Circling Back - Thicc Bears & Cold Pieces
Episode Date: February 21, 2022David, Dillon and Brett power through Will's absence with a nice array of content. Said content includes, but is not limited too, President's Day, Dave's announcements, Olympic frozen appendages, the ...rogue thicc bear in Cali, TWIIIINS, political vomits and more! Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (14:21) Recapping This Weekend In Fun Presented By Ten Thousand (26:34) Yo This Dude’s Penis froze (35:28) Yo This Bear’s Thicc as hell (45:42) Does She Have Your Vote (53:47) And TWIIINS (1:06:15) Dillon’s Unsolicited Recommendation - Love is Blind Support Our Sponsors: Ten Thousand- TEN THOUSAND IS OFFERING OUR LISTENERS 15% OFF YOUR PURCHASE! GO TO TEN THOUSAND DOT CC SLASH CIRCLING Truebill- Go right now - Truebill dot com slash CIRCLING - it could save you THOUSANDS a year Mizzen And Main- Right now if you go to MizzenAndMain.com and use promo code CIRCLINGBACK, you’ll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the Circling Back podcast presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer.
It's the only hard seltzer with vitamin C from Superfruit Acerola.
My name is David.
And guess what?
I'm back.
Back in the saddle hosting.
Why?
People are wondering why.
Where's Will DeFreeze?
He's normally the one doing this.
Well, he has contracted the COVID-19 virus.
He's an Omicron boy.
Say what he's contracted as Christopher Walken.
He has Omicron. We don what he's contracted as Christopher Walken.
He has Omicron.
We don't know that, but he probably does.
He's got the virus.
Probably does have Omicron.
He's got the virus.
So here's what that means.
That means a lot of things.
First of all, I'm hosting.
Second, I'm on the board.
Third, big game Brett's here.
Hi, Brett.
Hey, Dave.
Thank you for having me again.
Happy to be back on Circling Back.
I feel like the whole squad's been down bad over the last two to three weeks.
In various capacities.
Between COVID and tum-tum virus potential and maybe food issues.
Right.
We've been in the hurt locker.
Yeah. I'm going to name names when we recap our weekend and fun based on my Friday dinner.
I'm just going to name names.
I want to throw that out there right now.
What happened?
What are we talking about?
I'm saying,
I think Terry Blatch gave me a,
Oh,
I wouldn't put that on,
on Terry.
I think Terry Blatch gave me a tum tum issue.
What did you eat?
I had sausage.
I had ribs,
mac and cheese,
and ribs.
Sorry.
And a piece of white bread and the Oreo pudding.
You don't think it was maybe just the egregious amount of salt and sugar.
Yeah, it could have been that, but I was down bad.
You just tested your body to see how much it could take.
You had a 3,000 calorie lunch there.
Dinner, but yeah. phenomenal oh and how was that
you hit him with that pudding huh i did they didn't have the banana which i usually like but
i went with the oreo instead i didn't finish it i was just kind of sampling and that sounds pretty
bomb it was really good tom tom yeah i had to unfortunately miss parks's birthday i know half
the squad was uh mia for parks's b- party, which we will discuss here in a minute.
That voice you hear,
you may recognize him from
his time at TotalFratMove.com.
Stop. Noted
blogger Dylan Chivary.
Yeah, hello.
Very happy to be here. Hi.
Allow me to be the first to wish everyone a
happy
National Margarita Day.
Okay. Happy National Margarita Day. Okay.
Happy National Margarita Day, which falls on a Monday, weirdly.
Wow, it's time for Micah to drop his 3-2-1 recipe.
Yes, undefeated.
Undefeated, his own proprietary method of making margaritas, the perfect margaritas.
I prefer his old-fashioned recipe, of course.
Action.
Happy holidays.
But yeah, I'm happy to be here.
Before we get into it,
let me tell you a little something.
We have a subscription based platform
that we use called Patreon.
And every Tuesday we drop a new episode.
Also every Friday-ish.
These are ad free, yeah.
It's usually Thursday.
It's just 100% content.
It's almost always on Thursday,
but it's Friday voicemails on Thursday.
That's where we take your calls
and answer fun questions, hypotheticals,
things of that nature. Tomorrow,
which is Tuesday, it's kind of
a grab bag. It's almost like a triple dipper.
Maybe it's a worst
of. Maybe it's the three
of us minus Brett and replace
Brett with Will talking about fatherhood. Maybe it's something completely crazy. Maybe it's the three of us minus Brett and replace Brett with Will talking about fatherhood.
Maybe it's something completely crazy. Maybe it's me just going on a rant about, I don't know,
something that's totally wild that nobody saw coming. Who knows? But we do that. And it's only
on Patreon. You can call the pipeline 888-618-4422. That is the number to leave a voicemail.
Please do it.
I check those every week.
And that's how we do the Friday voicemails
that sometimes are released on Thursday,
pretty much always.
You know, I've been toying with the idea
of moving those back to Friday
just to kind of mix it up.
Friday voicemails on Friday.
Might confuse a lot of people though.
That's a lot to process.
What do we do on Thursday then?
Then we just have a midweek. I don't know. a midweek day off i don't know man we're we're pioneering the four
day work week but we should probably keep friday no i think we're gonna do a movie review
anyway what's dj doing he just tweets about uncut jobs and and i say it every time he tweets
i do too it's hard not to miss him we should get him down to austin you need to get him and pete
come on down bring it they should do their sleepover and stay at dylan's their patreon
sleepover at d's house. Yeah.
And do content.
That would be good content.
It would be great.
They would probably both have a great time.
I just want to wish everybody a happy President's Day.
Don't you chase dead presidents?
I do.
Thank you.
A lot of people aren't working today.
Guess who is working today?
We are.
Watch media.
No days off.
Well, we take some days off, honestly, but not today today pretty much every friday who's your favorite president oh uh dwight eisenhower really yeah he built the interstate
system underrated not him you know like he authorized uh notably warned the american
people of the military industrial complex before he left office. Honest day for me, man.
Developed the suburbs.
Some would say that's a bad thing.
You hear about this Abraham Lincoln fellow?
Correct.
That's my guy.
He's up there.
Don't get me wrong.
No, yeah.
He did some positive things.
Tragically assassinated.
Ford Theater.
John Wilkes Booth.
Washington, D.C.
Six-semper tyrannous.
I saw the shit.
I shouldn't have done that.
I went to the little museum thing.
It's enough time.
Yeah, I went to the theater where he got capped.
How'd it go?
He got pop smoked.
Just pulled that Thule out on him.
Pop smoked?
Pop, pop, pop.
I don't think it was three shots.
It was probably one.
Someone just got the gat on his ass.
I don't know if it was a gat.
It was sad.
It was a while ago.
It was a gat.
Yeah, it was a... Yeah. No, it was not. What kind of Thule was it? It was a while ago It was a cat Yeah it was a Yeah
No it was not
What kind of tule was it?
It was a pistol
Probably a single shot
I know it was a
It probably shot like
It was a musket
Kind of
Yeah it probably had a lot of smoke
Was used
Probably very loud
Assassination
It like sprayed a bunch of smoke
Hold on Dylan's typing
So let's just stop the pod
Abraham
This is a long question.
Yeah, made even longer by the hunting and pecking.
Oh, it was a Derringer, see?
A tiny Derringer.
Hit in the ass in the parking.
A little Bobby Derringer.
And by the president and sailed the South's freight.
A Derringer.
Single shot.
It had like the big hammer on top.
Probably like a little tough smoke came up or a little spark.
Yeah.
If only Brett and I had just said that mere seconds ago.
What did you say?
I said there's going to be a puff of smoke that comes out.
I said it tough.
Then I reiterated the fact.
Oh, the Derringer.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Derringer.
Did you guys have dare in school?
D-A-R-E.
Yeah.
Drugs are really.
You know what? people wore dare shirts
ironically until they implemented a dress code my friend copied my final dare essay
word for word middle school not word for word but he like took like exact sentences of mine
and put them in his and we got called into the principal's office and we were scolded about
cheating we had to rewrite our essays i was so so mad. Wait, were those graded?
I didn't even know he did it.
Wasn't that just like a...
No, it wasn't like you got a grade for it,
but mine was so good.
They told me mine was so good,
it was up for like the top one got a prize,
and you know your boy can straight write.
You know that.
Wait, so you wrote a really good essay
on why DARE was cool?
It's not why DARE was cool.
It was about the dangers of drugs and shit.
It's kind of the same thing.
Didn't you also compare beers to SEC teams?
That was later on in my writing career.
So wait, to be clear, in high school,
you were writing just fuego anti-drug hippies.
This was like sixth grade.
See, I was doing the opposite.
I failed mine because I was just writing how drugs are cool.
I want to cop a Derringer and just pull the toolie out on somebody
i'm still i'm still stuck on this gun dog again um the gun used to assassinate president lincoln
yeah that's not how no this happened way before anyone ever talked like that
there was nobody who talked like that the first person to talk like that what
were they thinking they were just having fun they're just trying out a new bit everyone spoke
like that i watched a video of um there's like these construction workers the top of i don't
know the sears tower or something in this black and white it's from like when was that built 30s
40 something like that the sears tower maybe it may maybe a different one in chicago yeah that's
isn't that like 1965 don't know then it was an old how would we know an older video i don't know
we're not from chicago but they were talking about like the electrical wiring in the building there
and they were like yeah we have like six miles of cord running through this building like what
it why why do they talk like that? What year was it built?
Can Randy Photoshop the WASH media crew?
You know the Empire State Building pictures
where the guys are eating lunch on the beam,
sitting up 1,000 feet in the air?
Those always make me uneasy.
Sears Tower was built in 1970, so it wasn't that.
It was a different one.
You were very close.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was the 30s and 40s, and it was a very tall building in the United States. Yeah. Yeah. But it was like 30s and 40s.
And it was a very tall building in the United States.
Is part of it because they didn't,
because like the footage we have,
any audio is like poor quality and like sped up.
So it just seems like people were just-
That was just the style.
Like, you know how like their vocal fry of today,
like I got jobs.
It's like, there's just, people go through phases.
That's kind of sick.
I was looking up a Derringer to buy for your birthday you know what you know what i'm
saying i don't like that sling that around my finger where's the the sears tower is cool but
when are they going to build the cole's tower the sears tower is no longer the sears tower by the
way it's the willis tower yeah that's facts after will defreeze um that's not accurate anyway happy president's day i've got a few
announcements do you guys mind before we get into this weekend and fun which will be presented by
10 000 can i give a couple announcements i suppose maybe three first of all randy's on pitstain watch
oh he's wearing the washed athletic club t-shirt and it's powder blue powder blue everybody knows
the powder blue is objectively the most likely to acquire pit stains not only that but it's
with light no it's gray it's light gray heather gray man yeah i say powder blue but dylan like
you would even know anyway oh because i'm colorblind no what is that i'm not a sweat boy sure i'm a fucking sweat boy
randy's randy's form-fitting washed athletic club that is about two sizes too small it's
really showing off the guns oh i see a little a little moisture oh right is randy in the cut yet
uncle jim i'm sorry because randy said he's been bolting for the last four months, but now he's going to the cut phase.
The cut phase is the most fun.
He just switched.
Oh, today.
Wow.
He's officially cutting.
Today is the cut phase.
Second announcement.
As many of you are aware,
I bought some snacks on Friday for the office,
and the results will not shock you.
They're very good.
They're God-tier snacks.
And everyone likes them.
Intern Adam's about to get in here
and he's going to go open that drawer.
What did you say he's going to do
when he opens that drawer?
You don't have to say that.
He's going to fill his
fruit of the looms with...
I don't think we can say that
about our intern.
I didn't finish the sentence.
With poo?
Poo-poo.
I didn't finish the sentence.
He's going to poop his pants.
He's going to be so excited he's going to poo-poo his pants.
Sure.
Can I file a complaint with the board?
With me?
Yeah, basically.
We're not going to accept a complaint at this time.
No, I have a complaint.
No, no, no.
Not about that.
About Dave's snack game.
Oh, wow.
You got a complaint about my snacks?
I have a complaint.
I'm concerned about the-
What?
You want more fresh fruit in here?
What do you want?
The gigantic bag of tortilla chips.
No, that's not-
I didn't purchase those.
Those are leftovers from the Super Bowl party.
That's right.
You can blame Dylan.
I would like to renege my complaint.
Would you like to take them home?
Sure.
I have salsa, actually.
Take them home.
That's very cool.
You have salsa.
He has salsa at home, Brett says.
Hey, final announcement.
Mid-March, it's on.
New York City.
I don't do P pace or picante anymore
unless they're the same thing you do the new york city hgb fresh no i'll find a picture hold on
you don't have to find it you know yeah it's fine people are already wanting us to move on
doing a podcast people don't care about these announcements and you're making it worse
hey uh final announcement again uh mid-march it's on. What's on? You're probably, Dylan, you're looking at me like, what's on?
That's when we spring forward.
Dylan, you understand this concept.
It's when the time change happens.
That's pretty much how I describe it.
Why do you say that like Christopher Walken?
I don't know.
The time change happens.
I don't know.
That's just how people talk these days.
It's the vocal fry, as you said.
And Thursdays will become my new
afternoon nine whoa now that we're done with the too much dip live stream
for now it's really freed me up on thursdays so i will be playing nine at least nine on thursday
afternoons and potentially into the evening uh as long as my wife allows me to.
So that caveat is there.
Do you need a playing partner by any chance?
And that's why I'm saying it.
Obviously, the invitations or spots in my foursome
will go to anybody in the company that wants them.
Brett, I think you're going to be consistently a part of it.
Will and Dylan, you know, they'll do what they can.
You know we have a round of golf
in 10 days
and in 11 days.
It's true.
We have two rounds
in Vegas.
I should probably
pick up a club.
It's been a couple weeks,
probably three.
Not me.
My swing always stays sharp.
That being said,
I would like to recap
this weekend in fun
and this presentation
is from 10,000.
Our favorite.
I had a recent workout.
I went in yesterday.
It's kind of my new initiative.
I go in on Sunday and I try to get a lift in.
My goal on Sunday is to just be coherent enough, not hung over enough to where it stops me from lifting.
And yesterday was no different.
I went in, I worked out, and I was wearing my 10,000 shorts.
10,000 makes the highest quality, best fitting, and most
comfortable training shorts I have ever worn.
What, Dylan? I worked out
this morning. Can I stand up for the class
real quick? I don't know. Can you?
All right.
YouTube.com slash washed media.
There he is. Whoa!
I just want to show off the shorts I'm wearing.
You just wanted to show off your prowess on the mic?
As these are, 10,000s.
Which ones are those?
Those are intervals?
Dang.
Which ones are these, Brett?
Do you know?
Those are the interval shorts.
The 7-inch interval short.
I've been wearing those too.
It's their most popular, most versatile style.
Perfect for gym days, spinning, short runs.
Hit or H-I-I-T if you're Dylan.
And backyard workouts.
Whatever you want, man.
A large crowd gathered around me while I was doing deadlifts.
They were probably wondering about the tons of features like silver ion for odor protection,
no bounce pockets, breathable, lightweight shell fabric.
At first I was like, are they just impressed by all this weight I'm putting up?
But then I realized it was the shorts that they were ogling.
It's a perfect workout shirt too.
The versatile shirt is fantastic. I wore them bothling. It's a perfect workout shirt too.
The versatile shirt is fantastic.
I wore them both yesterday.
I doubled up on 10,000. I can't stop wearing their long sleeve.
Okay.
Long sleeve versatiles.
In addition to the interval short and what we just mentioned,
they make gear specific to other types of training from, oh, I don't know,
running to Olympic lifting to boxing.
So you can find a short for all the ways you train.
The brand believes in being better than yesterday.
A stoic dedication to continuous improvement.
Not overnight success.
Not overnight success, Randy.
That's something you should keep in mind as you're cutting.
What shorts, Dave, do you wear for simulated hunts?
Ooh, I mean any of them.
Okay.
I actually prefer the tactical for my successful simulated hunts. And then what if you're weighted jump roping in your garage? I also go tactical. Okay. I actually prefer the tactical. Okay. For my successful simulated hunts.
Thank you.
And then what if you're weighted jump roping in your garage?
I also go tactical.
Okay.
They're really a versatile short.
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I have to,
I have to invoice them for like another $160,000 for what Dylan just
provided and added value.
Yeah.
Just by standing up.
Yeah.
160 grand.
That's something that you were really big on at the days,
early days of the
pandemic to stand up your stand-up initiative correct yeah so i advise people to stand up if
you're new here i've sponsored that segment i feel pretty good about it very cool we got cake on the
tl headed you away right since you're a man of uh many trades what did you do this weekend
well dave i honestly didn't do a whole lot because I was feeling pretty down with tum-tum issues.
But I will start off with a fun day.
I did have fun on Friday golfing Shadow Glen out in Manor.
Thoughts?
I don't play golf there.
That is – I don't understand why.
Cool track.
Very cool track.
I like their little scene.
It's a two-hour drive for you drive for you they bump it's not two hour
music they were just bumping like tyler schilder's radio at the clubhouse tc yeah yeah it was nice
dave i had a fun i had a fun round the greens are slick but fair and true it's uh kind of a little
little target golfy you know a hole you gotta be careful out there and then there's a lot of a little target golfy, you know? A hole. You got to be careful out there. And then there's a lot of undulation.
Like there's four tiered greens on that course.
Slopey, he's saying.
Yeah, it's slopey.
It's real slopey.
How would you shoot?
What's the damage?
I went 88 out there, shuttered line.
Ah, who'd you play with?
Playmaker.
Who'd you play with?
Just y'all two or did y'all get paired up?
Just us two.
That's great.
We had the course for ourselves.
It was kind of nice.
This is Friday?
Yeah.
Huh. That drive, I guess, maybe scares people away, but
it's not that bad. What is it, like 28 minutes for you?
It was 28 minutes for me on the dot, Dave.
I'm pretty good, man. It was 28 minutes, Dylan.
I am pretty good at this.
You know, you rip over to 35.
Yeah, you don't have to. You just rip over.
Then you rip up to 290. Then you rip up.
Then you rip over. Then you rip over again.
Dylan, what'd you get into?
How's your tum-tum?
Tum-tum has never felt better.
Actually had a kombucha yesterday.
It might be why.
But big time weekend for your boy.
Big time weekend for the homie as well.
His birthday was Saturday.
So Friday, we took him out to Dirty Martin's,
aka Dirty's, for his first time there.
You guys know what that is?
I had never heard of it.
Is that the predecessor to Dirty Bill's?
No.
It is an Austin staple.
It's like a greasy spoon-style restaurant.
Burgers, grilled cheese, tater tots, milkshakes, that kind of thing.
Now you're speaking my language.
Shiner Bock on draft, which your boy got one.
From Shiner, Texas.
A really cool thing happened. Shiner Bach on draft, which your boy got one. From Shiner, Texas.
Really cool thing happened.
A lot of members of the University of Texas offensive line.
Please withhold commentary about – Current offensive line or incoming offensive line?
Because I think that's going to make a lot of difference.
Current.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't see any –
Soon to be former.
I didn't recognize any of these guys. You've been to be former. I didn't recognize any of these guys.
You've been following the program.
I didn't recognize any of these guys,
but I pulled up the roster to make sure they were legit.
And they are legit.
That would be funny if they were just posing as the University of Texas O-line
just to like get posed for birthday pics.
Honestly, they could not have been more gracious and nicer.
How did you record?
Okay.
Obviously, these are men of size.
And did you say, whoa, I wonder if those guys are,
do they wear UT football athletic stuff?
No, they were just dressed in regular clothing.
A couple of them had on like longhorn like beanies or shirt.
I like to act like you've been there before.
Don't wear the logos outside of school.
But yeah, walk in.
It was obvious that they were athletes.
They were all massive human beings.
And there were like 10 of them together.
So unless like friends of size just find each other,
it was obvious that they were football players.
Friends of size.
It's our new podcast here at Washed Media.
But Brittany asked someone working there,
like, oh yeah, they're just like volunteering
for the day or whatever.
Anyway, Brittany asked if Parks would get a picture
with them for his birthday.
They were like, absolutely.
They threw him up on his shoulders
and then were like, thank you, appreciate it, guys.
He was like, one of them said,
you want us to sing to him? Absolutely absolutely so we got a video of that they were very cool made parks his night it was awesome saturday big big day his birthday party at the
crib dave stopped by randy stopped by just stopped by i was there for a long time we had a bounce
house that was about as tall as my house. It was really big, awesome.
The kids were obsessed with it.
We had a magician there slash balloon animal maker.
She absolutely killed.
Miss Sparkles.
She had them in the palm of her hand.
Really?
She was just absolutely slaying.
It was incredible.
I'm jealous, man.
I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it.
Randy even pulled up a seat and cut some of the show.
Did he make balloon animals or origami along with her?
Did he try to get in the show?
I'm glad you brought that up.
Does he make you a balloon animal, Randy?
No, he says no.
So when I realized that she was doing balloon animals, I asked Randy, or I jokingly asked
Randy, I was like, did you ever do balloon animals?
Because it seems like something you'd be into.
Because it is origami adjacent.
Sure.
Randy asked her to make him an artwork, and she was like, I don't know how to do that.
Randy legitimately said, funny you say that, I used to have a balloon animal book.
Yep.
That is literally the least surprising thing.
Randy can make you a balloon animal.
Is that in your Tinder profile?
Oh, it should be.
I'm confident in saying this birthday party was an a plus plus it was it was it was incredible i saw could use the band it
was bay's story like the bird's eye view it was popping everybody had a good time the kids were
running around you know it was all it was just awesome man good vibes the weather was perfect
did parts have uh any beer try you get a try his own his
first beer no no he's he's still just seven oh yeah so no no beer uh baseball practice on sunday
he got back in there and he had a he had a good day so okay just overall the weekend was like
10 out of 10 it was do you remember that time uh on saturday when we got in the bounce house
together and i bounced you so high that
you got scared and they had to like kind of stop the party for a few minutes.
So you go like, yeah.
Yeah.
Dave double bounced me in there.
Really?
I double bounced his little dick off.
He also double bounced his little five-year-old like through the roof almost.
Dude.
I told him not to.
He's like, fuck it.
Sometimes these kids need to learn respect.
Well, they got to learn how to, how to fall.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You ever, you can't, you can't advance your career unless you learn how to fail whenever you get kids right
that's really you get kids in a bounce us you worry about injuries oh yeah someone someone
catching a knee to the chin or something you know yep tooth to the head y'all take out a policy on
we did have one uh tooth loss it was already loose from what i understand oh one of one of his
classmates damage on that did you find the tooth for the tooth fairy?
Because obviously you need a-
Tooth is probably somewhere in my backyard right now.
Wow.
Yeah.
Or wrapped up in-
You could be expecting a demand letter any day now.
Yeah.
All things considered, I would have taken that if you had said the only thing that's going
to happen is a tooth knockdown.
All right, great.
Glaring lack of petting zoo and live band but other than
that i just wanted to i wanted there to be like a mini horse or something it was freaking out that
bounce house was so lit dave's just doing old school dylan he just he's just trying to do the
birthday party from old school dave how early is that bounce house it was insane i had if you go to
uh at dc rough on instagram you can see it yeah you can you got
so you got a little grandma and if if you hashtag super sage so he can see it that would be very
helpful rose man was there how did rose do he made an appearance he's great he was killing it
crawling around the grass like a kid conversation with the ladies and stuff yeah he was being on his
flirtiest behavior he was spitting mad game dude let. Right. Let's see. Okay. Damn, how'd the dogs do?
Stella escaped a couple times.
Oh, really? We kept her inside.
Yeah.
Man.
So you can tell she listens to Dylan, because when Dylan realized she's out back, and Dylan's
like, Stella, come here.
She kind of walks up and then lays down.
She's like, all right, Dad.
Not supposed to be out here right now.
Yeah.
She knew.
Very cute scene.
She knew.
Very cute scene.
Davey, what about you, man?
Pretty much what you said. pretty much a mix of um early bird CBD um little kids birthday parties uh Riviera you played a little bit of UFC no I watched it Riviera's shortly or quickly
flying up the list on courses I would like to play, but I know I'll never play.
It just looks like a fun track.
Because it's one of the nicest courses in Los Angeles.
Correct.
It's also a private country club.
Okay.
Yeah.
Joaquin Neiman, wire to wire.
Very nice.
Got a little scary at the end, but yeah.
Shout out to him.
Did you have any dinners?
Anybody get off dinners?
No.
I did consume dinner, but I didn't step out.
Yeah, I also ate multiple meals.
You went to the rancho, didn't you, Matt?
Oh, yeah, I did do that.
Okay.
Thanks for reminding me.
Yeah.
How'd it go?
On Saturday night.
Honestly, the beef fajita, the meat, they've done something,
and it's, like, much better than it used to be.
Whoa.
It is really good right now.
I'd get it while it's hot.
While it's hot?
Okay.
I did the pizza at La Pesina last week.
Famously very delicious.
Yeah, those, they live up to the hype.
I'll put it that way.
Yeah, they're good.
The melted cheese situation they put on the skillet.
Oh, the little fondue.
We get it, dude.
Y'all ate head baller weekends for food.
Come on, dog.
Sorry I ate hot chicken after your party.
I did eat hot chicken after your party.
Really?
You saw it by Tumble.
I went to Tumble and I ate a half chicken.
T22?
I had four pieces of chicken.
Did you hit deep Eddie for a pitcher thereafter?
No, I had my son with me.
That sounds so lit.
I haven't been in a minute.
I live so close to it.
I haven't been to deep Eddie since I moved over there.
You want to go for a picture?
Not like today.
I'm on a no drinking initiative for the next two weeks until your bachelor party.
Is that facts?
Yeah.
I mean, honestly, yeah.
Good luck, man.
Thank you.
Yo, this dude's penis froze.
Finland skier suffers frozen penis in Olympics mass start race.
What's a mass start race?
It's where –
It's like a marathon. by the way that was yesterday
causing problems traffic wise in austin austin marathon yeah really yeah you gotta stop you
gotta big city marathons get out of here don't hold up traffic just so you can run your little
dumb ass race go run in a rural area oh nice i would go to a rural area or yeah go go to coda dog go run
at coda because it's in a rural area you know coda's got a nascar event coming up really facts
i'd like to be a part of it randy can you confirm that okay anyway this guy's really
struck you guys see where this guy's penis froze um he spent just under an hour and 16 minutes traversing the course and howling freezing
winds leading to his penis becoming frozen for the second time in a cross-country skiing race
following a similar incident in ruka finland last year so it froze huh that's one way to get it hard Okay.
I really like that one.
Anyway.
Anyway, what's with everybody getting canceled?
I mean, cancel culture.
I think we should cancel cancel culture.
You should try to get canceled.
Just to get out of the way for something like minor.
Let's play a game called canceled or frozen penis.
He was able to keep his penis, by the way.
That was my next question.
Can you get frostbite on a penis?
Absolutely.
You can frostbite.
If it can freeze, you can get frostbite on it.
Oh, wee.
What is that?
That's a sign of me getting a frozen penis.
I don't think that's normally a sound when something positive happens i don't think that's a positive that's a
good point just an icicle that's a sound of me thawing it out you just pull down your pants
and it's just a it's just a icicle i hit him with the hand warmers so here's my question
this guy was the only presumably frozen penis in the field what is what is so different he wasn't
a frozen penis he had a frozen maybe he's just sensitive to colt more this is his second time
you gotta think after the first time he's gonna stick a hand warmer in there they last for five
hours i'm gonna put a wool sock over my face pop quiz hot shot how many times does your penis have
to freeze for you to stop doing that activity one Once. One frozen penis, and I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to change my methods here.
People climb Mount Everest and they don't freeze their penises.
No, I bet they do.
They probably just don't report it.
A couple toes, a couple fingers here and there, maybe an ear.
I've never heard of a penis.
It's too close to your body.
Why is it that certain parts of your body get cold and others don't?
Because they're further away from your core.
Further away from the heart.
The blood.
My face. Your appendages, like your fingers get cold. It's 20 degrees. I'll have from your core. Further away from the heart. The blood. My face.
Well, your appendages, like your fingers get cold.
It's 20 degrees.
I'll have a coat on.
I'm cold as shit.
But my face is like, I'm all right.
You know what I mean?
Dude, that's crazy.
You know what I mean?
You're just different, dude.
Tell me you know what I mean.
Well, you have a beard.
Well, I don't.
But my forehead's not covered in anything.
Yeah, but you got a brain in there.
And you know the brain's like a,
doesn't it pump out like a lot of electricity or like run or something?
Not pump out, but you know what I'm saying?
Faces do get cold, but they're much more resilient to cold weather.
Don't ever listen to this podcast.
Do your ears get cold?
Than your fingers, for example.
Yeah, no, I agree.
I think it has something to do with how close it is to your heart.
It is.
It's how far away, yeah.
My chest be getting cold, dog.
Your chest doesn't get cold, Dylan.
My chest gets cold.
Dave, tell him my chest gets cold.
I don't know anything about that.
When does your chest get cold?
This is the warmest part on you, I think, because it's protecting your vitals.
I'll warm you up, big boy.
That's like when you go do like a cold plunge.
I'll warm you shit up.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
I was going somewhere else.
Can we just talk about this, dude?
Can we do cryo?
I've done cryo.
Really? I'm trying to do cryo.
That scares me.
That would freeze.
You'd have Antonio Brown, man.
Yeah, because he didn't do it right.
You have to do it.
You don't go in there without shoes.
What if I get a frozen penis in there?
That's what I'm trying to test out.
I'm trying to A-B test this theory.
Antonio Brown?
Dylan, I got some no-show socks you can put on there.
That's not that funny.
Because they're smaller.
Are they stance?
They're not a sponsor anymore.
No, we're opening the sock category.
Wow.
Are we a sock-free agent right now?
Yeah.
That's ironic because the sock isn't here today.
That's Will, of course, if you're new here.
Is he okay?
It was very windy.
I was watching the halfpipe, the ski halfpipe,
and they were talking about how dangerous it was.
Oh, yeah, they couldn't do any flippies because it was so windy.
They were still doing flip.
I'm sure the flippies were done.
I saw some dude bust his ass because of the wind.
He had an over-rotation on his flippy.
A little over-rotation, classic mistake.
Did any of them do a blippy?
Is that where you poop on your friend?
I'm Kajal. Right. classic mistake did any of them do a blippy is that where you poop on your friend i mean really that's what he did that's what the guy did it's a lot of people don't know that don't
look up don't look up old blippy harlem shake video b-l-i-p-p-i don't look that up it's not
now blippy is a children's author correct correct? And he's absolutely crushing it.
Not an author.
He's a YouTube guy.
Is he doing numbers?
Is he doing DP numbers?
He's worth like-
Not Dave Portnoy.
Many figure.
He's worth like eight figs.
Remy Lindholm-
That's so many figs.
I'd take seven from YouTube, but he's doing eight?
The skier-
I think he's an eight fig boy.
Remy Lindholm explained that he used a heat pack to thaw out his appendage once the race was
over when the body parts started to warm up after the finish the pain was unbearable he added so you
okay that is true when you ever you ever get too cold and then you come back inside and put like
your your hand in hot water or something it hurts and it's like whoa you know what you know it's a
sensation i don't like when it's cold have you ever tried to go jog when it's cold and you get the itchies?
Like your legs start itching?
That's so annoying.
Do you ever go for a jog or maybe play hockey on Tuesday mornings
and the rain's cold and your lungs feel like they're being lit with matches?
Yeah, that's cool.
I've been dangling all day going top shelf on fools.
Ike, man, two goals.
I don't know if we're calling on that.
I'll go stick side on you.
You don't, I mean,
you can go stick side if you try,
but that's like also my glove side,
so that's really dumb
because that's my glove.
I don't care.
It's the best part of my body.
I'll put it in any hole
you want me to put it in.
No.
Andy, put the pin down.
Y'all are just doing your own,
it's the Brett and Dylan show
and I'm just here running the board.
This is kind of great.
Hey, you see,
I could have got two goals yesterday. I just, I i literally just said that and i wanted to say it again
i know i i'm happy i'm happy you know i think i'm happy for it's like an ad you know i think
my edge is doing really well you know i think what i think this dude might be pretty good
anything else on this guy whose penis froze i wish him well and hopefully uh he he stops
letting his penis freeze do they use a derringer at the start
line man it was by the way that tuli what a waste of ammunition a 44 cal that's a big caliber weapon
that's a big oh here we go gun guy you couldn't you charlton heston in here you probably couldn't
handle a 44 i've shot uh i've shot some high caliber i've had a 50 cal on my dad no you didn't
i did no you didn't i had it mounted atop my jeep at one time a 50 cal on your jeep yeah i've had a 50 cal on my dad no you didn't i did no you didn't i had it mounted
atop my jeep at one time a 50 cal on your jeep yeah i've shot a 50 cal pistol before really that's
why i can no longer own a firearm the desert eagle yeah i've shot one how'd it go one of the first
weapons i ever shot was a 357 magnum it's very loud it was very stupid i should not have been
shooting it very loud and if you're not ready for it, the recoil can come back and hit you in the face.
It's a serious weapon that really makes very little sense.
Okay.
Second Amendment Dylan in the house.
You just want to put a hole in somebody the size of a cantaloupe.
What's wrong with you?
I don't.
Speaking of big holes inside of somebody,
did you guys see this bear? I'm in awe at the size of this bear we're talking hank we're talking hank the tank the 500
pound bear who's ransacking a california community what's this bear says says here paintballs bean
bags sirens and tasers cannot keep the exceptionally large bear from seeking leftover pizza and other food.
Officials say he's broken into at least 28 homes since July.
Oh, my God.
He fills up our entire monitor.
28 homes?
28?
That's a rap sheet that only Dave has from high school.
We did not break into homes.
No?
No.
We were more fun.
We were more step onto your front yard and throw toilet paper into your trees. I saw something about trying to euthanize this big boy. No. We were more fun. We were more step onto your front yard and throw toilet paper into your trees.
I saw something about trying to euthanize this big boy, this big fella.
Which I'm not down with that.
Let him ransack homes.
Yeah, it's tough, man, because you got this bear who's clearly not afraid to enter a home.
Fortify your home.
Put a security system in.
What's that going to do?
You think the alarm's going to scare them off? It'll alert you.
And then what are you going to do?
To escape. I don't want Hank knocking on my bedroom door being like,
yo, I'm out of pizza. Still hungry.
Residents have called the police about Hank more than 100 times since July
as he continues to rampage through Tahoe Keys. That sounds expensive.
Oh no.
I wonder what the damage on that is.
A gated community about 190 miles northeast of San Francisco.
Oh, no.
According to the Nevada Wildlife Department of Fish and Game,
they're going to euthanize him.
That's what I just said.
This podcast has nothing to do with it.
If we catch him first, we can make a safe home for them somewhere.
You have a pretty good backyard.
It's a little warm for them down here, unfortunately.
It's a black bear?
Yeah, it's a black bear.
If it's black, fight back.
If it's brown, lay down.
If it's white, good night.
Yep.
I hope that's right.
If it's a koala, just cuddle the shit out of it.
You know, koalas are
traditionally
this is how Rogan
got cancelled man
because of bad
information about bears
that's what
that's a saying
it's also how that
I'm trying to share
survival tips with
our listeners
okay I just don't want
I don't want our friends
in Northern California
to see Hank
and then like remember
what Dylan said
and it was way wrong
don't fight
don't fight Hank
Hank is tough
there's a petition going around
to save Hank, by the way.
I'll sign it.
I will too.
I'm going to see how many people
have signed it.
Remember when everybody was like,
yeah, Rogan's going to get canceled?
Not everybody.
People were like,
oh, they're canceling Rogan.
And then it came out like,
not only is he not,
he's keeping his show,
but he actually made more
than $100 million
on that Spotify deal.
I just thought that was a funny note
that it came out during that. It's more than're making yeah brett's sitting right next to you i told you
i mean we had a big day today you're gonna get the stance sock the stance guys back or what
man i don't know are they still a company you sounded i still wear their socks this shit's
fire still wear their socks the average black bear in the western United States weighs between 100 and 300 pounds.
Yeah, they're like big dogs, like Newfoundlands.
This thing is 500 pounds.
It says here he didn't get fat like that
eating berries and grubs.
You can say that again.
He's been eating bay.
Pizza.
Right?
Yeah, he's been eating pizza.
Yeah, and steak, presumably. He's not eating steak. and steak presumably he's not eating steak i bet you
he's at a steak at some point he has to start cutting he's randy started today yeah tell randy
hank to tank i don't think he's gonna cut i mean he's a bear shouldn't he be hiring anything right
now that's my that's getting close getting close of, it says here that Hank has become one of the neighborhood's least wanted residents
in July.
That's when he became a real nuisance.
And that's around the time that bears enter hyper phagia, a period when they bulk up on
calories before they hibernate for the winter.
Yeah.
What's he, what's he doing?
So we just went hyper for a while.
He just skipped the hibernation.
And then he's like, actually, I'm kind of down with eating all this dope grub.
He's like, fuck it.
I'm going to skip hibernation this year.
Bad boy shit.
You know what this comes back to is climate change, Dave.
That and the global pandemic.
Yeah.
Because, you know, the bear situation took a turn during the coronavirus pandemic, of course.
When some people moved to the area to work remotely.
Well, you know what?
That sounds like it's on them.
Maybe don't move to Hank the Tank's neck neck of the woods i'm a big hank guy the tank uh this is my favorite
the residents are quick to point out that hank is gentle and sweet when he breaks into a home
he is far more interested in the food than any of the people who may be inside see a resident said
he just sits there and eats.
He doesn't attack them.
He doesn't growl.
He doesn't make rude faces.
That's actually in the New York Times article.
Yeah, I've got a subscription.
Thanks, Will.
Is this going to be turned into a movie?
I hope not, because it would be a sad one,
because I think they're going to off this, dude. Don't kill this.
They have 680 signatures on the change petition to save his life.
What do you do?
Do you have to rehome him?
Bring him to a zoo or something.
There's a sanctuary in Colorado.
Some might say that's worse than death.
Okay.
Then let them keep ransacking homes.
Or maybe bring them to a location that's more remote and homes are not around.
I love those videos of like bears presumably black
bears when they hop a fence because they're like the ones that you're you can scare away and like
the pug the little dogs just run off the bear like two little chihuahuas will run off a bear
because the bears like what the fuck is that i saw a video the other day this uh mountain lion was
outside this family's house and the dog
was some kind of like
shepherd or something
charges this thing
like yapping
the homeowner runs out
like
no
no
get back in the house
the cat was just
kind of like
the cat thought about it
the cat would like
you know
did his like
his little
what do you call it
go ahead
go ahead
one of those
do it a little
one more time
kind of like that
yeah
and the dog was like alright and just ran back to the house but that could have gotten real ugly real fast Go ahead and do it a little one more time. Kind of like that. Yeah.
And the dog was like, all right, and just ran back to the house.
But that could have gotten real ugly real fast.
It's just a dog protecting its family, part of the pack.
Right.
Yeah, the mountain lion wins that fight, but the mountain lion has to assess the threat.
And a dog looks very threatening. And mountain lions probably encountered wolves, maybe.
And they know like, oh, if there's one here, there might be like three circling me this could get this could get
wild hence the pack maneuver back mentality wolves and big cats that they fight iro the wild i'm sure
they fought before it probably happened i don't think they're on the right they disrespect each
other like all right you do your thing i'll be over here i bet not i bet that i bet they get
over food yeah they probably like fight fight over, try to steal carcasses, things like that.
I'm thinking hyenas and lions.
They scrap over carcasses.
Yeah, that's a rivalry.
I don't know about North American cousins.
You see this movie about it?
Lion King?
Uncut Gems.
No, not Uncut Gems.
Lion King.
Uncut Gems?
It's a little different.
Similar plot.
They say if you relocate the bear to a remote location like Dylan suggested, it would die a slow agonizing death because it would starve.
Way to go, Dylan.
Good suggestion, you idiot.
Never mind.
But I think that's what Big Bear Hunter wants you to think.
Maybe they give it like a lifetime gift card to Mr. Gaddy's or something.
Look at that thing.
That way he can just go eat pizza whenever he wants.
So you're saying they should mic the tiger, put it in a cage, and then give it Mr. Gaddy's?
No, I'm saying just give him a lifetime gift card to Mr. Gaddy's so he didn't have to break into homes and say he can just go in and eat.
Okay.
Fill up on a tiny sausage.
How does he know which one to go to?
They'll have to direct him.
Like, hey, this is going to be your spot.
Okay.
Whenever you're hungry, just go in there.
Okay.
There's a feasibility there.
I'm not.
Look, I'm throwing out more solutions than you have.
Why are you coming at me for this?
They should relocate them to Big Bear.
Where's Big Bear?
I think in a big bend.
No, there's Big Bear.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
That's where I used to train at altitude.
I used to call Dave Big Bear.
Where's Big Bear, Brett?
Take a guess.
There's Big Bear Lake in California.
Yeah, that's the one.
That's where Hank lives.
It should be.
He's a large bear, of course.
Right next to Bear Mountain.
Seems like a perfect situation. Anything more on Hank the Tank?
I hope he survives.
We do wish him well.
I think that they will listen to the petitioners and say,
you know what, let's just tranq him and then put them in, I don't know.
It doesn't sound like there's any good options.
There's really no good options for this.
You know what?
They need to quit being cowards and just fortify their homes.
That's what I said.
He'll move on.
Bear proof it.
Ooh, maybe you build a house out of a Yeti cooler because they're bear proof.
Or bison.
Or bison.
It just kind of sounds like the residents are doing the bear minimum.
Oh, man.
Do you think people are going to listen to this podcast and be like, man, I...
They're not listening anymore.
No.
They're done.
They're done.
They're done.
Oh, man.
And that's fine.
Yeah.
I wish Hank the best.
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You guys going to vote?
It's primary season, David.
Yeah, we'll see about it. Are you guys going to vote? It's primary season, David. Yeah, we'll see about it.
Are you guys going to vote for Abby Broyles?
You're not because you don't live in Oklahoma.
You can't vote for this.
Who's Abby Broyles?
If I did, then yeah, Rob's.
Who is she?
Is that Art Broyles?
She's someone who, that's good.
Kendall Broyles' wife.
She has no time for the radical right.
She's a lifelong Oklahoman dedicated to fighting for our kids, driving economic development, protecting voting rights, and improving the quality of life for everyone in Oklahoma District 5.
She also has a bit of a potty mouth on her.
Oh, my goodness.
Headline here says parents and a 12-year-old say Abbeybroil's verbally accosted kids at a Valentine's party. That's not a time to-
Can I read a paragraph from this article?
This is all alleged, but yes.
So these were eight girls between the ages of 12 and 13.
According to multiple accounts of the evening, Broyles became intoxicated and spoke derogatorily
to some of the girls.
Okay.
She allegedly called one girl an acne fucker.
What?
That's not funny. which prompted the girl to leave
the room in tears bro is allegedly called another girl a hispanic fucker oh and another a judgy
fucker just rude the last one's just rude not as racist as the middle one but definitely not good
you're any of these fuckers you're a judgy little fucker any of these fuckers come through the wall
my god she likes she likes the the word fucker did you get the
part where she vomited into a laundry basket yeah and also on some shoes the child's shoes
allegedly allegedly um what's the most interesting place you've ever spewed
vomited that is i have a great control of my spewing actually all right i should have known
that you didn't play ball here brett can you give me an answer that isn't just gassing yourself up
because you have like a great stomach or whatever no on the on the bench at a hockey game been there
yep redbird skate land i puked in a trash can right next to the bench because you were doing
sprints no it was because i had gone, like three or four years without playing hockey.
And I came back and just tried to do some pickup.
And I went real hard.
And I got the matches in my lung thing.
And then I just blew chunks in a trash can.
Yeah, that happened literally the first time I came back and played.
Yeah.
Blew chunks on the bench in the trash can.
She's denying this, by the way.
She's saying this is a political attack.
Oh, well, you know.
I don't think so. Calling them all motherfuckers. Fucker this, by the way. She's saying this is a political attack. Oh, well, you know. I don't think so.
Calling them all motherfuckers.
Fucker this, fucker that.
It was.
This fucker.
It was like live tweeted or someone.
One of the kids tweeted about it.
The mommy.
The mom.
The mommy tweeted it.
Her name is Sarah Matthews.
And she says, since it's been five days and you have neglected to reach out
to any of the young ladies,
12 and 13 year olds,
including my daughter,
you verbally and emotionally abused last week.
And I thought it would be,
I thought it would give you a chance
to try to apologize at a minimum here.
This is of course on Twitter
and this is a thread 104.
Yeah, this doesn't seem like a political attack.
Whoa.
For someone who pontificates.
She admitted to throwing up in the hamper.
Although we've all been there.
We'll say her handle is quite sus.
What?
At MA66915987.
Do you think she's doing a lot of good tweets from that?
She joined Twitter in February of 2020.
That's the one I was referring to.
Yeah.
Which one?
Wait, hold on.
Which one is it?
Go ahead.
I was talking about at MA66915987.
Okay.
Not only did you scare and traumatize these beautiful girls with your words,
you ruined a pair of their shoes with your vomit exclamation,
which she saved up to buy with her own money.
I don't believe that.
I wonder if they were all birds.
I don't.
How does a 12-year-old make money?
All hours.
Yeah, but that's under the table.
You don't think she's reporting that?
You think she's not reporting her allowance to the federal government? I think that's the real story here. Right. Exactly. And I bet the mom's skimming off the table. You don't think she's reporting that? I think she should be. You think she's not reporting her allowance to the federal government?
I think that's the real story here.
Right.
Exactly.
And I bet the mom's skimming off the top.
And their crypto transactions.
Oh.
She's going off the top.
Can I read this paragraph?
She got a little intoxicated.
She was a little loosey-goosey.
This is what Abby Royals has said in an interview.
She's sipping the hooch.
She had the bottle pretty hot
Here's a defense
Plus
Plus a
That's a stupid laugh
Abby Royals said
She asked me to come over
She asked me to bring some wine
We had wine and sushi
And a couple of hours later
We were upstairs
Girls night
We were upstairs in the theater room
Watching a movie
They definitely listened to Shania Twain at some point in the evening.
Broyle said, for years I've struggled with stress and anxiety and insomnia.
Subtle Fletcher, I took the bar exam on two hours of sleep.
I mean, this is how far it goes back for me.
I took it on like six hours of sleep.
She gave me a medication that I'd never taken before.
I had an adverse reaction.
Instead of helping me sleep, I hallucinated.
I don't remember anything until I woke up and I was throwing it up in a hamper that's scary i wonder what the
medication was no sleeping who am i ambient i was gonna say a little ambient red wine and ambient
fun fact i've never taken ambient neither have i have you done i have not you want to y'all want
to take ambien have a sleepover the common trope with uh ambien is that if you fight the effects
of ambien you start to hallucinate yeah that's that's kind of the thing about it so if you try
to stay up i'll be up all night no sleep it was the uh yeah it's the, what do you call it? Not a predecessor, but after the thing they took in Wolf of Wall Street.
What are those called?
Quaaludes?
Quaaludes.
It's like the modern day Quaaludes.
Sure.
Not as strong.
Anyway.
Yeah.
She was in a TikTok that was at the house.
So she was there.
Oh, yeah.
First she denied it.
She denied being there.
And then she's like, yeah, I was there there i might have puked in the in the hamper we've all been there sometimes
sometimes like uh on the weekend when i look at the big stack of laundry i puke in my hamper
because i'm so disgusted you can't call a 12 year old girl an acne fucker nor the other he's nothing
to joke about no we're a judgy fucker we're a
hispanic fucker or anything really can't do that one any of these fuckers come through the wall
man this is tough i don't know no she look as you know we are fair and balanced here
i wonder if this is going to hurt her uh ability to be the uh nominee she's a democrat
yeah what's her uh what's she running for like state right congress district whatever i don't
even know if they call them districts there i clearly only read the juicy parts and not the
boring parts since i don't i'll never be in a position how's the campaign of our our uh the
oil rig lady going um oh yeah she's got it locked up, dog.
I don't know if that's right.
Okay.
I'll keep track.
I'll be like the guy on NBC
who does the maps.
You mean the most overrated guy on TV?
John Kornacki or whatever his name is.
Is he the one they try to force into
Olympic coverage and NFL Sunday?
NFL Sunday,
complete unnecessary segment segment i hate that
and i'll tell you what he was electric on the on the election map stuff but broward county
yeah you can't this is miami-dade county the candle that burns twice as bright dave it's always
florida that's tough man that's tough abby we will uh if you want to come on to this podcast
and give us a rundown of what happened we will we will if you want to come on to this podcast and give us a rundown
on what happened
we will
we will hold you
accountable
we'll be fair
we're gonna platform
that individual
do you think she should
be deplatformed
what
he absolutely pissed
on that did he not
he did
he totally did
the home run
I showed you earlier
Brett's watching it
it's a home run
he's
he's shat on it
David
he's got an aluminum bat
it's a piss missile
every home run
with an aluminum bat is a piss missile.
That is not true.
You know what they've done to aluminum bats over the years?
They dead them.
They dead the hell out of them, Dylan.
Thank you.
It's just a fucking travesty, to be honest with you.
That dude's nickname is the Hispanic Titanic.
Just saying.
What's his name?
I hope he hits bombs.
Ivan Melendez.
Or Yvonne, I'm not sure how he says it.
Okay.
Can we talk about something that's near and dear to all of our hearts?
Mm-hmm.
And twins!
Yeah, there it is.
Tell us about the twins, Dylan.
You're a big twins guy.
Yes, I would love to tell you about the twins.
So there is a pair of identical twin brothers who married a pair of identical twin sisters how does that happen kind of weird
well if you go to like this website and search for it they have it so each couple the website
he said each couple had a son recently each one had a son so two sons one by each couple
although they are technically cousins okay sure are you following
i'm here technically they're cousins whiteboarding this is doing a punnett square
technically cousins however due to their genetics they are genetically brothers
biologically genetically brothers i'm i'm here okay yeah it gets weirder how they all live together oh fuck
what the fuck they all live together is there some swip swapping going on they swap absolutely
swapping swapping spit an accidental intentional swap you know an accidental swap on purpose
like oh this you think they're swinging this must be heather but it's not it's i don't know
their actual names but it's actually uh cassandra i don't know their actual names, but it's actually Cassandra.
I don't know their names again.
I just made up some names there.
Cassandra.
I think it's why do they live together?
They presumably are two successful couples who are having children in this day and age.
They probably have enough to, I don't know, maybe do an apartment situation.
I think they're just freaking weird.
Have you seen the cost of living?
I think they're just freaking weird.
Also with inflation.
This feels like Salt Lake City. And hey, do you know what the cost of freedom is? Have you seen this Ukraine thing? Apparently a dollar at the desk. Well, you're
going to pay for it at the pump because that's the cost of freedom, Brett. The sisters' names are-
That's what I was told. Brianna and Brittany. Come on, that's too close.
No, seriously, do they meet at a twin convention? Like, do they go and like Joe Mowers there?
Maybe a twins meeting.
Giving the keynote speech.
Justin Morneau.
I love Justin Morneau.
He hit bombs.
He just seemed like a nice guy.
Concussion issues, though.
Yeah, head.
He's got a huge head.
Big head, Dylan.
You can relate.
Yes, I do have a large head.
Thank you, David.
Hey, where do these people live, Dylan?
Was I right on something?
I'm not seeing that yet.
They're still working out with their children.
Did you even read the story?
They're still working out with their children.
We'll call each of them.
But I've thrown around ideas like daddy and donkle, mom and aunt mom.
We're not doing donkle.
We're not doing donkle.
They have an Instagram where it's a joint four-person Instagram.
I'm going to leave the industry.
I'm no longer a media personality
dave said it's bullshit to have a a couple's instagram i think most people say that they
have a four a couple couple instagram this shit is so weird man they're virginians no they're not thank you they have they dress like these parents dress the same way this is they this is a bit
this is a clout the dudes have the same haircut like it's just it's weird what the fuck man these
people are weirdos let me say this i hate though. Hey, before you guys rush to judgment. Hey, I hate you guys.
Before you two rush to judgment, let me save you here.
What they choose to do behind closed doors as consenting adults is their business.
There is a 0% chance they haven't swung at some point.
What do you mean?
Swingers.
Do you think they're just swinging down the block?
Or for the fences because they're the twins?
Kyle and Ben Dujo enthusiastically pumping his fist at that joke.
Rochester Red Wings, twins farm team.
No one cares.
Who's our buddy on the twins, Brent Rooker?
Brent Rooker, yeah.
Why do they all wear the same shit?
They're very clearly leaning into this.
They're weird people, man.
Because they realize that they're, first of all, they met and they're like, well, this they're weird people man because they realize that they're
first of all they met and they're like well if we do all this
we can wait people will follow us
like people followed the octal mom remember her
she was the mom she gave birth to an octopus
yeah people forget that
I'm out
I'm out on them
how many followers do they have
160,000
their twins are named jackson jet
excuse me they're they're children not they're not twins they're brothers technically what's
the last name the solier they straight up consider like each kid to be it thought they're just one
family unit basically i'm in awe of the size of this how much do you think their cameo is did
they do they're doing cameo yeah
uh fifty dollars forty four dollars pretty close i'm really good at this i think they met on tlc's
extreme sisters how do you settle on 44 i've seen that video our our twin sane wedding
what they gotta cut that shit out.
Proud new parents. Twin sane.
Earth's most recent quaternary twins.
Here to bring you a double, double dose of luck and smiles.
Josh and Jeremy are the brothers.
I don't want to be around anymore.
Double, double dose of smiles is like Dylan on the pickup court.
I hate these couples.
You think they're Disney couples?
I don't know, man.
They're definitely into Disney.
Nothing wrong with being into Disney, but they're definitely into it.
Isn't there a much higher likelihood that they have twins themselves being twins?
You know how that works?
You're saying a genetic predisposition.
Yeah.
I haven't really brushed up on my emphasis on pre.
My genetics, but I could look into that for you.
Geography than genetics? i'd say so i've gotten world old the last like two weeks in a row which is like wordle but it's one it's a
country what's the deal with wordle being so hard now what's the deal with wordle i'm doing a verbal
meme this is like after you go to d Dave's house and have beers in his garage.
No one else can see that.
The people at home are wondering, okay, that's a decent line, but we can't see the image.
Dads are dorks.
I'll say it.
We were all thinking that. Do they have dork face?
Yeah, they do have dork face.
They have pretty good engagement, though, on their gram.
Doing big time comments.
They're not doing anything wrong, right, to our knowledge?
No. They're definitely- They're, right? To our knowledge? No.
They're definitely weird.
There's some tax evasion for sure.
Some white collar crimes.
Very cool.
If you subpoena a twin, does that technically count as subpoenaing the other twin?
No.
No?
No.
They're separate units.
They're different people.
Yeah.
What if they were conjoined twins uh davey if you were
conjoined with with your boy one of the worst movies of all time would you want to uh would
you want to split it up or would you be like no do they regret making that movie dave what if you
are conjoined stuck on you is that what it is what an absolute pile of shit dave i have a legal
question for you what if you're a conjoined twin and one of them commits murder and is convicted?
Do you both have to go to prison?
That's a great question, Dylan.
What happens?
I feel like, and then based on my experience, I think this would be very rare,
as I think most conjoined twins are generally incapable of, they're very don't know i don't want to i don't know
man joined twins who are like attached at the hip and shit i know but they're not it's walking
around are they yeah i've never seen that some people chill they're conjoined twin i feel like
that's very rare yeah those yeah yeah they're not catching bodies what if one of them caught a body
i think they did a video on it. And they both did.
Or like intoxicated manslaughter.
Hopefully that doesn't happen.
Why intoxicated manslaughter?
I'm just saying it could happen.
What a very specific crime.
That's a crime that you go to jail for.
I know.
Let's take the charges down a bit.
What if it's like tax fraud?
Insider trading.
I feel like judges are going to be like, hey.
We need a fucking answer, David.
It's going to happen at some point Probation
Probation?
Yeah
But then we both got to serve it though
Yeah because
What are they going to
They can't
They're not going to separate
What if
What if one of them is like
Yo this chick
Straight up killed someone last night
I saw it happen
I'm snitching
I don't want any part of this
I got to tell you man
In all my years
In the legal profession
I've never seen this happen
I want an answer.
This has definitely come up.
I want to know. I'm curious.
They obviously don't...
I don't want to know. I have to know now.
Do they have two social security numbers?
I think if there are two brains,
two heads, you know?
Dua Lipa.
Well, they're sisters. I don't know if they have two heads.
Man, I am... Is that a penis joke?
Yeah
I'm real down the rabbit hole
On joint twins here man
See dude
You're wondering
One of them goes to the clink
The other one's gotta go too
Yeah there's really
No other way around
You can't just cut them in half
That's tough
So like one of them
Like serving a hard time
And like yeah
I gotta go to prison
With my sister
She killed some dude But she The other one didn't do anything So she gets to like serving hard time and like, yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to prison with my sister. She killed some dude.
But she, the other one didn't do anything.
So she gets to like play Game Boy and shit.
Or Switch, probably Switch these days.
But she's still locked up in the, in the pen.
Right.
But she has more access.
They probably do like a, yeah, they probably do like a work release kind of thing.
Like half the time you gotta be in the clinic.
Can I ask y'all a favor that has nothing to do with this?
Can y'all get through the next ad read as I run to the men's room?
Sure.
What's the read, Dave?
Oh, gosh.
It's Mizzen.
Oh.
We're Mizzen boys now.
We are Mizzen boys.
Go ahead, Dave.
I've got a Mizzen anecdote that I need to get in before.
Okay.
True story.
I was at the mall actually looking for a gift for parks.
A young man who worked at a store, a shoe store.
A Mizzen and Main button
down. He asked me, he goes, Hey, what, what are those pants? He asked me if they were another
brand, a very, a big brand that you've heard of, very popular. And I said, no, they're Mizzen and
Main. He's like, Oh really? And then he looked and I was wearing one of Will's Sunday Scaries
crew necks. He goes, great fit, man. This is like a 20 year old dude. And, uh, let me just say that
I felt really good about myself in that, in that time. So that's all I got. Have a great ad read.
Thank you. Mizzen. Hey Dylan. Thank you, David. You remember when we went to the, this is,
I'm going to tease a, an upcoming drop. There's a video that Randy's working hard on where we go
to the Mizzen and Maine store. You might have seen the Instagram stories that you were in.
Yeah, we were there.
Yeah, Dylan went into the Mizzen and Main changing room and put on an outfit that, when he walked out,
literally left the room speechless.
The people are still talking about it.
There's going to be a moment on the video where everybody's like,
oh, because Dylan had a button-down on that took people's breath away.
It took good care of us.
I had a button-down on.
I also had some dope pants on.
It's the material is what sets them apart from me.
Because guess what?
Are you uncomfortable in the summer wearing traditional clothing sometimes?
Buddy, you have no idea.
Yep.
The blistering heat, the steamy public transit, or just getting in your car after a round of golf.
Maybe it's an annoying co-host that is getting under your skin in the summer because of the heat.
Like you.
Guess what?
That's where Mizzen and M Maine's helping out, Dylan.
My dress shirts used to wrinkle.
They were stiff.
They made me sweat like Randy.
And I used to dread wearing dress shirts to record this podcast or be on camera, period.
Right?
In our business casual initiative.
But not anymore because Mizzen and Maine is here to help.
You got to check them out.
They combine the comfort and flexibility of your favorite athletic wear with the fit and style of a custom dress shirt lightweight
breathable and moisture wicking this bad boy will have you looking great guess what
what skip the dry clean i was gonna say you also get to skip the dry skip the dry cleaner because
the press uh their dress shirts are machine washable so you can skip those trips to the dry cleaner you take them out of the drawer
you feel like you got them out of you got them from the cleaner just now think of the time and
money you're saving there right dave i've been saying it right whether you're updating your
wardrobe to head back to the office or just looking for a new fall flannel we've got good
news right now if you go to mizzenandmain.com
and use promo code CIRCLINGBACK,
you'll receive $35 off any regular price order
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That's $35 off when you go to m-i-z-z-e-n-a-n-d-m-a-i-n.com
and use promo code CIRCLINGBACK.
Do you want to do your unsolicited recommendation now,
or do you want to just save it for Wednesday?
I want to do it now.
Do it, Daddy.
I want to do it right now, David.
Yeah, I've been watching this show that I don't even know why I started watching.
I think it was a Bay Choice.
It's on Netflix.
And it is called Love is Blind.
Here's why I like this show.
It's so bad that it's very enjoyable it's one of those like it's so bad you can't look away i've made i've often made fun
of um the bachelor and bachelorette franchise because the format of the show is just so dumb
you're supposed to propose at the end of a several week you know uh experiment basically where you're dating people on national television
and you're dating 20 people at a time very stupid idea for a show very popular however yeah i was
quite successful franchise are you familiar with the with like a year and a half ago when the show
went viral no okay but i i know this is the song i'm watching the second season i know this is not
like a brand new show okay but. But it's new to me.
And I want to share it with you in case you too, like me, are slow to pick up on this show.
So the format goes like this.
You're dating someone blindly, basically.
You can only talk to them through a wall.
You have no idea what they look like.
Right?
It's kind of like my dates just anyway.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't know what they
look like send me a video like this is there a little hole cut out like hip level david
do they send you a different kind of video i think no that sounds that sounds about right
so there are 15 women and 15 men and then you get to like it's they get to talk to all you know
you get to talk to each other and you figure out who's compatible or whatever,
but you don't know what the person looks like.
You don't know what they look like until you propose marriage to them.
Yes.
So if you, you hit a knee and if, if this person says yes,
then you get to like actually see them.
No, no, no protesting.
You hit a knee to propose marriage.
And like, she would get all excited and be like i'm actually protest protesting injustice the show is so dumb
so once they propose and they meet each other for the first time the wedding is a month later
uh-oh it's but that's a fun month there's this this woman on there who like she's you know she
gets engaged right and she meets this guy that she's, you know, she gets engaged, right?
And she meets this guy that she's been talking to through a wall for a couple of weeks or whatever it is.
And she's talking to, she's like doing the interview portion of the show.
And she's like, yeah, he's really great.
I'm just not that attracted to him.
Like, yeah, no shit.
Right.
That's, yeah.
That's kind of an important part of a relationship, I would think.
Chemistry.
You know? It's just so dumb and then they they like get to know each other and like they fight over shit that they should have figured out in like a regular relationship you know where
you get to like be around a person it's just this dumbest thing of all time but also very
entertaining there's a guy on there. His name is Shane.
I tweeted about this character.
The most off-putting person I think I've ever come across in my entire life.
Really?
He is an absolute jackass.
Annoying as hell.
There's a scene where the girl he's talking to,
he asks her to be his girlfriend.
She says yes.
They're officially a couple, right?
Okay.
Are you talking about Natalie?
Natalie. Later on that day, the other girl he's talking to shana uh she walks in there and they're like flirting whatever
and she's like hey so natalie told all of us that you guys are now uh boyfriend girlfriend
and he's like yes what do you care what she has to say? What do you mean?
You're in a relationship now.
The whole thing is just so dumb, but also really fun.
Give it a try.
Yeah, I watched season one.
Did you?
Yeah.
I'm talking to the people listening.
What do you think of season one?
Yeah, I thought it was entertaining.
It was great pandemic television.
Yeah.
I know we were just doing absolutely nothing. I've heard season one is good. I need to go back and watch it was it was great pandemic television yeah i've heard we were just doing absolutely nothing i've heard season one is good i need to go back and watch it was here's a here's
a sentence i did not expect when looking up something on shane some netflix viewers want
to learn more about shane and shana while other reddit users are curious about shane's laugh
drugs parentheses coke autism gaslighting and look alike yeah he does seem like he's very coked out at all times
he's like very fidgety his mad rhythms are kind of all over the place he's very annoying in many
ways yeah um we should do a show called love is colorblind oh where we get colorblind people
and dylan's the host and we match what's weird about being colorblind people and Dylan's the host and we match them up. What's weird about being colorblind is
life is very normal for me.
I know, that's what I'm saying.
So it's just like a regular day.
It's breaking the stigma.
Okay.
So the show is just,
we get those colorblind glasses for everybody
and we just take videos of them seeing like flowers
and stuff for the first time.
Those videos always make me cry.
I cry every time.
Like a kid who hears a sound for the first time or sees a-
It's a very different situation.
What do you mean?
Because being able to hear for the first time,
that's an amazing magical moment.
I'm just saying it's magical.
Seeing the world a little bit differently
for the first time, I was like, oh.
Seeing colors.
That's what blue looks like to you.
It's not a big deal.
Okay, so you're a kid.
If you're colorblind out there, I apologize for coming at you like that. Imagine you're a kid. That's what blue looks like to you It's not a big deal Okay so you're a kid If you're colorblind out there
I apologize
Imagine someone coming at you like that
Imagine you're a kid
That's so cool
You've seen limited colors your entire life
And then you're front row
At a blue man group show
And somebody gives you the glasses
And the next thing you know
The blue's popping
That's a bit different
They're over there beating on a
Fucking trash can or whatever
And they're just blue as all
Fucking hell
Damn
Okay
Blue like that Finnish skier's dick Whoa Call back or whatever. And they're just blue as all fucking hell. Damn. Okay.
Blue like that Finnish skier's dick.
Whoa.
Callback.
Callback.
Can we get out of here?
I'm done.
Hey, can I break
the Saudi Golf League
is dead.
Rest in peace
to Saudi Golf League.
Really?
Did they call it
to the embassy
and chop it up?
Like DJ Screw?
What do you mean?
Is that a joke? That's a geopolitical joke all right we'll see you next we'll see you next time.