Circling Back - The Worst Of: Weekends

Episode Date: November 12, 2019

The premiere episode of "The Worst Of," a podcast telling the worst listener-submitted stories we could find. This week's theme, Weekends, gave us The Las Vegas Divorce Party, Ron Weasley & The Tale of The Arrested Nun, and a man who tried to get out of a DUI by spraying Axe Body Spray into his mouth. We also introduce The “Get In, Get Out, Be Tactical” Story of The Week and The “In Hindsight, Maybe That Wasn’t The Move” Move of The Week. To listen to every episode of The Worst Of, subscribe to the Optimized Tier on Patreon: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jingle bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, easy on the Pepsi. All right, we're back. What? Welcome to the Worst of Podcasts, featuring stories from listeners just like you. Can we talk about the beat? What happened there? Where did that come from? The beat dropped. Who made that?

Let's go! Who did there? Where did that come from? The beat dropped. Who made that? Let's go! Who did this? Who did this? Well, I took a trap remix of Jingle Bells and then I chopped and screwed it myself. I don't know if I was chopped and screwed. No one's doing that. Oh my God, that kind of went too hard. Dude, I know.

Holy shit. How hard did that go? I'm hyped. I'm glad I put the headphones on. If that's not playing at every ugly sweater party from now until the end of December, I'm out. Did I hear some Home Alone lines in there? You heard a lot of Home Alone.

You heard Home Alone. You got the Let's Go guy, whoever that coach is. Oh, my God. There's just a lot going on. Will, that was tight. Thank you. I need a full breakdown from someone about all the drops in that. I don't know what the...

I missed some. I missed the Let's Go. He chopped it. Dude, i think i might do a new one every single episode no i can tell you you think it sounds like a great idea please keep that i was having i was having just a blast just sitting on my at my kitchen counter yesterday just doing theme songs well i knew it was gonna it was gonna be fired when you texted me just to tease me about it well I knew you'd like it oh yeah oh I love it you said I wanna let you listen to it right now but it'll be better if we do it live I needed people to listen to it with

cause I got tired of just listening to it alone in my apartment so I was like yeah I need to talk to these guys you sent it to hashtag Chad yeah I sent it to Klein I sent an early version to Klein as well did he approve too? yeah then I came over we were working on a deck Yeah. I sent an early version to Klein as well. Did he approve too? Yeah.

Then I came over. We were working on a deck. And then Will showed me that. And it was fire. And then Will told me to have chicken tenders in the fridge. And then he's like, yeah, don't worry about it. Those are great. And so I had them. And then apparently Sally.

You had all of them apparently. Yeah, I had all of them. I did. You had four tendies? Yeah, I did. They were fantastic. They went hard. I wasn't supposed to. I feel like this is on tendies? Yeah, I did. They were fantastic. They went hard. I wasn't supposed to.

I feel like this is on Will more than you. Yeah, well, it was. To be fair, when Sally opened the fridge and said, oh, where'd the tenders go? I said, oh, I gave them to Brett. He was hungry and we were just working. She was like, oh, that's probably good. We didn't really need them anyway. Don't let her Twitter persona.

Don't let her. She was in an exposing mood last night. She dragged you on Twitter. She's been exposing you. Yeah, she's on one lately. Yeah, she was on one last night on Twitter. Sally, you her. She was in an exposing mood last night. She dragged you on Twitter. She's been exposing you. Yeah, she's on one lately. Yeah, she was on one last night. Sally, you got to chill, girl. She had time last night.

Apparently. If people are wondering right now why you're getting a Tuesday episode for free, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. This is a rare free ad-free episode. You don't see those. This is our chance to earn their business this is 100 content wow a lot of podcasts don't do 100 no you don't see that

uh this is the worst of podcasts this week we're covering worst weekends in the week's coming wedding next week we're doing the night before thanksgiving after that we're just doing straight up thanksgiving we got office holiday parties, holiday travel, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. I'll be honest, the best stories

that have come in so far outside of the worst weekend stories have been night before Thanksgiving. Makes sense. It makes all the sense in the world.

I might even include one of mine. I probably won't. Dylan, when's the last time you went out the night before Thanksgiving? Like 15 years ago

weirdly that's not a thing that we that I've done like none of my none of my friends no one I grew up with we just never did that however

Christmas Eve was a night that we went out see that's weird to me super weird agree I would go occasionally I would go to a friend's house

yes I would go to a friend's house and drink their parents expensive wine but we never went to a bar I don't even think bars are open in Harbor Springs on Christmas Eve. The bar we went to in Austin was the Tavern on Lamar. Did they do a special thing?

Was it Christmas Eve their thing? Yeah, yeah. And it was pretty much everyone from Austin. It wasn't just my high school. Everyone in Austin would go. Not everyone in Austin would go there, but that was the place that we went to Taiwan off. Yeah.

It was fun, man. Taiwan on? On? I thought it was on. Yeah, it's on. Yeah, it's Taiwan on. It's on, dude. I said off, didn't I?

It's on. It's like something else. I thought you were the grammar guy. Taiwan on. That's not a grammatical thing. I don't even know what that saying means.

I thought you were, yeah, it just means to get hammered, I think. Well, I know, but what's the origin of it? I've always assumed it had something to do with sailing. I don't even know what that saying means. Yeah, it just means to get hammered, I think. Well, I know, but what's the origin of it? I've always assumed it had something to do with sailing. I don't really know why. All I can think about, like, you know when you get a really good boot tie in,

you just kind of like, that last time, kind of yank on it? I don't think that's what it means. You have to think that that's not it. That's not it. That's kind of the vibe I get. When you're like, tie one on? I thought you were saying tie one on And it was like Taiwanese Maybe it's because

Whenever you tie a tie Or a bow tie On your tux You just get fucking shit faced Everyone knows that you're Just about to be invincible You're about to just go Did you say we have to go to

Our Christmas party In tuxes Yeah I did say that yeah Alright Gotta run a tux It's fine by me What'd we do

Texas tux What's that Is that Yeah what's that it's just a tux with boots oh and a bolo uh i don't think you can go bolo with tux although i'm sure someone could prove me wrong i have seen people do it it sounds aggressive the most recent wedding i went to there was a dude rocking a bolo but he kind of looked like a dude who like was trying to ruffle some feathers He didn't need to do that. He was doing a little too much Bolas fuck though. Oh, yeah I love a bolo are you guys triggered that Canadians kind of took the denim on denim?

Touches you don't and that's a Canadian touch. You don't know to touch this touch you know No, I'm okay with it. Okay. Yeah I've always known it as a Canadian tuxedo. I feel like I see it in Texas a lot, though. Yeah. Especially on girls with hats. They wear denim and denim. Well, denim's in right now. Big time.

Like, big time. I do enjoy the Sherpa denim jacket, but I don't know what I'm supposed to wear it with. Jeans? It's just all denim. I look stupid. I don't even know what you're talking about. It's like mine, but denim instead of the corduroy.

Oh, yeah. That's a great jacket. It is a great jacket, but I don't know what I would pair it with. Like an idiot. Wear jeans. Yeah. That's just all jean? Dude, shut up. All right, I'll just stop talking.

Don't try to reinvent the wheel. Just put it on. I'm trying to reinvent shit. With like a Marlboro t-shirt underneath? A Marlboro t-shirt? Yeah. You know, like the Marlboro t-shirt.. A Marlboro t-shirt? Yeah. You know, like the Marlboro t-shirt. Dude, it's like a vintage vibe that people, it's big in Austin.

Like, I'm going to go put on all my denim. I'm going to go walk around like South Congress and like go in like the stores that no one goes in and shit. Yeah, that's just not me. I think that's the point I'm trying to make here. Well, are you trying to fucking get a fit off or not? Yeah, I guess I am.

I don't know what this guy's problem is. I actually don't know what your fucking's problem is i i actually don't know what your fucking problem is i just i just want you all to be my friends i mean we are but just sometimes you make it difficult because it's just like this i think i'm nice to you guys all the time you're that friend that we just talk about endlessly when you're not there that's not true man i don't know i'm a good friend didn't you say you were drinking soco on soco no i never said that i never said that. I never said that. I thought you did.

I didn't say that. At the SoCo Hotel. It's a great hotel. Have you been yet? I've been one time. It was fantastic. He bought me a margarita there. Very nice of Brett. Some of the best bartenders in Austin. I was like, feels like home.

Great bartenders. I've only met the one like home. He's headed to shell out. Great bartenders. Yep. I've only met the one, so. They really know how to tend a bar. I had my engagement party there. I was there, man. Yeah. Brett didn't go.

He skipped. Let's do some stories. I think Dave missed it, too. No, I was there, you fuck. I think I went with you. Nah, I would never go. Did you guys share an Uber? I would never go to something like that with you.

Oh, would you go solo? Dork? Yeah, I guess. That's depressing. Yeah. Let's do some stories. If you have your own, email them to worstof at washedmedia.com.

Put the topic in the subject line. I'm not even going to tell you to be tactical. Be as reckless as you please. Well, kind of. Within reason. We'll see how these stories pan out and then we'll see the length after this. Yeah, keep it under 5,000 words, please.

Do you want the first story? Yes. It's called Las Vegas Divorce Party. Love this already. Hell yeah. Excuse me? I loved it. I loved it.

I have never heard of this before and I just love it. I've heard of a divorce party. I have never heard of this before, and I just love it. I've heard of a divorce party. I have never heard of that. But going to Vegas for it? That's just like turning up to 10, man. All right. This is from a guy.

As always, these are anonymous. I'm not going to air you out. He says, me and my buddies took a trip to Vegas for a long overdue boys weekend. The planning started out as we booked for exactly two nights, the only way to do it. And even though we were taking the Sunday night red-eye back, we all took Monday off work to recover from the debauchery. Dave, they did your methodology of booking the trip. Great move. What is that again?

Get in, get out, be tactical. No, my move, a lot of times I book the red-eye out on Saturday, like late, late. Like 4-8, like the 4-8. Yes, and it's so I can just go to the bars on Saturday. Or what we'll usually do is go to the pool, go get a dinner, maybe try on our last leg to go out somewhere, but then just go straight to the airport and get the fuck out.

Oh, that's crazy to me. No, I like that. I used to think that was crazy, and then somebody did it at the last bachelor party I went to, and I was so jealous. I hadn't even taken off, and they were in bed already. Depending on where you're at, you're back in your own bed by 7 a.m., and that's a great feeling. That is a miserable travel experience, though.

Miserable. Everybody on the plane is doing the same thing, though, and it's deathly quiet, and it's amazing. Everybody just passes out, and it's dark. Just think about it's amazing. Everybody just passes out. And it's dark. Just think about it, Dylan. It's better than being hungover at like 10.30, like, you know, dragging like a grande latte.

Oh, standing in line for a coffee at an airport is like blow your brains out territory. It's just miserable. I just feel like the whole Saturday leading up to that red eye out, you wouldn't be able to have as much fun as you normally would.

Like, I got this flight coming at 4 a.m. Just live in the moment, man. You got to think the missed flight percentages are pretty high in that scenario. That's why you got to fly Southwest. They make it easy to rebook and everything. This was non-spot. So I bought this. God damn, we're already going on.

I bought this travel bag. I bought this suitcase specifically to bring it on planes because it was carry-on. Dimensions were right. We know what a carry-on bag is and uh i flew spirit on the i flew the red at home on spirit which mistake and uh i get there i'm about to get on the plane with it and the girl's like uh sir i need you to step over here uh that that bag's too big i'm like what she's like and it's gonna be a hundred dollars to check it i'm like, okay. I am intoxicated. I really have no ground.

I can't fight with you about this. So just here, take my money. That sucks. Fuck spirit. Yeah, spirit stinks. Damn. Dude, it probably did fit. She just swindled the fuck out of you.

Oh, she did. I was a mark. She knew. Yeah. She's like, oh, he's a drunk guy in the red eye. Yeah. Easy target. This guy thinks he's slick doing the red eye trick, but nah.

You do run the risk of people being coked up though they can they can just fight that hundred dollar charge anyway we landed on friday and immediately hit the ground running drinking and gambling we hit a nice steakhouse for dinner and were asked if we were a bachelor party since we were a large group of guys in our mid-20s one of my friends interjected that it was a divorce party and it became a running bit when we'd ask people the whole weekend. As it turns out, there was someone who was divorced. A few too many drinks and a couple heaters in the blackjack table later, Dylan. We make the fiscally responsible decision of buying a table on the dance floor of one of the most popular nightclubs.

We all had a blast and closed out the place, save two of us that got the early boot by security. We crashed around 5 a.m. Hang on. That's tough to get boot. If you buy a nice table, it's really difficult to get kicked out. I would like to know what they did. Yeah, he was gloss over that. What did the buddies do? I'm about to read.

Oh, let's see. We crashed around 5 a.m. with all but one of us accounted for. Let's call him Jake. We got woken up at 9 a.m. with a banging at our door. It was Jake who apparently was blackout wandering all night and asked has anybody seen the 900 in my pocket from last night because if i gambled it away i don't remember that's not a good feeling i've never i've never had that issue but mainly because i have very strict limits when it comes to gambling this is a very dumb question is vegas a cash Like, are you carrying wads of cash?

Usually chips. But cash too. For real? Like, you have to buy chips. To buy chips. Cash. Yes. I've never been to Vegas.

I've only been for one night and I used a card, so. Bad boy shit. You were tactical. It's a cash city, yeah. For gambling purposes. Okay. Reckless club tab and one man down aside we could have done

worse by vegas standards night one then things took a turn for the worst saturday night after hitting up the pool party during the day we decided to change things up and hit the strip club on saturday night dylan a few too many drinks and a surprisingly responsible amount of spending later we decided to tell the strippers it's our friend's divorce party and buy him a private room 30 minutes later he returns with a look on his face that resembles a kid on Christmas morning. Most of us decide it's time to head out except for our divorce friend. Let's call him Jeff and Jake. The next message we receive from the group text is from Jeff at 6 a.m.

that just says, fuck, I spent over a grand here. So that is friend two, not the friend one who had already gone in the back and came out looking like a kid on Christmas. By the time we woke up Sunday to lick our wounds, we heard an anguished yell. Upon checking his credit card statement, Jeff realized that he'd been charged around $6,000 on his card in the several hours after we'd left him and remembered next to none of it. For reference, this is seven months rent for him. none of it for reference this is seven months rent for him dad insult to injury his parents still have access to his credit card statements since they opened the account form a few years ago when he graduated naturally jeff decided to panic in the fetal position while the rest of us

went out for the day shouts to caesars for having jumper proof windows after shooting some big boy guns and hitting up top golfer some hair of the dog we departed on our sunday night in pretty poor shape upon remembering that a small bag of party favors had gone missing on saturday in the hotel room one of our friends implored us to triple check all of our luggage before going through tsa in case it accidentally fell in oh no i'm gonna assume by party favors they made a baggie of something like balloons yeah it was vising cocks maybe maybe they had a bag of vising cocks i'm naive over here i'm like what do you do for party favorites this is giving me anxiety well there's a lot there's a lot of play there's a lot of reason i mean you know what i have

multiple friends now one or two who have had the uh hilariously large charge on a credit card uh at a vegas club like that i think everyone has a friend who has definitely gotten that large charge i'd be it seems to be in their business model yeah oh the back room is uh they they pretty much just like write the book while they're back there like we'll charge you for whatever we want like here's your 500 bottle of champagne and if you try to fight it we'll'll just get like, you know, a couple of six, seven guys staying over you until you leave. And it's,

it's shit. A lot of coercion. Yeah. It's not great. No. Well, after triple checking their bags, no luck.

We arrive at the gate and as Jeff, the one who spent $6,000, opens his headphone case, the missing small bag of class one felony fell out. Oh my God. Suddenly,

financial ruin didn't seem so bad when he could have just as easily been thrown in jail for being an accidental mule the red eye was delayed pushing our landing back to 9 a.m on the east coast and i didn't fully recover from my hurricane of a hangover until at least thursday but somehow i felt like the lucky one coming out of this trip oh and it's an east coast flight that's a long flight he he found it on the plane they found it in the in at the gate oh which like so they got it through i don't know where the best place to find that would even be because like anyway if you're in an airport and that falls out of whatever you have like i'd be freaking out i'd be losing my mind

you got it through security though. That could have gotten really, really bad. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. I would straight panic. Yes. I would probably cry. This is after he spent $6,000 on a credit card that his parents have access to.

Did he go snort it or throw it away? I don't know. They didn't say. It's hard to say. You got to take it to the bathroom, I mean yeah they had the flight delay so they had to stay out they probably just went to the bathroom and just started going after it if this dude was recovered by thursday shout out to him this sounds like a this is like a 10 day thing for me yeah no no the storyteller was thursday jeff on the other hand i don't know jeff might still be just still paying that off yeah jeff oh yeah yeah, yeah. Jeff, without seven months' rent for him, he's... Six grand.

Would like to know where he was living. That had to be like a college town, right? Yeah, that's not New York City. This wasn't a New York City gang. Yeah, he'd really have to be slumming it. Maybe Plattsburgh. Yeah, and if that's seven months' rent, he's not pulling in big bucks. So six grand, that's a lot of money.

Yikes. Shouts to him for having the credit limit, I guess. Yeah, hey, that's a lot of money yikes shouts to him having for having the credit limit i guess yeah hey that's not bad yeah i mean like god major shouts i just loved the idea of a divorce party i like that they thought about that yeah i was telling brad i was like you know we got the we can go between like college kids or uh divorce dudes in vegas and it's just it's the easiest decision of all time yeah i've heard of divorce parties. I've also heard of joint divorce parties where each, you know, the...

I feel like one of those goes viral every year. Like a photo from it. Yeah. It's like, look, we got divorced. Yeah, we're so happy now. I don't know. That's stupid. Sorry, in my opinion.

I didn't have one. I know everybody's wondering. Can we throw you one? Dude, let's do it. Can we do it like this? Let's do it in Vegas. Let's do it in Vegas Sunday night. It's do it can we do it like this let's do it in Vegas let's do it in Vegas Sunday night

it's like sticking it to the other person let's do it in Cabo Sunday night it's like look how happy I am now I get to go party with my friends finally you know

that's gotta be less obnoxious if you're at a bar or somewhere and like a group of guys come in and you're like oh god damn it a bachelor party

but if it's like a divorce party you're like okay alright I get what they're doing here now we're talking like these are these are the dudes you know this dude's probably going through it boys are just fucking what's the equivalent of like you know how like bachelorette parties have a sash and bachelor parties have like mac and what does a divorce party have bags of coke falling out of your pocket that's accurate i mean tall boys above light like like polo shirts and gambling tickets like what's

the tons of credit card debt yeah that sounds about right like beet red faces attorney's fees and shit bring do you bring your lawyer on it oh man you probably should maybe thomas j henry that dude fucked oh dude shout out his commercials are out of control they're everywhere dude the one where he's he's like leaving his mansion getting hopping in his bentley and then onto the private plane and like handing his bag it's just a flex like what's the point of this commercial i want to give a special shout out to the person that moved into my apartment that drives a bentley huh so their car car payment, I have to assume, is higher than their rent payment, just knowing what I know about my apartment.

That would check you out. I have a Mercedes AMG in my garage. How much to lease a Bentley? Hard to say. Can I get it under four-digit? If I'm not mistaken, I think they depreciate the second. The second you get one, they depreciate. That's why you lease, bro.

You can't lease it for under a grand a month. I'm going to say four grand. It's like a $300,000 car. Sure. Right? Sure. Brad, do you want to try to finance a Bentley real quick while I read the Get In, Get Out, Be Tactical story of the week?

It's probably like five or six grand a month to lease. That's so stupid. I'm going to say $2,500. I think we're going to be pleasantly surprised do you guys want the get in get out be tactical we do want that this dude literally just said I'm going to be tactical and he sent his story in bullet points oh I love that

I loved it survey says $2,760 per month not bad Will I even went under what kind of down payment are you looking at? I don't think you down pay a lease. Oh, you put money down. Yeah, you do.

Really? Dude, lease a fucking car. Dumbass. I'm only buying. You don't have to. To be clear, you don't have to. $216,860 or lease for $2760. You have to put down like $50K.

That's for a little bit of cheap. That's a cheaper one. $21K down. down what that's ridiculous if you're going 42 months in the lease i want to know how many people are leasing bentley's out there that's only that's only 7500 miles a year too that mileage restriction yeah people that people that old bentley's aren't driving they're not taking those three hour drives they're flying those places that's absurd better make. They're not taking those three-hour drives. They're flying those places. That's absurd. Better make sure you're seeing a chick in your hometown, wherever you're at,

because those miles will stack on you. That's funny. I think you're directing that one at me, Dave. No, I was not. I was looking at Brett. Oh, just general tip. I'm a miles guy. Yeah.

She can have the miles. It's a wedding crashers joke. That stunk. Dwight Yoakam. I like that sweater. Thank you. Ask him where he got it from. Yeah, guess what brand this is.

Can I guess? Yeah. Is it a sponsor? Nope. Well, maybe. No. It's Banana Republic. This is the Amazon brand.

Good threads. This is like a $25 sweater, man. It changes everything. It's Banana Republic. This is the Amazon brand. Good threads. This is like a $25 sweater, man. It changes everything. It's tight. It feels well-made. It's warm. It's thick. It looks tight.

I went in Banana the other day. This is not Spawn, of course. They got some cool stuff. I used to shop at Banana Republic semi-heavily for basics. They got a lot of very good solid colored things. It turned into Express for a time, and it got a little like douchey yeah like i don't know i wasn't a fan but i went in there the other day they got some good hoodies and stuff yeah i know you're talking about i know i know you mean hey we're ready for the getting get out be taxed yes finally we were not

tactical and attacking this story it's okay i'm just gonna read the entire thing in bullet points i was a groomsman at a wedding in my hometown st louis stayed at my parents house went out in attacking this story. No, this is my fault. It's okay. I'm just going to read the entire thing in bullet points. I was a groomsman at a wedding in my hometown, St. Louis. Stayed at my parents' house. Went out Friday night after rehearsal dinner. Was over-served, got home, and needed to eat something.

Found some oatmeal cookies in the freezer. Ate one that night and passed out. Woke up the next morning, needed a quick breakfast. Oatmeal equals breakfast. Ate one of the freezer oatmeal cookies again.

Arrived at the hotel starting to get ready for the rest of the groomsmen. Got incredibly dizzy and head was spinning. Oatmeal cookies ended up being pot cookies. Had no idea what was going on. Being very, very high when you don't know your high is scary. Best man had to tie my bow tie, which made for a very funny picture. Don't remember taking pictures. They had me wear sunglasses during them. Had a very stupid smile while walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid. Thought everyone was staring at me and knew I was high the entire ceremony.

Questioned my parents when I got home about their stash. They essentially said they were holding it for their neighbor. Dude, that's next level to have parents getting into edible. Yeah. I feel like depending on where you are, older people will do that shit and not think about it. But I can't imagine being high standing up at a wedding as the groomsman. That would just be terrible. Oh, I couldn't handle that.

One thing we're overlooking is bullet point two or three where he says, went out after rehearsal dinner, was over-served. Like, oh man, I hate when I get over-served. Got over-served. Take all the responsibility off of me. Yeah, don't blame the person giving you the drinks, dickhead.

That's on you, player. It's got, yeah. Dude, shout out to mom and dad. Mom and dad are chilling. Mom and mom. Man, I would not be able to handle that situation at all. Yeah, it's not great.

I'm just going to wait in the lobby. Y'all, good luck'all good luck dude that'd be awful i mean i hope it was outside so he could like wear sunglasses and not look like a total asshole do you think the brides are shooting them looks the whole time just you can't tell the bride if you tell the bride you are forever done in her eyes i think feel like yeah but i feel like she's gotta know no i mean she's not she has no contact with the groomsman before the wedding and after the wedding they're so busy mingling that i don't think it would even ever come up unless she like someone sold them out yeah i feel like you get sold out in that situation like hey you see you see how fucking high carl is yeah dude carl is blazed right now just the oatmeal cookies though i like oatmeal cookies you didn't even mean to get high that's

that's the shitty part like it's a total accident i could see dylan having his favorite cookie be oatmeal oh you know it's peanut butter dog they're always crumbly and dry not always you have shitty ones no dude shut up everyone in texas times that they are though so yeah well no not the ones i eat okay oh you're just eating these special ones that don't that like hold moisture better dude order tiff's treats one time tiff's treats are good cookies they're not the best cookies they're very good though they're good yeah they're always gonna be good uh do you guys want the uh in hindsight maybe that wasn't move move the week of course this happened in uh on march 25th in spartanburg county south carolina deputies pulled up what's in spartanburg isn't

there something hard to say you can't even look it up it's really annoying yeah no one's ever even been there here actually a lot of uh a lot of ancient battles battle of sparta yeah a lot of ancient battles. Battle of Sparta. Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. 300, that movie. That was good. That's where that took place. Kicked that guy down the well. Started a war. Damn.

Deputies pulled over a vehicle on Interstate 85 in Spartanburg County on Saturday night after a driver passed a deputy at a high rate of speed and swerved into another lane of travel, according to Spartanburg County's Sheriff's Office incident report. The driver, quote, was spraying Axe body spray in his mouth when the deputy approached to cover the smell of the alcohol in his breath. There was a 12-pack of beer in the passenger floorboard, and 11 of the 12 beers were open. 10 of the beers were nearly empty.

So he had some wounded soldiers in there. At the Sheriff's Office headquarters, Mencia Ramirez provided a breath sample that yielded a 0.15 blood alcohol content nearly twice the legal limit he was charged with a dui open container no proof of insurance and no valid south carolina driver's license okay i mean they always talk about doing the uh the mouthwash no one's ever talking about just doing Axe body spray in your mouth. Have you heard of the penny? I've heard. I don't know the science or logistics behind it.

I don't know that it works, but I've always heard if you suck on a penny, it's supposed to get rid of all. What you do in your personal time behind closed doors, Dylan, is up to you. No, Dave. This is not what that's about. If someone asked me to find a penny in my place or my car right now, there's no way I could find one. I have no pennies. No. No one has pennies anymore. They should get rid of the penny. Have you to find a penny in my place or my car right now, there's no way I could find one. I have no pennies. No. No one has pennies anymore.

They should get rid of the penny. Have you ever tasted a penny? I'm sure when I was a kid, yeah. Okay. I don't think Dylan's putting two and two together. Hey, let me tell you this. That's a dirty thing, isn't it? No, I'm just asking kids sometimes.

So I was thinking, how about this? What's wrong with you? Don't blow. Do not blow. You never blow, right? Is this Lawyer's wrong with you? Don't blow. Do not blow. You never blow, right? Is this Lawyer Dave talk? Yeah, you never blow. Yeah, just don't blow.

I mean, they'll take your blood when you get to the station, but just don't blow. It completely fucks any chance you have of fighting it. Yeah. That's what I was told by a person that I will not announce. I'll be honest. But if I had one beer, exactly one, and I drove home and I got pulled over and they wanted to...

I would not blow. No. Those things fail all the time. Oh, wow. Even after one beer. Yeah. I don't drive after. I mean, this makes me sound like a bitch.

I don't drive after one beer. That's good for you. If I know I'm going to be drinking at all, I take an Uber, especially if I'm with Brett. That's fair. Brett's the dude who's always wanting to drive. If Brett's going to be there, just Uber. That's just not true. No, don't drunk drive.

This guy's an idiot for other reasons outside of the fact that he filled his mouth with Axe body spray. We had a kid in middle school. Kid in middle school, we had like a dirty gym clothes pile because our school was cool and they'd wash them for us. Oh, dude,

that's so fucking bougie. But he sprayed it down with Axe body spray and lit it on fire in the gym locker room. I like that. Yeah. The whole school was evacuated.

It was like two degrees outside. They were just all standing outside. That's so unnecessary. That's better than sitting in class, though. A legitimate, wasn't just like a fire alarm kind of deal. There was a fire in the locker room.

So it was closed. I bet it was the best smelling fire you've ever smelled, though. I didn't smell it was, there was a fire in the locker room. That was, so it was closed. I bet it was the best smelling fire you've ever smelled though. I didn't smell it, Dave. I was in, I was not in the gym class. Oh,

well. I heard they smelled it two towns over. Like chicks just started flocking. Oh my God. Seventh grade and eighth grade chicks.

There's some honks over there. It looks like an apocalypse movie where everyone's running. It's just chicks just trying to get to the school. I can, it has such a distinct smell, too.

I can proudly say I've never owned Axe. Really? So I bought some Axe hair stuff. It's like good hold. And the girl that used to cut my hair back in Michigan, she was like, what are you using in your hair these days? And I was like, this Axe stuff? I don't know. It's probably

shitty. And she was like, yeah, you can't use that. It's going to ruin your hair. She just lectured me. I was like, you you what are you using in your hair these days and I was like this axe stuff I don't know it's probably shitty and she was like yeah you can't use that it's gonna ruin your hair and she just lectured me I was like you know that makes sense that's what happened to me Dylan don't they have new flavors that you use now but I've never actually used axe no none of their products have ever touched my skin in any way shape or form okay yeah but thank you sometimes when I go home I'll forget like a toilet tree and um i'll like to have to borrow something from my dad he's he's got some x products i'm like dude oh i guess he just doesn't know better i don't know maybe he's putting off a vibe i didn't want to sell it my dad but because you did it too yeah yeah last time i went back to my house

my dad just had a big giant bottle of old spice swagger oh hell like just but like the big ass bottle and like i'm like okay swagger's not the worst smelling thing in fact a lot of girls love it it's just not for me and so i was just like fuck like i don't want to like look like a jerk coming in with something else you have no swag girls love swagger was it do you guys know body wash or or like the aftershave body wash okay the body wash my only issue with it is it's so strong yeah like i don't want that's why i don't like it that's why i don't like it i like my body wash to smell while i'm applying it i don't like it to like stick on me for hours and

i feel like with old spice you just get all of it for so long yeah that's fair i'm a dove guy now wow plus care must be nice sensitive skin do you moisturize i do smart i'm a hawthorne guy non-spawn i've used some of this shit oh yeah i fuck with it oh yeah are you guys ready for ron weasley in the tale of the arrested nun oh my gosh Oh, my gosh. Yes. What is up, Chill Will, Wavy Davey, and Deadbeat Dorn? What? His words, not mine. Come on. His words, not mine.

That's unfair. I agree. Well, that was first heard on this podcast. Let's put an end to that one. That one's going to bother me. You're kind of responsible. You drive a nice car. That one's going to bother me.

Wait, what happened? I'm missing this. You were the one who originally said it. No. But did he say it because of a backer who wrote in? It makes you think. Wait what happened? I don't I'm missing this You were the one Who originally said it No But did he say it Because of a backer Who wrote in? It makes you think

Because of What do you mean? That's a good point Like did he read it As someone addressing you During spooky season? No Oh

He was telling One of his fake tales About me and Parks And he ended up Calling me a deadbeat No I didn't That's one I'm not gonna let slide

Pull the tape Randy I feel like Okay I feel like feel like it wasn't as ruthless as you're making a sound y'all can joke about me that's the one doing hanging out with sorority girls all you want but i don't make the deadbeat thing that's not gonna fly you've never made jokes jones gonna pull us a story girls debbie doran would have been a good spooky so whoever wrote that in whoever wrote that i don't call him up i don't like. Just call him up. I don't like you. Just email him. I'll send him a strongly worded email,

letting him know that next time he sends in a story, he should not use Deadbeat. I hope this is a personal story about himself and he had a really terrible time. It's not actually. It sounds like he kind of got out unscathed, but his arrested nun friend did not. Excited that the worst of it is coming back to the pod.

It's a section I always enjoyed and never thought I would contribute to it. And yet yet here we are this story happened in the early hours of halloween 2019 so i think it qualifies for some quick background i've been out of college for four years and haven't lived at home until recently i got a promotion a lot of me moved back to la so i moved back in with my parents while i got settled in sounds like a chill sitch to me wouldn't hate living with my parents if they lived in la la la just living in the pool house he said his first week back in town was the week of halloween i reached out to a few of my friends that still live here and i made some plans for thursday to

get a few beers at a few bars the boys that are your boy was flexing on these hose dresses ron weasley so i thought there was no way anything could go wrong. I took a drumstick as a prop wand. Pretty resourceful. After a few drinks, I decided to partake in a bit of the banter, if you will, and ended up getting into a headed fake spell battle with a rather large man whose wand was much more legit and harder than my drumstick. Now, what was he?

Did it say his character? It didn't. I'm not sure what he was. I'm going to assume he was Harry. Okay. They didn't fight much, but... I know, but it makes sense that you would fight in this. But how many other characters are these guys going to be?

Hundreds. He said in this that the whole bar was cheering us, and he absolutely flamed the man with no remorse. I've never lost a fight like that before i've always thought that harry potter was kind of a mail-in thing to dress up as it doesn't really take that much like it's subtle yeah yeah you just put on one of those striped scarves and put a fucking scar on your forehead and buy some fake glasses like sick kind of like it's kind of giving a fit off though honestly a little bit a little bit this was definitely the highlight of the night

and once we moved to the next bar things started to go downhill someone thought it'd be a good idea to start ordering tequila shots i bought my friend who was dressed as a nun a beer just to sip on and avoid the shots but when i turned around to hand him his beer he was nowhere to be found the rest of the group we were with gathered together and searched the whole bar form but he was nowhere to be found still after a while we go outside the bar and see 10 cop cars all pulled up and sure enough in the middle of the street there is my friend dressed as a nun getting put into the back of one apparently he was dishing out some hands in the name of the lord and had gotten a fight with two other guys that had also been at the bar after talking to my friend the following morning

i believe the two other guys were on the receiving end of some damage from the holy spirit as they were nowhere to be seen outside of the bar that night. How are you going to fight with a nun? Likely, he was defending the buddy who lost the Juan battle, or won the Juan battle, and then they wanted more smoke, so they came with a nun. Yeah, the nun was like the weak...

Yeah. The weak link. I don't know how it escalated so quickly i don't either i think we're we might find out right now okay okay this was rather unfortunate for me because i was meant to be staying over at his place so now i was stranded and my friend was on his way to jail dressed as a nun not great this is where things started going to shit which i think they started already going to shit when 10 cop cars surrounded your friend dresses a nun against my better judgment i chugged a few waters and i had one of our friends drive me to my car and like an idiot i hopped in the car and decided to drive home luckily i made it home still fully dressed as ron weasley side note

really idiotic move here if your friend gets arrested you just get them in the morning they are safe they're with the police never get in your car i go to use my house key on the door and the door refuses to open i tried several times but no luck apparently my dad keeps the house locked up like it's fucking fort knox and there is another lock on the door inside that can only be open if you have the app on your phone which of course i did not guess there's been some security upgrades i was aware of since I lived here. I now have to make a game-time decision about whether to wake my parents up or sleep in my car.

I opt for option B and decide that I'll wake up early and come back home once my parents are awake in the morning as that seems less of a shitty option so he doesn't have to explain how he went home. Have you guys ever slept in your car after a night out?

Yes. Yeah. Yep. It's the most miserable thing in the world sucks like you can put your seat back you you shouldn't get in the front seat and you should never turn it on because if you turn your car on you can get a dui if you're drunk do you know that did not know that so like if it's cold out you better bundle up and figure it out. Or I think if you just turn the key and get in the backseat, even you can still get a DUI.

They gave a kid a DUI in San Marcos for sleeping in his backseat. Keys weren't even in the ignition. That's so shitty. Dude, Texas, Texas, they can do whatever they want. It's,

it's pretty shitty. So don't drink and dress. Yeah. Yeah. That's, it's as simple they want. It's pretty shitty. So don't drink and drive. Yeah, it's as simple as that. He said he reclined his seat and tried to sleep. He wakes up an hour later shivering because it's freezing cold outside. The car says it's 37 degrees. Apparently his Hogwarts cloak

wasn't providing much insulation, but he had some other stuff. Anyway, he wakes up still drunk at 645 and it's still light outside. He goes back to the driveway and texts his mom to let him in the house and she told him or because he wanted to get an early start that day anyway that is how the miserable night of Ron Weasley came to an end I just can't imagine a situation where I would ever do something like that if one of you got taken away by the cops i like going to find you would not it's not the move because then you could get yourself in trouble

there's people that will go to hospitals and like go try to find their friends and then they will get in trouble at the hospital yeah a lot of this is on the parents for how do you upgrade your security system and not like you know know, give the guy like the rundown like, hey, by the way. They're probably pissed. They're probably like, God damn it, dude. What's his face? He's living with us again.

Yeah. We're trying to make upgrades on this place and now he's sucking the teat again. We've got this new sick security system. Even if the night went relatively fine. So he comes home at 1 a.m. Just buzzed. That's still annoying for everybody. He's still not getting in his house despite like everything else that happened. He needs his parents to get a.m. Just buzzed. That's still annoying for everybody. He's still not getting in his house despite like everything

else that happened. He needs his parents to get a pool house. Yeah. Just get his own lock like Will Smith and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Yeah.

I always wanted that setup. It was so sick. I always wanted to live with my extremely wealthy uncle. And date Tyra Banks. Oh. That was before she stunk.

Dude, I'm still in on Tyra. Really? Not her show. Her show is truly terrible. But just her in general. Maybe some magazine covers. She's all-time gorgeous, but she is insufferable on that show.

Dylan, you said that she was bae. You literally told me that once. I never said that. You're just torn up over this. Dylan's checked out of your body. Yeah, I'm pissed off. Dylan, I don't think you're a deputy. Well, I'm definitely not.

You have your life more together than I do. I don't need your validation on that, but thank you. Yeah, you have your shit more together than I do. It's going to be okay okay dylan fuck that guy here do you want to make it you want to make the choice on this choose your own adventure we're about to embark on no come on hey let me say this just because okay just because we make the joke to someone on here it's not a joke for everyone to make like if will if will shoots a you know some high heat my way about my hair i don't do that you have you've i only did it dylan's done it i only did at the time where i compared you to jordan speed and that's you know what that's fine um then you

know i i take it from them because i know these guys it's fine it doesn't mean like some random dude on the street like can yell it across the you know range that one's that just went too far that's all all right we're gonna we're gonna note that and move forward dylan will you at least choose the choose your own adventure what is it will get this guy some champagne monday morning at my parents house or i got too high and may have witnessed a murder oh obviously the second one okay yeah the other one's pretty funny too so if we have time i'm gonna read it okay table it i got too high and almost witnessed a murder i would like to share this story with you because i think it's one of the more absurd first time smoking that skunky gunky stories okay no one says when i first read this i was like man this this this okay cool you smoked

weed skunky gunky last year my first year at college i decided it'd be fun to try marijuana for the first time my girlfriend and i went to a friend's house and planned on bumming some of their weed for the first time i feel like that's how like 99 of people smoke weed for the first time they just go to their stoner friends are like hey can i like help some yeah for sure just don't do it the first time with your girlfriend that's do it with your buddies in their backyard in like sophomore yeah doing with the girlfriend is not the place to time to experiment and it's no with weed an essential part of the story is that my grandfather passed away a week prior so i was

not in a great mental state shots to his grandfather uh long story short i was in the shed getting hot boxed when i was getting handed a blunt every 30 seconds mistake number two yeah yeah i mean blood that's too much well and the hot box like yeah if you're gonna do it outside controlled hits don't hot box yourself night one just that's just a lot of thc that's just weed smoking etiquette with brett thank you smoking every time i took a hit because i ain't no bitch then i then it hit me i started freaking out because i was high as a kite and i got just got up and walked out yeah you were hotboxing a fucking shed with blunts

maybe just hit it once and then give yourself 20 minutes to see how it feels yeah that's the responsible way to do it I lost my spot I remember not knowing

where I was even though I was in a neighborhood where I'd lived since I was one do you ever do that do you ever driving and you're like

you kind of forget where you are and then all of a sudden you like go through you like see a stop sign and all of a sudden it comes to no you have no clue what i'm talking about no goldfish will no yeah kind of cool i like the fuck me then the election is telling you to go right and you're like wait wait wait right what which where are we going he said when my girlfriend stepped out to check my parents or check on me my pants were around

my ankles and i was peeing in the middle of the yard eventually she drove us to a parking lot of a local grocery store where we could sit and calm down i like this move i like the move of like being like all right he's clearly messed up let's go sit in a controlled area turns out did not work did they say it's a walmart parking lot no that's what i'm picturing i'm kind of picturing that too they said grocer and i feel like you wouldn't refer to a walmart as a grocer that's fair once i had been convinced i wasn't dying and started enjoying the experience we saw a conflict arising outside of the front of the store a lady in a car then started speeding off while the other lady in the conflict was hanging on the window oh no the lady being drug was flung off and we ran over to her along with one other guy that saw.

The lady couldn't move her legs or right arm and her seven-year-old kid was screaming his head off. Six cop cars ended up flooding the lot with an ambulance and we had to be interviewed by a cop while we reeked of weed. Pretty sure whatever I told the cop didn't make perfect sense and I kept stuttering, but I haven't heard anything from the situation since. Needless to say, it was a very long night, and we went straight home and fell asleep.

Haven't messed around with it since. So he doesn't know what happened to the lady? I guess not. I feel like that's something you look up. Yeah, you gotta know. That stuff's all public. Can you imagine a worse scenario for your first time smoking weed,

talking to a cop about a lady who might die? Let me tell you this, though. First of all, if you're ever in the position to where like you're outside of a car and somebody inside of a car is you know uh spitting that booty chatter at you don't try to like hop in the car or don't try to like fight them from outside the car because they will drive off and you will get run over yeah well didn't your foot like get run over yeah well it was more of a drunk mistake than it was an altercation.

Right, right. But yes, yeah, my foot was run over by a car. It just never ends well for the person not in the car. They said booty chatter. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I don't know what that is. Are we about to start a new podcast called Booty Chatter?

That's not a bad name for a podcast. It's really not. Talking that shit. Talking that booty chatter. I mean, I can do this other one too i did enjoy it the visual i need a resolution i need this person to follow up i'm gonna hey if you're listening dude follow up we want to know is this the dude that dorn's mad at no no no this guy's in the clear we're in the clear now we're in the clear now. We're in the clear now. Also, next time you smoke weed, just take

your time. Maybe do one like Dave said. Well, it's like when people take edibles and they're like, I'm not feeling it. They pop another one.

Oh, that's your boy here. Classic mistake. That was me and apparently Dion Waiters as well. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. In Colorado when we go hit the dispensary for the first time, get the edibles. It's all legal there, bro. We're going to do peanut butter cookies. Dude, imagine like...

That sounds pretty good. I don't take edibles. Shut up, dude. If you think your mouth gets dry when you're high anyway, imagine after peanut butter cookies. Imagine if people approach... Like that guy approached like drinking for the first time the same way. And like he just like goes in with his boys to a bar and he's like,

all right, I'm going to do seven shots real quick. He just butt chugs a fifth? Yeah, it's the equivalent of hotboxing a blunt. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? I was 18 the first time I did it, and I was the opposite of this guy. I was a total bitch. I don't even think I got high.

I was too scared. Yeah. You acted, though? No, I didn't act it. Because I wasn't really sure. And then the next, the next time it happened with the same people, uh, I was like,

Oh, that's what it's supposed to feel like. Okay. Hey, a little bit on the friend too. If, well, maybe he didn't know.

Maybe the guy's like trying to act hard. Like, yo, yeah. Like pass the blunt dude. But if, if the friend's like, Hey,

this is your first time in a hot box. You with a blunt in my shed. It's on him. That's on the friend. Yeah. Yeah. That's reckless. He's a young man. This guy's 18. He thinks he's invincible. Um, it's like him. It's on the friend, yeah. That's reckless. He's a young man.

This guy's 18. He thinks he's invincible. It's like, hey man, you ever done Xanax? No, man, you want to try one? Okay, here. Take these seven Xanax. Just pop them all at once.

Yeah. Take this bottle and take them all. Wash it down with this Tito's vodka. Yeah. You'll sleep for a long time. Probably forever. Probably forever. Maybe forever.

Forever sleep. Do you want to hear about the Monday morning at the parents' house? It's not the best title for this story, but the visual at the end of it is somewhat worth it. I love a good visual. Okay. After a few months ago, a few friends and I went back to our hometown for a three V three basketball tournament.

Honestly, sounds kind of tight. Low rim or hard to say. They did a road trip to a three V three basketball tournament. Dude. Hell yeah. Dude, there had to be low hoop.

Yeah. It sounds tight. We should, we should throw one. That's probably like a lot of people call it the, the Dorn hoop. That was a UT fret, like staple part.

It was huge. Yeah. It was a huge deal. I think the Fiji house did it. Somebody like dunk over it, a trash can that was a ut fret like staple part it was huge yeah it was a huge deal i think the fiji house did somebody like dunk over a trash can that was on fire probably that might have been probably i saw some photo it sounds familiar it got really uh i feel like you showed me this he was probably wearing like a sean kemp like retro sean kemp used to throw down yes uh let's see it says it's pretty much a big drinking weekend

for all of us plus a little hoops on the side the scenario i'm writing about is about my friend let's call him b so on sunday night for the whole tournament we went out for a third night in a row and it was more of a casual night of shooting pool or so we thought it was all fun and games until b randomly hits a wall and is just mentally gone we've all there. A few actions of note at the casual bar we were at, falling asleep on top of the pool table while we were still playing, being found asleep with his pants on while sitting on the toilet, and finally puking on the floor at the bar. If he falls asleep on the table, you got to take him out first.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. This all happened at the bar? Yeah. I'll tell you this. Bars do not fuck around with her pool table. Oh dude. That's why if you even try to do some shit where you're sitting on it, they will come over and,

and, and kick you out. I, I get a little nervous playing pool bars. Cause I'm like, okay, I don't know who I'm going to piss off. You might piss off a regular who just runs the table.

You might piss off somebody by doing a shot that they don't approve of. It's just not worth it. Just don't play pool at a bar. You try to jump. No one, no one jumps when they're playing at a bar. That is a death wish. Oh my God. Well, he said,

at that point, we tossed his ass in an Uber and sent him home. The next morning, while the rest of us were playing a little nice par three course, he sends us a single text to report what happened.

He had gone home, fallen asleep with his knees on the floor in his face between two couch cushions fully closed including shoes can you imagine this couch cushion like actual couch cushions this wasn't like a euphemism no no the actual couch cushions he's butt cheeks no he's he's face down on his on his on his parents couch okay fully clothed that's tough and he completely pissed himself oh well oh we kind of knew that was coming he only awoke when his parents came down on work for work on that monday morning to find their recently college educated 22 year old son

in that position holy shit and then he asked a question to dylan dylan what would your reaction be if you found the homie like that after a Sunday night out? Great question. And how old is the homie at this point? 22. Oh, God. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I've never been in that position before.

I've gotten that drunk and I've never pissed myself, but I just call him a dumbass. Are you serious? Cool brag, bro. It's not a brag. You always try to flex, dude. I've never pissed myself from drinking too much. Yeah, I would just call him a dumbass and

make sure he didn't do anything like get behind the wheel, shit like that. My dad, I got dropped off after my birthday one time at my parents' house. I was obliterated and I peed in the driveway in the snow and i guess my dad had been watching tv and he saw me doing it and so i went and passed out and then the next morning i was kind of sitting on the couch hung over and looking looking pretty bad and he was like so saw you pee last night i was like yeah and then he just goes maybe scale it

back a little bit and that just felt awful yeah i scaled it back a lot yeah i was like yep i'm too old to be doing that you're right i think i was right around 22 dad's love to use the word moderation yeah moderation is like the for like the dad who knows he's like practical he knows you're gonna drink but he just wants you to be smart about it so he'll be like moderation is the key yeah it is and we've in the getting behind the wheel thing like yeah that's the i'm gonna that's the number one i'm gonna preach that from the beginning i know you're gonna be out drinking i understand it if you ever get behind the wheel or get in a car with somebody else yeah yep yep that was the rules house. Yeah. Don't drive and no shitty beer. Yep.

My parents were always pretty lax about me staying over places because they just made assumptions based on the lives that they lived. Shouts to dads. Kids are going to drink though, man. Clearly. Clearly.

Y'all did. Stay where you are. Sleep in your car. Actually, don't do that. Don't sleep in your car. As we found. Especially if it's really cold out. I Actually, don't do that. Don't sleep in your car. Especially if it's really cold out.

I mean, you can in Texas. Yeah. You want to follow up? I know the video we referenced, it was on Tosh. That's why this video is seen by so many people. It is at a Baylor frat party. I think my wife,

I think Alyssa actually has friends who were in this video. And they light the trash can it's a big industrial size trash can on fire and it's right under the hoop and then a guy pops out of it and tries to dunk and he catches on fire what a dumbass oh it's great though oh man did they do the the redemption or whatever they used to do on tosh is tosh still on i hope not i feel like that guy got like a 20-year contract from whatever fucking channel he was on and then like everyone stopped watching that format has been so played out yeah like a viral

video here's our comments on it yeah i'm gonna just yeah we need to we need to download this video illegally and put it on our instagram feed toshosh is legit funny, though. Yeah, he's a funny guy. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, my God. Yeah, he does just set on fire. That was a terrible idea. What was that even going to do? Honestly, I don't know what they were trying to pull off,

but it could have been really tight. No. You know what would have been tight? Like, naked girl jumps out of the trash can on fire. Dude dunks over each one. Yeah. And it's harder to catch on fire when you're naked. Statistically, I think so.

Makes sense. Yeah. Maybe that was it. Hey. That was fun. That's all this week. If you guys have a story of your own, especially, I mean, I'll increase the urgency. Night before Thanksgiving is next Tuesday. Holler at us. It's not. No, I mean. Oh,. Night before Thanksgiving is next Tuesday.

Holler at us. It's not. No, I mean... Oh, the episode. The episode. Okay. It's dropping on 11-19. Makes sense.

Yeah. Yeah. The actual Thanksgiving episode will be dropping the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Are we going to tell the story about the dog? It's hard to say. We have a very sad story in the hopper for Thanksgiving. Oh, I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear it either.

Brett knows exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah. As far as like the worst of Thanksgiving goes, it can't really get much worse, but just send in your stories. I don't want to hear anything like that. Worst of at washmedia.com. Read them all.

It's been fun. You need a turkey gobble sound effect. That's true. Add me on the group. Are you going to hit the beat again? Yeah, dude, of course I am. I'm putting the headies on for it. If you enjoyed this episode, hop on Patreon.

Patreon.com slash Struggling Back Podcast. That's where every episode of this will be dropping on the Optimize tier. Every Tuesday between now and New Year's Eve. Dylan, can you do a turkey call no that wasn't terrible that's will for the record everybody you need to get video of our faces you have to shake the face when you do it all right dylan you go jesus dude that's not bad huh i'm not doing it because last time i did animal noises

dave's like this fucking suck dude so did i yeah when i tried to howl dave oh at the ranch yeah your howl was weak as fuck yeah thank you so if somebody told me to howl right now i would like to go in a soundproof room and test one by out before because i don't know what would come out if i try to do it odds you'll howl right now it was actually really fun we were howling across the the lake and like there's an echo yeah it sounds tight we didn't get any response from the coyotes but we did learn that brett has a bitch ass howl yeah that's dude that's tough i tried didn't have it it's hard to come back from that yeah sure was dylan honestly it was unexpected i thought you'd have a good how i did too dave i wasn't pleased with myself It's hard to come back from that. Sure was, Dylan. Honestly, it was unexpected. I thought you'd have a good howl.

I did too, Dave. I wasn't pleased with myself. You're a bitch. I don't know. All right. You won't even howl on the podcast, dude. Crushed it. Should we get out of here?

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