and make it the actual thing.
Okay.
Track ball is life.
Something could be done with that.
I think we need to talk to a certain Vineyard Nights creator, DJ Bean,
about maybe.
I feel like he's got something on the cutting room floor that can maybe fit the vibe.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, man.
Anyway, we got to make that happen.
Don't try to bury what you just did.
It was terrible.
No, but it could be self-deprecating fun in a way.
Self-deprecatingly fun.
Do you make at-home bing-bong every morning?
Yeah.
Not cold brew.
I did cold brew my own a couple weeks ago.
I've been doing something lately that I'm not happy about.
I've been making a cup of bing-bong in the morning,
but then I get so distracted with kid stuff
that I just find myself carrying the cup of coffee around all morning
and never actually taking a sip of it.
Just relocating a full cup of coffee to different parts of the place
and never doing it.
And I'm just, my coffee intake is trash right now.
You can't put coffee in a Yeti and roll into the office.
It's too hot and it remains too hot.
No.
I don't know how y'all do it.
Plus something with the metallic.
Yeah. No. It just, it alters the flavor. Yeah, it just it alters the flavor disagree no dave's cooking right now he's not dave didn't know hold up let me cook that's all i got dude there's something weird about sipping sipping
the bing bong out of the metallic cup it feels like a tin cup that like i was drinking coffee
from on the range or something like that tin cup good movie and by by range i don't mean driving range i mean you know the range rover the great western the open range yeah yeah yeah
i fixed my coffee issue at home my machine was
it was making like really bitter coffee i couldn't figure out what was going on
turns out it was my my creamer had gone.
It was just really bad creamer.
I'm not buying it again.
We've all been there.
It's like a coconut almond John,
and I'm never doing it again.
What are you doing with that shit?
I don't know.
Drink it black.
Dude, no.
I hate to say it.
You guys can...
Hey, Dave.
Is this your man card?
It's my man card, dude. I i'm gonna hold on to this and maybe
i'll give it back but i don't know i'm so out on those weird ass creamers just hit me with hit me
with some regular two percent dude half and half honestly two percent yeah no half and half yes
yeah like half and half is like it's it's what it's all you need but it's a lot yeah hey how
about that stussy shirt on our man's over here? Yeah, it's a John over here. Okay.
Yeah, I bought this shirt thinking that it was going to be a different material.
And then I did that thing that I do when I get something in the mail that's not what I wanted.
And I don't send it back and I keep it because I'm lazy.
Turns out it's just cotton.
Yeah.
Well, I thought it was going to be like a garment dyed John, a little thicker.
Okay.
I thought I could roll with the logo.
And I got it in the mail and it was just not the quality your boy was looking for.
I kind of fucks with it, though. It's a good shirt.
It's a good shirt.
It's a comfy shirt.
I wouldn't wear it in the office if I didn't like it in some form or fashion.
Sure.
Big stuff.
Big tings.
What are we doing tomorrow for Patreon?
We can either cold call people, or we can do exactly five minutes.
I think we should do exactly five minutes tomorrow, and then I think we should do cold call the or or we can do exactly five minutes i think we should do exactly five minutes
tomorrow and then i think we should do cold call the next week because i think we need to make some
edits to cold call to make it a more efficient show i'll fuck with it okay so let's do that
exactly five minutes beyond the paywall tomorrow next week we will do cold call i wish i had the I think we don't have video next Tuesday.
Why?
I'm not going to be here.
Find a way.
Are you leaving town on Thursday for a bachelor party and getting back Tuesday?
For the wedding, but it's my hometown
so I'm staying home and spending some time
with...
This weekend is Mother's Day, so I'll be back
next weekend.
Spend some time with the family.
Mother.
Randy, you're cleared.
You're cleared.
That might edit the plan.
Anyway, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast,
washed.substack.com, youtube.com slash circlingback
premieres every Monday and Wednesday, 2.30 central.
Let's do it.
And obviously, washedmedia.shop.
But without further ado,
it's time for this weekend
in fun.
Bro, let's go out this weekend.
There's a crazy event happening.
I like to turn up.
Bro, bro, bro.
There's a crazy event happening.
Let's just go have fun
and let go of it.
Let's go.
Jams. Glooping. Absol. Jams.
You're glooping.
Absolute jams.
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Dylan, what'd you get into this weekend? Thanks for asking, Will. I had a pretty eventful weekend.
I had a little guy Friday night. We kept it low key because we got up early for his baseball game. He had an early morning
baseball game on Saturday.
The kid's just hitting the cover off the ball right now.
I'm so proud of him.
His swing has come a long way.
Looking good.
They caught another dub.
Exciting game this time. Caught another
dub. They're just playoffs right around the corner.
They got two more regular season games left
and then playoffs. The team's looking good, looking good man oh he threw somebody out from right field
at first base oh that's swag slow ass base runner he got the ball oh shit i can make this throw
just fucking on a line i love when that happens in the majors nailed this guy
awesome he hit me up the other day and he was like do you got like a
hgh plug really why would he go to you of all people?
Well, I'm obviously not using my stash.
You got any leftovers like unused HGHs laying around?
Yeah.
Like I'm clearly not like, you know, using it all.
Yeah.
I gave him some Andro.
I had some Andro leftover from like 1999.
Yeah.
Probably not that potent anymore.
If he starts getting really bad like acne and stuff, it's probably not from puberty.
It's mostly from the supplements that Dave and I have been supplying him.
I don't mind what's going on here, but in the future, if you guys don't mind running
it by his father before you give my son-
It's called HIPAA, dude.
Before you give my son steroids.
I would appreciate it.
No.
Okay.
Snuck a little family time in after the game before the main event, which was the DeFries
Derby Party at the DeFries residence.
Hell of a time, man.
Good vibes over there.
Drinks were flowing.
Margaritas.
We got beers.
Micah on the margaritas.
I walked, I got out of the shower.
I was sweating from setting up the party.
So I was like, I'm going to rip a quick shower.
Got out of there.
I see Dylan just setting up a bounce house.
Micah's making batches of margaritas.
It was just, it was just an absolute movie.
What were the Johns that Sally was mixing up?
She was making Hugo Spritzes.
I had one.
Very good.
Yeah, it was dubbed the drink of the summer by many publications last summer.
What's in that?
Campari?
No.
She might have been making Campari Spritzes.
Was your drink red or clear?
Mine was clear.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, no.
It was St saint germain champagne
i think lime and soda water i don't really know delightful got some uh some nance time in
got to say hi to your mom it was a great time friends how'd your horse do
i lost 10 bucks which i'm okay with you know um dornick was my horse uh yeah when i still did not
win when i selected dornick i did not realize
that dornick was uh on the rail like dylan yeah he was hey a photo finish it was an exciting race
really if you're the trainer of one of the horses the second place horse and you know that you were
one head bob away from winning the kentucky derby like what does your day look like the next day
you just like, fuck.
You still showed.
By a nose, man.
I know, but you could have that.
That could be you.
That's just the way horse racing go.
Yeah, dude.
Inch by inch.
Played my Zod car later that night.
What?
Sunday.
Where's Zod from?
Pinehouse. Pinehouse.
I knew it.
God, you're so predictable. I got a $10 off from? Pine House. Pine House. I knew it. God, you're so predictable.
I got a $10 off coupon for Pine House.
I fucked up our pizza the other day
and they just gave us a $10 off thing.
I introduced Pine House to the lady friend
a couple months ago
and now she just wants to go all the time.
It's good.
She loves it.
So we go.
It's a good time.
I'm happy to be there.
It's a great spot.
Yeah, Sunday was just...
Took Stella on a long walk and just kind of chilled
and reset a little bit. It was great.
Great Sunday. How many steps did you get in?
We did about
three and a quarter miles on this particular
walk. Wow.
Pretty empty out there. The weather
wasn't fantastic.
No, man. May and
Austin is
quite the rainy month traditionally when i first moved down
here it rained for like 20 straight days i was like why did i move here this sucks i can't stand
the rain facts we kind of need that we need like a another major rain event no we don't for the
watershed yeah we gotta get the lakes are low the lakes are historically low
it's bad even though i don't go to the lakes just knowing that they're low kind of makes me sad yeah
brings you down a bit yeah freaking travis bro heck yeah man dude travis been down lately if i
bought prop out there that concludes my weekend in fun by by the way. Thank you for my time. Dude, I'm worried about Travis.
Friday.
You want to know about Friday?
Yeah.
Two game six wins, please.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't...
Don't do that voice, dude.
I don't know, man.
I'm jealous of you.
We did not get two.
But we got one.
I'm jealous of you.
Playoff Dave.
You're feasting right now. I'm fucking dying, dude.
No, stop.
I don't want to hear any complaints from anyone that lives in Dallas or supports Dallas teams.
When the schedule came out with all the late starts and stuff, I was like, shut up, everybody.
Dude, the overlap is crazy.
I have to watch all my teams be mega successful.
All my teams are in the playoffs and my baseball team just won the World Series.
Oh, we're having a generational one in Dallas.
Oh, my God.
Now I got to watch the second round of the playoffs.
Oh, did the boys do it?
Did the puck guys put the puck in the net?
They did.
Did you watch?
I watched the entire game yesterday.
Oh, man.
Eichel's got to be just kicking himself.
Yeah, he should have had that one, man.
Dallas plays a tough D, man. They're just relentless be just kicking himself. Yeah, he should have had that one, man. Dallas plays a tough D, man.
They're just relentless.
Smothering.
Yeah, they are.
The boys on the forecheck.
Are they D-ing down in Dallas?
They are.
That was our official song last year.
I mean, sometimes you just got to dump some pucks into the zone
and see what happens.
You ever dump the puck into the zone and just chase it?
Just put pucks on net.
Put them on net
yeah Friday
we were
you're juggling Mavs
you're juggling Stars
you get that
you get that Mavs dub
and
boy did that one feel good
that felt really really good
Clippers have kind of
had our number
the last few years
and
it was nice
it was nice to see
Stars did not
take it home Friday
but they took it home yesterday.
And that was nice.
And Saturday.
I was devastated when I turned on the TV for you.
Friday night?
No, on Saturday night.
And I was just like, because the game had not started yet,
but it was suggested to me on YouTube TV.
And I was like, a game seven on a Sunday night?
That's not what Davey needs right now.
It was a lot.
I mean, the last, when you're holding the lead and you're just every –
you're hanging on.
You're hanging on, man.
But good guys won.
I like the Knights, man.
They're really nice.
Did you happen to catch any of the – Pete DeBoer, the Stars coach,
he was formerly in Vegas.
They fired him for the cup run.
Anyway, there was some really nice back and forth with him and some of his old players. He was formerly in Vegas. They fired him for the cup run.
Anyway, there was some really nice back and forth with him and some of his old players.
And it kind of brought a nice little – nice feeling.
Yeah.
Mouth kisses or not?
Hit me right in the feels.
You understand what that means?
When you're grinded out for seven games like that and it ends, it's like, hey, man, respect.
That was tough.
That was a tough fight.
Hey, we're all just hockey players.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Well,
if I left a team or if I was like,
let go of a team,
I'd fucking hate everybody there.
I get it.
I would be too.
Wyatt Johnston,
that guy,
he annoys me.
He's fucking 20.
He's good.
He's a child.
He's good.
Brett and I saw him in a casino
a couple years ago
on Klein's bachelor party.
And dude,
we're just looking.
I'm like,
that kid, he looks like a high school kid,
which makes sense.
Should he be allowed in a casino?
Hard to say.
He was just walking through.
Get off the floor, sir.
I'm not an artist.
Can we see your ID, sir?
Oh, Saturday, man.
Boy, did we have a good time.
I had some cold beers.
I arrived to your party, Will, just with baby in hand.
Dave and baby Sam.
We get there talking to you and Dennis, Nick.
What?
Did you hit us with no red stripes?
You traded in the red stripe pack for the baby, I'm just realizing.
I did.
You talked a big red stripe game prior to this party.
If you read Washed Weekly, i haven't said as much and i didn't do it because when i left there
my plan was to go the only place i can find red stripe is total wine when i said byob it did not
mean baby no i'm just kidding i overbought on beers anyway so it didn't matter i had some beers
i didn't want to be like the guy
who's like sending someone to the store to go get more beer so i was like i'm just gonna buy a
million beers now we got some here yeah yeah i like having that option uh yeah i had a good time
i get there immediately i'm greeted by you and nick and uh talking sammy starts losing it bottle
time brought up a little formula bottle mixed it up
gave it to him right there on the couch micah kept me company dude i was kind of jealous i
walked up while you guys were both holding babies feeding them and i was like man this
couch is a vibe right now i kind of want to mob with these guys yeah it was a scene it was a scene
um i put down some bets brett i don't know if any of them i did he actually placed the bets
i don't think he did
because i didn't even do i need to have him on he left a little early dude he left like immediately
after taking my bet and i was like i don't think he like even places i texted him to clarify and
he didn't he was like oh you bet on uh forever young and the other one we need screenshots
and i was like i did not bet on the japanese horse that was micah so he did not whatever anyway japan you understand
yeah shogun goddamn sushi there's uh there was a lady talking about shogun with her physical
therapist today and i was just like i've never talked to her i've never talked to that physical
therapist i just wanted to jump in get in there dude i was over they would have loved it i was
working on my tater cuff you know doing, doing some, you know, that.
I just want what?
You know, I like that tater cuff.
Tater cuff.
You understand?
Yeah.
It took me a second, but yeah.
Oh, to be young.
Tater cuff.
Yeah.
That's a guy who doesn't have to worry about that shit.
You wrote tater cuff.
Yeah.
Got it.
See, yeah.
I was thinking potato.
I was trying to just jump in that bitch and be like, yo, what are we going to do about this boat?
He's not getting it back, is he?
He's just bringing such energy to the Shizu prophets.
Tornaga Sama does not like.
I need to finish it still.
Yeah, me too.
I really stalled out, unfortunately.
I'm on night three of watching Two Towers, and I still haven't finished it yet.
What the hell, dude?
Have they even approached Helms Deep?
How are you so bad at watching things?
It's long, and I get tired.
But you at least got to see the best part of the movie.
I watched the battle y'all were talking about.
No, no.
That's not the best part of the movie.
What is?
The nude scene.
Potatoes.
Potatoes.
I haven't seen a nude scene.
There's not one.
There's not one.
Oh.
Boil them, mash them, sick them.
You think this is The Great Outdoors starring John Candy and Dan Aykroyd?
There's no nude scenes in Lord of the Rings.
You can low-key almost see Gollum's crank.
Yeah, does Gollum not have a crank?
I like the way Gollum talks.
He tricks us.
Do your Gollum.
Go ahead. They tricks us.
That's not it. That's not that bad.
That's not that bad. That's not that bad.
I'm going to be Frodo.
Hey, what's up, man?
What are you doing?
Where are you taking us?
Where are you leading us?
I'm going to be Samwise.
Yeah, where the fuck are you taking us?
What's this all about, dude?
Wait, where is he taking us?
Where are you?
They got captured by those fuckers.
Who are they?
Who captured them?
Who? What? You captured them? Who?
What?
You're talking about Pharaoh and Sam?
Ned Stark's brother.
What's his name?
Boromir?
Boromir's brother.
R.I.P.
Oh, Faramir.
Faramir.
Faramir's got those fuckers right now.
Son of Gondor.
Gotcha.
Don't sell out on this movie.
It's okay.
Man, you might like it more if you didn't watch it over a two-week period i did i fall asleep watching i got my
eyes like i was doing the thing where you like you try to keep your eyes open they keep crashing
it's like i gotta turn i'm impressed you're even going back to the well like if i fall asleep in
a movie that's pretty much it 19 minutes left on the second on the second i promise there might be
something close to an explosion at some point. I don't need explosions, Dave.
Caterpillar singing ass.
They were never going to win that battle.
They were never going to.
Yeah, do you wish there were more Ferraris driving around in this?
They were just so outnumbered.
He needs more races.
Do you want like a jet going through, like having to fly through a hanger to like drop someone off and just keeps going and then explodes in the air oh the ants are on their way to help out the ants the tree the tree
shepherds of the forest they talk so slowly they're fucking trees like you should be impressed
they're even talking yeah you're lucky they even speak trees sounds like orc mischief to me dylan
yeah anyway i wouldn't trust him either the
battle's over and they're on their way it's like what are you doing you're too slow everything they
do is just too slow um just wait okay just wait they're gonna take on those fuckers without
before they even the elves even showed up with their with their bows and shit it's like where
y'all get you're outnumbered even with them like what y'all gonna do elves are nice with the bow huh you ever heard of the story david and goliath
yeah i mean they breached the cast they breached the walls and what was that about
they breached yeah so i had a huge weekend my mother came to town uh friday night your boy played a state card people are like what
will did you really order a ribeye at the restaurant you don't order ribeyes in public
will bone in or boat out bone out bone out hit him with that with that Asian marinated ribeye. It was absolutely delightful.
I have a slight issue.
There's this restaurant that Sally and I like to go to.
It's called Bartlett's.
It's pretty popular here in Austin.
They have an appetizer on the menu that's grilled artichokes.
Okay?
They have three appetizers on the menu.
Grilled artichokes, smoked salmon, and spinach artichoke dip.
Sally knows I love artichokes. I love, and spinach artichoke dip. Sally knows I love artichokes.
I love everything off the grill at this restaurant.
And she never wants to get the grilled artichoke.
And I'm like, what?
Can we just get it once just to see?
We just got to see.
Can't a player just get a grilled artichoke one time?
I like an artichoke.
You want to go to this restaurant with me and split an artichoke?
Maybe we can go in on the French dip together
if you want.
That thing's huge.
Sure.
Okay.
And you know what it is.
From there, I went home and went to bed.
Okay.
Had a big day ahead of me the next day.
Woke up, watched a lot of footy,
did some party preparations.
And yeah, we had a nice little shindig.
Thank you guys for showing up. It was fun. It was. I had a nice little shindig. Thank you guys for showing up.
It was fun.
It was.
I had the place cleaned so quickly after.
I vacuumed.
I did the floors.
I had everything done by like 8.30.
Went to bed.
Woke up the next morning.
Place was just so clean.
But yeah, I had to drop my mom off at the airport.
Never liked doing that.
It's just not a fun experience you know you know but
she had a spotless travel date which is all you can ask for um yesterday i went to the austin
record convention i hung out with a bunch of old dudes for about two hours um randy was supposed
to go with me and do a video but he had a country music festival the night before he was too hung
over yeah i didn't know and and i quote as i was leaving your party yeah
just text me if you're going not a single i did randy a favor i did randy a favor randy was dressed
straight up slutty for this concert randy randy was dressed like a straight up slut i like the
dress slutty what can you describe your fit for the concert maybe i should just wear it on Friday at the Muggsy thing for Chicago.
It was jeans, black jeans, black boots, my Muggsy light jacket, and a wife pleaser and a chain.
He hit him with a wife pleaser.
You're giving George Michael.
Yeah.
And his hair was extra coiffed, too.
It was a lot of coiffing.
But I could tell from just randy's vibe that there
was no point in texting him the next day uh and i'm glad i didn't because i from the sounds of
it today you said that you were pretty hungover yesterday so i did you a favor very yeah dave i
almost bought if you had if you had a record player i would have bought you the dude ranch
vinyl that i say you i thought you did buy i didn't buy it oh 40 bucks was a lot for a used
one i saw some other ones there that they
had like some old blink 182 ones that were like first edition very expensive and i was like man
i wish i still liked blink 182 enough to buy one of these i'm surprised maybe i need to sell some
records so maybe after i sell maybe maybe i'll use that money towards a uh a holy grail blink 182 one
yeah shut it down last night watched a little a little Dua Lipa SNL.
I dipped into that roast a little too late,
so I decided to punt it and watch it in its entirety at a different time.
But all in all, great weekend.
Great weekend.
Yesterday I ate more fajitas than anyone in Texas.
Leftovers?
Yeah, leftovers.
We had a ton of leftover fajitas, and yesterday I never ate a single meal.
I just had a container of fajitas that I i just uh i never ate a single meal i just had a container
of fajitas that i'd pull out of the fridge i would uh eat those cold and i would dip the fork into
the shredded cheese container and i would put that in my mouth and make a little mouth taco
you like a mouth taco dave he said he made the taco in his mouth what don't you understand
what do you call that mouth taco it's mouth taco why aren't you getting about this dave yeah
it's like because like normally with tacos you get a tortilla and you put the ingredients in
there but instead of a tortilla i use my mouth it sounds like it's a more of a bowl a mouth bowl
mouth taco no because it's giving bowl no one's eating it out of my mouth my mouth is
you didn't baby bird it? No one asked.
Okay.
I'm still having trouble.
It was just the glaring lack of tortilla.
You didn't line your gums with tortilla?
Maybe I didn't brush my teeth all day, so maybe I had some left over from the day before.
Did you at least take that fat ass hooter out of your mouth?
I brushed my teeth.
No, I like the juxtaposition of the hooter with the sautéed onions and bell peppers.
If it's a mango Hooter, you know, probably adds a nice little...
Yeah, it's a nice little flavor to it.
It's good.
It's good.
It's got a good aura.
You know what else has a good aura?
Aura frames.
That's true.
I sent a text to my mom the other day, and I said,
Mom, there's a package coming to the house.
You're going to know what it is the second you see the package.
It's a Mother's Day gift.
You can either save it for Mother's Day or you can just take it right out of the box.
She's probably listening right now, so I'm ruining this surprise here for her.
But yeah, it's an aura frame.
If you guys want to win Mother's Day and cement your reputation as the best gift giver in the family or even the best kid in the family,
give the moms in your life an aura digital picture frame preloaded with decades of family
photos or cars if you're just a real guy.
She'll love looking back on your childhood memories and seeing what you're up to today.
Even better, with unlimited storage and easy to use app, you can keep updating mom's frame
with new photos.
So it's a gift that keeps on giving.
I texted my sister.
I said, you want to go in on this Aura frame with me?
We can each have the app and we can each just put up photos of our kids all over the place.
All over it.
I truly don't think there's a better gift for Mother's Day out there right now.
There literally is not a better gift.
Yeah, it's perfect.
Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day.
Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame.
That's A-U-R-A frames.com.
Use code CIRCLING at checkout to save $30 off plus free shipping.
Did I use our code?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We've got some big segments ahead of us, boys.
This one's the biggest.
We teased it last week when we talked about tony p and uh jet wearing
the same shirt it's time though for the niche male internet celebrity draft here's what we're
going to do people we've all solidified our lists on our computers on our respective devices
and we're going to go through and we're going to draft niche male internet celebrities in the same
vein as your tony P's out there.
Your Davis Clarks.
People like that.
They're on the big board.
Oh, boy.
Mel Kuyper is just looking at it.
He's like, I don't know.
Oh, my God.
My board is bussing.
This draft has a much more loose, I guess, it has looser parameters to it.
Okay.
So if you guys want to veto any of my picks, I'll listen to it.
I think Randy maybe needs to be...
What are the stipulations here?
What do you have to be to fall under the category?
I think that you need to be famous for being more online than anything.
I think if you're famous for being an actor or a singer or a DJ or something like that,
that's your actual thing.
I think athletes out the window.
Yeah.
I almost feel like you have to be influencer adjacent or just like popular
online for reasons that have nothing to do with your actual profession.
But I also think this is a loose,
I think this is a loose,
a loose way of doing it.
How do we determine the draft order?
Randy, do something.
Do something.
You got that six-sided dice?
It's just a regular old six-sided die.
I think we usually do, we pick numbers here, I thought.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
The die is more for touching based.
You want me to pick a number?
Yeah, I'll pick a number one through 15.
How about that?
Cut.
Hold on, hold on. Let me write it down. And we'll just do branch out from the closest you can go over yeah okay okay what are you fucking doing all right i got it written down here
you just drew a bunch of circles i think all right i got mine one to what 15 15 all right let's do it one two three nine it was nine
wow this is a lot of dylan will dave a lot of dylan will dave i'm turning the brightness down
on my computer i want dave
screen looking at my my list of just dangerous nights i looked at your board earlier bitch
you're no dylan you're gonna try to you're gonna pick somebody who's like a
retired quarterback or some shit no y'all ready for my number one overall pick
bro let's go out this weekend.
Fuck!
Timon.
That's my dog.
I was kind of hoping you wouldn't remember Timon.
Timon's my dog.
Are you kidding?
Hey, I'm not online and I'm new here.
Who is Timon?
Yeah, Timon.
Thank you.
He's like, what is he?
An Eastern European influencer.
He's in very good shape.
I'm pretty sure he's not Eastern European.
Where is he from?
He's South African.
He's given South Africa.
Yeah, he's South African.
But his accent is pretty, it feels Nordic.
He was giving like, yeah.
He gives Nordic.
It says Thailand.
Okay.
That's not his.
I think it's South African.
But yeah, his accent definitely makes me feel like he's more Norwegian than anything.
And he just gives really fantastic life advice.
He's very motivational.
Dude, he's kind of nice with the Panama hat.
Pull up that Dylan hat. Dude, he mugged all over you with that panama hat player he's in phenomenal shape uh yeah he's not enticed by you know the vices of of the everyman he's like he's
above all that shit well he notes here i'm not some expert with a phd and i'm definitely not
elon musk so again why should i share story? Because I do know my story is relatable.
Timon's my dog.
He's the guy.
I just took him off my board.
That's tough.
It's all right.
Yep.
That's all right though.
I'm going to get two picks.
Yeah, I'm pretty jealous of your two picks.
I'd be remiss today if I didn't go with
who is number one on my board.
He's really the hottest thing going for me right now.
It's Tony P. It's tony p and dc i it's just tough because like with tony you get a lot
um you get his pre-furnished apartment um you get his really mediocre salmon recipes but you
also get vibrant masculinity okay i gotta admit i don't follow tony p tony p doesn't follow you masculinity. Okay.
I gotta admit, I don't follow Tony P.
Tony P doesn't follow you, dog.
I'm one of the few holdouts, I think.
He doesn't follow you.
He doesn't like you. That's true.
He probably thinks you have toxic masculinity.
His Mediterranean salmon recipe was just not good.
Dude, a little salt, a little pepper.
A little salt, a little pepper. I wish he'd tell us the story of sloppy joe we need to do a uh country music draft at some point but it's just it's just
instagram famous country musician like a cringe country music guys yeah i can't i don't even have
the repertoire look at tony look at the fucking... He's a squid.
Dude, I love when he goes like this.
What?
He's a squid.
Dude, he hits him with it, though.
Dude, he would beat the shit out of you. There's no...
Oh, come on.
You know he's like 6'5".
He might not beat the shit out of you.
One hand behind my back.
You're going to look over at some point, and your girl's going to be...
Her phone's going to be lit up late at night, and you're going to be like,
Just says Tony.
Is everything okay?
Do you have a family emergency? it's gonna be tony just sending
crank reveals please don't do that tony he does try to get him on the show and dylan's like oh
fuck him up he's a squid fuck this guy i didn't say that man kind of did champ here is really
going for in the comments here go ahead and read it tony i want you to rub paprika and cinnamon on me and then
spank me like a naughty little salmon filet that i am i also told my wife about us i love you
i'm surprised there's usually the top comments are when he's doing a crank reveal so
and to my knowledge he hasn't revealed his crank yet right no no i don't think so i think if he
if he did uh if he didn't only fans I might sign up for it just to support him financially,
but not watch it.
And not see any crank room.
More than a couple times.
Dave, you got two here, player.
No pressure.
This is kind of where the draft is won.
The third pick.
Give me Davis Clark.
Fuck.
Who's Davis Clark? coming day after day shits himself we are coming you will not find anyone you will not find a more locked in person on your big board than davis clark
to my knowledge he is the only person to have publicly shit himself on my big board
that hat has got to go.
It's got to find a trash can somewhere.
Here's the thing.
It's a really bad hat.
Dude, Fridays are for the heavy hitters.
I love the fact that his Instagram captions are just what he says in the video.
It's just his transcription.
It's good.
It's good.
It keeps it simple.
It took me a while to realize that he was just doing that.
But yeah, it's an efficiency play.
I'm so happy to have him on the squad.
I did not think he would be there at three.
This isn't even a good value pick.
This was the number one pick in a lot of people's mods.
He's no stranger to the selfie video move.
I'm pretty sure that's his entire record.
I think he gained like six figures on Instagram just from shitting himself during the marathon.
Gained me.
Yeah.
Like he used to have 500.
He's a capital management manager.
He's at 703K right now.
Dude, he manages capital at a management company.
He's a management manager.
Yeah.
He manages the management.
He manages the managers.
Oh, is it my pick?
Yeah. Are we snaking? we're snaking davey okay
so davis clark
will be joined by none other
nft nick i forgot about nft nick on my list fuck that's good this is about to be the most dialed board
you've ever seen he is uh dangerously close to the sun currently his 15 minutes is rapidly ending
well it's about to get extended by at least 10 because he's now on board wait that's how many
this is that's not his real account i don't know he's a twitter guy he's a twitter guy he's got 2 000 followers that's so soft he is a he is a stalwart in the nft crypto why is he
dumping sparkling water into a toilet it's probably very expensive champagne i think it's just a waste
of money uh private jets tanks bodyguards oh Oh, Pellegrino. Signature shades.
He's just using Pellegrino in his toilet.
That's baller.
That is baller.
When Nick Davis and I just kind of go into the conference room and shut the door,
just like, we got to start thinking of some shit.
We need some ideas.
We need more streams of income.
We got to bring some rev in.
It's going to be unstoppable.
You will not see a more dialeded in team than what we've got here
so this is gonna be good he he started off as the most annoying person on the internet then he just
leaned into the bit and he became self-aware and i actually do enjoy him now can you zoom in on his
face no no please don't please don't we're good come on we're good the smug face that he did while
he was in the helicopter That's his profile photo
It's so bad
Just zoom in on that face
That helly face
He paid the New York tour
Like that's the helicopter
It's part of a tour
It's not good
It is a bad day to be an op
That's all I'm saying
It's like when the Eagles discovered exercising those are two good picks
dave i'm pretty happy about it okay with my second pick i'm going with someone that i thought dave
was going to select uh the person that i'll be going with um he kind of kind of stumbled into
this it's jet yeah it's jet uh jet put up one of the worst videos i've ever seen recently
or she put it up on her page i forget which one it was uh but it was just like
it was one of the lowest forms of content that you could have had um it was just simply talking
about how he had gotten you know leather bound books the smell of mahogany that was definitely
on hers and that he does if you can make it through a cold plunge you can make it through the day like just stuff like that god and like he really plays well when
it's the videos with her and i think that's a beautiful thing i think she brings out the best
in him he's not a standalone content guy which is why he couldn't be in the first round see if it's
on her yeah he's kind of bad by the way oh pookie pookie hella bad like i yeah if you're not if
you're not impressed with what pookie'sokie hella bad like i yeah if you're not if you're not impressed
with what pookie's been doing then you've got a problem with yourself pookie has like 20 times
the following he has well yeah it's pookie it's pookie pookie they're married right the pookies
baby yeah i believe so yeah jet pocket what a name dude he's he's an alpha he's an alpha oh okay he's sure about okay all right yeah
you know he might just be good at spending his parents bad i can't tell bad play i don't want
to criticize your board yeah what the fuck that's not a good look what's your problem i apologize
you're right you're right all right it's my turn no pressure i got one that I'm guessing is on neither of your boards.
It's a young man.
His name is Nick Cassano, a.k.a. Nicky Cass.
You've seen this guy for sure on your Discover feed.
You've even served his reels. He does the Italian impressions.
Oh, yeah.
The Italian restaurant owner.
He does a lot of baseball
content he's really really good at it i've never seen this guy you had you haven't no you could
have had him in the fourth round as a junk pick i wouldn't have called anything is this like trey
kennedy so he does this please draft trey kennedy oh i'm not drafting i'm gonna i'm gonna draft him
just a guy stole a fucking wings there's no way I'm doing that
he's on the board
Randy you know this guy right
yeah he works with Roback too
he is a Roback
yeah sponsored
content creator
here's him
here's him with
Gary Vee
and Joe
from the Impactical Jokers
so he does
meeting of the titans
he does the best like
old Italian guy impression
you're ever gonna see
okay he's incredible okay maybe he gets a follow from your boy i'll at least give him a
scroll yeah he's good okay it's an okay pick i like it that's fine that's fine do i go ham check
here what do i do here with my you know i'm not taking ham check so it's just a matter of whether
or not you want dave to have two consecutive pigs i'm gonna go uh
i'm gonna go johnny ham check i don't even know how to spell this name i don't understand johnny
ham check it's just ham check first name johnny do you see he showed up to make the raw mcdonald's
recently i missed that one oh yeah he had to find out if which one balboni was running
interestingly you don't even know what Johnny Hamchick looks like.
He never posts himself on his page.
Just the strangers he interacts with and confuses the hell out of on a daily basis.
He showed up and he said they've been saving a McRib for him in the back.
This one?
He says he's got to bring that McRib to the other McDonald's that he's running.
Just that one.
Yeah.
He just goes around to,
we talked about him before,
he goes around to random people and just, he unloads this like fake,
these characters and this fake storyline.
They're just like, what?
And it's, he's an acquired taste.
I don't really like that you,
it's just not a good look to kind of mock and laugh
because he was addicted to cryptocurrency.
He was addicted to crypto.
He was smoking crypto. It's true. They extract that from the internet i got i got johnny ham check
okay wow what a pick yeah um okay you're not up oh you're not up my friend you're not up no i'm up
oh you know how snakes work dog i did i got three now they'd be going like this
come on dave they'd be going like this you're moving like snakes bro okay i did i got three now they'd be going like this come on dave they'd
be going like this you're moving like snakes bro okay i've only got two picks left my board is all
over the place i don't really know what to do about it um at this point i either want bruvs
who can you know drink and hang out pretty tough with me, or I just want like chill old dudes.
I've got so much talent on the board right now. I just see the clock ticking down. Um,
I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it.
I'm going Stratford Gerald. Oh, uh, Stford gerald's probably the most electric uh englishman on social media um he is an old man who gets fits off uh he's an old man who uh grows massive
vegetables uh he's just the guy uh he's got 310k like look at the drip on this dude are you kidding
me dude this is this is look how big those green beans are dog this is very well coated like what Uh, it's got 310 K. Like, look at the drip on this dude. Are you kidding me, dude?
This is, this is, look how big those green beans are dog.
This is very well-coated.
Like what?
Look how big that cauliflower is.
It's a big cauliflower.
Look at the fleece vibes on this guy.
He's got drip.
Keep scrolling down, Randy.
Show him the fleece.
I mean, he's color coordinating with the vegetables that he's picking.
Wow.
You don't see that anymore. Oh dude, look at that fleece. Dude, he's got a cabbage fleece. No's picking. Wow, you don't see that anywhere.
No, dude, look at that fleece.
Dude, he's got a cabbage fleece.
No one's doing that.
It's a fleece made out of cabbage.
Oh, my God.
I hate that.
So much.
Dude, he's dripping, Dave.
There's flood warnings all over Stratford whenever he posts videos.
Look at this guy.
You jealous?
A little bit.
He's doing big boy numbers, Dave.
I knew you were going to takefford gerald dave but i i nabbed him from you right away we had to take him off our board when you see an old man like this who's doing like
numbers on instagram and has like his brand dialed in you think there's a younger person
helping him with it like i like very ageist i'm not sure like there's part of me that just thinks
that he likes posting
photos online
and suddenly
it became a thing
and now he's just
doing it
but his wife
is probably helping out
some girth master
oh my god
that's some
Bob Steak and Chop House
yeah those are big boys
yeah Glazed
on the left is
Dylan
on the right is KJ
okay
Davey got two picks here
so who do we got we got NFT Nick we've got Davis Clark we're already pretty dialed AJ. Okay. Dave, you got two picks here.
So who do we got?
We got NFT Nick.
We've got Davis Clark.
We're already pretty dialed.
What can we do?
Your team is built.
What can we do to take this to the next level?
Well, it would be a real shame if we didn't add a little controversy into our draft room.
Somebody who has been under fire in the last year or two.
Someone who polarizing.
Of course, I'm talking about none other than the liver king.
That's good.
That is a good one.
We got the king.
That's good.
I didn't even have him on my list,
and that's probably the biggest omission I've had on my list thus far. He seems to have navigated the waters of being busted
for being on roughly $12,000 a month worth of steroids.
He's got to be back on, right?
Testosterone, HGH, things of that nature.
He's doubling down.
He's seemingly getting more ridiculous. his videos are harder to watch he's making worse noises he's grunting his um he's
disgusting his workout contraptions have gotten just bizarre they don't look particularly safe
his methods are questionable but the guy's still doing it is he not on instagram i'm having trouble
finding he's definitely i think instagram man. Is he not on Instagram? I'm having trouble finding him. He's definitely... I think the Instagram is on there.
He's probably shadow banned.
Because he promotes steroids.
Yeah, Randy's absolutely...
You're on the guy who's outing over here
trying to find him.
What is he holding in this picture?
No, not it, Randy.
That looks like a...
That's a liver, dude.
Looks like a...
From a dinosaur?
Elephant liver.
It's huge.
It's dinosaur liver.
What don't you understand?
Look, man.
He's a family man. He's doing it. What don't you understand? Look, man. He's a family man.
He's doing it.
He sells supplements.
He sleeps on a piece of wood.
He spends a fortune on Twitter promoting his crap.
Yeah.
Does that bum you out that he's so deep in the Twitter pay for play stuff?
It's forward thinking.
You got to spend money to make money.
Randy, why don't you look up uh liver king he was he was shadow band come to find out it's the liver king yeah uh let's see scrolled yeah he's just looking a little tough right his face has just
changed a lot since he stopped doing the unnatural stuff as much look at that squat i mean look he's
got the he's still doing it on the low right like he didn't give up cold turkey oh my god you don't do this shit oh he's got he's got bands helping him though
why does he have bands pulling and pushing he's getting extra tension well the bands make you
dance so he's getting 10 he's getting extra tension oh my god he's got more bands than you
jesus yeah i can't I can't squat that much.
So we've got Davis Clark locked in.
We've got NFT Nick just blowing the ops away.
And we've got the liver king just fueling it all with tea.
I get one more pick.
You do.
You do.
Don't botch it.
With the final pick in my draft, man, my board is still pretty open.
There's some heavy hitters on
here i'm thinking about that little conference room we're going to just go in there we're going
to shut the door and put on like a powerpoint presentation and just like talk about shit
think of ideas um
you just looked at my board yeah but you i know you have no picks out make the pick bitch i'm gonna pick
somebody who's got all his entire future ahead of him somebody we got to get younger at the
position somebody who is has uh no shortage of options going forward and of course i'm
talking about baby gronk well he rizzed upby Dunn. That's the worst pick of all time.
He's the new Rizz King.
He's not.
He recently just posted a graphic.
He has offers from every school you could imagine.
He doesn't.
Dave's smart.
Dave's smart here.
He's getting younger at the position.
He's setting himself up for just a generational team.
He's wearing Dallas jerseys.
His dad is so toxic.
Look at all these offers.
Those aren't offers.
Do you recognize any of these schools?
I see a Longhorn.
Alabama?
I see Georgia, Michigan, Florida State.
I mean, there's a – oh, look, Utah.
Shout out to the Utes.
Where's he even from?
This kid isn't going to sniff a college football field.
Why are you – why do you like punching down?
Why do you like making fun of kids so much?
His dad is in control of all this, and it's really good.
Well, I didn't draft his dad.
I drafted Baby Gronk.
They're a package deal, unfortunately.
Baby Gronk.
I mean, it's going to be so cool to have that youth perspective in our conference room.
He already committed to Texas and then decommitted.
I'm over him.
Well, I'm sorry.
Sark's not a good recruiter.
Can't hold him.
Maybe drop a bigger bag next time.
And you know what? That concludes my draft. I'm quite happy with it. A minus A. Top 30. My final pick is actually kind
of going in a different direction than Dave. I kind of wanted to go with someone who's done it before i kind of wanted to go with somebody who um can maybe mentor the younger
niche male internet celebrities um some might criticize me because this person is not really
currently in the game um and so for my final pick i'm going with roger dorn you got torn what you got dorn he was medically retired no i'm
getting roger dorn for my my niche male internet celebrity pick here i just i really wanted to just
get someone that i could trust i want someone in my corner um i know this so yeah dylan i'm the
captain now okay wow hey glad to be glad to be on board yeah
yeah it's not to be confused with ruger dirt where do i sign yeah no those are two different
people completely yeah i'm going with mr frat okay uh this guy's got a good aesthetic i mean
this this guy is frat look at look at him yeah that's frat that's more that's more like post
roger dorn though yeah oh you want dorn dorn yeah yeah i want to kick it back a little bit yeah Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's frat. That's more like post-Roger Dorn, though.
Yeah.
Oh, you want Dorn Dorn?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want to kick it back a little bit.
Yeah, yeah. You got to keep scrolling, dog.
Like, we got to go pre-changing the name on Instagram for who I'm drafting.
I'm not drafting some dude that eats like, you know, doesn't eat sugar.
Oh, look at those touching bass clips.
Oh, now we're talking.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a good one right there.
Now we're getting into the handsome guy.
Oh, dude.
That's a great video we made, by the way.
Yeah, it was one of our first ever forays into the-
Look at young Davey.
I know, dude.
Nice with it.
He's got the bing bong.
You were nice with it.
Maybe I should shave.
No.
Should I have drafted D-Man instead?
No.
Like, shit.
You don't want me in the locker room.
This is Little Dorn.
Oh, that's a
that's a classic right there look at all look at all the babes i just figured he can whip these
guys into shape i also think roger dorn and jet would get along really well because i think i
think jets probably looked up to roger dorn at one point you think so i do he you have to think
that he's read some of your columns yeah go to that one on the far left dave hates this one this
this is one of the more bizarre things ever been posted.
Why?
I don't know.
What did you do here? Dude, he's frat, dude.
I don't know.
He's hung over at work just sleeping in his compression shorts at his desk.
The filter on this is so unnecessary.
You went off, dude.
Was there no caption?
No caption.
No, we're not doing captions.
We're not doing captions today.
Yeah, I do no captions.
How is that still up?
I don't know.
This is electric dude good
job good job getting on my team yeah look at these i'll tell you who you beat out for the the final
pick on my team once you're done but i don't want to give you any talent right now i got a few good
ones i got six left on my seven left on my board i could pick from uh ranging anywhere from uh
micro celebrity big content guy up to salt bay and everyone in between i forgot about salt bay
how do you not get salt bay he doesn't talk dave's chow leader he salted your nachos he literally
doesn't speak sure he doesn't need to it's true he's pretty quiet in the locker room he's just
not what we're looking for he says plenty with with his antics uh i got x tyrone on here i got
ralph the baker i got a little sass on here
sass dude he doesn't miss i got cole campbell you gotta get cole
i might do cole yep i'm tempted to pick ralph the baker you know he is the cajun
i was gonna do chef reactions the cajun cook on instagram put him in there dude
i was thinking about it now i was gonna do Reactions with the dude that finds people on Google.
He's good.
You know who I'm talking about.
I was just watching
one of his
like this morning.
You see the guy
who finds the locations?
Yeah, that's him.
Oh, that's the guy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So good.
Yeah, he's weird.
How does he do that?
I don't know.
It's amazing.
I'm going to go with Cole Campbell.
You have to.
You have to.
Yeah, he belongs on my team.
It only makes sense.
That's my guy.
People I had on my list.
Derek Guy.
I didn't think he really counted, though.
We don't even know what he looks like.
That's too much pressure.
I had Big Content Guy.
Chef Reactions.
Rusty Ranks Beers.
Cam Edwards.
Oh, yeah.
Office Manager Brett.
I didn't think about him.
I had Manolo.
If I wanted to go golf with it.
Oh, that's a good one. I forgot about that guy. I'm worried about him i had manolo if i wanted to go golf with it oh that's a good one cole campbell okay i'm worried about cole campbell man yeah i get it i had goggins montana boys huberman card magic by jason and cam edward
this kind of shows like what like like weird side interests that we have that like i never
knew that you guys like i didn't know dave was following card trick dudes but i i could see dave getting into card he's fucking he's really
impressive you got to got nikki cast okay okay if you took him second then i'll listen but right now
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Dave, this says you're...
Busting?
What?
Is that what this is?
Oh, yeah. What?
I feel like we have not talked about the dave and buster's
potential uh in-game betting i don't understand i don't think i've fully understand the the scope
of what they're offering they're about to have me on the hook i'm gonna be there every weekend
i already love dave and buster's it's a great spot but if they're really going to add this the uh strategic
partnership integrating lucra their proprietary gamification software into the dave and busters
app allowing loyalty members to digitally compete with each other i'm fucking in for real money
yeah like how do you win the money, though?
Like, there's no odds set for, like, oh, Dylan's, he's an absolute fucking weapon in skeeball.
Is it?
God, I suck at skeeball.
Is it a bit irresponsible to introduce gambling to a place that's known to attract a lot of children?
I was wondering that.
Like, I know you can drink and stuff at Dave & Buster's, so it's kind of like the adult chucky cheese but like kids still go there right parks loves nf confession
i've never been to a dave and buster's before they're lit they're lit i mean how have you never
been i don't know it seems like your home base it's a big mess do they do we have one in austin
two oh there's a new one south but there's one um up like 183 in Mopac. Would it be a good place for a bill reveal party?
Sure.
Okay.
We would have some fun.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, dude, Dave & Buster's goes.
It's fun.
If you were in Dave & Buster's and you were trying to just like,
you're Chris Moneymaker entering a casino and you're going to go sit down
and just run some dudes at the poker table,
what's your game of choice that you're going to go win on i'm wondering which games this is enabled for
like hungry hippos like can you all put in ten dollars for a hungry hippos game and just go off
and transfer the money back to you like i don't get like i don't know if that's how it works i'm
kind of in on it you know i have a nice j better than yours no i think i would absolutely beat you
in a uh popa-shot tournament.
I'm really bad at pop-a-shots, so that makes sense, yeah.
Yeah.
That's why I said it.
Right.
They're very careful not to call it betting.
Of course.
Well, yeah.
I mean.
What about in Texas where gambling is famously illegal?
Well, that's the issue.
It's more of a real money contest or challenge.
Okay.
Oh.
Only available to adults.
They want to cut instead of us just going to Brett and Venmoing him money for bets that he doesn't play with us.
They want to cut.
Exactly.
That's exactly right.
Patrons will soon be able to place a $5 wager via Dave and Buster's mobile app on the Chains Hot Shots basketball game and skeeball competition among other arcade games the papa
shot thing sounds really fun i think that would be the most out of control one i think people
people would be going real hard on the papa shot trying to do that because people already try to
go after the records on papa shot going after money against your boys by the way
the golden team machine you can not exactly wager,
but you can win cash through the machine from other people.
Are you going to live on this machine?
If I'm you, I just burped.
If I'm you, I'm just living on this machine.
I can play in tournaments straight from here via the miracle of the internet,
and it's for cash prizes and shit. It's crazy. have golden tea at dave and buster's i don't think so i kind of
want you to be a ringer at dave and buster's just playing golden tea crushing beers could you look
up i want you to play jeff ross by the end of it come on could you look up and see which bars in
austin have golden tea?
Like they should have like a...
I don't know if that's a
feature anywhere.
Like the app in New York
where you can find bathrooms?
Yeah, that's a great app.
You just have golden teas?
I think you could like
actually like
make a lot of money.
It's possible.
We'll see how it goes.
What if you choke?
I got to get the dust off, man.
I've got to get reps in big time.
When that thing arrives here, I'm going to spend hours on it.
I'm going to stay after work.
Just like hitting the range.
I think you should be live streaming all the hours that you're spending on it,
even if you're not playing official games.
I think you've got to build the audience
and then enter the first tournament and just have people going wild.
Yeah.
They need to be there for the good and the bad.
We'll see about it.
Should we have Brett stand behind you during the tournaments and holding up a quiet sign?
Yeah.
I want the camera view to show not just me at the thing but like the couch behind and you idiots
sitting behind me and shit you know we do that randy we could do something like that
you know figure it out have some fun find a way
okay i think we can probably find a way to yeah you know a live video of something in the office
ready working on some graphics with ricky and uh former intern brando so golden hour i'll be your golden hour that's good dave you've been a long time supporter
of christy noam noam how do you say her name you know how to say it right i don't know she killed
her dog you guys ever kill a dog before she She did. I've never killed a dog before.
Not me.
I haven't either.
Apparently her hunting dog was a little vicious towards some other dogs and she killed it
at 14 months old.
I think it's more to it than that.
Yeah.
I think it went after an entire chicken coop.
Okay.
Okay.
Well now, you know, because she's now being, you know, kind of slated as not being Trump's
VP selection, she's kind of pointingated as not being Trump's VP selection.
She's kind of pointing the finger at some other celebrities and politicians who maybe have treated dogs poorly in the past.
And a noted major player on this podcast in the past, Mitt Romney, is just catching strays.
And now he's having to explain himself, Dave.
Have you seen this?
I did not know Mitt was involved. Mitt's involved now because he famously went on a road trip and strapped his dog's crate to the top of the car and drove with the dog correct i did hear that um when uh good
not a good look when she uh insulted him about it uh he said i didn't eat my dog i didn't shoot my
dog i loved my dog and my dog loved me holy shit did she eat the dog no did she eat the she didn't
eat the dog right no i mean i no no i to my to my
knowledge and i didn't look too much into this she had a dog was supposed to be a bird dog it
did not haunt it was 14 months old it was aggressive towards it got out of her vehicle or
truck went after a chicken coop killed some chickens she may have came back and said it
was aggressive towards her kids she She executed the dog herself.
To which people are, people are, it's a two-pronged approach on the criticism.
It's one, you just, why didn't you just rehome the dog?
You know, you don't really need to just execute a dog because it's not a good bird dog.
And two, is it weird that she did the putting the dog down herself?
That's not that crazy in the country.
Country, but when it comes down to like it's time, end of life for your dog, it's not that wild, I don't think, to do it yourself.
I'm not built that way.
It's just normally end of life isn't 14 months.
You got to rehome the dog.
Well, there's the lady who hosts the Great British Bacon Show, one of the judges.
She wrote in her autobiography that she drowned some puppies. Oh that who that was yeah i was about that prue when when she was like a kid yeah
she was a kid i was like what don't write that in your biography you don't have to tell everything
just like suppress that like normal people do yeah like to christy noam i don't know what her
her ambition is i'm assuming if she was on the list for VP, very high ambitions.
Maybe just don't include that part because people are pretty sensitive about dogs.
So maybe just leave that whole thing out.
She was using it.
She wasn't even trying to stunt with it.
She was trying to make a comparison.
I don't know.
She was using it like, oh, and this is very comparable to where we're at now with this situation.
It turns out it kind of backfired. And now you get dragged mitt into it she also killed a goat at the same
time she had a taste for blood that day why'd she kill the goat uh per this article it says uh she
killed the goat in the same gravel pit as the dog because the goat smelled bad and was aggressive
because it had not been castrated you could just castrate it right smelled bad like isn't it it's
a goat yeah they're not supposed to you don't keep them in the living room they're goats yeah also like i don't
know rosie at 14 months she's a bird dog like she would absolutely have gone in and raised hell
hell in that chicken coop and i would have been like yeah i probably should have brought my my
wild dog to a chicken coop yeah i feel like 14 months isn't really enough to know whether the
the dog's gonna end up being like a good dog or not yeah it sounds like you're just like a not
capable dog owner i'll go ahead and put that out there speaking of not capable dog owners i forgot
to mention this earlier stella was bit the other day on the trail by a pit bull really yeah how'd
that go um luckily so we were walking along the trail, and it was through, like,
Auditorium Shores area where this part is not technically, like,
an off-leash area.
His family had a picnic.
There were, like, seven adults there, two dogs.
One was a chocolate lab.
One was a pit bull.
They were both off-leash.
Stella and I are walking right by on the trail.
She has a leash. and these two dogs come up
well the the chocolate lab approach first very friendly dog obviously and then the pit bull
starts to make its way over and all the adults immediately go no no no no come back come back
I'm like oh shit here we go yeah that's not what you want walks up to Stella lunges and bites bites
down on her ear and I just jerk her away as fast as i could and they're like
they run over and get the dog they're like i'm so sorry you gotta be careful if that starts
happening because you might start getting the smoke like okay the reaction from the adults
immediately lets me know that this dog has is known to be aggressive yeah because they knew
that this is like trouble was about to happen why is your fucking dog off leash in a public park
when you know it's aggressive toward other dogs what are you doing did it break skin no i got away real fast and and this dog listened
to them and ran back over very clearly a pit bull by the way i don't hear this like oh and the you
mistaken identity no it was a pit bull i just don't get it was he playing a show at auditorium
shores that night all right all right sound check
there you go what is happening they they said i'm they said i'm really sorry i put my hands up like
no yeah what are we doing so like i can i would always let rosie out at a park near us that was
not an off-leash park but there were very rarely any other dogs there and i assumed if people
brought their dog there that it would be friendly enough to you know be around rosie and i never
judged anyone if they told me hey my dog's
aggressive so you might want to put your dog on leash i i really respected the people that would
just outright say that but like never was people with aggressive dogs letting them out at the dog
park it's just a miserable situation liability it's a miserable situation okay she's okay yeah
a little freaked out skin she was she tucked her tail for about 30 seconds and she would start to
wag it again she She's fine.
Like she's not hurt.
Come on.
But it really bothered me.
Damn, she low-key ate that.
Yeah.
Luckily, the dog let go and retreated.
I forgot Mitt put it on top of the car.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't put your dog on top of the car.
Was he kind of like – you know, people kind of forgot about that.
Yeah, hey, yeah, yeah.
I blew out the candles on the cake individually so people forget about the dog thing and now you're bringing the
dog thing back up it's a long time ago we're not we're not running for president again let's just
make kind of a sick name it's a good how is there no mitt out there like i don't know any little
kids they make because now you can't do it because it's like oh you're a big mitt romney i think well
no i just kind of thought the name was cool yeah cool. Yeah, he's a tame politician to be like, you know,
if you're going to use that, like, it's not like it's, I don't know.
Shout out to Bain Capital.
You're not calling him Newt.
It's not a...
Newt.
Yeah, it's my boy Newt.
I could see Randy having the nickname Newt back in the day.
He's the party Newt.
She turned me into a Newt.
What's that from?
My Python Holy Grail.
Never seen it.
Really?
Yeah.
I would like to one day.
Do you want me to watch it?
It's not my favorite, but a lot of people like it.
It doesn't have your stamp of approval?
He didn't.
Why did she have to describe the gravel pit that she did the execution?
She's a Wu-Tang a fan keep that information to yourself like just i mean first of all don't put that in the book
second of all like gravel pit just sounds like so it's tight fucking villainous no we we had a we
had our prime sledding area when we were little kids was called the gravel pit
and i always felt tight saying i'm going to the gravel pit.
Gravel pit.
Dude, it's a pit full of gravel.
It's also a sick Wu-Tang song.
A goat.
So you're saying the gravel pit
doesn't have your stamp of approval?
He's doing it again.
Dude, he did it.
It's a double segue.
Dude, he did it.
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we ain't doing no dave matthews right now there is no space between wow okay okay this guy you
can toss it to randy he's got a lot of good things to say about stamps as he recently used it he loves
randy's just collecting stamps i can see randy going down to stamp i can see him inheriting
some stamps from like someone and then just like going all in on stamp collecting i got too many
other collections as it is and hobbies oh okay but stamps.com use it so some vultures got drunk during the eclipse.
On a Monday?
You ever gotten hammered with a vulture?
Explain.
Hold on.
Hold on.
What's going on here?
No, I have not.
I have not.
NF, dude.
I got faded with some crackles the other day on Randy's porch.
I do have two.
Greg and George.
Greg's a menace.
Okay, so are they a couple?
No, they're two dudes.
Okay, I mean... Are they a couple already?
I don't know.
I don't know how they swing.
Yeah, during...
I think during the eclipse,
these vultures got drunk
by doing some dumpster diving.
It says,
perhaps these solar eclipse spectators
had a little bit too much fun preparing for the event. Two black vultures found drunk inside of a dumpster diving. It says, perhaps these solar eclipse spectators had a little bit too much fun
preparing for the event.
Two black vultures found drunk
inside of a dumpster
in Waterton, Connecticut.
Maybe they were getting
their COVID vaccinations
in that dumpster that Dylan used.
What does the eclipse have to do with it?
Is that when they do their...
I think that's just the day
that they did it.
Birds be crazy.
I think they found these birds
hammered on the side of a dumpster
and they couldn't fly.
They said they were just
in and out of consciousness.
That's frat, that's sick is that like if you feed a seagull uh alka-seltzer it explodes i don't think that actually happens by the way i don't know i don't
want to find out but i saw my stepbrother try to do it one time and i saw the thing swallow it and
we were like oh my god he did it and then it just flew off and it was fine maybe it's a delayed effect i don't know yeah i think probably exploded you think so i don't know i
think it's an old wives tale what the alka-seltzer yeah let's find out they think these things got
drunk from not drinking like alcohol but from fermented berries that have been sitting in the
dumpster for a while oh randy should we low-key do that talk to this guy they eat mead basically
is that what you do i mean you ferment you ferment the honey, not the meads.
Oh, they really don't explode.
Cool.
That's good news.
I think it can explode their stomach, but they don't actually explode.
I think they just burp a lot.
No, I think it can actually kill them, though.
Way to go, dude.
I don't think birds can burp.
I learned that from the Jimmy Neutron movie.
Spoiler alert, that's how they defeated the giant chicken at the end.
What the fuck, dude?
I was going to watch that literally tonight.
Yeah, you had that queued up after Lord of the Rings, right?
Dude, what's your problem?
I'm sorry.
They interviewed the vultures the next day after this happened,
and they were just in goblin mode.
Really?
Yeah. Dude, I'm so
hungover. Can you bring me
some roadkill?
I'm so hungry right now.
Roadkill.
Can you bring me a carcass of an
armadillo that I can pick out right now?
That's gotta be a bottom five carcass.
Armadillos are gross, man. No, I just want something crunchy
and salty. Are they the ones that can't see are they blind uh
i'm legally legally i'm legally blind you know and over the years there's been a persistent and
rather macabre urban myth circulating that gulls will explode if they're fed alka-seltzer yeah
yeah we learned by experimentation not we i didn't do it y'all never caught a seagull
no he took he took some bread
you're not built like that he had a couple good moves he basically like put out some bread like
made a ball and they were hanging above our boat and he just threw it up and it caught it swallowed
it and flew off we're like oh no they should they just murdered that bird i think oh you can give
them you can give them uh um x-ax and it'll just make them shit.
Well, yeah, I would imagine.
That's what it does.
You see the video of those shithead kids?
Yes, dude.
Like the seagulls terrorized a beach just shitting all over the beach.
Did someone give them X-Lax?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They gave them a ton.
Yeah.
These teenage kids, there's like four of them.
They send them like a bunch of X-Lax out there.
And then 20 minutes later, you just see all the people running off the beach because the
birds are just shitting.
How do they get them to eat the X-Lax?
I think bread.
Bread or cheese or something like that.
Yeah, they just put it in food.
That's fucked up, man.
I told y'all, we used to just put half of a sandwich on our stomach and cover ourselves
with a towel and just have a seagull roll up and eat it.
And then just catch them in the towel.
I don't think you got to use half a sandwich
to pull that prank off.
No?
Maybe like a chip.
No, it got to be half a sandwich.
Half a sandwich.
That's a lot of food.
Half a sandwich.
How you do it, dude?
Just half.
Fucking seagulls, man.
Cut triangle.
You probably cut square.
You see that dude who cut his sandwich a weird way
and the internet's freaking out over it
yeah it was just like uh it was fun yeah i kind of liked it wasn't like crazy i kind of liked it
i bet the sandwich tastes the same that way i like i like cutting sandwiches how do you cut
your hot dogs do you cut them diagonal or long way sometimes i do a little in between
yeah no one's doing that sometimes i do a little in between. Yeah.
No one's doing that.
Sometimes I do a little in between.
No one is doing that.
I had a...
I don't like it to be an exact diagonal.
I like to be rounded a little bit.
Every morning for Proxy's lunch,
I cut the crust off
and then I cut it long way when I'm finished.
So you're eating trapezoids?
Not triangles?
I don't know what a trapezoid looks like
off the top of my head.
I'm not doing math right now. Maybe,'ve already told you i in in my 10th grade geometry final i copied every
single answer off of the girl next to me yeah take me away
vultures are fucking nasty little fuckers. Yeah, dude. You guys ever seen Jungle Book?
Necessary, though.
Those little fucks are pretty mischievous.
For the ecosystem.
I respect vultures.
Yeah.
You gotta get it.
Why do they only fuck with dead things?
I don't know.
Like rotting.
They're on that necrogrind.
They're twisted, bro.
Dude, they're freaking freaked up.
It's twisted.
I mean, dude, seriously.
Yeah, I hear you, man. Can I give a shout out toward the end of the show today yeah sure i'd like to give a shout out uh
to the uh backer that i met at matt's all rancho uh at lunch on saturday um he approached our table
very respectfully uh wearing a wilmots polo it's the first one i've seen in the wild it's awesome
i'm embarrassed that i locked eyes with this guy
when I walked in
and didn't realize that he had the Wilmots polo on.
You think he used promo code WASHED20
for 20% off?
He probably did.
Sure.
His wife,
she started off the conversation
and she noted that she was a
day one Hundo P. Toucher.
Wow.
That's huge.
You love to see that. He also had a master's hat on
so you know that our listeners are frat this guy was frat as hell wasn't he and it wasn't it wasn't
the normal master's logo it was the one that you can only get when you go to the members
oh section very frat oh very frat this guy's frat frat uh facetime with Flounder the other day. How'd that go? He's in Florida.
He was there doing a fishing tournament, I assume.
And he said he had some guys, some listeners come up to him at the bar.
Imagine seeing, you're just at a bar in Florida and you see Clay.
You got to go up to him.
You have to.
I get it.
Yeah.
I'd reach out and touch Clay.
Hey, man.
Don't touch Clay if you meet him.
Good luck in your tournament.
Unless you just shake hands, you know? Yeah. Unless he wants you to. Then, man. Don't touch clay if you meet him. Good luck in your tournament. Just shake hands, you know?
Yeah.
Unless he wants you to.
Then do it.
Yeah.
He might.
You can put a hand on the shoulder.
He might.
Okay.
Let's get out of here, boys.
Ooh, long one today, huh?
I want you to make sure that if this golden tea machine is not here tomorrow, I'm going
to be very upset.
So just let this shitty company know.
I will also be very upset.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Bye.