Circling Back - Washed Resolutions & Alternative Supplements

Episode Date: December 22, 2021

Final episode of the year. Tear-jerking stuff. Luckily, we got to talk about exactly what everyone wanted us to talk about — the ex-Versace model who drinks his own urine in order to stay youthful. ...We also make some Washed Media-specific resolutions and discuss our Christmas/New Year's Eves in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:00) Ex-Versace Model Drinks His Own Urine (33:33) Washed Media New Year’s Resolutions (59:00) This Christmas in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM) DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (download the app and use WASHED) Postmates: Download the app and use CIRCLING --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 all right we're back circling back podcast presented by row back where you can get 20% off your first order using back or 20 my name's will to freeze to my left david ruff man i cannot believe that we are just a couple days away from christmas eve i am it's like right there then like didn't it sneak up on you this year it always does man christmas eve is just it's the circle day on the calendar oh my gosh man where does the time go the more the more that we talk about the take that Christmas Eve might be better than Christmas, the more that I'm getting a little on board with it. Stop. The more I think I'm on board.
Starting point is 00:00:53 It's a great day because the next day is Christmas, which is the day. You don't understand that? It's not D-Day. Why was Christmas Eve Eve and no one's talking about it? 23rd is a trash day. Everyone knows that. It's not D-Day. Why was Christmas Eve even? No one's talking about it. 23rd is a trash day. Everyone knows that. It's a waste of a day. It's just people driving around trying to pick up gifts that they didn't get online.
Starting point is 00:01:12 That's going to be me. Yeah. Like, it's just a mess out there. I hate the 23rd. Lines at the grocery stores? Well. What's your problem? Dude, and sprinkle a little vid on top of it?
Starting point is 00:01:24 A little Bromacron? Just a little salt bay of vid on top of it a little bromacron just a little salt bay of vid on top of everything it's just gonna amplify everything dude i stopped earlier at a coffee shop on my way here they get a little little super fantastic not a big deal but there was this guy in front of me and i heard he was a grown man and he asked for a little bit of soy milk in his coffee wow i've never had more secondhand embarrassment in my life. This sounds like a tweet. Yeah. Are you sure that this happened to you?
Starting point is 00:01:50 What do you mean? Now that Dylan lives in my neighborhood, I have just— Oh, it's your neighborhood now? Yeah, it's my neighborhood. Welcome. I just have tabs on Dylan at all times. Not only did I drive by your place this morning and see your car parked. You did?
Starting point is 00:02:04 Yeah, I was like, oh, Dylan clearly hasn't left for work. Yeah, he's not a grind boy. That's way out of your way. only did I drive by your place this morning and see your car parked. You did? Yeah, I was like, oh, Dylan's clearly hasn't left for work. Yeah, he's not a grind boy. That's way out of your way. Why would you drive by my place? Because my son had an appointment. You haven't congratulated my son yet on graduating
Starting point is 00:02:12 from him wearing a helmet, Dylan. He's officially done. I'll text him in a little bit. I'm going to keep it on him, though, for bowl season. Congrats to the Fritz man. Yeah. That's big time.
Starting point is 00:02:21 That's big boy shit. He's a big Alabama fan. Really? Yeah, he likes underdogs. He likes big underdog story. I heard he called it that they were going to have a good season. Are you going to show him the Kurt Warner movie? I think I might.
Starting point is 00:02:33 He's kind of a Sean Payton guy. He was working at a grocery store and just throwing rolls of toilet paper around the store. It's legitimately an awesome story that's going to be horrible because it's a terrible movie. It's now tainted by this terrible movie. It is a Hollywood-esque story that is now just going to be memed to death by Twitter and us. It's a punchline now.
Starting point is 00:02:57 He's a Hall of Famer. He was the greatest show on turf. He was great. Marshall Falk, among others. Torrey Holt. Orlando Pace. turf he was great marshall falk among others tory holt orlando pace anybody else will are you guys just naming players are these these guys have a common thread they all played for that team oh they did greatest show on turf who was the running back for him at the cardinals emma smith with the cardinals i don't i don't know didn't they play together
Starting point is 00:03:24 the cardinals for a little bit i don't know if they're i don't know. Didn't they play together, the Cardinals, for a little bit? I don't know if they overlapped or not. I think the only person I can name from the greatest show on turf was Marshall Falk. And Kurt Warner. And Kurt Warner, yeah. Kurt Warner. Who was their wide receiver? Emmitt Smith just went to Arizona so he could pad his record and make it unbeatable.
Starting point is 00:03:40 And it worked out because there's a large amount of Cowboy fans in Arizona. Really? It's basically a home game any time they play there. Well, yeah, we're America's team large amount of Cowboy fans in Arizona. Really? It's basically a home game any time they play there. Well, yeah, we're America's team. We are. Yeah, we are. Super Bowl?
Starting point is 00:03:53 We'll see about it. I just want to win a playoff game. Anyway, this guy, he was leaving the coffee shop. And I just gave him just a brutal pump fake, and he spilled his soy latte all over the place. So now you're combining one guy's tweet with the viral TikTok of Nate Diaz pump faking some dude and his beer. Did you see that, Will? No. Dude, his beer exploded.
Starting point is 00:04:21 He pump faked some poor guy. That guy's a Bellator fighter. Dude, he was holding a beer. I'm going to show Will in real time. The beer splashed like five feet up in the air. See, this is why I can't go to a prize fight at any time in my life. Because if I have like triple G or something, like pump fake me. Why do you pump fake that, dude?
Starting point is 00:04:36 I'm spilling the beer all over myself. All you have to do is not call them out. Look, watch. It's incredible. You don't have to do that to him. Dude, that beer went everywhere. That's so unnecessary. Not a sip left in that.
Starting point is 00:04:48 The beer, first of all, that's like a, is that a 48-ounce beer? That's a lot. That's so much beer. It exploded with fear. If Nate Diaz pump faked me like that, I might just pass out. Dude, Nate's the ultimate pump faker. Here comes the pump fake guy. He was a bully in high school.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Pump faking doesn't make sense because if you react to it and show that you're ready, then you're the bitch. Next person that pump fakes me, I'm just going to punch them. It's impossible not to react to a pump fake. I'm going to sucker punch somebody. He's different, though. That was one of the coldest moves in NBA history. He's the Black Mamba. Rest in peace.
Starting point is 00:05:27 I can't think of a colder one. Shit was ice cold. That was so close to his face. Yeah. Let's watch this one more time. I'm going to punch someone straight in the face if they pump fake me. I mean, it just goes everywhere. It's like he threw the beer.
Starting point is 00:05:43 It's like he was at an Austin FC game. It's such a schoolyard bully thing to do. What's the top tweet on your timeline right now, David? Oh. It's an Eve Six tweet to Patton Oswalt featuring a photo of Kid Rock and Joe C. Why is the lead singer of Eve Six always beefing with Patton Oswalt? I can't follow. I don't even like Twitter anymore.
Starting point is 00:06:05 He had a tough tweet yesterday, too. He got more blowback for a tweet yesterday than I've ever seen him get before. Talking about Eve Six. Who was he ripping on? He had an unsavory Anthony Bourdain tweet.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Oh, I did see that. I wondered if he would get blowback. Yeah, he got blowback. Usually, I holster tweets about people that have since passed, especially did see that. I wondered if he would get blowback. Yeah, he got blowback. Usually I holster tweets about people that have since passed, especially in tragic ways such as that. That's just me, though. Yeah, you're different. I am different.
Starting point is 00:06:34 We are not the same. Should we get out ahead of this and say that there will be no video for today's podcast? I know we said it on Patreon yesterday, and Randy also just made a ridiculous Photoshop of him following COVID protocols. Yeah, I think we kind of knew he would lean into this and make it content. I'm glad he did. I'm glad we asked him before we recorded
Starting point is 00:06:54 if we could say anything, because, like, what if we made up some lies, like, why he wasn't here, and then he just starts doing COVID content? Like, oh yeah, he's got COVID. I mean, shouts to Randy. If there's one person that I know is going to make it through without taking the smile off his face, it's that son of a bitch, Randy.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Yeah. Yeah, you put it pretty well there. He's going to be just... Like, the way that he handled the Austin freeze, I have all the faith in the world that Randy will handle this with East. Why are we rhyming so much on this episode? Dude, because we got bars, dog. We got bars.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Dude, his freeze is underrated bad. Like, his experience in having to go to multiple places was, I forgot all about that. Yeah, I don't know how he kept such good spirits throughout the whole thing. I would have been a miserable POS. Because people like that are survivors. You got to stay optimistic. I'm a survivor. From a work perspective, that was
Starting point is 00:07:47 a low point for me in 2021. The freeze. Having to do the... I don't even... Why did we even do a podcast the day it was frozen? I was pretty much doing it in a hallway and it was the most echoey audio that I could have ever put out. They were calling you with the freeze. No days off unless we're talking about next week.
Starting point is 00:08:04 In which case we have all the days off. Have we ever done that? Have we ever taken a full week where no one did anything? No. I really don't believe we have. It's crazy. Not even at Circling or the other pod, Touching Base. Yeah, like, no, we...
Starting point is 00:08:17 Maybe we did. No, that's a good... I don't know if we did. The best Touching Base episodes were when Grand X was moving offices and we were just doing them in Brad Key's living room. Or Micah's pool house. Or Micah's pool house. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:08:32 That was a weird time, wasn't it? Do you think Brad's finished remodeling? Their place is sick. It's a good spot. It's a really good spot. I don't know. A whole bedroom, right? Master suite.
Starting point is 00:08:43 That's insane. I'm going to start pump faking more. I'm not. I think that's a really rude thing to do to people. Put that on my resolutions list for next year. You put it on your own resolutions list, and then I will give you a nod when you're allowed to talk about that. More pump fakes. Some official business to get out of the way.
Starting point is 00:09:01 I want everyone to listen up and listen up closely. We need you guys to do some stuff so that we're prepared to jump straight into content for the new year. Okay? Okay? I'm listening. First and foremost, we're going to start next year on Tuesday. May Tuesday. We're doing a Worst Of episode.
Starting point is 00:09:23 If you have any New Year's stories from last year, from the year before, from any year, send us your New Year's stories. I don't think we've ever done a New Year's specific Worst Of episode. Send it to worstof at washmedia.com or you can go to washmedia.com and click on the Worst Of logo on the homepage and there's a form right there. You can go fill
Starting point is 00:09:40 it out. But I want all the New Year's Eve stories that we can possibly get. And if we have enough, I might even do two episodes. But I want all the New Year's Eve stories that we can possibly get. And if we have enough, I might even do two episodes, but I want all the New Year's Eve content filtered directly into us. Okay? Okay? We're starting back on the third, right? Third's a Monday.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Day after my birthday for you guys keeping track. TBD on my birthday plan, so you guys free on the second. It's a Sunday night. Dude. Might be a Cowboys game, honestly. Playoffs. Playoffs? Playoffs? That might be the last game of the season.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Week 17? Week 18? How many weeks are we doing this year? I don't care. Either way, we're still up at watchmedia.com. 18 weeks, 17 games. Cool. January 2nd, Cowboys-Cardinals.
Starting point is 00:10:20 What time is it? Put up or shut up. This might be for seeding purposes. May seed. It's at 325. We going to go watch it at Woodrow's? Sure. Yeah, it's my birthday Put up or shut up. This might be for seeding purposes. My seed. It's at 325. We going to go watch it at Woodrow's? Sure. Yeah, it's my birthday.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Let's squad up. Let's absolutely mop. Let's squad. Brett gets back from NOLA that day. So we're going to say, hey, man, hope you had fun in New Orleans. Now we're drinking. Do I have a reservation at a high-end steakhouse for my birthday? Yeah, I do.
Starting point is 00:10:42 For how many? Eight. Who's going? TBD. No one's been invited yet. Your boy's available. Well, maybe I'll be in touch. You know my phone's working. Maybe I will be in touch. I'm charging an admission
Starting point is 00:10:56 fee. It's 50 bucks ahead. It'd be messed up if you announced that you had reservations for that many in front of us, to us, and didn't include us. You guys might get a text. There might be a – if all goes to plan, I think it might just be a touching base reunion. I'm going to do – If all goes to plan.
Starting point is 00:11:13 If not, I'm going to do a competing reservation at a competitive steakhouse. Slightly – a little bit, you know, like you're going to probably do a four-star. I'm going to do a three-star. I've never been to this place. I've never been to the place we're going to. Dave, I'm listening. Maybe a place where you can put your peanut shells on the floor. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Have an ice cold beer. Are you talking about somewhere specific or are you just like putting them? How do you not know that that's Texas Roadhouse? Oh, is it? I thought your buddy, didn't your buddy walk in there and he was allergic to peanuts? No, no. It was different. It was a, no. It was different. It was a different bar.
Starting point is 00:11:46 It was a different bar. It was a bar in Michigan. And I walked in with him and I was like, oh yeah, we probably can't be here. His face. Do people, that brings up a great question. Do people with peanut allergies just know that, like how do they announce to people like don't enter the premises because you might actually die? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Do people just know? The same people with like peanut allergies are the same people that put cream in their coffee so they're not welcome at texas roadhouse peanut allergy is a weird one man yeah we introduced peanut butter like your lungs will just straight up close and you'll just die we we we introduced some peanut butter to fritz the other day he absolutely loved it i'm trying to i'm trying to get i don't even know what the terminology is like can i get his antibodies up for peanut butter so he's not allergic to that shit you would have known by now it's i think it's from birth okay yeah you're good yeah i need him to be a peanut butter boy that shit's wild man yeah we go through a lot of nut butters up in that we're talking almond butter walking into texas roadhouse is just a
Starting point is 00:12:38 death sentence for those people facts yeah i've never thought of it like that yeah it's crazy you guys want another big announcement outside of the worst of making its triumphant return spotify you can officially review podcasts on spotify if you're a spotify listener or if you just have spotify and you're trying to help the squad out go on to all your favorite watch media podcasts, including this one, and go mash that five star button. You haven't been able to do that previously? No.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Did not know that. Yeah. That's weird. Brand new. So people are out there just like, just guessing on which podcasts go hard. That's fags. It's dumb. It's fags.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Also, Circling Batch, it's triumphant conclusion starts today, right after this episode. Patreon.com slash Circling Batch Podcast. If you're listening for Thursday voicemails, I got a spoiler alert for you. They dropped yesterday. Yup. Yup. Mm-hmm. And finally, let's hear from Postmates.
Starting point is 00:13:38 With Postmates, I can get all my favorite foods from local restaurants in my neighborhood delivered. No leaving the house. And even better, no getting in the car and having to go find a parking spot. Nothing worse than going and picking up food and realizing that you have to go get like a parking spot there. You're just driving around fighting for it. There is not one thing worse in this world. You're right. No, there's nothing worse. And Postmates isn't just burritos and sushi. I can order things like toothpaste and phone charges on demand too. That's because places like Walgreens and 7-Eleven are on Postmates as well. Want to grab some sush. We could grab some Sush. My favorite part is when the app
Starting point is 00:14:08 lets me know that my food or items have been delivered. Everything is right outside my door. It never gets old. Just download the Postmates app on iOS or Android. Find your favorite foods or that one thing that you forgot to get from the store and you can get it delivered on demand. They got a limited time deal. You guys ready for this? Yes. Let's go. For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners a little something. New customers will get $20 off your first order of $30 or more when you use code CIRCLING20 at checkout.
Starting point is 00:14:36 That's code CIRCLING20 to get $20 off your first order of $30 or more. Just download the Postmates app or sign up online because it's super easy. The offer is subject to change and taxes and fees do apply. But the offer is valid for 30 days after you add the promo code to your account. So just go make it happen. You don't want to leave the house. We were just talking about how miserable it is to run errands on the 23rd. Make someone else do it for you.
Starting point is 00:14:57 And let them get paid while they're doing it. So you guys see about this Versace model that drinks his own piss? I got a lot of problems with this guy. Why? My first problem with this guy is that his story is written up on the worst website of all time. New York Post? Just a hell of video ads. Dude, you got to get an ad blocker, my guy.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Really? Did that block the videos from just playing? I live on ad blockers. If you want to drink your pee-pee, and if you want to rub it on your skin and do whatever, and he gives himself enemas with it too. What's your problem? I'm just saying, like, if that's your thing,
Starting point is 00:15:34 if you're a sicko who does this, okay. Why would you tell the world about it? Because. Everybody knows that you're the pee-pee guy. Hey, first of all, have you even looked at the story? Yeah. Because if you saw what this guy looked like, you wouldn't be asking those questions. Well, I've read the whole thing, David.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Because the guy looks great. All I see is – The guy looks amazing. He's 55 years old, Dylan. Okay. In a few years when you're 55, you're going to pee all over your face. I see this bearded, fit, 55-year-old man, and all I can see is, oh, he's the pee-pee guy. I like this guy.
Starting point is 00:16:01 I'm actually in on him. His name's Troy Casey. He says he traveled the world posing for high fashion labels including Versace back in the 1980s and 1990s before becoming a life coach. The 55-year-old says that he's been able to maintain his model looks and physique thanks to a daily dose of his own pee.
Starting point is 00:16:15 I drink my own urine every morning. I call it hair of the dog, Casey proclaimed in an interview with News Dog Media. The feeling is electric. I don't know if hair of the dog really fits. Yeah, it's literally piss. Unless you drank a bunch of piss the night before. And then you're just like, man, I need a piss to get me back to normal. Yeah, I got faded off that you juice.
Starting point is 00:16:35 That's urine. You juice. Dylan, does this guy not look fantastic? No, he does. He looks great. Okay. But why are we just so quick to attribute it to the pee-pee? Because he's on a steady diet of pee-pee. It says he did a seven-day urine fast.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Okay. It says his flat stomach and six-pack abs come from regular urine enemas. Yeah. Have you ever done a urine enema? I have a question for this guy. Does he work out? What's his routine like? Yeah. Based on how he looks, I think he might work out. That's my point. It's probably from the working out and the superior genetics, and not from the PB. Classic chicken or the egg. That's what we have here.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Did you know this is also the butthole sunning guy? Yeah, this guy has more vitamin D in his butthole than any of us in the room. Because he takes all of his clothes off and points his butthole to the sun. So what's the... What is the... What's... As someone who's never done any butthole sunning, unfortunately... You haven't?
Starting point is 00:17:31 What is the benefit of getting sun on your butthole? Just like a vitamin D injection straight to the... It's just D right to the butt. Straight to the two holes. But is it... Does your body absorb more vitamin D through your butt? I don't get it. Is it the skin?
Starting point is 00:17:47 Hard to say. I just clicked on the article. Hard to say. I'm going to follow this guy on Instagram. I'm in. Hey. Yeah. I'm all the way in.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Okay. He calls himself T-Bone. The hottest trend gripping wellness. Oh, there's already a T-Bone. Hold on. I'm going to explain the perineum sunning, which is your butthole. The hottest trend gripping wellness diehards is tanning their cans, or perineum sunning, as influencers are calling it.
Starting point is 00:18:13 In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on, says an influencer who goes by Raw of Earth. Probably not this person's real name. That person Raw Dog is the Earth? Something like that, yeah. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:18:35 He lets the pee-pee ferment. It's a quick injection of vitamin D. I shut down. Look, I'm just reading the article, folks. Don't come at me. Oh, man. This guy, I was going gonna follow him on instagram if it was just all piss drinking content but unfortunately it's not he's got he's got some he made me might be skewing a little too political for me so you're you're disappointed to find out it's not just piss you don't need a mask when you're wearing when you're drenched in pp yeah that's true he'sequipped to take on anything that compromises his immune system.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Because just as Dylan stated, at just 30 seconds of sunlight on your bare two-hole can give you an extreme amount of energy and vitamin D. Here's a question. Allegedly. Allegedly. Instead of every day, instead of taking off your underpants and walking outside and tanning your butthole, what if you just took vitamin D in pill form?
Starting point is 00:19:30 Like, supposit it? You could just take it orally with a glass of water. Because they want it from nature, Will. This is natural vitamin D. Was this guy the lead singer of one of my favorite 90s bands? The Butthole Sunners?
Starting point is 00:19:47 Okay. I never got into the Butthole Surfers. There's nothing to really get into. Yeah. Okay, this link... Spievous and Butt had a rip in their video. They linked to his Instagram account. It says he has more than 120,000 Instagram followers.
Starting point is 00:20:00 That's a hyperlink. If you go to it, he has just over 6K. Something's not adding up here. Can I just say I'm so happy that you called's a hyperlink. If you go to it, he has just over 6K. Something's not adding up here. Can I just say I'm so happy that you called it a hyperlink? That's what they're called. Is that an old man term? Yeah. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:20:14 I could have just said a link. It's a link that's hyper, though. Think about it. No. It's a link that just tans its two-hole. No one's doing hyperlink anymore. I didn't even say. It's a link.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Yeah. But it's hyper. It's not hyper. A link is just the raw like URL, right? Hyper is like a word that you can click on. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:20:33 It's like going from the Facebook to Facebook. Now to meta. I love this guy's this guy's just whole ethos. He claims Big Pharma is terrified of people learning the secret
Starting point is 00:20:42 to their own health lies within themselves. What's his whole ethos? What so many pharmaceutical companies don't want to tell you is that humans are the secret to health. That's why I try to teach people everything I do. People should be scared if they're eating shitty food and doing pharmaceutical drugs. Why should they be scared to try their own urine? So this dude just, his neighbors walk out to get the paper.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Or they're out back like trimming the trees. They look over and this guy's just drinking his piss and sunning his butthole. I don't, I don't like the fact that like, I'm imagining the dinner that I ate last night, which was just a bunch of chicken tenders with like macaroni and cheese and, you know, potato salad, some, some collard greens in there. And he's, I can see him just like scoffing at me while he's drinking his pee and making me feel like I'm less of a person. He's just over there ripped.
Starting point is 00:21:29 He's significantly older than all of us. And you're over here eating chicken nugs. Yeah, but he's kind of convincing me, like, wait, maybe he's onto something. What's his name? His name's Troy. He doesn't look like a Troy. Let me get that out there.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Troy Casey, dude. Yeah, Troy. Ugh. What, Dylan? The urine on the skin. He says the urine on the skin gives him his youthful glow because it's high in uric acid, which is found in high-end skincare products.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Interesting. Might be something to that. I don't know. Breast milk does that. Facts? Fritz had something Like kind of blemish On his face at one point
Starting point is 00:22:08 We put some breast milk On there Dude Little dude was cruising Remember I told you What our lactation consultant Told us Which one?
Starting point is 00:22:15 The hospital one That's the only one You should trust Probably the best one To be honest She said that Her daughter Was attacked by a peacock And it scratched her with its talons,
Starting point is 00:22:29 and they put breast milk on it, and it healed it. This is what we were told. Attacked by a peacock? We've all been there. I wonder if it was Pico from the old Grand X office. Remember Pico? What's the restaurant that has all the peacocks out in the courtyard? Maddy's.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Yeah. I think it was at Maddie's. Are peacocks to be trifled with? You don't want to encroach, especially during mating season. If they put their feathers out and make them look all awesome, that's a warning shot. Like, hey, don't come closer. They're not spreading them out to give me a hug? No.
Starting point is 00:23:00 No. What's up, dude? It's to intimidate you. They say, back off. I've got these feathers. Pretty much, yes, David. I know y'all haven't drank your piss before. Have either of you done anything?
Starting point is 00:23:13 Hold on. You don't know that. Have either of you done anything? Don't you remember I was lost in the desert? That's fair. You always do keep that piss on you. They found me. Have you guys ever done anything in the name of health that even like skews to this level of something in the name of health no i don't think i've ever done
Starting point is 00:23:32 anything that's like this gross i'm probably the likely candidate to have done something like this but i can't think of anything i think you are too because. I bet Dave's done the butthole sign thing. Just admit. Just admit. No, I was going to say of the three of drinking, moisturizing, or tanning the two-hole, tanning the two-hole seems to be the easiest to get away with. It's like 30 seconds. What do you do?
Starting point is 00:24:00 You just go out there, stand on your head, or do you have to do feet on your ears? The way that he does it. You grab your feet and you just pull back. See, I can't do that. I'm just sitting in happy baby. Expose your stuff. Happy baby pose in my backyard, just getting the vitamin D.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I can't get in that pose. You can't do happy baby? Mm-mm. Why? I'm just not very flexible. I don't do yoga every day like you i'm really actually definitely does yoga i was thinking about this the other day david i'm proud of your yoga journey that you went on this year thanks i feel like you you knocked out a lot
Starting point is 00:24:34 of yoga sessions do you have like a punch card that you got when you went there i could go on my black swan account and see how many i've done because i feel like you've put in some absolute work on the yoga scene i've probably done 14 or 15 classes in the last few months. I feel like you've done more than that. I have not been going due to the rise in cases just because I'm going home. And I feel like yoga, I don't know if this is true, but a hot yoga studio seems like it could be an event. There's a heavy air there. Yeah. Yeah. Do you breathe hard during yoga? seems like it could be a an event there's a heavy air there yeah
Starting point is 00:25:05 do you breathe hard during yoga i do yeah i'm i'm it's all about breathing and i'm terrible at it anytime they're like take it you know they're they're trying to get you on schedule i'm always off they're like breathe in and i'm like already breathing out and then i have to like i screw it up i'm not good i'm the best sweater in there though no one's sweating better than d-man okay they're gonna be confused when you're just walking in with a bottle of piss next week the problem the problem with doing yoga in austin is that there's always a guy in the class who looks just like our friend troy here the piss shaman that can't just go and do the normal stuff. Like, you look over, and, like, everybody's in, like, a normal lunge pose, and he's just standing on his head.
Starting point is 00:25:48 You're like, okay, fucker. Why does he have a Versace robe? Like, this guy seems like he's... Yeah, it doesn't fit his vibe. No, like, yeah, he should have some, like, homemade thing that he, like, knit himself. And a hemp. Yeah, having a Versace robe kind of... It kind of takes away from his whole, like, earthiness vibe.
Starting point is 00:26:04 That robe is swag, though. It is tight. It is tight. I imagine that the guy from the meme when he walks in wearing the sweatsuit, he goes home and puts on his Versace robe. This guy is just the become ungovernable meme. Look at this photo. I love him.
Starting point is 00:26:19 He's also rocking a very nice Patagonia jacket. Yeah, this guy's a little too corporate for my liking. I want homemade clothes. He drinks his urine and tans his butthole, but he's too corporate for you. Yeah. This guy's a fake bad boy. Let's hear from our friends over at DraftKings. Tis the season of giving a DraftKings sportsbook,
Starting point is 00:26:43 an official sports betting partner of the NFL. It's giving you a Christmas present you won't want to re-gift. New customers will get just $5 on any of the four NFL teams playing on Christmas and win $150 in free bets if they're victorious. So why not win some green and put some extra jingle in your pocket? You get it? Because jingle like Christmas and then jingle like change.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Hopefully you're putting down big boy stacks not just putting pennies on it. Jingle all the way. Are you doing you're doing your Schwarzenegger
Starting point is 00:27:14 impersonation? That was my impersonation of Cat Pat doing Schwarzenegger. Oh, okay. If the sportsbook isn't available in your state yet
Starting point is 00:27:21 your Christmas can still be merry. Everyone can play for a huge cash prize with DraftKings Daily Fantasy Football Contest. And DraftKings is giving all new customers a free shot at millions of dollars in total prizes with their first deposit. All you have to do is download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now, use promo code WASH to bet just $5 on any NFL team to win on Christmas Day, and win $150 in free bets if they're victorious.
Starting point is 00:27:46 That's promo code WASHED this Christmas at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner in the NFL. Must be 21 or older, New Jersey, Indiana, and Pennsylvania. Only new customers. Only minimum $5 deposit and $1 wage required. One per customer. Restrictions do apply.
Starting point is 00:28:01 See DraftKings.com slash Sportsbook for details. And if you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER. I found Troy on Twitter. How's he doing over there? Looks like he's got some tasty licks. There's no way he drinks coffee, right? He's a mate guy. Yeah, you're right.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Would you ever do a coffee enema? No, I've heard such bad things. A coffee enema? Yeah. Why would heard such bad things. A coffee enema? Yeah. Why would anyone ever want to do that? It's a thing. The caffeine allegedly, I don't know if this is backed up by the data, stimulates the prostate, and it creates more of a cleansing effect.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Super F just straight to the two-hole. Just doming it. Yeah. Just backdoor doming. It says, the coffee enema is a type of colon cleanse used in alternative medicine. During the procedure,
Starting point is 00:28:48 a mixture of brewed caffeinated coffee and water is inserted in the colon through the rectum. No cream. Yeah, if you're putting cream in that. Absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:28:57 It says that... No cream in this butt. I'm sorry. Potential benefits. Boosts immunity, increases energy, stops yeast overgrowth, treats autoimmune diseases.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Removes parasites from the digestive tract. Removes heavy metals from the body. Treats depression and treats cancer. This is all alleged, by the way. Yeah, I don't know about that last one. But I will say I don't want heavy metals removed from my body. I just like to rock. They should put this first.
Starting point is 00:29:21 They should definitely not put this at the end of the article after people have read about all the benefits. It says there's no scientific evidence that proves or disproves that coffee enemas are helpful to treat any medical condition. Oh, who would have thought? Yeah, that's crazy. Who is the first person to do this? I don't know. Apparently you can get addicted to it. What sicko is just like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:29:39 This mouth coffee thing is not really... It's not doing it anymore. I've drank too much coffee, man. I got to try something else. What else can I try? I can go back door with it. I mean, it does absorb quicker in your bloodstream, right? Like alcohol.
Starting point is 00:29:54 That's why people tried that for the first time. Not me. You're talking about butt chugging. Butt chugging. And there's also different you know sticking it up there just don't do a coffee certainly i've seen some i've seen some influencers on the internet get absolutely flamed after they say they do coffee enemas on podcasts it's not a good look there's a guy who used to do rogan i don't know if he still does his name is ben something or other anyway he goes on and he's like his whole shtick is he oh his last name is dover it's bit well dude there's no doubt
Starting point is 00:30:32 he is butt-sund but his whole shtick is he does he tries all this stuff did you say rest in p no he says his last name is d as in bendy i'm I'm sorry. Bendy tweet. Look it up. Nope. Rest in P would have also worked. Yeah. Do you think this... Okay. That was some pizza. This is... I'm getting off Troy's Twitter.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I'm not following Troy. Don't follow Troy. He's a bad follow. I've officially decided that he's not a good follow. He's actually a certified bad follow. He's selling merch. Liquid Sunshine merch. Is this a new bubble of adies tea in the in the studio
Starting point is 00:31:07 you're gonna get a liquid sunshine merch piece i really don't want one his uh bio says enter the vortex master nine pillars of health make earth great again creator speaker author hashtag ripped at 50 join the next group cleanse oh you can just squat up and cleanse. Dylan, let's do it. If you have nine pillars of health, shouldn't you just figure out the last one and get 10 in there? Is that like how early on when we were posting columns,
Starting point is 00:31:36 they're like, no, you need to have like a number. It needs to be an even number. And like if it was like nine things that you'll hate about the new Home Alone movie. Whose theory was that? This was, okay, I don't know. People throwing stuff against the wall. I think it was like nine things that you'll hate about the new home alone movie whose theory was that this was okay i don't know throwing stuff against the wall let me base it on bus fee they were like 43 things you have to have this week holiday season maybe it wasn't even numbers it was like no if you have like a random number it has to be random not even i actually
Starting point is 00:31:58 think that even might have been actually worse yeah i think that's right it was early grand x days and i i obviously was the new guy on the scene. And I think I put out a column that was like 20 things, blah, blah, blah. We fired you that day. And Dan approached my desk and he was like, nah, man. No, it's got to be an odd number, like a weird number. Should have done 19. Yeah, he's like, no, you got to do like 21, 23. Just do one more.
Starting point is 00:32:18 Yeah, one more. And I was like, you know what, Dan? Okay. It makes a little bit of sense, but here's what happened. It probably worked for a little bit. Then everybody on the internet started doing it, so it was no longer weird to see a random odd number on there. It may have been a Joe Nola thing.
Starting point is 00:32:36 He was the listicle god. He crushed it. Have you guys ever been to a country club, and you pull in, and it's like, oh, speed limit, like 13 miles an hour. And it's for the amount limit like 13 miles an hour and it's for like uh the amount of like majors somebody won or something or like on a you're driving your baseball stadium it's like seven for so-and-so oh is that why they do that i always just thought they did that just to like really make sure you're paying attention because you're like oh that's
Starting point is 00:32:58 weird seven miles an hour i think 18 is the speed limit around the old miss campus for um archie manning's jersey number or something something like that around the limit around the Ole Miss campus for Archie Manning's jersey number or something. Nice. Something like that. Around the Lions Stadium, Ford Field, they should just make it 16 miles an hour. You know what I mean? The speed limit around Texas State Stadium is 69 for Dylan. Were you number 69 there?
Starting point is 00:33:20 Uh-huh. Or are you just known? Yeah. 69 miles an hour. It's pretty deadly. That's too fast. It's very dangerous. Especially on campus.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Correct. Is it time to do some WASH Media New Year's resolutions? Yes. Yeesh. As you guys know, this is our final episode of the year. I'm kind of bummed
Starting point is 00:33:42 that we're ending the year on a Bachelorette Patreon episode. I wish this was just the last one and we could just absolutely mob out. Could not agree more. I'm so sick of this damn show. Can we just tell people? Can we just tell people? If we didn't do an episode today, would people notice?
Starting point is 00:33:57 How many people would be like, hey, where's my episode? We're not doing Bachelor next year. Have we not already announced that? Not really. We started to, and I was like, no, hold on. And then I was like, that wouldn't have mattered anyway. The show's going downhill. The viewership's going downhill.
Starting point is 00:34:10 We think you guys are not as interested as you used to be. We're clearly not as interested as we used to be. The show stinks now. I can see us maybe doing like 15 minutes in Paradise when Paradise rolls around because that was actually good content. But between Clayton being the new Bachelor, who was just an absolute nothing burger and and just the general fatigue it's just not worth it i'm back 15 minutes in paradise and i'm in on clayton after last night i felt so bad for him we'll get to that too later today yeah we may we reserve the ride if like something like wild is happening
Starting point is 00:34:41 like well and by the way did you watch the preview for next season? Yeah. They basically told you exactly what's going to happen. Yeah, they even showed faces. They gave you the entire season in about two minutes. They're desperate. Yeah, they're desperate. And let me say this. Pretty juicy.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Next year, as you guys knew from earlier in this episode, we're starting off next year with a Worst Of episode. We're going to mix in some a little more, you know, off-the-map stuff. You won't believe what we have in store for you. We're going to do more dad pods. We're going to do more Worst Ofs. We're going to do more just you know, spur-of-the-moment kind of
Starting point is 00:35:16 stuff. It's going to be a little more fresh on Patreon than just doing Bachelor content every week. That kind of divides the entire listenership. So, more to look out for on Patreon. That's resolution number one. I guess it is i guess it is i guess it is a good segue into the seg do you have any resolutions for us david yeah i'm gonna up the snap game snack game in this office really it's gonna be fun ones or serious ones or a mix of the two what's going on here maybe just listen to dave he's gonna get better snacks in the office snacks I'm going to try to get more bovine
Starting point is 00:35:45 femurs around the office. More organs. More heart bites. Basically what I'm saying is we need to tap into our inner primals and honor our ancestors. Maybe go on a few more
Starting point is 00:36:00 successful simulated hunts. Together. Somebody's going to wear either Juggalo or Joker makeup in here for an episode next year. Oh, he's just bypassing your snacks. I wasn't done talking snacks. He just couldn't wait to get that one in. Drag a femur in here, Dave.
Starting point is 00:36:19 I can guarantee that somebody will be wearing Joker makeup in this office. Let us feast on it. I almost did it last year for Spooky. I might do Juggalo instead if y'all are cool with that. I'm a Juggalo, spilling lots of dough. I'll bring Faygo for everybody. Be tight.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Not a big Faygo guy myself. I know it's a Michigan company. I think. Those clowns were insane. The posse of them? That's the thing about them. Yeah, headquartered in Detroit, Michigan. I don't rep Faygo like I don't i don't rep fago like
Starting point is 00:36:46 i should i don't rep fago you're a bad michigander no i'm not i'm not it's just if you're gonna if you're gonna rep a pop from michigan it's got to be verner's it's got to be the verndog you know what i don't rep dr pepper that's the first time i've ever heard you say pop in just regular conversation i'm not gonna lie there's when like at Miami, a lot of kids in Southern Ohio and stuff do the soda thing. And it kind of made me into... I'm ambidextrous when it comes to talking about soda pop. Soda pop.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Yeah, I don't really care either way. It doesn't bother me when people say soda versus pop. I've kind of gotten... Since leaving Michigan, I feel like I actually gravitate towards soda more. I've become a soda boy. You're a stevia boy. I am.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Pretty good. I say soda, too. I probably said Coke as a young lad. Yeah, definitely. I don't get that. I'll never understand why people do that. It doesn't make much sense. I get it.
Starting point is 00:37:41 It's a Texas thing, a southern thing, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, it's not efficient. It's basically saying that you don't have a palate that can decipher the flavors of Coke, Pepsi. Are you saying Southerners have trash palates? I'm saying that's... No, I'm... Yeah, I am, actually.
Starting point is 00:37:57 I have a trash palate. It's like the Kleenex thing, you know? People refer to a thing by a brand brand name a frisbee over a disc there you go there are many examples of this actually let's keep going now your turn will no i'm good q-tip q-tip q-tip's another one dave the rapper yeah what is it what do you call that a swat cotton swab no no a swab on a stick cotton swab i don't know you can't stop the swab tip now david i know but there's like a heck i don't know let's see when you google it it just comes up with the rap got great seo
Starting point is 00:38:39 he's got great his damn it's a vibrant thing no you were right dave cotton swabs i thought cotton swabs were the little just cotton balls that's a cotton ball you guys could not get that out fast enough get off my fucking back cotton eye joe over here dave you were actually you were hitting some q-tip in the golf cart last week on the golf course i was i was on the garage beers playlist i don hate that. Anytime I can get a little tribe in my life, I try to do it. Why are you looking up Cotton Eye Joe right now? I was trying to remember the name of that remix, that band, or that Euro dance. You know, the Cotton Eye Joe remix that they play at like a hockey game.
Starting point is 00:39:22 We used to just stomp so hard at middle school dances to Cotton Eye Joe. Oh, man. Too bad I didn't go to your school. Did you ever square dance? Yeah, we did square dancing classes for a week. Square dancing was sick. A week a year we did square dancing. And then they switched at one point to ballroom dancing, which was a little too personal.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Like, we were like... Did you get a boner? No. Oh, there's no way you'd... No. I was very lucky in that I got paired up with a friend of mine who was... She was a friend of mine, and I had no attraction to her, so it was actually perfect. Yeah, but...
Starting point is 00:39:49 But you are in middle school, and boners happen in middle school. Yeah. Boners happen just... Yeah. No matter what. I mean... Honestly, putting kids in gym shorts and telling them to ballroom dance is a reckless move by the Harbor Springs High School.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Why did you put on the gym shorts? Because it was gym class. Oh. They took out a week from gym class class and they made us do square dancing. Can I tell you something weird about how I grew up? Maybe? We didn't change for gym. We did all the gym activities in our normal club.
Starting point is 00:40:16 In high school? Well, there wasn't gym in high school. There was PE credits. So I took, not to brag brag i took weightlifting senior year wow some of the kids just lifted in their jeans i didn't i was actually the only one to attempt to shower and um i felt really self-conscious so i never showered again we had the option to change we had like we went to the locker room and i had um in high school i had basketball practice before school sometime which was weird and my freshman they did I had basketball practice before school sometime, which was weird. And my freshman year, we had practice before school, so you had to shower.
Starting point is 00:40:50 They did that for our school, but I'm pretty sure that it was like – I mean, this would – I don't think this would fly anymore, but it was always the girls' basketball team was practicing before. It was like, can we maybe make the guys do it once in a while? Yeah. My stuff would get so crusty in my locker. Oh, dude. Because nobody wanted to bring it home and deal with it. So everybody would just have this crusty clothes. Man, high school locker rooms stink.
Starting point is 00:41:14 The football locker room, the smell of just old, wet grass caked into some cleats and then just B.O. from ninth graders, it's just a bad combination. On this same note, can I actually do a resolution? Not only do I vow that we will have a new office next year, I vow to keep that office not looking like a locker room. I was going to say, I actually made a comment earlier. I said we are great at producing trash here, but we're not great at disposing of it. We're pretty bad at it. Took out the trash
Starting point is 00:41:45 earlier. Thank you, David. Somebody needs to take that one out, Dylan. When's our lease up? April? April. I think we gotta just go mob at a new office. We can definitely look into it. This was a good starter office for us. I think it's time. I'll get that ball rolling in January. Let's buy a house
Starting point is 00:42:00 that is also zoned commercial that we could Airbnbbnb two years ago we could airbnb but also record of out of why don't we just get one of those apartments out by roy kaiser we've always talked about getting a crash pad yeah just for the just for the boys like 900 a month let's get one not doing that dude just keep our sticks there yeah it's a stick locker we could go we could do our uh two hole sunning there that That's true. Nice little balcony. What if someone hits an errant drive and it just gets stuck?
Starting point is 00:42:30 Like a whale's blowhole? It's not gonna happen. Uh-huh. It's not even near the course. It's the entrance. That'd be a big shake. That'd be very wayward. Really windy, bad shake. Perfect storm. We're getting a new office. I'm going to make sure of this.
Starting point is 00:42:47 Alright, man. New lodge. I looked places up and we were talking about it and there's some cool places. I can't wait for Lodge 2.0. It's got to be lodgy. I don't know if we can limit ourselves.
Starting point is 00:43:03 It's a tough market for people like us. To find lodges. What part of town do you guys want to live in? I don't care. I don't care about anything besides the interior of the office. I'm drawn to South Lamar. The only thing I don't want is a far north or far east. I don't want east side.
Starting point is 00:43:20 It would be cool to have a... We could probably find a good place on the east side, but it's just out of the way for everybody. We're not doing the east side. It's too far. East side... We could probably find a good place on the east side, but it's just out of the way for everybody. We're not doing the east side. It's too far. East side? We're on west. South.
Starting point is 00:43:30 We're going to mop. I want west sixth area. Not just... But that area between... I don't. Burnett and west sixth. Burnett? Burnett?
Starting point is 00:43:41 I want to stay away from west sixth. You know how big that area is you just described? I'll show you a very large... All right, let's see it. Burn it? I want to stay away from West 6th. You know how big that area is you just described? I'll show you a big area. All right, let's see it. Is it your two-hole? No. What's your problem? A lot of two-hole talk today.
Starting point is 00:43:54 What's your resolution, Will? I have another one. I just gave one, just to be clear. We're still talking about the one that I gave, but I do have another one. Okay. I'm going to dedicate myself, and I'm going to make this happen. Randy will be bringing a date to the next Christmas party that we have. Your resolution is for someone else to have a date.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Yep, and it's not going to be A-Bomb. A-Bomb might be there, but he's not going to be Randy's plus one this year. So Randy's been to two? Two now. Two now. Yes. Last year he came solo. Yeah, I'm going to get him strapped to the date for this next one.
Starting point is 00:44:26 As we know, if you go to a Christmas party with your date at Walsh Media, it's very likely that you're going to marry them at some point in your life. Really? I don't know. You're going to date them at least. Definitely didn't happen for me last year. That's facts. That's facts.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Very cool. No, we're going to get Randy. We're going to find him the perfect match. I hope so, man. He deserves love. What if he was quarantining right now with just an absolute baddie? Just a baddie. And they were just sucking face.
Starting point is 00:44:54 What if he is? Should we make an app that's just called like... COVID Connect? Yeah, and all it is is just people quarantining at the same time. And it's like, yeah, let's go squat up. You can use it to find somebody that you would maybe like to canoodle with. And all it is is just people quarantining at the same time. And it's like, yeah, let's go squat up. Quarantine. You can use it to find somebody that you would maybe like to canoodle with. Or maybe you just want to play video games with somebody. You want to run some fives.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Gross. We're trying to stop the spread. You type in which variant you have so you can match up with someone who has the same one. It's not that simple. It is. I was going to say we should call it quarantines, but I don't know if that plays. I don't know about that. Yeah, I don't think that works.
Starting point is 00:45:28 It's a genre. I have one that's a little bit more serious, if you guys are okay with that. Oh, cool. Hang on. Old man Dylan. Let me turn my mic up. Take your fun goggles off. We're going to bring in a female presence.
Starting point is 00:45:42 I think that's going to happen. Into WASH Media. I think that's going to happen. More of media. I think that's going to happen. More of a female presence, I should say. We do have somewhat. Yeah, we need some more. Some more. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:53 More than one. We need a ladies' touch around here. Yep. I think it's going to happen. Not like physical. You know what I'm saying? Do we have irons in the fire? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Irons are, yeah. They're warming up. We'll see. We'll see how that works in the immediate future. But overall, I think 2022 is going to be the year of the lady because we'd love to see Girlbosses winning. That's just facts. Ooh, I have another one that I just thought of.
Starting point is 00:46:15 We get that coffee maker working. So I actually was going to talk about that. I think we need to get a coffee system down within the office. We have a high dollar coffee maker. That thing sucks. It does suck. It can't pour without getting all over the floor. I think we should just get a Nespresso machine in here.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Nespresso? I think that has... Oh, a Nespresso. Yeah. That thing stinks. Is that a coffee... Is that a pod system? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:41 Which, for a podcast company, having a pod system for coffee just seems to make sense to me. We already have a problem taking out the trash. You recycle them, David. Can I throw the pods into a recycling bin and record it? You'll have to get back on Snapchat. Okay, I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Okay. We absolutely need to get more coffee going here. Our coffee situation is embarrassing. Well, what's cool about our coffee maker is that you make a pot of coffee, and then as you pour it into your cup, the same amount goes on the ground right underneath you. And that's just super convenient for everybody. Which feels like a design flaw.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Yeah, we might have to order a new pot. We bought this coffee maker at the same time that my sister and brother-in-law bought the same coffee maker and they have since replaced it with an espresso machine. Really? Yeah. They're out. It got good reviews, man. I don't know what happened. I'm just tired of drinking my own coffee. I need to drink
Starting point is 00:47:35 on the company dime every day. We can get absolutely loco with those pots, too. Let's get loco with it. We get loco with these pods. What do Nespresso machines run these days? I think you can get them from anywhere between, you know, as little as $80 up to probably $500. Let's get the $500 one. For a pod-based coffee?
Starting point is 00:47:56 Like, what's special about, like, what's the higher-end one do? I don't know. Like, I'm just curious, because I just figured they're all, all pod-based coffees are the same. I don't know, David. Sorry, I just... You can't grumble about this. You have to sell me on it. You know I'm anti-Nespresso.
Starting point is 00:48:13 One of them... They look very good. They're very aesthetically pleasing on this website. They're less expensive than you think they are. Where they get you is on the pods. Ah, the pods. Well, coffee's expensive, man. You know, the actual coffee.
Starting point is 00:48:28 So it makes sense. Okay, here's an espresso. Okay, this one looks very high-end and it's – I'm seeing $450. We don't need that one. We don't need that at all. Whatever we do, we're not getting the one that has the thing that steams your milk. So that's probably really opposite. But those things always break.
Starting point is 00:48:46 I'm sorry. Some of them are over five. Well, first and foremost, we don't put cream or milk in our coffee because we're men. Well, yeah. No cream. We'll save money on creams because we don't do that anymore. Two, cleaning the mechanism that steams that milk is annoying. So we're just not doing that.
Starting point is 00:48:59 We're not going to steam milk in here. Let's be honest. We just need a quick jolt of caffeine. If we had a kitchen area and hopefully wherever we move into does, then I would be more adventurous with what I do with the coffee. But for now, it's like sitting atop of a busy fridge. So it's like, you know what, just give me the coffee and I'll be good. We'll get a $200 one and it's going to suit us just fine. We spent more than that on the first one. Yeah, and we don't use it, David. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:49:31 I'm not trying to come at you like that. Why are you coming at me sideways? I'm taking it home if we replace it. I respect that. That one? Actually, listen, we like the one we have at home. I don't know what we'll do with it. Let Randy have it.
Starting point is 00:49:43 I think I found a winner right here. The Nespresso Virtuo Coffee and Espresso Maker. Huh. Yeah. I think so, folks. Look at the decisions we're making. Sheesh. Sheesh. Sheesh. What else we got? Do we have any more?
Starting point is 00:50:00 You can do a single shot of espresso all up to a 14-ounce coffee. Yeah, Dylan, I know. I literally own one, dude. Shut up, dude. God. more you can do a single shot of espresso all up to a 14 ounce coffee yeah dylan i know okay i literally own one dude shut up dude god i'm sorry what do you got dave um i'm trying you know i had some stuff i don't i don't know which direction we want to go. I would like to see more. We all wish that. Yeah, same. I want more on-mic contributions from Randy or Adam,
Starting point is 00:50:40 whoever's in the producer's chair. I want them to have a mic. I don't hate that. I want them because there's too many things that they could chime in on and not saying they need to be like a fourth on the show. I don't know what that was. I like the bit of having silent Randy, but I also think that there are several things that we question
Starting point is 00:50:57 throughout the podcast that Randy or Adam could answer because they are younger than us. It would be nice to kick it to Randy every now and then. Yeah. A little kicky. Yeah, I think a fifth mic is necessary at some point. But, yeah, he talks when we dish it to him, you know? He doesn't just chime in.
Starting point is 00:51:15 I like this, Dave. This is a good idea. People don't complain as much as I would because I've listened to pods, and they ask people off mic, and you can't hear them, and I'm like, I want to know what they're saying. So we thank you guys for not coming at our necks for that. But maybe we'll get Randy a mic.
Starting point is 00:51:31 And it won't even be Randy. Randy's not going to be producing that much next year. What's he going to be doing? Probably more game show content. I'm fine with that. You still haven't done the game show. Yeah, he hasn't invited me. You would have been so bad. Honestly, you saved face by not being part with that. You still haven't done the game show. Yeah, Dylan... Yeah, he hasn't invited me. You would have been so bad.
Starting point is 00:51:46 You would have gotten... Honestly, you saved face by not being part of that. I embarrassed myself. You would have been humiliated. Should we give Randy one game show for Patreon a month next year? I think it would make him so happy. Well, half of our soundboard is sound effects from that one show. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:52:02 May as well do something. I think we should just give him one Patreon episode a month. We just let him just have a game show with us. I'd be fine with that. Not only would it make him happy, but I think it would be pretty engaging stuff. And we get to see how Dylan just has no clue what any theme song
Starting point is 00:52:17 from any cartoon is. I listened to his first one, and I got the Doug one. I remember. You should watch that on your trip. Dude, I'm pretty excited about getting into some cartoons with the Fritz man. Not a big Cocoa Melon guy myself, and I know that that's like the wave. Lil' Bay likes Cocoa Melon a lot.
Starting point is 00:52:37 But I can't wait until he's at the age where I can kind of usher him into my era. Get him into a little, I don't know, maybe Hey Arnold. Maybe a little Doug. Maybe Doug Movie. Rugrats. Yeah, Rugrats is fine. Ren and Stimpy. I was going to say Ren and Stimpy.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Not a big Ren and Stimpy guy. I'm more of a Rocko's Modern Life guy. Stimpy. You idiot. You idiot. That's not bad. I know. That's not bad.
Starting point is 00:53:05 They show you that on the spacecraft as you approach Earth? That's so rude, man. I liked... Eureka's Castle. You're the only person who I can talk about Eureka's Castle with and not feel like I'm talking to a wall. Is that why you hired me at Grand X? You're like, dude, this guy's got Eureka's castle vibes.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Eureka had herself a castle. She was low-key bad. Was she a baddie? She was a puppet baddie. Who's the hottest puppet? She was a puppet baddie, he said. It's Eureka because she's got all the power. It's her castle.
Starting point is 00:53:41 I don't know. Is Miss Piggy? She's thick with that cute ass. Okay. Eureka had like the different color hair and stuff. Like she was bad. She got the horns coming out of her head too.
Starting point is 00:53:53 Totally forgot about that. Super H. I'm actually amazed that I even liked that. Do we have any more resolutions? We need to have more background noise when people aren't recording in this office, whether that's a television set that's on or just a playlist that's running. What if we have cans flying into...
Starting point is 00:54:12 I don't know, trash cans. Or like... Oh, you're saying... Croy cans flying... Like from a producer that's... Yeah. We could probably make that happen. I'm sure Micah wouldn't mind paying us a visit.
Starting point is 00:54:24 I think we need to drink more as a group. I'm going to dedicate myself to drinking more with you guys. Okay. Like in the office. I love the sound of that. There have been some rumors of some happy hours going on. When do those kick off? We're up in our happy hour.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Yeah, one of the issues with our first happy hour is that I don't even think I'm going to be there. I think I'm going to be out of town. Wow. I'm not happy about it. You're cool, dude. I'm not happy about it. Trust me. Unhappy hour for unhappy hour for you yeah i mean maybe can you guys just remote me in can i facetime with y'all because like when i saw that that conflicted i was devastated that's fine i'm sure uh our good friends over at nomad could help us out with some uh
Starting point is 00:54:59 some charging cables that's a great point made out of Kevlar and shit. It's a really good, it's a really good sponsor. I use it every day. This isn't even a read. I don't even have my phone in the bedroom anymore. I know you guys already know that because I'm just a bad boy. Are you trying to tap into your inner primal? I just, I'm trying to reduce my screen time. And the most obvious way to do it is by not getting on Twitter every morning for 30 minutes when I wake up and by not scrolling Instagram endlessly before I go to bed. So somebody I live with told me something yesterday that blew my mind. She's like, I'm going to go watch.
Starting point is 00:55:37 She's rewatching Succession. She's like, I'm going to go watch Succession. So I walked in there to brush my teeth. Lights are out, and I can just see her phone lit up the tv is not on i was like i thought you're watching succession she said watching it on my phone i was like you know we have a tv right here she said i'm watching on my phone so i don't scroll instagram and i was just like wow um okay and then she's like what and i don't want to wake up roads i'm like oh i don't think that's
Starting point is 00:56:06 gonna happen like he's he doesn't ever wake up from our tv so i was just like that's just put on the tv partially because i wanted to i wanted to get in bed and kind of just catch the last few minutes of each episode but i'm watching on her phone i get it yeah i do get that that's not a bad idea i find myself You're still screen time. Just because you're watching a show on the screen doesn't mean – I will sometimes pause a show because I want to like check – I get a quick check of TL. Then I'll resume after a few minutes.
Starting point is 00:56:36 I don't hate commercials during TV shows sometimes because I can just go check in. Like during The Bachelor, I usually try to like start The Bachelor about an hour late so I can usually skip commercials. But sometimes when I... We used to live tweet it more, obviously. We don't really do that anymore. But that was a good time to start doing the tweets.
Starting point is 00:56:54 I didn't hate the commercial breaks. I don't know. Can we just do this weekend in fun? This Christmas in fun? Ooh. Yeah, we can. Presented by Bird Dogs. Can you imagine not wearing Bird Dogs on Christmas morning when you're just absolutely ripping through gifts? I might have to pull out my Bird Dog shorts since it's going to be like 84.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Well, they're my Christmas Eve pants. They're my Christmas morning pants. They're also my Christmas night pants. There's a very good chance that I wear them on my birthday. Really? To dinner. You've already planned this out. At a also my Christmas night pants. There's a very good chance that I wear them on my birthday. Really? To dinner. You've already planned this out. At a high-end steakhouse.
Starting point is 00:57:29 No, they just look so good on me. But I will be invited to. We'll see. I will. We're either doing an eight-person dinner or we're doing a two-person dinner. No in between. Okay. And I will be wearing my bird dogs because they're insanely comfortable.
Starting point is 00:57:43 They got built-in underwear. I sometimes forget that the underwear got built-in underwear. I sometimes forget that the underwear is built-in and I'll put it on and be like, Oh, my God. These things surpass my expectations at all times. You can still, if you want to, you can wear some boxer briefs under there. You could if you wanted to. And it's still pretty comfortable. You could.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Everything bird dogs makes, they're perfect for doing literally anything. Beach, brunch, golf pool, working out, opening presents on Christmas morning. They stole Lululemon's designer and they're just doing it better now. It's amazing to me the fact they kidnapped this person, right? And you would think that he'd be all disgruntled and
Starting point is 00:58:16 upset about the situation, probably wouldn't put out good products anymore. He's still just he or she just putting work in. I heard he's working through Christmas. It's still just, he or she, just putting work, you know, putting work in. I heard he's working through Christmas. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:28 It's not at all like when the white supremacist biker gang made Jesse cook meth for them and not Walt. Remember he was doing, he was chained up. It's not like that at all.
Starting point is 00:58:38 It's the opposite. Right. It's just everybody's having fun making pants. Yeah. That's right. Thank you for clarifying that, Dave. Go to birddogs.com and enter promo code STEAM
Starting point is 00:58:48 and they'll throw you a free Bird Dogs Whistle Tip football. It's like one of those Nerf Vortex footballs that whistle when you throw them. The footballs you can literally throw a mile. Talking about those ones. It's a must-have for football season. That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs Whistle Tip football with your pair of Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off i promise you dylan what are you doing this christmas and
Starting point is 00:59:09 new years and fun wow well thank you for asking um i will have the little guy for uh a while his uh his mother got the the covid so he's with me for a little bit if she doesn't mind me sharing they're not a big deal everybody has it right now so he's with me for a little bit. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing that. Not a big deal. Everybody has it right now. So he's with me for like 10 days in a row. We're not COVID shaming anymore. No, of course not. First Christmas at the new house, man. We're hustling to get the house set up as fast as we can because we'll have a few guests over for Christmas. And I'm very, very excited to have our first Christmas in the new home.
Starting point is 00:59:40 The tree's going up tonight. Very excited about that. You're going to let us rate it? Yeah, sure. You're giving out some cocky ratings lately. 9.4 on your TO. Did you see the tree, Will? Did you see the tree? It was really good. Thank you. It was really good.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Fantastic tree. The presence underneath? It was really good. I honestly think it's the best one that's ever been submitted to you. It's up there. Ross made a good point. If the ceilings were vaulted, it would have been up there. It's not the tree's fault. It's not the tree's fault. You're right.
Starting point is 01:00:09 It was real, too. Sorry, this person can't just go vault their ceilings. Here's a question for you guys. What do you guys do for Christmas Eve dinner, and what do you do for Christmas dinner? Depends on which side of the family. Typically, on Christmas Day, uh depends on which side of the family we typically we've on christmas day we do like a more kind of similar to a thanksgiving cup dinner uh we're doing lasagna this year we're doing that for christmas eve okay i'm glad you said that we are also doing lasagna is that a thing yeah
Starting point is 01:00:40 kind of we do we do yeah my mom doesn't she's old school catholic she's not going to eat meat uh christmas eve i'm gonna get lit on eggnog on christmas eve lit i believe we've done like a fish soup before really yeah that's a running joke my buddy's dad always makes fish soup around christmas and we always make fun of it because it's just fish soup. Fish? What is fish soup? I am not a fan. Have you ever had Cullen Skink? What'd you call me? Cullen Skink. That's not a real thing.
Starting point is 01:01:12 It is. Is he the other guy on Weekend Update? That's so stupid. What is Cullen Skink? It's a creamy soup with smoked fish in it. I'd never had it before, and then when we went to the UK over Christmas, one of my friends was like, oh, you have to try it. And I tried it and I fell in love.
Starting point is 01:01:30 But it's so hard to find flaky smoked white fish around here. I am inherently, I am averse to fish soup. I get it. Now, shrimp in a soup is different. I don't like shrimp. I'll do a lobster bisque all day. I guess lobster's not a fish. It is a sea creature, though.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Crustacean? I'll put it in the ballpark. It's in the fam. Is it? I don't know. It's a shellfish. Do you mess with clam chowder, though? Oh, heavy.
Starting point is 01:01:57 I love clam chowder. I've had it. I don't go out of my way, mainly because I live in central Texas. The best clam chowder I've ever had? I've never been to New England, granted, is Pike Place Market in Seattle. It was so, so amazing. That makes sense. You can get it at Hooters.
Starting point is 01:02:12 I bet it's awesome. I'm sure it's probably pretty good. What are you doing for New Year's? For the first time since the little guy's been a part of my life, I'm childless. I don't have him that night.
Starting point is 01:02:27 So I'm open to doing something. Bay and I might have some people over to the crib and kind of get loose there. We're kind of aged to host at this point. So we might do that. I don't know. I'm up for pretty much anything at this point, but I don't have any plans yet. So, I mean, if you want to invite me to something, like, I'm listening. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:48 Yeah. Maybe. That's pretty much it. I don't have a whole lot, man. We're still in, like, put house together mode over here. What's that boy getting into? Hitting the road this afternoon. Oh.
Starting point is 01:03:01 I will be, I might be recording a podcast tomorrow with a couple lads. I don't want to spoil it. We'll see what happens. Cheating on us. Yeah, what the fuck, dude? I am. I'm growing the show, hashtag.
Starting point is 01:03:16 Growing the show. All right. You put the hashtag before. Is that how that works? Coffee dad doesn't do that. It's my check. They don't know know me it's always kind of tough this time of year for him it is yeah unfortunately and then man i'm it's it's all gonna culminate on christmas eve as it often does for most people uh we're gonna do some lasagna pretty excited
Starting point is 01:03:41 about that i've got my son's first Christmas, as you do as well, Will. And that's very exciting. I mean, that's... I don't even... Although he's not going to care. He's not going to care, but there's going to be a lot of people there who do care.
Starting point is 01:03:57 There's going to be a lot of photos taken. High, high-gram capabilities. Oh, yeah. Y'all are on gram watch. The whole world. I hope he likes what I get him. I hope he likes the wrapped presents that Santa brings him. I'll just say that.
Starting point is 01:04:15 And then Saturday, I got nothing, man. Maybe you're going to sneak around a golf inn. I don't even know when I'm coming back. We're off next week. Maybe I'll just stay up there all week. I don't know. It's bad boy shit. Me just staying in my childhood bedroom, just listening to Rancid.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Please do. Punching drywall. Please go live. I wish my room was still intact, like rage posters. Yeah. My room is a shell of my childhood room at this point. It's not even the same room. That's probably for the best. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure I'll be driving Britney Spears poster on the wall still. You had a Spears poster? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:52 It was mainly just the horniness coming out. Cole Campbell is on an absolute heater right now. Speaking of the horniness coming out. You just won't stop posting. Do you even care what I'm doing for this holiday season, Dylan? No, he does. No. Like you guys, I'm eating lasagna for Christmas.
Starting point is 01:05:08 Send me a picture. Let's do a lasagna picture swap. Yeah, let's all take pictures of our lasagna. We'll put them on the TL, and we'll have people rate our lasagnas. Ooh, my dad's lasagna is pretty good. I'm starting to do a new thing every major holiday. You ready for this? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:25 Actually, I started it a couple years ago, but I've kind of been trying to do it without making it a tradition, but now it's tradition. Your boy's just taking long-ass walks the morning of a holiday. Christmas morning, catch me just logging miles. Dude, you're tapping into your inner primal. Exactly. Let's link up on a walk sometime.
Starting point is 01:05:41 It might just be a personal me and Rosie thing, dude. He walks alone. I guess Stella and I will just go F off the other direction. I was on Fine Friends the other day and I saw you taking a walk with Stella. Did you? I was like, hey, where's my invite? I was like, why is Dylan in this part of the neighborhood? And I was like, oh wait,
Starting point is 01:05:58 he's walking right now. She got her first walk in the new hood. She's a big fan. I saw it, man. That's really cool. And then after Christmas, barring any hiccups here, I'm going to walk in the new hood yeah i saw a big fan i saw man that's really cool thanks and then uh after christmas barring any uh any any hiccups here i'm going to san diego for a few days just gonna max chill southern cow we're going to a resort i'm just gonna sit there and we're not gonna move uh i would recommend moving to the taco joint that chad recommended uh speaking of we still don't know what his favorite taco from said
Starting point is 01:06:26 recommended taco joint is, but we're waiting, hashtag. Sally was like, what are we near? What parts of San Diego are we near? And I was like, oh, we're pretty near Encinitas. I was like, we can go there. There's a taco joint that hashtag Chad just loves so much that he can't name the taco that he loves. Escondido. Was it Escondido?
Starting point is 01:06:42 It wasn't Encinitas? Escondido. Whatever. I don't give a fuck. I'm the bad boy of San Diego. Escondido. Was it Escondido? It wasn't Encinitas? Escondido. Okay. Whatever. I don't give a fuck. I'm the bad boy of San Diego. Sorry, Parks. Sorry, Parks. My bad.
Starting point is 01:06:51 That's the first F-bomb I've given this episode. You're the bad boy of San Diego. Yeah. When I walk in, people crowd surf me. Okay. New Year's Eve, no plans.
Starting point is 01:07:00 We'll see. I've got no New Year's plans either. I think we'll probably just put a little fun party hat on the baby. There's been one or two couples that I've communicated with, and they have expressed that they also have no plans and that maybe we should get together. And I think both of these couples fit the mold of people we would be looking for.
Starting point is 01:07:18 Are you trying to mob and link? Maybe. Maybe. And then, like I said, I'm closing out the Christmas break with a little birthday celebration. Hopefully you guys get invited. We'll see though. We'll see.
Starting point is 01:07:29 And that's it. That's all she wrote. Man. I don't want to hit, I don't want to press the stop recording button on the year. 2021 is a major year for watch media. It was a major year. 2022 is going to be even bigger though,
Starting point is 01:07:40 Doug. That's facts. Big time. That's facts. More on that to come next year. Should we get out of here? Yep. Have a safe and happy new year.
Starting point is 01:07:51 Love you. Bye. Bye-bye.

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