Circling Back - The Will DeFries Starter Kit

Episode Date: February 6, 2019

The Will deFries Starter Kit, the dude in Colorado who killed the mountain lion with his bare hands, The Steam Room about how absolutely miserable cable logins are, Circling Back on The Bachelor, and ...This Weekend in Fun presented by Icenhauer's in Austin, Texas. Support us on Patreon and receive episodes every Friday for just $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Shop Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) Shop Criquet Shirts: www.criquetshirts.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) Twitter: www.twitter.com/circlingbackpod Instagram: www.instagram.com/circlingbackpod Visit: www.circlingbackpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 all right we're back circling back podcast my name is will defries my right dave ruff off the top shout out to buzz aldrin rocking the short tie looking good though bars beers buzzed did you check that did you watch the state of the union didn't even think about it so you don't know what the state of our union is currently i have a guess okay i don't talk politics on this podcast dave you know that everyone knows that well i can tell you this from what i heard the state of our union is strong i feel like people just watch that to get jokes off it's it's like bachelor twitter yeah it's 100 it's crazy i feel like nancy pelosi was like kind of like this is going to be a very niche oh here we go i think pelosi with her clap
Starting point is 00:01:03 i think she was trying to pull something off that didn't really work like she wanted it to, in my opinion. Kind of like how Bibiana on The Bachelor with her whole mic drop thing. Whoa, nobody's doing those comparisons. She didn't execute it as well as she probably could have, but she went all in. Yeah, I didn't watch a second of it,
Starting point is 00:01:22 so I don't know. I couldn't find anything else to watch yeah because it was on you know 20 of the channels available well there's still 80 of channels i couldn't find anything that's that's a fair point yeah yeah i was i was just watching no laying up tourist sauce instead that that sneaky show that seemed more important to me at the time well the thing not to get too into it but the weirdest thing about it is like so our president has like a completely different tone when he does these and it's almost who is who's president these days it's donald trump ah
Starting point is 00:01:56 he it's like he's on some kind of pills to calm him down and he's way more somber and it's weird because normally you know we're watching him and he's he's fucking wiling out but not in this it's it's somber and it's it's slow this was like the second longest of all time it dragged on i based on what i was seeing on twitter i was like man this seems it seems long it was people were getting you know what there's a lot of people volume shooting i don't need a more dialed down trump no his only redeeming quality is that he's he's outrageous and he's fun to make fun of i need him i don't need him toned down a watered down version of that personality is just not no dude just fucking inject him with the vivance and let's let's party let's see what kind of weird shit's gonna happen he just tells him to shut off the off the monitors And he's like no I'm going off the cuff
Starting point is 00:02:45 I think he had one ad lib that everybody's talking about But I'm not going to go all Chuck Todd on y'all I hate I hate that you like Chuck Todd so much You would hate my Sunday morning routine It's the polar opposite of yours No no I like your Sunday morning routine I like that you watch Meet the Press
Starting point is 00:03:01 It makes me happy You need to do more Meet the Press bits though I normally watch Meet the Press. It makes me happy. You need to do more Meet the Press bits, though. I normally watch Meet the Press and text Micah. Why? Does he watch it? No, but he's like the only one of my friends that's and like cares at all about politics. Who like will respond to like a Sunday morning
Starting point is 00:03:17 political text? Yes. And normally he doesn't respond to like Sunday night. I don't know what he's doing. I think he's getting me back for all the times I replied maybe on his Google calendar invites. He did a thing to me the other day. I invited him out for a beer. That's weird. Mine must've got lost in the mail. And this was, this had to be a quick, quick little thing. And so, no, I actually didn't. I invited you guys too when I had to be out of the house. Oh yeah. I'm sorry. I invited him out for for a beer. And I said, hey, what are you doing between four and five? And he responded immediately.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I shot back immediately with, let's go get a beer. I have to be out of my place. He didn't respond for two hours. I was like, dude, you can't just leave me in limbo. I know you have your phone right there. Who's doing that? Micah. If you haven't already, go follow Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Just subscribe everywhere. I don't care if we listen everywhere. Just subscribe everywhere. It's not that hard. I do double listens. I go Spotify and I go iTunes. What's the point of that?
Starting point is 00:04:18 I like to give us two times. We have so much to talk about today that I'm concerned. Me too. I don't know how we're going to do it. Just pad the stats. We have so much to talk about today that I'm concerned. Me too. Me too. I don't know how we're going to do it. And we also have, as everyone knows, we've got our Friday episodes on Patreon. You've got to sign up. Patreon.com.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I've got something. Oh, yeah. We're supposed to remind you of something to talk about. Oh, no, no, no. That's off mic. Oh, that's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:04:41 No, but I do have something on Friday for Patreon. Here's my official reminder that we need to talk about it when we stop recording. Hopefully we remember this. I've got something for Friday's Patreon. I alluded to it last night. I straight up said what it is, but I'm going in on how CC's made me the man I am today. Gross. Mid-90s CC's.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Wow, you don't want to miss that. It's going to be good. Part of the Dave Rustard kit that I should have done is Dave does the, remind me to do this. Remind me to tell you about this. It was too much to text. Dude, I'm super forgetful, though. So, like, I feel like I never remember when people say those things to me.
Starting point is 00:05:10 It's funny, he texted us, remind me to talk to y'all about something tomorrow. Instead of just, like, talking about it in the text. I didn't, it's too complex to text. That's fine. You could drop, like, a five-word description of it. No, because then, it was later, I didn't want to get everybody's creative juices flowing. Okay. I wanted you guys to get your full eight hours. I'm always ready for that shit to flow. Like we were in that meme
Starting point is 00:05:30 we were just the functioning brain, but you didn't want us to get to the laser shooting out of the brain? Correct. It was too late for that. Thank you. We weren't ready. I produced the mail-in pod yesterday, and I came in, it was like four o'clock, with a monster. One of the all-white ones that T-Man used to drink all the time.
Starting point is 00:05:46 I saw that. I rarely drink them, but it's really good. I drank the whole thing. Had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night. I don't recommend the late afternoon Monster. Do you know what else you did as producer of the Mail-In Podcast? I lost 17 minutes of airtime. He just straight up didn't hit record.
Starting point is 00:06:01 He's like, all right, we're rolling. He's like, okay. That's a savvy producer move. He gave you guys a little uh dude no one's producing dry run it ended up better no one's producing like dave you know you know the conversations ended up better maybe we should do that every time yeah yeah sally looked real happy with me a little warm-up dave if you've been having trouble sleeping you know what you can do i already know where you're going you could try some early bird cbd right. I need to re-up. Yeah, go to earlybirdcbd.com and use Circling Back for 20% off.
Starting point is 00:06:30 They have some CBD gummies that will not only help with general soreness and everything else that CBD helps with, but they've got melatonin in them. Oh my God. And you know your boy stays faded off that tonin. They put me straight to sleep. Actually, that's not true.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Not straight to sleep. I mellow out for a little while. I calm down. The nerves calm down. I just total relaxation mode. And then I crash. Dave, can you speak to some of the benefits of CBD? Yeah, man. It helps you recover. Inflammation just chills you out in general. I'm listening to a Rogan right now. Ring the bell. He's got a guy named Ben Greenfield on. This guy is super into optimization and human performance. He's talking about all the different ways athletes and people are supplementing with CBD. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Get in it while, I mean, just do it. I'm telling you, there's no THC. It's just the CBD stuff. The effects are great. Check it out. Pain relief, anti-seizure stuff, the effects are great. Check it out. Pain relief, anti-seizure stuff, helps with anxiety. I mean, and there's a ton of things that are also out there which I can't speak to because they're not something I deal with,
Starting point is 00:07:34 but apparently, you know, it has an effect on cancer, diabetes, and stuff like that. It's amazing. It's super human. Get it for your dog, too. Yeah. If you've got an older dog who's been creaking around the house lately
Starting point is 00:07:47 and you want to see a little energy, dude, get a tincture. Toss that on your dog's tongue. See what he can do. Test it out. I will say, if you just do it once, it won't work.
Starting point is 00:07:56 You have to build it up in your dog. Really? Yeah. Interesting fact there. Did not know. So don't just abandon it. You have to build up a little... I don't know the words.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Stable. There's a loading phase. It's like creatine when you're in high school. Early Bird's got it all. They've got the highest quality CBD products with the best deals. They only stock stuff from the best brands. Full spectrum extracts and TH-free isolates
Starting point is 00:08:19 that are infused in a variety of oils, topicals, tinctures, capsules, gummies, vape cartridges, and pet treats like we just talked about. Yeah. I came home the other day. Randy had eaten all mine. Was he just sitting on the couch with two fingers up? He didn't leave the couch for 72 hours.
Starting point is 00:08:34 He just body slammed that CBD button. He hit it with a leg drop like Hulk Hogan shit. Again, go to earlybirdcbd.com. Use promo code CIRCLling back for 20% off. Enjoy. Right now, we have something that I've kind of been scared about for the last couple days.
Starting point is 00:08:53 This is the easiest list I've ever put together in my life, by the way. There were some Twitter chatter saying that this is going to be too easy. It's quite easy. Of course, we're talking about the Will DeFree Starter Kit. These past two weeks on Wednesdays, we kicked off with the Dylan Chivry's quite easy. Of course, we're talking about the Will DeFree Starter Kit. These past two weeks on Wednesdays, we kicked off with the Dylan Chivry Starter Kit. Last week, we did the Dave Ruff Starter Kit.
Starting point is 00:09:14 These are meant for the new listeners and the old listeners as well. But let the new listeners in on what we're all about. Did you know that we did one of these for Sally yesterday? I heard that. Yeah. She gave me a little rundown of what was said. Yeah. I kind of went low on her. A little low blow. I felt bad. Don't. Yeah. She gave me a little rundown of what was said. Yeah. I kind of went low on her. A little low blow.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I felt bad. Don't. Okay. Trust me. She's the... She's okay? She's like... She's the opposite of Michelle Obama.
Starting point is 00:09:37 When people go high, she goes low. Okay. Wow. That is a very obscure reference. I'm all about obscure political references today. Nancy Pelosi's Bibiana. I don't know. Do you guys want to get started on this or whatever?
Starting point is 00:09:51 Yeah, I'm very ready. I'll just jump right in. Oatmeal season is the first one I have. It's the first one that came to mind. That started on a podcast a long time ago because I said that I ordered an oatmeal shirt. And ever since then, oatmeal has just taken over. I think the reason why I'm batting lead off with this one is because when I just picture you in my head,
Starting point is 00:10:11 not that I do that a lot, but if I just think about Will DeFreeze, you're wearing, I don't know why, an oatmeal turtleneck sweater. Like a thick-ass sweater. I don't even know if you own one of those, but you should if you don't. I have a few different sweaters that could be described as oatmeal, camel. It's that general brown color. That's what I think of when I picture you. but you should if you don't. I have a few different sweaters that could be described as oatmeal, camel. It's that general brown color. That's what I think of when I picture you.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Good. I'll do one. Appropriating street culture. Whether it's European street soccer, whether it's urban footwear. Just Will gets it and he runs with it. You give him the baton and he's gone. Can I speak to this just like briefly? You can. I will say in terms of sneakers, I'm taking a step back.
Starting point is 00:10:51 And that's an intentional step back. Because you're out of the office with Barrett and Ross. Yeah, I don't need to get. You're not competing with those guys. Yeah, I don't need to do that. But like I'm kind of out on designer sneakers at this point. It's too difficult to stay current. It's not fun keeping them clean.
Starting point is 00:11:07 And honestly, I just don't want them anymore. I want like two pairs of sneakers that I can just toss on and roll out of the house with. Really? Yeah, if anyone's looking for a size 10 and a half pair of butter Yeezys that have been worn twice
Starting point is 00:11:19 for maybe two hours max, just slide into my DMs at Will DeFreeze because I just don't need them. You trying to unload some yeezums right now? They don't really fit me either. They're like a half size too small for me. You're an 11? I go between a 10 and a half and 11. And so I probably should have returned them the second I put them on, but they're just sitting in my closet. They're as good as new. It stinks.
Starting point is 00:11:40 My next one is going home for lunch. At some point, you know. Yeah, that's a good one. I didn't think of that. Dude, every time. Like, there was a long period at work. Hey, Will, where are we going to lunch? And he would roll with us all the time.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Nobody wants to go to lunch with the squad more than Dylan. Let me point that out. Yeah, Dylan. And I like it, too, but Dylan really likes it. To be fair, you used to go to, like, HEB every day and get, like, a plain piece of chicken. Oh, my God. That lunch was trash. That was when people stopped going to lunch with me. It's like, what really do. To be fair, you used to go to like H-E-B every day and get like a plain piece of chicken. Oh my God, that lunch was trash. That was when people stopped going to lunch with me.
Starting point is 00:12:08 It's like, what did you do for lunch today? But at some point... I had a bland piece of chicken. Will, it changed with Will. He used to do lunch with us and then he was like every single time, like, no, I'm going home for lunch. He'd go see Rosie and he'd go, I don't know what he does over there, eat soup or some shit.
Starting point is 00:12:22 It's love. He's a leftover guy. But it's like, no no i'm going home for lunch every single day well it's like you never eat with when i first started at grand x like i needed to like you know build friendships with you guys and then once that was established i was like all right i don't need to hang out with them anymore they're gonna like me no matter what plus you're you've got portion control on lock so you can do a lot with a very minimal amount of leftovers whereas like guys like dylan I, who are Team Gaines,
Starting point is 00:12:47 shout out to KT, Kevin Twyfe. Yeah, we're trying to stack over here. We need more. Honestly, part of the reason I had to stop going out to lunch every day with you guys was because the portions in Austin, Texas are just massive everywhere. Remember the Cuban place we used to go to? Hey, remember we went there right when we moved into the new office, and we said, oh, we're coming here at least once a month,
Starting point is 00:13:02 and we never went back? Yeah. It was so good. We should go there. For me, just going home at lunch it's just it's great now i don't have to worry about it since i'm always home but you know it's money it got aggravating for me i understand that i wanted to get i wanted to get squad lunches off and nobody wanted to do it it is fun when you're when you you are the stay or go home for lunch guy and then one day you're like no i'm not going home and then you're like, no, I'm not going home,
Starting point is 00:13:25 and then you're like, lunch today? And then you just see the excitement just build in Dylan's head. Yeah, I get amped up. Okay, I got one. This might really ruffle some feathers. Strategically arranging his coffee table for a portrait mode gram.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Yeah, you know what it is. Oh, yeah. To be fair, we all noticed that. It's like, oh, there's just a Hemingway novel chilling. Like, bitch, you know what it is. Oh, yeah. To be fair. Coasters, like Hemingway. We've all noticed that. It's like, oh, there's just a Hemingway novel chilling. Like, bitch, you're not reading Hemingway right now. Put that book away. I am. I like getting a short story off every once in a while.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Oh, God. God. Those are a little obnoxious. Nah, dude. They look good. No, they do look good. It's just funny. To be fair, part of it's a bit.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Part of it is just for, just for Sunday Scaries promotional purposes. And part of it's just that I keep a straight-laced coffee table. I've been to your place many times, and it is always in great shape. The best part about working from home is that I can clean all day, every day. We've talked about that, yeah. You got a clean crib. Oh. We've talked about that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:23 You got a clean crib. Speaking of, you guys haven't roasted me for my, quote, library that I posted the other day. What, dude? It's a sick library. It's not good. It's not good. I didn't miss this. It was funny. Do you know how to check my stories? I do. I didn't always register with me, though.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Do you mute Dave's stories? No, I absolutely don't. There's some people who do. I know who they are. Really? Yeah. All right, I have one. Not proposing to Sally. Oh, man. Ha-ha.
Starting point is 00:14:54 This isn't one we need to get into, because we all know the story, but I feel like it's worth mentioning. Because that... And on the other end of it, this is the one I... This is my low blow to Sally. I said... Yeah. Not being proposed to by Will.
Starting point is 00:15:05 She mentioned that last night while making gumbo. Yeah. Sorry. Whole 30 gumbo? Yeah. But you would never know. That's good. She made it when we were doing Whole 30, and I was like, this is just good gumbo.
Starting point is 00:15:17 And so now we made it again. This is a good segue. Whole 30 is a staple. And it's pretty much once or twice a year. Whole30 is a staple, and it's pretty much once or twice a year. And not only doing Whole30, but no one is more proud about doing Whole30 than you. No, come on. You do talk about it quite a bit. No, and it's not that you talk about it.
Starting point is 00:15:35 It's just when we try to say, hey, let's go get some beers or let's go pine house, you kind of get a little excited that you can be like, I can, Whole30. All you have to do is you've got to, I can, I can't make it. No, no, no. Instead, it's like, sorry, I'm on a whole 30. No, no. You can't just do that because then if I say I can't make it, then you guys will press. You have to get ahead of the narrative.
Starting point is 00:15:55 This isn't like when, oh, I don't know, maybe a former producer of ours named Micah was invited to play golf on Saturday morning and he said, oh, I can't. I have a 10-mile run. It's like, well, you didn't have to tell us you're running 10 miles. That's just flexing in the group text. Yeah, that did go unnoticed by me, but now that you bring it up, that was an interesting move. You didn't have to give the reason.
Starting point is 00:16:14 You could just say, no, I can't go. But he just wants us to know he's running 10 miles. But to be fair, we haven't heard that from him many times. I mean, he just started training for this thing. Whole30 for you, it's been a staple, like Dave said. Well, it's a lifestyle. Yeezys in athleisure wear. Again, the athleisure wear is very valid.
Starting point is 00:16:35 The Yeezys. Yeezums. Yeezums, I'm pumping the brakes on. Okay. I would love to see a situation where you are working a nine to five business casual and you have to wear like dockers with a button down tucked in i just want to see what that looks like honestly it's it's that sounds like hell yeah especially for you i mean you probably don't have very many button downs that still fit. No, like all my button downs are like, by all my button downs, I mean like I have four.
Starting point is 00:17:08 I have one for every single scenario. It's like one for under a sweater, one for a nice wedding under a suit. Sure. Like I don't have very many at this point because I just have never, I haven't needed them lately. Here's another one. Great. Saturday morning soccer. Yeah, you know what it is?
Starting point is 00:17:26 How are you spending your Saturday morning? What time do you get up for Saturday morning European soccer? Well, it depends on the game. I mean, this coming Saturday, Man U plays at 6.30, so your boy's going to be up at 6.30. You're really getting up at 6.30 for that? Yeah. I get up earlier on
Starting point is 00:17:43 weekends than I get up on weekdays. I don't have it listed on here, but the way you say Premier, Prem-er, or whatever the shit it is. Is it Prem-er? Yeah. Prem-er League. I hate that. I hate that.
Starting point is 00:17:55 That's how 21 Savage does it. Did you see his attorneys released a statement? No. They said he came here when he was seven. To Atlanta. He what here? He came here. he was seven to atlanta he what here he came here gross i guess can you do that yeah i take that back you're talking about seven years so that's my official 21 savage is he just sitting in the clink right now no i think he got out okay and they were saying he's never been arrested for whatever they i don't
Starting point is 00:18:22 know that's just all i'm gonna say So if he came here when he was seven, if he went to Atlanta when he was seven, that's plenty of time to get ingrained in the Atlanta culture and claim Atlanta. In my opinion. I'm not from Atlanta, so I don't fucking know. I think he can claim Atlanta. I'm claiming USA, and I got here when I was one.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Dude, someone sprayed his block when he was 21. He got got six times. Yeah. Pulled out the tule on him. him in usa and i got here when i was one dude someone sprayed his block when he was 21 he got got six times yeah pulled out the tule on him i was told that i was told that he shot somebody he or he killed somebody with the gun that they'd shot him with i thought we looked last episode i looked this up because i i thought i remembered that he had killed someone in self-defense but all i could find was that he was shot himself six times on his 21st birthday in 2013. I don't know. I can't appropriate this street culture right now.
Starting point is 00:19:14 Do you have more street cred if you've been shot or if you've shot someone? I don't know. I feel like both go pretty far in the streets jay-z said he respects the shooter really that's what he said yeah damn i don't i don't want to find out no i hope i'm not in a situation where either of those happen to me because my street credit's fine right now um oh here's one. And I don't even know how to package this. But just, I know it's changed in recent weeks,
Starting point is 00:19:50 but just, in my opinion, your worst ongoing bit, you're just Game of Thrones, refusal to watch Game of Thrones. And just, oh, it just infuriates me because all I want to do is talk about Game of Thrones because there's nothing better to somebody who's watched it than somebody who's just getting into it because you can talk about it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:08 And you get those, oh, I can't wait for you to watch this one and this one. But you are just the worst. Wink twice if you've watched beyond episode one. Okay. Okay. You just Coltoned him like Colton did me. You're so aggravating. Is it more aggravating just because you know that I watch reruns of Frasier all the time?
Starting point is 00:20:30 Because I feel like that would be more aggravating. You have an entire series of what most people believe to be the best show of all time waiting for you, and you're watching reruns of an average sitcom. Just say one of the best shows. An average sitcom that ended years ago. No, no, no. Don't say average. Frasier is in the...
Starting point is 00:20:50 It's on the... Why am I blanking right now? It's on the... Mount Rushmore? Mount Rushmore of comedic sitcoms. It's not. Yeah, it is. He won a ton of Emmys for that.
Starting point is 00:21:03 He won all the Emmys. He did. He shut out Seinfeld. He was like, yo, these are mine. Come on! I just won an Emmy! Fraser is on my list. Get in my car and drink some coffee! On the Will DeVries starter kit. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:21:19 Fraser being, like, probably the number one. So is Candlewicks. Oh, God. You've got to trim those bitches. I don't know why you're so into candle wicks and reminding everyone to trim them all the time. But it's become a part of your personality at this point. I'm saving lives. I'm extending the life of your scented candles.
Starting point is 00:21:39 I'm reducing your cleanup when it comes to soot. It's just all around. I can't think of a reason why you wouldn't trim your wick. Your entire brand is like the season of fall. Like when I think of you, I think of fall. That's a big compliment.
Starting point is 00:21:53 But like... Oatmeal, candles. Fall with like a couple filters slapped on it and it just, it looks like a... Almost like a Twilight movie. I don't know. Like here's a forest. I don't know. I know what you're talking about you don't say i don't know how to put this into like there's certain like it's almost like in like uh maybe game of thrones but i'm thinking of lord of the rings
Starting point is 00:22:15 like they have different filters for like helms deep and stuff yeah it just looks different oh that's another one what's the his filter vis visio or visco visco the visco f2 filter yeah you're a filter you're the king of filters yeah you know i didn't put this on my list but just being really good at taking iphone pictures it should be on here it's called iphoneography dylan wow you're so good at it that when i see you post like one out of the blue i can't tell if you're laughing when you post it because you know it's so ridiculous or if you post like one out of the blue, I can't tell if you're laughing when you post it because you know it's so ridiculous or if you're like, this is a really good one.
Starting point is 00:22:50 And like, it is a really good one, but it's still funny that you're doing it. I can't tell how serious you are when I see it. I tweeted a photo one time. This was like, honestly, probably three years ago. This was when Duda was down here working and I posted a photo of him on Twitter and somebody's like,
Starting point is 00:23:04 did you filter that photo of duda you took and i was like yeah i filter every single photo i never thought it was weird until someone called me out for it every every photo pretty much yeah every photo you take goes to the visco out not every photo but the good ones okay some get left on the cutting room floor, but your boy, yeah, I stay. You should release those on Patreon. Yeah, maybe. Here's one. Obscure and bougie products, foods, drinks.
Starting point is 00:23:37 You, I don't know how you do it. You are very good at mentioning things, usually on Twitter, things that I have never heard of. And you're like, oh, yeah, I'm in wherever you are. Ketosis? Like a jade roller. A what? Oh, you don't know what jade rolling is? You fucking loser. A jade roller?
Starting point is 00:23:53 That explains why you're so wrinkly. Goddamn, dude. Holy shit. You're not wrinkly. You know what I'm talking about, right? I attribute this to my job before this because I was working for a company that sold a lot of luxury goods. And so I started gaining this ridiculous knowledge of high-end stuff that, one, I can't afford. And two, that nobody should know that much about.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Do you use Google or do you actually know the stuff that you're talking about? I know a lot of stuff. Okay. you're talking about i know this i know a lot of stuff okay it's just weird and it stands out to me as one of your uh your bits that you do i was told i was scrolling instagram one day on my computer and uh dan rejester former tfm writer video guy who is that jack hammer bro yes yes yes he was uh he was standing behind me and he just looked at me he goes our instagram feeds look so much different i thought yeah that makes sense because it's dan shirtless with like a bandana on yeah and like a gym mirror well and like i'm sure he's following like creatine accounts and shit and i'm following like goop creatine dan's move was to post a
Starting point is 00:25:02 picture that was really douchey like a gym gym. You know, he's looking ripped or whatever. But then in his caption, he would try to be self-deprecating with it to soften the blow, thus getting away with posting an actual douchey picture. And somehow he pulled it off. Yeah, it's great. It's a hedge. Good for him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Caption game, very strong. Yeah. Do you remember when we went to the player championship and how jacked Dan was? He was enormous. Yeah. Yeah. He's a big dude, man dude man i know but it was just like he's all trapped it's almost like he's dropping back that's such a he would his yeah that's the highest compliment you can pay him no but what dan would say when he listens nah my my traps are trash right now like um trying hard to be yuppie scum i is it trying hard or is it just being raised like that for like 30 years you definitely play it up and that that kind of coincides with the whole obscure bougie thing that i just mentioned yeah people people get certified mad online about this because like but i don't think they realize that deep down I am kind of just like scum. I don't know. Being raised in Harbor Springs, Michigan, it kind of imposes some certain things on you that you kind of think are normal and then you move out and you're like, oh, I was sheltered for so long.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Yeah. Hashtag Will So hashtag will so white no no no i just have one more and we don't we've discussed it a lot on this show so uh just being beta a beta cuck which you seem to embrace for some reason the beta role i'm fine let me speak for will will will selective in who he lets call him a beta and i get it yeah there's some people who call like when we say it it's like okay yeah we know he calls himself that i know but when like some random dude on like uh wherever calls him that it's like hey man like you're you're doing it you're coming from a different place yeah i am selective thank you i i'm like that too with something i don't like it when yeah if some if one of you says it it doesn't bother me at all if some random dude tries to like
Starting point is 00:27:10 come at me and like it's it's just low-hanging fruit when it comes to on twitter responding being like well that's because you're a beta cook i don't and one thing i don't like is i don't like cuck i just think it's like i just i associate it with like the alt-right associated yes with like alt-right people saying it and so like if you say beta that's better than saying beta cuck because i'm just like all right now i'm just envisioning you with like a tiki torch outside of some state capital maga hat yeah like come on i thought you're gonna say a tiki torch outside of some steakhouse. You just got done at the rally, so you just have your tiki torch still.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Just roll up to Outback. Do you think those guys use their tiki torches still? Like they're in their backyard? Man, you have to think so. They're just surrounded by chimenea. What a bunch of fucking losers those guys are. That was a weird internet time. What about like the Tiki Torch, like,
Starting point is 00:28:06 producers and stuff were probably just like, oh shit. Not going to look for them. It's either really good news for them or really bad news because they either had like a, like a bunch of people
Starting point is 00:28:14 buying Tiki Torches because they're alt-right or like people stopped buying them because they didn't want to look like they were alt-right. I still make the Tiki Torch joke every time I see them. You did one on Super Bowl Sunday
Starting point is 00:28:24 over at the news house. Yeah. I should probably let it go. Because they had tiki torches in the backyard. Correct. If you have a fuckboy haircut and a bunch of tiki torches in your backyard, people are like, is that guy? Is he?
Starting point is 00:28:37 Is he really racist? What's his deal? This was good. Like I said, that concludes my list. I'm going to leave it there. I think this was fun. How did we do? I think pretty good.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Anything notable that we left out? Yeah. What? Portrait mode photos of Rosie. Well, we talked about the photography skills. Sock. You're a human sock. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:04 Yeah. For me, if I were to do me, it would have been like athleisure. Detroit sports, maybe. Yeah, but I don't rep it too hard because I don't think that's what my followers want, so I keep those takes inside. And also, the teams are so bad right now that it's almost pointless to even bother watching. Yeah, you don't put the D on your back. Also, the teams are so bad right now that it's almost pointless to even bother watching.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Yeah, you don't put the D on your back. Yeah, I never thought about how you say the D, and I would say the D. That's interesting. You could say the Deet. Maybe that's proof that I don't put it on my back. I feel bad about that. Your back is wide open. Just waiting for the D to get on there. Should we talk about what everyone wants us to talk about yeah this will be a fun one so who can
Starting point is 00:29:49 someone explain what happened yes because i don't know the full story i just know that i've been tagged in it a thousand times i i read one article okay so this is just one i there are hundreds written i'm sure yeah but a man was just hiking by himself running running so he already fucked it up he's running by himself and a a juvenile mountain lion straight up attacked him from behind from behind i think he got bit on the face serious injuries non-life threatening thank you his face was kind of messed up a little bit. But basically he got his hands around this mountain lion's neck and choked him out to death, killed him, suffocated him. And again, it was not a fully grown mountain lion, which...
Starting point is 00:30:38 80 pounds. So a Randy-sized mountain lion. Okay. And how big do they get? They can get over 120 pounds. They've had some rare ones that are 200 pounds, which, holy shit. Like a 200-pound cat is just insane. I guess that's where you find them in Africa, like real lions.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Right here, I just Googled mountain lion size. A male is 120 to 220. Good God. A female is 120 to 220. Okay. Good God. A female is 64 to 140. So this was a pretty small one. This was at least 80 pounds. It attacked the man
Starting point is 00:31:11 and managed to inflict bite wounds to his face and wrist before the tables turned and the man managed to suffocate it with his bare hands. He caught that cat slipping. Yeah, he choked him out. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:31:21 This kind of makes me sad. Why? It's all fun and games uh talking about whether or not dylan can kill big cats until like you actually imagine some dude just choking out a mountain lion yeah you hate to see that happen but if a mountain lion is trying to come for your neck you have to survival of the fittest sure so they they noted a couple times uh what may have triggered this Had he been just walking, it probably wouldn't have been a big deal. But the fact that he was running, it probably triggered an instinct, a hunting instinct in the cat.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Yeah. So. Did this guy know that it happened or was it like an ambush? I think it was an ambush. It got him from behind. He said he heard something and turned around. Oh, okay. So it wasn't like it hit him out of nowhere to my knowledge.
Starting point is 00:32:04 I want to see this dude. The dude... So it says... This is a tweet from the CPW Northeast region. I think this is the Colorado Parks something. It says, We can let you know that the runner is doing well considering his ordeal
Starting point is 00:32:17 and will need a few days to decompress before deciding if he will speak publicly. We hope you can appreciate and respect why he needs time. This guy's going on Rogan. He said, we can also confirm the lion in this case was less than a year old, and we may be able to determine age a bit more tightly in the final reports. The cat also tested negative for rabies, which is very welcome news.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Again, I would like to point out that a mountain lion is the same as a cougar, is the same as a puma. Right. They are the same breed of animal. Really? They're just called different things based on where they're located regionally. What do you think is the tightest name? Cougar.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Cougar? Mountain lion sounds pretty tight, too. That's interesting, because you normally go for the younger demographic. Yeah, some people would say that you're the male cougar. Come on. I've always said this, that the scariest thing about a mountain lion is that it's a lion in the mountains yeah it's a lion that lives in the mountains it's pretty crazy you do say that man i like it because it's to the point but puma puma is exotic don't you
Starting point is 00:33:20 think of exotic when you hear puma i just think of ricky fowler now look i hate i hated the part about it being not a fully grown yeah i wish it was cat because still still this is still an amazing it's still it's still a big story and it's still i think it it firms up my stance on you know how humans can defend themselves against a large predatory cat being that we have thumbs you know hands and thumbs and long arms we can extend out and of course we have a human brain and all these things you know it make it makes us pretty defensible against a an animal like this yeah i think this is an anomaly i think he should have made peace with it try to domesticate it and bring it in as one of his own. I really want to know what this dude looks like. If he's in shape, how old he is.
Starting point is 00:34:09 If you're doing mountain running. How big he is. You're doing mountain running, you're probably in pretty good shape. Now it's going to really come back and bite me in the ass if this is just some dude who just started training. Or if he was 65. It's like me who's trying to do his New Year's resolution. If it was like Brian Urlacher just running through getting some cardio in, it wouldn't be as impressive.
Starting point is 00:34:33 I'm hoping it's like some ex-Army Ranger. Yeah. Or just some badass. Imagine being attacked by something like this and having your hands around his neck just choking it out. Here's the thing. I don't know how. They said serious wounds on his face and stuff the the obviously you've got the cat's teeth that'll you know bite through your flesh the
Starting point is 00:34:53 scary thing is like one swipe from his claws like on your neck like that could do you in like a a claw to any the wrong part of your body whether it it's like your thigh or your neck, you're done. You're just squirting. That's what it sounds like. Yeah. So this guy was probably lucky. He definitely was lucky. When you have your hands around an animal's neck,
Starting point is 00:35:15 an animal like this, it's going to do whatever it can to get you off. So I didn't picture it like that. I'm reading... No, right now I'm reading... I pictured it like headlock choke. On National Geographic, it says that he originally had it in a headlock
Starting point is 00:35:26 and then he started giving it a noogie. There was no noogie? Yeah, he gave it a noogie. Why'd he do that? Yeah, and then he trucked it down to a river, like a river on the base of the mountain. He was just bullying this thing? And he gave it a swirly before he choked it out.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Did he stuff it in a locker afterwards? Yeah. Originally, they couldn't find the lion, but when the scientists were trying to find one that they had tagged earlier that day they found it in a locker just sitting in the middle of the mountain didn't need to put a bunch of fertilizer in the cougar's lion uh locker yeah the cougar cougar like unlocked it and it just poured on them where does a cougar rank on the like the big cat scale of just being badass third i think it goes. African lion, jaguar, cougar. You're leaving out a tiger, sir.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Ooh, fair. Maybe fourth. To me, tiger's number one. Tigers are the biggest, I think. I think they're bigger than lions. I think you're right, but... Tigers are so tough. I'll go tiger or lion, jaguar.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Jaguar gets you. You're done. Cougar's fourth. Cougar's fourth, yeah. It's top five now. I'll go tiger or lion, jaguar. Jaguar gets you, you're done. Cougar's fourth. Cougar's fourth, yeah. It's top five. Jaguars are... I think jaguars are... The dopest of their tigers.
Starting point is 00:36:32 They're like... They're smaller, but they're... You're correct about the tiger versus lion thing. They're bigger than lions? I think traditionally, yes. They're thick boys. Yeah. So, I have a couple different charts up.
Starting point is 00:36:47 This one has lions over tiger. think they go back size or like actual size wins so but i mean i don't know i need to i need to learn more about big cats which what what are the most vicious like what are the most violent i don't i don't know what do you like against humans or just aggressive yeah like what's the most aggressive big cat dude I
Starting point is 00:37:08 dude jaguars in the jungle like that's a thing that'll wreck your shit dude every now and then there's a video what about panthers a video hits the internet of a jaguar
Starting point is 00:37:17 just get loose in an Indian village and just wreck and shop dude they they just go crazy one just it just happened a few days ago I think
Starting point is 00:37:23 it's like they're on bath salts. They just go, and they don't, they go, they'll swipe one dude, then they run across and jump on a roof. And they, yeah, they'll scale a little building. Start doing cartwheels, and then they just start fucking. They're wild. Dude, what about panthers? Why isn't anyone talking about panthers?
Starting point is 00:37:38 Wait, I think a panther is also a cougar. I thought, yeah, that was the same. Is it? Yeah. Well, then there's a black panther. I'm looking at pictures of black panthers right now that's a sleek looking motherfucker dude yeah they're tight dude majestic damn what what what are you seeing nothing i'm just i shouldn't have googled this i'm just there's a cat there. There's a big game cat that has no eye.
Starting point is 00:38:05 It's making me sad. It's fucking wild, baby. So, Dylan, do you think in this situation that you could have had the same fate as this runner who killed the cat? Oh, absolutely. Okay. Dylan can't run. He would have been gassed.
Starting point is 00:38:19 An 80-pound cougar? Come on. You'd have been like, you wouldn't even be able to run by it with your bum-ass knee. That's true. Thing would have gotten you. He like my no you wouldn't even run a hundred pounds on your bum ass knee that's true thing would have gotten you he would have put you in a leg lock man a tiger gets up to 670 pounds that's that's insane it's big no one's surviving tiger let's just say that obviously no one's tigers are badass okay let's just say this on scale of survivor survivability
Starting point is 00:38:43 survivability lions and tigers we're talking full grown here not juvenile no you're not surviving hand to hand yeah jaguar i don't think so either definitely not jaguar jaguars might they've got like one of the strongest bites in the world this might be the the beta in me but i would like to think that like my first instinct wouldn't be to fight back but it would be to like tame it and like do something and then i would just immediately get got i would think that i was making some headway and it's like all right we're like chris pratt and then all of a sudden it's just like wow i bet i could hold my own against a mountain lion full grown yeah i don't think so hold my own they i think maybe i'm full of shit. Maybe. Cheetah's your best bet.
Starting point is 00:39:26 A cheetah, like I said, I wouldn't even train for my fight against a cheetah. Like somebody, dude, that's how you get caught. You might get clipped. I'm not worried about a cheetah at all. You should be. No. Dude, they got the hands. See, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:39:40 They don't. Man, once he puts his hands on you, dude. Again, I will point out that they don't have hands. You just don't understand. Somebody pointed this out yesterday on Twitter, but cheetahs low-key have small hands. They do have small hands. Apparently I said that at one point in my life. I have small hands.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Yeah. Fuck, a cheetah. Come on. Get out of here with a cheetah. I think you would be surprised at the cheetah's athleticism. I'd rather get in a fight with a cheetah than a Rottweiler. Fuck, that's fair. Really?
Starting point is 00:40:13 Yeah. Cheetahs just aren't strong. They're lanky. They're built for speed and running you down in the open field. They don't scrap, man. Okay, where are you fighting the cheetah? Are you fighting it in an octagon or are you fighting it on his turf? Does it really matter?
Starting point is 00:40:28 Yes. Why? I'm not going to try to outrun it. Because if that thing gets a... If you're in an octagon, it's easier to kill. Definitely. Because you can stalk it and it tires it out mentally. And then you can just go in for the kill.
Starting point is 00:40:40 I mean, if we're in an open field, he's just going to run away and I can't catch him. Well, hypothetically, this thing's not going to run away. He's not going to run away and I can't catch him. Well, hypothetically, this is not going to run away. He's not going to run away. That's what they do. They run. If you put me in this podcast studio with a cheetah, I could kill it. I believe that. But if I'm in the open, if I'm out in the open, it's probably going to get me.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Because I'm not going to be able to stalk it. I like that we have the exact same argument once every six or seven months. I know. Well, new listeners are probably like how do they know so much about killing cheetahs in confined spaces it's like well we've looked this up numerous times well we shelf the topic and then something happens like yeah i mean like a mountain lion 100 yeah and people like it i like it it's fun you guys hear that let's just say this hold on one thing though i want to make sure that
Starting point is 00:41:23 bear bears though that's out of the question oh yeah I'm not fucking with a bear no a polar bear might be the baddest animal on the planet
Starting point is 00:41:32 polar bear's the only animal I believe one of the only animals to actually hunt humans that is correct is there anything cooler which is insane than when you see like
Starting point is 00:41:39 on like National Geographic or something when you see a polar bear just covered in blood yeah it's so tight yeah and then they remind you that like their home is melting and then you get sad on National Geographic or something, when you see a polar bear just covered in blood. It's so tight. Yeah, and then they remind you that their home is melting,
Starting point is 00:41:49 and then you get sad. There's nothing sadder than seeing when they flash to a polar bear who is like one-third of its body weight, and it's just walking around just looking for food, but there's nothing. But then it's cool to see them enjoying Coca-Cola out there. How do they get it down there for all those polar bears i don't know it's weird because you wouldn't expect a polar bear to be you know taking in that much sugar yeah but they are yeah they drink out of the glass bottles too
Starting point is 00:42:14 you think they recycle those i hope so i do yeah you can't just like throw them into the melted ice caps no that's just making a bad situation worse. It's irresponsible. Yeah, polar bear I think is taking you for sure. Yeah, me and 20 other people at the same time. That's a badass animal. You don't fuck with a polar bear. If you see one... The last one I would want to fight is a black bear
Starting point is 00:42:42 because I know it's not the most badass, but I know it would still take me. And it would be like a slower, painful death, as opposed to like a grizzly that I think would just rip me, like, you know, rip my head off with its claws or just bite my head off. Black bear, it's kind of scared of humans a little bit, but he's still going to swipe me. So it's going to be, I'm going to bleed out. Like my intestines are going to be laying on the ground. But of course, the last animal I want to get in a scrap with is a silverback gorilla
Starting point is 00:43:07 yeah because it would pull your limb from limb yeah which i think would be it would pull your dick i think that would be a little unpleasant i don't know if gorillas go for the dick i know the chimps definitely go for the big dick big dick they're they fight dirty they're gonna grab your piece and they're gonna like they're gonna play with it they're gonna helicopter it and then they're gonna rip it off and and shove it in your mouth. They just go straight for the dick. Then they're going to rip your fingers off. You don't want that.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Probably put your own thumb in your butt and it's just going to be miserable. They're going to humiliate you. Guys, I think after all this talk, we need to step into somewhere. Cool off a little bit. Maybe steam it up a little bit. You don't go in there to cool off. I know. That's why I went back on it.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Dave, get over here. Dude, what happened to your dick? Did it get ripped off? Yeah. Yeah, I got in a fight with a silverback gorilla. Damn. A chimp was there, too. He went for my dick.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Also, the chimp might low-key throw its own poop at you. Yeah, that's... Just really... Like, stop disrespecting me so much. Like, dude, you won. I tapped. Yeah. It's over the hell, dude.
Starting point is 00:44:05 I was at a dig and covered in shit. Come on. Dave, you wanted to steam on something. And knowing that we're in the steam room right now, what did you have? Here's the deal. Part of me wanted to go... This would be a situation
Starting point is 00:44:21 where I think I could go to Twitter and complain about these brands and be justified but at the risk of being roasted by people in this room and probably Barstool Big Cat I'm not going to do that so I'm just going to steam on it real quick just steam
Starting point is 00:44:36 sigh I'm unable to access my HBO Go I recently added HBO I didn't have it for a Go. I recently added HBO. I didn't have it for a while, and now I added it back. I didn't have a job for a while. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:52 I like that that was the expense you cut. Dude, 17 bucks a month. That's too much. DirecTV. Here's the people in my crosshairs. DirecTV and HBO. Have you tried logging in through HBO now? No. Those are separate accounts, right?'re different totally different here's my different though so so i go to activate it and it does the thing on your smart tv where it sends you
Starting point is 00:45:17 it gives you a code so you go log on to hbo go dot this is not just hbo this is everything yeah pretty much so i go to activate it i enter enter the code. Then it says, choose your provider. I choose direct TV. I log in, I'm able to log in. And then it tells me, gives me the same screen every time it says, we are unable to verify your HBO subscription. Please call this number. Uh, this has been about 11 days. I've been on the phone for probably a total of three and a half hours with DirecTV. HBO won't talk to me because they don't do HBO Go. HBO Go, you can only get customer support through email. So I've told this story to four or five different people at DirecTV. They've sent it up the chain. They don't know what's going on. HBO keeps telling me to ask for a supervisor at DirecTV.
Starting point is 00:46:10 I call DirecTV back. Every time I call them back, they start me at the bottom. It's like they don't have notes on my account. So I have to retell this. And I get more and more frustrated. I don't like treating people badly on the phone, but you can sense the frustration. Some of the customer service agents are better than others,
Starting point is 00:46:29 and they're like, look, I get it. The thing that really pissed me off was the last guy, who I thought was making some headway. He had me do some stuff, reboot my genie twice, and he's like, it should come back within 24 hours. What the fuck is a genie? That's what they call their receiver. I kind of hate it.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Anyway, it didn't work. He, in the middle of him telling me this, he asked me if I had purchased their, essentially for eight bucks a month, their insurance to where if they have to send a tech out, they won't charge me. And he's like, so like, for example, if we have to send a technician out to check your stuff, it'll be like a hundred dollar charge. And I said, well, time out. I go, sir,
Starting point is 00:47:09 sir, sir, I'm sorry. I got to stop you right there. Um, I'm paying you guys $17 a month for something that I can't use. I've been on the phone with you for hours. No one can fix it, but I should pay you a hundred dollars to have somebody come out and see if there's a problem with my equipment. I was like, nah, dude. I was like, that's insulting. I told him, I was like, that's insulting, and here's the deal. If we can't fix this,
Starting point is 00:47:35 I know, this is BillMcCracken.gif. He's real scared. I said, I'm going to cancel DirecTV if you guys can't fix this. You should say, if you can't fix this, I'm going to hit you with a Steam Room segment. And I'm putting them on blast right now. They deserve it.
Starting point is 00:47:47 So this past weekend, I was trying to log into NBC Sports. As you know, I was trying to watch some soccer in the morning on my cell phone. I went through numerous rounds of trying to do this on my cell phone, and I was trying to log in,
Starting point is 00:47:58 told me my password wasn't correct when I know that it was. So finally, I figured out that if I go into another app on my phone, I can add a sub account with a new password. Is this NBC Gold? No.
Starting point is 00:48:09 No. Just regular NBC. So I finally fucking log in using my sub account that I've given all access to. And I log in. This is actually like a 45. I've missed the first half at this point. And I'm laying there and I click on the game to watch it. And it says, you are not a
Starting point is 00:48:26 subscriber to this channel as someone who is definitely a subscriber i was just like i don't know what to do anymore i can't do this it's the most frustrating thing in the world it also like logs you out regularly when you actually get into these things yeah that pisses me off it's like you can you can choose to stay logged in for two weeks and it's like well can i choose to stay logged in forever so i don't have to deal with this bullshit every time yeah type in the damn code on my old ass apple tv using the remote that doesn't have any buttons besides like me just going like z b oh i hate that but what the hell there has to be a simpler way. So I tried it.
Starting point is 00:49:05 So they sent me, for some reason, they sent me to the billing department, one of the customer services agents. And, like, she was like, I'm not sure why you got sent to me. I was like, well, why I got you here. Can we talk about how I'm paying $17 a month and I can't use it? Is there any? I was like, I think I need a refund. And they're like, she was like, yeah, you know, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:49:25 But unfortunately, until this matter is resolved, we can't do that. Okay. She knows the rest of you can't. She's like, yeah, that's fair, but that's not happening. And all I want to do is go back and, oh, another thing. HBO On Demand. Do we need to put some more water in this thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:44 HBO On Demand. Dylan, pour some more water in this thing yeah HBO on demand Dylan pour some water on the rocks none of the old shows source it says this show is not available
Starting point is 00:49:52 so I can't go back and watch old Sopranos or The Wire that's all I want to do is go watch old shows I'll be honest I don't even know
Starting point is 00:50:01 who's TV I don't even know who's HBO I'm logged into right now on my Apple TV but thank God for that person I don't even know whose TV, I don't even know whose HBO I'm logged into right now on my Apple TV, but thank God for that person. I don't pay for it. I'm trying to pay for this service.
Starting point is 00:50:11 I'm trying to not be the guy who uses someone else's credentials. How annoying is it that I don't pay for it and mine works flawlessly? They're about to lose my business. They should, Dave. I'm pissed off. Hey, I don't want to spend a lot of time on this question, but I just want to ask and get a five-second answer. How's the new season of True Detective been?
Starting point is 00:50:29 Speaking of HBO. Good. Okay. Better than season two. It's not hard. No. And to quote John Duda, I don't know how they're doing it without Vince Vaughn.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah. Vince, I mean, he is that. When you think of True Detective as a series, you thinkince vaughn are you watching it dylan i am not what'd you have to add dylan nothing i thought you just said you wanted to add one thing no oh never mind then it's very good i'm and i know i'm paying i'm getting to watch regular hbo but the point is i want the, I want the entire catalog. Yeah, that's what you're paying for. I just want it to work, man.
Starting point is 00:51:10 $17 a month is too much. It is too much, and I don't want to spend all these hours on the phone at night with your customer support people. Time is money. They don't contact you. They tell you they're going to call you back. They don't call you back. It's really annoying. Nah.
Starting point is 00:51:25 You're officially on the list that's like, all right, when I get this guy, I'm just going to divert him somewhere else. I don't even get angry. I just sound completely beaten down. Like, I'm like, okay, look. They can sense in my tone that I am just a half, a shell of a man.
Starting point is 00:51:42 I'm sorry, man. It's a beating. I've been there. I know how you man. I'm sorry, man. It's a beating. I've been there. I know how you feel. I apologize. Let's talk about our friends at cricket. I'm going to go take a shower.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Let's get out of the steam room. Let's shower off real quick. And then let's go to our lockers and let's put on our cricket polos with maybe our cricket long-sleeve players shirts, a tennis sweater, and even their collared sweater.
Starting point is 00:52:04 You down with that? I'm down. I want to walk out of this locker room looking fresh to death yeah that's a good way to do it as everyone knows valentine's day is coming up do you guys have plans i do not do you have a you don't have a date dylan i don't have a date i have no plans for valentine's day what a loser sally made a resi for us uh if and i want to rancho no no you don't they don't have resis. Everyone knows that. I bet Sally could get one. Yeah, I mean, she's the customer service person that's like, okay, Tyler, let me talk to you real quick.
Starting point is 00:52:33 And then Tyler's day is done. Tyler's fucked. If you want to look sharp on Valentine's Day, you don't need to look any further than Cricut. C-R-I-Q-U-E-T shirts dot com. Again, that's C-R-I-Q-U-E-T shirts dot com. Again, that's C-R-I-Q-U-E-T shirts dot com. They've got it all right now. They've got this new spring weight long sleeve player shirt that your boy is about.
Starting point is 00:52:54 I'm finna cop that, by the way. Yeah. Everyone knows I like the long sleeve polo. Come on. I love a good long sleeve polo. Will, have you seen the colored sweater? Because I feel like that's kind of something you'd be into. Will, have you seen the colored sweater? Because I feel like that's kind of something
Starting point is 00:53:06 Did you say collared or colored sweater? Collared. Collared. It has a collar on it. You originally said colored sweater. I definitely thought
Starting point is 00:53:13 you said colored sweater. Oh, no. I said collar. I was like, hopefully it has some sort of hue to it. I mean, yeah, this slaps.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Anytime somebody subs a set of buttons where there could be a zipper, you immediately get a fit off. This thing is legit, like, very tight. It's game over. Wow. It's game over.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Holy shit, I'm, like, just now seeing this. They have the new cotton cashmere tennis sweater. Like, this thing's heat. Oh, my God. It's got, like, colored ribbing. This is amazing stuff. I'm in love with it. If I don't have this sweater by the end of next week,
Starting point is 00:53:50 you're allowed to punch me in the face. That's how serious I am about getting this. Can I really? You can punch my face in. All right, noted. Yeah. If you want to get 20% off, that's, again, great deal. These companies giving 20% off,
Starting point is 00:54:01 they really shouldn't do that. But if you're one of our listeners and you're circling back at checkout, you get 20% off site-wide. It doesn't matter what the product is. Everything. Look fresh for Valentine's Day. If you're a mommy, perfect Valentine's Day gift.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Oh, yeah. Get this colored sweater. Again, colored. It's not just for golf. I wear these things to dinner all the time. And it's never too early to start planning for spring. I know it's still February and people are still cold and shit. But before you know it, spring fits are going to be needed to get off.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Sure. Make it happen. Cricketshirts.com. That's C-R-I-Q-U-E-T shirts dot com. We're going to do something I don't want to do. Can this be brief? Yes, it has to be brief. Because it doesn't deserve be brief because let's talk
Starting point is 00:54:45 about it doesn't deserve more than let's talk about the bachelor okay um what stands out in this episode that we even need to get into i mean the demi train rolls on yeah uh kaylin and weirdo face are like kind of just simmered now i guess they they put it to rest. Who's weirdo face? Bama Hanna. She's always making like... It always looks like Bugs Bunny just ate something really hot. She's got a pageant face. She's always making crazy faces. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:55:19 She found her little niche with the growl. And I really hate it. I hate everything about her can we talk about cassie real quick she doesn't get a lot of camera time especially up to this one-on-one date right like she she's definitely not a main player when it comes to the people that get a majority of the camera time those are like demi right kay, But she stunted on the entire world when she got it. Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Congrats on the sex you had. Dude, they just, they were all over each other. That was wild. They were all over each other. What we know about her is that Colton is enamored with her.
Starting point is 00:55:57 He loves her. She has great enamel. Does she have good teeth? Yeah. Can I talk about her real quick? Yeah. She has a enamel. Does she have good teeth? Yeah. Can I talk about her real quick? Yeah. She has a middle part. Her hair is always in her face.
Starting point is 00:56:12 She has a middle part. I really hate middle parts on girls. No. You're saying middle? Middle. No. Yeah, straight down the middle. No, that blanket statement is incorrect.
Starting point is 00:56:21 I can't. I hate it. I can't stand it. I didn't even notice. I think it's a full point deduction. No. Yeah. No deduction no yeah no no no some people it makes them look much better she on the gram i'm gonna grammar i don't look at this cassie yeah i can't do it i can't do it i so early on in the dude you could do it early on in the season she was getting massive hype and i never really understood why i'm not like i need to be clear. I'm not anti-Cassie.
Starting point is 00:56:47 I just don't get it yet. I'm not seeing it. The dots aren't connecting for me. And so I just have to have blind faith that my best friend Colton is in love with her. She's one of these girls that grows on you the more you kind of are around her not that i've been around her but the more the more we know of her and more screen time she gets it all kind of just makes more sense for me as we go on i see initial impression like oh that's a really pretty blonde woman but then as we meet her and get to know a little bit more like yeah she's kind of
Starting point is 00:57:22 great isn't no oh i totally disagree is she a speech pathologist yes yes that's very major shout out very noble just out there that's what my sister does dad i have nothing but tell her you said that that's that's difficult schooling tell her dave sent you oh she went to a lot of school for that um also has i thought her personality actually surprised me for the worst really during her date no date. No, I'm into Cassie. Her big admission was that she had sex before. She was like, yeah, I've had sex.
Starting point is 00:57:50 I don't know how I'm going to take that. That was weak. I was like, that's a reach? That was weak. Have you really had so little happen in your life that you have to talk about
Starting point is 00:57:56 having sex as your knock? She has a sister who's a model and is more attractive. Wow. How about the redhead girl just being like i'm so in love with you i'm leaving oh are you talking about uh lauren holly from dumb and dumber okay that's i mean yeah so samsonite samson like so she was just doing that to hope that like colton would beg her to stay and colton was just like oh you're crazy dude that was gotta go she that was weird she was on she was in the zone man she uh she went in there like
Starting point is 00:58:31 very determined it just did not go well what did she think she was gonna get like back to back one-on-ones she swung for the fences and she missed she went into the paint she thought she's gonna draw a foul at a minimum and like got no call she's just laying there hands up looking at the rest yeah ball's going the other way. Five on four. And Embiid's like he's got the ball pinned against the backboard
Starting point is 00:58:48 and he's like nah get out of here. It didn't go well. Immediate timeout. Yeah. She just botched that. It was such a it was such a
Starting point is 00:58:59 poorly timed and idiotic way to go about that entire situation. Too early in the season for this move. What are you doing? God, I actually, the more I think about it, I respect it.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Yeah, I mean, I'm going to probably regret saying this just based on the hair color of my girlfriend, but redheads are crazy. So, like, I get that she was just unhinged. I can say that. Damn. My mom's a redhead, too. Shouts to Nancy. You have reddish tones, too, you. My beard's got some red in it.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Yeah. Don't you know I'm loco? Wow. I don't. What else we got? There was no rose ceremony, so no one went home. Kirpa's got a band-aid on her chin that no one's talking about. Dude, they gotta talk about Kirpa.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Why is no one talking about the band-aid on her chin? You know where that's placed? That's a I got drunk and fell. Yeah. And scraped my chin on the concrete. I read something about it. Someone sent me a link on Twitter, I believe. She got like a mole removed or something?
Starting point is 00:59:48 She slipped on some rocks trying to get like a gram off or something, which was weird because they don't have their phones with them. Huh. I don't know. She slipped on a rock. Yeah, but I'm sure they have photographers there. Sure. Because they can't just not document the entire trip.
Starting point is 01:00:03 You're right. That's probably what it was then one thing that's weird about Bachelor Nation is the uptick in people from The Bachelor that post on Mondays I think that's part of the deal
Starting point is 01:00:12 I read I read about this on like the Reddit page like they post more on Mondays to be part of the narrative and kind of like smart
Starting point is 01:00:19 stoke the fire but it's now that I know about it it bugs me every time I see someone post they have to capitalize on their 15 minutes that's how they do it speaking of that I know about it, it bugs me every time I see someone post. They have to capitalize on their 15 minutes. That's how they do it.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Speaking of that, I noticed something last night and I don't really like it. Our friend JoJo and Jordan, her fiance, they have another account. It's a couple's account. And I'm not really sure I know what they're doing. I think they have a reality show coming up. Yeah, I think it's about flipping houses. Yeah, and it's just... Colton told us that.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Did he? And their account is JoJoJordanEngaged. And it's got over 100,000 followers. Reality TV romance turned true love. JoJo and Jordan are navigating life. Colon, engaged. Weren't they married yet? Because they're probably going to get content out of it, which I respect.
Starting point is 01:01:10 I said something to Colton. I was like, are you just going to be boring and flip houses like JoJo and blah, blah, blah? And he was like, yeah, but they're getting paid to do that so much. And I was like, oh, that makes sense. Our best friend, Colton. I'm trying to think of anything else
Starting point is 01:01:23 we're forgetting from this episode homegirl got her first kiss under the fireworks dude come barf nobody believes that girl uh she looked like that was not her first time kissing she that was like a hot technique was seasoned yeah she did the arm around like it was good yeah she i don't know that was awkward though that was so painful the entire time it's weird how like it's painful and how they do these long pauses, but they're really only like five seconds too long. All I could think about was, I guess it was Cassie and Colton when they were on their little private island.
Starting point is 01:01:55 That island's going to be gone in like five years due to climate change. Five years? It might be gone. It could have been gone ten minutes after if a big wave comes up. It was just a low tide. I think that's why. Yeah, is that even an island? Also, that boat that they went out on was loud as fuck.
Starting point is 01:02:08 That motor had to have been not fun. Because I could hear it. They couldn't even muffle it when they went through editing. I think we should move on from this. Yeah. I got nothing else. Special announcement, guys. This is big for us.
Starting point is 01:02:23 For the first time ever on the circling back podcast on our wednesday episode we have something that we love to do you've heard you heard us recap it on monday but today we are actually going to do it it's this weekend and fun presented by eisenhowers eisenhowers on rainy street if you're in downtown austin texas and you're not going to rainy street to hit up eisenhowers then you're just downtown Austin, Texas, and you're not going to Rainy Street to hit up Eisenhower's, then you're just a straight fool. Look, they're doing live music on Sundays and on Thursdays now, too. A little boy band cover band called PDA.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Maybe you've heard of them. Sign me up. They're not, to be clear, they're not little boys. They're full-grown boys. Yeah. It's men covering boy bands. Correct. Yeah, it's a little band, like a little boy band, not a little boy.
Starting point is 01:03:05 It's not a band made up of little boys. Like the homies not dressed up like Justin Timberlake. That would be very strange, especially in a bar setting. Let me say this.
Starting point is 01:03:12 If you are coming to Austin for a weekend trip, you should probably book your flight out on Monday just to go experience Sunday afternoon at Eisenhower's. It's the best.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Sunday day drinking. Jeez. As far as I'm concerned, it's the bar, both physically and metaphorically speaking, for Sunday day drinking in Austin. You might see us there very, very soon. I know. We need to let it rip there one Sunday.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Let's let it rip. Now that the weather's warming up a little bit, toss on some Patagonia baggies and a short sleeve button. That's another starter kit. Patagonia baggies. Although you've kind of been out on baggies. I haven't been wearing them as much. I've got some other shorts I've been wearing. I'm going to get my weekend out of the way because there's not much going on with me.
Starting point is 01:03:58 I will be at the ranch Friday and Saturday night. Wow. Friday night, Saturday night. Now is it a farm or a ranch? This is a ranch. Does it yield crops or a ranch this is this is a ranch does it yield crops or have fun activities it's it's activity based uh we we do grow a little bit of hay on there however we have some horses with the horses do you get the ag exemption what do you what kind of yeah there is an ag exemption good yeah i'm all in on ag exemption yeah i can tell i think it's
Starting point is 01:04:22 pretty easy to get an ag exemption yeah yeah we don't have any cattle however not yet not yet we will that's in the works i'm a big cow guy i like to eat them yeah yeah so that's all i have sunday what are you doing dave i want to play golf but i don't know if i can make it back to town in time i don't think i can well we'll be out these guys i think got a tea time well friday night i've really got no plans um i don't think I can. Well, we'll be out there. Because these guys, I think, got a tee time. Well, Friday night, I've really got no plans. I don't know if you guys know this, but I hopped back on my yoga journey yesterday. So I'm back in. So Saturday, I might catch an early morning yoga class.
Starting point is 01:04:57 Wow. Hot yoga only. Shout out to Black Swan. I'm a big flow guy. I'm not good at it, but I felt great yesterday after I did it until I got here and then I pounded a monster energy
Starting point is 01:05:08 so Saturday I really got nothing Sunday though Sunday I've got some golf plans early morning like at 8ish 8.15ish tea time
Starting point is 01:05:18 Will I think you might be in on this oh I'm in on it Dylan might be oh I'm in Sunday might be a big day I'm gonna try I really am I hope you can
Starting point is 01:05:25 make it. Because I think what I want to do is golf. I would love to do this. Don't we have a full foursome already? Am I not included? Who's the foursome? Oh, I don't know. I thought it was me, you, Klein, and Micah. Is Micah playing? I thought Micah was out. I thought he was out for Saturday, not Sunday.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Oh, fuck. We'll clarify. We can maybe roll five. Fuck it, dude. Oh, I hate going five. Dude, that's weird. We're rolling fives. I hate five. What if it means I stay home because you don't want to roll five deep? Then I might be watching the Tottenham Everton game. Dude, if you were to stay home because of five.
Starting point is 01:05:59 No, I hate five, though. Here's one thing I want to do. And this may not be this Sunday. I want to do a round, early morning round. Follow up that round. Go get some food. Follow up that food, assuming we're not covered in sweat. Maybe go get some beers.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Maybe go to Eisenhower's. Just go full day. Full Sunday. Dave, I'm all about doing that. I've been trying to do it. I know Will's going to have to go home and eat leftover chicken soup or something. Let's try to do that Sunday. Dave, I'm all about doing that. I've been trying to do it. I know Will's going to have to go home and eat leftover chicken soup or something. Let's try to do that Sunday. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 01:06:30 No, I'm not going out Sunday afternoon. Oh, God. I'll meet you at Rainy to have a beer at Eisenhower. I'm not doing the full. I'm going to add to your starter kit just being a damper on fun plants. You are a fun sponge. You're a wet blanket. You are a fun sponge. You soak it wet blanket. You are a fun sponge.
Starting point is 01:06:45 You soak it up. I'm 32, my dudes. I'm old. Oh, and how old are we? Dylan's 44. You're 46. And Dave is 33. I am up one.
Starting point is 01:06:53 34. 34. This weekend. Still early to mid, though. Friday night, your boy. Clear the schedule. I got nothing. I am intentionally not doing anything.
Starting point is 01:07:03 I would love to watch a movie of sorts. I'm going to Matt's El Rancho. I just already got to see it already. No, no, I'm not going to Matt's. I'm not going to Matt's. Saturday, as I said, I'm waking up hella early to watch some soccer. Then, if the weather is okay, and by okay I just mean anything but raining, I'm doing a park sesh with Rosie.
Starting point is 01:07:21 It's happening. I've been a big fan of doing the park lately. I have an early dinner reservation on Saturday night park sesh with Rosie. It's happening. I've been a big fan of doing the park lately. And I have an early dinner reservation on Saturday night because Sally has to work early on Sunday morning. So we're going out to dinner with her sister and her sister's husband.
Starting point is 01:07:36 And then I'm golfing. Sunday morning. Very excited. I would love it if my new Callaway Epic flash driver arrived in the mail in time for that golf round. That being said, I still am rocking a Callaway Epic and it still bombs. So I'm not too worried about it game-wise, but I would love to play with a new driver. It does, but I hope for your sake, because 2019, after I got this Epic Flash, I'm going BDO, big drives only.
Starting point is 01:08:02 Damn. I was mashing the regular Epic the other day, so with the flash, I can't even imagine what could happen. I just want it. I need it. Yeah, you were slapping the balls of that thing. What? You were just flicking them. Just flying. Just dropping dimes.
Starting point is 01:08:18 Either way, it's a big weekend ahead of us. I'm excited for this weekend. Man, I really want to make golf. Really, really do. Huh. Let me think. We're going to have to figure out this situation. Let me think. I'm going to go pledge trainer. I don't know if Falcon Head even lets you go five, so we
Starting point is 01:08:34 need to confront this student later. I thought it was Kaiser. No, it's Falcon Head in Lakewood. I'm going to go full pledge trainer, Dylan. Ready? Hey, figure it out find a way okay I don't care
Starting point is 01:08:48 just find a way okay don't ask me yes sir figure it out yes sir we're doing frat jokes and that's this weekend
Starting point is 01:08:55 of fun should we get out of here I enjoyed this podcast I think this was good this might be one of our better ones it was good it was a jam packed show
Starting point is 01:09:03 we got everything in that I thought we needed to I'm happy with it I give this a good. This might be one of our better ones. It was good. It was a jam-packed show. We got everything in that I thought we needed to. I'm happy with it. I give this a 9 out of 10. Hey, I don't know if this happened last podcast, but we officially hit the number we wanted to hit on Patreon. It happened last podcast. Oh, no, it didn't.
Starting point is 01:09:16 No, no, we had to record the last one at Dylan's. We hit 2,500. Yeah. And we're still growing. Next stop is three. Next stop is three. Just want to say thank you to everybody. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Absolutely. And thanks for dealing with the Patreon pay issue. That was definitely on their end, but they handled it really well, unlike DirecTV and HBO. They were pros about it. They emailed me directly. Very cool. But we're on Patreon. Go check it out.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Will's going to post his lost file photos on there. Patreon.com slash Circling Back podcast. Sign up. We're doing voicemails this Friday. Look out for just a regular segment on this Friday's episode too. Voicemails plus other stuff. Yeah. We're going to probably start splitting it up a little bit and do voicemails in addition to some other segments. So I don't give a shit if these Friday episodes go two hours. You think I give a, look at me, look at my eyes. Do I give a fuck? No, these are the empty eyes of a man who has no fucks left to give. I don't.
Starting point is 01:10:05 I left them in the steam room. Is your fuck tank on empty? All right, go follow Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram. Subscribe everywhere. Merch coming soon. Thanks, guys. Let that Patreon happen. Later.
Starting point is 01:10:16 Bye. Outro Music

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.