Circling Back - Will Gets Engaged, Free Solo, and Worst Weekends
Episode Date: March 4, 2019Will describes the entirety of his Saturday engagement, we break down 'Free Solo,' Brooks Koepka clapped back at us, and a New Orleans Worst Weekend Story. Support us on Patreon and receive episodes ...every Friday for just $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (2:10) SXSW Party Announcement (7:10) Free Solo (18:34) Brooks Koepka Claps Back (24:04) Will Gets Engaged (46:11) Mardi Gras Worst Weekend MeUndies: www.meundies.com/circlingback Hims: www.forhims.com/steam ScentBird: www.scentbird.com/circlingback Twitter: www.twitter.com/circlingbackpod Instagram: www.instagram.com/circlingbackpod Visit: www.circlingbackpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast monday let's get this bread dave what's up dude
i had some sourdough toast this morning, if that's what you're talking about.
Wow.
Yeah, one piece.
Wow.
Just one?
Just one, accompanied by some avocado.
Put your ones up.
Put your one in the sky if you're a sourdough guy or girl, lady.
And I also had some eggs, three eggs to be exact.
Really?
Did you all see this guy who shot himself in the dick?
No.
Accidentally?
That's quite a pivot from breakfast to shooting yourself in the dick.
Yeah, I just wanted to i wanted to
shoehorn that in real quick before we introduce dylan just i wanted to see if dylan could marinate
on it and give his takes i hadn't i hadn't seen this yet yeah he had his gun stuffed in his
waistband elastic waistband like plexiglass style and he shot himself through the penis
how's his penis doing i don't know did he blow it off did it did it it said went through the penis i've said that word too
many times for monday morning i apologize this is i forgot this isn't patreon this is ads talk
about a worst weekend story huh yeah shot myself oh man shot myself in the dingus man if there's
ever a time that you actually want to shoot blanks am i right oh man that's pretty good
yeah not bad it said the bullet entered just above his
pen 15 and exited his scrotum unsolicited recommendation from your boy pen 15 on amazon
prime if you like nostalgia check it out you're also a guy who like girls pen 15 is funnier though
is it is it as self-righteous as girls not no, not even close. It's intentionally self-deprecating.
There's a show called Pen15?
You should not watch it, Dylan.
Why?
You will not like it.
Why?
Because middle part's galore.
Because I like cool shit?
Yeah.
Okay.
Like, you're too cool for this one.
You would have been the popular kid turning down the girls in this for dances at school dances.
Yeah, you're the guy who wears a varsity letter jacket
every day. Okay, let's just move on
with that.
I think we have a little something we need to announce.
March 15th.
Are we
announcing this today? Yeah, let's go.
March 15, not Pen15.
The Ides of March. On the Ides of March,
us, the Circling Back podcast,
will be having a nice little get-together at Eisenhower's in Austin, Texas.
South by Southwest action.
Hit the high porn.
Hit it.
It's three.
Four, actually.
Yeah.
Can't wait.
Squad up with us.
Yeah.
Nothing crazy is going to go on here.
We might have a little signage out front, but we're going to be there.
Speak for yourself.
It's more of a meetup than a certified South by Southwest party.
It's very unofficial.
Just come by.
We're going to be there.
Hang out with us.
Say hi.
Shake our hands.
Tell us how much you love the pod, of course.
Have fun at Eisenhower's.
It's South by Southwest, so people are going to be out there pretty much all day, I think.
So come whenever you want your entry fee is taking your phone out
showing us that you're subscribed on it
unsubscribing and then resubscribing
that's how you get in
what would the point of that be
because it registers on iTunes as a
new subscribe
yeah it helps you climb
you don't actually have to do that
come meet up with us.
I think it's 7 o'clock.
Is that what we're doing?
There's a great chance this turns into a crawl.
I'll just say it.
I asked Mike what time he wants us to show, and he never responded to me.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
Wow, that's so cool.
I love that Mike just goes to you.
So we'll be there from noon to last call.
Yeah, we'll be there for basically 15 hours straight.
Either way, if you follow us on any social media,
circling back pod on Twitter and Instagram,
we will have all the information you need regarding it in the coming weeks.
I think the last time we did any kind of South by thing that ended at Eisenhauer's,
it was after Say by the Brunch last year.
That was the last time I browned out.
I had to leave Eisenhauer's because I could tell that I was getting a little too tipsy.
Yeah.
I had the same experience.
I gotta go.
I didn't want to go.
In a bad way.
It was fun.
But we had to leave.
Yeah.
So put that on your calendar.
March 15th, if you're in the Austin area,
come meet up.
It's gonna be fun.
I have confirmation that a favorite longtime guest
will be there.
Wait, who?
Liv Langdon.
Oh, shit. She texted me this morning about something
regarding south by and uh i was like oh by the way you got to come to our party she said she's in
wait what yeah what's she doing i talked to her what that girl doing what what's she doing come
on oh i better mute my phone sorry yeah what the hell dude sorry you are the new Micah. No, I'm not. It was one little thing.
I got the same needle you just got.
It's a good one.
Cool.
Oh, wait.
Let me check.
Hold on.
I'm sure I'm on it, too, because I've never... Oh, it's weird.
Oh, I did get it.
Damn.
I was hoping for some magic there.
No, I did get it.
We're dudes doing biz.
Right now, let's talk about me, Undies.
Ask yourself this one important question.
Is your underwear making you happy at this very moment? Right now? Well, it is. Because's talk about me undies ask yourself this one important question is your
underwear making you happy at this very moment right now well it is because i'm wearing me on
yeah me too sometimes you don't even think about your underwear but when you like to be wearing
underwear that's so soft that it feels like you're you know making love to an actual cloud yeah that
be tight it's great man pretty much everything from my waist below is like a Pharrell song. Okay.
Well, I've got some good news for you.
What?
Me undies.
Hell yeah.
Me undies.
Hell yeah, brother.
I mean, these guys are getting reviews from everybody.
People love them.
BuzzFeed said they feel like actual heaven against your skin.
So we're going to assume the heaven is really soft.
They really went out on a limb.
They did.
AskMed said they feel like there's silk drenched in hand lotion.
A.K.A. Dave's College
Dorm Room.
Nothing?
Come on, dude.
Not only will you feel like your loins
are being hugged by joy itself, but MeUni's gives
you multiple style options for both men and women.
Do you know which style option you have, Dylan?
Obviously, I have the boxer brief.
That's the one that rides a little higher.
Or do you have the one that goes down low?
No. Yeah, it rides a little high.
Yeah, that's what I like, too.
I like to keep my thighs breathing.
Yeah.
You can choose between classic colors to adventurous prints.
Prints like significant otters.
Are you a big otter guy?
Love otters.
I could see your spirit animal
being low-key otter.
They sent me some
St. Patrick's Day themed ones.
See, I didn't...
Four-leaf clovers on the shit.
I got them.
All I got was the socks.
I didn't get actual underwear
from them.
That sucks, man.
Well...
Well, you're a sock.
Socks on a sock.
It makes sense.
Right now,
if you go to MeUndies,
they have a great offer
for our listeners.
For any first-time purchasers, when you me undies you get 15 off and free shipping this is a no-brainer you get 15 off of a pair of the most comfortable underwear you'll ever put on
it's easy as that to get 15 off your first pair free shipping and 100 satisfaction guarantee go
to me undies.com circling back again that's me undies.com circling back yeah can we talk about free solo for just a hot minute i
would we have a stacked lineup and i understand that but we should touch on it since we've all
seen it now i'd see the thing is like i don't even want to do it in a quick minute like i could
talk about this movie for an hour i did something something no one has done before. What? I watched Free Solo on a Sunday night before bed.
That's the one thing people told me not to do.
I legit almost turned it off.
I'm not kidding.
I almost turned it off.
I couldn't handle it.
The intensity, the anxiety, it was too much for me at times, but I made it through.
To be clear, there are going to be spoilers in this segment.
If you're not aware, Free Solo won the best documentary
at the Academy Awards.
It was a very hyped up documentary
and I had some friends
that recommended it to me.
I took their word
and I rented it on Thursday night.
My original intention
was to watch it in IMAX,
but I rented it Thursday night.
I enjoyed it so much Thursday night that when Sally and her father wanted to watch it in IMAX, but I rented it Thursday night. I enjoyed it so much Thursday night
that when Sally and her father
wanted to watch it on Friday night,
I obliged.
I went back to back on it.
Wow.
Okay.
What a film.
Yeah.
I just can't imagine ever having
a mindset that would take on a challenge like that.
It's about a climber who
is the regarded as the best climber probably i guess of all time you would have to think after
after this yeah he's got to be he is my official climber of 2019 that's big people were waiting
for you to drop who he's the only one he's the first first and last person to ever attempt a
free climb of El Capitan.
Great name, by the way.
That's a great name for a rock face.
That's in Yosemite.
It's in Yosemite.
I wonder how it got its name.
It's the captain, Dave.
It's the most badass rock wall there is, I guess.
It's made out of granite.
God, dude, this is giving me flashbacks to the time I scaled K2.
Yeah.
I didn't do a free solo, but did you know that took me a while but well the there are so many takeaways from this like one the
guy's a total psycho low-key my favorite part of this is that the guy is his complete lack of
acknowledging fear yes like his body doesn't his brain doesn't respond to
frontal lobe is different than ours fear inducing events and it's it's wild you have to be wired
differently to do stuff like that to be one of those guys you see jumping off cliffs on squirrel
suits or to just like be into extreme sports like yeah like sean white same brain i guarantee it
yeah close but to be on the side of that thing you know hundreds of feet
up thousands of feet up in the air with no rope and like one little one little slip well the
difference with him and me is that when i see like a giant mountain or rock face i think man that's
tight i'm gonna put that on instagram and then he sees it and he's like i'm gonna climb that with
nothing yeah yeah and that's the difference between us i have a question though and i feel like everyone's wondering it but no one's talking about it
what do you do if you have to get a two off when you're free soloing el capitan or you grab your
pants i was actually surprised that he did it in just under four hours why because i would think
it would take much longer and you would have to prepare like maybe bring a snack up maybe bring
like a little you know nature valley bar he drank maybe bring a snack up, maybe bring like a little, you know, Nature Valley bar or something up there.
Well, he drank a six pack of Bang Energy before he did it.
I'm just saying like if you know you can do it in four or five hours, you don't need to get a two off.
You can prepare for that.
He thinks of climbing in a different way than we think of it, though, too, is that he has like he has a very methodical strategy for going up the rock face.
And so like every move that he makes, he knows that he's going to make that move ahead of time yeah and but four hours is mind-blowing
yeah i like how he's just carving up before every time they show him he was eating like raw oats
this most psycho thing he did in the entire movie was eat his eggs with the spatula that he cooked them with that's just efficiency i respect that so much that's a guy who hates doing dishes well
you can't you can't have that many things in your van did you find it unstable that his little uh
bag of chalk was behind him i didn't like how he had to reach back there anytime he wanted to
re-chalk his hand you have to do it that way i know yeah i guess out of your guess. It's out of your way. Yeah, because you don't want your hand to hit it
when you're trying to reach for something.
I was thinking, like,
you better tie those shoelaces up tight.
Like, what if they come untied?
I would go Velcro.
And the first time he started to climb it,
like, it was in the dark,
I was thinking, what if the flashlight fails
and he can't see shit?
Like, everything has to go right.
And if it doesn't, you're dead.
Something that I didn't think about,
just the random bird's nest he might run into.
Because there were some times where a bird would fly out,
not near him, but within the camera shot of him.
And I was like, dude, what if he stumbled upon a bat cave?
You never know if he's going to stumble upon a bat cave.
Dude, that's the last thing you want to stumble.
Or a snake pit.
What if an unexpected rainstorm blows in?
Unexpected rainstorm?
No, he's got
that unlock uh you don't know what about one of those goats that we found out or the sheep the
big horn sheep that can just climb straight up i don't think they live on the side of a rock face
though that's like basically straight up and down yeah but what if there was just one that's wired
differently and he is living up there and he comes face to face what if he was a free solo climber
himself and he was yeah yeah i don't
know hanging by his little hoof fuck i see it was wild you could make a case that the greatest free
solo climbers in the world are goats sure like probably better than him that's the original goat
yeah him doing like his pull-ups in his van by his fingers like that just made my
it made my forearms hurt hey we should start trying to do this at the gym um he the guy's just a physical freak yeah flexibility is key
his little the karate kick move he had to do yeah i don't think i can do that that i wonder if he
does yoga i i may have did they did they touch on that? What's his training regimen?
Well, they did his...
I think his training regimen is legitimately just climbing.
Because he has no body fat on him.
No, I think it's just climbing.
And he weirdly doesn't have...
He probably looks good with his shirt off.
Oh, they showed it.
That's all I could think about.
He does look good with his shirt off.
But he doesn't put on muscle. He's not bulked. That's all I could think about. He does look good with his shirt off. But he doesn't put on muscle.
He's not bulked.
That's probably the opposite of what he wants.
Yeah.
So he's probably not eating a lot of protein.
He's not team games.
He probably weighs 140.
Yeah.
Skinny dude.
Is he tall?
How tall is he?
He looked tall.
Probably six.
Probably six feet, 140, something like that.
Have you seen a photo of him?
Dude, shouts to Dylan.
You put your money where your mouth is.
I'm nailing it.
I said on the Patreon podcast this past Friday, Dude, shouts to Dylan You put your money where your mouth is I'm nailing it
I said on the Patreon podcast this past
Friday, I said that
Dylan said that he could just look at a photo of somebody
And say how tall they were, we put it on Twitter
And Dylan was batting a thousand pretty much
It was weird that you were right on all of them
It's crazy that I got 100% of them
Perfectly accurate
Perfectly
It's wild
Yeah, we'll show you a picture later of...
I forget this guy's name, but...
He's probably right at six.
5'11".
Did you find him...
Being the psycho that he is
and being so void of emotion and void of fear,
I found him still so likable
because he didn't...
It wasn't like he was a tough guy
trying to be like,
no, I'm not afraid of anything.
It's just like, matter of fact,
no, I'm not really afraid of anything.
Yeah, I agree.
But his poor girlfriend,
she was sitting there basically begging him to be like,
please just give me some emotion.
Let me know that you don't want to die for my sake.
And he was just like,
I'm sorry, I can't do that.
This is what I do.
And you signed up for this.
Yeah, he does.
He climbs mountains without a rope.
She was begging him to just give him something.
And he was just like, stone cold face.
Like, no, I can't.
Dude, if he gives her an inch, she'll take a mile, though.
It's wild.
You can't.
I mean, you can't.
Imagine being with someone like that.
Like, that's hard.
Yeah.
Shouts to her.
She's got to be strong.
Whenever I leave to record a podcast, Sally's just like, please tell me everything's going
to be all right coming out of that room.
And I'm like, I can't.
I can't.
You can't guarantee that you won't leave here in a body bag.
Yeah, shit gets crazy.
You've been body bagged before.
Yeah.
It'll happen again.
But here I am.
I don't know.
If you haven't seen it, I can't recommend it enough.
If it is showing in IMAX anywhere in the Austin area, I have to go see it.
Yeah.
I don't know if I can take that on in an
imax format i can just on my tv at home it was too much for me like i got vertigo watching it
we watched it on uh we went to sally's parents house and they have a projector
that goes up to their wall and it was so cool on that so seeing it in imax would just be incredible
it's like you were there it was like i was Capitan it's like he wasn't doing it solo he was doing it with me do you
want to try it no Capitan we should try that uh rock wall at the gym we should we should do that
first yeah yeah we should do that I thought it was pretty funny when he was like talking about
his girlfriend he's like yeah she's not a climber and then like you fast forward five minutes and
she's like climbing with him and I'm like if she's not a climber then what am i because she's on el capitan right now just like doing shit and she let him
fall that that time yeah when he hurt his back why'd she do that and then he later on said like
you know she entered my life and i started getting hurt a bunch meaning like i might need to get her
the fuck up out of my life dude just stone cold there are people asking if she did that on purpose
in order to try to get him to stop
climbing so much. No.
There are people asking. I would like
to get him on this podcast and ask him what's
next for Free Solo
Guy in 2019. Alex? Is that
his name? I don't know. Yeah. He's Free Solo Guy.
Alex Honnold or something? Honnold. Yeah.
He got that Instagram follow
from me. He earned it. So he's sponsored by North Face,
right? He has to be because everyone else in that documentary was wearing Patagonia.
He was the only dude.
Right when he finished the climb, he threw North Face on.
See, a guy like that, he probably doesn't make a lot of money off of this, but he should.
Well, he said he's got enough money that he could be a moderately successful dentist.
That's a great line.
I really enjoyed that.
I was like, how did you come up with that?
Remember when you said that dentists are the worst doctors doctors no i didn't say that you said they're
the weakest no i think i said that like the least important in terms of like the medical industry i
think that people look at dentists being the lowest like one of the lower rungs wow he just
copped a follow for me just now dude i'm a big i'm a big i'm a big fan of dentists alex alex
honnold h-o-n-N-O-L-D.
He's got 1.2 milli now.
I'm not going to sit here and act like,
oh, he can be a dentist.
I can't poo-poo dentistry.
Okay, he's also clearly sponsored by,
what kind of truck is this?
I don't know.
Is he getting a dope truck off?
Yeah.
He kind of looks like John Mulaney.
Your boy.
Do you know who he looks like?
Pavel Dotsuk.
Oh, okay.
You see that?
Don't know who that is, but it sounds cool.
Red Wing, great.
Oh, rest in peace Ted Lindsey, by the way.
Also, rest in peace Keith the Prodigy.
Oh, another interesting part.
The original Firestarter.
Yep.
We should probably move on soon, but another interesting part is that during this documentary,
while they were filming it, one of his buddies died climbing. he was like yeah you know it's too bad yeah like dude you
a dude just died man like give us something no he just he just went back to climbing well i got i
gotta go back all right that's how i'd like to think if one of you died i'd be like all right
just gotta go back to the studio just replace one of us on the pod and not even mention it the next episode.
Dylan can't make it the rest of the time.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Whatever.
We got Micah in here now.
We'll figure it out.
Let's talk about how Brooks Koepka clapped back on us, Dave.
We clearly were in his dome.
Yep.
It came out.
This is also, and we're not going to get too far into it, but we mentioned on Patreon on Friday as well
that Brooks Koepka has a suspiciously aggressive lifting routine.
So the PGA's Instagram account posted this little graphic,
and it was like Brooks Koepka's upper body workout.
And I'm not going to go through it line by line,
but one of the one of the um sets on bench
press it was like 15 of 15 reps of 225 which that caught our eye we talked about it we were kind of
like eh this seems like his pr team kind of putting this out there to pump him up which it doesn't
need to happen um but anyway, he apparently got some blowback
and decided to drop a bench press video to the haters, including us.
And yeah, he did hit 225 15 times.
Not including us, at us.
At us, pretty much.
He may as well.
I respect that he didn't at us because he didn't want to give us that respect.
But we know what you're doing.
Yeah, he didn't want to hype the haters.
So he just did it without the app mentioned but it was the original sub sub tweet bench press video no one's doing that but yeah he hits it 15 times which is um pretty impressive
he's a golfer plays golf yeah seems unnecessarily strong for his craft also he did this the morning
of his round on Friday.
Yeah, which is what I said last episode.
I said the dude works out morning of his, like, during major tournaments.
He's out there in the gym getting work in.
What are you doing?
I'm more interested in what he eats to recover.
Because, I mean, he has to eat 5,000 or 6,000 calories a day.
To do that and then go out and play 18 holes of tournament golf?
Is he afraid of what his muscles are capable of
if he doesn't lift before a round?
Is he just going to be going 15 yards deep on every green?
Yeah, he has no shot control, no distance.
He's just been training himself and his distances with the tired muscles.
He just spins the ball so hard that it's off the green every time.
Yeah.
Too much compression for Brooks.
Maybe he's got
some PM grounds.
Okay.
Maybe.
How bad did y'all
want to play off yesterday?
Bad.
Bad.
I didn't.
Bad.
I wanted to see,
I like to see first-time winners.
Yeah, I guess.
It was anticlimactic
a little bit.
Yeah, but I'm glad
he sunk that putt.
I feel good for guys like that.
That was a...
Zinger kept saying,
like, that's a life-changing moment.
Zinger called it.
It's fun to watch.
If you went to a playoff,
that guy's not going to win.
No, he's going to crumble.
Against Ricky and Koepka?
No.
Yeah.
I would love to have seen it, though.
Yes, sure.
Because that dude,
first of all,
shout out to Zinger.
I love him.
You're a big Zinger guy.
I really am.
He's my buddy.
I have him for a while.
He's a friend of Dylan.
Yeah.
I think it would have been fun
to see Brooks and Ricky
just because they're
kind of polar opposites.
Yeah.
One's alpha,
the other's...
I'm not going to call Ricky a beta.
He's a little fella.
He's a little guy.
He's like my size.
He might be smaller than me.
He's shorter than you.
I just wanted Ricky in the mix
just to see his girlfriend a little bit more. Good yowzers glad you said it how many times uh
is ricky put 225 he can't none zero does it come off the rack and just cave his chest in he's got
he's built like a he's been like a little kid dude he does he have the ultimate i love that
you've been handing out that that insult lately oh it it's a good one. It's a good one. Like a little kid.
It's a really good one.
Does he have the trash body on the tour?
He's got a really trash body.
Man.
But he locked down one of the hottest women in the game. It's true, man.
The lady's like Ricky.
He's making more than me.
He's got a fun personality.
He's got some money in the bank.
Before we started working with the PGA, we still went to Dell Match Play.
And I saw Ricky.
He was just getting off the putting green.
And I asked him for a photo.
This was right after he got his dick kicked in by somebody on the course.
Like, he was terrible.
Shouts to you for putting him on the spot right after that.
Dude, he was so nice.
He crushed that photo.
Yeah, he was so kind about it.
I was like, okay, Ricky's a good dude.
I wasn't really sure about him for a little bit. he i take back what i said about his trash body why just because
he's a nice guy and i feel bad now i'm afraid he's gonna like he's i mean he's gonna clap back next
now that everybody on tour is clapping back at us he's gonna post a photo of him looking like ripped
up it's true and then it's gonna be on us and be like damn what do we how do we respond then we
throw a photo back at him.
Just ripped up.
Mid-rep.
I've been doing those free solo pull-ups.
Yeah.
I had the phrase free solo stuck in my head all weekend with just Jason Derulo saying it as if he was saying riding solo.
I couldn't stop.
I kept making hope solo jokes in my head.
Let's not go down that...
Did you watch the game?
Down that what?
Actually, this is a good segue.
There was a...
No, I did not watch whatever game you're referring to.
You didn't watch the England versus United States women's team game?
Why?
A number of reasons.
It wasn't good.
What time was it on?
When was this?
It was on at 6 o'clock.
I guess it probably started from 4 to 6 on Saturday.
PM.
I was on that PM grind.
Would you stop?
I watched it, but I watched it for different reasons.
Okay.
Okay, let's do the next segment. do the uh the next segment the segment that probably
most of the people on this that are listening right now are waiting for why did something
happen this weekend that we should talk about yeah oh so it's something that i've been thinking
about doing for a long time it's something that uh you know people have asked me like dude will
when's it gonna happen when's it gonna happen and finally i did it this weekend i got a playstation 4 and oh man i bought fifa and like a bunch of people added me which i didn't get a cool name
like dave did my name's just will to freeze why did you do that i'll be honest i was really
frustrated i was trying to load everything and stuff and i actually have an old profile that
i couldn't access it wouldn't let me have access to it. I think it was connected to an email that I no longer have.
And my username was, it was Sunday Scaries.
And then I couldn't, it wouldn't let me do it.
So I had to make a new one.
And I was so annoyed with everything that I finally just did Will to Freeze.
So you can add me on that.
What else happened?
I'll run train on people.
So what?
What?
You know what it is.
Come on.
Man United.
Glory, glory.
Yeah, something else happened this weekend, too.
What was it?
I got engaged on Saturday night.
Oh, shit.
There it is.
I told you guys Thursday morning, right before we recorded, that it was going down Saturday.
Yeah, we knew it was going to happen in the near future because you kind of clued us in on that.
I involved you two in my web of lies
in order to avoid Sally asking me questions
about where I was when I was doing stuff.
I was thinking a couple months out.
Definitely.
Do you want me to just pull back the curtain completely?
Tell us everything that happened.
So over Christmas,
I had the conversation with my parents
about doing it and
stuff and they they were very kind and did things to help me and then uh my original plan was to get
the ring made and do it she leaves for tulsa for six weeks starting next weekend so my original
plan was to get the the ring and when she was in tulsa and then do it after when she returned
man i can't believe she's going to be
living on Tulsa time.
Right?
So then,
I finally got the ring.
I picked it up from the jeweler
and it was a week early.
And I was like,
man, this thing's kind of
burned a hole in my pocket.
Did you go to Jacob?
I did not go to Jacob.
Or Kay.
Who'd you go to?
Dude, I went to my boy AJ.
He's in Westlake.
Hit me up if you need someone
in Austin, Texas.
Okay. Yeah. That might be... Okay okay we'll talk after he's tight he looks like hank azaria okay i loved him uh so he called me he's like yeah it's done a week early so if you want to
come and pick it up and so i picked it up and i was like shit i can't wait eight weeks because
it was going to be the week leading up to when she leaves for tulsa six weeks and then her and
i go on vacation right after i couldn't do it on the vacation because it's a joint bachelor
bachelorette party for some friends that I have and like you can't you can't propose then so I was
like it's gonna be two months before I can actually do this so my heart started beating real hard and
I was like all right I'm gonna call her dad right now and I just picked up the phone called him on
a whim I hit him up and I was like hey i've never called you before you can probably assume something right now and he just started
laughing he's like all right when do you want to meet up and so we met up had dinner and stuff did
it and then i was like all right saturday's the day so you just you called him did you do try to
do any small talk before like no what up no where you at nope y'all getting anything tonight couldn't do it there's no
point he knows what's going on he knew exactly what was going on he i could i can see the smile
on his face when he probably saw that my like number calling him he was like oh here it is
you already know what going on yeah that was nerve that was the most that was like
i was more nervous to call him the first time than i was to actually meet up with him and have
the conversation yeah i think because him and have the conversation.
Yeah.
I think because I knew how the conversation was going to go.
But it was the most nerve-wracking moment maybe ever for me until Saturday, which was the worst.
Like, the beginning of Saturday was the worst day of my life, followed by after it was done was one of the best.
You're a psycho for doing it Saturday.
Yeah. Why? Because Saturday is normally reserved for the best. You're a psycho for doing it Saturday. Yeah.
Why?
Because Saturday is normally reserved for the boys.
Dude, I know.
That was weighing so heavy on me the entire time.
I was like, man, Saturday is the only day I can do it,
but what are my boys going to think?
What are the boys going to think?
You're lucky we're supportive
because some of your boys would not have liked it.
I know.
Dude, a lot of people couldn't make it because they were were like dude i'm sorry but like i would love to be at
the party but saturdays are for the boys and i was like yeah i'm sorry too but i get it uh the reason
i asked about the soccer game was the soccer game while i did not want to watch it it was the only
thing that could take my mind off of what was happening i couldn't i couldn't
function like were you guys rex because i was i was a mess no yeah i had a pretty good little
saturday cool man are you talking about when we proposed yes uh no i was not to sound like a hard
ass but no no i mean i i just don't't. I think like 30 minutes out, I was like, okay.
And for me, there was some logistical things, nothing crazy,
but just needed to line up right.
Yeah.
And that's it.
But yeah, you doing it on Saturday,
that leaves you a lot of time to just hang out and think about it.
Well, I woke up at 7 seven and i just couldn't stop thinking
about it all day like every hour that passed i was like all right 11 more hours had the weather
been better we could have played golf or something before yeah i wish that i could have done something
before because sitting around on the couch all day watching tv with her and doing stuff like i
needed to not i needed to distract myself but i couldn't and i had nothing to do and so then like
when we finally got to an hour out i was like losing my mind i i was freezing cold like so
cold but i was sweating bullets so i was just sitting on my couch in my underwear like trying
not to sweat in my couch and i was like yeah i texted you and you were like yeah i'm just in my
underwear on the couch i was awful dude. Dude, what are you doing?
She was taking a nap.
So I like took the opportunity.
I cleaned our apartment.
I had the soccer game on a really loud so she couldn't hear me doing it.
But it's not abnormal for me to clean our place before we go out for the night because
I like having a clean place to return to, especially if I know I'm going to go get drunk
or something.
I want to come home to a clean place.
And I always toss on like a playlist pour a drink or whatever but my adrenaline is going so much that i had i poured two
pretty big whiskey drinks before and i didn't feel anything from it i was just like didn't
you tell me you put your hand on a stove to see if you could still feel exactly yeah
uh and then when it finally like started to happen i I freaked out because I told her parents that I would try to record it, take a video.
And I was so nervous beforehand that I couldn't get the phone into the tripod that I had taken from our podcast studio.
And I started fumbling it and I was like, she can hear me doing this in the kitchen.
She's going to walk in and be like, why do you have a tripod set up?
And I didn't want that to happen because it's just such a bad look.
To be like, well, you caught me.
Here's what I'm doing.
We're going to go viral.
Yeah.
You nailed it, though.
In the video that you took, it's great.
And everything's perfectly in frame.
Yeah, I did nail it.
You kind of nailed it.
I nailed the vid.
I still haven't even seen it.
Oh, you haven't?
No.
Yeah, I nailed the vid.
And it was stressful.
But I can't say enough about how much of the weight just goes away.
It was like the biggest wash of relief I've ever had.
And then the squad went out hard.
Man, so what is going to be the Patreon tier for invites?
I don't even know if Patreon has the credit card processing capability
of how much I'd have to charge in order to get invited.
It's in northern Michigan.
Yeah, so keep an eye out for a mid-summer 2020 wedding.
Man, I'm so glad you're doing it in Michigan in the summer.
Any chance I can get
to get out of Texas during the summer
I'll probably do my bachelor party in the couple days before
so that
I'm just going to make people take like three days
off of work and then spend the weekend in Michigan
I don't even care if I'm not invited
I am going to
oh it's an open invite
everyone's going obviously you guys are going
whole squad going
I don't know it was a wild ride open invite okay uh everyone's going obviously you guys are going whole squad going yeah uh
i don't know it was that it was a wild ride well well congratulations i'm happy for you guys it was
a fun night uh you know i'm still feeling the effects of that night i'll be honest i don't feel
great i did surprise her i thought she sally's nosy as she said on the mail-in podcast she has read my text before yeah and so
i was worried that she knew something was up and i was overthinking everything all saturday
she never does anything with her nails besides go to get them done at like a salon or whatever
she spent the better part of an hour cleaning up her cuticles on our couch
and i was just like why why are you doing that like
you've never done this before in front of me like do you know what's going on like do you know that
your hand is going to get photographed at some point she had no idea for the record no she had
no clue nice and so then like she actually thought i was kidding when i got down or when i said
something to her i was like i got i had originally told her that we were going to go out to dinner
with some friends then at four o'clock she texts two of her friends who already knew what was going on
and was like, hey, do you guys want to come out to dinner with us?
And they're both like, what?
Like, do you not know?
Like, what's going on?
So then we, she started getting ready.
And then I called her over and was like hey i have some bad news
for you we're not going out to dinner and she was like what and i was like we're actually meeting a
bunch of friends over at the south congress hotel for a party and then i got down on one knee and i
didn't even say anything i i blanked i fucking blacked out and i just handed her the ring like
i put it and she looked down and she still thought i was kidding was the ring in the box no it was
just outside of it okay in my hand she said that the she said that she thinks that if it was in the box she would have
thought it was more legitimate because just because wait why you had the actual ring what
else could you be doing she thought if she thought i was doing a bit or something i have this bit
that i've been doing for like a really long time it's it's been a long con where i will right before
we go out to dinner or something i'll like pat my jacket and be like hold on i just gotta make sure i got the ring on me yeah she does not like that joke
she doesn't find it to be funny yeah that's a jim halpert move yeah and oh don't say that he's a
cock well he that's his joke so he made a joke like that yeah fuck i didn't know that well sorry
damn it uh and so yeah she thought i was kidding and then finally she realized like okay
no this is not a joke and uh yeah i don't know so she said yes she said yeah yeah i told i told
a couple friends before i don't want them to find out through social media so i texted a couple
people before and somebody's mom someone told their mom and they were like their mom just said
what if she says no and i'm like dude why would you say that
no one's saying that
but here we are
so yeah those jokes can no longer be made
and it's over
so
there we go
what a night
is there anything else we need to cover on that front?
I don't think so.
No.
I think, I mean, yeah, it was pretty straightforward.
It is what it is.
Dave and I are recording with Sally later.
We'll probably go over the whole thing again.
And we'll hear from her side of things.
I think there's going to be heavy coverage of this occasion across all podcasts this week on the Washed Media Network.
It's to be heavy coverage of this occasion across all podcasts this week on the media network it's it's it's to be expected i think i'm going to have her on a sunday scaries on this coming sunday and ask her some questions that maybe aren't the traditional questions that
people get asked when they get engaged i think i broke the news on twitter i think you did how
did people sneaky micro vi how did people on the reddit the subreddit find out so fast alissa
posted something alissa's story alissa instagram story what was her story i don't remember uh it was something
of sally it was like sal i mean it was a photo of her either her and sally she had one of them
hugging and then one of maybe just her showing the ring you know the classic yeah showing the
ring i i didn't want to keep it off social media by any means like that wasn't a priority for me and i didn't care if anybody posted anything um i thought about waiting
myself to like post anything but then i got drunk and was like fuck it let's let this rip and i just
posted a photo yeah but you're posting like breadcrumb videos like uh champagne well i figured
i would i figured that i would post something that night anyway once it actually happened
i meant leading up to it leading up to it i was like i don't think i'm gonna post anything but champagne. Well, I figured I would, I figured that I would post something that night anyway. Once it actually happened,
I meant leading up to it.
Leading up to it,
I was like,
I don't think I'm going to post anything.
But it's really hard to not like share stuff with people.
I don't know.
I wanted people to know
that it happened.
Alyssa gained a lot of followers
on Instagram that night.
That's big.
Yeah.
That's big.
People were just mashing
that follow button.
Yeah.
People were ready to mash Saturday.
Sally kept doing this thing when someone wanted to take a picture with her.
She kept climbing on everybody's back.
Yeah.
I tried one.
I was like, hey, I want to get a picture with you.
She's like, okay, I'm going to climb on your back.
And she threw her arms around my neck and was choking me.
And we have one picture.
I'm like gasping for air.
She's out of control.
The sisters tried to do that, all three of them.
They tried to do like all three of them they tried to go before
they tried to do like a double piggyback they went they fell back onto the couch and the people
behind us they were not pleased yeah but you know what i'll be on down the wrong spot yeah if i'm
those people at the bar the last place i'm going to sit is next to an engagement party that might
get a little messy yeah sally and i also have very low tolerances we haven't been drinking very much
lately so just like drinking a bottle of champagne in like 20 minutes,
that's going to get us on the train real quick.
Champagne is just a gaslighter.
It's a hell of a drug.
But it tasted good.
Let's talk about Scentbird.
Have you ever had someone come up to you and say,
you smell amazing.
What cologne are you wearing?
It's been a minute.
Yeah.
Actually.
I actually used Scentbird that night.
Your boy tossed on some Tom Ford.
No wonder it went so well.
Mm-hmm.
Whatever scent you may be wearing, you have good taste and you know what you like, but
your taste is also expensive and you end up with a shelf full of half-used bottles.
You know when your parents used to give you just like bottles of cologne for like Valentine's Day and stuff?
It would last forever.
You didn't need that much.
Or you've been wearing
the one cologne
you were gifted years ago
because you're going to go out
and buy a new one
and it's just a hassle.
You don't want to do that.
No.
With Scentbird,
we found a way
to have a great taste
without breaking the bank.
It could be Versace,
Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana.
Scentbird.com keeps us smelling
good month after month.
They got something for the females too.
They got mommies and daddies. Sally was complimenting
Alyssa and Alyssa was actually
wearing a scent from Scentbird.
Yeah. Whole squad getting hooked up.
Yeah. I chose...
Do you guys remember what you chose?
I don't. Rag & Bone
and then some other ones.
The names, they leave me.
I got Acqua di Parma, Colonia, I don't know.
It's all Italian.
I just chose the ones that sounded the most expensive.
I got Tom Ford.
Yeah.
Because Tom Ford swags.
Yeah.
I'll say this.
All of them smell good.
I think I've gotten like eight so
far from them uh but you know just mix up your cologne and perfume routine it's a way to discover
new colognes and perfumes without buying an entire bottle and they have more than 450 designer brands
for you to choose from each month as i said gucci tom ford kenneth cole burberry prada oh yeah i got
that cartier lea you oh yeah you crush that dolce and gabbana
light blue as well rag and bone ergamot bergamot bergamot it says erga oh i don't know what i'm
doing whatever so what you do is you choose the clone you want to try they'll send you a 30-day
supply that's 120 sprays enough to apply more than four times daily for a month and honestly like
you don't need to go that hard if you don't want to yeah not sure what type of scent you're looking for you can sort the clones by
brand occasion season style more uh they've got user ratings and everything you can even take a
true scent quiz to discover a more personalized recommendation for yourself and with an exclusive
offer that's just for our listeners you can get 50 off your first month today that's only seven dollars and 50 cents for your first fragrance it's worth it it's that's cheap as chips yep go to
scentbird.com circling back use our code circling back for 50 off your first month that's s-c-e-n-t
bird.com circling back for you to try your first cologne and perfume for just seven dollars and
50 cents sign on smell amazing let's get a tanky off back for you to try your first Kelowna Perfume for just $7.50. Sign on.
Smell amazing.
Let's get a Tinky off.
All right.
I think we got two Tinkys off.
We went double Tink on that one. You talking to me too?
Hey, did you play the music?
Oh, yeah.
Tinky intermission music?
Dude, Tinky inter...
No one...
Find me one other podcast out there.
Just one that does Tinky intermissions.
You just simply don't see it.
You can't.
You can't find it.
Man, I can't wait for the guy i
met at the uh no agenda podcast meetup on saturday to uh to listen to this and it being his first one
ever because a guy i met subscribed and i was like i'll be honest dude this is gonna be weird
yeah there's a loading phase there's a lot of creatine we're the new creatine the creatine
of podcasts that was saying that dude that was a good meetup
I mean they had a great turnout
well let's fucking
knock it out of the park
when we have ours
what's it called
yeah
Eisenhower's
if you're new
yeah dude what's it called
there's a sponsor for the show
dude this isn't
this isn't because of
what's a Howard's
this isn't because of that
it's because my brain
is functioning at a low level
after a big weekend
for the record
I went
my brother-in-law's a big fan
of the no agenda pod
so I was
and he came in town for it
so I ended up just,
I went with him.
I wanted to see
what it's like to be on,
you know,
see how other pods do it.
Yeah,
and they're completely
listener-supported.
You did your due diligence.
Speaking of people
who are just now
listening to the pod,
so remember I did
my 23andMe
and this was actually
back at the Grand X office
and we found someone
who I was pretty closely
related to.
The professor?
In the 23andMe system.
The professor at the University of Colorado.
Dude, this is the first time I've heard this.
I have no clue what you're talking about.
Yeah.
You know how you can track DNA matches in your profile?
Yeah, yeah.
I know you can do that, yeah.
So my highest match was this guy who's a professor at the University of Colorado Boulder.
He reached out to me last week.
Really? He's like, hey, I reached out to me last week. Really?
He's like,
and he's like,
hey, I started listening to your podcast.
Oh, no.
I was like, wait, excuse me?
Sir?
What?
So Ivan actually responded to me
for a few reasons.
He sent me a long email.
I want to give him, like, you know,
a well-thought-out response.
But I thought that was pretty interesting.
Do you know how you're related to him it said uh second cousin and he said close oh nice dude in the subjects line he
mentioned two people that um he said are you the grandson of blank and blank and i'm i'm not but
the names are family names so yeah it's weird. I had to figure out the connection, but I'll report back.
Interesting.
Who's this blank and blank guy?
Yeah.
Weird, right?
One of my favorite ever teachers, his name was Mr. Blank.
He was an English teacher.
Someone got their schedule and it said English, blank.
And somebody told him that he was a freshman.
They were like, yeah, you can just go home if it says blank.
And the kid just went home and didn't go to class. Anyway, that was a terrible story were like yeah you can just go home if it says blank and the kid just went home didn't go to class anyway that was a terrible story remember blank man no one of the
all-time great 90s movies blank man yeah david allen greer not to not to dylan you i have no
clue you're talking about look up blank man it's uh i don't know why i've seen that movie multiple
times i enjoyed it i was kind of a comed superhero. I was more of a blank check guy.
Shout out to blank check.
Is it one of the Wayans brothers, maybe?
Oh, my God.
It's in that lexicon.
So I never saw this, but I 100%...
You know what it is.
It's Damon Wayans.
Damon Wayans.
I 100% remember seeing this on the VHS tape at the rental place at Showbiz Video.
Yeah, he was like a down-on-his-luck superhero.
Why did you shoot him in the head?
It didn't do numbers.
That's a line from the movie.
It did not do numbers.
You've seen it?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
How have you seen Black Man but nothing else?
His superhero uniform was bulletproof, and had just like a thing over his eyes
so his head was exposed
and then like one of the
villains was like
told his buddy
who had a gunpoint
I'm like why don't you
just shoot him in the head
and he's like oh fuck
I didn't think about that
and he had a bail on the scene
or something
it was pretty funny.
Blank Man was good.
We'll have to do a movie review.
Yeah so subscribe on Patreon
for our Blank Man review
dropping later this week. How did we get here? I don't know. Should we do a movie review. Yeah, so subscribe on Patreon for our Blank Man review, dropping later this week.
How did we get here?
I don't know.
Should we do a Worst Weekend story?
Wait.
Yeah.
So you need to become an adjunct professor at Colorado Boulder.
I don't think so, but I will be responding to it.
You could teach social media.
I will be responding to this, gentlemen.
Think about Dylan.
I know what kind of professor Dylan would be.
Drop the Chainsmokers quote in there about losing your
mattress. I am
not going to do that.
Professor Dorn?
Yeah.
Can you imagine you get your schedule
and you sign up for a class and it's
Professor Cheverier?
Cheverier?
Chevarire? Who's this asshole?
He walks in with some girls from the Theta house
and just drops them off at class and then just walks to the front of the room
and starts teaching.
Would you stop?
Is Theta even good at Colorado?
Dude, Dylan's just going to have a low-tier
Colorado sorority.
Dylan, yeah, rank the sororities at Colorado.
I'm unfamiliar, dude.
Let's do a worstst Weekend story.
If you're not familiar, every Monday we've been reading some Worst Weekends,
some stories from listeners like you who may have gone a little too far.
Like the guy who shot himself in the dick.
Yeah, we don't have that guy's full story for Worst Weekend,
but yeah, if you shot yourself in the dick, we kind of want to hear about it.
You can email me, will, at washedmedia.com.
You can send me any story that you have, and I i'll read it and maybe you'll hear it on this
podcast this one obviously they're all anonymous i love these i love these so much they're great
uh this guy he starts off hey bud kind of a condescending way kind of a condescending way
to start the email hey bud hey bud he said let's start from the top. This Saturday, I rode in a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans, my hometown.
I mean, you know from that point on it's going to be a lituation.
People from New Orleans are just different.
That means Fat Tuesday.
A lot of people don't know that.
Really?
Yeah.
Mardi Gras.
Tight.
Yeah.
Dave didn't know that.
Do you know that?
Bitch, I am Mardi Gras.
Whoa. tight yeah they didn't know that do you know that bitch i am marty grow oh wow this is something that all my friends and all my family friends are in on and everyone is on the same float having a
good time every year this year the weather decided that nobody was going to have fun the rain started
early as we lined up to roll we have our costumes on with mask and all you legally have to keep mask
and costume on during the whole ride,
just standing on the top level in the pouring rain.
So me and my longtime buddy decided it's a great time to start chugging Fireball.
So, is he saying it's legally required?
Like, that's just like a rule they have, right?
Yeah.
Or is that like Mardi Gras-wide?
Like, it's just like a tradition?
Is that like an unwritten rule?
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think you're going to get cuffed and stuff for not participating.
Yeah, we seniors.
Put your mask off.
All right, what are you up to, kid?
Put that mask back on.
I've only been to New Orleans once. It was between Christmas and New Year's, and it was cold.
I imagine that rain in New Orleans is not great
and I imagine that the city gets a little gross.
At least it's cold.
Because if it's hot and wet, ooh.
You might think it'd be a little cleansing
for the streets of Bourbon Street.
Yeah, maybe.
That's actually true.
Yeah.
I never want to go to New Orleans when it's hot.
Ever.
I don't blame you.
The sweat and the smells, it's just not for your boy.
I don't think I could handle it.
You can get muggy.
So, okay, I don't hate if it's cold out chugging the Fireball.
I know Fireball is much, you know, disrespected on social media.
And I understand it's a trash whiskey.
But as far as doing shots goes, Fireball is not the worst thing for me to do a shot of.
Yeah, I kind of agree with that.
I would rather do a shot of fireball than a shot of Jack,
just because I'm less likely to have my gag reflex kick in and me throw up.
That's fair.
That might make me a beta or re-solidify my spot as a beta,
but that's just how it feels.
You know, I had a conversation.
I don't want to at anybody,
but your future father-in-law is supposed to be playing in a golf tournament
this morning, like today, Monday morning.
It's very cold out.
It's like about 32.
Yeah.
And he was contemplating how he was going to do it,
and fireball did come up.
He's not opposed to having a little nip of fireball in order to warm up a little bit.
Yeah, I was like, I don't think you've got a choice, sir.
I took a little bottle of a mini fireball bottle down in my golf tournament on Saturday that I played.
It was cold and misty.
You truly don't give a fuck.
Everyone did it.
Everyone.
Man, that was a good time.
Weather was shit.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Let's get back to the story.
What?
Did it warm you up?
It did.
The weather was so shit, it put a damper on the day.
We still had a blast, of course, but when it's 40 and misty and foggy, it sucks.
Well, I wasn't going to say this part of it,
so you guys heard me say that before I proposed to Sally that I had a couple whiskey drinks.
It was fireball, and it was kind of whispering temptation into my ear.
It was not fireball.
And I was feeling all right.
It was Saturday night.
Shut up.
And that's how we did it around there.
I can literally see you looking at the screen for these lyrics.
Did you pull up lyrics?
He did pull them up.
I saw them.
You're trash for that.
I'm out of you.
I knew what he was doing.
Get to this guy's damn story. pull him up. I saw him. You're trash for that. I knew what he was doing.
Get to this guy's damn story.
At this point, I've eaten half a sandwich and I'm already three APAs deep at 5 o'clock.
The whole route takes about five hours, so this was not
ideal. Wait, what PA is deep?
APA. American Pale Ale.
American Pale Ale.
That's related to the Indian Pale Ale.
I'll be honest. I've only been at one parade
in my life and it lasted about 15
minutes. Being in a five hour one just sounds like a little too much.
Yeah.
But we went ahead and continued down this road, so whenever rain got us down, we pulled out this bottle.
I'm having a great time throwing my beads, making dudes go out for passes with footballs, all-around fun times until it hit.
Honestly, that does sound tight.
Throwing out beads in footballs?
That sounds great.
Yeah.
Anytime you're on a float in a parade and you can throw a that sounds great yeah anytime you're on a float
in a parade and you can throw a football off of it you're in having a good time yep i wake up in
my bed not remembering half of the route how i got home just complete memory loss i've never
blacked out before so at first i'm big time panicking humblebrag you never blacked out before
yeah i never believe people when they say they've never blacked out i'm always like you probably did
once and you just don't really realize it like jay bone said he never did and then i drank with
him like the second time i ever drank with him he 100 blacked out uh let's see i lost my spot
i wake up in my bed not remembering i know i already said that part i'm sorry
turns out my father basically carried me off the float at the end.
When we are soaking wet, I told, or no, I am told I didn't make a fool of myself, but
the anxiety is still there.
I also did not pull trig, so that's a plus.
I don't know how you could not possibly make, or not make a fool of yourself if your dad
is helping you off the float.
Yeah.
And I imagine he'd feel better if he had pulled trig um i thought
this was going to end with him like i don't know like doing a bradley cooper like peeing himself
on the float or i don't know is that what he did oh i just spoiled that part of the movie for you
yeah i won't say which movie but it's one that you uh you think is absolute trash that you don't
so glad that drag will week is over on the Reddit.
Oh, I'm sure they're going to find something.
No, no, no.
The podcast is still here.
You're on Touchbowl this week because of what happened.
Yeah, exactly.
And like, shouts to all the people on the Reddit who gave the congratulations to Sally and I.
It was really nice on there.
They're going to trash you for not proposing.
Like, they're like, can't believe he took the ring out of the box and proposed.
I really hope that catches fire.
No, don't say that. if he took the ring out of the box and proposed. I really hope that catches fire.
No, don't say that.
He said, so naturally all Sunday I spent in bed nursing a massive hangover
while my longtime girlfriend is on a trip
so I have nobody to lean on in these desperate times.
This morning I wake up, it being Monday,
I get ready for work with the soreness and pains
from throwing items for five hours straight
with the hangover that's still looming over me.
I basically want to die hit a little frozen shoulder mixed in with a hangover that's not good
i get it frozen shoulder frozen what is it frozen i don't know what is it you get when you you just
throw your arm out i don't know there's a feeling you get in your shoulder and your elbow when you
throw over and over and you're like washed and you don't you know you're not an athlete yeah
it's just not good.
Your arm's dead.
Dead arm, maybe.
Dead arm, sure.
Dead arm is probably a better word to say.
I've never thrown enough to know.
It's a term.
No, it's not.
All my orthopedic people know it.
Okay.
I'm going to look it up.
I proved Dylan wrong.
He's been wrong a lot lately.
You said halfway through.
I do respect that, yeah,
it's nice to have a girlfriend around
when you're really hungover
so that, like, you can tag team tasks together.
I needed to go to Target yesterday to get my PS4, and I was like, I'm not going alone.
You have to come with me.
I'm going to lose my mind if I'm there alone.
Man, what a chore you had to knock out there.
I know.
Damn, this is the face of frozen shoulder, Dylan.
Look at that.
Look at the pain she's in.
Oh, it really is a thing.
Congrats.
Look at that, dude.
Her shoulder's fucked up.
Good for you.
You know more than I thought you did.
I don't know if it's right, though.
I heard Dylan gets it from cranking.
Halfway through the work day.
We're not going to do that.
We're not doing that.
Halfway through the work day, my boss calls me into his office, and I was just trying
to mail it in until I can get home and crawl into my bed.
I mean, yeah, we've been there.
How old is this guy?
Do we know?
He seems young.
He said, good news.
I'm getting a raise.
That's a good little pick up on a Monday morning.
Yeah.
If you black out for the first time, you don't assume that you're going to get like a raise
the next day.
No, it's usually the opposite.
He said, bad news.
In my hungover state, I basically give the reaction of great, thanks.
And we continue to have a 30 minute meeting about how much more responsibility I will be taking on
and how much I can grow with the company.
Oh, it's a promotion.
He said, which it all sounds like a living hell right now,
which is understandable.
I mean, it would be tight to get a raise,
but sitting there in a conference room hungover,
it sounds like the worst thing in the world.
This guy sounds like a candidate for hashtag lunch beers.
Yeah, if he didn't have a lunch beer, should have it'll make him feel better and he's
kind of earned it maybe one lunch beer hashtag lunch beer singular so this last line i'm not
sure if i should read yeah yeah you got to now because i i'm worried that maybe his girlfriend's
a backer and she's not going to want to see or she's not going to want to hear this.
Should I read this?
He included it.
He said, and to top it all off,
I am proposing to my long-time girlfriend on Thursday and the nerves are enough to pretty much kill me.
Oh.
Congrats to the lovely couple.
But he included the line.
Yeah.
So I think it's safe.
So put it in there.
If you're engaged, respond to my email.
I want to know how it went.
Congratulations.
Was this last week? Yes. Okay. This came in last week, last Monday. safe so if you're engaged respond to my email i want to know how it went congratulations was this
last week yes okay he this this came in last week last monday well then he's proposed then he's
already done it yeah so what's it what's the big deal i don't know i just you know you never know
i thought you were about spoiling a potential upcoming proposal no no i just i'm hoping that
he did it and plans didn't change okay i see I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's find out.
Hope it went well.
So, I mean, it sounds like he's getting his terrible weekend.
Somebody's tweeting me.
They're like, dude, no one gets engaged in March.
That was McGannon.
Oh, yeah.
McGannon did.
Oh, yeah.
Shouts to Kyle Bandujo, too.
Yeah.
Dude, that was great.
Yeah.
He got you.
Did you know he was getting engaged?
No.
I didn't either. Did he get Will or did Will come over the top top of him that's a different way of looking hard to say well kyle uh texted me
right after he did it and i like looked up and i was standing at the kitchen counter and sally was
next to me i was like guess what she was like what i was like kyle bandujo just got engaged
and she was just like everyone's getting engaged besides us aren't they
blah blah blah and i was just like oh man you have no fucking clue shouts to kyle though shout out to dadgum pod and the
trouble with the script yep i'm recording my next week
should i just send out a kyle bandujo confirmed engaged tweet. Yeah. Three days later. Yes. Confirmed. Man.
Shouts to him, though.
His start on the DMs.
Mine kind of start on the DMs, too.
It goes down in DMs, as they say.
Yeah. People are right.
That's all we got from that guy.
Congrats on your raise and getting engaged.
I guess your weekend sucked, but your week following was pretty dope.
Is this guy a backer?
Yeah.
Certified.
Certified?
Certified.
Okay. I was going to say, now he's got a raise, he has no excuse. Yeah. following was pretty dope is this guy a backer yeah certified certified certified okay i was
gonna say now he's got a raise he has no excuse yeah oh man also thank you to everyone who when
the reoccurring monthly payment hit and maybe you changed your card maybe you had to get a new card
because you left it at a bar or something there was a handful that got either declined and we're
like oh no we lost a few people. Well, you came back strong.
Yeah.
This Monday morning has been very, very good to us.
We have apologies.
If there's anything
technically wrong
when you're trying to sign up
for Patreon,
we apologize.
Dylan's putting them on blast.
That pissed me off.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I try to make a fun little joke
of it on Twitter
by calling Patreon out.
It's frustrating.
But that pisses me off.
Why?
Because it's literally
taking money out of our pockets?
It's taking money out of our pocket and people are trying to give us money so they can hear
our content.
Yeah.
And Patreon, because their system sucks sometimes, it's just not letting them.
If you are having issues trying to-
Sucks for them, and it sucks for us.
If you're having issues trying to listen to it through the Patreon app, do the RSS feed
thing.
You have a private link to the Rss feed that you can install into your podcast
app i believe apple podcast is the easiest way to do it that's how i've done it and that's how i
have re-listened to the episodes and it works i understand that people have issues with the
patreon app i've actually never had any issue with it i wonder how many people haven't signed
up just because patreon is not letting them i don't know i mean is there is a is it five people
or is it 500?
I don't know.
I think a couple months ago, there was a...
Actually, it was like last month.
This chick was like,
Hey, I don't know what to do.
Can I call you and you help walk me through this?
Because I can't get the Patreon to work.
And I was like, I'm sorry, I'm not technical support.
And I've written off giving out my phone number to random fans.
You are.
But in the.
I only give out gamer tags.
At Fajita Boy Swag on Xbox.
But, yeah, she figured it out.
I was like, I wouldn't be able to help you.
I'm not the guy.
Good.
But.
Frustrating, man.
Also frustrating.
South by Southwest is in our backyard.
They're doing some kind of
creativity panel
Patreon is
and they don't even
hit us on
the podcast
that they are
working with
have less subscribers
than we do
we've been around
for like a month and a half
people are calling us
the fastest rising podcast
on Patreon
you're moved Patreon
were we top 40
like within
a matter of weeks
yeah
we're at like
ranked 33rd now
I believe
I don't know where you're getting this information from but like sounds good it sounds like good information Like within a matter of weeks? Yeah. We're at like rank 33rd now, I believe.
I don't know where you're getting this information from, but it sounds good.
It sounds like good information.
And for the record... I'm getting this information from graftrion.com.
Yeah, I always check it out.
That's my number one source for Patreon stats.
We are currently ranked...
Analytics.
Let me see.
Let me see, folks.
It's patreon.com.
We are currently the 33rd ranked podcast.
I love that.
Climbing...
Who's one above us?
One above us is a podcast called Stephen West.
We're right on his...
Well, Stephen, I got bad news.
We will take him over by the end of the day.
Stephen, you're out.
We're coming for it.
Do you remember how long we were right behind Comptown on the iTunes charts?
The top pot...
Yeah.
The Comboys.
Yeah. The Comboys are ranked sixth. They're really popular on Patreon. Dude, they're killing it. long we were right behind come town on the itunes charts the top pot yeah boys yeah the come boys
are ranked sixth they're really popular on patreon they're killing it the top podcast of course is
choppo trap house makes sense they have 26 471 patrons what is choppo trap hey guess what choppo
we're coming for that ad that's a lot of patrons it's a good one if you have a business
or brand
and you're doing
some kind of
South by party
and you have a panel
even if it's just a party
let me tell you this
you need to have us
on as panelists
we will not
we will not say no
to any panel invite
we might
we might
yeah okay
there's a couple
content restrictions
on that but
we're gonna we're gonna do some panels this year i'm gonna really try to hone in my south by
strategy i've not done well in years past yeah if you're a south by specialist if you're somebody
who like knows what's going down we should know this but we don't please explain and you like
maybe get us like a dope pass dope pass or some kind of perk.
Hit us up.
If someone asks me what South by is, I'm always just kind of like, what?
I don't really know.
It's just kind of a bunch of douchebags hanging out together.
That's a good way of describing it.
And it makes Uber search pricing way too...
It makes downtown just super chaotic.
You know what's cool?
We can pretty much do what we want.
We can just go down to Woodrow's and do a live pod.
We can do, just to go people watch, just go get in the mix.
Obviously, we're going to do Eisenhower's for the official thing.
But just on a random day, if we want to go down, beat, just check out the scene,
maybe do some interviews to get some video content, we could do that.
I love Little Woodrow's over South By because it turns into Club Woodrow's on the patio.
I will definitely be there.
I remember that. It just suddenly turns into a club it's weird it's great though club wood rose
do you guys know that uh sexual performance issues are more common than you think
obviously over 25 of new ed cases are guys under 40 40 of men by the age of 40 struggle from not
being able to get and maintain an erection.
Even the world's greatest actor can't fake one.
No.
He can't.
It's all about blood flow, man.
Why do you guys turn to weird solutions or do nothing when they can, you know,
turn instead to medicine and science?
Well, I got a solution for you.
4hims.com.
It's a one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care, and sexual wellness for men.
And thanks to science, ed can be optional hymns connects you with real doctors and medical grade solutions
to treat ed well-known generic equivalents to name brand prescriptions to help you combat ed
no snake oil pills or gas station counter supplements have you guys ever tried a gas
station counter supplement for erections i never you'll no i haven't but i know buddies who have
been like think it's funny and they'll like buy it and try it.
Yeah, that stuff's sketchy.
Yeah, for sure.
Look, it's a common problem, but it doesn't have to be.
It doesn't have to be.
These are prescription solutions that are backed by science.
One ED pill, starting with a V, just came off of patent on December 11th.
It's a game changer.
No waiting room, no awkward in-person doctor visits,
no lines, save hours by going to 4hims.com.
Check it out.
All you have to do is answer a few quick questions
and chat with a doctor for a confidential review.
Products are shipped directly to your door.
And bada bing, bada boom, you're good.
Severe ED isn't just an issue for rich old guys in bathtubs.
It affects men in their 30s and 40s.
That's us.
That's our demo.
Yeah.
We know some of y'all got some problems down there.
Yeah.
And being your best means performing your best.
It's erectile without the dysfunction.
Nice.
For just $5 a month, they can try this stuff out.
4hims.com slash steam to activate that offer.
4hims.com slash steam.
Get that trial month
for five bucks.
They'll get you started
for just five bucks
while supplies last.
See the website for details.
This will cost you hundreds
if you went to the doctor
or pharmacy.
As Dylan said,
4hims.com
slash steams.
Steam.
Sorry.
It's okay.
Singular steam.
Man.
One episode.
People said we weren't
going to talk free solo and engagement in one episode. Man, one episode. People said we weren't going to talk free solo
and engagement in one episode.
And erectile dysfunction.
And erectile dysfunction.
No one is doing that.
No one.
So I've got an open slot on my Sunday night TV viewing.
Yeah?
Now that True Detective's done.
Can you give us a rating of how it went
for those at home who might have been saving it
to see how it panned out?
I enjoyed it.
True Detective is a series that I respect,
but it's a series that I need confirmation that it's good
for other people who have watched before I will watch it.
There's some performances that are just out of this world.
I thought the acting was excellent.
The two cops.
I don't know the white dude's name, but Mahershala Ali.
I think he'll get an Emmy or at least an Emmy nod for it.
I mean, he just won an Oscar.
No, it's good.
It is a little bit slow, but I think the story's cool,
and I don't know.
It was well worth it for Sunday night viewing.
Okay.
But now my Sunday's opened up.
I'm officially out on Walking Dead.
I'm done.
I hit up my old PGP writer
Charlie, he was tweeting about it last night
on Twitter
and I was like dude I can't believe you're still in on this
but he's pot committed as I was
but the character kill offs
or changes they've done
I was like I can't do it anymore
I have no desire to watch this cast
I get that
anytime I see people um tweeting
about that show i i as someone who's never watched it i'm like why are you still doing this everyone
says they hate it now part of me wanted to continue to do it for the occasional content bit
but now it's not even worth it um so yeah i need something else else to watch i know i've had some
recommendations uh my wife's watching uh some old show about the queen of England back in the day.
I don't know.
One of those.
Is it the queen?
No, it's not the queen.
It's like the white queen.
Or the crown, I mean.
It's not the crown.
Hey, we got The Bachelor tonight, right?
Yeah.
I'm actually looking forward to it.
Is this one of those three-hour episodes?
I don't know.
We got one tomorrow.
Yeah, I got Girls Tell All tomorrow night.
Oh, we're going back to back.
Yeah.
Fuck. Okay. Yeah. Fuck.
Okay.
Yep.
Okay.
Tonight, I don't know.
We're kind of in the good parts, I think.
I'm kind of excited for what's going to happen.
I think we're going to get to some action.
Hey, sorry to everyone who got their stuff spoiled by Dylan on Wednesday's episode.
I don't think I really spoiled it.
You spoiled it without spoiling it, Dylan.
No, I didn't.
You spoiled it without spoiling it.
I gave my guess as to who would be the next Bachelorette.
Yes, and it was very telling given who you didn't name.
Well, if you run the tape back to a prior episode, I threw the other name out, too.
Okay, well, there's three women left, Dylan.
There's three.
Yeah, I know.
I just learned that our good friend Chris Harrison is an alum of my, not my law school, but the undergrad.
He's an OCU star, Oklahoma City University star.
He played soccer there.
Huge.
Yeah, I didn't know he was a soccer guy.
I kind of...
Makes sense.
Kind of wish I would have known that before I met him.
Yeah, we could have had some fun and easy banter with him about that.
Yep.
But I think it went well.
If you didn't know that, if you're new here,
go back and listen to our first or second pod that we launched on this feed.
We interviewed Chris Harrison.
Yeah, big.
Probably our biggest guest ever.
He's one of our best friends now. It's great. And Colton, of interviewed Chris Harrison. Yeah, big. Probably our biggest guest ever. He's one of our best friends now.
It's great.
And Colton, of course.
Yeah.
Chris Harrison did say that we should hit him up
if we want to get some cue with him next time he's in Austin.
Oh, we're going to do a mandate with him.
We're going to play 18.
We're going to go get some cue.
Probably going to hit Rainey.
Probably going to hit Eisenhower's after.
We're going hard.
Look, if he comes to Austin and doesn't connect with us,
he's dead to me. I'm saying it.
I'll hit him up on LinkedIn.
He told us to DM him.
He doesn't follow us, though. I imagine his DMs
are probably full of
Thetas from UT.
Don't follow, Chris. What's your problem?
Colton did it.
Colton never followed me.
He followed me.
I still have his phone number, but I'm pretty trigger-shy. Colton never followed me. He followed me. Damn.
I still have his phone number, but I'm pretty trigger-shy.
We were going to FaceTime him on Saturday.
We actually were going to do it.
Dude, please tell me we didn't do that.
We didn't.
But we were going to FaceTime him and look for his congratulatory blessings for Will.
God.
That would have been fucking hilarious.
Shall we?
We shall.
Happy Monday, guys.
Let's get this.
Later. Outro Music