Circling Back - Welcome To Willmon's & Bean Man
Episode Date: January 4, 2021Aaaaaaaaand we’re back. Dave, Will, and Brett sit down sans-Dillon (who’s on a ski trip) to discuss their holiday breaks, break down the Bean Man controversy from Twitter, play “Kickback, Apres,... Nose Beers” with new famous Austin residents, and debut the all-new Willmon’s Theme Song. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:20) This Holiday Break In Fun (39:19) Bean Man Takes Over Twitter (52:17) Kickback, Apres, Nose Beers: New Austin Residents (1:04:04) Willmon’s Theme Song Debut (1:09:56) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Indochino: www.indochino.com/steam ($30 off purchase of $399 or more) Ritual: www.ritual.com/circlingback (10% off) Stamps: Click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and use CIRCLINGBACK --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge first time in 2021
my name is will defreeze am i right david ruff happy 2020 fun wow he did it new year's saint me dude 2020 fun i'm gonna be on my baddest
behavior wow dude diet starts on monday did you start your diet today dave it's monday you know
today has got to be the day for people right because they're rolling into a weekend like that
no one was like well it's saturday i'm gonna start it today like no one did that everybody
just was like i got two more days of this shit.
I'm going to Via.
I saw my sister-in-law make it 13 hours into sober January.
She gave it a good run.
But about 1 o'clock.
13 hours is not good.
Yeah, 1 o'clock in the afternoon on New Year's Day, she had a margarita.
And I was like, yeah, let's do this.
I'm doing sober weeknight January.
Let's go.
Let's go.
So does that mean Friday nights you can't drink?
No, that's technically weekend.
Just making sure.
But our weekend also starts on Thursday.
True.
Can I trade Sunday for Thursday?
You want to not drink Thursday but drink Sunday?
No, I want Thursday.
Sunday you can have.
The Lord's Day.
We don't know what you're talking about, Brett.
What day do you want to drink on? Thursday or Sunday? Spell it out. Thursday. But Sunday you can have. The Lord's Day. We don't know what you're talking about, Brett.
What day do you want to drink on?
Thursday or Sunday?
Spell it out.
Well, I guess you're only
doing five days, huh?
I was going to say
Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
You can't do that.
Yeah, I know.
That's not how it works.
All right.
You can't drink on Sunday night.
I think I'm out then.
I don't like drinking
on Sunday night.
Yeah.
I'll do sober school nights.
Okay.
You know? Because technically Friday is do sober school nights. Okay. Yeah.
Because technically Friday is not a school day for us.
You're mirroring what I just said.
You're doing five days.
You're just branding it differently.
You're doing five days.
I'm doing four days.
What the fuck are you doing right now?
I just pitched the Thursday thing.
Okay.
Well, I'm with you.
I guess Brett Merriman's in the building
just messing everything up right now.
Good to be back.
First episode.
We don't have Dylan today.
Dylan, if you haven't noticed,
is just trying to take people's ankles out
in Colorado while sledding.
I got to say,
there's been a number of stories he's posted
that I've wanted to respond to
and just been like,
why didn't you just post this as a gram?
Like, this is grammable.
And if we learned anything about dylan on ski
trips is that he absolutely volume shoots instagrams oh yeah yeah he did i looked back on
his on his last trip i guess the one that we were on in breck which doesn't feel like it was almost
a year ago but surely was and he at one point i think he did up to three Instagrams in one day at one point. If not in one actual day, indefinitely in a 24-hour span, Dylan did three separate Instagrams.
Yeah.
It was before he knew about the slideshow feature.
He still can't figure it out.
He's like, dude, why doesn't this work?
How do you do it?
Like the order I want is not, that's not how it worked.
Like I wanted a different order.
Remember when Dylan asked us the other day how to download a video from twitter that that is true that it was like you're you were
he's like one of the most early internet people that there was like earlier than us yes like and
he doesn't know how to download a twitter video i will say that it is you do get kind of sketch
vibes when you're doing it.
Yeah.
Download, like, when you go to the little Twitter ripper or whatever.
Yeah, you're going to like xripper.com or something.
It's got Buffstream's vibes.
Crackstream's?
Yeah, which, rest in peace, as of last week from what happened.
Oh, no.
Yeah, that's too bad.
I don't know what Micah's doing then.
That's how Micah pretty much watched everything in his life.
Oh, yeah.
He did pay-per-views on that too, right?
Oh, yeah.
Everything.
That might be a felony at this point.
I don't know if that got passed.
It wasn't a stimulus thing.
Was it in there?
I don't know.
It's a really poorly written.
There were some really good stimulus takes from people online who knew nothing about the stimulus plan.
Because no one had read it.
It's 5,000 pages.
Yeah, and that's why I really like
that generic Twitter accounts.
They were like, well, this much times this much
equals this much.
Where's all this other money going?
Yeah.
Right.
It's like, yeah.
All the money.
You just multiplied 600 by the entire population
of the United States, which is not how it works.
No, I like the idea of people thinking
that the package itself is just the number that's
available and then divided by the amount of people in the United States that qualify for
it.
That's how it works.
Yeah, I don't know.
Hard to say.
Let's go through that.
Let's go through it line by line.
Should we?
Yep.
Can we redline this?
Who wants to write that?
Brett's breaking news.
We break down the stimulus.
Not an intern, but a clerk who's putting 5,000 pages together?
And it's like, here you go, guy.
I don't know what the fuck to do with this.
It's pages.
Yeah.
Interns.
Imagine that PDF.
I don't like the term page, congressional page.
Isn't that like, it's like you're a page and then uh the next step up is like uh
something so it's it's very antiquated it's just like uh just they're interns i'm a bigger fan of
turning it the page oh you know i heard this weekend was that there's a uh a white house or
excuse me a senate parliamentarian kind of sounds like a dope job their their main job is to interpret
the constitution for the senators no i can i can pretty much confirm that that job would probably
suck it would suck but it would be a dope like title it's a living breathing document according
to some really that sounds terrible it's just alive and chilling that's what you are a glass
case at the smithsonian or wherever is Nick Cage did he no he wasn't
Constitution
that was all set
it was Declaration
I
to be honest
Brett same thing bro
I don't know
I don't know
like the logistics
of like
both of them
of like both movies
Natty Tresh 1
and Natty Tresh 2
about to be 3
the last time
the Constitution
was in this room
it was being signed.
I'm more of a Magna Carta guy.
Really?
I saw that.
The Jay-Z album?
Right.
Sick.
Didn't they call Dylan
the Magnum Carta
back in college?
They might have.
He's not here, so...
No, that's fine.
Fine.
You can't do anything about it.
I'm...
Let me do it.
Him not...
Him not being here
is not going to make me not make jokes at his expense, unfortunately.
It's crazy that the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights are all the exact same thing.
Stop doing that, Dave.
What, aren't they the same?
What?
Nothing.
We the people.
Which one is in like a plexiglass thing in the Smithsonian?
Any of them?
Where is, where?
They rotate.
They apparently rotate one of them.
The National Archives.
With a fake one and a real one.
I think the National Archives has the, they definitely have the Magna Carta.
Don't they keep it?
I walked by that one.
Like in the Wright Brothers play, plane that that's hanging from the wall or the ceiling?
Don't they have it up there?
Yeah.
They put the copy on display.
The real one, they keep moving around.
Just in case Nick Cage comes by.
How has the government not gone paperless yet?
Is Randy a history major?
He's getting so antsy.
Dude, Randy is just rolling in his chair right now just trying to figure this out.
Why don't they just...
I don't understand
why they don't just
get rid of it altogether
and just scan it somewhere
and keep it in a file.
A PDF.
Yeah.
Make it a PDF.
But then what if they...
No, but what if they have
to convert the PDF
back to something?
Then you have to download
that plug-in and shit.
They don't have Adobe?
Yeah.
It's like, fuck.
Their free college account
expired
and now they gotta pay for it.
And then you take like 20 minutes registering for Adobe Acrobat thinking that it's going to solve what you have to do.
And then you get in there and you're like, I don't know how to do this.
No, what they should do is move the Constitution to blockchain and just have it entirely digital.
Yeah.
Then they can't be hacked.
Really?
Extremely secure.
They have to have a Constitution wallet where they keep it.
Yeah, they have like 12 words in sequence.
Yeah.
God, we're just Bitcoin boys.
Did you write that down?
Of course I wrote it down, David.
I got mine tattooed on the underside of my lip.
Did you?
Yeah.
I feel like when you buy Bitcoin and start your wallet or whatever you're supposed to do,
I feel like they don't explain the gravity of that phrase enough.
Which phrase?
Like just all the words and stuff. Oh, they don't explain the gravity of that phrase enough. Which, which phrase? Like just all the words and stuff.
Oh,
they don't.
Like I needed you to explain to me like,
no,
keep that.
And that's a bad sign for you.
Cause you needed me.
Yeah.
And I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Yeah.
How,
how unsecure is your wallet right now?
Quite.
No,
the wallet's more secure.
To be honest,
my wallet,
like if you,
if you got into,
if you even got into it, wouldn't matter.
It's not connected to anything.
I didn't do anything.
You didn't hop on CBase?
Is Coinbase still how y'all do the thing?
I'm a Coinbase.
Well, you know, I don't really discuss my crypto publicly, but I've considered Coinbase.
I'm not going to say whether it's what I've chosen.
Remember the physical Bitcoin wallets had their run for a minute, like Trezor?
It was like a USB that was unbreakable.
And I was like, I'll just fucking run over it.
Oh, yeah.
We'll see about that.
If someone even tried to hack me and get that, they'd be so disappointed at the amount of work they put into it to see how much Bitcoin I actually own.
They'd be like, oh, okay.
Yeah.
Cool.
It's like, yeah, we're just going to leave it.
It's like, awesome.
I paid 5% of my rent this month with a little Bitcoin. That's awesome. My Bitcoin investment is mainly. It's awesome, yeah, we're just going to leave it. It's like, awesome. I paid 5% of my rent this month with a little Bitcoin.
That's awesome.
My Bitcoin investment is mainly –
It's awesome, baby.
My strategy is to have enough to where just in case it really, really is the future currency
that I don't feel completely left out, that all my friends are now multimillionaires.
And at least I made a little bit.
I bought it like – I had jet ski money. I'm hedaires and at least I made a little bit. Like I bought like jet ski money.
I'm hedging.
Yeah.
I'm hedging.
I'm hedging because I don't – FOMO hedge.
Yeah.
Because I don't want to be the guy who like didn't have it
and like everybody's like got a ranch and a lake house.
I'm like, oh, damn.
But you have a jet ski that you can bring on your trailer to the lake house.
Yeah.
With your Bitcoin earnings.
If it gets to that point, I'm just pull the trigger.
You're going to kill yourself. Yeah. I don't think I'm'm just... Pull the trigger. You're going to kill yourself.
I don't think I'm going to.
I don't think I'm going to do that.
The dollar fiat currency is just no longer a thing.
I think we're all in trouble.
That's fine.
That's my Bitcoin take.
We're only taking payment from advertisers
in Bitcoin in 2021, correct?
We now have an Apple Pay option.
Or you can do the Afterpay
and you can pay in installments.
Okay.
Interest-free, which is so weird.
I was buying something.
I bought a new golf bag
and I was looking at some of their other stuff.
Wow, dude.
And you can finance a shirt.
Yeah.
And it was like five payments of like $7.
Yeah.
Why would I do that?
And it's interest-free.
How does Afterpay make any money?
I don't get it.
I feel like their margins
can't be good on that.
They're zero.
It's definitely a weird move.
Unless you're splitting revenue
with whatever companies
they're using.
But I was like,
I'm not going to finance a shirt
where Dave said $7 a month
and there's no juice on the back end
for them.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's not going to get me out of bed.
You know what really pissed some people off?
So I don't know if you guys know this.
I won my fantasy league.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, we did know that.
You already talked about that.
There's like one or two guys who like fancy themselves as finance guys,
but telling them that I'm going to just buy Bitcoin with that money gets them so mad.
I kind of love that.
They're like, oh, okay.
Well, I hope you don't mind losing it all very soon.
I'm like, okay.
No, there's like the hard-o-finance.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
When it comes to finance stuff, no one should ever listen to me about anything.
I know nothing other than what Dave said, FOMO hedges.
But at the same time, the hard-o guy who clearly doesn't want to get into, like, anything but, like, the stock market and is completely resistant to, like, Bitcoin, it's hilarious to me.
No, definitely not a fail.
We need Trust Fonterra on here to tell us what's up.
Let's get TFT on here.
What's the Tare Bear doing?
TFT would probably rip us if I had to guess.
Yeah, probably.
I'm a Robin Hood guy yeah i'm like
the the stereotypical robin hood trader so you steal everybody can give to the poor real finance
guys hate you yo absolutely like made it made a ton of money talked about at the christmas table
not a ton of money but like oh yeah did well did you make buy a new golf bag money like dave did
i was picking up delta stock like it was damn Damn, dude. I did win my fantasy football league.
I don't know if you guys heard.
So you've recently inherited a lot of money.
It was, you know, it felt good.
That Venmo came through nice, right?
It felt good.
It almost paid for itself.
Good.
Nice.
Almost.
If you equated how much time versus how much money you had,
how much money do you think you made an hour?
Dude, no.
That's always the depressing thing I think about when I think about my fantasy baseball days.
I'm like, if you divide my second place winnings by the amount of hours that I put into this,
I made about one cent an hour.
Well, and not the time that I've stressed watching games.
Yeah.
Games that I shouldn't care about.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I just do that.
That's something, sometimes I'll never get back.
Especially with gambling because it's an even worse ratio.
I'm so...
Uh-oh.
This has been my first dip back into bowl season gambling, and my God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cincinnati.
Dave, the Bearcats were up, and then they weren't.
That was a terrible Jersey game, by the way.
Yeah, I agree.
It looked like the Georgia Spring game.
Agree.
To everyone who's shown up at Wilmonds for bowl season,
we apologize that we've had to turn you away,
but we can't smoke marijuana on the premises,
and so it's for watching bowl games.
Have a lot of people shown up and tried to do that?
Yeah.
Burning not concerned
in what nobody wants to say.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Hey, can everyone go out there
and go follow
at Circling Back Pod
and at Washed Media
on the Grom?
Add me on the group.
I'm thinking about
introducing some new buttons
for 2021.
Oh.
Are you guys ready for that?
If I did that?
I promised new buttons
for too much div
and I don't know
if they're ready.
You haven't made good on that yet?
I just didn't have time.
Just do the Taco Bell, like, dun.
We've had that.
Oh.
Also, leave a review and five-star rating.
Just go do it.
We love reading your reviews.
If they're good enough, we'll even read them on the pod itself.
Also, go to YouTube.com slash Washed Media.
Randy was a grind boy over break.
He put up a few videos while we were doing our thing.
One of them is the best of washedmedia video from last year.
It's not just clips from the pod.
It's just everything.
It's our lives.
It made me emotional, Randy.
I wasn't weeping, but I was getting close.
I wasn't in the club, but if I had been, I might have been crying in it.
Go check it out.
YouTube.com slash washedmedia.
While you're there watching it make
sure to press that subscribe button also the biggest news bachelor returns tonight
mike james bitch he's tight it's matt it's matt again it's matt his name's not mike no now it's
matt seriously what's his name his name's matt i'm looking at it okay well brett just told me
differently yeah brett brett Brett's been around a couple times
Matt James
I'm excited, dude
This looks like they actually have a budget
Instead of a tation season
I'm actually pretty excited for this right now
It doesn't change things
It's now Matt and not Mike
One syllable
So it's Mike?
Although Mike is arguably two, right?
Mike
Mike
Mike No, it's Mike. Mike. Mike.
No, it's Mike.
I know.
No, just one.
There was always a couple of those names where you're like, are you sure that's not multiple?
Okay.
Not important.
I mean, we got some early front runners.
We got Amber, the nursing student, 30 years old from Costa Mesa.
I like Sine.
Victoria, 27, from LA, is going to be a problem.
She's the shit stirrer, and her title on here is queen.
Oh, yeah.
She's going to stink.
Really?
She is royalty.
That's pretty cool.
Why would she go on here?
It seems like she should be the one having people vie for her hand in marriage.
Not the other way around.
Can I give a shout-out?
Yeah.
I want to shout-out Audrey from Atlanta.
So we're not shouting out rachel the graphic
24 year old graphic designer from coming georgia is she really coming georgia not making that up
at all well that's a great tie-in because audrey from atlanta has sent us a version of uh i don't
know if you guys have heard of this coming opily it's like monopoly but it's coming
um as in the city and in georg On the back it says Go Coming.
Yeah, we got some content out of this,
which I don't know when.
Was that a year ago?
Was that two years ago?
We don't know.
Yeah, you couldn't tell me, man.
Dude, 2020 was such a fucking blur.
It was such a blur.
I had no clue what was going on.
Aren't you saying it was a vibe?
Dude, it was a movie.
It was like short and long at the same time, you know?
Which is crazy.
Hey, happy year three of Washed Media, by the way.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Not yet. We haven't started it on that.
Okay.
Yeah, we're still in year two.
Our calendar years don't totally match up.
What is it?
Second week?
Might have been like the sixth or something.
We should do a dinner.
Dude, should we do a dinner?
Should we get a dinner on?
Oh, so yeah.
Go to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast.
We're doing Bachelor Recaps on Tuesdays now.
I don't know how next week's national championship game is going to affect that,
but we're going to be back on our regular schedule,
so we'll probably likely won't be Wednesday anymore.
Doesn't ESPN get the natty?
I think so.
So ABC, they're just going to—
I heard it's on Nickelodeon this year.
Oh, yeah.
What's up with that?
Do-do-do-do, do, do, do.
Face.
Yeah, Face is actually the one doing the, remember him?
Just the face on the screen.
I don't remember Face.
No.
Oh, never mind.
I heard they're going to do like, you know, the coach's room, the coach's film room.
They're going to do that for one of those playoff games, but it's just going to be the
cast of all that.
Yeah.
It's also Rugrats and Hey Arnold. People are going to do that for one of those playoff games, but it's just going to be the cast of all that. It's also Rugrats and
Hey Arnold. People are going to get
slimed. How many move-it football head jokes are
going to be on when they show this stuff on Nickelodeon?
Wow, that's a chilling
nostalgic
train that just hit me.
Do you think Helga is
killing it? Pataki? Yeah.
I don't know if it was the governor. I didn't like Helga.
I thought she was kind of rude.
Well, because she liked him.
Yeah.
Some of these teams are,
you're going to have to figure out,
are you afraid of the run?
Ooh.
Because in the modern NFL,
the running back position
has been devalued.
You're right.
Tell that to Derek Henry.
You're absolutely right.
Great point.
Counterpoint.
Can we do this holiday break
and fun presented by indochino
whoa you won't sponsor indochino indochino no no i can't i can't allow that some of my favorite
times in life guys are when i can just get an absolute fit off when i'm getting dressed and
i can i got some music playing in the background i'm in the bathroom and i'm looking at my wardrobe and I'm thinking like, man, what should I put on
right now? And now that we got Indochino, it just makes your decision so much easier because
this stuff is just tailored perfectly. A custom fit. Yeah. Whether it's an interview, a date,
a special occasion, whatever it is, you got to look sharp for it. And with Indochino, perfectly
fitted custom clothes are more affordable than you might think. We've all gotten some stuff from
here. They've got, all gotten some stuff from here.
Dylan has a shirt from them.
It fits him like a glove in all the right ways.
It probably wouldn't have fit him during his avocado phase,
but just seeing him in it now that he's finally slimmed down again,
it's just perfect.
There's never a bad time to look good.
Right.
Especially when Indochina offers made-to-measure custom clothing at a more affordable price.
Not only can you go into their showroom to visit, but you can also do a virtual style consultation and shop online.
Yeah.
This is what I'm doing.
They've got stuff that you can tailor that I didn't realize was an important thing, like
where the button sits on the sleeve.
I'm like, oh yeah, I never thought of that, but I've got options now.
You know why you haven't thought about that, Dave?
Because I'm white trash. You're not a thought of that, but I've got options now. You know why you haven't thought about that, Dave? Because I'm white trash.
You're not a tailor.
Right.
My name's David.
You're not a part of the tailor gang.
Isn't that what Wiz Khalifa was rapping about the entire time?
Yeah, tailor gang.
Yeah.
It was just him and a bunch of dudes
just in really good-fitting suits.
T-A-I-L-O-R.
People didn't realize that.
Yeah.
It was lost in translation.
But whether you're looking for a perfect pair of slacks, an awesome suit, or a shirt that just makes you look, I don't know, maybe confident and stylish, go to Indochino.
Like we said, you can do the virtual style consultation.
You can shop online or go to a showroom.
They offer completely custom-fitted suits, coats, and casual wear at surprisingly affordable prices.
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And the best part, Indochino suits start at just $299 with all the customizations included.
That's awesome.
If you can get in and out the door for $299 on a custom-fit suit at the level of Indochino's doing it, you have to do it.
It's a great deal.
Your boy is doing it.
Because all the weddings that got pushed from last year to this year, we're going to need some Indochino.
Yeah, and you're going to have to re—you would have had to re-tailor all that because you've gotten shredded.
Well, I died so much.
I just laughed.
Just insulting.
Couldn't even get it out.
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D-Man, what did you get into?
Pretty much hung out.
When's the last time we spoke?
Let's talk about the time between Christmas and right now.
Because we did do an episode.
We somewhat talked about what we did over the holidays.
What did you do for New Year's, D-Man?
Nothing.
It was fantastic. I think the last. What did you do for New Year's, D-Man? Nothing. It was fantastic.
I think the last time I did anything was dinner with everybody.
Not everybody, but you and Dylan.
Yeah.
That was the last time really outside of going to the range
and hitting some balls.
We were homebodies for like the last four or five days just because.
What did we do?
Oh, we picked up barbecue. that's what we did new year's
eve i'm gonna give them a shout out love barbecue east side austin probably 1a 1b la barbecue
valentina's for my favorite barbecue in town wow if there's any like i don't know reality dating
show hosts that want to enjoy it with us as a squad. Would love to have them.
But, yeah, man, it was pretty low-key.
Watched a lot of football.
Did a lot of the sports.
Watched a lot of Mavs.
Did your teams win?
Did your teams win the big game?
Actually, no.
They didn't.
I don't think I had a positive outcome outside of winning my fantasy league
for any sports in the last week.
Where to go but up.
Hey, the Stars are back on the ice, though.
Huge.
Qdobin's got some kind of visa issue or something.
I don't know.
And Pavelski's day-to-day already.
It's okay.
He's old.
Yeah, he's old.
Why is he still playing? How old is he? okay okay he's all right yeah he's old why is he still
playing how old is he 36 he's still okay Corey Perry's gone yeah he's yeah he don't he Pavelski's
got to be like one of those guys that like moves way better on skates than in real life at this
point like I feel like when if you see him at the golf course he's just like kind of like waddling
to his cart probably like he starts the season looking looking like he's deep in a playoff run.
But yeah, man, it was pretty low-key. I did some tweeting. How'd the tweets go?
Tweets did pretty well, man. We had some good ones. We had some good too-much-dip tweets.
Check us out recording after this. Yeah, it was fun. It was a nice reset. I needed it.
I needed some time away from the mic.
Yeah.
Have we gone two weeks without recording a normal episode of Circling Back since we started this?
No.
Even though we did do a listener voicemails episode, I don't think we've ever gone that long without doing an episode.
And I have to admit, it felt pretty nice.
I'm not saying I want to do it, like, all the time, but hitting the reset button was kind of needed this break came in like fired up
to to get on to get back on the much i had the extra week because of the uh health issues of
some family some family health issues that are all we're good now we're in the clear we're in
the clear we in the clear and then then, yeah. Are you done?
I didn't mean to cut your.
No, dude.
I was like trying to think of shit.
And I'm glad you stepped in.
Because I didn't do much.
That's the beauty of it, dude.
I had a great rain session a couple of days ago.
Just an all-timer?
It was just one where you're like, man, I've really, I've got something.
Why didn't you do the golf hard-o move where you took a photo of your divots on a line?
Are you calling out Brett?
I feel like Brett's done that.
Have you done that?
No, I got called out for my divots weren't in a line.
That's what it was.
See, that's tough.
That's tough.
Which I'm like, it's fucking Kaiser guys.
Oh, the Kaiser range.
I'm hitting the range.
Dude, the Kaiser range.
If you have your divots in a line there, then you somehow found a patch of grass that can even sustain that.
Correct.
It's hitting off the patch of great desert golf right now.
Yeah.
Um,
but yeah,
I was in,
I was in H town for a lot of the break and did a lot of LT,
not a lot of LT,
one,
one LT,
which was great.
Um,
what is tomato?
One is not a lot.
Um, yeah. What is LT?
Tiempo.
LaDainian Tomlinson?
Oh.
The time or the temperature.
You did LaDainian Tomlinson over Christmas?
Didn't see him.
I thought you were talking about copious amounts of cocaine.
Didn't do that either.
Okay.
Didn't add her all at one point.
Okay.
Breaking news here.
Wow, go off.
Yeah, yeah.
Went dumb on that.
It was pouring rain a good amount of the time.
We needed it.
Did some bike rides.
Yeah, we did.
But Houston got a little too much rain.
That's just kind of the nature of the way it's built.
Sure.
Did a lot of that.
Got some rain sessions in.
I think the swing journey is, well, it's akin to the Titanic's journey.
It's hit an iceberg. And I'm at the point now what are you talking about the last few times I've played with you
it's been fun I'm at the point where I don't I don't remember the comfortable
swing that I could at least get around the course with so I am truly I'm truly
in swing limbo but it's okay i i got some drills that i actually
bought a uh a guide an over the top guide because i was coming over the top too much
so i bought a guide for 15 bucks what like a book yeah like literally a hard copy a pdf
from a guy on instagram who um i think think his name is Eric Cogorno Golf.
Okay.
Yeah, so I'm...
Dude, I'm sure this PDF is going to change your swing.
Yeah.
Dude, there's YouTube videos.
There's probably thousands.
I've been doing those, too.
No, but he wants a virtual document.
I haven't touched a club in two weeks now.
So I'm excited.
That's probably for the best.
I'm excited to, like...
Yeah, the last time I touched a club was golfing.
I'm just playing real clean 90s golf lately.
You have a really, really, around the greens, you and Dave have been phenomenal.
I've been playing just spotless 90s golf.
You're in a good place.
I'm not having any severe blow-up holes.
I'm just bogeying or doubling everything.
You're not losing a lot of balls. No, no balls no no like yeah i'm playing the whole round with one
ball yeah but like and if you do it's like weirdly somehow right in front of the green that you lost
it you're like what where did it go yeah what's going on yeah like what i put it right here
you guys get any any uh dope gifts or do you already talk about that uh i got several gifts
you didn't i can talk about mine did she drop the PS5 on you yet?
No I didn't get a PS5
I thought she was doing it
Seems a little weird
Okay
I got a pogo stick
Yeah?
You didn't do the backflip one?
You have to grow into it though?
Yeah
It's like 170 pound
It's game season though
Nice
Yeah
More incentive to eat
No I mean
I got some birthday gifts i did have a birthday people
forget about that oh yeah what day was my birthday two days saturday thank you randy for reminding
us that was your birthday yeah i like is it like a bit that randy says let me be the first to say
this after other people say it okay cool yeah uh on my birthday i actually didn't know really what
to expect because we i told sally in the beginning, I tell her every year for my birthday,
I was like, all I want is just a nice dinner and that's it.
Don't want to think about anything.
Don't want to do anything.
And on the first, I wanted to watch the Man U game
because they're trying to go top of the tapes.
And I was like, you know what?
I got to watch this Man U game at 2.
It's going to be done at 4.
She's like, all right, well, right at 4, we have to go do something. I was like,
what are we going to go do?
Turns out, she got me a little staycation.
Nice. So we went and stayed at a hotel downtown.
I've actually been a pretty big
critic of
staycations in the past. I don't think it's the
best way to spend money all the time.
That being said, this kind of changed my entire perspective.
I don't remember you being critical of staycations.
I've never done one before because I never really wanted to pull trig on something
like that i will say austin is a good staycation town because if you want to do in town there's
like cool trendy areas if you want to go out hill country and get that vibe kind of isolated you can
do that too i mean our in our hotel like was honestly empty the entire time for for pretty
obvious reasons i guess what do you think it? I think it might have been the ongoing Demi.
Yeah.
But it was awesome.
It was fun.
I hadn't done like an actual staycation before, and I had an absolute blast.
And it felt like I hit the reset button even more than I already was at that point.
So it was a very enjoyable time.
She did get me a nice gift that went along with that.
She got me a weekender bag that I was very happy about.
Nice.
But from there, your boy just ate some good food and enjoyed his birthday.
That's all I wanted to do.
Yeah, you actually have a column from 2016 that says,
fuck your staycation, post-grad problems will defreeze.
No, I don't.
No, you don't.
If I did, I wouldn't be surprised, but I wouldn't do that headline.
You didn't. I wouldn't be surprised, but I wouldn't do that headline. You didn't.
I wouldn't either.
I would have sent that headline.
Had I sent that headline to Dave on Gchat, Dave would have hit me back and been like,
looks G2G, which meant good to go.
And then you would have been like, should we tweak the headline a little bit?
Yeah.
That would have been one where I sent it to you with the headline that said, fuck staycations.
And I probably would have said to you, I need headline help.
Sure.
That was one thing I think we did pretty well was headlines.
It was one of my favorite parts of the job is being able to workshop headlines with the squad.
Yeah.
If you guys want to do some more, I wouldn't hit it.
Dylan was pretty good at headlines.
That's the thing.
Dylan, not only was Dylan really good at headlines, he was also the king of Instagram captions.
J-Bone was the prince of Instagram captions.
What are you talking about?
I gave some pretty good Instagram captions.
Oh, no.
I'm really good at it.
He's doing content in 2021.
Well, he's crowdsourcing his stuff right now.
He's just crowdsourcing.
Wow.
That's where you source the crowd.
Dave has a good headline. So what is the ideal you source the crowd. Dave has a good headline.
So what is the ideal length of a vacation?
That's a good question.
What did you come to on that?
Are you being serious?
I wrote that.
You are Dave, August 10th, 2017.
Posted by user D-Man.
Let me see.
Oh, so what is the ideal length of a vacation?
Yeah.
I like that Dave has no recollection.
I don't.
I don't.
It's a great column.
It's probably not.
You said it'd be three.
You're being nice, but it probably sucks.
11 days.
I probably spent about 35 minutes on it.
You also linked to Dylan's column.
Must be nice being willed to freeze.
Ha ha!
December 30th. I got absolutely rolling on that. Ha ha! December 30th, 2016.
I got absolutely wrong on that.
And there are some dope pictures of it.
I got so wrong on that the entire time.
Your Jackson Hole vacation looks unreal.
Well, it wasn't even a vacation.
That was a work trip.
It was a work trip.
But I got so wrong because our internet and power
went out at the house.
And so I had Sally text, I think, Dave or Dylan at Grand X
and be like, hey, Will's going to be offline for a little bit because we have no power or anything.
So what did I do?
I was like, well, I'm just going to go lay at the pool until we get power back.
And then I go online the next day.
I know.
The next day I get online and I see that Dylan's just, like, exposing me.
Did you see Dylan made a point of reposting the infamous ocean photo of the two of you guys
recently? Oh yeah, he did.
You should write a column and say, it must be nice being Dylan
Shepard. Seriously, dude.
He's just in Breck right now, just enjoying himself.
Eating at Blue River Bistro.
Oh man.
Alyssa lost one of the worst odds of all time
at the Blue River Bistro. Is that where that was?
That was... I've never seen
a lot in hell that bad.
What did she actually have to do?
This was my fault.
I shouldn't have dared her to do this, but I was.
It was something like.
She had to pour the rest of her martini into her wine and chug it.
It was a combo of two drinks, wine being, I think it was wine martini and chug it.
And I was like, dude, you're going to get so sick.
I don't know if she did it or not.
I don't know if she, I think she did.
I think she did. I will't know if she did it or not. I don't know if she... I think she did. I think she did.
I will give Alyssa credit.
I've gotten her on odds a couple times, and she's always...
She's always done it.
I've never seen her not do it.
Not like somebody that I know who I'm married to who's just like...
She'll not do any odds anymore.
Why are they talking about me?
No, I'm not married to you.
You don't do it either, though.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
No.
She's 100%.
You're like 80%.
You know, we've gotten more content out of me not doing the RB shirt than me actually doing it.
That's fair.
We're in the ultimate spin zone right now with your RB shirt.
You could say that I knew what I was doing.
I was just setting the stage for years of content to come.
You did great.
We hit the ranch, too.
Shust, Intern, Klein. Hey, how'd the ranch, too. Shots to intern Klein.
Hey, how'd the ranch go?
Phenomenal.
Did you catch any fish?
Nope.
Nobody threw a line in the water.
They hadn't stocked it in a while.
Did you blast some birds?
Blasted some clays.
Some clays.
Which, to everybody's surprise, I'm still a pretty good shot.
Caroline didn't look that good.
Yeah.
She does the thing where she doesn't aim.
She looked like, yeah, she stops the rotation when she pulls the trigger.
Yeah, she likes to hip fire.
It wouldn't have been dope if she hit it, but she didn't.
Were we all shooting 20 or 12?
We had a 20 and a 12 out there.
Okay.
We had a Beretta, which was really nice.
Really nice Beretta 12.
I was just shopping for an Italian shotgun, like before the pod.
God, they're so expensive.
You're on your shotgun journey, right?
Yeah, Sally didn't get me anything I asked for.
Get a Franchi.
She didn't get me anything I asked for for my birthday.
I wanted guns and a PS5.
I can't believe she didn't even buy you a gun.
Like, I want weaponry and a PS5.
Is that that hard to figure out?
I mean, no.
Just go down to Best Buy, then go down to Academy.
You can literally get it all at Walmart
you get a dope Filson instead
or candy
yeah
well it depends
if they have PS5s or not
fair
yeah
that's true
but that was fun
we ate like shit
drank like shit
and
here we are
did Dylan hit the
Blue Stag
the Blue Stag Inn
or Blue Stag Saloon
he didn't post from it
so who knows
if he didn't
his entire trip is a failure it's just void Dave like fell in love with the Blue Stag Inn or Blue Stag Saloon he didn't post from it so who knows if he didn't his entire trip
is a failure
it's just void
Dave like fell in love
with the Blue Stag
it was my favorite bar
yeah
it was dope
to be honest
I shared tears
with random guys
when we found out
about Kobe
yeah
I got
I had the pleasure
of telling the other guys
on the hill
that Kobe Bryant died
the pleasure yeah wow Klein other guys on the Hill that Kobe Bryant died.
The pleasure.
Yeah.
Wow.
Klein was like a hardcore Kobe fan too, and he was like kind of shaken.
That's big, big, big news.
Even if you're not a Kobe fan, that's one that you're still like, wow.
It wouldn't ruin – if you're on the slope, I don't know if it ruined anyone's day.
It might have ruined – it would have ruined Klein's.
I'll say this.
It created a weird vibe on the patio where we were having beers where people were just finding out.
And so you could actually hear other groups of people who had been skiing all day because we were on the mountain.
Like we weren't at the base of the mountain.
We were still on the mountain just at a random bar.
And you could hear people walking out being like, holy shit, Kobe Bryant died.
And then like all the rumors were also coming in too.
Everybody's looking at their phone.
Yeah.
It was kind of, it was a weird time.
And also we had just gotten done talking about Kobe for about an hour and a half the night before.
Yeah. And so we were all just kind of like, what is going on right now?
It was a little freaky.
You know, it's not freaky though.
It is.
Actually, sometimes these are freaky.
You never know what's in your multivitamin.
Ooh.
There's some freaky, freaky ingredients in some of these things I prefer my multivitamin to not have any freaky ingredients some people
some of them have like sugars in them which like I'm trying to limit my sugar
or artificial colorants I don't know maybe genetically modified organisms like
we just don't want that stuff synthetic fillers artificial colorants not to
mention animal byproducts like sheep's wool and gelatin from hooves and hides.
Keep your hooves out of my mouth.
All their ingredients you might find in a multivitamin, but Ritual isn't your typical
multivitamin.
Ritual's clean, vegan-friendly formula is made with key nutrients and forms your body
can actually use with no shady extras.
We all take Ritual.
It's a ritual for me.
Randy clipped that.
For me, it's one of those things where I'm like, you know what?
Why am I not taking a multivitamin every day?
What's it going to hurt?
What's it going to hurt to take a multivitamin every day?
And what I've learned is that it helps.
You probably don't know if you're deficient in something,
but wouldn't you want to take something that, you know,
let's say you name an element or mineral, probably more of a mineral than an
element.
You're going to get covered here in the ritual.
So just take it just in case.
Yeah.
It's going to make you feel good.
Yes.
Plus it smells great.
It smells great.
It's the weirdest thing.
So many times you take a vitamin and like just putting it in your mouth.
It's like, oh my God, that smells terrible.
Ritual.
It's like, it's like popping a mint.
Dude, there's vitamin burps.
Back in the day.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about?
You know that it's kind of, you know the taste.
I do.
Yeah.
You don't get that with ritual.
And another thing with vitamins that always has like really been the thing for me that's the hardest,
especially because I'm a low-key intermittent fasting boy without realizing it.
I'm just too lazy to make breakfast in the morning.
Is that if you take a lot of vitamins in the morning,
your tummy gets all upset and stuff.
No.
Ritual?
Doesn't happen.
No.
Nice.
Time release.
You know about time release.
Yeah, yeah.
What's your favorite ingredient to add in the multi?
I think mine's vitamin D3.
D3 is big.
Especially in this wintertime. You need that D3. D3's big. Especially in the wintertime.
You need that D3.
You know what it is.
Brett, yeah, you have a D issue, don't you?
Like, you don't really take in the sun very well.
Well, I was doing D2.
Okay.
And now with D3, that's fixed.
That's the one where they went to the Junior Goodwill Games, right?
No, that was the boarding school.
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Let's talk Bean Man.
We need the rundown.
Bean Man, viral thread.
This was big yesterday um seattle musician john roderick
tweeted about his daughter's struggles with a manual can opener which i think many of us can
relate to and the internet dished up plenty of opinions this is per cnet this is my source here
i was following this yesterday when i recommended the recommended tab at CNET look like?
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
Yeah, I'm not familiar with John Roderick.
Apparently, he co-hosted a pod with Ken Jennings.
Yes.
Or does co-host a pod with Ken Jennings.
What's it called?
Omnibus.
And you've listened to it?
Yeah, I listened to it, gosh, a year, two years ago now.
It wasn't very good, honestly.
So I stopped.
Well, here's the tweet that got it going.
This is a long thread, but the macro view is he was doing a jigsaw puzzle,
and his daughter, who is nine, was hungry, got out a can of baked beans,
and he basically told her, let me just read the tweet.
So yesterday my daughter, nine, was hungry, and I was doing a jigsaw puzzle.
So I said over my shoulder, make some baked beans.
I've got a lot of issues here.
She said how? So many issues here.
Like all kids do when they want you to do it, in all caps.
So I said, open a can and put it in a pot she brought me the can and said
open it how and the thread basically goes on it he refuses to help her she finds the can opener
he doesn't show her how it works in like six hours pass she says she hates him she's hungry
he's doing this fucking jigsaw puzzle which let's that's my biggest issue with this entire thing you're not just doing you just put that in there to sound like cool doing a jigsaw
puzzle like hipster yeah like you you don't you weren't doing a jigsaw puzzle you were watching
like office reruns or something you were fucking sitting there scrolling your phone like like
trying to think of what a cool viral tweet would be and guess what bud it worked you found it and
you're not you're not on twitter anymore but yeah, people are really flaming this dude so much so that he deleted his Twitter account.
Here's another tweet.
At this point, she said, I don't want baked beans and marched off.
Apocalypse Dad.
Oh, this is.
Oh, yeah.
Apocalypse Dad went into full The Road mode.
Sweetheart, neither of us will eat another bite today until we get into a can of beans.
She screamed, ugh, like Lucy Van Pelt.
She read a book
for a while so this dude just he didn't just double down on it he like quadrupled down and
he kept going and people are mad about it i get it's kind of a dick movie i mean i'm more him like
chasing clout by posting it that's my biggest issue right it's it's look what my kid didn't do
twitter that i'm saying they did sure you know like it's linkedin debt kind of my kid didn't do Twitter that I'm saying they did. Sure.
You know, like it's LinkedIn debt kind of stuff.
This didn't actually happen as he's tweeting this, but he's tweeting it for the lights and retweets.
Just turns out people are taking it too seriously.
And he's got some pretty anti-Semitic tweets from back in the day.
Yeah, the worst part about all this is somehow not even that he did this.
It's that now he has all these anti-Semitic and like bad tweets that people have now found.
Bad.
Bad.
He uses words that you shouldn't use, Dave.
Oh, no.
Like, bad in the, like, I don't think he is explicitly like, I hate, you know, whoever.
But the way, the verbiage he's
using in his
tweets he uses the bad words he clearly
doesn't care about their impacts
if other people would see that
like that's a tough
scene yeah I've never understood
why people try to make Twitter
content out of their kids
did I tell you what happened to me yesterday
do you have a kid yesterday well my daughter no my daughter to make Twitter content out of their kids. Did I tell you what happened to me yesterday?
Do you have a kid yesterday?
Well, my daughter, no.
My daughter, after they reelected Nancy Pelosi as Speaker,
she was like, why did AOC and the squad vote for Nancy?
And I was like, wow, that's a great question.
I was like, dude, you're only four.
That's crazy that you asked that.
Right.
Yeah.
No, that makes sense, though. You tweeted it, though? Dude, that's cool. No, I should have tweeted it. I think the time dude, you're only four. That's crazy that you asked that. Right. Yeah. No, that makes sense though.
You tweet it though?
Dude,
that's cool.
I should have tweeted it.
I think the time,
damn it.
But yeah,
he,
don't use your kids for clout.
Yeah.
Unless it's dope skiing photos of parks.
I was,
I was actually laying in bed with Rosie last night and she looked over at me and she was like,
well,
yeah.
And I was like,
yes,
talking dog.
And she was like, she was like, yeah. And I was like, yes, talking dog. And she
was like, she was like, why? And I was like, is she okay? Yeah. I was still confused. I was like,
why are you talking? She's like, where does Trump think he's going to find his 11,000 votes? And I
was like, I don't know. I'm not sure. She's worried about that. Yeah. I was like, I'm not
sure Rosie. And she's like, I just listened to that entire hour long phone conversation. She
was really concerned about it. Randy's been showing me some q stuff i'm like dude don't don't get into that he's a big dark
web guy of course i'm talking about our video guy randy oh i don't i don't live with anybody else
or a dog so i i had a silent night you don't have anybody to talk to because the oak closed
that's you're not wrong damn dude you don't have to come at him like that
first episode back in a while i drove by the the other day, and I was like, man, it's still like all the signage is out there.
Signage is still up.
And it's sad.
He's like, oh, that place used to be cool.
I was like, ooh, I sneaky have like an extra, you know, $100 to $200 in my bank account every month.
And I'm like, that's kind of weird.
And I'm like, oh, it's because I don't have the oak anymore.
And I just couldn't go down and pick up a—
Buy some Bitcoin. A Marg and—well, I'm going to pay off my credit oak anymore. And I just couldn't go down and pick up a... Buy some Bitcoin.
A Marg and...
Well, I'm going to pay off my credit card debt.
No, dude.
Buy Bitcoin.
Pay it off with Bitcoin.
Bitcoin will pay it off in the long run.
Got it.
Okay.
This guy tweeted about Bean Dad.
This is PBS for spiders.
Bean Dad denying his daughter a vaccine until she can accurately synthesize one herself.
That's kind of funny.
Can openers are not easy to use.
Okay, so this is a tweet from Matthew Cortland Esquire,
who has to be just an asshole in general
just because he has Esquire in his Twitter.
Twitter handle, yeah.
But it says, one thing about having,
his sentiment here, I support the sentiment
like you shouldn't abuse your kids.
That's a pretty obvious sentiment.
Yeah.
He's saying Bean Dad's behavior was abusive.
If Bean Dad actually did what he said he was doing,
like, okay, maybe not feeding your kid for hours on end
might be considered abuse.
But like one, Bean Dad didn't do all this.
Two, like, it's a can of beans.
The most abusive thing about this
is not having an electric can opener for your child to use as a kid.
My parents immediately bought an electric one so that they wouldn't have to think about this shit when I wanted some mac and cheese or something.
I guess mac and cheese doesn't come out of a can.
Wolf chili.
Soup.
Soup.
A number of things.
SpaghettiOs.
The ravioli SpaghettiOs.
Chef Boyardee.
Those things sound disgusting when you shake them out of the can. Oh, my God.
Oh, that sound.
That's what it sounds like.
That's not how it sounds.
That's exactly how it sounds.
I killed that.
You could super cut that over like an actual person doing it and it would be perfect.
Yeah, people are – I don't know if he's going to come back from this.
I think he could have come back from the Bean Dad thread.
The tweets that have been uncovered are much more cancelable than the fake thread.
What I don't get is why did Ken Jennings have to get dragged into this?
Because he co-hosts.
No, I know, but why...
I'd have everyone in the world that could co-host a podcast with this guy.
Why Ken Jennings?
I know.
Ken Jennings is so loved and so brand friendly,
and then he's just getting dragged by this other idiot.
It's tough.
And Ken defended the dude for the thread,
but Ken didn't defend the dude from the tweets is what I'm gathering here.
Yes.
Yeah.
Ken said that he's,
yeah,
exactly.
No,
you're right.
Sorry.
I just,
I don't know.
You know who would be really,
really mad about being dead?
Is Dylan.
Dylan would hate being dead.
Dylan would not like being dead.
Cause like,
I know Dylan when he,
when Parks wants beans,
he gives him beans.
It's actually the only thing he knows how to cook for Parks.
Yeah.
That's a great point.
Parks is on a bean diet.
He's our little frijole.
I hope Parks gets it.
I hope he catches the ski bug at some point.
He's not going to catch it, dude.
He doesn't like skiing.
It's a bummer.
It is a bummer.
It stinks.
It stinks.
Yeah.
We'll have to get the full story are
we were i can see parks having the same i can see parkers having the exact same attitude that dylan
has like if dylan's not really fucking good at something dylan hates it that's true yeah because
but conveniently for dylan dylan's really good at a lot of things and so like it makes it easy
on him but like i hope i think park's just inherited from that. It's like, no, I'm not going to learn how to do this.
Man, I hope it wasn't, like, the boots hurt too much.
Because that we can get over.
But if it's, like, I just hate the motion.
And, like, I'm terrified of snow.
That's tough to come back from.
Don't you just hate it when you have the boots with the hurt?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do.
Wow.
Yep. I do. Wow. Yep.
I don't know.
I guess we're out on being dead.
Yeah.
I mean, in light of the recent revelations on old tweets, I mean, hopefully he's come
back from it and he's learned from it.
I'm sure he'll apologize and say, look, I was in a bad place.
Who knows?
Who knows what was going on?
Sure.
And let me be clear.
I have not seen
said tweets.
But from what you guys are saying, they're not good.
They're bad. They're opposite of bad.
And there's a lot of them.
It's not just one.
There's a thread here.
This guy's a big thread guy.
The most egregious thing that this guy has done is
act like he's doing a jigsaw puzzle.
Yeah, no one's doing jigsaw.
Get off your high horse.
That was like week four of quarantine.
Get off your high horse.
No one's doing it again.
When everybody had their puzzle phase.
Like, oh, we're doing puzzles.
Look at us.
No one's still doing puzzles this late.
No, everybody's playing Cummingopoly.
Yeah.
Everyone's over it.
Everyone's watching Bridgerton and shit.
Don't act like you're doing a jigsaw puzzle on January 2nd, dude.
Yeah.
What a depressing existence this house sounds like. People doing puzzles and struggling to open cans, dude. Yeah. What a depressing existence his house sounds like.
People doing puzzles
and struggling to open
cans of beans.
Yeah.
Or to take out quesadillas.
His daughter's going to be
on The Bachelor
in like 13 years
and she's going to be like,
yeah, my dad is Bean Dad.
Is she Bean Daughter now?
She's Bean Daughter.
That's a terrible
high school nickname.
I can't even think of anything my parents made me do like this. my parents weren't big like no figured out on your own like they would usually help me if i was like no i straight up don't know
how to do this uh fish hooks that hurt my dad's like now you have to learn how to tie that yourself
my dad knew that i was too much of a wimp to care about uh even fishing enough to touch worms and so
there's no way that my dad was ever going to make me put a worm onto a hook.
Gotcha.
He also knows that I would have cried like a little bitch if I would have like poked myself.
Not even like puncture, but just poked myself.
Yep.
I got to poke.
Take your own fish off the hook.
That was big when you were like nine.
My dad just threw a three iron at me and he's like, figure out the stinger.
Nice.
You put it back in your stance.
You lean forward.
I was like, dad, I just can't.
I can't.
You get lazy on the follow through. I keep chunking it. I'm chili dipping this thing. I was like, Dad, I just can't. I can't. You get lazy on the follow through.
I keep chunking it.
I'm chili dipping this thing.
He's like, no, you got to figure it out.
I'm like, is there like a PDF I can buy to teach me how to hit the shot?
There is.
There is.
I have two.
I love a good portable document format helping me with my swing.
How long is this PDF?
Seven pages.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Visuals?
Yeah.
Drills mostly.
There's three drills, Dave.
Is it double spaced?
Are you going to go to the range tonight?
He made the periods bigger to make it go from six pages to seven pages.
Oh, I know that.
Yeah, he upped that font.
No, but I do have to find a wall because that's drill number one.
Oh, is this the slide down the wall drill.
Dude, you're way too deep
in your swing journey at this point.
I can't go back.
I know.
You know where you went wrong?
You fell too in love with Chasing the Lag.
Chasing the Lag is a young man's game.
That sounds like a dope snowboarder name.
Chasing the Lag.
Chasing the Lag.
I saw Parks out there okay he was not shredding
did frat dave just like hate on parks's lack of shredding yeah i was chasing
i was chasing lag that's a good that's a funny uh name chasing lag that's what you that's you
you're chasing lag it's your golf name that's gonna be my swing journey twitter anonymous
account i don't hate that. I don't hate that.
Yeah.
Well, you're right.
I was chasing too much lag.
Because, I mean, you put a lot of speed on it, but.
I'm too over the top.
I'm too steep.
And I, like, every time I try to fix it, I just revert back to what's comfortable, which is that left shoulder dips.
You revert to what's comfortable.
What I love is that I've made two very, very small and simple changes to my swing
over the last two months, and both have worked out great for me.
No, I have to go ground up at this point.
You're just unraveling.
I have to go ground up.
Can we do a quick game of Stamu cancel?
SMC?
Like Brett's swing?
Brett's swing.
Brett's moves on the ball.
No, we've got some news came across at TL.
Not only have Joe Rogan and Elon Musk begun moving to Austin
or have already moved to Austin.
They're both here.
But we got news that a good friend of the pod,
or as the men in blue say, GFOP,
he kicked off our entire media company.
None other than Chris Harrison is moving to Austin, Texas.
Wow.
Apparently.
Barton Creek.
Have you heard that Elon's apparently buying Kendra Scott's house?
Yeah, I think I did hear that.
Women's jewelry magnate?
Mm-hmm.
Billionaire with a B.
Whoa.
Was not aware of that either.
He's definitely worth more than her though, right?
I don't know.
Elon's number two in the world, isn't he?
Like, dude, electric cars are sick,
but you ever seen jewelry?
Fair.
This says that she's got an estimated net worth
of 500 million, but I was told...
Whatever.
The only thing, the difference between 500 and a billion...
It's like a good day.
Yeah. Like, you're fine the it's the cool title like owning the right amount of dogecoin
also dogecoin imagine have you dabbled in the other cryptos no i haven't
did david i barely dabbled in bitcoin i can't dabble remember dan a couple years ago was like
i'm gonna get into like he was big on litecoin he was big on litecoin as it As it turns out, you could have been big on any of them at that point and invested in
it and you would have been fine.
How are we doing right now?
We were down quite a bit earlier.
Elon Musk, he has a net worth of $153 billion, of which I'd assume a lot of that is in equity.
So his net worth is fluctuating billions of dollars a day.
Yeah, exactly.
So his net worth is fluctuating billions of dollars a day.
Yeah, exactly.
He can be up or down half a percent, and that's like pretty much a billion dollars.
Can I change something to this segment?
Please, sure.
After introducing the segment?
Instead of doing Stan Mew Cancel, can we just do Kickback, Apres, Nosebears?
Sure.
I think that makes more sense.
Okay.
Because I don't want to cancel any of these guys. I think everybody would cancel Elon. Right?
Yeah, I would.
Yeah.
Because I'm mute.
So I think we need to do kickback, apres, no Spears.
Okay.
This is a tough one, but everybody's going to have the same answer for this one.
I don't think so.
Everyone is Chris Harrison apres.
Apres?
Apres?
I am not.
I am actually kicking back with Chris Harrison.
Maybe at the 19th hole, maybe just on the golf course in general,
but he and I are going to have a real low-key good time.
And that reason being is that, like, I don't know.
I don't have the staying power to, like, go super hard with Chris Harrison.
I don't think Chris Harrison is going to want to go super hard with me.
He just wants to golf.
That's true.
Okay.
For me, I was actually going to apres with Rogan.
Because I think Rogan's going to want to do some, like,
backwoods hiking shit to go somewhere dope.
He used to live in Colorado.
And then we're going to go to some really dope-ass lodge,
and he's going to grill up some elk,
and we're going to drink some beers together,
maybe some really good whiskey.
Who knows?
And then I guess I'm doing nose beers with Elon
in, like, the bathroom of, of like otoko or some shit he puts off his loves asian food vibes i mean he
he i could see him just being into like like he has not eaten a piece of sushi that's less than
like a thousand dollars and ever oh that dude's gonna live at uchi he was the otoko boy dude
like 300 of dinner wow swag that's yeah that's a good answer um yeah because that puts me in a He was the Otoko boy, dude. Wow. Like $300 a dinner. Wow. Swag.
Yeah, that's a good answer.
Yeah, because that puts me in a weird spot.
Like, am I doing nosebeards with Joe or Elon?
I think Elon.
Just to get him to...
I mean, we saw what happened when he smoked pot for the first time
or whatever it was on Joe's show.
He almost short-circuited.
I mean, he literally almost lost his job.
Did he inhale?
No, it was a real weak
puff.
It was a freshman year puff.
Yeah, freshman year. It's like you pull a cigar.
Yep.
I do that with weed sometimes because I'm like,
I don't want to get... You know how I get.
You want to look cool, but you don't want to
lose your faculties? Hot tub rut
is how I get when I smoke.
Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Last time a blunt was in my fingers, I took a hit. Lose your faculties? Hot tub rut is how I get when I smoke.
Oh, really?
Last time a blunt was in my fingers, I took a hit past it.
You faked a blunt?
I faked hitting a blunt.
Who were you with?
You were there.
You just didn't know what was happening around the corner.
Was that one in Breck when you almost took your head off?
No.
Oh, man.
No, Breck was, God, Breck, yeah, me slamming my face into the roof didn't exactly bode well.
As if that wasn't the worst part, having to wake up Sally to be like, hey, Will's bleeding from his head after midnight on a trip where everyone's getting a little crazy.
Will looking like Mike Perry.
Yeah, that was tough.
That was tough.
After you had waited outside for 20 minutes because you thought more people were going to join you in the hot tub, right?
That was the shittiest part of that trip.
Me thinking that everyone's getting ready, grabbing beers and stuff.
And then just me realizing, nope, everyone forgot that we were going to the hot tub and I've just been here for 20 minutes.
Kind of peaceful out there, though.
We had a good view of the mountain.
We did. If you're going to be alone in a hot tub, that's probably the hot tub to be alone in.
Who are you to kick backerings, nose beers with?
I think I have the most obvious answer.
Probably the public answer would be kickback with, or excuse me, Opry with Chris.
Kickback with Elon because he's a weird dude and theories abound when he's smoking or slash kickbacking.
And nose beers with Rogan. dude and he theories abound when he's smoking or slash kickbacking and uh nosebeard with rogan because joe's got some some uh he's never done cocaine but i feel like you could get in cool
places to do cocaine with joe like backstage at like a show joe's getting off cocaine like
chapelle right like cool spots you could do. Did I tell you? You know how
him and Chappelle have those shows?
Yeah. I got in
and I was able to get
tickets. Really? But I had to buy
it for a table of six.
And it ended up being
$2,500. And we didn't
ask anybody if they wanted to go.
So I just didn't
risk it. I was like, like dude i don't want to be
holding the bag on these other tickets not to sound super not to sound super normie or anything
but like i i think seeing chapelle live is probably a bucket list thing for me at this point
wow yeah i i know that's kind of normie but like i i do just really want to see him and him him
doing all these live shows in austin and me having hookup, it's just bumming me out.
I also just need to try to get in and get tickets at one point.
I just don't pay attention to that stuff enough.
Agree.
They do, like, you have to get tested, like, there when you get there.
You get the rapid result.
I don't know.
Good.
Free test.
Yeah, it's good.
Let's fucking go.
That's fair.
That would be a bummer.
You drop the bag, though, and it's like, oh, you're positive, dude.
Ooh.
I bet they've got a standby line where, like, that's actually a decent idea to have a standby line if people are just sitting there.
It's like, oh, please be positive.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Look at this.
Dave's, like, walking out positive.
We're like, yes.
Loser.
Fuck you, Dave.
We wouldn't do that.
Tom Herman's positive.
Get out of here, asshole.
Oh, damn.
R.I.P.
I'm just thinking.
He's not dead.
Tommy Ladd. I'm just thinking of people that, like, would be at the R.I.P. I'm just thinking. He's not dead. Tommy Ladd.
I'm just thinking of people that would be at the Chappelle show in Austin.
Instead of watching film.
Yeah.
Clearly wasn't doing that.
What a great birthday gift Tom Herman getting fired was.
Yeah.
I don't even like Texas football that much, but I just hate Tom Herman.
They're now linked to Tom Herman. Was the group text popping?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
It was good.
It was good.
Did you get any cool rumors that came across the group text?
None that I can talk about.
Any wild ones that like definitely not happening?
We're talking about Sally's family group text right now, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
They don't get that deep in that.
Oh.
They don't get too deep in the rumors and stuff.
Anybody trying to get a lease on a new apartment?
I don't know.
Maybe a real estate development or something new apartment? I don't know. Maybe a real estate development, something like that.
I don't know.
I did see Urban Meyer at the hotel where Stanley and I did our staycation.
Oh.
They've already said it's Sarkeesian.
No, I saw Urban Meyer there.
Wow.
Yeah.
He's apparently going to be-
You're breaking news here.
He's going to be offensive coordinator for Sarkeesian.
I don't know if that's going to work.
No, I talked to him at the bar.
You can develop a quarterback, though. I talked to him at the bar. He can develop a quarterback, though.
I talked to him at the bar.
It's pretty cool.
Wow.
He didn't seem like he'd be that cool to talk to.
No.
On my list of coaches to talk to, Urban Meyer is not at the top.
He's a dickhead.
He just seems like he would have a big bag of nothing.
He'd be a terrible guy to golf foursome with.
He seems like he would be condescending.
Yeah.
Like he'd pat you on the head
or he'd just be like a dickhead right like he he's definitely not giving you any putts
no he is just a nothing bird around the conversation he won't tell any stories
give me mac brown if i'm gonna have a coach in my foursome give me steve spurrier okay we talked
about this at the ranch this week.
Great.
Spurrier is a good one.
Yeah, head ball coach.
Right.
Matt Brown was another one who I said, but I don't know.
Also married to a Sally.
Sally Brown.
Sally.
Fun fact.
Mustang Sally.
I saw somebody, David Pollack tweeted that Sarkisian turned the job down.
Did you guys see that?
Yeah, I did see that.
Boy, he did not look good.
Did not age well.
Somebody, the first response to the tweet was, well, that guy in North Carolina is pretty good.
Ha!
A lot of people were making that joke.
I wish we had a little Mac in here.
Whatever.
Speaking of Mac, if I do a modern market order, does anybody want anything?
No.
Yeah, I'll take you up on that.
Can we talk about stamps.com real quick?
Please.
Smoked chicken.
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than it is to a residence. I didn't know that. A lot of people don't realize that when you try to send something somewhere, you send it to a business. It's cheaper to send it to a business than it is to a residence.
I didn't know that.
A lot of people don't.
You're paying this surcharge.
You're just getting killed on it.
I'll say it.
I've used Stamps.com numerous times in my life.
When I was sending out Scaries t-shirts just on my grind, just sitting there, just doing it,
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I didn't have to go to the post office with a bunch of packages, dump them out there.
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That's always valuable to you. It's no wonder that
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Boom.
Let's get to what everybody tuned in for.
People want to hear it.
You know, there's a lot of times that we do things in this studio or in a former studio where this has actually originated
that, you know, you never know if they're going to catch on.
For example, when the word swipes was thrown out for the first time,
I was like, man, that is not going to stick.
You can run the tape on that.
I had no faith in swipes.
Little did I know, I'm still putting Schweips and Schweips up on Instagram
to this day.
It's kind of annoying.
You have to remember, is it S-H-S-C-A-I?
It's very confusing.
S-W? I do S-H-W
now, but that's just me. I like that.
Well, as you know, as everyone knows,
Wilmont's, the formerly hypothetical
restaurant, has actually turned into
an actual restaurant now that has been a real bitch to maintain.
I don't know how you're juggling all these things.
Dude, it's been difficult.
It's been difficult.
We had to shut down over the holidays.
We said it was because of COVID, but honestly, it was just because Ty didn't show up to work anymore.
Yeah.
I'd be dead.
But luckily, we've got a listener out here.
His name, he goes by Barry Rigby.
Hey, Barry.
And Barry did something that I can wholeheartedly say
absolutely blew me away.
Sally watched me when I first started listening
to this Wilmonds theme song,
and my smile could not have been bigger.
I was in awe.
I immediately played it for the whole
ranch. Yes. I was...
When I saw it,
and I saw the SoundCloud,
first I was like, oh no, is this guy doing a podcast?
I was like, is this a Wilmont's podcast that someone's just randomly doing?
And no, luckily it was not that.
No, it was the perfect song.
A minute 36 seconds might be the perfect song length.
I think Kanye did that on his album that he did in Wyoming.
But I don't even know what to do other than just, I guess, press play and let the people decide.
Let's hear it, man.
Are we ready?
Run it back.
I'm a little worried it's going to be too loud, so I'm going to ease in.
Welcome, y'all.
Wash Media in the house.
It's happy hour, baby.
Let's go
When the Texas sun
Is just too hot to bear
When you need a cold drink
Yeah, you know you can find it here
Where the price is right
The tide is never wrong
Three little birds Dark rum floaters all day long.
Welcome to Wilmot.
Austin's finest tiki bar and ocean grill.
Welcome to Wilmot.
Come on down, drink on up, get your fill.
Welcome to Wilmot.
The breeze is always cool and the deals are always hot. Welcome to Wilmot. The breeze is always cool
and the deals
are always hot.
Welcome to
Wilmot.
Born in the sun,
happy hour,
around the clock,
clock, clock.
Welcome to
Wilmot.
That's what you
hear.
Your family.
Come on. Yeah. Go. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Your family.
Come on.
Yeah.
Go.
Dave killing a wheel in the house.
Brett and Randy too.
Come on.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Look what you did, you little jerk.
Wow. Wow.
Unbelievable.
See?
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Speechless.
Yeah.
Speechless.
Like, it surpassed my expectations, which were very high.
If someone tells me they made a song about Wilmonds, I need to have high expectations for that song.
Because it needs to be a heater.
Right.
I literally can't imagine a better song than what Barry did for us here.
He just went off.
He just went absolutely off.
He's on SoundCloud.
Soundcloud.com slash Barry dash Rigby.
Oh, my word. Is he a musician by trade?
What's the story?
He has to be, right?
Like, what?
He was good.
He was good.
He wasn't like karaoke good, too.
He was like good good.
Dude, absolute heat coming from Barry.
It feels good.
And to be honest, when we can finally go out and do stuff and we do like a Wilmont party and everything,
I can't wait to throw in the trap remix of that and just go absolutely crazy with the boys.
Dude, that's going to set it off.
Do you think this is the next Mo Bamba?
I'm going to hit Barry with that follow on the ground.
We need a team man to chime in.
This might be the next Mo Bamba.
For him to do that and not go full Chet Hanks, I mean, just
shout out to you, Barry. Yeah.
It's a fine line you've walked, sir. No, you did it right
though. We don't do what Chet Hanks does.
We don't appropriate here. You think
Chet Hanks will remix that though?
If Chet Hanks feels like remixing it, I will give him
the opportunity to remix it. But yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know. I'm speechless don't know i'm speechless i'm happy
for the i'm just so happy i can't i i can't believe how good that is and i want i can just
picture like the music video welcome to wilmonds for the entire rest of the day sally got so
annoyed with me just going welcome to wilmonds it. It's perfect. It is. It's perfect.
I like the laugh at the beginning.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha.
Brett and Randy, too.
He got us.
Man. Man.
That's going to be, like, when we do have a meetup with that song, it's just going to be lit.
I better be, I want to feel like, I want to feel like.
Should we get Barry live?
I want Fred feel like – should we get Barry live?
I want Fred Durst.
Like when Fred Durst was crowd surfing on a piece of wood at Woodstock 99,
that's what I want to be doing at our next meetup while Welcome to Wilmonds plays.
But it's just like a kayak?
Yeah, it's just like a really – it's just a paddle board.
Yeah, from a tiki.
It's just a stand-up paddle board.
Oh, man. Should we do Breath-breaking news welcome to will mons i thought i think dave had a point did you have something no okay i just
i now that's it's just ingrained in my head it is it is and he had like the people in the back
ready to sing it too perfect very good perfect well as a matter of fact well i have some breaking
news if you were wondering uh since's not here, I usually ask him
Dave, would you like to go Celine Dion, cocaine, or the Buffalo Sabres?
Ooh
Give me cocaine
How tight does doing coke at a Sabres game with Celine Dion sound?
That would be sick
Like she does the Canadian National Anthem
And then she goes off and then you're just hanging with her.
Are you doing blow with Celine?
Yeah.
Off Celine?
Never mind.
Randy, can you help me out here?
More like saline.
Is it slashed down?
Slashed down, but I texted it and emailed you.
Nice.
Perfect.
Perfect.
That's good.
That's good.
You want to do Sabes first?
Yeah, we'll do Sabes real quick. It's just. Perfect. That's good. That's good. You want to do Sabres first? Yeah, we'll do Sabres real quick.
It's just some sports news in general.
One, Anthony Lynn, Chargers, gone.
Adam Gase, Jets, gone.
Let's see.
I had another one that I forgot, but the Buffalo Sabres are back on the ice, Dave.
They're back on the ice.
Scrimmage today.
They're projected to finish
fifth out of seventh
in their division,
but we'll see how it goes.
Just excited.
That is some true
Brett's breaking news
Buffalo Sabres.
Hockey is back.
Hockey is back.
And the Bills are on fire.
Nobody wants to see the Bills.
No.
Nobody.
No.
Well, they're in a position
like they're second.
I mean, they got the two seed.
Obviously nobody wants to see the Bills.
I don't want to see the Titans, though.
I'm afraid of the Titans.
I think they beat the Ravens and then go head-to-head with the Bills.
If that's even possible, based on seedings.
Ooh, it's going to be fun.
Can't wait to tune in to Nickelodeon.
Yeah, they got that game, which is...
That's the Doug theme song, for wondering do you think the beats will play
halftime banging on a street light no banging on a trash can strumming on a street light
speaking of bands you see the who's the dude from uh who's the dude that died in your favorite band?
Eve Six?
No.
No, Eve Six is alive and well, right?
They were tweeting.
It was like Bob Seger Band or something.
Oh, the saxophonist died from Bob Seger.
Yep.
Rest in peace.
Sorry about that.
I'm not sure what happened, but Sally broke that news to me.
Also, the Midge from That 70s Show.
Also, Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island.
Man.
Do we have any more celebrity deaths over the... Oh, Floyd Little.
Bronto's running back.
From Love Island, you said?
Gilligan's Island.
Did you really...
Come on.
You guys stop watching that.
You guys stop watching that.
I just started season three UK.
They're smoking cigs in this one now.
Oh, boy.
Good. It's tight. Let's go. No, they just started season three UK. They're smoking cigs in this one now. Oh, boy. Good.
It's tight.
Let's go.
No, they literally wake up.
Some demi-cigs?
They wake up, and they go get a bowl of cereal, and then they go to the cig smoking section,
and they're just sitting there blasting cigs.
They clearly had them clean up for the rest of the seasons after that.
They don't smoke as many.
But it's just hilarious seeing a bunch of people just sitting around a fire blasting cigs.
It's very hilarious.
I love it.
Randy, you ready?
Okay.
Back to cocaine. I love it. Randy, we ready? Okay. Back to cocaine.
Cocaine news.
This man tried to smuggle $34,000 worth
of cocaine under his toupee.
Tampa, Florida.
Colombian man was detained in Barcelona
after he reportedly tried to smuggle
$34,000 worth of cocaine under a
poorly fitted toupee.
I just don't understand how you can walk out the door
and be like yeah crushed it
he got on a plane like this
police were first alerted to the man
on a flight from Bogota on June 18th
and he appeared nervous
okay
what did they
okay so people saw him and were like oh he's acting suspicious
he's making people uneasy
I think they just saw his weird head
if I saw a weird head guy on the plane, even if I – like part of me is like, man, there's probably some blow under that toupee.
Yeah.
I'm not – don't narc.
Flying from Colombia to Barcelona and you see that, you're like, yeah, that dude's got some coke on.
I feel like it's just not worth it.
Put it on his biceps.
Like, yeah, that dude's got some coke on him.
I feel like it's just not worth it.
Put it on his biceps.
I feel like it's just not worth flying from Colombia to Barcelona with that.
That's not that much coke in hindsight.
I know it's $35,000 worth, but the risk there of putting it under the two pages doesn't feel worth it to me.
What do you think he's getting, like 10%?
Probably not.
Probably less than that.
No, he's probably getting not killed.
Yeah. They told him 10% and they're like Probably less than that. No, he's probably getting not killed. Yeah.
Why didn't he just keister it?
They told him 10% and they're like, oh, yeah, sorry.
We're just not going to shoot you.
If I were him, I would have keistered it.
You got to put that in your butt.
You got to.
You got to.
Man, that's a big. It's not very often that the best course of action is putting it up your butt, but in
this scenario, I think it might have been.
Or tape it.
Just tape it to your taint.
Just put it on your stomach.
Yeah, your stomach, too.
How does he get through security?
Put it on a fat suit.
How does he get through security with, like, that on his head, though?
I just don't get it.
They superglue it.
Poor guy.
Or...
So, hold on.
So, you're telling me that the reason that the cocaine is on his photo in these right now
is because it's superglued to his head and they can't get it off.
That's tough. Mega tough scene.
What I would have done is I would have done all the
cocaine, flown to
Barcelona, and then
human decanted it back out.
Boom. With Salt Dave?
Mm-hmm.
Salt Dave. Nice.
Salt Dave has legs. You want the Celine Dion
news, Will? I do.
A Staffordshire man.
Where's Staffordshire?
It's a little tiny village that Matthew Stafford set up right outside of Detroit.
Got it.
Staffordshire man has reportedly changed his name to Celine Dion following a night of intoxication.
30-year-old man, Dave.
He went by Thomas Dodd. Was a huge fan of the singer. 30-year-old man, Dave, he went by Thomas Dodd,
was a huge fan of the singer.
D-Dodd.
Got blitzed at a Staffordshire pub
and changed his name to Celine Dion legally.
Was it really easy to change your name in England?
Yeah, wait.
Apparently?
I feel like that's one that he had many outs.
You can't
just walk down to the name change store and change your name not a drunk tattoo yeah sally's been
changing her name lately and i gotta i gotta admit it's real bitch must be easy oh england
not sally the process of changing your name what would sally change her first name to
wilmon wilmon defries Welcome to Wilmon's.
Or Wilma.
Wilmommy.
Ooh.
Wilmommy and then short Wilma.
He even paid for eight extra name change certificates to prove that's real.
All right, we get it, dude.
You changed your name.
He wanted to send each one to his boy?
Yeah.
I got to say, of all the pop star divas
to change your name to,
Celine is probably
at the bottom of my list.
Why?
I'm going Rihanna
above all.
I'm going Rihanna or Mariah.
Did you see Mariah
on New Year's Eve?
I didn't.
Oh, buddy.
Is she all right?
Was she hammered again?
No.
Sadly, no.
Well, Dylan's going to change his to Gaga.
Gaga Chiviri?
Mm-hmm.
I think the easy way out here is just to go by, because he's a man,
just go by Dion.
He's Dion Selene.
That's a better homage, and you get less questions.
Dion Selene might be a great
wide receiver name.
I would love that.
Give me cornerback, actually.
Corner. He's a shutdown.
Deion Selene just seems fast
and flashy. I like it.
Imagining the Gus Gasm,
I'm like, Deion Selene
on the Red River. We'reim on the Red River.
Oh.
We're here at the Red River.
I miss Gus.
Is he doing college basketball yet?
Probably.
I have not watched a lot of college basketball.
I heard he joined Strictly Primary League in 2021.
I would tune in.
Yeah.
He did MMA for a time.
I think he did early UFC.
He did slam ball for a time.
Really?
Highly recommend.
I was doing some Snapchat.
Some Snapchat.
It's not Snapchat.
That's something else.
And I noticed, so they're doing like, they're trying to feed you like publishers and stuff.
There's something called like Fightball.
Like it's Cosmo.
It's Cosmopolitan.
Yes.
They're still volume shooting on Snapchat.
I think so.
I think they are. But there's something called Fightball, Fightball. Like, it's Cosmopolitan. Yes. They're still volume shooting on Snapchat. I think so. I think they are.
But there's something called Fightball that they want me to watch.
It's just like, I think it's just like a regular sport, but with just more fist fights.
The name alone, like, I'm kind of in.
I might be in.
This might be.
Fightball?
Like, that sounds kind of great.
Let's look into this.
I kind of wish Dodgeball went more mainstream, you know?
Yeah, but it's not as cool.
It'd be better if it was mainstream without dudes who are professionally trained in dodgeball
because they have their weird little things.
It'd be better if you just had dudes that were super competitive.
Okay, Dave, I'm sorry.
I have to stop saying what I was saying to Brett.
I am on the Fightball website right now.
Found it? It might be something that I'm the most all have to stop saying what I was saying to Brett. I am on the Fightball website right now. You found it?
It might be something that I'm the most all in on ever.
It's fighting plus basketball equals Fightball.
It's just one-on-one in like a warehouse.
This looks sick.
In the warehouse.
This might be the one thing that gets me to download Snapchat again.
I don't know if it's that.
Can I have your login so I don't have to it's that Can I have your No Can I have your login
No
So I don't have to reactivate
No
I feel like that would just be
A hassle
Their merch sucks though
Do we have any other breaking news
We should do pod ball
Where you have to do a podcast
And then score
Just podcasters
One on one
We need lav mics
We need headsets
Yeah that's tough
You're recording a pod
While you're doing one on one
Think about it Think about it, Brett. Think about it.
Big picture. It would just be heavy breathing.
Yeah, probably. Welcome to
Wilmots. Welcome
to Fightball.
Should we just outro this pod with that?
Maybe. I don't have it up anymore, but we
could. Oh, okay. I don't have any more breaking news,
so maybe not.
That's okay. There's some conspiracy stuff
if you want to get into that. I have to be honest. It feels good to be
back. It's good
to be back. It feels
so good.
Should we get out of here? Who's going to do the Dylan
goodbye? Are you guys ready for this?
This happened last time.
We all got really rattled.
Who exits the pot?
We got Bachelor tomorrow.
Bachelor tomorrow.
Did you pull Trey on Modern Market? I did. Fuck yes. We got Bachelor tomorrow. Bachelor tomorrow. Did you pull trade
on Modern Market?
I did.
Fuck yes.
Should be here
in about 10 minutes.
Wow.
Let's go.
So that means like 20
and you're going to have to
go to the side of the highway
to find it.
Yes.
Cool.
Absolutely.
All right, guys.
It's been real.
Bye-bye.
See you.
Oh, welcome, y'all.
Wash media in the house.
It's happy hour, baby.
Let's go.
When the Texas sun is just too hot to bear.
When you need a cold drink, yeah, you know you can find it here.