Circling Back - The Washed Media Quarantine Challenge
Episode Date: April 8, 2020Pandas in captivity finally mated after ten years of trying, we go through the subreddit-created Washed Media Quarantine Challenge, take a walk down Masters Memory Lane, and This Weekend in Quarantine.... Note: We had slight audio issues in the beginning of today's episode, but hopefully things get better after about six minutes. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (11:01) Pandas Finally Mate After A Decade (23:31) Washed Media Quarantine Challenge (41:55) Hypothetical Picks & Masters Memories (52:25) This Weekend In Quarantine --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from our homes. My name is Will DeFries somewhere Dave Roth.
Hey, I'm here. What's up? How you doing?
I was a D-man today.
We ordered coffee from a local coffee distributor to be directly shipped to our house because,
you know, in these uncertain times, you don't want to be getting out as often as you used
to.
And I ended up getting suckered into doing the subscribe.
So I get the monthly.
It's like $0.50 cheaper or monthly. It's like 50 cents cheaper or something.
It's negligible at best.
Why don't you just do what I did
and just steal all the remaining coffee from the lodge
before you went back to your house?
You dirty, rotten scoundrel.
I did too, by the way.
I have so much coffee.
I just stole it from the lodge.
You're just a thieving ass.
Dude, you can't let these grounds go to waste.
Yeah, dude.
Dylan Chivry up top, he told me to.
You were like, yeah, fuck it.
We'll replace it.
I forgot Parks is in the house.
I can't say stuff like that.
I got news for you, cowboy.
I paid for it on a company card.
You should.
What? I'm just the only one out here with no it on a company card. You should. What? I'm just the only
one out here with no coffee and no
company card. Okay.
Have fun drinking water.
Yeah. Okay.
Dret Merriam, a noted water guy.
Mark just said from the other room that he's in watching TV,
he said, Daddy, you can't say that word.
I'm interested.
He's probably killing hookers on GTA right now.
Buddy, I'm working.
Buddy.
Is there any blowback from you yelling, Buddy, I'm working yesterday?
No, he's pretty chill, man.
He knows the deal.
He knows he can't talk to me when I'm plugged in.
Imagine not being optimized and having no clue what we're talking about.
Yeah, seriously.
Can't do it.
Dude, what a triple dipper yesterday.
What a day for just content overall yesterday.
Such a wholesome interaction that was with me and the little guy.
But yeah, the content yesterday.
My gosh.
Triple dipper.
We had a worst weekend story.
Spooky season return.
We even did some voicemails.
And then last night, we had just an all-time happy hour at youtube.com slash C slash Wash Media.
I think C stands for channel, but
you may never know.
I was taking a look around the YouTube,
the landscape. Everybody's got the C.
Oh, yeah.
We're okay.
Trying to see.
Dave, come on, man.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Hey, did y'all go to another bar after I left?
Yeah.
Randy and I did, but...
Will and I went to Wilmont's for a little bit.
It was pretty dope.
We were at Wilmont's.
Oh, I didn't see y'all.
I mean, we were in the back, so...
Were you guys in the hammocks,
or were you from the surfboard swings?
No, it was the tables you have set up to the left of the shuffleboard court.
Nobody really out there.
The one by the bocce?
No, other side.
There's so much going on at Wilmot's, man.
I don't know who – whoever the dude is on Reddit who posted like every single part of the bit.
It made me so happy because I didn't even remember half the shit.
I didn't remember fish tacos spelled like PH.
But that's rude.
You can also get your bucket hats at washmedia.com.
The girl who runs the merch counter there is a smoke, by the way.
Yeah.
Hey, take it easy.
That's inappropriate, Brett.
She's a nice gal, okay?
Will, don't say anything.
What?
That'll look weird if you say something.
I'm just saying.
She used to be Ariel at Disney World.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wilmont truly has it all.
Yeah, we had to recruit her.
You know what it is.
The person who said dan looks
like a wilmont's kitchen staff employee was that was spot on and yeah i'm gonna say so from last
night's live happy hour what were some of the best comments about dan because that was by far
the most entertaining part for me just reading what dan looking like joe exotic's next husband
was just classic that was a great one and And also someone said that Randy looked like the after pic of Dan.
That was a funny one too.
I still don't understand what that means.
It was just so stupid and funny.
Oh, it's good.
After what?
After quarantine?
I think just like, you know, you see commercials of like before using their product and like after using their product and it's night and day difference.
Yeah.
They're saying he looks like an upgraded version
of Dan, basically.
Come on, you can't do Dan like that.
Dan looks great.
Dan's like 6'2 or 6'1.
Something about Dan.
Dan definitely did pyramid schemes
in high school, too.
I like that one.
Hey, Brett, I got breaking news.
Your email just came through.
I was very concerned.
I'm sending emails out.
You guys were like, I didn't get it yet.
And they were sending.
So I was like, well, I was sending emails to ad results
at our agencies this morning, and people were just not getting them.
So, yeah, Dan was probably the MVP last night.
He definitely came to the show.
He was there for about 45 minutes and it was well-deserved.
I found Dan to be very entertaining last night.
I mean, anytime you, you know, while everyone's drinking wine or one cocktail or a beer and you bring in a bottle of Jim Beam or whatever, and you're
drinking it straight from said bottle,
that's going to get you a lot of MVP votes.
Was it true
that it was a plastic bottle?
No, you can't do plastic bottles.
That's too low.
He also committed
to doing the Combat
Sports Minute with Dave, which is big time
since that's the only sport we'll have to watch the uh the combat sports minute with dave which is big time since that's the only
sport we'll have to watch here in the that might be the most the most what if that becomes like
our biggest podcast i'm all for it i'm still confused by the island scenario but it's it's
happening i watched i watched an interview this morning with dana white and like
i thought this is just one of those things that you just throw it out there
and say, okay.
But it's apparently legit.
I guess they bring the fighters out there a few weeks before
to kind of quarantine and train before the fight,
and there you have it.
Yeah, okay.
So they're going to have to quarantine people beforehand one case of
coronavirus ruins this entire plan doesn't it yes yeah so like is it worth the risk of buying a
fucking island uh if it works it sends them into the next into the next tier because it's but i
don't know i mean that's that's the question. I just feel like this is destined to,
there's something bad is going to happen and I don't know what it's going to
be,
but I feel like we're going to see a 30 for 30 on this in 20 years.
As long as we're there to cover it via podcast.
I don't care.
Yeah.
As long as we can leave our place,
then that's fine by me.
I'm,
I'm honestly looking forward to like,
cause I know you guys are not,
y'all are into the big fight cards.
Y'all know the big fighters,
but some of the lesser known ones,
I'm looking forward to me getting to try to sell y'all
on why you should care about this fight
other than the fact that there's nothing else on TV.
Are they going to be wrapped in plastic wrap or anything?
Are these going to be out there
exchanging bodily fluids and mixing it up
like they usually do? You know big uh balls that you can get inside and like
hamster ball that's actually how they're gonna fight okay she's got to push the other one out
of the ring uh-huh it's like a sumo fight okay it's like on super mario where they had the
platform and then the platform was tipping into lava. And one of them was on the slope.
And so you had to like bounce them off.
The floor is lava.
Dave,
I don't need to be sold on UFC necessarily.
I feel like I,
I feel like I have enough information in me to like,
you know,
proceed with watching it.
Yeah,
no,
for sure.
But like some of like the lesser known ones,
I don't know.
I think it'll be fun. Well, are the lesser known ones i don't know i think it'll be fun well
are they going to i don't know i'm just very confused by how this is all going to pan out
in the timeline of this do we have a location on the island oh will will broke it last night
yes uh epstein's island uh okay it's gonna be actually in in the temple so that's just gonna be cheap at this point right
the creepy piano temple yeah and the windows are gonna be all uh blacked out with cardboard like
the when the fbi went and raided it but i put quotes up the creepy thing is like if you have
a piano room on a cliff on an island, like surrounded by ocean,
like,
shouldn't that just be made of glass?
It makes no sense that it would look like some kind of like weird.
Well,
I don't know. We don't need to go into Epstein theories right now,
but no one's talking about Epstein anymore.
Yeah.
The best thing to happen to him was a global pandemic.
Actually,
Harvey Weinstein kind of like,
he kind of slid under the radar.
Like now didn't he get Corona slid under the radar now.
Didn't he get Corona?
Yeah, he has Corona.
Oh, I didn't know if that was a rumor or not.
I remember when that news dropped and being like, you know.
Oh, it could be a rumor.
I don't know.
I didn't see any confirmation either way.
But yeah, that's the story is that he got Corona while in prison.
Dude, what if Epstein's just down in central america with that bitch carol baskin's
husband very possible very possible wow with with harvey weinstein in the condition he was in how
was he not dead yet i mean wasn't he like in horrible health he's probably playing some of
that up for a lighter sentence but yeah he didn't look great
he looked like a glutton like a piece of shit like an old dude who got surgery and couldn't
move that much so he just had to go to court with a walker yeah it was not he's not doing great
he said better thing yeah like last night dan said that in his life he had a really good first 26
years and it sounds like wine seemed considered like considered the first majority of his life to go pretty well for himself.
These past few years are kind of –
Not great.
They're not panning out as he would like them to, I'm sure.
How old is Dan?
No clue.
Is he 30 yet?
29, 30?
I want to say like 28.
That sounds right to me.
I don't know. Okay. I don't know what to say like 28 that sounds right to me i don't know okay
man so that means he was like 22 23 at grand x right yeah he was a young guy no he no
no but he wasn't he got hired wasn't he i don't think he was 22 or 23 hard to say
hey do you guys want to talk about these pandas just like
doing it?
Did I miss anything?
Panda fucking.
Oh, the picture from the zoo or whatever?
Dude, this is big news.
Oh, they had
sex on their own
for the first time in their lifetime
or something?
Yeah.
A zoo's been trying to get two pandas to mate for 10 years when coronavirus shut the zoo down. the first time in their lives, their lifetime or something. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
A zoo has been trying to get two pandas to mate for 10 years.
When coronavirus shut the zoo down,
the pandas finally did.
Dude,
there's a picture of like,
of them,
you know,
like full,
full penet,
it didn't show penetration,
but like he's in there,
right?
Dude,
no.
Have you seen,
I mean,
so I put this photo in our rundown so that if you guys haven't seen it.
I mean, one, it looks like Ying Ying.
I believe Ying Ying is the female panda.
She's absolutely throwing back into Lele.
She doesn't look like she's too thrilled about it.
Is she looking back at it?
Dude, no. She's's not she's just focused imagine imagine you spend your you're like you know obviously your whole life as a virgin and
then you finally have sex someone captures it on you know with a picture and they just blasted
across social media like hey look they finally they finally did it congrats how awkward is it
i feel like the concept of virginity is not that big of a deal
in the kingdom that's a fair point but dude how how tight would it be if like the first time
yeah it's gonna get documented but you're you're they get the best photo possible while you're
clapping those jiggly cheeks like couldn't they have waited until they were finished and then just get a picture of them laying next to each other or something?
The picture is just so unnecessary.
They get a photo of him rolling over, going to bed.
It's funny.
CNN has a photo of them hugging each other, and then less serious outlets just have the one where lele is blowing her back out
he's like mitt he's like he's got his paws up on her back like it's it's some really graphic shit
yeah i mean it's just it's such an aggressive photo i what no i haven't seen this thing yet
so now i'm just i'm just hearing Will talk about pandas and chino friction
and I can't see it.
Yeah, dude, you got to pull it up. Just click that link
that Will dropped in the doc so you can see it.
I'll just hover
your cursor over it. It'll just
pop up. A little technology
there.
I just Googled. Oh!
Oh! Yeah.
It says, since Ying Ying and Lele's arrival in Hong Kong in 2007
and attempts at natural mating since 2010,
they unfortunately have yet to succeed until this year.
It's extremely exciting news for all of us, says Michael Booz,
the executive director of Zoological Operation and Conservation.
Yeah, take it easy, Michael.
Yeah, dude, chill, dude.
We get it.
People have horny, Michael. Dude, chill, dude. We get it.
Horny on the panda.
Who was not giving it up for 10 years?
Was it Lele or Lulu?
I heard that Lele just wasn't catching a vibe yet.
I heard that they were just letting anticipation build
for all these years to make it that much better.
I would like to point out that Will's description
of this photo in the rundown.
It says, must-see photo of Ying Ying throwing ass. I'm going to point out the will's description of this this photo in the rundown it says must see photo of yin yin throwing ass i'm gonna link to the picture i don't know which one's which i hope that i'm right i'm trying i've been trying to base it off
of the captions but some of the articles that i haven't or that i've been reading i haven't had
the the sex for sure some of the post-coitus stuff is out there,
like video.
And it's just like,
it's just him rolling over,
grabbing his phone,
checking Twitter,
her going to the bathroom,
like walking over,
waddling.
Waddling.
Just getting a towel.
Wow.
I didn't see those,
man.
I got to check that out.
Yeah.
He's just texting his boys like,
they lay smoking a cig. He's like, finally happened't see those, man. I got to check that out. He's just texting his boys. He's smoking his cig.
He's like, finally happened.
I finally busted the ultimate panda nut.
He's just taking a selfie with a deuce thrown.
And fired it off to his boys.
Yeah.
We did it.
He gets like, all his boys are calling him Panda Express because he lasted like 30 seconds.
Oh, you got him.
You got him.
Man.
Oh, it's so stupid.
I mean, someone correctly responded to a tweet about this.
Like, man, crazy what animals do when there aren't humans just staring at them all the time.
It's like, yeah, it is kind of weird, huh?
Yeah, fair, fair.
God, Ying Ying, just throwing it back is this ours oh there we go yeah
this and not just listening on apple podcast or spotify then you just got a
and you just got the photo watch me on youtube those crazy kids are having fun you can tell
it makes me happy that this happened this is a feel-good story after monday's episode where we had like tigers getting coronavirus and stuff like that it was like damn
like can we just get a w for one of these zoos i don't know why i'm cheering news necessarily
though did y'all see that genuine just really re-released pony but he changed it to panda
what really no i made that up. Oh,
I was going to say,
what second?
I was like,
like,
there's already a very popular reps on named Panda.
So you can't do that.
Right.
My Panda.
Now you're going to say he renamed.
I literally thought that end of the joke was going to say that he named it to Karony instead of pony.
And I was like,
that's,
that's in poor taste.
Yes.
That was my concern. Wow. There's, poor taste. Yes. That was my concern.
Wow.
There's no bad in my head.
I'm remixing.
Drop bars, Dave.
No, it's okay.
I don't.
It's this.
These times are too uncertain to drop bars.
Yeah, that's true.
Guys, I have to.
I have to step away and help Park say
he just went poop, so I got to
do some dad shit right now.
We've had Tinky Breaks
on the podcast before. This is our first
ever.
He just goes, Daddy,
I want poop.
He's like the
alien showing up
at your bedroom door at 2 a.m
dylan laughing in the background is so stupid did you notice he was wearing the uh me undies
star wars pajama pants no i did not dylan dylan has worn one piece of master's gear
on his person this entire week there's something something hilarious about Dylan wearing Star Wars anything.
Just got to put that out there.
If there's one person on this podcast who you can pretty much guarantee
has never seen all the Star Wars, it's Dylan.
I watched the last one, by the way.
I did too, Dave.
I don't know.
I've seen the original three, and then I saw episode one,
which obviously people did not like, correct?
And then I think I missed the other two episodes. original three and then i saw uh episode one which obviously people did not like correct and then i
think i missed the other two episodes well then they've got the new the new ones that they've done
and they just did the rise of skywalker and uh you know i'm glad i watched it but it's like
it wasn't captivating it felt like a uh it felt like the star wars movie trying to play a star
wars movie that makes sense.
Yeah, that does make sense.
I'm not educated enough in Star Wars to give good takes.
I'm not either, honestly, but I love the first three, the originals.
I was a big fan of the pod racing game on N64.
That game was intense.
Yeah. big fan of the pod racing game on n64 that game was intense yeah i also uh i also watched the
pilot of mandalorian so i'm kind of an expert at this point that's all that's as far as i got to
it was i liked it but it just wasn't a good time in my life to start it absolutely i think 30 to
40 percent of all legos i had grown up were just from the same Star Wars set. So every iteration of any machine I ever made in Legos
would have had some Star Wars thing on it.
Okay, stand, mute, cancel.
Legos, K'nex, Playmobil.
Ooh, I stand Lego.
Yeah, I'm standing Legos too.
Mute, Playmobil, just because I'm canceling K'nex.
K'nex sucks.
K'nex get canceled.
Yeah, K'nex sucks.
Dude, are you serious?
Yeah, absolutely.
I am very serious.
No, dude, K'nex were underrated.
K'nex were for like the next level mind.
You probably like Rosark Kranz too.
No.
If it's not Prismacolor,
get it out of my face right now.
Oh, you had the cool box
with all the pencils
and the chalk and shit?
Yeah, and I was also
the best drawer in class.
Did you guys ever have
an erector set?
No, I thought that was
like K'nex, inconvenient K'nex. They were. It was very outdated. set no i thought i thought that was like uh connects inconvenient connects they were it was
very outdated yeah it's like i could do the exact same thing with connects but without having to
like use like a little tiny wrench that like kind of like is annoying to you it taught me how to be
a man would later come into play when i was fixing cars working in that auto shop oh yeah oh yeah
we're just talking about childhood toys, Dylan,
so this was a really good time for you to
do the food break.
I was just
walking to the bathroom when Dave
dropped that alien comment.
It really sent me.
You could hear you laughing in the
background. Yeah, I figured you'd hear
that. You didn't tell us you were getting a fit
off today. Oh, did you see my pants?
We saw your pants.
These are my MeUndies
Star Wars pajama
pants. We know what they are.
Okay.
If there's anybody on this podcast who's absolutely
never seen the Star Wars movies, it's Dylan.
Yeah, that's fair.
I think I saw the original, the original the very first one years and
years ago i don't really even remember it though so yeah good call brett
hat tip to will hey dylan can i ask you the same stam you cancel i think you
might actually have a take on this okay uh stam you cancel play Playmobil, Legos, K'nex. What was the first one?
Playmobil. What's that?
Are you serious? Oh, come on.
Just tell me.
It's
essentially Legos that you don't put together.
It's just little humans with
villages and stuff, but it's the size
and scale of Legos.
Since I have no idea what those are,
they're getting canceled.
Legos are an all-time toy.
I think get the homie Playmobil.
Maybe he'll appreciate it more
than he appreciated the knee hockey.
He is a Lego machine, man.
He puts those things together like crazy.
He's in a big Lego phase right now.
Loves them.
Would you say he's a Lego maniac?
Yeah, I would.
All right. Any closing thoughts on uh the pandas guys before we move on just really happy for the cute couple that's all
congrats on the sex big uh before we get into our next segment let's let's hear from one of uh one
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All right, this popped up on the subreddit.
It's called the
Wash Media Quarantine Challenge.
This has been pretty much all over the internet
of just like lists of people
that you would want to be quarantined with
or you wouldn't want to be quarantined with
however you look at it. some a user made this one
and we need to we need to break it down i'm trying to yeah i gotta yeah i got it pulled up too so
it's four houses we're all involved it's a it's a a number of washed media personalities and uh
friends of the of the company each person on this stream is a head of washed media personalities and friends of the company.
Each person on this stream is a head of one of the households.
Yeah.
Okay.
I need to pull it up.
I think we should have done a draft.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fair.
So house one is Dylan, intern Klein, the the homie and the real cat pat house two is dave sally
barrett and kill shot house three is will lily micah and dan house four is brett duda hashtag
and fulton oil and gas the overwhelming favorite from the few comments I've seen on that Reddit thread is that house two is the house to be in.
Yeah.
Dave,
Sally Barrett and kill shot.
Kill shots.
The real wild card here.
Love the guy.
Don't know.
Don't know what kind of roommate he would be.
That's a little up in the air.
There are only so many sidewalk sidewalk slammers you can do before. It's like, you got to get out of here he would be. That's a little up in the air. There are only so many sidewalk
slammers you can do before it's like,
you got to get out of here, Killshot. I'm tired
of doing sidewalk slammers, man.
Yeah, this is like the 15th day
in a row I've been binge drinking.
He's leaving
his cereal bowls on the coffee
table for an extended period of time.
Yeah, you're on a bender with Killshot in the house.
Just nonstop.
The countertops are always a little sticky.
Will, what do you think about your setup that you're now with your sister-in-law instead
of your wife?
Yeah, I mean, as the only person married to somebody who currently gets a direct paycheck
from Watch Media, I feel like,
I feel like I should maybe live with my wife,
but you know,
that's not hard.
I don't, I don't know how much,
I don't know how much time Lily and Micah has spent together at IRL,
but I,
I feel like they would clash big time.
No,
I think they get,
I think they actually get along.
And I think that 95% of the time that they're hanging out, it's pretty much just at Matt's El Rancho.
I feel like she would choke him out if they were just forced to live under the same roof for too long.
Yeah.
I've never seen Micah or her lose it on one another, but those are two fiery personalities, so I couldn't be getting a little contentious.
You're getting a little contentious.
And then Dan would just go in and just fire takes in just to piss people off even more to the point where Mike was finally just like,
God damn it, Dan, shut up.
Oh, yeah.
Dan would be the instigator.
He would bring up stuff that he'd know that would be a contentious subject between the two, like light the fuse and just run away and let it happen.
That would be Dan. I've lived with Lily for an extended period of time.
And while it wasn't quarantine, I mean, i know what it's like to live with her and it's always i mean we never had
any major issues or anything like that but she definitely did not like how often uh drew her
husband and i would play fifa together so i think i would yeah i want to file an official protest
on behalf of will because he didn't get to live with his wife but dylan got to live with his son
you can't you can't split up me and the homie that would be yeah why do you get to live with
your son i feel like we should have you guys up why am i not with your son that's a good that's
a good question that's not a fair fight dude yeah that'd be that'd be too strong the house man you
won bit madness you can't win the quarantine challenge with no dude people i think the sneaky the sneaky pick here is is uh ford i'm gonna ride
i'm gonna ride for house four yeah no john duda hashtag at falton that i would have to mediate
between hashtag and duda but that would just be an all-time situation oh wow i think for me i think
that in terms of this house four i think it's the most
watchable one but it's definitely the most volatile where like things could things could
get old real quick duda and hashtag chad have absolutely nothing to talk about zero rapport
between those two and nothing to discuss making you feel good and then duda is just sitting there
just being annoyed with everything and like writing passive aggressive columns about it like my roommate left his spoon in the sink for like two hours do I need to move
out yeah you just talked to Chad like Chad was saving it for later in case he wanted more peanut
butter hashtag's gonna be uh facetiming his wife and kid and like Fon Oil and Gas is going to be in his room with Juice WRLD
on 11, just blaring it.
Taking photos in his
full-length mirror.
What is this fucking kid doing?
I feel like Fulton wouldn't even talk to anybody in the house.
He'd just be back in his room doing his own thing,
firing off DMs.
No.
He'd be in the backyard the entire time
with a beard-eye table set up and no one
wanting to play.
That's the house that would... That's the Brad house. No. Brad would be in the backyard the entire time with a beer dye table set up and no one wanting to play. No one's out there.
That's the house that would – that's the Brad house.
It's like me, Duda, and Brad.
Mid-20s.
Chad's pulling Brad aside like, hey, what's this Duda guy's deal, man?
I can't figure him out.
And then Duda's writing the draft of the column that's just like,
beer dye is the lowest form of drinking game.
Brad's just like – he like the the furry guy meme like what the fuck like dude you think i wasn't gonna read this dude is blogging about how much he hates his roommates
oh it'd be so good we have that has to be fun also like duda and fulton just going like
over the top bits with each other.
I don't know if we can survive that.
Fulton and Duda might be a wild combo to see.
That's a lot of personality in one house, man.
I can picture Duda
would be like,
man, this Fulton kid's a squid.
I just don't think... I don't know, man think i think fulton would say the same thing about
duda though yeah i know they're the same person yeah i'm gonna i want to stop by house four just
to hang out for like 30 minutes but then i'm out because i can't take a whole lot of that i don't
think that's fair i'm just cruising i'm just cruising through house house one would be good
until like until dylan and intern klein got in a fight over their Brussels sprouts recipe.
Klein's trying to put too much balsamic on it, and Dylan's just throwing hands.
It's not enough salt.
You need more than just pepper.
What are you even doing?
House 1's pretty chill.
I don't see anybody getting at anybody's throats or anything in House of One.
We're just going to chill and watch movies and have fun with the home.
Y'all would be eating mac and cheese and dino nuggets and stuff.
No, no.
I've been cooking it up in the kitchen this week.
What did you have for dinner yesterday?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I've heard, bro.
What was for dinner last night?
I pan seared some salmon.
Oh.
And it was – I'm never cooking it any other way ever again.
It was incredible.
Sally has this new fish Florentine recipe that's just been going super hard,
and we've just been pan searing the fish beforehand,
and it's just incredible stuff.
It was restaurant quality.
It was incredible.
It was so good.
All right.
Calm down.
I'm telling you, man. I'm going to make it for you sometime, Dave. Do it yourself. Parks was so good. All right, calm down. I'm telling you, man.
I'm going to make it for you sometime, Dave.
Hey, Parks.
Parks was – well, that doesn't sound great.
Parks texted me and said that you were too cheap to go with the wild.
You only get farm-raised salmon.
No.
Actually, this one was.
It was Atlantic farm-raised.
Dude, come on.
Yeah, but I used to go sockeye,
but the sockeye didn't look as good as the uh
the atlantic so i i i didn't go wild dude you're loco for that i know i know i am yeah dude i have
there are like hella bones in there or anything dave oh he said he said he made sure it was
deboned that is that's a mistake i did make at one point i had to throw something out because i
it was just too too much too many bones didn't I did make at one point. I had to throw something out because it was just
too much, too many bones.
Didn't they call you D-Bone when you were in prison for a little bit, Dave?
D-Bone.
D-Bone. Yeah, they did, actually.
It wasn't like prison.
I was in county.
I was in county.
That's right. Okay.
I do think that House 2
on the surface,
I think is a great house,
but the more I think about it,
the more I'm like,
I don't like Sally would end up wanting to kill every single one of you.
And she would make your life miserable to the point where you would move
out.
I feel like,
you know,
or something wouldn't be as amused with kill shot as we are.
I don't know why.
They aren't,
they both the same fraternity,
like both UT.
Oh yeah. Rad dudes. I don't know if they're't they both the same fraternity? Like both UT grad dudes?
I don't know if they're in the same one or not.
I forgot what Killshot was in.
I think they are.
Okay.
A few years apart.
Like 20 years apart.
Yeah.
They're not the same age.
Like two graduating classes apart.
Sally and I would be a battle for like who can make the dopest optimized coffee yeah but you guys would have some really good meals because if you got if you're
grilling if you're like smoking the meat and everything like that and she's handling the
sides you're going to be in a really really good position oh i actually think out of everybody
you're got you guys actually no i think micah and i could give you guys a run for your money
micah and i we might have a little
messier of a meal, but
we could do some good stuff in the kitchen together.
I could see us
preparing some elaborate dinner and
Killshot being like, I'm just going to eat some
fucking ramen.
I'm good, man. I don't eat that shit.
I'm going to go to In-N-Out. Can I get you
guys anything? I don't really do
vegetables. You send Dan to the store
on a run. He comes back with just like 10
rotisserie chickens for everybody.
You just got a flock
of rotisseries?
How wild is it
that on like a Tuesday night,
you were drinking sockeye?
Yeah, that's impressive, dude.
What were you doing?
What are you talking about?
You said last night.
Sockeye salmon?
Yeah, you're drinking sockeye.
I wasn't drinking sockeye, Dave.
Come on, man.
I forced that one.
I've got a little sockeye left.
I might have to pour that up for the next happy hour.
You're such a sockeye boy now.
I know. I love it, dude. It just gets next happy hour. You're such a sake boy now. I know.
I love it, dude.
It just gets me going.
Rice wine, baby.
Let's do it.
It's the worst hangover, though.
Dude, grape wine is so-
Me too.
In 2019.
So 2000 and late.
You were drinking it last night.
Don't call it grape wine.
I only drink rice wine now.
Don't call it grape wine.
It's just wine.
Dude, it's grape wine.
Rice wine. Get out of here with that. someone's gonna like review this and be like god i fucking
hate will calling it grape wine great dude that's like people who say ball golf for regular golf
dylan in prison didn't you used to make your own gape wine? I did, yeah.
It was pretty good, too. A lot of the boys liked it.
Okay.
I don't know why.
The other day, I think I just wanted to laugh at how miserable Harvey Weinstein is right now,
but I just Googled Rikers Island jail cells.
Got to say, not an ideal situation.
No, they're not great.
Yeah, I haven't heard good things about the cells at rikers no no yeah it lives up to the hype
their courts are pretty tight outside though like the basketball court and the field they have
is is tight a lot of room for activities you see it you can see it when you fly in and uh to la guardia every time you just get like a full a full view of riker 30 seconds yeah that's interesting
i've never looked but i don't yeah i've never looked david i need to start looking at that
now that we have randy on board we can run fives with people that's true oh we can't
oh randy's a liability i mean we won't but we could randy's getting backed out of the paint
like 10 times out of 10 we just put we just put randy on the most athletic guy because he'd
probably run the most out of all of us oh yeah randy's randy's just like he's man marking their
fastest dude he has with his left hand vibes though no chance he also says he's 5'10 and i'm not 100 sure that's accurate
oh buddy oh man as a as a as a as the king of 5'9 and 5'9 plus i'm just not ready to say that
he's 5'10 yet that's fair what did last day on the live stream you were 5'11 and three quarters
yeah so technically uh per the doctor of 5'11 and three quarters. Because I asked him, I was like, can we seriously, like, can we try?
She's like, you're 5'11.
You're in the same category as Dan as being just sneaky, not a short guy.
Yeah.
So somebody in the comments last night said something about how if I was actually 5'11 and three quarters, I wouldn't say that.
I would say that I was six foot because I'm that close.
But no, I'm honest. And I will give them them credit my driver's license says six foot on it i was like
i'm not going to write down i'm not writing down 511 i'm closer to six foot than i am 511 it's like
bumble profiles no one lists 511 it's either 510 or six feet yeah and if you're 510 you're not 510
no yeah because even if you're like 510 and you're not 5'10". No. Because even if you're like 5'10 1⁄2", you're putting six feet probably.
Not that I would know.
I'm a six-footer.
Well, I don't know if this is going to be rude or not,
but the first time I saw you in that bar that we met at,
you were taller and skinnier than I thought you were.
I think that's fair.
I think that's a fair assessment of, uh, of that point.
Oh,
Hey,
well,
I was thinking about this yesterday.
So you've been,
you've been on the Pelly a lot during this,
uh,
lockdown situation.
We haven't seen your body obviously in weeks.
Are we going to see a whole new different?
Well,
when we finally see you out in the wild,
you're going to be just like slim and trim and felt last night.
I said to Sally,
I said,
all I care about coming out of this quarantine,
as long as we're healthy, is that, uh, when I show up at matt's hell rancho for the first time everyone's just
like holy shit will looks great i feel like that that's what's it's gonna happen i've been living
on this thing i've been doing one minute my my quarantine routine has really been popping lately
i'm doing one meditation a day one ride a day and i'm mixing up uh i'm mixing up my ride times just
just listen to the body you know today might have to be an off day though i'm mixing up uh i'm mixing up my ride times just just listen to the body
you know today might have to be an off day though i went i went pretty hard yesterday it was only a
30 minute ride yesterday but i did set a new pr so i'm happy about that are you still rocking
right now yeah still too towering um micah and i actually we we have a group text going with
sally and boo boo and we've been uh every anytime someone gets a pr a personal record for those not in the peli game uh we've been sending a a picture of puerto rico
in the flag or somebody somebody with the flag it's a very good bit and it gets you
it's almost as exciting as when brett closes the deal and sends the lights out uh sean merriman
jiff what's your wad looking like my wad yeah your wod your workout of the day
is that a thing or should i start doing that it's a cross right it's a crossfit thing i think
they call it the wad they're fucking edgy that's i don't like that the wad
why i don't know i i tried to download strava the other day so i could follow you guys
and uh i couldn't figure out how to connect my old workouts from peloton into the app so i just
deleted it immediately everyone probably got a notification that i joined that i'm like facebook
friends with so i'm an idiot i uh i want to run some sprints today i just don't know where to do
them because i don't want to do it like in neighborhood. I don't want people to see me. Not like dead sprints, but just some faster, short-term stuff.
Dude, come over to my crib.
We'll do it on the parking garage roof.
It's a tight spot.
Why don't you just go to Intercontinental's alley?
What the heck?
We need more on that alley workout that he's doing.
What's he thinking?
He's wiling for that
he's doing fans in his truck bed that's what i heard i want to know what kind of music he's
jamming he said yacht rock but i bet he's listening to like stapleton or something real loud
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Guys, so we've already talked about how this is Masters Week.
Today would have been the par three.
Do you want to make some's picks and just act like this
is currently happening yeah i got the cat who who do you have for the par three though
oh uh give me uh give me jimmy walker he's won it before i like that he's won it before
was that last year that tony finals just
rolled his ankle so bad he dislocated it in the par three i think it was two years ago at least
two yeah and then went on to went on to post the top 10 or top top 15 that was so bizarre
over it the par three uh at Masters, the par three contest,
there's so many holes in one.
It's like there's a funnel around the hole or something, man. I don't get it.
They know what they're doing there.
Yeah.
It's ridiculous.
Jack Nicholson's – Nicholson.
Nicholas, his grandson with the hole-in-one.
Was it last year, I think?
Yep.
Great video, though.
That was awesome.
There's one or two every Wednesday of Masters Week that we see.
We're like, oh, that's cool.
It's somebody weird.
Henrik Stenson's going to win the part three or something.
Martin Keimer.
One of those names.
Ooh, Martin Keimer.
A German sensation.
Yep.
Noted scarf wear on the course.
He's swaggy.
He's low-key Euro swaggy.
Yeah, I was at kind of like a redneckish bar one time, and they had the golf on before a NASCAR race,
and I said something about how I liked the look of his scarf,
and I thought I was going to get beat up.
It was not good.
What redneck bar were you at? was called moose jaw junction in uh
in uh brutus michigan about 15 minutes outside of harbor springs highly recommend going there
in the winter time you know there's not that not that many places to go
get a sandwich and have six beers for lunch you know you had to go out to out to brutus
um i guess say again do you have any like favorite masters moments from history that you just like
go back to louis ustazen's two on two that was awesome then he lost in the playoff.
That shot is so fun to rewatch just because it takes so long to pan out.
It's just like an entertaining – it feels like it's like 30 seconds. That ball just – it's on the green for –
it is on the green for 30 seconds before it goes over.
Dude, Bubba hitting that shot in that playoff with the hook on it was so sick.
And at that time, i liked bubba
you know i wasn't i didn't really i wasn't aware of how much of a fucking psycho he was
and um that was awesome i remember that i remember him going on all like the late night shows and i
was like man this guy's really likable and then he switched to oakley it got weird i don't understand
the physics of that shot
and how he was able to pull that off.
It doesn't make sense to my brain.
Off of pine straw, nonetheless.
He hooked it like 30 yards in the air
with a wedge.
He's a ball shaper.
If I'm doing that, it's on accident.
Yeah.
It's a single shot out of the pine straw is pretty memorable too.
Oh, on – was it like –
11 or 12.
I think it was 13.
13, yeah.
Yeah, something like that.
How about Molinari last year hitting that tree limb
and dunking it in the drink?
I don't remember that.
I don't remember that one.
He was playing in the last group of Tiger.
I've had a bad
last two years
with the Masters. I've had
obligations both times
and I've had to miss a
significant portion of the last couple years.
Last year's will go down
for me as the most memorable.
Obviously, it's recent, but just seeing the Cat win another major,
you can't really beat that.
I need to go back and watch that final round.
What does CBS do when they are faced with airing the Masters
versus college football?
And NFL, I mean.
And NFL.
Yeah.
What happens with this?
I don't understand how they're going to do it in a way
that's going to make everybody happy.
Jim Nance has an erection for 48 hours.
Yeah.
There's no way that they can move the Masters
to a different CBS affiliate
like whatever
TNT or TruTV, whatever.
Any given Masters gets higher ratings
than just a regular season
SEC slate. It would make sense to move the other ones but could they sell the coverage rights to
another network i don't know how that works i don't know are you trying to bear i'm just saying
that i'm just what if we got the right did it on our youtube streaming yeah like we just think i'll
do numbers the approach shots on like like 17 or something or maybe like three like we just think i'll do numbers the approach shots on like like 17 or something
or maybe like three like we just get everybody's second shot that's what we can buy yeah yeah i
like this should we edit this in case the real bummer is obviously no masters but like
every year you realize how how how sick their website is.
Yeah.
You're like,
Oh,
this is the best website ever made.
Everyone's like,
Oh man,
this app is like weirdly working really,
really well.
It's,
it's the best app ever as the best user interface of anything I've ever
really incredible.
It's not because you can watch every shot.
Nobody else does that.
Nobody,
nobody,
literally nobody.
Us opens kind of fun though. They don't. I hate Nobody. Literally nobody. U.S. Open is kind of fun, though.
I hate Fox golf coverage for some reason, and I don't know why.
Oh, I love it.
It's my favorite.
I'll take it over anything.
Zinger and Joe Buck and I don't know.
I just like the sheer insane amount of pro tracer they do.
Oh, it's ridiculous.
They pro tracer putts. Oh, it's ridiculous. They pro trace like putts.
Yeah, it's just the best.
I just love how next level they get with everything.
They go big.
Yeah, they do go big.
They're like a year away from, you know, in tighter woods
where the greens have all the lines going across them
and the speed chart.
They're just going to do that for every live.
Why don't they make that?
As they should.
What's that? Why don't they make that video game anymore tell me that question or tell me us four to foursome on twitch playing tiger
woods golf does not do numbers of course i was actually pretty decent at that game i think
everybody got to the everybody for like three weeks you could be like the best thing you could
possibly be in the game.
You could decide which way to spin the ball.
Like rapid tap the power button on your drive.
Oh, yeah.
Tiger shot.
Bang.
I didn't say that.
Should have.
I thought that was a bang button.
I'm sorry.
We'll have a bang button by Patreon on Friday.
Bang.
Get in for that, please. Have you played the the golf game yet or was it the golf club yeah it's no it would be i don't think they have cross platform yet um but i've played it on xbox
it's it's you know it it fills the tiger woods void it's not as fun and obviously you're create
you have to create your own character.
But there's good courses on there.
Dylan, does the homie know that you're really good at Golden Tee?
I've explained it to him before.
I don't think he really grasps it, though.
But, yeah.
I've explained it to him, like, dude, so, Parks, I'm the GOAT.
Dude, you don't understand, Parks.
I'm bomb at this game.
No, he doesn't get it.
Dude, my game is Torch. He likes...
He's tried to play before, but
he's not great. Imagine
if you had a golden tee in your house.
Yeah, a lot of people
were tagging me. Apparently, you can buy
one at Costco or something, but
it's not a good... It's like an old...
an older unit, and it has
the TV built into it. It's not great. I will not a good version. It's like an older unit, and it has the TV built into it.
It's not great.
I will not be acquiring that.
I want a real one.
They should have said you would.
Cut the check, man.
Where do you put it?
In the garage?
For several thousand dollars.
I have a room I could put it in here.
I might put it in Park's room.
I might put it in my bedroom.
Who knows?
The one in Ozark was in a garage, and it just felt really forced.
You don't need an arcade thing in your garage when you're in the home.
God, that would be so sick if I had one here.
We'd have to Twitch.
Look at him.
Dave, did you make an addition to your Swing Academy yesterday?
A second one?
Yeah, it is still packaged.
I did make an addition. I did make an addition.
I was gifted an addition.
What was it?
It is a Chippo.
What's a Chippo?
It's like cornhole, but with golf.
Ah, okay. Ah.
And apparently it's custom. When are you gonna get a beer fridge
dude i
i don't really need one yet because like i just have one in my fridge at all times
true i guess if you got a beer fridge for outside and it always just had one single beer in it.
You know what, though?
Maybe I'll look into that.
Maybe I could find a deal.
Maybe I'll see if the Honey app can get me a discount on one.
Buy me a coupon.
Dave makes a run to the store every day and just acquires one single beer.
Yeah.
Instead of pick six, Dave's like, can I just do a pick one, please?
They really hate that, by the way,
when you pull one out of the six-pack and go up to the register.
I can't imagine why.
Did you guys ever drink 40s?
Huh?
Did you ever drink 40s?
Yeah.
As a joke.
32 hours.
Yeah, I'm serious.
I don't think I ever have.
Did you ever do Edward Fortyhands?
No, I did that with Jack Daniels at the Harvard-Yale football game
though. Okay.
That's aggressive. Edward Fortyhands is the
worst game ever. It's just straight up miserable.
I would just be peeing myself the whole time.
Yeah.
I did it once.
It's malt liquor.
It just gets you too faded too fast.
Yeah, it's fun.
Not for me. Hey, should we do this weekend in faded too fast. Yeah, it's fun. Not for me.
Hey, should we do this weekend in quarantine?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'll be quarantined this weekend.
Actually, we're doing an Easter egg hunt for the homie.
Ooh.
Egg?
Yeah.
When I say we, it's going to be his mom is going to stop by
and believe my sister will be here too, Kendall.
We're just going to hide eggs
in the
yard and the house a little bit. He's going to go
to town on it. It should be fun. That's pretty much all
I got though, man. Are you all going to paint?
Are you going to paint the eggs?
We have some that he and his
I believe
grandmother painted already.
They have confetti. Some have conf grandmother painted already. They have
confetti. Some have confetti in them.
Some have... Can't wait to clean that up,
by the way. Some have candy in them.
Should be fun, man.
Have you converted your back porch into a
tiki bar yet?
No, but I think I'm going to get some
lights.
You know those
yellow bulb
campsite lights?
It's a perfect porch for it,
honestly.
It sounds like you need them.
I think I do. I'm so horny for your house
party.
It's going to be lit.
Just wait.
It's all I'm living for right now.
Dylan, you put it off.
Go ahead, dude.
I was going to say, Dylan puts off Christmas lights year-round
kind of vibes.
No.
I've been slow to take him down in the past.
I am guilty of that, but
no, I don't leave him up year-round.
I'm excited I finally get to put up Christmas lights again.
That'll be fun.
Yeah.
I'm jealous. You're making me want to come.
Brett, you're trash.
What did Brett do?
He just flipped on his garland.
Oh, man.
You're trash.
Yeah, you got to put that away, boy.
You are trash, man.
No, I'm keeping them up.
They're part of the before.
Yeah, we can tell.
Who's next?
Oh, I'll go.
Hit it, Dave.
Yeah, I'm just going to be hanging out here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll finally jump into final season or the recent season of Peaky Blinders.
That's on the agenda.
Nothing crazy.
Peaky Blinders is currently getting the look
from me they're promoting it very hard
after every single thing I watch on Netflix
and I think it's working wonders
because I'm building excitement
every single moment
have you watched any of it?
nope don't even know what it's about
you know what I was late to it as well
I enjoyed it.
It's good.
Obviously, some seasons are better than others,
but even the seasons that aren't the greatest are still,
I don't regret watching.
And the style, you're going to dig the style.
I'm excited for it.
Are you screaming anything else, Dave?
Dude, I've been heavy in ESPN
plus apparently ESPN
plus someone has told me has a
bunch of masters recaps
like well like well done ones
I'm going to hop into that today
I'll probably
be doing a lot of master stuff this weekend
just because
obviously it's that time of year so
fill that void with some classic content it's that time of year. So filled out void with some classic content.
It's a good call.
I mean, yeah, I'm doing more of the same.
I don't really have anything on the docket.
I'm sure we'll do takeout food from one of our favorite restaurants,
one of the nights, and hopefully support some local biz.
But, you know, outside of that, I don't have much on the docket.
I think we're just going to end up powering through some TV.
We've unfortunately finished Love Island Australia,
and now we've moved on to Love Island UK, season six.
Hell yeah.
Just the trash continues, and I can't wait.
Can we expect a new pod?
We're going to do one with –
Actually, do you know who the biggest Love Island Australia fan is
that we should have had on the podcast that we're going to have to have on next time?
Micah?
Intern Peyton.
Ooh, okay.
Intern Peyton loves Love Island Australia and sent me the longest text I've ever gotten just about clarifications from things that we had mentioned on the podcast, which you can find on Patreon.
You know what?
She's 21 now.
She's allowed to join us for happy hour right well
didn't she text us at uh didn't she text us at uh on march 17th saying like hey i'm at the uh
patreon house of creativity drinking a mimosa where are you guys yeah we missed her that day
that's too bad that was a good joke um happy hour though yeah nobody nobody mentioned the happy hour
friday night is part of the weekend plans.
Yeah,
that's true.
Thanks,
Brett.
God damn it,
man.
Just saying.
Way to go,
Brett.
Yeah.
It'd be a happy hour from Houston.
So continuing my trash social distancing with one other person.
I'll be,
I'll be here in Austin.
So,
yep.
But yeah, then we'll do some Easter stuff too.
That's sneaky Easter Sunday.
Maybe make an Easter ham.
I don't know.
Is that a thing?
That's what we did growing up, yeah.
We did tenderloin on Easter.
Man.
Ham or like pot roast or something.
Speaking of my boneless ribs, Dave, that I slow cooked for six and a half hours.
Yeah, how'd that go?
Fantastic.
It's weird.
I didn't see any photos.
Yeah, I just didn't really post any when I got it done.
Sometimes I get so obsessed with the cleanup and then just eating right after that.
I don't get to take photos.
Well, when you slow cook something for six and a half hours, I was like kind of excited to, yeah, just kind of go to town on them.
And you're supposed to eat them like hot, hot.
So I always want more Dave smoking content.
I think you should do a brisket for like 13 hours and just set up as cam on your Traeger and just do, and just live broadcast the entire thing.
So we were going to do a brisket over the weekend,
but,
uh,
the meat market at H-E-B,
they were lacking like the meat,
the meat,
they have other stuff,
but they don't have like a good brisket or they didn't.
I got to catch them at the right time,
but shout out to,
uh,
Matt,
Matt and,
uh,
our friends at early bird CBD.
Cause,
uh,
they hooked me up with some pellets yesterday.
Dude, shouts.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's huge.
I'm fully restocked, and I've got enough for a long-term smoke.
Smoke's on, bitch.
You don't want that long-term smoke, dog.
Hey, before we get out of here, have you all seen the Azalea shirt by Roback?
No.
Obviously, it is fire.
Go check it out at roback.com.
Rosie 20 for 20% off.
You can also get the Victory face mask, which they are selling at cost.
Yes.
Make sure to check that out.
The Azalea is fire.
Man, I'm excited for Friday.
I got some ideas.
I want to talk to you guys off mic.
Ooh.
I love an idea.
Let's hear it.
All right.
I'll tell you in like 30 seconds.
All right.
Big brain bread.
Yeah.
All right.
We getting out of here?
Yep.
All right.
Bye, you guys.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Nope. All right, been real good. Bye, you guys.