Circling Back - Wiesn Koks in the Matt El Rancho's Bathroom
Episode Date: June 3, 2024Licking the wounds from Brett's 30th birthday bash, we ordered wiesn koks to the office, Tiger Woods looking extra Vegas-y, the viral Matt El Rancho's clip, space pirates, USPS's dog bite rankings, an...d some British abbreviations to prep for Love Island. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (17:25) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (32:50) Matt El Rancho’s (38:25) Office Wiesn Koks (47:00) Tiger & Phil Ivey (52:30) Space Bar: Space Piracy Conference (59:45) Dog Bite Rankings (1:03:00) Abbreves Will Is Going To Start Using in Summer 2024 Support This Episode’s Sponsors Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (enter your email for discount on site!) Squarespace: www.squarespace.com/steam (STEAM for 10% off your purchase of a website or domain) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com/circlingback (4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale — code CIRCLINGBACK) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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all right we're back circling back podcast monday my name is will defries to my left, David Ruff. I was just thinking how funny it would be
if Brett Merriman, 30-year-old Brett Merriman, happy birthday to him, happy belated,
went out to West Texas, out Pecos Way, to check in on his property. He owns a little bit of land
out there. He's never seen it, but when he does go to see it there's squatters on it no not like a squat rack that'd be dope if they're backers no i want it to be like
a hippie i want it to be like a bunch of hippies that have just set up shop there and they ain't
leaving they set up a little commune yeah like nah this is ours now buddy nope we've been here
for months they've they've possessed his property adversely and now he's got
to go through like the hoops and beck all right how do i what's going on here i want it to look
like burning man but it was burning man from like 1989. okay burning man from 1989 but bernie madoff
is there think about that yeah any questions yeah like why are you here with my first one he's not alive how'd you get
here he's been unalive right yeah yeah he's dead he's dead for sure famously tried to kill himself
with sleeping pills and then woke up tough one tough one that's the worst yeah he and his wife
decided that they were going to take a bunch of sleeping pills i think take a bunch of ambient
and then they both woke up. Oh, yeah.
They just did weird shit.
I remember that from the movie.
Yeah.
I made a Bernie Madoff. I did a Bernie Madoff tweet one day about a fit that he had after he died.
Without doing any research about Bernie Madoff.
People did not like it.
Yeah.
I didn't do the research about the ripple effects of the financial devastation that he had caused these other families.
They were mad that he ripped off Kevin Bacon.
Kevin Bacon lost a lot of money, which isn't funny,
but it's funny that his name is Kevin Bacon.
See, it's a Ponzi scheme, Randy.
It was a Ponzi scheme.
I remember this tweet.
Was it a fire fit though?
I think it was a good fit.
It was a good fit.
Like he had good style, but yeah,
the way that the tweet was presented at the time uh during that conversation
surrounding bernie madoff it just wasn't as well received as you would have thought you know what
sometimes you can separate the fit from the man you yeah like if he likes like for example some
people are some people talk about epstein's fits not me but i've heard people talk about him
look he's got that classic late 80s rich dude riz big on monograms yeah a little over
overkill on the monogram loves a chunky sweatshirt wants people to know who he is which is kind of an
interesting he he did love a sweatshirt from uh from ivy league schools that he never graduated
from as well yes kind of just vibes um now i think you were good that tweet if i remember correctly
was fine.
No, I think I actually remember asking you about it and you being like, okay, yeah, you're fine.
I definitely deleted it, though.
It wasn't.
Was that during the really sensitive era of Twitter
when everyone was offended by everything?
I think it was, but it wasn't like you...
You didn't post like a war criminal.
No.
Yeah, he just robbed people, basically.
Kevin Bacon.
In a way.
Love Kevin Bacon.
Hate Footloose.
That's the thing about me.
I don't think I've ever seen Footloose.
Remember he showed his crank in that one movie?
Yep.
Kevin Bacon did.
But it wasn't Footloose.
Now, New Kids on the Block had a lot of hits.
What are you laughing about, Randy? Him doing lyrics lyrics i don't think you guys realized it oh oh what i didn't are you doing m&m lyrics
chinese food makes me sick oh you're doing until he until he did the new kids then i
but before that i was lost dude i'm crazy like that. Rest in peace, Rich. Wow, dude. Rest in peace.
Oh.
Yeah.
Cancer.
Yeah, don't know who that is, but that's sad to hear.
Rich of the light, funky ones, also more popularly known as LFO.
They pioneered the hit Summer Girls.
He passed away recently.
Oh, that's too bad.
They just thought it was fly when girls would stop by for the summer.
I think so too.
I think my life changed in ways that I can't grasp now when that song did come out.
Like that changed the trajectory of summer.
It solidified Abercrombie and Fitch as being like the stuff.
It really decided a lot of things for me going forward.
Can I guess the year?
You can.
I think you'll get it
right 1998 i was gonna say 99 dave was correct 1999 i was close i'm in the ballpark yeah i remember
i was talking to a girl that summer who wore epicrampian fitch oh and i was like dude i'm
doing the song i'm doing the song. I'm doing the song, boys.
Bro, your life is a song.
Dude, baby, you're a song.
You make me want to roll my windows down and cruise.
Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen.
Man, I'm still licking my wounds from Saturday.
Your boy doesn't drink like that very often anymore,
but he got into one.
He tied one on?
I saw Dylan at like 6.55.
Party started at 6. Most people arrived a little after 6.30.
I saw Dylan walking through the bar at 6.55,
mixing in a water already.
I was like, come on, dog.
I'm proud of myself.
Near the end of the night, I shut it down like I usually do.
I got that governor that kicks in.
Hey, man.
Hey.
It's time to downshift a little bit.
Quit drinking there, buddy.
Calm down, lad.
No more drinking, Dawn.
Birthday boy presents me with a shot.
I was proud of myself for turning it down.
Oh, come on.
That is so lame.
Don't pat yourself on the back on this podcast for turning down a shot from our employee
who we love very much.
You don't bring me a shot at the end of the night when your boy's been drinking all frigging day.
Was it Wednesday's episode?
You're like, I'm going to get annihilated.
I'm going to get annihilated.
No, but I had that governor that was telling me
I couldn't drink anymore.
This is like 11 o'clock, man.
I've been drinking since 4.30.
No, that's a lie.
I've been drinking since like 2.
Oh, dude.
I had champagne by the pool.
Okay.
That's fast.
Okay.
Do you have any cake by the ocean after that?
No.
What the fuck? Me and Chelsea, we had cake by the ocean after that no what the fuck me me and charleston
we had champagne by the pool man champagne by the pool don't do anybody i will never get over
the 55 year old lady at grand x who pulled in in her car blasting cake by the ocean
so loud that i it was just like what you us? No, she worked for just some other company.
That's some choogy shit right there.
It was unbelievable.
She took her Toyota RAV4, slammed into the parking spot, opened the door, and it was just going full blast.
She's about to crush a meeting.
She had a presentation that she was about to just fuck up.
It's over.
It's over for everyone.
That's so embarrassing.
It's so bad.
Bad.
Dude, I worry that my car, you can hear the audio mine mine is audio hearable
i need to like i need to put it at my normal volume and stand outside of the car someday
and test it out because i always get worried that like someone with their window down is
gonna be like can you turn that shit down listen to james blunt just full blast ain't no shame in
that dude y'all used to make fun of me for it i've been on a take all that shit back i've been
on a seal kick lately after that episode of Do You Know It, a game show podcast.
No one is on a seal kick.
Oh, no.
55-year-olds who are living good, drinking expensive wine, just making love every night.
Yeah.
To seal.
They have a wine cellar in their giant Scottsdale mansion, and they don't know what kind of
wine's in there, but they know it's expensive.
They got seal on the Sonos throughout the whole house?
Yeah.
That's who is keeping Sonos in business.
Yep.
Yep.
The 55 to 65 demographic that like kids are gone.
Their millennial kids set the Sonos up for them.
Yep.
And it's just, it's running very smoothly.
And now they're just making love listening to Seal.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Maybe a little Rod Stewart mixed in there.
Nothing wrong with Rod Stewart.
Randy, have you had a bunch of people recommend Sonos to you in your vinyl journey?
Or have you not been public enough about your vinyl journey?
I haven't been public enough in my vinyl journey.
No one's recommended anything to me.
People keep recommending Sonos to me.
I'm like, that's not the – they're wireless speakers.
That's not the point.
Isn't the point of – like it's all to be like connected and physical.
Also, Sonos, they just don't work. No. Okay. I will ride for Sonos. the point isn't the point of right like it's all to be like connected and physical also sonos that
just don't work no okay i will ride for sonos the one sonos sound system that i had in my apartment
worked flawlessly there was about a one second delay if you'd skip a song it wasn't immediately
gratifying but once i got it set up it worked great there's too many times i'm at someone's
house and i got sonos like yeah i can't get it
to connect now we're just going with the bluetooth i'll just play it for you i'll play it for my
jbl don't slight the guy at uh pizzeria sportiva he was having some trouble with his
sound system he was talking through it with the the bar the barkeep there i'm telling you there
was something about the versions of those songs they were playing that were not right yeah they were not the original version he said something like
when we when we play this it basically kills one of the tvs like it occupied like it runs
through the tv so you can't watch anything on it if they play music at the same time
something like that yeah yeah i think i gotta fix that yeah there's no bigger beating than
being at a bar and asking them to change the channel. And suddenly you see them like on the menu flipping around.
And then they go to like,
they can't find it on the regular menu
because they have 750 channels.
And then they go to the search and you're like,
oh, it's going to take forever if they search this.
No one's ever, no one searches sports games.
That's the first thing I do at every bar I go to.
I just, I belly up, order a beer and I ask,
can you put on a game?
Yeah.
Put the game on.
All right, game on. What channel? It's like, oh, find a way. can you put on a game? Yeah. Put the game on. All right, game on.
What channel?
She's like, I'll find a way.
I don't know.
You have satellite.
I don't know.
You have 12,000 channels.
I don't know how it translates.
Yeah.
Do we get, and she like looks back, do we get ESPN2?
Or do we get, no, it's not ESPN University.
Do we get that?
And it's like, oh.
We're not going to get the game, are we?
Yeah.
We're not going to get Texas State SFA. Yeah, we're not gonna get the game are we yeah we're not gonna get uh
texas state sfa yeah we're gonna miss the first three innings
we're gonna have our phone against the napkin stand for just a little bit here that's a new bit
really nice bars that clearly don't even have tvs just be like you gotta go put the game yeah
can you put the game can you just get the audio on i'm worried about that place
why because we were the only people in there yeah at 12 30 for lunch we're the only people in there
dylan only ate three-fourths of his pizza i did i ate my entire pizza as did randy i left
satisfied what do you want from me y'all do zock hard pizza lunch on friday we did that's what's
up we tried sportiva you sound like you're really hot on it. Do an ad read for Sportiva right now.
Sportiva.
No, the little bar is like...
That would be sick if you did every ad read.
Should Dylan start doing more?
The little bar scene in there is kind of cool.
It's like a tiny little place, a little cozy bar with like maybe six bar stools.
And it's cool.
They have Guinness on tap.
Do they have like...
Do they have Peroni on tap? I'm shifting into Per on tap do they have like do they have peroni on tap
i'm shifting into peroni mode i don't think they have peroni on tap that would have caught my
attention okay each barstool though is like a different barstool character themed is there one
for barstool chugs chugs is there randy was sitting on chugs cool that's cool well if you
sit out there you have to have at least five beers okay yeah that makes sense so he was just
pounding that makes sense i enjoyed it the peach is quality it's just i don't know does it have italia boy summer vibes
both the bartender and the owner who was sitting there they both told us make sure we we douse the
pizza with the olive oil that had olive oil that had sitting on the counter how'd it go for you
it's like you had to put the olive oil on it i did it did add a little some i i have
acquired some some olive oil that's specifically made for pizza and we use it about half the time
mostly because we forget that we have it and i will say i really enjoy it i'm okay with oiling
the pizza it is a good move yeah this is a olive oil plus there's some other things in there this
the one that i have is infused with a touch of jalapeno it's more of a flavor play than a spice play it's a collab garlic and something
else he said i forgot you know what i've really been freaking with lately a little spicy honey
on that za i love that i love that move you're wild ass love it they have it at a pine house
where you often buy pizza from on the company card. And you also bring it into the office.
Leftovers.
Which somehow offended y'all that I tried to give y'all pizza.
I don't know.
It's a backhanded offer.
Take this giant ass pizza box off out of my fridge.
It's a sneaky sketch move.
I don't want to eat pizza the next two days move.
So I bring it here for y'all.
Why? It's the same transaction.
But you would never do this if you worked at an office without us in the office.
You would never like be like,
hey guys, I brought in half of my pizza.
If I was as comfortable around them as I am you guys,
and yeah, I would.
I think somebody ate it too.
I think Randy probably ate it.
It wasn't me, I was kind of put off
that I still had a bite taken out of one of the slices.
No one didn't.
That's such a trash move.
Get rid of the slice. You're disgusting.
You're disgusting. What's going on? You can see the imprints from the pepperonis that he had taken off the slices. We didn't. That's such a trash move. Get rid of the slice. You're disgusting. You're disgusting.
What's going on?
You can see the imprints from the pepperonis that he had taken off the top.
Also, I noticed something else about Dylan.
Dylan doesn't eat his crust.
I don't eat crust.
Same.
I have a couple bites of crust.
Okay.
To be fair, I will eat crust, but if my dog is next to me whining for it, I will usually
give the crust to her.
It just feels like such an empty carb play for me. I don't know.
See, that's why you gotta dip it in that oil, though.
Maybe get some hot honey in the mix.
Maybe you do stuffed crust pizza.
Yeah. If I'm eating crust,
it's gonna be stuffed crust. I always need to remind
myself when it's stuffed crust pizza time, like,
hey, dude, just don't go for that extra
slice at the end. It's one of the perks of a Detroit
style. It's just got the thin little outer layer
that's really crunchy
and good.
I'm just not a crust guy.
But the thing is
the entire pizza
is on a bed of crust
basically.
I know,
but you're getting
your bang for your buck
with every bite.
Every bite has got
the good stuff on it.
Can you just enjoy
the pizza?
Enjoy the food.
I love the area of crust
that is between the cheese
but still has sauce on it
and not yet dry crust.
I love that area. I live in that area. It's the pizza taint. Oh, yeah. And not yet dry crust. Like, I love that area.
I live in that area.
It's the pizza taint.
Mm-hmm.
Dude.
We're not doing pizza taint.
When you nibble down
at the pea tank, dude,
it's over.
What would you prefer?
It's such a good bite, though.
It's moist.
It's moist from the sauce,
but it's...
I'm not sure I understand
what's part of the pizza
you're talking about.
It's the pizza taint.
Well,
I was trying to explain this.
Wait,
where between the crust and the cheese ends,
snowman's land.
And then there's,
yeah,
then there's the little dusting of sauce as you enter the full crust area.
Okay.
It's soft.
Maybe a little,
oh,
it's,
it's the pizza taint,
dude.
Yeah.
It's great.
But if you,
if you bite too much of the taint off, then you're just left with the dry crust,
and you can't have that.
Dylan, before you even ask, yes, that counts as playing your taint card.
We're not doing pizza taint.
You actually get two per week of those, so you don't have to worry about it too much.
That's good to know.
You've been granted an extra card.
Got it.
Got it.
Your request has been seen through by the staff.
You've been issued a hardship. Got it, got it. Your request has been seen through by the staff.
You've been issued a hardship.
Good grief.
Quick announcement.
I shot 30 under on Friday.
I want to get that in there.
What, on Dylan's track house, or was this during real spinner hours?
This was during real spinner hours.
I shot a 30 under.
Dave and Randy were here to witness it.
That was my personal record. All-time low, 30 under dave and randy we're here to witness it as my personal record all-time low 30 r was he nervous did he have shake voice as he was on 18 like i would if
i had just needed like a bogey to get out honestly i set myself up for a pretty easy eagle putt on
18 okay we got on video yeah it's good was he cocky he was like he's like i this is gonna be
a long putt we had to wait for for Dave to get out of the bathroom.
He was taking a Mondo.
He was going Mondo in there.
Big facts.
Yeah.
Dylan, I've had numerous people reach out to me and ask,
like, hey, just as an aside to Dylan's track house,
how did he get so good?
How?
Yeah.
There was a golden team machine at Meenat Cat,
and people just demanded that I hop on the sticks oh yeah
once it was once it was made known that you that there was a golden team machine it was it was over
yeah speaking of bro let's go out this weekend there's a crazy event happening i like to turn
on road road road there's a crazy event happening let's just go have fun and let's go a little bit
recapping this weekend and fun presented by our friends over at row back Have fun, and let's go with it. Let's go.
Recapping this weekend in fun presented by our friends over at Roebuck.
I've been robed out lately.
Roebuck, don't, don't, don't.
We've had an unusually warm spring. I don't want you to do that, buddy.
And as we enter summer, and I have to say, Roebuck has come up clutch.
I brought their bathing suit on vacation recently.
You can't get me out of their bathing suit by the way it is the most comfortable bathing suit i've ever i put it on and i was
just like uh yeah this is coming with me the lining is go to elite goated go kid i went
played golf the other day not to ruin this weekend and fun, but yeah, robed out.
Randy's wearing a rollback right now, Chicago style.
Call him a dog.
I got the lupas on.
On my butt cheeks right now.
Everyone's flexing right now. I got the shots on.
Hell yeah, dude.
Shawty get low.
Washed 20.
Washed 20.
Get you 20% off at checkout.
Load the cart.
It is a one-time use code.
Washed 20. Dylan, what'd you do this weekend at checkout. Load the cart. It is a one-time use code. Washed 20.
Dylan, what'd you do this weekend?
Ooh, thanks, Will.
Thanks for asking.
Friday, stayed in
because I knew Saturday
was going to be a big day.
Chels came over.
We had a little cooked dinner
and had some still rosé.
We watched a movie.
Still rosé.
Yeah, because I cooked salmon i cooked okay obviously we need to know the methodology of this salmon it's the one that
i've been talking about it's uh the asian the asian glazed baked salmon that i i braille at
the end get a little little crisp on top and it's really it's so easy and really good um
also roasted sweet potatoes and broccoli.
Have you watched Tony P's salmon tutorials?
Oh, it's goaded.
No.
No one's making salmon like Tony P.
It's right in your lane.
Right in your lane in terms of preparing salmon.
I'll check it out.
It's different.
Yeah.
Saturday, walked the dogs.
Met in the early evening, like a pre-dinner dinner.
Met in the early evening, like a pre-dinner dinner.
We met Barrett and his lovely wife, Laura, at Matt's – sorry, at Mattel Rancho's.
Mattel Rancho's.
Exactly. Mattel Rancho's.
Mattel Rancho's.
Exactly.
One margarita there and some cho's.
Frozen or rocks?
You know I'm a frozen boy.
Top shelf or just a house?
A house frozen with salt.
That's my order.
No one's going to swat that out.
I'll apologize to no one.
And it was great.
Poncho style.
Inside or out?
Outside.
Outside.
They had the misters on, I believe.
And it was a nice little scene out there.
Who was he?
And then from there, we went to...
Sounds like a barbershop quartet.
We went to...
Ladies and gentlemen,
the misters!
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello, my little...
Would y'all fucking stop?
God, y'all are annoying.
And then we went to
Me, Nat, and Cat
for Brett's 30th.
And a lot of people showed up
and it was a great time
and I got into one, man.
I drank a lot of beers that night and um yeah play a little golden tea turns out watch texas
take the l to texas a&m dude dylan kept on calling beers nectars the other night he's like i'm so
twisted off this nectar right now what was up with that yeah i don't know i couldn't stop yeah
that was great man it was great sunday uh went to go went met up with some fam in san
marcos for a little bit parks went to slitter bond with with uh oh wow my sister wow and fam
that's sick dude he's telling all his buddies about that today yeah and then uh just came home
and chill with a little guy what was his favorite slide the master Master Blaster. Oh, yeah.
No, he didn't ride the Master Blaster, actually.
I don't know.
They were only there for like three hours.
Schlitterbahn rules.
It does.
It's so good.
I want to go.
Found out that his grandmother got him a season pass, so yeah, we're going back.
Nice.
Can you get us some swipes?
You can swipe us. Can you pass back?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe.
I didn't realize they had named a slide after you.
That concludes my weekend in fun.
Dave?
Hey, these are good.
No ads, but they're free ads.
They're pretty good.
Friday, Stars took the L, as they did last night. dave i'm sorry it's just friday's the one
that did it that was just a bad performance when i googled the series and saw you guys were down
three two i felt for you yeah it wasn't good wasn't good but um yeah pizzeria sportiva
and that was that was our big friday uh moment and. And we had a good time eating Zaw together.
Friday night, stayed in.
Saturday.
Saturday was a big day.
Gym at about 8.30, got home.
Rhodes is immediately saying, I want to go somewhere.
I'm like, fuck.
We've reached the age, dude. He's just like, I want to go somewhere. I'm like, fuck. We've reached the age, dude.
He's just like, I want to go somewhere.
And I was like, okay.
And then I was like, wait, I was just at the gym.
Let's go to the pool.
So I took him back, just me and him.
We did a pool day.
Did you get him on any weights?
No, he did want to go to the gym.
And I was like, you don't want to go to the gym.
You're not actually allowed to be up there.
He probably doesn't even wipe down his equipment.
No, he's got that kind of vibe, doesn't he?
Yeah.
We did the pool for like two hours.
It was a lot.
I was very tired.
I tried to sneak a nap in before Brett's.
I got about an eight-minute nap in, which is better than nothing.
I had a great time at Brett's.
His hockey buddies.
We got to talk about them.
They're out of control dude they really they
really take the excitement level up a notch it's just a good crew to have maybe i'm not mixing it
up with that crew like at the event but i like knowing that crew is aligned with us well so
they're in like the top league of like the men's league hockey they're in like double a they've
got skill i've heard brett telling someone they got skill levels leagues for everybody
i think we just hop in a crappy league and just start getting hammered with the boys let's go to
drop in okay let's go drop in play a little puck they're gonna be like what are these guys doing
i'm just trying hey we're just trying to learn it's been a while for some of us
uh yesterday woke up immediately was told we should do fajitas. Yeah. I said, okay.
So we did some Taz.
I did a lime Worcestershire sauce marinade.
It was pretty darn good.
I threw them up on the old grill, about 400 degrees.
They turned out pretty well.
You know, the key is, Will, you got to cut they turned out pretty well you know you gotta the key is well you gotta cut against the grain as you know see i i had to show dave some pics of my meat the
other day because i was worried that i was not doing it correctly it makes all the difference
in the world how you cut it i didn't know how to cut it man and i did it one way and then i was
like i can't go back now but it doesn't look right you'll know if you cut it wrong when it's incredibly jerky like yeah yeah for some reason that makes all the difference
it's a tendon pull sometimes your meat does be jerky though yeah and then um you know what man
just end of the weekend taking that l but got a good night's sleep last night and i'm here
i'm having a great time i'm enjoying doing podcast thing, and I will yield my time to you.
You know, I kicked the weekend off with a little golf round with Brett Merriman,
as well as our accountant and friend, Blaine.
Friend?
We went to UT Golf Club.
Yeah, he got the friend nod.
He got the friend nod.
I did something.
Tell me what kind of move this is, If it's aggressive, if it's not
aggressive enough, what? Blaine invited us out for the golf round. And Brett and I arrived at a very
similar time. And the cart guy put our bags on the same cart. And I was like, well, I feel like one
of us needs to ride with the host.
But as things started to transpire, we got on number two,
and I'm riding with Brett.
I'm riding shotgun in Brett's cart.
Right after we hit our drives on number two, I just go, all right,
I'm riding with Blaine.
I just take my bag off of Brett's cart, and I just put it on Blaine's cart.
And I was like, he invited us out here.
I never ride with him.
I'm riding with Blaine today.
And Brett was like, all right, I get it.
Yeah. I understand. I understand. I ride with Blaine today. Brett was like, all right, I get it. Yeah.
I understand.
I understand.
It shifted the vibe.
Damn.
Did Brett get his name right this time?
He did.
Okay.
He did.
He did.
I thought about,
I thought about mixing in a couple of Blakes.
Just,
just for funsies.
He really struggled with that.
Here's the thing about me.
If you're in the Austin,
Texas area and you need a scramble partner at any point in the near future,
maybe you're doing a two-man, three-man, maybe even a four-man,
you want me on your scramble team right now because I'm pounding the rock off the tee.
Dead straight, just hitting it like crazy.
Now, within 100 yards, there's a little bit to be desired here.
There was some talk about the sand.
The sand on that course was serious.
I will say it was cart path only,
so our yardages were all a little guesstimate.
It kind of took a few clubs to every single ball in the fairway
or in the rough and just tried to eye it out.
Not ideal.
Maybe that affected my sand play a little bit.
We'll see.
How do you think it went?
It went well.
I'm very impressed. I got to experience something i haven't experienced in a very very very very very long time which was
hole-in-one vibes from an old dude who had completed his round shortly after ours busts in
with the scorecard in his hand hole-in-one everyone's talking suddenly we got beers on the
table it's a good vibe to be a part of. So when I read your tweet, I was doing something
else and I thought you got a hole in one. No. If I got a hole in one, I would not tweet it
immediately. I would be in every group chat that I have showing photos and videos. That's why I was
stunned. I was like, I can't believe he dropped this on Twitter. No. We just had an old dude,
man, just knocked it close on number 12, went right in. Do you know if that was his first one?
I think it was his first one based on the conversations
that were going down.
Was he FaceTiming his wife?
No, but he did do the old man backwards hat move
to really put out the vibe.
That's so great.
Yep, yep.
It was great.
It was great.
And he bought everybody beers?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yep, yep.
A lot of people have Mexican martinis on them.
It's a good time.
Good time.
I didn't have a Mexican martini. They looked delightful, though. Saturday, yep. A lot of people have Mexican martinis on them. It's a good time. Good time. I didn't have a Mexican martini.
They looked delightful, though.
Saturday, I had the most unhealthy day I've had in a really long time.
Woke up, went to the park with my son, got three breakfast tacos.
You know your boy doesn't normally eat three breakfast tacos.
I went three deep.
Damn.
For lunch that day, I had a bunch of chicken wings from Lavaca Street Bar,
where I watched the Champions League final.
Prior to that, I had a fried chicken sandwich from Hat Creek.
Jesus.
Wait, how is that?
I didn't know they did one.
Yeah, it's new.
It's new.
It's pretty good.
I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to go get it, but if you're not in the mood for a burger and you're at Hat Creek it's not a bad alternative order pronounced frat creek yeah it's true it's true i think we need to do a
burger challenge write that down right oh yeah we're like one of the only places that has yeah
write that down write that down write that down write it down right down and what are two hands
hit the write it down going nice yeah then went to brett's uh i got uninvited from uh going to some drinks uh before brett's
with my wife um oh yeah yeah i just was told hey not enough room at the table so i'll meet you at
brett's and i was like all right cool so i did what i shouldn't have done and i snuck in an hour
long nap that left me feeling the most groggy that i could feel going into brett's but we immediately
turned it on got sauce in the mix in there nap that left me feeling the most groggy that I could feel going into Brett's. But we immediately turned it on.
Got sauce in the mix in there.
He started buying me ranch waters.
Harb's just going crazy.
The boy's buzzing.
Oh, what a night.
What a night.
Sauce was in there.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And you know what your boy did yesterday?
Mattel Ranchos.
Mattel Ranchos.
Mattel Ranchos.
Mattel Ranchos.
He went to Mattel Ranchos. Mattel Ranchos. Mattel Ranchos. Mattel Ranchos. We went to Mattel Ranchos.
And he bought himself some fish tacos.
And not one, but two.
Two fountain Coca-Colas, please.
Did you upgrade to redfish?
I did.
And I also got them blackened.
What's the original fish?
What's like the stock think i think cod i
think i think it's mahi mahi actually oh mahi mahi one of the most fun fish names to say you know
if you don't freak with mahi mahi simply for the vibes alone i don't want to hear from you
yeah mahi mahi is good enough but the redfish upgrade is a great one it is yeah never asked
on wednesday did you do the ribeye with Drew?
No, no.
Drew, unfortunately, was sitting at the opposite side of the table for me,
so splitting the ribeye was not the move.
But I am going to do it at some point.
It's cheaper than fajitas.
I think you could order the ribeye, cut it up, get some tortillas,
and suddenly you're eating good.
Ooh, that's a little little metal rancho hack
metal ranchos metal right david metal say it correctly metal rancho metal ranchos
i love a good hack you guys watching anything good lately that i need to be on top of
ah season two out of range man boy this show i'm not real sure i mean i'm gonna stick with it but man if you like do you like time travel no space and time and no the fluidity thereof no do you like
western stuff yeah okay well then you might like a little bit of this show are these like space
cowboys no not really unfortunately no okay just base pirates though more on that later love island
season one tonight i'm watching season. Season one. Episode one tonight.
I don't think we cover it because I'm not going to be able to not watch it when it comes out.
We also have Dylan's Track House, which has taken up a large chunk of our time.
Do real spinner hours?
Do.
Randy?
Randy?
Real spinner hours?
Maybe we just do a post-show stream.
Cross-platform. Okay. a post-show stream cross-platform okay a post-show stream cross-platform it'll be us talking my jama for like 15 minutes okay you think she comes out in a fire fit cross-plat she's the gift that keeps on
giving man she's lovely did you guys cross swords at all with anyone from brett's hockey team like urinate together yeah
no no they have the uh the keg urinal i like a mean-eyed cat you know i'm talking about crap
it's not in a closet keg in the bathroom cut a big piss on the floor you pee inside it it's
kind of fun because i've always wondered what it'd be like to urinate inside of a keg now you
don't have to wonder wait that's why i did a keg stand in the bathroom it tasted like shit
someone someone duped in the urinal you shouldn't have done that man yeah that's why I did a keg stand in the bathroom and it tasted like shit. Someone duped in the urinal?
You shouldn't have done that, man.
Yeah.
That's all me.
You were holding my legs, though.
I've been watching the content from this young lady on Instagram.
Justane.
Not Jenner.
What is it?
Oh, no.
That's not her name.
Just an era podcast is what she goes by.
Hold on.
Can we hear from our friends over at Muggsy before we dive in here?
When Dylan was holding my legs during the infamous bathroom keg stand,
he probably felt some just buttery smooth denim on my legs.
I did.
Yeah, it was probably because it was Muggsy.
So what was your mouth exactly?
I'm sorry.
I just had trouble.
People aren't worried about that.
They're worried about my legs,
which were covered in the most damn comfortable clothing
for guys everywhere presented by Muggsy.
Muggsy started by reinventing the jeans game in 2015.
Now they make the best jeans, chinos, tops, and joggers ever.
If you guys want to do a keg stand,
we'll be in Chicago in a few weeks.
Dylan will be readily available.
He's the most recent keg stander in a normal capacity.
He's going to get annihilated.
Yeah, buddy.
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Dylan, what were you saying?
What were you saying?
This young lady
caught my attention
on Instagram.
Her name is Sam Taylor.
She's got a new podcast
called Just an Era Podcast.
Okay.
She had her eras to her.
And she recently went to
Mattel Ranchos.
What the fuck?
Mattel Ranchos. Mattel Ranchos. and she recently went to madel ranchos madel ranchos madel ranchos madel ranchos okay i'm familiar with that place so she posted a um a tiktok
or a stream or a i mean real or both whatever anyway it's a video uh-huh
clip from her podcast internet clip and she had recently gone to the famous Matt's El Rancho.
Matt El Rancho's.
Matt El Rancho's.
Matt El Rancho's.
Matt El Rancho's.
The place that we frequent.
It is.
And you've heard about this many times if you are a listener of our show.
So she went there and she left a little review.
And people got a hold of it.
Not sure why.
So we went to Matt El Ranch Ranchos here in Austin, Texas.
And if you know about Mattel Ranchos, it's pretty similar to Donata's.
The margaritas are massive.
They are strong.
And I don't know if they cut you off at two, but they certainly should because I had one and a half.
And I was like, if I had that second one, girl, I would have been down for the count.
And I got a frozen skinny marg.
They have a bunch of frozen margaritas,
which I love now that it's so hot having a frozen margarita.
And then I also got chicken fajitas, which were amazing.
The portion sizes of the food at Maddow Ranchos is insane.
I think I spent a total of $50 with tip.
The only thing about Maddow Ranchos is that you can't do reservations,
so you just need to note that when you're going,
there's going to be a very long line when you walk into Mattel Ranchos,
but it goes pretty quickly.
Like, we had a party of 11,
and we were the next to be seated for the big groups in, like, the wait,
which was pretty crazy given how big of a line it was.
No stranger.
Yeah, she puts the apostrophe s on the the wrong the the waves that this
online clip made in the group text where i dropped it in was just insane like people were losing
their minds i mean like is she seriously saying matt's outRancho's? Which is, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, maybe like the most frequented restaurant in Austin.
It's the most freaked with restaurant.
You just scrambled your brain.
What you're saying is exactly correct.
It's the most freaked with restaurant in Austin.
Yes, it is.
I'll say it's the most popular restaurant in Austin.
Like, it is always jam-packed.
Everyone knows about this place.
Everybody's freaking with us.
If you move to Austin, you hear about it within the first three days of being here.
Like it's very popular.
You got to go to Matt's El Rancho.
But now I've completely shifted.
Now all I want to do is call it Matt El Rancho.
I know.
Like I don't want it to be called Matt's El Rancho anymore.
Yeah.
Matt El Rancho.
The common section, people are just
roasting her for it. Well, I mean, here's the thing. As someone who moved to Austin nine years
ago, the constant criticism is the people moving into town, ruining the city, everything like that.
And I would definitely fall into that group of people. I'm the worst. But I'm self-aware enough
to not say Matt El Rancho as a solo solo person as a person within a friend group just
as a human being because it's just the number one telltale sign that you gotta you're you're new
yeah and you might be wondering like who are these fucking guys why do they think they have the right
to to gatekeep madel ranchos well the answer is we had our photo up for a short amount of time
in the restaurant.
Yes.
Yeah.
So I think we're fine.
Not a lot of people can say they've had their photo up in Mattel Ranchos.
And we have had our photo up for at least 40 minutes in Mattel Ranchos.
And then the adhesive wore off.
I'm never calling it Mattel Ranchos.
No.
No.
I've already been in group chats asking people if they want to go to Mattel.
Part of the reason I went on Sunday was just solely so I could send a text to somebody saying metal ranchos actually klein wants to go there
this friday let's go i'm in which gives us a chance to overuse it all week long i'm in i'll go
let's make this happen yeah i'm absolutely in i will be going i'll go to metal ranchos
metal ranchos metal ranchos metal ranchos metal ranchos metal metal it's like cattle Matt L Ranchos. Matt L Ranchos. Matt L Ranchos. Matt L Ranchos. Mattle.
Mattle.
It's like cattle.
She didn't even say Matt L Ranchos.
She's gaming the system.
She says Mattle.
Mattle.
Do we need to get this pod in the network?
Yeah.
Who's she with?
Who's she running with?
Who's running that shit?
Just Media.
Which I think is one of those like Barstool girls.
Is it?
Are they a part of it?
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know who they are.
It's one of those names that Brett says in the office that I'm just unfamiliar with.
Just Media.
No shade, also no glaze, clearly.
Okay.
Just making sure that wasn't Tommy Toughknuckles' outfit.
No.
Mean Girl Pod is a part of Just Media.
They're the ones that left Barstool, right?
I think so.
Randy said yeah.
Okay.
Should we start Nice Guys Pod?
Maybe. What's up up we're nice who's running this we're unthreatening just media should we take them out next after we they got some juice i think they got juice yeah i think they got juice
i'm scared of them yeah we won't mess with them there look out buster yeah i'm not gonna i'm not
gonna ruffle any feathers over there if they want to talk this out over a margarita, maybe in a Mexican martini at Metal Ranchos, I will do that.
Business lunch.
Randy was saying how she's really pretty or something.
What were you saying, Randy?
I think you should DM her, Randy.
I think you should DM her.
You think she's attractive?
Higher than Sidney Swing.
Okay.
Dylan, we've got a package to the office today.
Can you explain what's in the office?
Yeah, so last week we were talking about V's and Cox.
What episode was that?
Pretty much a paywall one.
Ask our archivist, Randy.
Was it a paywall?
Was it voicemails?
It feels like it was a voicemail episode.
Podcast Oracle.
No, I think it was Wednesday morning's episode.
It was a regular one because we were talking about the doohickey, not the contraption.
Yeah, the doohickey.
It was a doohickey.
So we've been talking about V's and Cox it it hit the scene years ago when we saw uh some young gentlemen enjoying it
off each other's um cranks we were ground floor dub cocks yeah we were and so i'm here i'm up
here thinking like well can we acquire some ourselves is it just available in germany
oh turns out you can buy it turns out you can buy it on It was an impulse. Turns out you can buy it on Amazon, and that's what I did.
We got Wiesenkoks in the office right now.
It comes in a cute little cylindrical thing.
We can get it to you very fast on the Autobahn.
And it looks like cocaine.
It's just a white powder.
It looks like cocaine.
Don't booth it, bro.
No, but.
You snort it.
You snort it with your nose.
So I propose we do it live. Sprinkled with a pizza t bro. No, but. You snort it. You snort it with your nose. So I propose we do it live.
Sprinkle it on the pizza taint.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
Maybe you'll need your crust.
There's no Parmesan cheese on the pizza taint.
Oh, no.
Too many carbs for the boy.
Oh, you're watching your weight, boy.
It's cutting season now.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
You want to look cut for shells?
I propose that we do it live on the track house Thursday.
Okay.
I think we should all do lines.
Okay.
Do you do lines?
Yeah.
Or do you just kind of just go?
I think you drop a little on your hand.
You can do a key bump.
Okay.
So I also have something that we need to do on the live stream on Thursday.
Do you mind if I present this right now?
In addition to the V's and Cox?
Please do.
We had the Gonster.
Now there's a lot of people out there requesting the Milkster.
We're not doing the Milkster.
People want the Milkster, dude.
No.
My wife does not want the Milkster.
What's the Milkster?
It's Milk and Monster.
Okay.
You can't handle the Milkster?
And so I think we're going to do one single Milkster on it.
Milkster and Cox. I have a daily. I got it in tolerance. Yeah. I can't handle a milk stirrer? And so I think we're going to do one single milk stirrer on it. Milk stirrer and Cox.
I have a daily.
I've got it in tolerance.
Yeah.
I can't do it.
I don't, if I'm willing to do a gonster, I don't see why there's a world where I wouldn't
do a milk stirrer.
It just seems like it's real bad.
No, but I like, I'm pretty good at milk.
Can you actually get the real monster this time and not break it?
Honestly, I might need someone to go to the grocery store with me because I truly thought
that I got the correct monster the first time and it was not the fluorescent green
one. Which can are you looking
for? You're looking for the, it was
similar to his. It's the black one, but he got the
zero sugar one. That's like, it was black.
You just need to go with the regular black and green
monster. It was a health play. It was a health
play. What are you doing? A health play
for a gangster.
It's a silent killer, Randy. Yeah.
What are you doing? If you can take one thing
out of the gonster,
I think the sugar
is the number one thing.
I want to do a grape soda.
What's the grape soda again?
It was grape popping
peppermint schnapps.
I think Milkster's got more juice.
Tell me again
what's in the Milkster.
Milk and Monster.
The Milkster sounds
like a Dick Tracy villain.
Hey.
Yeah, the Milkster.
He's been stealing crates off people's front steps i do want to point out so this stuff these in cox it translates to octoberfest coke
like that's the nickname for it it is not actually cocaine so when you see us doing this we're just
doing a very legal substance that's just a menthol flavored powder that's what he told the bouncer
i mean i'd cat the other night too.
Is that what you told him?
Imagine just doing this in front of a cop here and be like, no, it's visa.
Yeah, let's see how that goes for you.
Yeah, you're really going to put yourself in a situation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always want to explain that the drugs I'm doing in front of a cop are not the illegal kind of drugs.
They have little testing kits though, right?
Probably.
On their person?
No.
I think they do. Or like in their in their whip
and their cruiser in their whip in the police vehicle police car 36th they just have in their
horse satchel maybe i don't think they i don't think they have a full drug test you can't you
can't arrest someone um yes you can't without testing it yeah i would know it would have
copied if like yes you were acting hammered on a boat or something,
and you were all drinking NA beers, and you were spraying beers,
blasting music, acting rowdy, and they pulled up and you were like,
jokes on you.
These are NA, dude.
Dumbass.
NA beer and Wiesenkopf.
Yeah, they're like, what are you guys doing?
Why are you wasting our time right now?
I mean, how many people have been just pounding liquid death?
It's true.
And, you know, I see those flashing lights.
Has it made its way to the U.S. yet, Veason Cox?
We're the first people to do it.
We might be the first.
We might be the first.
No one's ever done it before.
I didn't know that at Oktoberfest, if you stand up and you slam your stein,
if you don't slam it, they'll kick you out.
Learned that this weekend.
Why?
At least at the one that my brother-in-law went to.
You have to slam your Stein. Yeah. We were talking about going to Oktoberfest and how
fun it would be. And he went a few years ago, probably like five years ago at this point.
But he was like, yeah, I did that. He's like, I was really stressed about chugging the Stein in
front of all the people, but I wanted to do it because I wanted to have a video of me doing it.
And you stand up on the table and chug it. And he said, if you don't finish it at that one,
they'll just kick your ass out.
Oh, you slam it, but that's how you prove that you finished it?
Yeah.
Got it.
Imagine not slamming your Stein.
What are they made of?
They call me Schlamstein.
The Steins?
Glass.
Are they?
I have an authentic one from the Hofbrauhaus.
Yes.
And it's made out of glass or like ceramic?
I actually gave it away because it was a gift from my ex-girlfriend.
It was hand-blown.
I hand-blowed a Stein.
You're Stein.
They are very glass.
They're very heavy.
They're very nice.
Ceramic.
Ceramic.
The one that I got
from the half-brow house
was glass
and it was very thick
and nice.
Ended up using it
as a trophy
in a golf tournament
that we made up.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
Figured it was a good repurposing.
We turned in a negative,
we turned in a minus 43 scorecard.
Okay.
Did you guys win?
That's pretty good.
You guys still lost?
Yeah, we won.
Yeah, I won by 18 strokes.
Yeah.
That's a big victory.
What is this you just sent me, Dylan?
Two girls, one Stein.
I didn't send it.
What is that about?
I didn't send it.
Check my history.
I didn't send it.
I'm not going to watch that right now.
Oh, it's just, I'm watching.
It's just two girls drinking.
Oh, cool.
They're splitting one so they don't get kicked out.
Are they gonna slam the Stein?
Yeah, it's kind of a fun little thing.
Oh, how annoying.
Yeah, it's fatty.
Ah.
He sent me a similar video.
It's like a guy standing over a Stein.
Then what happens?
Stein squat?
God, Stein squat.
Why is that making a comeback?
That's the worst video.
Jar squat humor is making it a comeback
it's the worst one man yeah like out of out of all the bad videos from childhood that people
would put on the screen hands down that is the one that hurts the most yeah probably what hurts the
most i'm sorry squat does model ranchos model ranchos i didn't want i i got the fish tacos Mataranchos. Mataranchos.
I didn't want... I got the fish tacos,
but I wasn't pleased with the order.
They tasted really good,
but it was one of those times
when the entree arrives
and you're like,
man, this just isn't what I want right now.
Dude, did you fill up on chips and salsa?
No, I intentionally didn't.
Because I would.
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I went viral this weekend.
So happy hour on me next month when Twitter money comes through.
This photo of Tiger is the most – it's something.
Can't the man just live?
We've all been here, dude.
Dude, we've all been here, Dave.
He's going through it.
I don't like how Phil Ivey's looking at him.
Phil Ivey's looking at him like, dude, I've been talking your ear off all night
and you're just over me.
So Tiger definitely takes this seriously, right?
Like he's ultra competitive.
That's not in contention.
But like he looks like he's not having a good time because he's losing money.
This is the beginning.
The big wider picture, it's the beginning of a tournament.
They all have the same number of chips in front of them.
So he hasn't lost anything yet.
All right, well, fuck off. dave hey dude how do you know how do you know dylan that they don't all have the exact amount of money because they've all wagered the
exact amount for every bet and won the exact same amount you're right he could have lost his ass
before this turn you don't understand this could be a crazy game of poker oh that's true i mean
why they do them wrong like that with the the light coming off the
head dude i heard i heard tiger doubled up with the royal flush but phil ivy had three jacks and
a pair of nines is that right probably not um tiger just said fuck it revolution
is he is it surprising that a man of means like that hasn't gotten a little help up
top i did i did have several people respond to my tweet asking why he hasn't gone to turkey yet
yeah turkey dog like but like is he's does he not care the no hat i don't know man i
what's your poker fit well if you're playing in a poker tournament,
what's your vibe going to be when you sit down?
It's just poker fit.
Thank you, Randy.
It's not this.
If you're sitting down at a poker table,
you need to have a vibe about you
to signal people one way or the other.
You can dress down and have people be like,
I can take this guy.
I'm wearing a big Johnson t-shirt.
Okay.
This is the guy you bully at the poker table if he's just dressed in a polo.
Yeah, because you just know he's a rich dude who just tossed out.
Like, yeah, you know that you can work him a little bit.
Is that Sunday red?
Probably.
I have a major issue.
I would love to support Tiger and buy some Sunday red stuff.
I think on the rack it looks great.
But the amount of sweat that is pouring from his shirts is disturbing.
They need to address that.
It's not good.
It's a bad look when you're trying to move product.
I can't wear that in the middle of June in Texas, let alone July, August, September.
Man, Phil Ivey is nasty with the cards, though.
People were calling him the GOAT in my mentions.
He's not the GOAT, is he?
He might be the GOAT.
Is he the GOAT now?
He might be.
When I was watching poker back in the day, which was admittedly about 20 years ago, my mentions he's not the goat is he might be the goat is he the goat now because when i when i was
watching poker back in the day which was admittedly about 20 years ago like he wasn't the goat then
you had helm youth and like all those guys still lingering around i think he's considered like one
of the best in the world if not the best yeah at that time he was he definitely was like oh phil
i was at the table whatever but i didn't really i didn't i didn't realize that he was considered
to be like that he's low-key nasty on the flop really it's true that's where he makes his money
that's true man yeah uh congrats on going viral man i thought you got more traction on instagram
is from what i saw i didn't really pay attention to the instagram thing because uh zire didn't tag
me so i didn't get like notifications or follows or anything like that. No, it's just a Twitter play.
They wrote my name in the caption saying it was from X.
And I was like, well, I follow you.
And like, you know, it's, it's always the same.
Cause you know, whatever account got ahold of one of my golf tweets a couple months ago,
definitely tagged me.
I'm not willing to be the guy like in the comments, like, Hey, tag me.
Hey, hate to be that guy.
But there were a lot of backers in the
comments uh just tagging circling back which was nice to see yes you'd love to see that you know
i freak with my backers man he really just doesn't look great why don't you tell the folks at home
what the tweet says oh god it's a long it's a long tweet david read it dog do you want me to do a
dramatic reading of the tweet definitely bachelor party night three went too hard the first night rounded
rebounded even harder day two all catching up to you post steakhouse dinner when you're four
figures down you don't think it will hurt to lose more or a thousand on top of it because you're
already at rock bottom early flight out looming hard when you realize you're operating on muscle
memory alone you won't be able to sleep.
Yeah, let's do one more double kettle and soda, please.
We've all been there.
I could see Dylan sitting here doing this thousand yard stare for a while.
Yeah, like fuck.
I have a photo of you in Vegas where you're at a blackjack table and you're like lean back, like giving me a look.
And you look like you've been sitting at a blackjack table drinking all day in this photo.
Really?
It's like,
it's one of the most unattractive photos I've ever seen of you.
Oh,
is that the one you're sending out?
Thanks for not sharing it with people.
I've got a lot of Vegas photos by the way.
Yeah.
When I type in Las Vegas into my photo stream,
a lot of good content comes up.
Yeah.
It's a good time.
Hmm. I'm trying to find something what are you trying to find don't worry about it dude it's for your next segment
i don't think i'm gonna find it okay you're trying to find space music, aren't you? I can just sing it. Here's the thing. Space bar, space bar.
Talking about the space bar.
That's going to have to work for right now.
Okay, so the space bar, it's a segment that's either about space or something bar related
and not the exam that Dave passed years ago.
Like Xanax bars?
Xanax, no.
Like a bar where you buy alcohol basically anyway this
one's about space as they most most of them are it's not about a cocktail you're not doing a
cocktail recipe that you did over the weekend no okay there's no cocktail news involved here
there's no cocktail news okay this is strictly about outer space okay the first annual space
piracy conference will examine threats of orbital crime and smuggling.
Hmm.
Okay.
Are you going?
Or is it over the meetup?
I don't know if I'm allowed there.
I think you can register, dude.
You can get a media pass.
Yeah.
Media credential, dude.
We're washed media.
Oh, no.
It does say it's a two-day invite-only symposium.
All right.
Dude, I haven't been to a symposium in a while.
I didn't catch that invite.
Yeah.
They don't understand that I'm a space guy?
Well, do they not realize?
It says this is only experts who have prepared to review crime, piracy, and smuggling in
space.
Are you familiar with any of these?
What crime is occurring in space that I didn't know about?
I think that's where the conversation needs to begin.
Exactly.
Yeah.
What are we addressing here?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is this a real problem?
It will be at some point.
You think so?
Do you understand what's going on up there?
No.
How about you fill me in?
You're the space bar guy.
Why don't you fill us in?
I think you have some information.
Do you want to hear what the executive director of CSCPG says?
Yes.
He says, now is the time to start thinking about mitigating the threat of piracy in space
as we like to say and please forgive me leon trotsky but you may be not you may not be
interested in space piracy but space pirates are interested in you you're willing to take that risk
leon trotsky i don't think this is uh like an imminent risk for me at the moment you got to
get out ahead of it, dude.
I'm more concerned about pirates on earth, I think,
than I am about pirates in space, just for now.
There's no difference between the space and the ocean.
Piracy is piracy.
There's, I feel like there's a difference
between space and the ocean.
If you can be a pirate in the ocean,
you can be a pirate in space.
Well, you got to, you have to have,
you have to have the means to get to space first.
They're done, they're getting out ahead of it.
They have different vibes for sure.
Isn't it easy? The ones down here. Think it'd be easy to evade pirates in space because it's so it's so big they have to like dock on your
your craft i don't know if they're going to do that yeah there's a dock i don't
who's who's smuggled takes a lot of time who's smuggling to a different universe yeah like what
galaxy are you trying to oh my god what's. What's happening here? Why are there space pirates?
Han Solo, literally the most famous space smuggler there is.
He made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
You made the what?
In the Millennium Falcon.
Oh, my God.
Exactly.
I don't speak this fucking language that you're talking about.
What was he smuggling?
Stuff.
Heroic.
Mostly heroic.
I don't remember the actual plot line from Star Wars.
He was just a smuggler.
He was smuggling a lot of everything.
Dude, there was a war in space.
He was just a smuggler. He was smuggling. Dude, there was a war in space. He was just moving weight.
He was smuggling Weezingcocks across the galaxy, and they got his ass.
How tight would it be if Ewoks could be your pet, though?
That'd be great.
You see foxes, what they're doing as of late?
Apparently foxes are trying to be domesticated.
They're cute, man. You can't turn a fox into a
housewife i've been saying that foxy foxy lady different i was talking about the animal and you
had to make it horny people surely have domesticated foxes i'm sure they have yeah but like apparently
they're wanting more and more to like they're trying to warm up more and more to humans because
they want to be
possessed.
They want to trust them.
Hey, look at me.
I can live inside with you.
I see it's in the park, just mobbing.
They're like, hold up.
I've seen a couple around.
They're facetal fuckers.
Are they vicious?
You don't want to fuck with them.
Yeah, but they're not going to take down a two-year-old, right?
That's too big.
I think they're taking down a two-year-old.
They take down little rodents and bugs and snakes and shit, probably.
No, they get cats.
They'll snatch a cat.
Foxes would not bite a human unless cornered and attacked.
Unless my two-year-old is.
Yeah.
Don't let your two-year-old corner and attack.
You said you were trying to corner some foxes this weekend.
I did say that, yeah.
Nobody puts baby in a corner.
No. Let me just put that out there right now the space and the ocean are kind of more similar than you're giving it credit for
both very unknown a lot of a lot of stuff out there okay what ready i'm just saying i would
get a fox those things are dope or a raccoon no those are crafty little fuckers too you were talking to that girl
who dresses like a fox all the time she she asked to borrow dylan's uh foxtail
yeah you have major furry vibes with that foxtail yeah you do have a foxtail that's
foxtail is dope it's fine you brought it up wait another thing you brought to the office
just to like unload stuff yeah just like if somebody has to get like an emergency bit off or something,
it's there for you.
Oh, shit.
Where's the foxtail?
Exactly.
It's there.
Where's the foxtail?
Ten steps away.
An emergency bit.
You never know, Randy.
I mean, you're talking to the guy.
If it's going to happen, it's going to be in this office.
Let's do this as washed media video where we just.
Emergency bits. The bit alarm goes goes off we all have to sprint i know exactly what i'm running towards
we need a bit wheel where you just spin it and whatever you gotta fucking do that it's true
randy make a bit wheel i'll make a bit here while i do this stamps.com read you you make a bit real
all right okay you guys hear about stamps.com yeah man he gets our stamp of approval yeah thank you it's like dude we're so in sync we finish each other's sentences
work-life balance doesn't feel realistic when you're working through launches or staying up
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it's all over you're just constantly at work you're constantly running around constantly
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Got some dog bite rankings. guys ready for these these like the best dogs to get bit by yeah if you could get bit by any dog what would you do oh uh man the only dogs
have ever like really bit me are small dogs chihuahua type dogs yeah i had a yorkshire terrier
that would nip at people's heels every once in a while.
Pretty annoying.
Wiener dogs.
He used to have a Dalmatian that got pretty aggressive in his old age.
Oh, Dalmatians can get feisty.
They can.
Yeah, they're a feisty breed.
He lost his eyesight, and they made him extra aggressive.
No shade to Dalmatians.
I freak.
They're cute, man.
Yeah.
You guys were aware that yesterday, June 2nd, was the first day of Dog Bite Awareness campaign done by USPS.
That's right.
That's something I did not know.
I'm happy to say that I've been a part of this for, jeez, 15 years now.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I was actually talking to Randy's postman the other day, and he thought that Randy had gotten some type of adopted puppy or something,
but it was actually just Randy watching the Matt Sell Rancho video.
I was just barking what video metal ranchos uh yeah metal rancho metal rancho yeah metal rancho a lot of growling coming from 34a or whatever so what is this list well
they've they've isolated all the dog bite uh incidents in every city in america any guesses on what the top cities are
oh i'm immediately gonna think the the big cities are the ones with the most dog bites
yeah you know what if there's one dog that's just putting up big numbers in like omaha
he's just terrorizing the town we got to get this dog off the street man it's like dude what
i'm gonna say it's just a who's who of big towns.
Yeah.
And looking at the list, that's exactly what it is.
Yeah.
LA, Houston, Chicago, St. Louis, Cleveland, San Diego.
Dallas in the top 10, Dave.
Let's go.
Where's Austin?
Austin's not even on there.
I kind of think we need to get our numbers up.
The top state.
Or not.
The top state, but last two years running, was California.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Texas is number two, though.
We got a dog in the fight, literally.
Oh, yeah.
I don't think Rosie would ever bite anybody, but her bark signals that she would take something down.
These numbers are much lower than I would expect them to be.
Yeah, but you got to think that postmen have their tricks.
Like, in 2023, the number was 727 dog bites, and that ranks number one.
Dude, like what if they just carried around like some dog treats in their pocket
so they could just throw one and take it off their set?
I would carry a big old T-bone steak raw and just toss it out there
and let the dogs go get it.
You'd carry a T-bone with you every day.
I'd carry a handgun and just square up with the dog.
Just be like, stop, stop.
They don't understand stop stop they don't
understand that that things can hurt them i wouldn't shoot it they're not scared of the
right but they're not gonna be they're not gonna be scared of it i just want people to be like
looking at their ring cam wondering why their dog's barking just see the postman just they
carry mace most of them carry mace right really pretty sure isn't usually doing this podcast i don't know well maybe yeah yeah bad bad bad bad boy what you what you gonna do how's it go
you make me feel make me feel so good you know you're really close you know you make me feel
so good put that on do you know it you why don't you do the lyric completion portion of you know
anymore i like that one because if you don't
know the song in general like you kind of double you're not getting bonus points you didn't even
know the song in the first place and i you know i would thought mixing up with some movies would be
fun i was good at that one though i feel like my winning percentage has gone down since you've
stopped doing it the movie one's difficult i'll give you that. With the movie one,
you could maybe get the actor,
if you don't even know the movie,
you can maybe get
the actor's voice,
usually,
if you're good.
I usually do pretty well
on those.
Yeah, see?
Dude, all that Netflix
and chilling you do.
Oh, dude.
Stop.
Sorry.
Dude.
He's looking at his phone.
He's checked out
yeah
he's like
oh now we're doing
Netflix and chill
I put the V's and cogs
on the Instagram story
on Circling Back
and someone said
whose piece is that going on
so
we gotta select a piece
you're right
yeah
we do
it's a valid
valid request
Randy
I made the bit wheel
do I need to make a piece wheel
yeah
piece wheel
piece wheel has legs
three of them aw Peace wheel, yeah. Yeah, peace wheel. Peace wheel has legs.
Three of them.
Aw.
Randy, can you queue up a video?
Dogs are crazy, yo.
As previously stated on this very podcast,
Love Island, the abuse tonight.
Something I like to do during every Love Island season is hone in on one saying that they do,
one weird British slang saying,
and then just really own it for the rest of uh the summer just make it annoying say
to my wife around the house have you guys seen this video that's come out some british abbreviations
that i'd like to uh enter into the chat for the summer she's kind of cute i mean can we just watch
the video without you just getting full on hard she's got got you. I mean, yeah.
Do you fancy a bossy bee?
Boss of beverage.
With the girls.
A body bee is bottomless.
Bottomless brunch.
How are your Resilus?
Resolution.
Yeah.
We hit up Shorty with a Resilu.
Sabi bee.
Sabi bee.
We use that.
We use sabi bee.
My gen B.
Really, really fancy some Gaza bee. Gaza bee. That's a stretch. We use Sabi B. Am I Jen B? Really, really fancy some Gaza B.
Gaza B.
That's a stretch.
We're not doing that.
Gaza B is not garlic.
I don't even get that.
Really fancy a peppy tea.
Peppermint tea.
Yeah.
I've really got to do a Pazza P.
That's not what I do.
I almost failed because of Pazza P.
Almost failed?
No.
Parallel Park.
Yeah.
What?
Parallel Park. Jenny Lakers. The, Parallel Park. Jenny Legg is.
The General Election.
Dude, are you doing a Jenny Legg?
Jenny Legg.
This is Gas Bill.
Oh, garlic bread.
Body B's got leg.
That one's actually catchy.
Body B's good, time out.
Salad Cream?
Yeah.
I got a question here.
Salad Cream.
Like, they are so British.
What is Salad Cream?
Is that salad dressing? Is that a creamy salad dressing?
Oh yeah, it's just salad dressing.
Do you know what paracetamol is?
I didn't know what this was until we went over there.
My friend said she needed something else.
What are you talking about?
It's like Advil.
Or like a pain reliever.
Give him into the Clappy J.
I don't even know what that is.
Clappy J.
I acquired acquired in college
they do this thing over there
and I don't understand it
but it's like
when they said what
garlic bread, Gaza
Gaza B
they use A-Z-Z-A after the first
initial of a word
as like a nickname
and I've never really understood it.
There was an old soccer player
whose name was Paul Gasgawine
and they would call him Gaza.
And then there's another player,
Wayne Rooney,
who you're familiar with,
who would go by Waza,
who was a similar player to him.
That's weird.
And I don't know why they do that.
Hard to make the connection.
Let's start calling you Daza.
They got crazy Riz over there.
Daza C. God to make the connection. Let's start calling you Daza. They got crazy Riz over there. Daza C.
God tier Riz.
They sound so cool.
They got good whiz.
We're going to lose people
if you keep that shit up.
Maybe in one of them.
Micah's appropriating accents
were better than your Twitch voice.
It's for a younger audience.
Underneath our age.
I think we need to get older at the position.
No, no, no.
I want Randy out there.
What age demo is this?
Yeah, who are we trying to reach right now?
I said it to Callie's friends, and they all started doing the voice too.
Okay, okay.
It's just a TikTok thing.
All right.
These are the kids who bullied me off Rainbow six because we do we so pog us i wish you had something else to do so we didn't have to end it on that
no blame will he's the one that brought the voice into the chat mute his ass i could just mute his
ass yeah i'll probably figure out a way to put his shit in yeah he's always got a little hacks
over there so don't do anything dope this week oh friday looks like it could be the move i'm gonna mix in some real spinner hours
at some point i don't have shit to do this week man how's your tea i don't know yet
about two weeks in yeah but you were hanging out hard so you probably like got a little bump there
there are moments when i'm like i'm fired up now. I wonder if this has anything to do with my Clomid.
Is it weird that I'm taking it?
Do I need to be coy about it?
I kind of want people to know I'm teed up from the feet up.
You pumping weights yet?
No, dude.
Get in that Peloton.
I do need to get on the Peloton.
Peloton's just collecting dust in the upstairs right now.
We did work out the software issues.
It's currently a functioning bike.
A little dust on the Pazza?
Yep.
I did it right.
On the Pazza, dude.
A little dust on the Pazza.
Are you guys going to watch some of that?
Yes.
I don't know, man.
Why?
Because it's such a time commitment.
Why?
What fucking shit show are you going to watch?
It's 45 minutes every night.
I have the whole fucking Harry Potter shit to watch.
Harry Potter.
You're going to watch one movie. It's going to take you seven days because you took a I have the whole fucking Harry Potter shit to watch. Harry Potter. You're gonna watch one movie
and it's gonna take you seven days
because you took a nap
in the middle of it
and you fell asleep.
Parks wants to watch with me.
Dylan's saving him for a while.
I got dulled the third one
but I still need to watch the credits.
That has a P.
The has a P, dude.
Has a P is good.
It's not bad.
Harry Potter.
Harry Potter.
It's better than Harryry p boy who lives
they've been called dylan the harry pauser with how slow it takes him to watch a movie
no they were calling you that you do take a long time come on man hey yeah he's the harry pauser
grata rata stuff yeah Oh shit I'm gonna go
And eat leftover fajitas
Ooh
You're not gonna bring
The gift of leftover fajitas
To the squadron
I gotta see how much
Did you say what
My wife's had
Type of meat
Steak
Okay
We'll cut
I went with the old
Skirt steak
Oh
The old skirt steak
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Rain is a bigger
Sundress steak fan.
Don't you owe me barbecue?
For what?
For helping you set up the barbecue thing.
I don't think you ever brought me food in.
We went to the place.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We went to K-Pot.
That's what it was.
Yeah, what the hell are you doing, dude?
Trying to double collect?
I thought you said he was going to bring me a little bit of barbecue.
You had a very public K-Pot dinner.
Yeah, we went to K-Pot.
We waited for an hour to go eat K-Pot.
It was delicious.
A meal that we had to cook.
I thought you guys skipped and went in the VIP line.
No, that was for the haunted house.
Yeah, we did.
We got a fast pass.
I want to go to haunted house more than I want to go to Aqua.
Okay.
Very good.
Okay.
You had so much energy delivering that.
It felt so good.
You get in there?
We're after 70 minutes, man.
I'm on fumes now.
Oh, shut up.
I'm on fumes, dog.
Shut the front door.
Take some fucking Weezing cocks.
Yeah, Beezing.
Oh, yeah.
I'm just taking my cocks up.
It's fucking rainy.
It's not the stream yet, you dumb bitch.
Oh, yeah, it is.
Okay, he's cranky.
Maybe we...
Hey, why are you so mad?
Wrap it up.
Yeah.
We got to wrap it up now. I'm a little hangry. I'm a little hangry. Oh. You got too much. We gotta wrap it up now.
I'm a little hangry.
I'm a little hangry.
You got too much pizza crust.
I don't know how pizza tastes.
I have to go to the dry cleaners.
What am I going to get to eat near there?
Which one are you going to?
I'm going to the one off the street.
The Zippy Zips or whatever it's called.
I don't want to say the name.
Someone's going to roll in there and pick up my Johns.
They're not going to get your Johns.
They're going to get my Johns, dude.
They're going to be like, oh, I don't have my slip.
Yeah, can I get Will's Johns? Yeah, they're going to get a bunchs they're gonna get my johns dude they're gonna be like oh i don't have my slip they're gonna get a bunch of yeah they're gonna get a bunch of
i don't know crochet shirts and shit i go to tom what's someone tom browns
jack brown jack brown yeah i go to jack browns there's like 25 of them so you will you'll never
find out where you can get my brooks brothers button downs that are way too huge. Frat. Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Bye.
Maddow Ranchos.
Maddow Ranchos.
Maddow Ranchos.
Maddow Ranchos. you