Circling Back - Welcome To The Beast Feast
Episode Date: March 14, 2022Welcome to the Beast Feast, baby. An unhinged car salesman is getting jail time, Pete Davidson is getting sent to space by Jeff Pesos, a protest outside a dental office, and recapping our Weekends in ...Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (20:20) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (35:50) Monday Motivation from Lubbock (50:00) Skete Going To Space (59:09) Western Dental Protest Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (download the app and use WASHED) Hawthorne: www.hawthorne.co (CIRCLINGBACK for 10% off) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge presented
by busy hard seltzer the only hard seltzer with vitamin c and superfruit acerola in it my name is will defriest my left david rough
oh dude my brackets already busted they haven't even played a game yet
oh actually hold on this i'm looking at last year's. My bracket last year's busted. Son of a freaking gun.
That scared me for a second, though.
I would hate to be busted before the thing even started.
It'd be a bummer to miss all the games.
Oh, man, because I'm taking that entire four-day or whatever day stretch it is.
I'm just doing nothing but watching the big games.
Just the big games. I got torpedoed.
Dylan had some breakfast tacos delivered,
and it just absolutely spiraled the podcast.
That really?
Can we just start over?
Yeah.
So Parks is here.
Spring break.
Is he just chilling here until his flight to Panama City Beach?
SB22.
They're actually doing Gulf Shores. He and about five of his buddies are gonna go mob at gulf shores really
yeah they got they got keggers lined up it's gonna be sick he was asking me if i could help him work
the screwdriver to put together he bought this tube in this like uh funnel and he asked if i
could help him like put it together is he making a potato gun i think so is he siphoning gas out of
people's tanks what is he doing no i think i think they're shotgunning grape juice they've been calling
themselves the grape juice boys oh you know what gas siphoning is probably hot right now yeah i
know so watch your shit i think cars are siphon proof these days though oh man maybe your car
what kind of car do you have i don't remember remember. Is there a newer one though that allows for that?
It was made in the last 10 years.
Okay.
So what did that set you back?
I don't remember, man.
Mr. Ooh, my gas can't be siphoned.
You're putting off big can't be siphoned vibes right now.
I'm pretty sure your gas tank can't be siphoned.
You don't know shit about my gas tank.
Dude, siphon's hot though. I would s siphon have you ever had to siphon i've never had to siphon
i'm always scared about like when you start to suck on the tube if you suck too long the gas
will just go straight to your mouth yeah it will yeah and then you can then you can spit it out you
can spray it out and do like the thing but. But it kills any virus or bacteria in your mouth.
So it's kind of like a...
Listen, kids, don't do that at home.
We're not medical professionals here.
If I was a Marvel character, I'd be called Siphon.
Really? What would you do? Just steal gas?
You just have a stream of revenue coming on the black market.
What if Parkin and his friends were just out siphoning gas out of lawnmowers and selling them?
I'd go suck the gas out of whatever vehicle was trying to attack me, and then I'd set it on fire using its own gas.
It just feels like a fuck.
You just got siphoned.
We'll just run it off.
You got siphoned.
It's a very obscure weapon to have in your arsenal.
This dude just takes your gas and then burns you with it you gotta have the right mouth gotta have the
right throat game too that's fact i don't think you have to put it down your throat to siphon
no but if you can if you can human decant the gasoline and then store more inside of your system
it further helps you fighting the bad guys can you butt siphon if you want to you could
what if that's how you like you butt siphon if you want to you could what if that's how you like you
butt siphon happy monday everybody your boys are like dude that's not how you do it man you gotta
yeah don't put it there you gotta put it don't put it there use your mouth you idiot
don't just on his back with his feet over
this is weird this is weird uh you can intro me now i got something i want to say
we done with the siphon man did it get cold in here because i'm feeling shivery oh wait that's
just dylan damn that's sick about to add a new shivery to the mix here in uh seven weeks anyway
you got some news yeah are you pregnant i'm getting married oh yeah the way you said that
yeah you got it you got to work on your phrasing there it would be weird if it was seven she told
me she's not taking your last name the number of shiveries will go up worldwide from
five to six is she taking your last name yeah that's surprising i thought you were gonna take
her last name i wouldn't take your shit my last name is so dope if you have a chance to get four
four e's in your last name you absolutely what's
her middle name if you don't mind me asking uh her middle name right now is her maiden name which
is bird b-y-r-d oh like marty was she a part of the ozark clan i don't understand the reference
has she ever you know just said start has she ever started a casino in a boat on the water in
the ozarks not that I'm aware of.
Okay.
So she's not related to Wendy?
But there are some things about her that I'm probably still learning.
So maybe.
What I was going to say.
I've always said that you need to figure out if you're dating a drug runner before you marry them.
What if it's Michael Keaton?
Wasn't he the Birdman?
He was the Birdman.
I never saw that.
I heard it was very good.
You never saw it? Everybody said it was the birdman i never saw that it was very you never saw everybody said
it was awesome it was bad i'm bad about that i mean this is this is the coldest take of all time
regarding that movie but it's very difficult to take your mind off the fact that they haven't cut
the camera yet the entire movie yeah knowing that that would be a distraction it you you because all
you do is just wait for the moments where you're like, okay, they probably cut it there and then went.
It's just so distracting the entire time.
Did you have something you wanted to say?
I did, actually.
Growing up, I always wanted to work in the movies
and be the intern or whatever.
You wanted to be the clapper guy.
Cut or action.
Didn't they call you that in high school?
Clappy Gilmore
for being as low energy
as we were before we hit record
we're kind of coming out of the gates hot
what I was going to say though
I've reached a point in my graying
I'm pointing at my hair right now
for those who can't see
where when I post I get comments about
salt and pepper or whatever
and I sort of love it
I'm starting to really love it this is a little jealous also a way for me to
shamelessly plug my my instagram at d chivalry uh bay and i just looking just low-key just kind
of hot on that on that last post i did just just check it out in your in your spare time not a big
deal for ease what else non-consecutive what else you got um we go back
to siphoning that was kind of fun will to freeze is the safe safe safe just sucking gas just weird
a weird one why boy that's right this dude just sucks gas you're rock you're at rock bottom if you're
siphoning gas my dad when he was a kid my dad thought he was playing gas station and he decided
to fill my grandma's car up with the water the gas tank you're not supposed to do that
really yeah yeah like with the hose yeah with the hose yeah you're not supposed to do that yeah
that's like that's very destructive but also mega cute at the same time.
Yeah, it's hard to get mad at your kid when you're like,
wow, I mean, they were being very, you know,
they were being pretty, whatever.
My brain is not fucking working.
What if what Will isn't telling us is his dad was like 23 at the time?
Yeah.
Just Tom Green is his parent's car.
What is it, sugar in the gas tank, is that what they say?
It kills your engine?
Yeah.
What does it do to it?
It just, you know, sugar is a silent killer.
Makes it all sweet.
Yeah.
Gas tank's like, ooh, I like this.
Ooh, oh no.
That's too much sugar.
Too much glucose.
It tastes so sweet, though. Gives that car diabetes. Too much glucose. It tastes so sweet, though.
Gives that car diabetes.
Really?
Yeah.
Sometimes their wheels fall off after.
Diabetes.
Remember that dude?
No.
What's his name?
Is he a meme?
Who's the diabetes guy?
Oh, the old guy.
Yeah, with the-
Wilford Brimley?
Yeah, thank you.
Is that him?
Dave comes through.
Yeah, that's him.
Why do I know that?
I genuinely don't know do i know that i genuinely
don't know why he's been memed pretty pretty heavily throughout his uh i think he's dead now
okay but anyway his old diabetes commercials were iconic i'll say i'll say it rest in peace he would
say diabetes and it was funny diabetes isn't funny very serious it is yeah yeah it's not funny but you're trying to
make a joke out of it what other diseases are funny to you yeah rank your funniest diseases
dylan the indisputable ranking of diseases i'm not gonna i'm not gonna do that remember when
bush ranked races at grand x i do remember that that article is still online have you seen him
recently um i saw him at our meetup which he didn't know was a meetup he just showed up to I do remember that. That article is still online. Have you seen him recently?
I saw him at our meetup, which he didn't know was a meetup.
He just showed up to hang out with us.
He's like, oh, why are all your fans here?
It was funny.
Can I read you guys the power ranking of the races per him?
Yeah.
Number 10, the Pinewood Derby.
Love that. Number nine, the Tour de France.
Tour de France. Number eight, marathons. Number nine, the Tour de France. Tour de France. Number eight,
Marathons. Number seven, the
Iditarod. The Iditarod should be further up.
That's pretty good. Number six, the
Daytona 500. He paginated
this so we could get more. Number five,
the Kentucky Derby. My old Kentucky
home. Number four,
the Ookie Kooky, a.k.a. the
Limp Bizkit. I don't know what that means, but I'm not going to
read further. You want me to explain? No, I i'm good aka the what limp biscuit different adjective number three
presidential races that's a good one yeah number four and this makes sense being on tfm is keg
races uh-huh and then the number one any guesses white people just says whites
and then he he got a lot of stock images of white people being white and so i hope
that that was received well by everyone who read it the top comment is from stock with frock says
holy shit boosh you're my spirit animal frock again uh well frock a frocket a frocket is a
front pocket a front pocket but weren't, righty gentlemen, it was originally called frocket tease.
That's true.
Which I think is a much better name.
Probably shouldn't have pivoted.
It was an adjacent pivot.
Frocket tease.
You probably don't even have any.
You won't believe.
You're so NF.
You won't believe my top five races.
That's for another pod.
I like how we just did marathons.
You could have done Boston Marathon.
There's a number of marathons that are up next.
Don't say we.
I don't want my name attached to that article in any way.
You literally said you brought it up.
You asked to have it read.
I remember you walked out of your office after he sent it to you to edit.
And you said, that right there, that's how you go viral today.
And then you slapped the go viral today sign and said, great work, Boosh.
I don't think that happened.
You threw him a 30-pack.
You put whites, number one.
Whites.
Come on, dog.
I don't support that.
Let's get some official business out of the way.
Tomorrow's Tuesday.
We've done two Worst Of episodes in a row, which means we skipped Dad Pod last week, circling Dad.
Send us your questions.
We will be answering a bunch of listener questions tomorrow.
It's just about Dad stuff.
We're just new to this.
Dylan's a little older to this.
You've got, like, what, seven years under your belt?
All this gray hair, man.
Yeah.
Stressed at being a dad.
Yeah.
The P-Man's here.
P-Man's here.
You should get him on the mic.
Spring break.
No, he's leaving.
No, we've got some risque content coming up.
If y'all want to submit your questions, go to washmedia.com slash submit.
Again, washmedia.com slash submit.
Send your question in.
We'll be doing some other segments as well.
Also, voicemails 888-618-4422.
Get in.
Get out.
Be tactical.
We got some new reviews.
Can I read you guys some reviews?
We had a one star last week.
We got another one star this week. What the i feel like we're encouraging yeah maybe you stop
reading the one star no well greg six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine seven nine said
an accident a bing bong i think it was an accident yeah thank you to greg correct it i don't know
hey greg six nine six nine six nine six nine seven nine please correct it can i get
you what if it was greg from uh succession no no what's the company the the batch well you think
it was uh what was his name like greg blotto or something greg grippo yeah that guy's no no the
batch app the batch app oh the guy we went out with dude greg Greg's a man. Dylan, this one says, this is from Brandon.
It said, Dylan is soft.
It says, Dylan is the new sock.
Five stars, though, would recommend to a million of my closest friends.
Felwills Burner.
What's his name?
Felwills Burner.
Brandon?
Brandon.
Are you a sock?
Hey, man, how about you drop a pin, and then I'll come show you how soft I really am.
You mean a pin?
Bitch boy. We also have another thing that you need to answer to. Drop a pin. i really am you mean a pin bitch boy we also have
another thing that you need to drop a pin like your location what do you think i said pen didn't
you used to drop your pin in like middle school so you could see whale tails like oh can you pick
that up for me dude i dropped a pin i dropped a hat or something at hooters one time when i was
like 13 and it was it was an absolute i was a hero yeah my boy's like damn i can can't you did that it didn't you not really drop it you kind of rolled it down your arm like
fred astaire yeah dylan do you does the do the does the frayed colored colored beads for cheating
mean anything to you yeah because we have a question that says you got to think dylan wasn't
involved in the colored beads for cheating ring in his high school hashtag dog vision that's so rude is that five stars though yeah what does
that mean okay um i was i was telling a story about how um there was an elaborate cheating
scheme at my high school where people would make bracelets that were color-coded
like a blue would be the letter a oh that's good's good. Yeah. And of course, being colorblind, they are assuming I wasn't part of that.
And I wasn't.
I didn't cheat that heavily.
I just kind of peeped at papers.
You dabbled in cheating, but you were never a full-blown cheater.
I would look at your Scantron from across the way.
That's cheating.
Right.
But I wouldn't go as far as to create something.
You were like, I draw the line when you start bringing in jewelry.
Let's put it this way.
If you put C for number 12, I was putting C for number 12.
That's all I'm saying.
Yeah, that's just textbook cheating.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's just how you cheat.
And they would do A and B scantrons.
I would look two rows over because that was another.
Like steal signs from second base, not steal signs from a camera in the outfield.
And then relay that to the batter via
banging on a trash can i would never that's like egregious that's where you i always relate it to
the batter by strumming on a streetlight that's scummy behavior i would never do that
not my rangers our final review is from taibo says only podcasts that i don't skip ad reads
these fellas could sell ketchup to an eskimo. Push that P player.
Tybo?
I'm sorry.
Remember Tybo?
Maybe it's Tybo.
Remember Tybo?
I do.
What was the guy's name?
Billy Blanks.
Billy Blanks.
Yeah.
That's what they used to call you.
Why does this guy assume that Eskimos don't want ketchup in the first place?
That I don't know.
Eskimos probably love ketchup.
I think he meant ice cubes.
It's on the ice cubes.
I don't know.
I don't know if autocorrect could change ice cubes to ketchup.
Because you're not going to sell ice cubes to an Eskimo
because they have plenty of it already.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
Straight up, we're still using the word?
Is that a word that...
I don't know.
Eskimo?
Yeah, I don't know if there's an indigenous name
that would make more sense.
Inuit?
Is that an offensive term?
I don't know. I don't know if it is or not. If it would make more sense. Inuit? Is that an offensive term? I don't know.
I don't know if it is or not.
If it is, we're obviously not using it in that way.
Well, Will just said it sounded very intelligent.
The Eskimo life is tough, man.
It's just so cold.
Yeah, the Inuits are a member of an indigenous people of northern Canada
and parts of Greenland and Alaska.
They just like being cold?
It's hard living.
Major shouts.
It is hard living.
Just whale blubber.
We also have some major news.
Igloos.
A week from today.
A week from today.
You ever been in an igloo before?
A week from today.
A week from today.
What happens?
Bit Madness starts.
You guys familiar with Bit Madness?
We take all of our bits and we do a bracket.
You follow me?
I'm actually not doing it this year.
I'm boycotting.
Dylan should boycott after last year.
El Glizadente over here.
The man himself. That was the worst. Dude, should boycott after last year. Uncle is a dente over here.
That was the worst.
Dude, J-Bone saw you.
J-Bone!
No, he didn't see me.
He saw a vehicle.
The best bit we have is not even on the bracket.
That's a trash bit.
Not that one.
The bracket has already been made for Bit Madness.
If y'all want to fill out a bracket and submit it,
head over to the Discord channel and click the link in the announcements channel and submit your bracket if you try to do this and the page is not working
clear your cash and try again clear you gotta clear the cash clear the cash yeah i kept clearing
my cash because i didn't see a guy who eats too much chips and salsa before the meal on there
it's pretty pretty glaring omission fucked up one of the best bits we've ever done
you just eat so much chips and salsa.
Big chips and salsa guy.
Like by the time the meal gets there, he's like, can you box this up?
I heard Cosmo bartender is going to make a run.
People are saying.
It's not even a Cinderella run anymore.
He's just, he's up there.
He's a power player.
Yeah.
He's not trying to shock anybody.
Someone's going to meet him.
You understand me? He's not trying to shock anybody. Someone's going to meet him.
You understand me?
Multiple people have posted about going to the Cosmo over the last week,
and they're like, I couldn't find him.
He's not hard to find.
No.
The way we've described him, you could probably picture him exactly as he is in real life.
Can we talk about our friends over at Fitbod real quick?
Wait, hold on.
Will, he owns two Firehouse Subs.
What don't you understand? Two of them. Own two Firehouse Subs. Not sure about you guys, at Fitbod real quick. Wait, hold on. Will, he owns two firehouse subs. What don't you understand?
Two of them.
Two firehouse subs.
Not sure about you guys, but fitness is a journey.
Fitness is an absolute journey.
You might want some quick fixes where you can get in shape.
Maybe you got a wedding coming up.
Maybe you're going to Vegas for a pool party and you want to look trim.
We're not talking about that.
We're talking about long-term fitness goals.
We're talking about aging like a fine wine.
You want to be a hotter version of yourself like 10 years from now, right?
I think so.
Well, we'd all love to lift our great grandkids over our heads
and kick soccer balls without blowing our backs out.
Your long-term goals start with short-term results,
and FitBod plans your best course to becoming a badass grandparent someday.
Guess what?
We've already made strides to do this by using the FitBod app.
New copy alert.
Yeah.
For yourself.
No matter your goals or experience level, FitBod finds your next best workout.
No six weeks plans, no shortcuts, no bullshit.
FitBod's innovative algorithm learns your goals and experience level and then crafts
a personalized training regimen to you.
Dylan, you've been using this.
We've all been using this,
but you're the one, you're in better shape than me.
So people might actually want to, you know,
use it more after seeing you.
What that back do.
Thanks for noticing, Will.
Yes, I have been using FitBot for a while now.
And not so long ago, what I did,
as you mentioned, like wedding season for me is coming up.
I'm getting married in under two months.
So I need to lean up a little bit.
I think everyone's been noticing that.
Watch sticking.
I'm getting a little thick.
And so I just changed my goals a little bit in the app.
And it tailors exercises for exactly what I'm trying to accomplish, David.
Lean up.
I want to get down to like 192.
And it does all this without blowing your back out.
Right.
192.
You do have those back problems.
Target weight, David.
The path to looking your best and being your best looks different for everyone.
And FitBot creates a program based on unique goals, experience, and equipment, just like Dylan said.
Their algorithm uses data and analytics to build on your last workout and maximize results.
So whether you exercise three days a week or twice a day, every workout is scientifically proven to be better than the last.
They even introduced a brand new app interface that's super easy to use. I mean, is this a new logo alert from them too?
Are these guys just firing? You know, you're doing well when you get to rebrand. That means you're
like, oh, we're just, we're cruising right now. It is a new logo actually. It's very aesthetically
pleasing. Personalized training, as we all know, can be tough on a budget, but FitBot is only $12.99
a month or $79.99 a year. So build your fitness habits and become a better version of yourself with fit
bod get 25 off your subscription or try out the app for free when you sign up now at fit bod.me
slash steam that's 25 off of your subscription at fit bod.me slash steam dylan what did you get into this weekend oh thank you for asking will um friday
what the heck did i do friday wow dude dylan instead of going chronologically since that
seems so what's the best thing you did this weekend oh saturday was a mega day um Went to a one-year-old's birthday party.
Your little nephew.
My homie.
Drew and Lily's son.
Gang gang.
Yeah, turned one.
It was kind of a vibe.
Didn't see Dave there.
I was there.
Saw Will there.
Do you want to tell the people what I did?
Drink some rosé.
Ate some Chick-fil-A nugs.
Yeah, but who ate the most Chick-fil-A nugs?
Will says he set a world record in reality he ate 12 nuggets which feels like kind of a normal number of nuggets to eat when
there's a platter of them in front of you i think i touched 40 you didn't hit i think i touched 40
didn't eat i think i touched 40 you didn't there was a whole portion of the big party tray that
was just dedicated to me and that thing was cleaned off after at one point i just started sneezing on him so i could have him all to myself
that's so rude and selfish and disgusting what was your dip of choice
not you dylan talking to the nugget that's why i'm looking at the nugget boy
i went chick-fil-a sauce that's a good you That's a good choice. You know I had to do it.
That's the one.
You know I had to do it.
They've got good sauces, but.
Yeah, so the party was lit, man.
I had a great time.
And then we went to a little place you may or may not have heard of called Matt's El Rancho for dinner.
I didn't sit at the table with Will because he was sitting with like 40 people, including 18 babies.
It was a scene.
What's the wait for that big of a group looking like?
You know what Will did for me?
Because he's a good friend.
We were departing for Matt's rancho, and I knew that he was already there.
I asked him to put me on the list, which he did.
Nice guy.
We waited maybe five minutes.
But for the big party? i think i think they knew anxiety i think they knew something was up when i went up there and they asked me what my
phone number was and i started reading it and i was looking at the phone and looking at her
i was like yeah this is a dead giveaway that this is not my reservation oh we went kind of early
days so it wasn't oh dude it was certainly not early. It was Saturday at 6 p.m.
It was like 5 something, I think.
No, we were in trouble.
We were in trouble.
No, somehow.
You never know when you'll see a sell-by.
I don't know how this happened at Matt's El Rancho,
but the wait time for as big of a group that we had,
we had, I think, 12 people.
Hour.
We didn't even wait the hour.
I know something I want to say.
Our waitress, very nice young lady.
Facts.
What?
It's just a weird way to intro what you're about to say.
Very nice young lady.
I know something I want to say.
She was waiting on us.
Yeah, you can't clarify that you have to say something.
She was waiting on us, doing a fantastic job.
And at the near the end of the meal, she goes,
by the way, I have to say something here or else my boyfriend would kill me if I didn't.
Her boyfriend, big time backer. And I his name i feel so bad i forgot his name
uh did she say i know something i want to say and then introduce that statement yeah she did
i know something i want to say no um she was very nice and i wish i remembered what her boyfriend's
name was but shouts to you thanks for being a listener you demand we got a pick it was it was
sick dude what'd you order or hold on oh no you to you. Thanks for being a listener. You da man. We got a pic. It was sick.
Dude, what'd you order?
Hold on.
Oh, no, you got too full on the chips and salsa before.
Dude, I hate when that happens.
It's like every time.
Even like in an Italian restaurant,
like if they bring breadsticks...
All right, I'm done.
We got beef fajitas, dog.
I think Italian restaurants
need to start bringing bread
with the meal so you can sop up everything with restaurants need to start bringing bread with the meal so you
can sop up everything with the meal instead of bringing it before the meal
when you're already getting full on bread and stuff.
They've stepped up their beef fajita game.
The meat's just.
Chef's kiss.
Did you get the blood orange margarita?
Oh,
I forgot to do that.
Or the burnt orange margarita.
I mean.
I just got a.
They're just pandering.
I got a frozen with a dot. Wow. Must be nice, dude. to do that. Or the burnt orange margarita, I mean. I just got a frozen. They're just pandering. I got a frozen with a dot.
Wow, must be nice, dude.
Bad boy shit.
Must be nice.
Bad boy shit, David.
You probably would have gotten like a...
Are you done yet?
I'm trying to hear which Marvel movies Dave watched this weekend.
Dylan, introduce that you want to say something.
What would I have ordered?
What would I have ordered?
Just say like a glass of pee-pee or something. I was going to say like what would i have ordered what would i have ordered just say like a glass of peepee or something i was gonna say like a shirley temple but peepee's better yeah do they
serve peepee there is that one of their new cocktails in the menu it's the matt special
if if our intern task if when we get our interns in the office this year and now that we're like
our office is on south lamar right down the street from Matt's El Rancho,
if there is not a photo put up of us in the main bar lobby area, incognito style, it's going to be a miss from the interns this year.
It's all I require.
Do we know if they're attached to the wall or just hung up there?
I think they're attached.
I think I tried to pull on one one time just to see, but we just need to get some command strips and just have the interns just put a photo of us up there good call we can sign it
and everything we can make it look as legit as we want but i i need it to be up there just because
like age it a little bit too you know yeah let's do it yeah it needs that's that's the intern
capstone yep what what davey get into this weekend um i we need to have a drink we need to have a drink called the siphon by the way
this is straight gas maybe that's what i'm gonna call cold brew going forward well that's where
that's where i take a sip of your drink using a straw and then i put it in my mouth and then i
baby bird it into your mouth what what do i come in i want it yeah you're not a part of this i mean
i can siphon your drink too i'm the s siphon guy though. What if we triple kiss and just exchange it that way?
I need a Photoshop of Will wearing an old-timey robber mask.
Just running off with a little half hose.
No, dude.
I get to wear a badass helmet and stuff with a mouth attachment.
Oh, you're old school siphon.
No, give me a mouth attachment.
A mouth attachment.
That's what they do. Give this dude a mouth attachment, David. I put the hose on there. Oh, I didn old school, Simon. No, give me a mouth attachment. A mouth attachment. That's what they...
Give this dude a mouth attachment, David.
I put the hose on there.
Oh, I didn't really do anything.
It was...
Did that sound sick?
It was a big Marvel weekend.
I am through Iron Man 3.
I thought Pete Blackburn canceled Friday Night Marbles.
Did he really cancel?
That's a bummer because that's a good product.
Oh, I finished the Ye documentary.
And?
The last episode was pretty depressing. mean that's that's real though i might skip it and dress it up
we didn't get any skeet talk on the yay no ski no it's just pre-ski don't see what ski did
chill out we're talking skeet in a few minutes yeah just hold down on this read the rundown
one time for me dude mother effa effa. Oh, my God.
That might have been your worst ever singing on this podcast.
That was bad.
Don't even revisit it.
Do you want me to mute him so you can talk about your weekend, Dave?
No, no, no.
I mean, mine will be over fairly quickly, and then I'll yield.
Oh, no.
Marvel.
Did some Marvel watching.
Did Avengers.
Did the second Thor.
Iron Man 3.
Iron Man 3, I'm not not gonna say it was a pile
of trash but it just was not compared to the other two i thought it was meh it didn't hit
it was just a lot it was a little long and then the villain his origin story was just a little
sus just who's the villain in that one some guy oh that's sick some guy who starts out mickey roark is like a nerd no it's two is
it loki it's not loki loki it wasn't him no loki's a thor character but he's i mean he's in the
universe obviously he's a player avengers and things of that nature um excuse me i watched a
lot of watched a lot of golf yesterday. I had fun watching golf,
the second round, very confusing. I'm, I was, I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty bummed at how
this tournament panned out. I'm on one end. I'm glad because we got to see the absurdity of,
you know, 30, 40 mile an hour winds, uh, on the best players in the world playing a very difficult
course. One that features an Island green. It's an Island green. You can use that if the tour's
listening. Um, but on the other hand, yeah, the, the way it's confusing, you're watching a guy
like, wait, is this his second round? Is this his first round? Just figuring out when to watch,
like what, okay. Is this live right now? Is this not live right now? No. No.
Still going on.
It's just a bummer, man.
I was getting so horned up to watch this weekend, and it just all got tanked.
Lowry put one in on 17.
That was lit.
That was cool.
Hove had one today.
Not at 17.
No shit.
Dave, how do you feel about Big Randy NLU's take that you shouldn't be celebrating a hole-in-one
with somebody when they snag one during a tournament.
I love the take.
I agree with it,
but I love it.
Okay.
That I,
my,
my group text misunderstood me when I said that I love the take.
I think they thought that I was backing the take.
I'm not backing the take,
but I love that the take exists out there.
The take needs to exist.
And it's something that's been missing from golf takes.
And I applaud big Randy.
I also liked that.
We got to see hoodies on the course this weekend for the first time in a little little while i'm not gonna add anybody but there's
a gentleman in my high school group text that's very against the hoodie yeah and i'm like dude
you could not be more wrong dude it let the let the let the dudes wear their hoodie every every
high school group text that talks about golf is divided on this right now we got in a huge we
got in a huge argument about it in our group text are the hoodies down or over their heads though
down hands usually down okay if you if you're wearing the hood part of a hoodie while swinging
a golf club that part looks pretty stupid yeah you're not wrong just saying and constricting
i don't tell i don't tell people what to wear hold on whether
you're a professional golfer a nice young lady anybody that's what it sounds like when dylan
hits a shot go
dylan
when you hear that you know it's over yeah you know you just lost you know that pen's in trouble
that you'll never collect oh uh oh we did jets friday night shout out you flew jets what do you mean oh
do you remember the jet video i sent y'all friday night sitting in my house about 6 45
heard some jets fly over but they were loud loud like
rattling the windows i was like man that's wild so i run outside look up don't see anything and it
the sound went for like 45 seconds pull my phone out i saw two flashing lights way out in the
distance um in the southern sky and they were blinking and i showed you all the
video it's very faint but i was very bizarre because they weren't moving it was really really
weird um are they are they finally here no i don't think they heard me talking that booty
chatter recently i went immediately to the austin subreddit there's like 120 comments people like
whoa what was that that was really loud and people speculating a lot of people throwing
out bad information be like oh it's clearly fuller f-16s like how do you know that i'm
impressed that you could find it in the in between everyone complaining about people driving on the
left uh in the left lane on mopag that really is that's all that fucking reddit is yeah don't stop driving in
the left people bitching about lime scooters that's actually me why stop driving the left lane
because that's what everyone complains about on the reddit it's a passing lane it's just it's all
they complain about okay on the high no i'm surprised you didn't know that on the highway in
in urban areas city near the city no the left lane is for driving fast.
It's not for passing.
It never has been.
Wow.
Big driver guy.
He drives.
They expect people to just not go
to the left lane unless you're passing?
It's a three-lane highway
and a very busy...
Idiots.
Dumb, dumb people.
The city's full of them.
Bad drivers in this city. i yield my time to will
i didn't do much else uh as you guys know i did set the world record for most chick-fil-a nugs
eaten at a first year first birthday party i had 40 how many adults were consuming nuggets
mainly me there weren't enough for everybody there um i did uh i did start drive to survive
this weekend i'm three episodes in very much
enjoying it i'm also current on marvelous mrs mazel i just did a lot of tv watching this weekend
unbelievable acting for this season if anyone's out there looking for a new show unbelievable
acting we're just out here mobbing and then uh yeah yesterday i just did a classic sunday movie
boy got jersey mics for lunch hey had that saturday dude i'm addicted i had it four times
last week i was gonna say can
we get it today no i'm done i'm retired from it for a little bit it took bae and i several hours
sunday to figure out that the time had changed we were very confused man time changes with a baby
are different not in the good way you lost an hour yeah oh my god trying to get them on schedule
what are we doing here i hate having to wake up rose in the
morning yeah you feel bad yeah i feel like i feel like it's gonna set him on a bad course for the
day i did a shitty move today you know what i did i let him sleep in oh you savage
you gotta that's a tough one i'm a savage no you're not people are calling me a growing boy
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very episode.
We got some Monday motivation, Dave.
We do.
This is a story that's been
developing for a minute.
If you are
somebody who did some time in the High
Plains region of Texas, the
Lubbock area.
I only get high like paper and fly like plains
mia damn i don't even know if that was right no i i knew what you meant so it was right enough
um this has been developing so if you're familiar with uh Rager Dykes Auto Group, it is a noted dealership.
And I think they have locations outside of Lubbock.
I know they advertise or used to advertise in Dallas, Fort Worth.
Why are we talking about this local crime story?
That doesn't seem like it's very interesting. Interesting. Well, because Bart Rager was the owner and he was recently sentenced to 14 years in prison,
federal prison, due to his...
Basically, he lied, made false statements to a bank.
Big no-no.
Kind of lied about the trajectory of his company to secure a loan.
We've all done that.
I do that all the time.
Don't admit to that.
Would you say he cooked the books?
He was commingling funds, taking money from this loan.
Just tell me he cooked the books.
Yes.
A number of people went down for this.
That's all I want to hear.
Books were cooked.
Let's go.
So did he microwave them like Dylan?
You got to think.
He just took his little yellow legal pad and put it in there and just mashed that 30-second button.
By the way, when you do the microwave, are you a,
and let's say you want to do two minutes,
are you a punch-in-two-minutes guy or are you a mash-that-30-second-four-times guy?
Let me just say this.
Okay.
If I can't cook it in 30-second intervals, I'm not doing it.
Steve Jobs said.
It's the only button.
Steve Jobs said the only button that needs to be on a microwave is a 30-second plus button.
He's right.
You don't need anything else.
Hey, I'm still trying to figure out how to change the time on mine.
It's going to be like that for a long time.
Is this a new character?
No, it's not.
I'd like to give a special shout out to whoever makes my microwave.
They made it incredibly easy to change the time yesterday.
I was actually shocked.
Must be nice.
Would that set you back a microwave?
They're fairly inexpensive.
It was just kind of sitting there when I moved in. I don't know. Yeah. Would that set you back a microwave? They're fairly inexpensive. It was just kind of sitting there when I moved in.
I don't know.
Okay.
So during the sentencing phase.
Couldn't get that sentence out.
Some videos came to light of the motivational speeches, basically his sales team meetings that he led
and in an effort to chastise, applaud,
comment on the work ethic of his sales team.
Okay.
And first of all, I want to say,
if you remember an old school bit of
give us a shot to earn your business,
this man is the originator of that.
I need to hear that original.
Well, they were on radio ads.
I don't know if they exist.
I will do my best to find them.
Randy, if you don't mind playing it.
So this is a video that they played in court at a sentencing.
If you can imagine, he's already down bad enough, just got found guilty.
And then they're playing these videos. And Randy, if you would, please.
You don't want to win more than you want to live.
I do. I'll fucking die to win. I want to win every fucking day, every fucking day,
every fucking deal. You got to want, you got to want to win more than you want to win every fucking day. Every fucking day.
Every fucking deal.
You got to want to win more than you want to live.
Thank you.
Getting big Frankie Frankie oil tanky vibes.
Just to be clear, I just need to ask this question. Show me the life, first of all.
Is winning if you're dead worth it i mean at the end of the
day you won true you want to die a winner or a loser but hey great question hey put that blue
ribbon on my gravestone player you get it hell yeah i get it uh best part of that clip which
you can find on twitter we'll rt it um so these like this camera this is a still camera set up on a tripod you have to think and there's
some unfortunate sales guys that are in the shot and so like their reaction is very evident and
in that last clip there's a dude there's a moment where the dude does the uh kind of feels awkward
so he picks up his pen and acts like he's gonna write some notes down but then he just bails
immediately he's like i don't know well you can see that you can see the board in the
background i was just looking at it i assume that they have cars sold next to these people
people's names sniper has sold 16 cars this month which is just really impressive that would have
been me p diddy coming in coming in with seven yeah rufio's at seven as well as as well as
tristan um can't see the name of someone.
Someone up there has only done two, and you know they're a big time trouble. I've got to say, Troy, I expected better from old T-Roy.
Is that a big country?
There's a big country on the far right.
Yeah, hard to say, but I'm glad that he's got these niggas.
K-Money, you can't see how many K-Money got.
Well, this is a more lengthy clip.
This might be my favorite randy if you would
please i'm just saying that beast beast last night some of y'all weren't there because you
didn't sell 20 units i mean what was your reason why weren't you at work yesterday?
Why don't you feel good?
Boo fucking who?
Cry your way to the weak zone.
Cry your way to the loser dome.
Loser dome?
You know, I'll sit with you and fucking listen to your fucking weak ass shit, but how many times have y'all heard me crying?
I can't be crying because I've got to take care of a lot of fucking crybabies.
Shit, if I started crying, all hell would break loose.
Somebody's got to be strong.
Somebody's got to be consistent.
And somebody's got to be a. Somebody's got to be consistent.
And somebody's got to be a fucking leader.
I chose me.
Come on up to the podium.
Or sit out there in that fucking buffet line that you've been living in with everybody else that's fucking average.
Come on up to the front. Come on up to the beast average. Come on up to the front.
Come on up to the beasties.
Come on up to the millionaire zone.
Come on up to the flying, jet flying, private jet owning,
gator wearing, Rolex wearing club.
Come on up.
He's doing the Ric Flair.
It's a choice you got to make,
or you can cry your way to sleep with all the other fucking losers.
Have a good day.
Alright.
What does this guy's morning look like
before he goes into
these meetings
and starts going in?
He just does cocaine.
But like what
he has to listen
or watch something
that gets him fired up
before he goes into
these meetings.
You can't just
raw dog these meetings.
He puts off the vibe
of a guy
like an adult
that eats
like little kids cereal
before he goes into work. Like he's eating a bowl of Lucky Charms. He does like the vibe of a guy, like an adult, that eats little kids cereal before he goes to work.
Like he's eating a bowl of Lucky Charms.
He does like the mini boxes.
He gets a variety pack.
The variety pack.
There was nothing better as a kid.
I just don't get this guy's deal.
He looks so much like Alex Jones that it's somewhat concerning.
They're definitely long lost brothers of some sort.
He's wearing a gray suit with a black shirt, black button down.
For a minute. Very few certain circumstances where you can black shirt, black button down. For a minute.
Very few certain circumstances
where you can pull off a black button.
It's just not a look that I'm pulling off.
I thought he was saying the bee's knees.
I did too.
And which also is funny.
But it's the beast feast,
which apparently is some sort of sales goal
where they get to go.
To Schlotzky's.
To one of the many, many, many.
They go to Firehouse Subs. fine dining restaurants in Lubbock.
Only beasts are invited to that.
What's the best steakhouse in Lubbock?
Las Parisas?
That's what I thought too.
If it's even still there?
If I got out of the car in Lubbock, I still think I'd just get beat up immediately.
I step out and I'm like, oh, what a great set.
You immediately get hit by an F-350.
Yeah, I got a square- square toe boot straight to my jaw.
You get a square toe boots upside your head,
man.
Getting curb stomped by a square toe.
I'm going to start telling,
I'm going to start using loser dome more often in my vocabulary.
I liked loser dome.
That was one of my favorites.
I didn't drop him to the weak zone.
The weak zone.
I mean,
I just,
I don't understand.
You're selling cars. My guy is doing nothing to motivate me. I mean, I just don't understand. You're selling cars, my guy.
This is doing nothing to motivate me.
If I'm in that meeting, I'm like this.
Oh, it's not?
Absolutely not.
Sounds like a guy who's not going to sell 20 units.
Yeah, catch me not at the beast feast.
How many units would you even sell?
Probably four.
Four units?
You're single digit units.
There's no doubt in my mind.
They just sell nothing but F-250s.
What are they pushing up there?
You got to think F-150s were a big part of it it's always truck month at this guy's place get a free pair of uh square toes for every f-250 i like that i'd be so happy
if i got a free pair of boots with my with my next car purchase be sick so i'm reading uh i'm
reading a write-up on it, and it said,
in videos introduced at sentencing, Mr. Rigger also told employees that anyone bringing home a five-digit salary is broke as expletive and living a chump life.
So rude.
He also said, don't have any skeletons.
See, I don't have any.
And if I had any, I already forgot them.
I got a selective memory.
I remember what I blank want to remember, he told his employees.
And everything else doesn't blanking matter.
I'm glad you brought this quote up because there's video of this quote, and it kind of stuck with me.
Usually if I have skeletons in my closet, I keep mental tabs on those so that they still can't get out.
It sounds like he went a little too far into this mentality and forgot that he just straight up lied to banks yeah well now co-mingle
funds now a jail sentence is gonna be part of uh the skeletons in this closet i'm sure he won't
forget about that yeah yeah i think he wakes up and he's like oh fuck i'm in jail again i tried
to forget that how long is he going to the clink for uh 14 years really yeah for fibbing financial statements yeah don't so it sounds like it was
a little more than a fib that's a serious sentence man well you own most of the company at this point
you don't you own more than we do so like if someone oh i would flip on you real quick how
can i how can i uncook the books you gotta you gotta take them out of the microwave first
you gotta flash fry them y'all
wouldn't flip on me dog i would flip i'll take you if i needed to flip i'd flip dude randy what
randy's been wearing a wire this entire time would you flip on me to avoid jail time yeah
what if it's like you would fare so much better than jail than me you have tats and stuff like
i'd get in there and just get i have. I have a duck on my right ass cheek.
Like, I'm a target.
Dude, that's hard.
No, there's nothing hard about that.
That's hard.
You have to get that changed.
I have to, yes.
Dude, that's essentially a teardrop.
You'd have to get it changed from a duck to, like, a goose.
Some kind of gang.
They're notoriously mean.
They are, yeah.
Very territorial.
You'd be the goose in jail.
Man, that first golf course we played in vegas
they were they were goose geese everywhere just shitting all over the golf course oh yeah that's
that's one of the issues of playing in northern michigan the goose poop is real
big old turds for a bird man they're big birds
what's a goose sound like based on your experience?
I don't want to do it.
Don't do it.
Do a goose siphoning gas from your car and flying off with it.
Do you know what noise geese make?
I'm trying to think, actually.
What noise do they make when they're siphoning gas?
If I tell you what noise they make, will you try to make the noise?
The embarrassment thing about doing it is already pretty steep.
They honk.
Like that?
That's more of a duck.
It's like a lower-pitched duck.
There's pretty good.
Come on, that gas.
But do one that's kind of gargling some gas.
So expensive. I'm getting killed right now
he's trying to honk and the gas is just falling out of his mouth
this is so stupid
what about a Christopher Walken
no
you're doing a lot
you're going to enter the loser zone
the loser dome the loser dome the weak zone i hate being in the weak zone i would have been
i have to say i can tell i would not have been a top salesperson i would not have moved the
the necessary units to achieve the beast feast i was in uh i was using fit bod the other day
and it told me i needed to step up because i was in the weak zone now you're eating at the buffet
with the rest of the average people.
That doesn't sound so bad.
It looks like eating.
Yeah, buffets are normally all you can eat.
It's not a Beast Feast, though.
I don't know.
It depends where the Beast Feast is.
If it's at Last Police Suss or whatever.
You're eating Sloppy Joe's and mac and cheese.
Beast Feast is prime rib.
You know what?
Maybe I'm just a common man.
He's going to get gout.
He is going to get gout. He is going to get gout.
What if you crushed it so much at that company,
you got gout from all the beast feasts?
He popped his leg up on the table.
Dude, you could see the tear in his eyes.
He was about to tear his pants open when he did that.
He realized immediately that this was a bad idea.
What's weird about it is he's addressing the people in the room,
his salespeople, his sales staff,
but he's also looking right at the camera like he's saving these clips so he can show them to like future
that's so embarrassing yeah to have that played in court
yeah that's tough fucking losers i'm looking at all of the people in his company that had to plead guilty. Tough scene.
Oh, it wasn't just him?
No.
To him.
Not at all.
Just give him a shot to earn your business.
Should we talk skeet?
Also $9 million in restitution.
Nine milli?
Nine milli.
You want to do some skeet talk?
Oh, skeet, skeet.
Stop.
Mother F-er.
I was wrong.
I thought he was going to space with Elon.
Who's he going with?
He's on that Bezos tip.
Oh, yeah, he's got to go with Elon.
This says, Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson will actually be going to space this month
instead of just pretending to on live television.
I'm not sure if you guys have seen the viral skit of Chad going to space.
I've got to say, one of the better skits they've done.
That was incredible.
The Chad ones are good.
The Chad ones are good.
It says, space tourism venture Blue Origin announced the latest crew to head to the edge of space with the company's new Shepard rocket.
As rumored, Davidson is the latest celebrity guest to join the crew's ranks.
celebrity guest to join the crew's ranks.
On board with Davis, he'll be angel investor and former CEO of Party America, Marty Allen.
So Party Marty's going to space as well.
As well as husband and wife duo, Mark and Sharon Hagel.
Mark Hagel is the CEO of Tricor International, while Sharon Hagel founded a nonprofit called Space Kids Global.
That sounds like a fake company.
Space Kids?
Hey, call me.
Space Kids Global. That's not real. That. Space Kids? Hey, Space Kids Global.
That's not real.
That's a front.
Call me when they go beyond just the edge of space.
I know you're about to make an edging joke here,
but seriously,
they're just going to the very... They're just touching it.
If it's me, I'm going to Asgard, right, Randy?
I'm trying to go to Tatooine.
Oh.
Just go into actual space, man.
You're just touching tip.
Edging space is better than no space.
No, it's not.
I don't want to be in that.
Are you saying that that's the loser dome?
Yeah.
Is that like another level of the atmosphere?
Like the stratosphere and things like that.
And it's a loser dome.
Probably.
What? You know what I mean
how long
it's a quick trip
they're gone for 15 minutes
it's dumb
I feel like
I feel like something bad
is going to happen
sooner than later
with this whole process
we're going to lose
we're going to lose
some people at some point
in these space trips
we're going to
it's a fairly safe trip because they're not really going to space.
Oh, okay.
Minimizing it, huh?
Yeah, I am.
What's the point?
What if they're on the launch pad and they go to launch and it's not launching and then they realize, well, it siphoned all the gas?
I'm just sitting there with a tube just, what up?
Sorry, Kanye sent me.
Oh, my God.
Did you think of that?
Okay, 62 miles.
That's how far they're going.
I know we've talked about this before.
62 miles.
How much further is it to the moon?
Like, how far is Waco from here?
It's like going to San Antonio.
The moon's not that far.
What's the moon like, 100 miles?
It's another shack bit.
It's a little farther.
It's a shack
bed it's a great bit 62 miles is how far space is okay we get it dude you're not impressed i'm not
are you yeah a little bit why i don't know this is high it's way up there remember the red bull guy
did a skydive out of a yeah show me skeet doing
that i'll be impressed then what you get you want you want skeet davidson in a squirrel suit just
going out from space that would be sick that guy was sick if he really wanted to flex on kanye he'd
put a squirrel suit i i would officially join team skeet are you team kanye currently um i don't know
there's a lot to follow and i feel like it's not the best time to be team Ye.
Yeah, I don't think it is either.
I'm definitely not team Skeet.
Don't be sending photos of you in his ex-wife's bed.
Yeah, I mean, you can talk about that place that Kanye's coming from
and everything like that, but the disrespect that Skeet showed Kanye
by taking a selfie in bed like you can't be
doing why did he ask him where he was because i think he was hoping he was going to come to
sunday service i like that kanye's first thing was like oh we're using profanity huh like like
kanye have you listened to some of your music yeah we watched the video for uh with you in game
the animated short where you decapitate
Skeet and then grow
roses on his head. Yeah, I wouldn't try to take
the higher moral ground with Skeet right now, Kanye.
You literally just killed him on video and
buried him alive. Correct, but it was art.
I feel like if Skeet showed up to his Sunday service,
Kanye would embrace him
and it'd be this...
He's kind of all about love and stuff.
At least that's what at least
that's what he says yeah i've only seen some video of sunday service and i've never attended one but
i get i get positive vibes only from the sunday service i'm will defries and this is the sunday
service yeah i think i think dude i think i should have kanye on sunday scaries to talk about a
sunday service they while out at that thing man it looks kind of tight it looks kind of tight
should we go to the one in coach or we could i guess they're not doing it this year he's doing coachella still where'd you do it no one would
never go i think they're in miami doesn't believe in god he's always telling us that on the side
let's not do that you bring it up all the time let's not do that stop we're not gonna talk god
on here aren't you a big why we're talking space didn't didn't you say that you've kind of been
you're thinking about joining this like Sea Org thing or something?
We're going to go out to the sea with a bunch of like-minded people?
Do you not want to do that?
Doesn't it sound dope?
What?
Wait, what is it?
What, the Sea Org?
They used to call Dave's dorm room the Sea Org back in the day.
They used to call you Elrond Cupboard for all the hand sanitizer you kept in there.
Elrond Cupboard? Yeah the hand sanitizer you kept in there. L. Ron Cupboard?
Yeah.
That's right.
No one's doing that joke.
Dude.
That's a throwback.
No one had more hand sanitizer during the pandemic.
We all look like idiots.
What was the dumbest shit we did during lockdown that we didn't actually have to do?
Because we were like dumping hand sanitizer on ourselves all the time.
Turns out we didn't need it that much.
Yeah, I mean, it's good to have sanitized hands.
It wasn't really transmitted that way.
You could have run a vehicle on that.
That stuff was very, very liquidy.
Give a bunch of it away.
I mean, he could have run one,
but he would have tried to start it up
and it would have started clicking
because, you know, your boy was there
just waiting in the wings.
Oh, dude. We was just siph just waiting in the wings. Oh, dude.
Will was just siphoning.
Uh-huh.
Dude, no liquid is safe.
The siphon king of Austin.
I need you to siphon my bladder.
Dude, Dylan looked over at Matt's El Rancho the other night.
He thought he had a full margarita, and he went to go take a sip of it.
He looked down.
It was just empty.
He looked over at me, and I just had chipmunk cheeks full of his marg.
He had like six straws put together, and he was sucking them from like two seats over.
It was sick.
It was like the inspector gadget of siphoning.
Yeah.
I was like, whoa, who's siphoning my marg?
I look over, Will's just twisted over there with two full margs.
It was crazy.
I did tell you I've never done before, Matt.
I told Rancher the other night, you guys ready for this?
I got a to-go marg.
You had dinner with 18 babies.
I got a to-go marg.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Beautiful babies?
How many babies were at your table?
Like 35 three. Well, we had four babies at our table. It seemed like it was 60
Yeah, we had one person there who was not married nor did she have a baby and I think she regretted coming to that dinner
Yeah, she should have sat at the uh, why the adult table with us?
I think she was like what if I got myself into it's? That's like Brett any time he goes out with us.
Yeah, that's fair.
That's fair.
Yeah, we promised Brett that he could move down here and just mob with us.
And instead, we all just had kids.
That's kind of what happened, yeah.
The pandemic hit.
We had the pandemic, then we had some kids.
That's how that goes.
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Is it 2.30 right now?
What time is it?
Is it dentist time?
Can someone tell me what time it is?
It feels like it's about 2.30 right now? What time is it? Is it dentist time? Can someone tell me what time it is? It feels like it's about 2.30 right now.
Yeah, it's dentist time.
What happened to this Western Dental?
Can someone tell me what Western Dental is
before we get into this news story
so that I sort of base this off of?
I believe it is a dentist office.
Yeah.
Just a local little dentist office.
Okay, so it's just Western Dental.
Yeah, and upon review of, after seeing the clip that we're about to play um sent it to you
on slack randy sorry about that uh they don't have the best reviews in fact um if you look at
the better business bureau are we on there we are not what just happened well let's just say
oh okay i thought dave's computer like i thought norton needed to update again so Are we on there? We are not. What just happened? Well, let's just say... That's the clip, dog.
Oh, okay.
I thought Dave's computer...
I thought Norton needed to update again.
Dave was shredding over there?
On average of 94 customer reviews...
Small sample size.
Their average rating is 1.01 out of 5 stars.
That's not strong.
I just clicked on their Facebook where they have about 2.5 stars, and it's just not going well for them.
about two and a half stars and it's it's just not going well for them this tweet came across the uh the tl yesterday and it appears to be a one man uh protesting a western dental so he's outside
and to set the stage he has a guitar an amp a fender amp and a sign. Randy, if you would, please. This is enough to, to convince me never to go to western dental i rock with this guy because he
rocks with us this guy's a straight shooter if i've ever seen one if i pull up and i've got to
get like a crown removed or whatever it is and i see some dude out there that's just shredding
just melting faces i'm not going into that dentist office. I'm going to call my
insurance company and say, you got to find me somebody else. Then I'm going to go to the Better
Business Bureau and see that the reviews are not flattering. Yeah. I Googled Western Dental
Reviews. And one of the first Google results is just a Reddit thread that says, is Western
dental a scam? It's not great. It's not what you want. They really try to get you to pay up front for a lot of stuff, it appears.
Oh, come on.
Sarah P. One Star says,
I regret spending almost $11,000 on an implant.
And they pulled my tooth and it's been six months
and I haven't gotten the implant yet.
So they did the front work, the front loading.
They just took her tooth and said, bye.
You can't just take your money and not deliver.
Right.
Yeah, you know what?
Western dental does suck.
Do we have any in Austin?
I don't know.
I might go play bongos in front of them to protest in Austin.
Side note, I started going to a new dentist recently,
and I've always hated going to dentists.
I don't even mind anymore.
They're so great. See, I might need to talk to you about this, because going to a new dentist recently, and I've always hated going to the dentist. I don't even mind anymore. They're so great.
See, I might need to talk to you.
They're so great.
I might need to talk to you about this because I need a new dentist.
I need someone that is not affiliated with anyone that I know.
I need to go somewhere.
They're awesome, and they're right by our new office.
Yeah, see, I might have to squat up there.
I mean, like across the street.
Wow, so for those two days a year.
I'm walking.
Hey, I'm walking in
what's your favorite part about going to the dentist leaving it's the feeling you get when
you're getting back in your car and you got a little baggie with a couple toothbrush i like
it when they get that really grainy fruit flavored stuff and they go do you know what else they did
i told them i'm getting married in uh two. You know what they did? They gave me free teeth whitening stuff, like the trays and everything.
I said, here, this is a gift for you for being such a cool dude who's getting married.
Go get some white-ass teeth.
I said, thanks, player.
My favorite part is when they notice that your mouth is filling up with saliva,
so they put the thing in there, and you have to shut your mouth.
It is cool.
It is cool. You can't harness that feeling that you get because and you have to shut your mouth. It is cool. It is cool.
You can't harness that feeling that you get because you only,
you only get to do it there.
As a kid,
I would,
I would frequently love going to the dentist because of that.
Would you hold,
would you hold your mouth on it too long to see how long you could last for
the suction?
Yup.
Yup.
That's how I got so good at siphoning.
Well,
go to my new dentist.
We'll walk together.
Maybe,
maybe.
There's no way you're going to have.
We'll line them up. Maybe. My boy's a dentist and he's been trying to move to austin for like years now
and i'm just waiting i'm like dude come on hurry up yeah you need i'm trying to get that free care
dog that dental plug i hate going to the dentist i mean our insurance covers there's nothing i hate
more than annual visits it's the worst so i respect dentists i think dentists are cool but
going to the dentist it's pretty cool you of them are cool You think they're cool?
Dude this guy is
I don't want a cool dentist
This guy is sick
Y'all should go to him
I want a dude
Who's just straight up
In the loser dome
Yeah
Yeah I want a guy
Who's just all about teeth man
No vibes
Just teeth
Dude teeth
Are kind of a vibe though
I hate teeth
They're bones
That live outside of our body
Well bones are their money
No
I mean they kind of are You do get a dollar For every tooth That you lose pretty much hay teeth. They're bones that live outside of our body. Well, bones are their money. No.
I mean, they kind of are.
You do get a dollar for every tooth that you lose, pretty much.
Yeah.
That's not the rate anymore.
What is it?
Exactly. How much did you give your son?
What was the damage?
Is that what you're asking me?
Yeah.
How much money?
Parks has gotten as much as 20 bucks for a tooth from his mom, not from me.
That is preposterous.
Man.
That is preposterous.
I thought it was from the tooth fairy.
That's pretty great.
Inflation, wow.
I remember I had to write him a check.
It's a flex though.
Was it a cashier's check?
It was just a check check.
Is there any bigger beating than having to go to the bank
to get a cashier's check?
There's no bigger beating than just going to the bank.
That's why we use stamps.com.
Oh, what?
That was almost a really good segue,
but we don't have that today. Yeah, but unfortunately, they're actually trying to offset the post office.
No freebies.
No freebies, dog.
This might be commonplace, but I lived in an apartment complex in Oklahoma City.
And if you were late on rent, even a day, they're like, well, you got to pay the cashier's check.
You're just like, okay.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I guess I'll go down to the bank and get it.
Here's your rent.
I guess just evict me.
I'm not doing that.
That happened to me. Seriously. Just kill your rent. I guess just evict me. I'm not doing that. That happened to me.
My old apartment complex.
I put in the wrong routing number at my old apartment complex.
And they told me after that first miss that I had to give a cashier's check for every
single time that I paid rent.
And I was like, are you kidding?
I was like, am I the first person to ever mess up a routing number or something like
that?
You can't just like say this was a first time offense.
It was a mistake.
I started to argue it. And then two weeks later, they fired the entire front office staff. And I
was like, well, that cleared it up for me. Not because of me. They just made a big organization
wide change. You didn't know. I could, I could see Will out front of his apartment complex,
like with a bass guitar, just doing like a six slap solo. No, I was actually, I actually found
out where the front office people parked. And not only did i have them towed but they had to get towed because i siphoned all their gas and i spit it i spit it
onto the window of the lobby siphon king strikes again yeah sorry sorry bitch yeah i showed up to
the dentist after and they're like sir are you gargling gasoline let's say yeah bone dry i just
filled it up yep they actually used to call me bone dry back in the day because you siphon all the gas wow you were at the beast feast every time yeah dude you can't
stop me i like the taste of gasoline imagine like the tow truck driver like pulling up to tow like a
vehicle and we'll spot and put will guy like looks out and he's like sir can you will's up there just
playing a face melting guitar so like you gotta move man i gotta get this thing out of here are you one who's siphoning
all the gas out of these vehicles yeah that was me you gotta stop doing that what's the
i don't even know yeah whatever
shots of daylight savings time i mean like can we can we like just get rid of it all together
i still don't i still don't i don't really understand why we can't like i i know that
that's like like every podcast that starts they're like we should talk about daylight
savings time whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich and then a bracket and then we can
like just like do whatever. Yeah.
I mean, that's a good rundown for us. I don't understand why we can't just get rid of daylight savings.
Well, it saves daylight.
I feel like I'm getting an appropriate amount of daylight.
Can you explain like I'm five, like what the purpose of daylight savings is?
Yeah.
Oh, really? You need more time in the evening when people are off of work so you can sell more
units more vehicles and that way when you go to the sales meeting um your boss the owner of the
company bart his name is bart uh he won't berate you and call you a loser and make fun of you for
only making five figs uh basically trash your entire existence
right okay so yeah that's kind of the origin it makes more sense now yeah yeah
i'm not gonna i'm i'm done observing it
it's gonna be an hour late i think it's half the year i think it's a farmer's thing
okay if it's for the farmers i can get behind that i mean like honestly like the broad idea
of daylight savings or dst is what i call it it's credited to benjamin franklin back in 1784
that dumbass had to do with it when he was a delegate to france he wrote of his idea in a
comedic essay titled an economical project encouraging the french to abandon their usual
custom of waking up at noon and instead rise with the sun wow just at the french one time
front street french people would they really sleep until noon then franklin's got the vibe and instead rise with the sun. Wow. Just at the French one time. Front street.
French people.
Were they really sleeping until noon?
Ben Franklin's got the vibe of a dude
who stole a lot of ideas
from a lot of different people
and then made them his own.
You know how Europeans are, man.
He siphoned a lot of ideas.
You're right.
He's one of us.
He's the idea siphon.
One of us.
One of us.
Okay.
We got a package.
I still don't understand,
but that's cool
We got a package
And it does not look like one that
How big is it?
You know what it is?
Randy's mad horny for this package right now
Oh, it's probably another cable or some shit
Yeah
Oh, yeah
It's an HDMI cable
That also works on both Macs
Randy gets a new cable every week
Yeah, and then he goes and returns it at Amazon
Gets $5 in Kohl's cash from
Oh, he's running a scheme he's racketeering oh yeah i'm in here for cyber
randy's gonna do 14 years in federal prison because he was running a cole's cash scheme
through amazon you were co-mingling cole's cash funds i had someone the other day we were talking
the other day it was right before retail therapy barrett's like dude randy i have an idea for you he's like it turns out that if you return stuff
from amazon to kohl's you can get five dollars and randy's sitting there on a stack of cash like
yeah i fucking know the amount of stuff that randy has returned already for his five dollars in kohl's
cash is really costing the company a lot of money on the he also um told us earlier before we started
recording he is now a shareholder of kohl's he is he's got three he's held up three fingers he's got three shares of
coals damn well that set you back yeah what's the damage on that what's that what's that stock
looking like right now yeah how we doing hey we are like randy's in the green he's up he's up
nine points today oh 0.98. So one point.
That's still something.
Shots of Maxwell Cole.
Is he the Coles guy?
That's sick, man.
Born in 1901.
We've already gone an hour and ten minutes?
I don't think he's alive still.
No.
Hard to say.
That clock's not right.
Hard to say.
Shoot.
He came to the United States from Poland and worked in factories.
This is why you like it so much.
He's Polish.
Yeah, he worked in factories in the Milwaukee area until 1927,
until the age of 26.
He's a Polack.
I don't think you can say that, can you?
Is that a bad word?
Let's look it up.
That would be two, potentially, for one episode.
I don't know if you can say that.
Well, if that's a bad word, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
I have to claim ignorance here.
Randy tried to take the last episode of Retail Therapy by trying to make us say something racist.
I've got to break it to you, Dylan.
Is that racist?
It is derogatory.
I'm sorry to all the Polish folks out there.
I'm sure you're great people, all of you.
A lot of them in northern Michigan. I didn't know to all the Polish folks out there. I'm sure you're great people. All of you. A lot of them in Northern Michigan.
I didn't know that.
Big Polish community up there.
I'm sure they're a fine community or something.
Well,
it didn't seem like the best apology.
How bad do you want me to hit that theme song right now and get us out of here before you get canceled?
Bye.