Circling Back - Welcome To The Thank Bank
Episode Date: November 24, 2021We can confirm the rumors — yes, we brought back the old Touching Base segment, The Thank Bank, for Thanksgiving this year. We also dove into the best sports posters from our childhood, Dave diagnos...ed Will's pee disorder, Will Smith's best movies (and some other stuff lmbo), and more. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:11) Dave Diagnoses Will & Sports Posters (35:20) The Thank Bank (56:22) Will Smith’s Orgasms (1:07:00) This Weekend in Thanksgiving Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (download the app and use WASHED) Nomad: www.nomadgoods.com/steam Coinbase: www.coinbase.com/steam ($10 in BTC!) Zilker Belts: www.zilkerbelts.com (BACKER for 20% off in November) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge wednesday
before thanksgiving my name's Will DeFries.
To my left, that boy, Ruff.
Do you look at Dylan when you introduce me just to tease him?
Just to give him a glimmer of hope?
He had a very, very puzzled look on his face when I said the Wednesday before Thanksgiving because I don't think Dylan knows that this episode, even though it's recorded on Tuesday,
it's going out Wednesday.
Come on, man.
This dude does not pay attention.
Hey, would you pull your head out for one moment?
You looked at me all weird.
Why'd you look at me weird?
Because you were introducing Dave while looking at me.
I thought you gave me a look, dog.
Why did you just turn into Christopher Walken when you introduced Will?
Yeah, no, dude, I'm not kidding.
Dylan is legitimately saying certain things lately with a Christopher Walken accent to it.
You looked at me when introducing Dave I'm just like, hey.
Just on another level when it comes to my walk
and sometimes they just kind of blend together
a little bit. I don't know, man.
Happy Thanksgiving week. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
I like to first say happy Thanksgiving to everybody
out there. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
I hope you all have a great time
with your families or however
you're celebrating. From us here
at Wash Media, allow me to just get that out there first.
That's a high-energy Dylan intro.
Anyway, I was just checking in on Chris Parsons,
the old Duncanville quarterback who had to start the state game
after Jaquinden Jackson, the guy who is the Texas quarterback
or backup backup and transferred to Utah.
Anyway, he's now a verbal commit to Florida State, for those wondering.
I forgot Jaquinden transferred.
He's at Utah now.
He's behind Cam Rising.
Maybe he'll get some playing time in the bowl game.
I don't know.
Maybe.
That's sick.
Man, I am so horned for Thanksgiving.
I'm actually pretty horned for just Thanksgiving meal.
Ever since we did the food draft, I've just been very much looking forward to just absolutely loading my plate up.
Have you seen what's become a controversy?
Mm-mm.
Mac and cheese is the Thanksgiving side.
A lot of people on the TL.
A lot of people being asked in the media about it.
Is this a controversy among the circling back world, or is this a general controversy?
No, I saw them asking,
might have been somebody on the Patriots. Judon, forgot the fella's first name. Judon,
defensive end. Very good. Defensive end, that is. He says that it's just cheese and noodles and it's disgusting and doesn't belong on the table. Saw the same tweet I did.
Dude, I... Which, excuse me, Mr. Judon, but that's just a bad take.
When's the last time someone was like, oh, man, cheese and noodles?
No, thank you.
Who doesn't love cheese?
Who doesn't love noodles?
I like both of them.
Put them together, and it's a dope combination of awesome shit, and I'm going to eat it.
I do think that, like, I mean, I think it's more of a Southern thing to have mac and cheese on your plate.
We certainly never had that growing up.
It was always a very regimented meal. But if there's mac and cheese there i'm gonna at least put a little
scoop on there call me a little scoop uh no one's calling you a little scoop dude call me a little
scoop i don't think so man remember poop scoop no i know the poop scoop and boogie poop scoop
boogie kanye released a song called poopop Scoop. Poopity Scoop?
Oh, yeah.
Scoop Poop.
Scoop to Poop.
Not talked about that enough.
Not talked about is how weird that moment in time was.
I was at a bachelor party in Los Angeles when that dropped, and we were all like,
oh, new Kanye drop.
Let's toss it on and mob. And then soon we realized that that is not what we wanted to do when that song came on.
Did you have the one guy who was like, no, I actually think it's good?
No, no.
You guys just aren't really getting it.
No.
I think, actually, if I had to guess, I think a majority of the party probably didn't even want it on in the first place.
Shots of Kanye.
Yeah.
How do you think he's handling the Pete Davidson-Kim situation?
Probably fine.
Isn't he dating a 22-year-old?
Yeah.
I looked up his current girlfriend, and she's very beautiful.
So I hope that he's doing fine with it.
Okay. I mean, that would be annoying.
Yeah.
Yeah? I mean, they're not going to get married. Let's just
get that out there. So, I mean, at the end of the day,
it's just going to end up being some kind of... You don't know. They might be
in love, man. No, I don't think they are. What's the age
gap on those two? About 15 years?
16 years?
Hard to say. Pete Davidson is 28
years old. Kim's like 41.
You think 41?
41.
I'm a super
age recognizer.
So it's 13 years between them. AJ, nothing but a number
to me.
That's big of you.
I came home relatively buzzed the other night.
And my sister-in-law and her boyfriend were over at our place.
And I don't remember how this topic got brought up,
but somehow it got brought up who my celebrity crush would be.
And being that I had had a few martinis with Micah that night, I kind of hesitated and tried to think of it.
And then Sally walks in and she just goes, oh, Will's celebrity crush, Kim Kardashian.
What?
And I was like, where did this come from?
Is this real?
No.
No, it's not.
That's not the Will I know.
No.
And I was so thrown off.
But I was also, I mean, like I said, I'd had a few pops that night.
So I didn't really have, like, someone in mind that I could immediately go with.
had a few pops that night, so I didn't really have someone in mind that I could immediately go with, and now it's just generally accepted within that small group of the family that
I'm somehow in love with Kim Kardashian, even though I don't think I am.
Look, if that's your pick, I have no problem with it.
It's just kind of surprising to me.
I think there was maybe a time in my life, maybe like 10 years ago, when that might have
been my pick, but at this point, I have no desire to date and or marry and or be romantically
involved with Kim Kardashian. You don't want to date and or marry and or be romantically involved with Kim Kardashian.
You don't want to date Kim Kardashian?
No.
I mean, if I was single, maybe I'd go on a first date with her and see how things played out.
I was perusing TMZ, as I often do, before these shows.
Thank you.
And that's a good drop.
I've enjoyed it.
Yeah, there's something about it.
It's, like, pleasing to the ears.
They showed, like, a really blurry photo of Kim and Pete at dinner or something and said,
does Pete have a hickey?
And it was just like, okay.
That's currently trending right now, actually, is hickey.
Oh, my God.
Or whatever that thing is.
Man, she must have given him a nice touch. Okay. To get that hickey. Oh my God. Or whatever that thing is. They're going to... Man, she must have given him a nice touch.
Okay.
To get that hickey.
Okay.
Oh, that was good.
JR hickey.
That was really good.
What's up, JR?
Why do people give hickeys?
Because they're in high school?
But like, there's nothing cool about it.
No one's doing hickeys post high school.
I'll say it.
I feel like if a girl tried to give me a hickey,
I'd be like freaked out.
Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Honestly, are you even doing them post high school i'll say it i feel like if a girl tried to give me a hickey i'd be like freaked out like what are you doing what are you doing honestly are you even doing them in high
school or like does that end like eighth or ninth grade i feel like it ended in like 1968
yeah they're necking first time i ever kissed a girl that's a different i gave her a hickey at
the same time she was real hot by the way just saying this is middle school i gave her a hickey
i want people to know that i got down with her you know what of it that's kind of a bold move dylan why do you do it it didn't really it didn't
really like show up it was it was a very good it was a weak attempt yeah that's true i just
have a smooching there's nothing cool about hickeys um no you're right. What, Dave?
There was a way to give yourself a fake one.
I can't remember what it was,
but I knew people who gave themselves fake hickeys,
so they were just making out with chicks.
With a vacuum cleaner, you can do it.
I mean, I tried to give one to my arm,
one to myself one time.
Tell us, Dave.
What can you do? My buddy had a, I tried to give one on my arm and went to myself one time. Tell us, Dave. What can you do?
My buddy had a fan
that had a suction cup on it
so you could stick it on things
and just have a fan there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we thought it'd be funny
to stick this suction cup on our chest
and just have the fan
sticking out of our chest.
That's like a good Halloween costume.
Yeah, unfortunately,
what we didn't realize
is that the suction cup
was just breaking
all the blood vessels in our chest
and so I just had a round circle of broken blood vessels on my chest.
You were cupping.
Essentially, I was early on cupping.
You were a ground floor cupper.
Yeah, but when I was eight years old and I went to go tubing with my uncle and I took my shirt off and he asked,
why do you have a giant circle on your chest?
It was kind of a weird answer.
What's the science behind cupping
and how does it benefit you?
I think cupping is something people solely do
to show that they have enough money to do cupping.
Or it's like, hey, I'm a fitness person.
I cup.
Okay, cool.
Cupping.
I don't know.
It's like everybody saw that video like 15 years ago
and the next thing you know, everybody's cupping.
Stop it.
And it doesn't make its way in this conversation.
Stop it.
It's a form of alternative medicine, Dylan, in which a local suction is created on the skin with the application of heated cups.
It's a practice mainly occurs in Asia, but also Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Latin America.
And Lifetime Austin.
Do people cup there?
Yeah.
Dylan, I think that you might need to try cupping for your back and your neck issues.
I still don't know what benefit it has.
Can I read a little something here?
Sure.
There is insufficient evidence it has any health benefits, and there are some risks of harm, especially from wet cupping and fire cupping.
Okay.
So it's a big scam.
So don't wet cup.
Damn, that cupping was fire.
Remember during the Olympics, the swimmers all had the bruises on their backs?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's just a flex.
I think it's just solely to flex on people.
Yeah.
I can try alternative medicines because I have enough money
in my bank account.
I still want to try a float tank.
Me too.
Let's go do that.
The float tank near my old apartment
shut down the day
that I went to go do it.
Literally walked there.
The sensory deprivation tanks.
Deprivation?
No sensories.
There it is.
Cool Adam.
That was a layup.
Cool Adam would like that a lot. Pretty good. Yeah Cool Adam. That was a layup. Cool Adam liked that a lot.
Pretty good.
Yeah, dude.
I'm down a cup.
Let's be cup boys.
Two guys that want to share a cup.
Hey, spell I cup.
I can't do it, dude.
Do it.
No, dude.
Just do it.
Please do it.
I see you pee.
Dude, stop.
You can't say that to me.
Not him.
I'll freak out.
Will's in the stall. I just want to watch you pee dude so we're at the rolling stones concert and and i did something but
you know remember when i told you guys that i had to like pee really bad recently before the f1 race
and then i or i had to pee the entire f1 race because i over hydrated before i got there
well i under hydrated before the rolling stones concert and i never had to pee until we left
and so i went behind this like trailer thing in the parking lot and started to pee,
and these people started walking up, and I almost killed them.
I was like, get the fuck out of here.
This is my pee spot.
You can't be here right now.
It's pee time, baby.
I freaked out.
I shut my eyes, and I just tried to get zen, and finally I peed.
You found your place?
Yeah.
It was dire, though.
I'm sorry you have that condition, man. That's got to be tough. It was dire, though. I'm sorry you have that condition, man.
That's got to be tough.
You opened your third eye.
I'm being sincere.
Don't you talk to my therapist about this?
I don't know, man.
I'm going to holler at her this week and be like, yo.
You're going to say, yo.
Yeah, I've got this pee thing.
Yeah, I'm having trouble peeing lately.
She's going to be like, all right, have you seen a urologist? I do got this pee thing. Yeah, I'm having trouble peeing lately. All right, have you seen like a urologist?
I do something very different here.
No, no, it's kind of like a phobia.
It is a phobia, right?
No, I don't know if I'm scared.
It's more of a frustration at this point.
Weenophobia.
Frustration.
Frustration.
No peeing.
Exactly.
There you go.
Twice in a matter of minutes.
You stole that from me, man.
You swiped it.
I tried.
Got any swaps?
Hey, yesterday we released our voicemails on a Tuesday, even though it's supposed to
be on a Friday.
That's on a Thursday.
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
Nobody is out here grinding through Thanksgiving week like us.
Yeah.
We're out here talking into mics.
We're not going to grind as hard next Thanksgiving week, I don't think.
No.
I think we're going to take a couple days off.
Are we really?
Let me know.
We'll make a tee time.
Yeah, make a tee time.
There's been, like, this came in yesterday, came in today, said the same thing.
Like, eh, it would have been cool just to be playing golf in this.
Yeah, we need to remember how perfect the weather's been this past couple days
and just take this week off next year.
Prime golf weather, sitting here with this windowless room,
talking to you idiots.
Got a cool Adam producing.
Dude, we're doing what everyone wants to do, though,
on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving,
and that's go to the studio and record a podcast about The Bachelorette.
Mm-hmm.
If you're listening on Wednesday morning,
it's going to be live after this episode.
Also, it's holiday season, baby.
Go check out Do You Even Burn on VeloBox.
VeloBox.com slash circling dash back.
Also, our Roback collaboration is live.
Roback.com slash washed.
Some other merch on the horizons as well.
Go rate and review.
But most of all, check out our sponsors from this episode.
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This is one of those sponsors that we all definitely used way before they came on board.
Yeah, when I was trying to get in the game,
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I'm trying to holler at my wallet like 10 times a day.
I'm trying to be better about not looking at it so much, but it's very difficult.
It's so hard not to.
I have four on my watch list.
You know what they are?
Yeah.
Bitcoin.
Ethereum.
Dogecoin.
And Cumrocket.
Shouts.
Cummies.
Major shouts to all of those.
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Will, I've got some breaking news.
What's up?
This is about Jason Garrett.
That too, he was fired.
Was he just de-coordinated for Giants?
Or offensive coordinator, whatever.
Not anymore.
The fact that I even knew he was on Giants, I think everyone should applaud me right now.
Will, I'm going to diagnose you with peruricis.
Okay.
A person with peruricis, also known as shy bladder syndrome, finds it difficult or impossible to urinate, P in parentheses, thank you, when other people are around.
Believed to be a common type of social phobia, ranking second only to the fear of public speaking.
So, you know what, Will?
A lot of people suffer from that.
Fairly common.
You're kind of like a pioneer of speaking out of your fear.
What's it called again?
The fact that I'm willing to publicly speak about my fear just shows that I'm different.
You really have become a man.
What's your...
I have the misophonia.
He's got the pee thing.
What's misophonia again?
The sound of mouth, like, chewing and...
Peru.
Smacking.
P-A-R-U-R-E-S-I-S.
All-time bad name.
It's, like, rural.
But Peru is this.
Were you asking what my phobia is?
Just a number of things.
Germs.
Oh, yeah.
You're a germ dude correct
yeah but not dude that's so like lame now everyone's that now yeah i know but i people
kind of appropriated my my phobia you got you got phobia cucked i did i have a few phobias actually
what are you willing to talk about them? Height. Terrified of heights.
Public speaking to some degree.
I think I'd be more comfortable now
that I talk for a living. I used to be
not afraid of public speaking, but I certainly
did not like it. But ever
since we started this, if someone
hands me a mic at something, I'm definitely
down to just go up and do it. An enviable
skill, man. That's a great one to have.
Given what you've said about
Northern Europeans and Eastern Europeans,
a little xenophobia.
Just kidding.
Dylan loves the Northern
Europeans. I love all folks.
Go on record right now and say that you stay in the Northern
European folk. I stay in
Northern Europeans. Dude, I do too.
Hey, if you're
American and you go in a bathroom what do you
when you're in the bathroom um all right all right i already fucked it dude you killed that
european this is a good podcast you guys don't realize it yet but it's good if you guys think
you're in mail-in mode to listen to this at your job right now then we are we are right there with
you yeah i'm fried um i'm defried i'm toast right now do you see are right there with you. Yeah, I'm fried. I'm defried.
I'm toast right now.
Did you see the No Laying Up episode
for Kingsley Club in Michigan?
The dude's name was DeVries with a V.
You shitting me?
He's throwing me off the entire time.
I would have loved to...
No, we have different last names.
Okay.
Yeah.
You never know.
Sometimes it gets changed after...
That's facts. Happened to changed after. That's facts.
Happened to my family.
That's facts.
Say.
Are you formerly the Ruffinos?
My mom's family, the Marinos, they changed the A to an E for some reason.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So it was like Dan Marino.
It's just M-E-R-I.
One of the greatest to never win a Super Bowl.
It just seems like a dude who has just done it right.
Other than the not winning a Super Bowl thing. It just seems like a dude who has just done it right. Other than the not winning a Super Bowl thing.
It just seems like he's having fun.
Plus, he got kidnapped that time
right after some people kidnapped the Dolphin.
Yeah.
Remember that?
Yeah, I do remember that.
That was weird.
Dude, Dan Marino's kind of tight.
Why would they just kidnap a Dolphin like that?
And then a quarterback.
He was sneaky hot.
Not even sneaky.
He was just like a playboy, wasn't he? He has swag, had swag he has drip like i'm kind of jealous of damn arena was he a weapon in miami
he had a he had a cannon too i don't know about that his arm that is okay yeah
he had a pete davidson i probably had a 60 yard bombs i probably had a... 60-yard bombs? I probably had an SI for kids
Dan Marino poster
up in my room
at some point.
Why is that photo
of him with a mask?
Dude, I used to just get...
You would have remembered
a Dan Marino poster
in your room.
I used to get just
an SI for kids
and just grab...
I had a David Robinson
poster in my room
because it was
an SI for kids.
Dopest sports posters
of all time.
What are they?
Michael Jordan.
MJ. Yeah, MJ had one where he was dunking. That's on posters of all time. What are they? Michael Jordan.
MJ.
Yeah, MJ had one where he was dunking.
That's on the Mount Rushmore. And there's a black background.
Are we all thinking of that one?
I believe so.
He's doing the Jordan pose, black background,
and then there's a bunch of laser-looking things,
like waves coming off of him.
I had that one in my room, and I think it was an iconic one.
There's a Bo Jackson poster that definitely belongs on the Mount Rushmore.
Which one is it?
I don't know.
Have fatheads got completely rendered sports posters useless now?
Oh, yeah.
The Bo Jackson where he's got the shoulder pads on and the baseball bat over his shoulders,
and it's black and white, and he's looking all shredded.
That is definitely up there.
Now all these kids and their NFTs, you know?
Oh, my gosh.
Do they even know what a poster is?
Dude, every time I see an NFT, I just right-click, save, and then I own it for free.
It's been very popular.
That's the thing.
Oh, Ali.
Ali over Sonny Liston.
Yeah, that's a big one.
I don't even think that's a sports poster.
That's just more iconic that people just have.
That's a great one.
That's a good one.
Dope.
This is a good Bo Jackson one, the black and blue.
Uh-huh.
You know what else?
The Mound
of Cocaine with
Tony Montana.
It's just him just sitting there.
You immediately put it up in your
dorm room. We moved in
early high school.
In between moving, we lived in this cottage that had only one bedroom in it.
You lived in a cottage.
It was a cottage.
And it had one bedroom in it, which was my parents' bedroom.
And then there was another room attached to the garage, which was a little walk from the house.
So I had my own little garage apartment when I was like 16.
so I had my own little garage apartment when I was like 16
and for some
because I was a douche bag
I put up the giant
I put up a six foot tall
Tony Montana poster
in that side room.
Dude the world is yours.
Yeah I truly felt like
the world was mine at that point.
It was really swag though
to be 16 years old
and have my own garage apartment.
What about the Bluto one
where he's chugging the Jack Daniels?
That's a good one.
I never went down that route.
I had one of those in college.
A lot of people did.
Yeah.
I was a douchebag, too.
You know, I'll just say, there's a lot of good posters out there.
Should we bring back posters?
I don't think so.
We're adults.
You remember when I put you on a poster in that one-on-one game?
No.
What happened?
I just absolutely just took you to the rack and threw it down on you and won.
I don't remember that.
It was a while back.
Back when you could throw down?
Yeah, back before I hurt my lower back or whatever.
I'm more of a shit poster now. Epic.
Dude, what's your burner, bro?
Do you guys have burners?
No.
No.
I have one burner. Do you really? Yeah. What do you do with burners? No. No. I have one burner.
Do you really?
Yeah.
What do you do with it?
Not telling.
I'm not even going to tell you what platform it's on.
Are you the one who doxxed me recently?
I didn't doxx you.
I doxxed him.
I have been before, though.
Doxxed?
Like people showed up at your crib?
Some shithead.
One of these fuckers.
This was back in the TFM days
and, you know,
that crowd was
mentally just
not in a good place.
Most of them.
Some of them.
Most of them.
He found out
where I lived
and
like posted like
the Google
like street view
of my house on Twitter
and like
with my address
and all that shit.
It was a dark experience.
Did not like that at all.
Said some really ugly things about my wife at the time.
It was just weird.
I'm sure you guys are doing well.
This was a fun podcast.
Let's get back on the fun track.
I just pulled up TotalFratMove.com.
You never heard of it?
It's a frat blog.
The iconic Rocky running up the steps poster.
I had a Griffey Jr.
Ooh, Griffey was a good one.
The best swing in the world.
Come on.
I would say him or Julio Franco.
The worst swing. No, I'm a Bobby Bonillaio Franco. The worst swing.
No, I'm a Bobby Bonilla guy.
Gary Sheffield.
Dude, Gary Sheffield was an absolute.
There were some, I think that like Griffey, Jordan,
two of the people we just named for those,
those guys transcended the sport so much more that we'd like,
I didn't feel even a shred of guilt cheering for them.
Man.
No, no, I think that's fair,
especially when your team, like my team, was really bad back then.
Griffey had some cool posters.
Oh, I think I had this one.
Kid Dynamite.
I know y'all can't see this.
I'm sorry.
I don't know why we're doing this.
We're just taking a stroll down the fucking lane.
We just Googled best sports posters. I'm sorry. I don't know why we're doing this. We're just taking a stroll down the fucking lane. We just Googled
best sports posters.
I literally did.
I did too.
Here's a metal poster
of balling Albert Einstein.
Okay.
What age are you
too old for posters
and you have to like
transition into like
framing stuff?
The second you get
out of college.
The second you get out of college the second you get out of
college yeah like like i can't stress this enough what about your man second you get out of college
what if you have a man cave so you know what that is you familiar with the man cave well i've been
trying to figure out for men it's like saturday and they're all at all times in this cave it's
always saturday i don't know like i don't know. I have my new home
office that I've really been
quite lazy about putting together
and I'm really gun-shy about what I'm allowed to put
on the wall.
Sally never uses that room for anything, so does
that give me free reign to put whatever I want on a wall?
If it's your office.
I want to get some old skateboard decks from
when we were really deep in the skate game.
Some real retro ones and toss them up on the wall.
Bolt them to the wall.
Some bolt-ons?
Skateboard deck.
The board.
The actual board.
Yeah.
But I want to get ones from when I actually enjoyed it so that I can just have that nostalgic flashback.
That would be cool.
If you find the Alien Workshop Believe board, let me know because I would like one as well.
My first ever board was Flip. skateboard there was a it was a little flip it was uh there was a sun on it
do you know who little flip is well he's a rapper there you go he raps
damn griffey was so tight fuck i've been watching so many skate films lately. That's why I tweeted out that Owen Wilson clip that has now gotten like 100,000 views.
I accidentally tweeted it out the day before his birthday, and I think that's why it caught steam.
That's an incredible clip.
I thought that's why you tweeted it out.
No.
I tweeted it out the day before, and then the next day everyone's like, happy 53rd birthday, Owen Wilson.
Wow.
And I think people were just looking at Owen Wilson tweets, and mine was at the top of the pile because I did it the day before.
I love skating.
Wow.
Just the whole culture.
I don't know.
Everyone's biting my shit.
You know how that is.
Landed a heel flip.
I sat next to Luke at dinner the other night.
I've seen him around town a couple times.
He looks good. I've seen him at H a couple times He looks good
I've seen him at Hula Hut
He's a good looking dude
You saw him at Hula Hut?
Yeah
Why were you at Hula Hut?
Oh, this was probably 10 years ago
Why didn't you invite me?
I live right next door
Oh, look at him backtracking
He was there a couple nights ago and didn't call you
Did you hit those Polynesian fajitas?
I think I got the tubular taco
Dude, the tubular taco is way too tubular at this point
What's the meat in that?
I don't know.
Tube steak?
Dude, it's so big.
It's 12 inches long.
Okay.
No, it's bigger than that.
It's like 24 inches long.
So we're in Davidson, Terry.
So big.
I ordered one to go one time, and they couldn't fit it into a normal to-go container.
They put it in like a giant platter thing that you would serve like a giant casserole in at like a food shelter.
It's too big.
It was huge.
It's like a whole family can feast on that thing.
The whole squad enjoying.
The whole squad.
I mean, it's a tubular taco.
Dave, look how big this thing is.
That plate is like 16 inches long.
That's a burrito.
Yeah.
I don't know why they don't just call it a burrito.
It's tubular.
It does look good.
However, with my limited interactions at Hula Hut,
the first one I had was good.
The second one I had, I can confirm, was certified trash.
They also still have the sign up on the side of the building that says,
Sark, come eat here.
And I don't know if people are wanting Sark to go eat at their restaurant anymore.
He needs to feel some love from somewhere at this point.
Yeah.
He's probably going through it right now.
Is he getting a lot of heat?
He'll touch the spot.
It's a tough Thanksgiving.
I feel like the team itself is getting more heat than him.
Oh, he's getting heat.
No, he's getting the heat.
He's getting heat.
Oh, yeah.
I tune it all out.
That's the move.
Yeah, that's nice of a restaurant to embrace the new head coach who's struggling.
I don't know if Hula Hut's the restaurant you're looking for.
You're kind of hoping for maybe a bump up.
Bob's.
Matt's whole retro.
Matt's whole retro.
Yeah.
Maudie's.
No, no.
Let's not scrape the bottom of the barrel right now.
What's the El Royo who has the bottom of the barrel right now.
Who has the funny sign?
That place stinks.
The food there is legitimately bad, and I'm sorry.
They do the viral signs.
Their sign game, very strong.
Their food game, mid.
When we first moved to Austin, that was one of the first places we went
because I think it's in a Pat Green song,
and also it was down the street from us i like texas would you that's the song you crushed that if you could
have one restaurant in austin name one meal after you what would it what restaurant would it be and
what would that meal be can't be a grilled cheese don nope no grilled cheeses um it'll be. Can't be a grilled cheese, Dylan. Nope, no grilled cheeses.
It might be Matt's El Rancho just because it's our spot.
It would be sick to sit down every single time
at Matt's El Rancho and see your name on the menu.
And everyone goes there.
Everyone. Who's that?
It's our Jimmy Johns. Our food's here.
Why did it come here so fast?
Say it.
Freaky Fast? Dude, What? Freaky Fast?
Yeah.
Dude, it was Freaky Fast.
Adam, hit him with that 20%.
You just want everyone to know that you're a good tipper.
Yeah.
I put that on the company just to be clear.
I probably would have done 30, honestly.
Should we just give him like $1,000?
No, we shouldn't do that.
It is the season, almost, kind of.
It's Thanksgiving week.
It's true.
We are giving thanks.
I don't know what's going on over here.
Why are we whispering so much?
They're having a full-on conversation.
They're laughing.
Are they making fun of us?
Should we just put him on the mic?
Does he want in?
Adam, what happened?
I just couldn't do
the math of the tip.
Oh, college guy.
Adam couldn't do
the tip math.
That shows you
that shows that you've
never been a waiter
anywhere.
Like adding a tip
to something breaks
Sally's brain
and I can do it
immediately because
as a former waiter
I can just look at him
and be like,
that's a shitty tip.
What is the little trick
Alyssa's always telling me
because she can see
I'm struggling.
She's like, just divide it and there shitty tip. What is the little trick Alyssa's always telling me? Because she can see I'm struggling. She's like, just divide it.
There's something.
Just move the decimal point over one and double it.
It's easy.
That's the move.
Yeah.
And for all those people out there like, no, you don't tip on tax.
You tip on tax.
Cheapos.
Do people not tip on tax?
Some people don't tip on tax.
And I will say this.
Tip on tax.
You tip on tax.
Jerks.
Big old jerks.
You got to support the service industry, you know?
First responders, service industry, we support y'all.
We do.
Listeners.
What about Northern Europeans, Dylan?
Of course, my friends in Northern Europe.
Dylan just despises you.
I love the Finns.
Dylan touches down in Finland once and just gets beaten to a pulp.
Don't even get him started on the Danes.
Oh, come on.
He fucking hates the Danes.
Hates Hrothgar. Man, there's. He fucking hates the Danes. Hates Hothgar.
Man, there's a lot of people out there that are, like, traveling and stuff.
You know, you might call them, I don't know, nomads.
Yeah, I think you can.
I like a good, actually, you know what I have right now on me?
You know what I have, you dumb idiot?
I didn't mean to call you that, man.
I'm not a dumb idiot.
You know what I have?
Is it a leather phone case
a premium leather um yeah i purchased so when i got my phone i purchased one from the same company
who makes my phone i won't say it on here no free ads you probably guessed though i immediately
replaced it with this one when they sent it to me because it is super dope and it has a it's just
sharp looking it's comfortable i freaking love. Something I've been keeping on me.
This charging cord.
Did you get one of these charging cords, Dylan?
Dude, I did.
Dude, the look on your face.
The look on your face.
Can we talk about the speed at which this thing charges?
Are you shitting me?
I don't have one of those.
Look how long this thing is, Dylan.
Look how long it is.
They sent them all to my house, and I got one of them. You can
charge that from next door.
I know. I know. Why is it so long?
I don't know. The cord itself
is one of the strongest cords I've ever seen.
Don't say it, David.
He's about to make a third Pete Davidson.
No, no. Didn't say a word.
If you're looking to upgrade
your phone game, your tech game, whatever game it may be, holler at Nomad.
Nomad uses leather from the Horween tannery in Chicago.
Everyone knows that's the best tannery in Chicago.
That's the only tannery I frequent.
Really?
Yeah.
Correct.
Whenever I go to Chicago, I go straight to Horween.
Tan your little ass.
The leather accessories develop a rich patina.
How's your patina going over there?
Dude, patina game, just crazy stupid.
I also have a matching AirPod case that's the same leather as this.
Can you imagine how dope I look just rolling around?
That is so drippy, dude.
It's mad drip.
If you just got a new iPhone 13 Apple Watch or you're thinking about getting one soon,
you should really check Nomad out.
They've got some great-looking cases and bands.
They've got an awesome rugged leather case, the one that Dylan's rocking right now.
Their cases also have 10-foot drop protection.
Dude, I pulled up to the bar the other
night. They were calling me Rick Patina.
Really? Yeah. They're like,
dude, championship. Really? That's what they were
saying. A few people. Not a
lot, but a couple. Wow.
Dude, they've
designed Apple Watch bands that look great in
any environment, from the boardroom to the discotheca.
It's crazy.
There it is.
They offer convenient wireless charging solutions for your home, office, and bedroom
with a suite of chargers for whatever mobile device you use,
as well as Apple Watch and AirPods.
And the crew at Nomad was tired of dealing with those flimsy charging cables,
and that's why they built that different cable that I just busted out of my bag.
You mean the one with the double-braided Kevlar outer sheath and strong metal
alloy connector?
My sheath.
My sheath.
Okay.
Dude, they've been engineered for extreme durability and heavy everyday use.
The Leather Nomad case, or they even smell amazing.
Tell you this much, with a baby around who likes to grab everything, having that
heavy duty cable is ideal.
around who likes to grab everything, having that heavy-duty cable, it's ideal.
Check out Nomad at nomadgoods.com slash steam to see what living the nomad life is all about.
That's N-O-M-A-D-G-O-O-D-S dot com slash steam.
Nomadgoods.com slash steam, baby.
Remember the first time I went to Fenway and saw Nomad?
Nomad.
Okay, Rick Pitino.
I hate you so much.
Dude, that's going to end up in one of their commercials or whatever.
That was a pretty short-lived nickname, though.
This guy's got dope Pitino.
Why?
Only lasted about, like, what, 45 seconds? Okay, this is good.
Wow.
Very cool.
If you don't like Rick Pitino, get out of here.
He didn't do anything cancelable lately, did he?
I like having
my head basketball
coach look like he's killed people in the past.
Wow, that's a slight against
Italians. No, it's just Patino.
He's got some darkness in those eyes.
He's scary. No, you're saying he's got
a mafia thing. Are you saying he's got butthole eyes?
Yeah, he might have some butthole eyes.
Never go against the family.
That's really good.
Dude, Europeans are just taking strays during this episode.
Yeah, what's your issue with our friends in Europe?
Maybe we should stop insulting our friends in Europe,
and maybe we give some thanks back to the people.
Are you guys ready for the thank bank?
Thank you to all Europeans for just being real ones.
People forget I was born there.
No one forgets.
I remember that often.
Do you ever just think about it?
Yeah, you're just a Bundesliga guy.
It is interesting to me.
It's cool.
It's a cool, fun fact about my friend David.
It's very fun.
Where were you born?
What hospital, bitch?
I was born in Seton Hospital right here in Austin, Texas.
So was Bay, by the way.
Okay.
We're hospital twins.
Wow, just like Randy when he ran into that dude at dinner, our waiter.
Yep.
Very cool.
I was born in Petoskey, Michigan.
Don't care.
Cool.
Let's run it back to a segment that we haven't done in literal years.
Ooh, the think bank.
We haven't done this recently, have we?
I don't remember. No, we teased it we i think we did it the last time i remember doing this we were in
the old grand x studio with micah producing at his taco bar were we not thankful last year during
thanksgiving no we kind of got in our bag last year forgot to be thankful we kind of yeah we
got a little too big for our britches we were too busy just grinding i think to be thankful
dude just just working that Thanksgiving week.
Working that thing like, who's the ish?
Look in the light, so devilish.
He's doing thong song right now.
The thong song. The hip hop spots.
Let me see that bank bank.
Oh, that's a good theme song for that.
That bank, the bank, bank, bank.
What is the bank bank?
I don't even remember this.
I think it's a place where we store our thanks.
Oh.
Yeah, we can dip into it whenever we want.
I think we're just expressing gratitude to everybody.
There's like a vault sound effect if you find the spooky season drops.
I thought those were like a spooky, creaky.
It was, but it could be a vault if you really like dispel belief.
Okay.
Pretend you're hitting it for the first time and it's a vault.
Okay.
Should we open up the vault for the first time?
It's that time, Will.
All right, it's open.
Wow, that sounds just like a vault.
Look at all the thanks.
What the fuck are you guys thankful for?
Thank, thank, thank, thank.
Are we going serious first or are we going joke first?
Like, what are we doing here?
What's the vibe?
I was just going to be real, man.
Oh, okay.
What are you thankful for, guys?
You go ahead.
If we're going to be serious, I have a lot to be thankful for.
It's been one hell of a year for your boy.
I am thankful.
I'm thankful for this company and these great employees.
Wow.
And my business partners.
Oh, man.
And even our intern.
I'm kidding.
He's great.
Look at Cool Adam.
Yo, I'm low-key very thankful for Cool Adam.
Let me tell you this about Cool Adam.
He came in here with the most – he got lined up.
He got faded up.
So hardcore.
And I'm like, dude, where did you go?
Like, obviously, you went to, like, a guy.
You have a barber who does this all the time.
And he's like, no, my buddy did it.
So he's got a buddy out here who's just –
He's going to head back to Allen for Thanksgiving
and just absolutely just set the place on fire with that haircut.
Normally in Allen, Texas, like Texas the people that kind of run it
they're football players. They're known for that.
Good football for them.
Not this year.
They got a little something coming to them.
You run into him at the Allen
Wild Wings, it's an
absolute problem. Keep your girl close.
So yes, I'm thankful for the interns
and the employees and all of Wash Media Nation.
Yeah, I'm very thankful additionally to the employees that we have here.
I'm also very thankful for the people that help behind the scenes.
You're Ricky Prosper's.
There you go.
You're Alfonso Ruiz's.
Alfonso.
Like, we got shooters everywhere.
We do.
Landry.
T. Boone Dickens.
Dude, major shot.
I'll be honest.
I don't even know who T. Boone Dickens is behind the scenes.
He's the realest in the game.
He cuts clips like a motherfucker.
He's a good clip cutter.
Landry.
Landry.
Cat Pat.
Cat Pat.
Hey, Cat Pat.
Cat Pat.
Thank Cat Pat as Christopher Walken, but you're doing it.
Cat Pat, thank you.
Wait, as what?
No, you're thanking her her but you've invited her
to buffalo wild wings to celebrate god pat i would like to extend an invitation buffalo wild wings
i'd like to thank you really christopher i didn't know you liked buffalo wild wings that much i
don't really what's your normal order there i go with the um wet rub or dry i'm a wet rub guy okay i like to dip it in ranch
uh-huh most people like buffaloes or uh blue cheese came out of character for a second yeah
it's uh it's it's a mental uh grind for me to stay in character as christopher walken
thank bang intern klein yeah yeah we need to thank him for just being a punching bag
For our last Patreon episode
He is an absolute occasional
Subject
On the pod
And he is doing just an A plus job
Planning a bachelor party
Even though we don't respond right away
To his text
I'm sorry
I just
Whatever Dylan wants, I cosign
Bachelor party, not anything else
Just bachelor parties
You're putting a lot of faith in Dylan right now
That's very kind of you, dude
I don't like your cupping stance
I'm thankful for you
You too, Will
I'm thankful that you're thankful for me
I'm glad you guys are funny and good at podcast guys. I'm thankful that you're thankful for me. Yeah, I guess I'm thankful for you guys.
I'm glad you guys are funny and good at podcasting, so I can just kind of ride your coattails.
I'm glad you're good at podcasting.
He's on my coattail.
Hey.
Got it.
Our listeners, they're like way the hell up there, if not number one.
They're number one, dog.
Some people have said they're the best in the listening game.
They are.
No one listens better and harder than our listeners.
We have the dopest listeners out there.
What?
I'm thankful for the person that fixed the pipe at my apartment.
Shouts to them.
But I sent an email to my landlord after he told me that they had fixed it,
and he said,
I believe properly functioning water pipes are capable of providing a little something called steam.
He's very aware of how much I take steam showers at this point.
I'm very thankful for my steam shower is what I'm getting to.
You're thankful for steam showers.
Yeah, very much.
Okay.
Very thankful to my entire immediate family for making it down to Austin, Texas for Thanksgiving
this year.
That's very nice.
We have not spent Thanksgiving together altogether in, I mean, I can't remember the last one.
Having the whole squad down here has been a very good time.
Can you tell the folks at home what uh what you sent uh dylan and i yesterday about pops dude
big my dad just he showed up and he just slammed down a giant giant bottle of gin hell yeah i was
like all right we're getting we're getting into one hell yeah let's ride i did make some uh
trademark uh three two one margaritas which you can read on postgradproblems.com.
It's a mica joint.
But they went off very well last night.
Hey, remember when your dad...
Is your dad going to drink all your good bourbon again?
Yeah, that was a miss on him.
Dude, he just went to town
on, like, was it Japanese whiskey?
Well, I was trying to tell him, like,
Dad, you're drinking a good bourbon
from my good friend Dave, who I'm thankful for.
And then he took that as me telling him not to drink it.
But I was happy he was drinking it.
Oh, I remember that time that we decided to get liquor together.
And Dave.
Are we talking about that?
Dave went rogue and just got liquor on his own and brought it to Will.
That was very cool of you to do.
You know what? I'm not thankful for you anymore.
You're taking back your thanks?
Thanks for reminding me about that. You're putting it back in the vault.
What a sorry move that was.
I know we're in the think bank.
I should set this aside.
We're in the think bank.
Dude, I was out and I was going to the liquor store
already because I'd be drinking.
I was like, I may as well grab Will's.
Right.
Grab my what?
Pipe.
I still have some of the bourbon that you bought me.
Good.
It's very good.
I hope you enjoy it.
Very happy with it.
Give a little bit to the fam for me.
It's very high proof.
Tell them Dave sent you.
It'll kick you in the mouth.
I want to make some mezcal Negronis this holiday season.
Trying to get some Negronis off? I freaking love them.
I know
I kind of included them in the
initial think bank.
I'll go Brett and Randy.
Brett,
I don't know how many
washed
media records he set this year, but I feel
like it was a number of them
as far as overall ad sales and everything.
Reddit has been crushing it, yeah.
Very thankful for his grind mentality, man.
I think he also set a record within ad results for the most complimentary ad reads.
What is he doing that we aren't?
That I'm not thankful for.
He's making me second guess every ad read that I've ever done.
I'll tell you what he's doing.
I'm not getting hollered.
His ad reads last 15 minutes long.
They're the longest ad reads in the game.
He loves his sponsors.
Yeah, he does.
But I'm out here.
I just want one email about how good our ad read was when Dylan was talking about cummies during Coinbase.
Yeah, are you allowed to do that?
I don't know.
Yeah, we might have to do a make good on that one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Can I just say I wasn't aware that you could buy Cumrocket on Coinbase.
You can't.
You can track it, though.
You can track it.
Yeah, because you can use it also as a resource in addition.
If you're keeping score at home, you can track your Cummies on Coinbase.
You can't acquire it there.
Keep a close eye on those Cummies, folks.
Okay.
And Randy, I mean, strong arm just into buying a drone.
I don't know if that's breaking news, but we got a drone now.
Who knows if we're actually going to use it, but we do have one.
Oh, we're using it.
I'm trying to use it as an excuse to have to go play golf, go play nine.
I'm like, dude, yeah, you just fly the drone around while I play golf.
That way, when I tell my wife, hey, I'm not going to be home for a while,
I'm doing content.
And just me and Randy at the course, y'all too, if y''all want to play i don't know if you play anymore you sold your clubs
no i'll play play on my bachelor party what'd you buy with the money that you sold your clubs for
nothing can i get a a sincere corny one out of the way sure uh very thankful for my fiancee britney
and her daughter lil bay um Bae. Future girl dad.
Our first date was in January of this year.
We're buying a house together.
We're engaged.
Yeah, they have changed my life in all the best ways.
So very, very thankful for that.
I guess I'm thankful for my wife and kid.
Yeah, I am too.
I'm thankful for mine.
I'm thankful for y'all's too.
Thankful for my little niece who I met this year.
I am thankful, Dave.
You and I did it this year.
We had kids.
They're healthy.
They're baller as hell.
I thought you were going to say bald as hell.
I was like, yeah.
Yeah, they're both a little bald.
They could both use a little hair on top.
It's coming in.
My sister showed up with my niece, and she's got a full head of blonde hair.
A little toe head over there.
How about that?
Yeah.
Very cool.
Like, what? Like, come on. I'm pretty hairy. I kind of thought
Fritz would pop out with a full beard. You're a hairy boy.
No, it's
only up here, though. From here? No, no, no.
Completely bald. He's an island
boy.
What if I took off my clothes
and I was just completely bald down everywhere?
Shaved legs, everything.
That'd be weird.
A weird sight.
Why?
I know a guy.
Okay.
Like he listens.
I know a guy from,
who's a,
he's a Bic razor guy on the bod.
All the way?
Oh, yeah.
That's too much, man.
It's fucking, dude,
that is an undertaking to do that without,
especially certain areas.
I need like Pete Davidson or someone to start shaving their armpits so I can get an excuse
to shave mine.
I need it to become en vogue.
Is it become...
Is the ladies not shaving their pits thing coming back?
I'll switch.
I'll switch the roles.
Couple in yoga, I noticed.
I'll switch the roles.
And you know what?
Mo Prower to you.
I would love to shave my armpits.
Nah.
Nah.
The hair doesn't need to be down there.
I used to trim my armpit hair because I was told that it would help with pit stains.
And I think it did.
Dude.
I think it does.
Yeah.
Because like the sweat drop like goes down the follicle onto the shirt.
Okay.
I'm just explaining.
I'm trying to help people.
It's a thank bank.
I think it just makes it hotter in there.
Everyone needs to thank us for us teaching them about the benefits of trimming your armpit hair.
I'm thankful for our sponsors, of which we have many.
Let's go through all of them and do an ad read.
A bonus ad read for each.
Thank you for the sponsors.
Adam, get the graphics up on the screen.
We're going to thank every single sponsor.
This is a little test for you, Adam.
The ad agencies who ship us this business.
It's fair.
All the middlemen out there.
Oh, now you're a middleman guy.
Yes, when it benefits the company.
I want to give a special shout out to all the mods out there that help us with your Reddits, your Discords, your things like that.
They organize this stuff because we are too old to know how to do that kind of thing.
And their pizza that they just let you build as you go down through the line.
My pizza.
Mod pizza. Oh, I get it. No one's doing mod pizza jokes. Cl you go down through the line. My pizza. Mod pizza.
Oh, I get it.
No one's doing Mod pizza jokes.
Closed down, by the way.
It did?
I believe so.
It's either closed down in the area that we used to go to or no one goes there.
It was very, very, very okay.
We would go.
There was a stretch where we would go and eat an entire pizza.
Because you just do as many toppings as you want.
It's all the same price.
I got like triple chicken on it.
I was trying to stack gains.
No, we were really. He's not kidding. I'm not kidding. He's not price. I got like triple chicken on it. I was trying to stack games. No, we were really.
He's not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
He's not kidding.
I went with Dan once.
Oh, that's a place for him.
I mean, Dan like cleaned them out.
That's probably why they're closed.
Thankful for, you know what?
Thankful for Dan.
Sure.
Dan, J-Bone, W.R. Bowen, all our friends from back in the day that are still grinding out tent.
Good content out there.
Yeah, I'm thankful that Grand X shut down and we got to do this.
Oh, I'm thankful for getting laid off big time.
One of the best things that ever happened to me.
Yeah.
Doing the Larry David.
I mean, career-wise, that is one of the best things that ever happened.
We definitely, yes.
I mean, going out on our own was beneficial.
I weirdly didn't have a moment of panic when I got laid off.
I was a little worried, of course.
That was a number of things.
This could be a very good thing, and it was.
I panicked when I quit because I didn't have a severance.
Luckily, we started a media company the next afternoon, so that helped me out.
I was worried about y'all.
I was worried about you and Ross, really.
Because y'all were both still there.
You're worried about the guys who kept their jobs.
Well, I was just like, because I knew, I was like, do they want to be there?
I'm like, that's, hell no.
I'm like, what is that like?
I get kind of sad when I go back and I look at the month of content that I published on PGP
between when you guys got laid off and when I quit.
And I'm like, man, that's the shittiest employee I've ever been.
November 14, 2018, I believe?
I don't know.
Was that shittier than when you woke up at 3 and your manager thought you died?
Yes.
That was somehow shittier.
The body of work that I did between November that year and January was just ugly.
I'm about to find the date.
That's about it.
Nobody else?
No.
Oh, you know what?
I'm going to go personal, too.
I want to thank the Central Texas Animal Hospital.
Oh.
Oh.
Actually located right behind the scene of my latest
tiktok or my only tiktok um oh that's where you went it's right behind yeah dude they helped rosie
out one time oh yeah i was using work there really yeah they're there were fantastic with randy like
the vet shout out dr corzad um you You know, we didn't know what was up.
And honestly, like there was a few days there where it was like bad, bad.
We didn't know if he was going to recover.
Anyway, so he was there for a week.
And you know what?
They were always very, very friendly.
The techs, it's cool when you go somewhere like that
and you see that all the people working there really love animals.
Yeah. And it's like, and go somewhere like that and you see that all the people working there really love animals. Yeah.
And Randy would go crazy.
When we went back for his blood test a week after he got released, he couldn't wait to go in there.
It's like, dude, Randy, you don't want to be here.
Yeah, I'm like, dude, normally I thought I'd have to pull him out of the car.
And he was going up to all the vet techs, like, what's up, remember me?
I'm the guy who was peeing everywhere. The bladder thing.
The kidney thing.
But yeah, shout out.
Big shout out to all the vet techs and veterinarians.
Dude, you trying to holler at Dr. Rob right now?
The ATX Animal Clinic?
I'm thankful for Dr. Rob, sure.
Shout out to all the vets out there.
Yeah, knock on wood. Stella's been a very good vet.
Both animal doctors and veterans serving in the military or former veterans.
What's up with Stella?
No, nothing.
I was going to say, thankful she's been a very healthy pup up to this point.
Oh.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Me too.
Well, yeah.
When you eat that much of a diet of tube steak, it...
I don't feed my dog tube steak.
You don't?
You don't?
You just eat it all yourself?
I thought you ground it up yourself.
It was November 14th, by the way.
350 comments on my Instagram post.
At D. Chivary.
How many comments?
350.
Did you tag at DC Ruff on Instagram?
At D. Carter Ruff on Twitter?
Let's see.
David Ruff on LinkedIn.
I tagged Will, Micah, and Dave.
Micah.
Didn't I have a scar on my face from scoping myself?
Yes, and I had a brace on my knee from breaking my leg
we were down they fired you guys because you guys were a liability to the health care plan
it was like shit we were jobless and injured but we were in good spirits
very cool let's hear from a sponsor you guys saw some real thick booties on the timeline the other
day of dave and d Dylan with their new belts on.
It's been hard for you guys to keep your pants up lately with the gains that you're making on your lower torso parts.
Okay.
You can just get to the belts if you want.
What?
Are you talking about the ones that combine the craftsmanship and world-class leather from Argentina with the creativity and personality of Austin, Texas?
Sounds a lot like Zilker belts to me.
You mean the people who provide a one-of-a-kind addition to your wardrobe?
Yeah, I think we're talking about Zilker belts real quick.
I now wear these every day.
I have two now.
Freaking love them.
I'm wearing one right now, actually.
You want to see?
Yeah.
Toss that booty out there.
Let's see this thing.
Here comes a booty.
Hold on.
Let's see.
One sec.
Let's get that cake.
Everything is cake.
Oh, that's a good-looking one.
Yeah, I think so.
Is that all?
That's leather?
Hey, drop it to the leather.
Drop it like it's hot.
We're going to have to do another make good for this one.
We're doing a free episode next month.
No one's dropping it that low in a Zilker belt.
Next time, I'm going to put it down, flip it, and reverse it.
When I first moved down to Austin, I kept on seeing these belts,
and I was like, dude, these belts are pretty sick.
I need one of these.
And I finally acquired one.
I started to see them everywhere,
not knowing what brand they were or where they were from.
And then I found out.
They're high quality.
They smell amazing.
Handmade.
You make them with your hands?
Handmade.
Yeah, they actually told us about the process.
They take the leather, they stamp out the holes,
and then someone will, with a needle and thread,
just sew them all together.
Pretty sick.
Pretty sick is what I'm saying.
Also do dog collars that are very dope.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Made the same way.
Yes.
Something to think about, Dylan.
I know Stella's been asking.
I think they are soon launching watch bands, too.
Oh, that's a good idea.
I think they are.
Dylan, you got the ACL. I do have the bands, too. Oh, that's a good idea. I think they are. Dylan, you got the ACL.
I do have the ACL, yes.
I got the Verde that is dedicated to the Austin FC Verde.
Dave, do you know what yours is called?
I think it's the Cowboy.
Come on, man.
Cowboy.
Always a place for you at the saloon.
Ooh.
I bought one as a gift.
I won't say who it's for because this person might be listening,
but I got the Antones for somebody.
I know who it is.
Is it Parks?
Don't tell them.
No.
It's not Parks.
But this person is going to be pretty happy.
Is it for Fritz?
No, shut up.
What'd you get Fritz for?
Baby belts would be tight.
If they make it, I would love to put roads in one.
You know, I like that baby belt.
I got him a punching bag.
Really?
That's so sick.
Trying to get those hands right, you know?
Get your belt game up this holiday season.
Go to zilkerbelts.com and use promo code BACKER at checkout
for 20% off anything on this site from today through the end of November.
Again, that's promo code BACKER at zilkerbelts.com
for 20% off anything on the site.
Hey, I don't know how big the Zilkerbelts are in other towns.
I know they're big in Dallas and Houston.
It's Austin Company.
I think they run the same size in every town.
Huh?
You said how big they are.
They run the same size.
I don't know.
I'm trying to say, if you're like us, you could be ground floor Zilkerbelts if you're
in Niagara Falls or whatever, and you show up wearing a Zilkerbelt, people are like,
what the fuck?
Dude, you're in Asheville, North Carolina right now, and you get a Zilker belt?
You're going to be absolutely on one.
It's an absolute scene.
You're in Fayetteville, Arkansas, don't you?
Oh, my gosh.
Fayetteville.
Columbus, Ohio.
Let's hear some other towns.
A number of cities.
What if you're on a road outside Columbus, Ohio?
Ooh, ooh.
Jacksonville.
It's the largest city in the lower 48 by landmass.
What about J-Hole?
J-Hole, they're just fiending for us.
I feel like J-Hole's got a lot of Zilker Bells walking around.
J-Hole's got Zilker Bells.
You think so?
Yeah, that's a drippy city.
That's a drippy city.
Flits off that vine.
Okay, all right.
For sure.
For sure.
Now let's get to what everybody tuned in for.
Yeah, Dave, can you explain the next segment?
Headline, BuzzFeed News.
Will Smith revealed he once developed a psychosomatic reaction to orgasms
after engaging in rampant sexual intercourse.
We've all been there.
This is all in response to him being his high school girlfriend
running around on him while he was on tour, on a quick music tour.
Was he doing stuff that early?
It said that when he was 16, so he was doing music in some capacity.
Is that when he did Big Willie style?
No, this is probably the Parents Just Don't Understand era.
Maybe Summertime.
Summertime, all-time summer song.
Welcome to Miami?
Way later.
You're so late on this.
You're very late.
I don't think your catalog, Will Smith, goes back.
What's that Western one he did? Wild Wild West? What about Wild Wild West? Way later. You're so late on this. You're very late. I don't think your catalog will smash your back.
What's that Western one he did?
Wild Wild West?
What about Wild Wild West?
Jim West, Desperado, Rough Rider.
Didn't he turn down a movie
to do Wild Wild West?
What was it?
He turned down The Matrix
to do Wild Wild West.
So this is like when he did that...
Whoa, what a mistake.
You think he wants that one back? this is like when he did that movie with
the aliens no dude this is like 1988 oh so this is like when he did um when he was that boxer
how is your will smith timeline this bad is this it's bad with you you i don't know if you are
i don't know what to tell you bud looking for's looking for a fresh prince, dog Didn't he say you'd start gagging whenever you would, you know
Yeah, let's get
Let's get the meat of Will Smith's orgasm real quick
He doesn't cuss in his rap songs, David
You gotta respect that
Well, I do, so F him and F you too
That's not a cuss word
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me
Wow
Let alone stan me.
But Slim, what did you... Hey, Doja Cat got that best album nod.
That's sick.
Did she really?
Yeah, I think I might start dipping into some Doja Cat.
Can you get her on Coinbase?
The only Doja I know about is that kind that I smoke.
It's really sticky.
This is not a good podcast anymore.
You've ruined it.
Compromise the pod.
We need Thanksgiving break worse than we realized.
I want to go back to the Think Bank.
Yeah, this was sad because, like, yeah, he was sad about that.
But then just the flex, the way this is being framed on Twitter is like,
this guy had so much sex he just was grossed out by.
He couldn't.
He just, the thought of him having a C just made him gag.
Yeah.
He could have stopped.
Yeah, you don't have to have sex with all these groupies.
Just stop having sex if it's grossing you out.
I hollered at some Just the Two of Us with Fritz the other day when he was getting a bath.
Just the two of us.
Not going to lie, I used to call into TRL to request that song all the time.
Now that I'm listening to it with my son, it's just really come full circle.
I bet you cry when you listen to it, don't you?
I got a little misty, not going to lie.
Just the two of us.
Dylan, what you've done to this pod makes me want to ask this question.
Will you all be mad if I go over there and sit out the rest of the pod and eat my sandwich? to this pod makes me want to ask this question. Will y'all be mad if I go over there
and just sit out the rest of the pod
and eat my sandwich?
I've been wanting you to do that this whole time.
Dude, those subs got here so fast,
I almost freaked.
Yeah, it was pretty freaky.
Can't believe Adam didn't put them in the fridge.
We don't want that.
We don't want that.
Do you think you ever hooked up with Tyra Banks
when they were on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air together?
She was so fun.
Just the two of us.
Tyra is the...
She's now hosting Dancing with the Stars, right?
Really?
Amon Shumpert won.
Did he beat Cody Rigsby?
Yeah, Cody went out fairly quick.
No, he didn't.
Oh, he didn't?
No, I think he was actually in the finals.
Okay.
Shout out out Cody.
Tyler Banks is so dramatic on every television show she's on.
Well, her tank really, or her stock really tanked.
There was a swimsuit issue where she was on the cover.
I remember.
You want to look it up?
Red and white polka dot, I believe.
Oh, exactly what you're talking about.
Really blurry background of a beach.
It's disgusting how much I can recall swimsuit issue
covers from that time period in my life.
Oh, yeah. She redid it.
She redid it in 2019, and it's
just as good.
How'd this get so age real quick?
I don't know. It's weird talking about Will Smith's orgasm
suddenly sent us to the horny cake. Well, he kind of
sent us down that road. This is my fault, though.
And I apologize.
Did you see his daughter's tweet the other day?
Two of us. No.
Willow Smith had a really bad tweet.
She whipped her hair back and forth. That's the thing about her.
I don't know the context of this
quote, but it says, I started to wonder
if this was a competition. Either way, as far
as I was concerned, there were only two
possibilities. One, I was going to satisfy
this woman sexually, or two,
I was going to die trying woman sexually. Or two, I was going to die trying.
Wow.
That's my mentality every time.
Or die trying.
Get C or die trying.
Okay, November 15th, Willow Smith tweeted,
I am convinced I am simply not cut out for regular human life.
Okay.
I have that thought.
Everyone responded to her and they were like,
someone just responded with Will Smith's house and was like,
oh yeah, this is regular human life in this giant compound in
Malibu. Must be hard.
Must be tough, Willow.
They've kind of taken on a
they've taken like a Kanye-esque turn.
Who, the Smith
family? Not all of them, but like
the Jaden family. It's definitely
unique, you know. Well, Jada had a
brief period where she like didn't deny being a Scientologist, even though she wasn't.
And it was like, wait, what's up?
What's up with you?
Didn't she cheat on him?
What happened there?
Correct.
I think that quote I just read might have been referring to that.
Don't do Will like that.
Whatever.
Maybe they had agreement.
Who knows?
Whip your hair back and forth is a good song
i'll say it you're a big jayden guy i whip my hair back and forth i whip my hair back and forth
you know that one stop i'm seriously gonna eat i'm gonna eat not only my sandwich i'm gonna eat
yours had the whole squad whipping their hair back and forth back when that came out what'd
you hit him with today david i eat your sandwich i. I eat it up. I eat your Italian nightclub.
That's what I went with.
I bet there's onions on there.
Jaden? I got bad news.
There's onions on your sandwich, for sure.
Jaden Smith?
Welcome to Earth!
He capitalizes the first word of every...
Wait, yeah, the first letter
of every word. Is that him?
Yeah.
Would you rather him do that,
or would you rather read tweets from Cam Newton in his text?
I would read...
Oh, my gosh.
The Cam Newton one just makes...
Gives me a headache.
Yeah, Jaden still does that.
Does he have someone in his entourage
that just scripts his tweets?
Like, he thinks of the tweets,
and then he's like,
all right, go format that shit.
See you in 20 minutes.
You had to think so.
It's ridiculous. what are your give me
your top three will smith movies not just movies no tv no fresh prints okay i this is hard you're
not doing off the dome you're looking them up i have to look them up because i don't want to
miss anything okay i'm gonna do that too then um i think in the mix we need to have oh man can i start i'll give you one give me one original bad boys yep yeah i think
original bad boys needs to be included you know who else was in that movie right my ear beat you
to it i set you up though bitch i know and now unfortunately every single time do you know martin's
on like peacock i was going through peacock the other day trying to find something to watch, and I saw Martin.
Did you watch it?
I just immediately...
I was laying in bed alone.
I just went...
What?
Bad Boys 2, also a really good movie, but I'm going to leave it off this list.
I'm hollering at Independence Day.
If you had said Bad Boys 2 over Bad Boys 1, I would not have argued with you.
Yeah.
I wouldn't have had that much of an issue with it.
I remember the exact moment I was watching Bad Boys 1 in a theater with a kid on my soccer team and his family,
and we were eating pork rinds.
Stop with the pork rinds, dog.
That's a true story.
You eat way too many pork rinds.
For me, it's Ollie, Independence Day, Bad Boys, in no particular order.
What about Hitch?
You liked Hitch, didn't you?
Never saw it.
Don't care.
I made a huge mistake with Hitch.
Hancock, not a bad movie.
I didn't see it.
I accidentally asked a girl to go see Hitch with me in high school,
not realizing that she probably thought it was a date.
And I found myself just watching Hitch with her, and I felt really bad.
If you invited a young lady to a movie, why wouldn't she think it's a date you know in hindsight dylan that's a good question yeah but
i wasn't thinking like that i i didn't mean to do that uh what's that one where he had his he had
to put it he had to kill his dog is it i am legend okay i am legend i am legend was pretty entertaining
it's a good movie but the dog thing makes it, so it can't be in my top three.
Yeah, it tugs at the heart, Dave.
I never saw the new Aladdin with him as the genie.
I thought it was good.
It stinks.
I thought it was good.
It stinks.
I like the remakes of that.
Will, don't waste your time.
Dude, he does a good job.
I want to see the Serena, the Venus and Serena movie where he plays the dad.
It's on HBO, right?
I think we can watch that right now.
Should we watch it?
It's called King Richard.
Have we really been going for over an hour?
Yeah, we're out here mobbing.
We didn't think we were going to have enough content.
We're talking Will Smith movies.
We've got to move on.
Yeah, that's actually fair.
Yeah, let's call a spade a spade here.
Let's do This Weekend in Fun.
Ooh, This Weekend in Thanksgiving Fun.
Thank you.
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You know, remember where you were when you heard the perfect ad read.
When he gets the accolades from the agency when they send out that email.
Remember where you were.
We were right here.
We won't forget that.
But just people at home.
I spike the football every single time I get through a children's book with Fritz and I don't stutter on anything.
It's really good practice for ad reads.
I love it.
Dude, Rhodes loves books.
And by loves books, I mean he likes to eat them.
Really?
Just fucking puts them in his mouth.
No, he likes to be read to, but he likes to just kind of put them in his mouth.
What's your favorite book to read?
Good Night Moon?
Is that it?
That's a classic.
My son, let me brag on him for a bit.
Oh.
God, I'm sorry.
He is a reading fool now.
He's come a long way in a year.
All right, dude.
Give our kids some time.
He read a whole book by himself the other day.
It's a kid's book.
Berenstain Bears?
It's called I Broke My Trunk. Was it too much junk in it a little elephant that broke his trunk i wrote a different one it's called i popped my trunk are you guys ready are
you guys ready for my favorite children's book right now what was in the back of it
tuli a thang choppa dave you need you need to get iggy peck architect okay the the cadence at which you read
it it just gets you in a flow and you feel like you're just absolutely rattling stuff off do you
think iggy pop is safe for that age hard to say uh no he really likes the dot the the animal books
that have like the texture the texture and you press it and it's like, woof, woof. I remember those. Those are cute. Apple bottom roads, books with the fur.
Did you just say my son has an apple bottom?
Yeah.
He's got a baby butt.
Yeah.
Are all baby butts apple bottom?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Baby butts are legit funny.
Yeah, they got the little dimples on there.
They're cute, man.
It's hilarious.
Baby butt.
Dylan, what are you doing this Thanksgiving?
Thank you for asking, Will.
Mine kind of starts today, kind of.
Today's my dad's birthday.
Oh, shout out Dylan's dad.
Yeah, we're going to do a little birthday celebration for him tonight at his pad, his crib.
Tomorrow is a special night.
Brittany and I, that's bae for those at home.
We're taking little bae to dinner tomorrow.
I'm so excited for this.
It's going to be a mega cute scene.
Parks, of course, is not with us.
He's out of town still.
Where are y'all going?
We're going to an Italian restaurant in south central Austin.
Sal's Meat Market?
No, I don't know that particular establishment.
Rigatoni's Beef and Noodles?
It's going to be cute, man.
I'm really excited for that.
Really excited.
Thursday, my sister, brother-in-law, and their little niece are coming over to my house.
That's, of course, going to be Thanksgiving.
I'm very excited to have them.
We're going to do a little Thanksgiving meal.
They're going to spend the night.
Hey, Dylan? Probably drink plenty of wine, some bourbon. Oh, yeah. Allow're going to do a little Thanksgiving meal. They're going to spend the night. Hey, Dylan.
Probably drink plenty of wine, some bourbon.
Oh, yeah.
Allow me to congratulate you on being an uncle.
Maybe some fall beers.
Will, you hear about these fall beers?
Oh, man.
Excited for that, man.
I'm going to be snaking some Christmas ales.
You're going to snake them.
Mm-hmm.
What do I have the rest of the weekend?
I don't even remember.
I have so much going on these
next three nights that i've just i forgot it might be a scene though who knows what's that
boy digging into parks and get back till sunday can't come soon enough you're gonna take him to
dinner i just want to give him a big old hug man are you asking because you're gonna shoot him a
text if he's got it up at night? I miss that shit.
Yeah, just let me know what night because I would like to take him to CeCe's next week at some point.
Okay.
He would love that.
Yeah.
He actually really would love that. Yeah, he would be so psyched if Dave took him to CeCe's.
How have we not done that yet?
I don't know.
There's a CeCe.
How many views does a video of Dave taking the homie to CeCe's do?
Yeah.
That would be, what if it was – because I've never taken –
like, obviously, I've got a son who's almost 10 months old.
Like, having a little kid that I'm responsible for, like, in public at CeCe,
I've never been in that position.
That would be interesting.
He's very well-paid.
He's pretty self-sufficient at this point.
Oh, very much so.
I'm heading back tomorrow, today.
Today is Wednesday and definitely not Tuesday.
Duncanville, Texas, home of the Panthers.
Might go check out their playoff game versus Spring up at the Frisco Center in Frisco, Texas, Saturday.
We'll see about it.
Is the Harbor Springs fighting Rams?
Yeah, that's who they're playing.
He's looking them up.
Let's see how many
wins we got this season.
I'm going to say three.
I think they had a team
this year.
Oh, no.
Two and seven.
No, they went two and seven.
Cool.
Well, yeah, so we will be
doing Thanksgiving up there.
I do lunch at my in-laws
and then we do dinner
at my parents.
So it's just kind of... And it's basically the same meal twice,
which is not a bad thing because, you know, everybody knows my snake giraffe,
my Mount Rushmore.
Friday I've got a tee time playing with my dad and maybe a couple buddies.
I don't know.
It's going to be crisp, like crisp, crisp, like probably teeing off,
and it's going to be like 45, maybe a frost delay.
Wait, did you say crisp crisp?
I did say crisp crisp, yes.
And that's it. I don't know when we're coming back.
I'm looking forward to doing the DraftKings stuff Thursday.
Shout out to them. Thankful for them.
Can't wait.
Big Thanksgiving guy.
A lot of people like to use Will's slogan,
poo-poo Thanksgiving.
I'm not one of those people.
I'm going to drink a bunch of porters and stouts.
Let's go, Dave.
Probably some bourbon.
I'm going to bring some good bourbon back home.
Treat yourself.
I will.
Thank you.
You know what?
I will.
I'm going to hit yoga today.
I'm done.
Will.
Whole fam's in town.
Parents.
Sister.
Brother-in-law.
Niece.
We're just going to absolutely mob.
We're doing Thanksgiving with Sally's family out at their place.
Friday morning.
Got some really exciting Christmas card photos that we're getting taken.
Really excited about that.
Peak timing. Just got our photo shoot photos in. Are taken. Really excited about that. Peak timing.
Just got our photo shoot photos in.
Are you looking hot?
It's a fun moment.
The other members of my family steal the show, including Randy.
Oh.
Shouts to Randy.
Give yourself some credit, Davey.
And then, yeah, I don't have to.
They're a lot cuter than you.
Thanks.
You know what I'm doing Saturday?
Just hanging out with your guy friends.
Saturday.
You know your boy is going to the movie theater
for the first time
since the pandemic.
I'm going to holler
at that Encanto.
That means I love.
I will be seeing Encanto,
the new Pixar flick,
in theaters.
Very excited about it
for some reason.
I just haven't been
to a movie theater in forever.
Dude, I'm horny
to go see a movie.
Well, dude, every day is a movie when you're, I'm horny to go see a movie. Well, dude,
every day is a movie when you're a podcaster.
Us night was certainly a movie.
Yeah.
Other than that,
I don't have too much going on.
I'm just probably going to eat some,
uh,
aggressive food with my,
my father.
I think we're going to get some barbecue,
some Tex-Mex,
just hit all the,
all the spots.
And,
uh,
yeah,
we're just going to get after it.
I can't wait.
Very cool,
man.
Yeah.
Sunday,
I'm going to start working out again.
Cause probably gonna eat too much of Thanksgiving. Can't wait. Diet starts Monday. Yeah. Let's get it. I can't wait. Very cool, man. Yeah. Sunday I'm going to start working out again because I'm probably going to
eat too much at Thanksgiving. Can't wait.
Diet starts Monday. Yeah. Let's get it.
Hey, everyone
out there, I hope you guys have a real, real
great Thanksgiving. I hope you get some much needed time
off. To anyone out there who's grinding throughout the
holiday, major apologies, but
hopefully we can be there for you with a couple episodes.
Is that all she wrote for sure
we love y'all thank you bye