Circling Back - Will's Going To Be A Dad & Middle Parts
Episode Date: March 1, 2021Big news when it comes to the Washed Media and Circling Back families — Will is going to be a dad. We talk that and more about everyone's Weekends in Fun, dive into the TikTok war between Gen Z and ...Millennials over middle parts and skinny jeans, and Will's Breaking News involving Prince Philip, Armie Hammer, and Jason Sudeikis. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (10:24) Recapping This Weekend In Fun (30:21) Will Is Having A Child (40:50) Middle-Parts and Skinny Jeans (54:42) Will’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Hims: www.forhims.com/steam (full refund if you’re not satisfied after 90 days) Stamps: www.stamps.com (click the mic at the top of the screen and use CIRCLINGBACK for 4-week trial, free postage, and a free scale) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer the only hard
seltzer with vitamin c and super fruit acerola my name is will defries and to my right david
carter ruff let's get this business
dude call me busy mcguire over here i knew today was going to be really good when i turned into the
parking lot this morning and um my daily mix one i believe on spotify uh threw a little song at me
maybe you guys are familiar with it little ron, Throw That Ass in a Circle. Is it about
Randy? Ron.
Dave, don't get us
like DMCA'd or anything. I am familiar
with that song, actually. I'll give you the...
I believe that's the song that was playing in that
restaurant. That is exactly, and that is
why, which I have listened to a total of
once. They got the owner
in a frenzy.
True Kitchen in Dallas.
True Kitchen in Dallas.
There was a twerk battle going on.
To be fair, though, if that ass in a circle is on,
the only thing I'm doing is throwing my ass in a circle.
What else are you supposed to do?
I don't want to imagine a scenario.
I can't picture it where that song comes on
and I'm just sitting there enjoying my meal like a normie.
Exactly.
Imagine not throwing that ass in a circle, Will.
Can you?
I'm trying to.
No.
Yeah.
I can't.
By the way, we totally glossed over that it's not a new sponsor alert,
but new off-the-top sponsor alert.
Yeah.
Shout-out to Vizzy.
You ever heard of something called a presenting sponsor?
Because that's what we have now.
Wow.
Big for the squad.
Big for watch media.
Big for Vizzy.
Welcome.
You could say that this might be the biggest thing to happen to Vizzy maybe ever.
Dude, I'm so thirsty.
I'm about to Viz right now.
I Viz'd last night after I got home from the airport.
Y'all Viz without me?
Sorry.
I never Viz without me.
It was family business.
If y'all are Vizzing, I want to Viz too.
Okay.
Hey, it's not personal.
It's just business.
No, you already said that one.
Yeah, but I worded it differently.
I like that.
That's good. I did that one. So thank you. said that one. Yeah, but I worded it differently. I like that. That's good.
I did that one.
So thank you.
It went viral.
It didn't go viral.
I can't believe I'm able to focus on this podcast considering the display Randy was just putting on in the corner just now.
I hate when there's something like the Vizzy thing that launches and I'm late to Twitter and I look to see how y'all have already marketed it,
and I'm like, damn, that's how I wanted to do it.
Thinking like, man, what am I going to do?
Because you guys both had good tweets about it.
Randy had an okay one.
I definitely had an excellent tweet.
And I was like, dude, these guys beat me to it.
Yeah.
These guys beat me to it.
So I got to give credit where credit's due.
Let me be the first to give credit where it's due, and it's due right here to these guys.
I'm the first to accept your credit, and thank you for it.
And while I'm here, Will, let me be the first to congratulate you on your pregnancy announcement.
Thank you.
I'm pregnant.
Man, it's crazy that I got the top comment on there.
It's just doing absolute numbers.
I'm lapping the field.
I'm currently offering.
If you want the top comment on either my Instagram or Sally's, we're currently taking offers.
For it to get pinned?
Yeah, so if you want us to PIN your comment,
you can just Venmo us.
I feel like mine is just kind of,
like, by default already PIN
because it's just a great comment.
Wait, you can PIN comments on Instagram?
You can PIN comments on Instagram.
David, how are you just now knowing this?
I don't really even read them.
I just look at the numbs.
All the fun's in the comments, dog.
That's something.
No one's ever said that you're right um yeah people
are talking about my comment more than the actual child wow really people are talking about a comment
that you made on instagram more more so than your wife here goes dylan trying to make it about him
per use but still congratulations it is big news for you well let me be the first let me be the
first to apologize for dylan making it about him and not you and your wife dave thank you for being the first to apologize to me for
dylan making it about him and not me and or my wife well i thank you for acknowledging that
yeah those are those are great pics that you guys both got off thank you great pics you two look uh
just you know at will to freeze just gonna melt a player over here you know. At Will DeFries. Just going to melt a player over here. You know what I'm saying?
People are thinking this thing's going to come out looking like Prince Harry
or the dude from Dave.
Which dude from Dave?
The redhead with the big beard.
Let's go with some programming notes before we dive into today's episode.
I'm rattled right now.
Shouldn't be.
Is it because of Randy?
Yeah, do we want to talk about Randy's thick ass before we get to the program?
It's out of control. This segment's called
What's Your Problem, Dylan?
Should we give Randy the mic so he can say that
he's allowed this to happen?
Can I set the scene? We're sitting here about to
record and he looked at the calendar that's
at the corner over here to my right.
He's like, oh, I gotta go change that. We're in March now.
Like, okay, whatever. I look over
and I'm like, I'm just totally I don't know the word for it, but blown away maybe.
Taken aback.
Taken aback at what I was witnessing.
Literally.
And that was, Randy is just crazy.
Lord have mercy, I'm about to bust.
I mean, just, it's all ass in my face over here.
I can't compose myself.
And I had to get the phone out and capture
the moment.
The jeans on this guy today.
Oh my God.
Curvy, bodacious, thick.
Don't say bodacious.
Just cake.
Stupid.
Too early for cake on a Monday.
He's the captain of the all ass team over here at Wash Media.
I don't know who's even close to him.
After seeing his, I don't want to be on the all-ass team here
because I don't want to be in the photo for it with everybody.
I'm going to start wearing a long trench coat just to cover my ass up.
I'm so embarrassed.
Don't start wearing a long trench coat.
Okay, I won't do that.
Do they have trench coats that are also shirts?
Ooh.
Wow.
A shinch coat?
That's not going to work.
No, that sounds like something Army Hammer would have.
In his dungeon?
Mm-hmm.
Where he eats people or whatever he does, allegedly?
If you want to see what we're talking about, go to at DShivery on Twitter, which also coincidentally is me.
Don't promote yourself.
It's my Instagram handle, but this is on Twitter.
Check out this butt, dude.
Juicy.
Hey, Comfort, work for Wash Media.
We'll put your ass on Twitter.
Yeah, I hope I don't get canceled for this at some point.
You might.
To be fair, though, he's having the time of his life. No, Randy's like the happiest I've ever seen him over here.
I made his week already.
His DMs are about to just be wrecked.
Randy, you can't stop laughing.
Nobody looks that good in bootcut jeans, but here's Randy.
They look like bootcut jeans.
Are those apple-bottom jeans?
Yeah, they kind of are.
Oh, you hit him with the boots with the fur, too.
I see that.
Damn.
Those are ASICs.
Oh, okay. Oh, so they're not boots with the fur? No, I see that. Damn. I'm getting big. Those are ASICs. Oh, okay.
Oh, so they're not boots with the fur?
No, they're just all white ASICs.
What are those?
Cole Haan's my dude.
Cole Haan's my dude.
Oh, goodness.
All right.
It's time for the programming notes.
Go follow Circling Back, Pod, and Watch Media on the Grom.
Also, leave a review and five-star rating, of which there have been many lately.
Can't speak highly enough to our reviewers.
They're just great.
Also, go tell a friend about the podcast or two, maybe even three.
Just drop it in the group text.
Group text is a great place to tell friends.
That's what I think, too.
I think it's the easiest place.
Hey, tell them about the Patreon thing we're going to do.
I mean, it's not really some big thing.
It kind of is. For all you non-patrons out there thing we're going to do. I mean, it's not really some big thing. It kind of is.
For all you non-patrons out there, we respect your listening business.
A lot of non-patrons are listening, Will.
So let's get them on board.
We're going to start dropping more tastes for you guys on the TL, the main TL, for free.
Get you in the door.
Yeah.
We want to convince you.
We want to earn your business.
A sneak preview.
Patreon TL, right?
Where are we dropping it?
The normal TL.
A free sneak preview.
Right, a sneak preview.
Yes.
Of the episode.
So they can get a taste.
A sneak view.
It's like you go to the store, they give you samples of whatever.
Here, try this.
No, they don't do that anymore.
It's COVID-19.
Okay, let's talk about it.
Grocery store trips are much different now that we can't have free tasters.
Maybe not for you.
In 2019, you go to the store, and the little lady with the shower cap on, she's like,
Hey, you want to try this, you know, whatever it is.
You've had like five minutes to think of a tester.
Try this number of foods you could select.
Try this Earl Campbell sausage that we just made over here.
Oh, this is good.
Yeah, you would think of that.
That's free, but you can also buy a bigger version of it that costs money.
She hands him the toothpick, and Dylan just puts his hands behind his back.
Gently pulls it off the toothpick with his teeth.
Oh, goodness.
Earl Campbell sausage.
That's what you came up with.
You went glizzy on this, huh?
He has his own sausage.
Right, familiar.
Yeah.
He's a longhorn legend
right um
what it's a snee view is what people are calling no one's doing that weren't you a sneaky pre guy
back in high school uh youtube.com slash watched media also has every episode that we do on the
free feed on there also go check out watchmedia.shop. New shirt dropping today, actually.
What?
New shirt dropping today.
Should we talk about it right now?
New shirt alert.
It'll be on our main feeds,
but the Washed Athletic Club shirt will be dropping today.
You can go cop one.
It might be on the site right now.
It might not be, but either way,
we're going to spam the TL with it,
so it'll show up eventually.
Just get happy about that.
Just know that it's going to be there at some point.
Also, BitMadness seating is on Reddit and Discord.
Go vote right now.
No, never mind.
It's done.
Don't do that.
Who didn't update the programming notes, Randy?
Looks like Randy fucked up again.
Too busy.
He's got his head up his ass.
That's why he's so fat.
Dude, how long is his neck?
Hey, so when I tweeted that pic. He's a his head up his ass. That's why he's so fat. Dude, how long is his neck? Hey, so when I tweeted that pic.
He's a Kim Kardashian type.
Brett tagged an account that didn't exist, which was Watch Media HR.
That account now exists.
It makes sense that it exists now, yeah.
It's now a real thing.
Cool.
Can't wait to get the company canceled because of that account.
Should be good.
Also, Patreon scheduled this week.
Shouts out to all the patrons.
Bachelor tomorrow.
Tomorrow we got after we got after the,
no,
we have a, we're going to tell all tonight,
right?
Yeah,
they're going to tell all.
Do we know if we have anything else tonight
outside of the women tell all?
Do we have any,
any,
uh,
there's nothing in Orlando.
Oh,
that's big.
Tell everything.
Uh,
also R&B radio on Tuesdays,
voicemails on Friday.
And that's that.
You guys ready to,
uh,
recap this weekend and fun.
Sure.
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Dylan, what did you do this weekend?
Wow, thank you for asking, Will.
I had a pretty fantastic weekend, actually.
So last week, as I explained, we had to postpone Parks' little birthday celebration
with the family because of the winter storm.
Still looking for that text.
His party is still happening.
Like party party.
Like birthday party.
You won't be there because you don't party.
Okay, David.
That's just stupid.
Anyway, Friday night we had family come over.
Dallas, which is Parks' mother, was there.
And her parents and her boyfriend was over there.
This is at my house, by the way.
Oh.
The whole crew getting together.
My family was there.
It was a great time.
That's weird because you'd think his godfather would be there, but that's okay.
Sorry, Dave.
You'll be invited to the actual party, though.
I can't make it.
We got some Italian food up in the crib.
Where'd you go?
Fizzoli's?
Was it by Bene?
Well, Mandola's.
I had to feed a lot of people.
And your boy was shouting out for it.
So, Mandola's.
It's pretty good, man.
Went over there in Circle C off Slaughter?
No.
William Cannon.
Oh.
And Mopac.
Close to the crib.
We're doing very specific locations here.
Yeah.
Most people aren't going to care about that detail.
You got a 405?
Get on MoPack.
And it was good.
Parks had just an absolute blast.
It was awesome.
It was a great night.
Yeah, man.
I'm sure it was awesome.
Thank you.
Thanks for the invite.
I would have hated to eat Italian food over the weekend.
Oh, yeah.
I really just have never been a fan of it.
You know what I hate doing?
Eating Italian food with all my friends.
It's the worst. Sheesh. Okay. I get it. I get just have never been a fan of them. You know what I hate doing? Eating Italian food with all my friends. It's the worst.
Sheesh.
Okay, I get it.
I get it.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh.
The rest of the weekend, not a whole lot, man.
Stuff is still pretty locked down.
We went to the playground.
I had parks the whole weekend.
We went to the playground.
I took him to the gym, to Lifetime.
He loves the child center up there.
Mixed it up with the little tykes.
They have fun.
I got a pump in.
It was tight.
Got a pump in, David?
Oh, like a workout?
Yeah.
I saw you on the playground.
Didn't they call you Lil Pump back in the day?
Yeah, they did.
I don't know why, though.
Pump Daddy?
Underrated campaign trail was Lil Pump being at one of the late-stage Donald Trump rallies.
And he called him Lil Pimp when he introduced him.
It seems like a year ago, but it was really like four months ago.
Did he need a pardon?
I don't know.
Did he do anything?
Did he Lil Wayne the situation?
That really did work out well for Lil Wayne, didn't it?
He finessed the president.
It's a pretty good move.
Anyway.
I saw you on the playground.
Where are you going with this joke?
No, that I just backed you down.
No, I don't think that.
Dave, come on, man.
I put you in a blunder.
You did not, dude.
He watched you spin around like into a beautiful oblivion.
I would back you down in that paint so hard.
No, you wouldn't.
You'd switch.
You'd have double pivot foot, and I'd be calling traveling every time.
We're not even allowed to run fives with Randy anymore because Dylan's going to be like,
no, I got Randy down low.
I can't handle that booty.
Dylan's trying to post up on Randy the entire time.
He's just down in the paint throwing that ass around getting all the boards, man.
Why am I the face of –
There's no three-second rule when Dylan's down low with Randy.
Watch the hands. watch the hands watch the hands why am i the face of wash media hr twitter account that's the horn that's the horny account or the horny jiff is that what that's from okay
like the mustache is kind of you have kind of like an authoritative uh presence you know it's true
yeah everybody says that about me yeah dude what the D-Man get into this weekend? Not much. Sick. Got to tell you.
I was on late-night bottle duty.
So it was pretty much me and the child from about 11 on.
I was feeding him, changing him, doing it all.
First time I've really done all of that stuff by myself.
And it went fairly well.
No major freak outs or anything.
He did.
Dude, it never ceases to amaze me the range that an infant can urinate.
Because the stream is just amazing.
It's like, how?
Like he's peeing on the wall.
Dude, he takes after his dad.
He's having to duck his head.
I can't recall Parks ever doing that.
Like, peeing, like, as I, you know.
As you changed him?
Yeah.
It's apparently very common.
I know, but I don't think Parks has ever done it.
You're a pee boy, though.
Yeah, but I normally don't pee on myself.
Yeah, that's one thing that I've known about you for a while now.
Yeah.
You're kind of a germ guy, so you don't want to piss all over yourself.
Well, it's, yeah.
I just, I try not to drink so much that I pee myself anymore.
That's good.
Yeah.
Do you ever try to mix up the late-night bottle stuff with Rhodes,
and you just toss sparklers on the bottle before you bring it in the room?
You're doing bottle service.
We hired some people from Pop to bring it in.
They're looking to make a little extra money on the side.
Do they have a lullaby version of Mo mobamba that you can request they play venga
boys it sounds tight we like to party lullaby mobamba yeah that's sick i'm trying to think
of how that would go but i can't really put my brain can't put it together right now yeah
i'm not i'm not sheck west does not do lullabies I'm not musically inclined enough to pull that off
um
what else did I do
man I
it's
I mean dude
it's gonna be
for the foreseeable future
for your boy
it's gonna be the same
it's not really too much
I tuned into the UFC card Saturday
it was pretty shit
um
I texted with Dan and Micah about it
I texted our group text
had some fun in there.
Hopped on, tried to play a little Verdansk with KJ and the boys
and had to bail out because Rhodes was crying.
So, yeah, man.
There's not a worse feeling for me than having to bail out of a game.
We were talking earlier, the investment that goes into dropping into Warzone.
It's like a 30-minute game, right?
Oh, I forgot to include something about my weekend.
Can I drop it real quick?
Yeah, I wasn't in the middle of mine.
Go ahead.
I got 14 kills in one game.
Oh, dude, that's so awesome.
14 kills in one game.
I bet Randy's never even done that.
Dude, you're obsessed with Randy.
Randy, have you?
Did y'all get the dub?
Nah, man.
This is just like a stat padding.
My teammates are really holding me back.
I needed some help.
I was just...
We'll have to ask KJ
about that.
KJ wasn't in that game.
Who was in it?
It was Zach and Klein.
Why are you going to do
Zach and Klein like that?
My back was hurting
after that one,
you know what I'm saying?
Because he got blown out?
Because I was carrying the team.
Thought something
might have happened
to the gulag.
Emphasis on goo.
What's wrong with you, dude?
Anyway, back to your...
You used to call your thing the gulag back in the day.
Yeah, it's true.
That's gross.
Jeez.
Sorry.
Anyway.
What?
I've lost steam.
Dylan derailed with something you were saying about the time investment that you put into that.
My 14 kills was more important than whatever he did.
Dylan's making this entire pot about himself.
First, he cucks your pregnancy, and he's cucking my weekend.
I'm sorry, man.
Sally always knows when I'm playing an online FIFA game
because something will happen, and I'm like,
oh, nope, you've got to handle this.
It's like, I'm not going to pause for 30 seconds
to go run and sprint and do something.
I need that 15 minutes.
Oh, yeah.
You can't stop in the middle of a FIFA game.
No.
It's every man for himself out there.
Yeah.
It's tough out there.
Will, did you do anything?
I went to Vegas for the first time on Wednesday.
Dude, you're so money.
Sally got real tired.
The second we landed, I started just volume shooting beautiful baby jokes,
and that did not go over well.gas baby yeah beautiful babies i was like oh
i love the smell of beautiful babies in the morning so i was just like stop did y'all rent
like an old convertible i wish now something dude why did no one tell me how close the vegas
airport is to the strip oh yeah it's so It's so close. Never asked. It's all right there. It's so close.
Vegas is sick, dude.
You know, Vegas has like a connotation to it.
You know, everyone knows like a lot about it.
And I've always said that the best way, if I was ever going to go for my first time,
I wanted to go with my pregnant wife.
Yeah.
That's how most people do it. That's how you do Vegas, man.
That's how you turn up in Vegas.
And the best time to go is the end of February on a Wednesday morning.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my.
Lit.
Big time. Lit. I mean, it was like high rollers morning. Oh, yeah. Oh, my. Lit. Big time.
Lit.
I mean, it was like High Rollers only.
It was like a fight night atmosphere in there.
I thought it was like Tyson Holyfield again or something.
The energy in that town on a Wednesday is just different.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
You just get in there and it hits you.
I do miss that city.
I want to go back.
Your boy did hit the sports book.
Let's go.
Did you win monies?
I actually did win a little money, Dave.
Let's go.
Thank you for asking.
I bet Man City in the Champions League game, and it won.
What was the game yesterday?
I watched a little bit of it.
Chelsea-Man U.
Is that 0-0?
Yeah.
Real cool investment of time by me.
Yeah.
I've learned to – someone made a very good note one day.
They said anytime Will hypes up a game, it ends 0-0.
And they're completely correct, especially when it comes to Man U.
So I didn't watch much of that.
Vegas, though. Vegas, though.
Vegas, baby.
What a time.
It's just a weird place.
It's crazy, man.
What happens there stays there.
So if you don't want to disclose anymore, you don't have to.
Oh, good call.
There was some dude behind me in the sports book
who just sounded like he was absolutely ruined,
and he was talking to his buddy, and he was like,
man, I've got to stop doing this and i was like oh no like oh dude what
did this guy do last night i looked back and i saw a very nice watch on his wrist and he was like
he's like i gotta stop coming to this city he's like i come in here with 20 to 30k like every
weekend and i just come out with nothing yeah you gotta stop yeah dude that might be a it might be
a good time for you to stop you You could buy a fleet of cars.
Yeah, running the numbers on that one is not going to look good for him.
Based on his outfit, he could afford it.
I was like, okay, yeah, he's dripping.
But that kind of gave me some anxiety.
That's a lifestyle that just gives me anxiety to even think about.
Your boy went to a Japanese restaurant there called Zuma, went off on some steak, had some sushi.
Was it like you?
Surf and turf.
I mean, you could technically say it was surf and turf.
We had a bunch of steak on the table and a bunch of fresh fish.
Yeah, that's surf and turf for me.
It was lit.
It didn't have to be on the same plate.
It was lit.
Yeah, then we woke up the next morning, and Sally and I went back for, I guess we, I didn't
even get to do this weekend in fun last week.
But yeah, we decided to go back to Laguna Beach where we got married for a little resort
action.
How sweet.
And yeah, it was a wonderful time.
Do you guys want me to speak to seeing Hannah and Dylan from The Bachelor?
Or should we save that for Circling Badge?
I think we might need to save that.
Dude, that's a crazy story.
You should save that for tomorrow.
Like that story is wild.
Epic, dude.
He's going to save it.
He's going to save it.
Wow.
Everyone tune in.
Hey, did you?
We did this weekend in fun.
What was the thing that Brett did when he was explaining Top Shot?
We did this weekend in fungible...
The way he explained what Top Shot was,
which, by the way, I think you're the proud owner of,
whether you know it or not.
What, Bounce Pass?
Digital trading card.
Thank you.
I still don't know how this works, and I'll tell you this.
I don't really care.
Just know that you own a Bounce Pass right now.
Okay, perfect.
Yeah.
That works for me. It's the only asset that appreciates. So I'll tell you this. I don't really care. Just know that you own a bounce pass right now. Okay, perfect. Yeah. That works for me.
It's the only asset
that appreciates.
So I hope you appreciate it.
I appreciate Randy's asset.
Wow, well said.
I think everyone does.
Mm-hmm.
Someone called him
Randy Trimbackey.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
Pretty funny.
We just tooled around
Laguna Beach for a little bit.
Well, are we going to talk
about the announcement? I mean, we kind of covered it already, but that was a big part of your weekend, little bit. Well, are we going to talk about the announcement?
I mean, we kind of covered it already, but that was a big part of your weekend, I think.
Yeah, it was a big part of the weekend.
We'll talk about it in a sec.
Did you see my comment on Sally's post?
Yeah, what was your actual comment, dog?
What was it?
Something about the squad doing straight numbers right now.
We've got Rhodes in the mix.
Yeah, we were.
We've got a little baby to freeze coming.
straight numbers right now.
We've got Rhodes in the mix.
Yeah, we were.
We've got a little baby to freeze coming.
So they upgraded us
to a room
that we,
the actual exact room
that we stayed in
for our wedding.
Let me upgrade.
And it was like,
it was the nicest surprise
I've ever gotten.
No, stop.
Is that Beyonce?
Just stop.
What I didn't realize,
like,
we live in a city where people smoke weed.
It's like legal here.
Everybody is burning weed.
You're allowed to have a small amount of marijuana on your person.
You're not going to get in trouble here.
Smoke some, bitch. I'm the one smoking marijuana.
People be blazing all the time over in California.
Oh, they just let it rip, dude.
The dude next to me, he looked like Sean Penn.
Was it Sean Penn?
They were staying in the place next to me.
I walk out.
You can bring your dog to the resort. He had his dog sitting on a dog bed on their porch and then he's just sitting there just ripping a j next to me and i was like dude
you are chilling right now did you hit it with oh dude no tell him the dog story i was like come on
bro tell him the dog what's the dog story remember what you texted us didn't you have a
unplanned oh my god okay yeah so okay This is, I'm glad you remembered this.
So we get back from dinner and it had been a late night. I had been drinking pretty much all day.
I was just kind of, you're on vacation. It was Friday. I didn't really have anything to worry.
It was actually Thursday. I didn't really have anything to worry about.
And so because we were in a state that was legal, I decided to partake in, in the marijuana.
You burned.
I burned.
Don't take notes. So I went outside and I decided to burn on the little lawn. You burned. I burned. Don't take notes.
So I went outside and I decided to burn on the little lawn that we had outside of our hotel room.
And so I was like, you know what would make this really kind of chill out here is if I downloaded that stargazing app because the stars were absolutely popping while we were there.
So I just have the phone in the air and I'm just looking at all these stars, just kind of like loving it.
And then all of a sudden, I just see this dog just sprint by me.
And so I'm like, okay, what the hell just happened?
This wasn't some small dog.
This wasn't like a Cavapoo like Micah has.
This was a dog.
Getting lifted, looking at the stars, man.
It was tight for a little bit.
And then all of a sudden,
this dog decided to just sprint through the door
of our hotel room
and just start running around our hotel room.
So like Sally is like taking a shower
and I'm sprinting around the hotel room
trying to wrangle this German Shepherd, which was badass, by the way.
Was it a chill dog, though?
Yeah, pretty chill dog.
Brown and black?
What was the color scheme on this thing?
Yeah, brown and black.
Aren't they all?
And so you don't really know.
Anytime a dog sprints into your hotel room, you never know what to do.
What am I supposed to do with this thing?
Chill with it.
Is this like a complimentary dog from the resort that I can play with
for the rest of the weekend?
I don't think they do that.
I don't think they do that. We didn't hear anyone calling its name outside. And
so I decided to grab, I grabbed it by its collar and I just started leading it towards the door.
And Sally knew something was up because she just heard me. She's like, it sounded like you were
talking to Rosie. You were the second the dog walked in, you were like, Oh no, Oh nope. Over
here, over here. And it was just the weirdest situation of all time. And, uh, little did we
know that apparently this dog was staying with another family, not near us. And it was just the weirdest situation of all time. And little did we know that apparently this dog was staying with another family not near us.
And it had just escaped that night.
But we saw it around the resort the rest of the time.
It never ran up on me ever again.
How did you get it home?
I didn't.
So I shut it out the door.
And then it started barking.
And I was just watching it.
And while it was barking, I think that the owner started calling its name.
And so I think it just ran back.
Wild scene. You don't think it just ran back. Wild scene.
You don't want that happening to you.
I suppose not.
No.
Maybe we want Rosie there, though.
I was like, what the fuck?
Why didn't we bring Rosie?
Yeah.
Whatever.
Glad you guys had a good time.
It was a very good time.
You want to talk busy real quick,
and then we can hop into the baby stuff?
Busy, busy, busy.
It's been a long time since we've been able to do this.
Can't you see?
Dylan, it has been said that contractually you're not allowed to do that.
I want to see the right.
I want to see that.
You can't.
It's in a PDF.
It's locked.
Show me the contract.
You can't edit or see it.
I think they like it when I do it.
Do you ever have a time when you have to make a difficult choice
because all the options are too similar?
Sometimes I think to myself, I'm like, all right,
I want to go to Matt's All Rancho tonight. Should I text Dylan or Dave? And you guys are too similar. Like, sometimes I think to myself, I'm like, all right, I want to go to Matt's All Rancho tonight.
Should I text Dylan or Dave?
And you guys are very similar.
And then I just text Dave
because your phone never works.
Wait, why can't you just text both of us, though?
Because your phone doesn't work, unfortunately.
You should get the iPhone 13.
But the option with something extra
always makes the choice easier.
Am I right?
Mm-hmm.
How about the first hard seltzer
with antioxidant vitamin C?
Because Vizzy brings something unique and delicious to the table, baby.
Grab yourself a drink that can do both with Vizzy Hard Seltzer.
Dude, they just dropped a tweet about their four new flavors.
Let's go.
What are they?
Papaya Passion Fruit, a match made in juicy heaven.
Wood.
This combo is a dream, and you won't want to wake up.
is a dream and you won't want to wake up.
You have raspberry tangerine. Summon your
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Don't take a pill in Ibiza. Just order a
Vizzy. Blackberry lemon will.
Let's go. I had a blueberry
pomegranate last night when I got home from
the airport. Really? Yeah. That's a good flavor. I'm not ready to move on from the old flavors. I know I'm going to like them last night when I got home from the airport. Really?
Yeah.
That's a good flavor.
I'm not ready to move on from the old flavors.
I know I'm going to like them.
That's because you haven't tasted the new flavors yet, Dylan.
I know.
I get that, but I just love them so much.
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.
No one's doing that.
Explain this one to me.
Watermelon strawberry.
Enjoy watermelon high mixed with sweet strawberries.
Harry doesn't know what's coming.
Harry doesn't know what's coming Harry doesn't know what's coming Harry Styles
Oh
Watermelon sugar
Hi
You know that song
I don't
You really don't
No
Man
You killed that dog
Harry Styles
Dude he's pretty good man
He's got swag
He's got some
He's got some boss
You can't deny the swag
Watermelon sugar high.
You've heard that song.
Well, he doesn't know what's coming, Dylan.
Well, maybe we should link and build with Harry Styles.
That's all I'm saying.
Well, there are plenty of hard seltzers to choose from, Dylan.
Maybe you can have them with Harry Styles.
Okay.
You know, in April, they're launching its own lemonade hard seltzer
in four delicious flavors, including watermelon, peach, raspberry,
and strawberry with the same delicious antioxidant vitamin C. But they also have the pineapple mango, black cherry lime, strawberry kiwi,
blueberry pomegranate, papaya passion fruit, all the ones that Dave just said.
Please tell me that they have acerola in them.
All of them, dude.
Oh, my God.
It's a super fruit.
I know.
It's a super fruit.
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That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.
You must be 21 or older.
So, yeah, I'm having a kid.
Dude.
It's kind of weird.
I feel like we haven't talked about it in public for so long.
By the way, very impressive job at keeping it a secret this long.
It wasn't that hard, to be honest.
I almost let it slip, I don't know, 17 times while recording.
Because I'm just kind of dumb sometimes.
I held it together.
I want to give props to you guys for not letting it slip,
despite how long you've known for.
Yeah.
But it wasn't something that, I mean,
Sally got into it on Sunday Scaries yesterday
about why we kind of didn't do everything right away.
But, I mean, you guys had a lot of pressure on you to not let something slip especially like dave over here i feel like you
talking baby stuff it probably would have been a lot easier to bounce stuff off me it ran through
my head not to um involve you in a manner in which would uh lead people to be like wait what will to
be honest we thought that the way that they would be revealed to people because we slowly told
everyone we knew or most people we knew.
We put it on our Christmas card.
And I thought that the one way
that Sally would get found out
would be like a trip to Matt's El Rancho.
Yeah.
One will mommy at Matt's El Rancho
and all of a sudden it's over.
That surprises me.
And it's not like she hasn't been posting
on social media.
She's just gotten very good at hiding the bump.
Well, she didn't really have much of a bump to hide for a long time and then i've even posted photos of her on there that like just you
couldn't really see it there was one recently i think at lily's uh shower yes that blew my mind
and i was like until she was pregnant there i was like huh that's really impressive good job
did she hit you up to talk about hiding the bump like based on your experience david we're not
doing that man it's a cocaine make it
i was doing boner jokes actually oh really oh yeah compression shorts i'm not good at hiding
you gotta do the tuck oh it's a tuck tuck method for sure do you tuck elastic waistband all right
oh yeah of course little will's gonna love this well let's, let's play back the episode when Dad talked about
what's going on
on a little trip down memory lane.
Well, you just said...
See how my father
talked about me.
You probably should just
not think about that.
Let me tell you.
Oh, no.
That's one thing that, yeah.
No, we're not finding out.
Very cool.
So, yeah, we don't know
if it's a girl or boy.
I'm pretty sure
it's going to be a girl.
Yeah.
Do we want to put wagers on it?
It's 50-50, right? You got to think. You got to think. It's a girl. Yeah, do we want to put wagers on it? It's 50-50, right?
You got to think.
You got to think.
It's a girl.
Is it?
I'm pretty sure.
I don't know.
There's a lot of ladies in the fam.
Does that matter?
I don't know.
You could say that I'm due,
but I don't really have any faith that it's not.
I mean, I think it's a coin flip.
Sally, I mean, Lily's pregnant as well,
and she is, I mean, she's going to pop at any moment now.
Do they know gender?
No, they don't know either.
And so if she has a girl, I'm going to be dead set that we're having a girl.
I think they're having a girl, and I think you're having a boy.
No.
No, you're having a girl.
Part of me wants a boy so that he and Rhodes can just be a wrecking crew together.
They're going to fuck shit up.
Yeah.
They're going to be like coming to us at the same time asking for skateboards and stuff.
They can, you know what, if it's a girl, they the same time asking for skateboards and stuff. They can you know
what if it's a girl
they can fuck shit
up too.
That's true.
Girls can skate too.
It's gender neutral
to fuck shit up.
Ladies as pimps too
man.
Parks is going to be
like putting them in
trash cans in high
school and stuff.
Oh yeah.
Making fun of them.
Roach is alright.
He'd have to be in
his sixth year of
high school but yeah.
Jeez.
We'll get him out of high school.
On time, I think.
Hey, congrats.
Do I have dad energy?
Dude, hey.
It's coming around.
Big dad energy, right?
Oh, yeah.
Dude, that's sick.
Do I have a dad bod?
Dude.
Dad bods are sick.
You're hot, dude.
Dude, the dad bods are in.
God.
Why do people try to make that a thing?
Dad bod? Yeah. Because it people try to make that a thing? Dad bod?
Yeah.
Because it's easier to make a thing a meme on the internet that's acceptable
than it is to actually work out is what I've learned.
True.
Yeah, Dylan.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Sally did numbers.
Damn.
Will's weekend.
Yeah, she did.
You see the top comment, though?
When I click on the top comment, it actually has Dave's first when I click on it.
Are you kidding?
Why did my emoji do numbers?
Dave's emoji did numbers.
Real cat pat.
Dave, no offense, but your emoji stunk.
A lot of people are saying that mine is the real winner.
You're actually the third one down when I click onto here.
What?
That's too bad.
What a joke that is.
Sorry, dude.
It's the same for me.
People are wondering if I'm going to name my child after a community amenity.
Yeah. Some kind of publicly funded infrastructure of sorts, maybe.
People are thinking bridges, but I don't know if that's going to happen.
Bridges to freeze is kind of tight. Overpass to freeze.
All I'll say is this. If it's a boy, we have a name. If it's a girl, we have no clue what we're
doing. We are hung out to dry right now. We've been tossing around a lot of names,
but nothing's really stuck yet. Did you guys bring the book on the plane no we didn't
i've already read that entire book now dave dave gave us a book that was uh baby wizard name or
something baby name wizard whatever yeah yeah it's a very robust resource for names and a lot of names
it might be too much i was very overwhelmed it's a info. We'll see. We didn't even end up going with anything from it.
Wow.
It must be nice to have a big brain that can think of your own names.
I don't know.
Look at you two in this picture.
Come on, man.
Cute shit.
Yeah, we recorded the episode of Scaries because I was like, well, Sally, I would kind of like to sit down with you and talk about it.
People are going to want to hear from you anyway.
So we decided to do that. And then it kind of got to the point where it was like, oh, now we have to post something before Sunday because the episode is going to drop.
So I was like, all right, Sal.
Luckily, we had our buddy who actually did some photos at our wedding.
He came and knocked out some photos for us.
Dude, Sally has a lot of followers.
I just realized this.
Is she doing numbers?
She is.
She's sneaking up on 5K.
That's a lot.
Having a famous husband, I guess, it'll do that.
You act surprised.
Why are you surprised?
Do you think my wife's not followable?
No.
I mean, I follow her, obviously, but that's a lot.
That's a lot for college folk.
Do you remember when you didn't follow my wife for like six years?
Yeah.
You don't have to keep bringing that up.
Well, I haven't brought it up in a month.
I just thought that I did, but I didn't.
I hate when that happens.
Oh, I thought I did, but I didn't. I hate when that happens. I thought I did, but I didn't.
You know I love Alyssa.
She knows it too.
Dude, there's nothing worse, though, when you don't follow someone,
but you've known them for so long and see them regularly that it's like,
well, now I can't press follow on you because it's just going to be awkward
when that happens.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know how to handle those situations.
There's no easy way.
There needs to be a premium pay thing where you can just slide in there.
You have to know when they're doing like a post so that you can just try to slide in there with the likes.
Yeah.
But now they're reforming how likes work on here, so you can't even fucking do it.
What are they doing?
What are they doing?
I don't really have much more to say about this child.
Hey, man.
I'm excited.
I do.
Get ready, Will.
I'd like to be the first to congratulate you guys.
Wow.
Thank you. You're welcome. Let me be the first to thank you for congratulating us i accept that
yeah to everyone out there i've i've tried to respond to a lot of people but there's just so
many so many nice dms and comments and stuff like that you can't respond to them all but i really
appreciate it made me i'll be honest it made me really like more excited i was already really
excited but like having everyone reach out it felt. Y'all are in a good position
because Lily and Drew
will have just gone through it
and you've got me
who's just gone through it.
And that's your best,
that's the best resource.
There's books,
there's apps,
and they're helpful,
but like nothing's better
than like KJ,
me talking to KJ
and him being like,
oh yeah,
you need to do this.
You need to buy this.
You know,
I'm a dad too,
by the way.
Yeah,
but you're like,
what,
five years away from it?
Yeah,
the game's done changed. Yeah, you don't know. My son you're like, what, five years away from it? Yeah, the game's done changed.
Yeah, you don't know.
My son just turned six, man.
Six years away.
He's doing numbers.
We're out here buying high-tech things that like, I don't even know, like rocking to sleep and stuff.
Dylan's buying Parks Lincoln Logs and shit.
He has Lincoln Logs.
Lincoln Logs are tight.
Yeah.
He told me they're trash.
He said he hated them.
I don't think he ever played with them, no.
It's weird that little kids aren't into like...
Fake wood?
Mm-hmm.
Does Parks respect wood?
He respects wood, man.
Okay.
Okay.
Ooh, I had my first espresso martini over the weekend.
I should have said that this weekend in fun.
Will's weekend.
Yep.
Had my first ever espresso martini.
I think that's the reason that I got so twisted when I was hanging out with that dog.
Was that martini from y'all's place that y'all were staying?
Mm-hmm.
And that's where I had one, right?
Mm-hmm.
They're very good.
They were very good.
I can see why they're a thing.
I don't see myself ordering them anytime soon.
Don't tell Brett that.
I'm glad that I've had one, but I don't need to make that a good part of my life. I wish I had a different name if I'm being honest. I don't, I think Duda
actually spoke to this in a recent Duda's one thing that he talks about on his sub stack,
but he essentially said like, it's not even close to a real martini with like vodka or gin in it.
So it should just be something separate. It's essentially just in a martini glass.
Yeah. Right. It's just what it's served in.
You could serve that
on the rocks
in like a double old-fashioned glass
and I think I would like it
just as much.
What's the liquor in there?
Is it vodka?
No clue.
You got to think it's vodka.
Let's look it up.
If you told me
it was something weird,
I'd believe it.
Cold brew, vodka,
simple syrup,
coffee beans,
coffee liqueur.
No, Dylan, it's hideous
liquor just don't make them joke for two you know don't get too sweet with it ruin it i just
so heavy with regular marts right i think kj got a key kj got a key for kj very big for him
by the looks of it i don't think it's working.
He got in today?
He came in with me.
Oh, tough.
Gross.
He'll get there.
Should we move on?
Dylan, you got to stop today, man.
Why?
What's he doing?
What'd I do? Are you thinking about Randy still?
No comment.
Are you wearing a man outfit?
Is it Henley Monday right now?
It's Henley Monday.
Dude, he went Henley under shacket.
Yeah. I dress like trash Henley under shacket. Yeah.
I dress like trash sometimes.
Everybody knows that.
I didn't even know people still had their Man Outfitters Henleys.
The other one I wear is also Man Outfitters.
I donated mine, unfortunately.
It's the one thing they did right.
You don't do Henley Thursday?
Well, I lost the weight, and I was like, well, I'd have to fill out more in order to fit in this again.
So what am I going to do?
Yeah. Oh, bro. Lift. Yeah, but my arms are the perfect size right now. I was like, well, I'd have to fill out more in order to fit in this again. So what am I going to do?
Bro, lift.
Yeah, but my arms are the perfect size right now.
Yeah, you don't want those getting any bigger.
Dude, look at the complete and utter lack of definition.
Those are arm goals.
Do you want to put this on your timeline?
Arm goal.
Dude, these are perfect.
Yeah, look at that.
It's like PVC pipe, dude.
I'm horned.
Thank you.
PVC pipe. What are like PVC pipe, dude. I'm horned. Thank you. PVC pipe.
What are we even doing, man?
What's next on this rundown? Can we talk about something that took over the entirety of TikTok for a little bit?
Ah, yes.
Middle parts and skinny jeans.
Gen Z versus millennial.
Dude, it's finally happening.
We're finally going to war with these little fucks.
Gen Z versus Millennial.
Dude, it's finally happening.
We're finally going to war with these little fucks.
This has been somewhat off my radar,
considering I've been outspoken about middle parts.
Some people have been tagging me. You're the godfather of anti-middle parts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My opinion hasn't changed, by the way.
I just keep my mouth shut about it.
What's your opinion, though?
I forgot.
No, you don't.
I forgot.
You didn't?
Well, this says Millennials and Gen Z are feuding over side parts and skinny jeans on TikTok.
That's why you haven't heard of it because you don't even TikTok, dude.
Yeah, I don't.
Do you have the app?
I do, but I don't think I've ever opened it.
Remind me after this pod.
I've got a TikTok ID.
Okay, perfect.
I meant to text this.
It says the topic of side parts and the older generation's affinity for them has been making its way around TikTok for months.
See, this is like embarrassing that we didn't even know this slander was happening and it's all coming to light now.
But it says with a viral video by a user who goes by Lady Gleep, heightening the conversation over the summer after she encouraged her fellow TikTok users to prove me wrong.
But I don't think there's a single person who looks better with a side part than they do a middle part.
Oh, I cannot disagree.
This is the anti-Dorn.
How old is this person?
Too young for you.
Like 17.
Don't look at me.
I don't know.
I got nothing for you.
I don't know how old Lady Gleep is.
Lady Gleep.
I kept my mouth shut because a lot of people like middle parts.
I get it.
Give us your take.
because a lot of people like middle parts.
I get it.
Give us your take.
Do you want to guess how many views the hashtag middle part has amassed on TikTok
since this happened?
Can I point out, though?
Three million.
142.8 million views.
What?
Can I point out how ahead of the curve I was on this?
What's your take, though?
How are you ahead of the curve?
You won't even tell us what your take was.
I was ahead of the curve on having an even tell us what your take was i was
ahead of the curve on uh having an opinion one way or the other about metal versus side parts
here we go i was first when i was when i was going in when i was going in on parts people
no one else was talking about them what were you what what is your like issue with i forgot what i
what i say i can't remember randy pull. Nah. These Gen Zers are getting ruthless.
They're just bullying people about...
Yeah, that's not cool, y'all.
You can't be bullying people for their side parts.
Even if it's virtual bullying, it's still bullying.
What's Gen Z again?
Young, I don't know, young people.
Oh, okay.
Teenagers to early 20s, I think.
Is Parks Gen Z?
No.
What gen is he?
Parks is Generation Alpha, I believe.
Wow, that's kind of tight.
Wow, unlike his dad.
If you like toxic masculinity, that's really cool for him.
Way to go, Dawn.
I didn't name it.
Gen Z, is anyone born after 1996?
Oh, jeez.
Randy, what year were you born in?
94.
Nice try, Randy.
Randy was born in 94, if you want to feel old.
Nice try, bro.
Randy is one of the younger millennials out there.
I'm one of the older millennials out there.
See, there needs to be something that splits up millennials because Randy, he and I
are different. We're built different. You guys are not the same. We are not the same. We saw him
standing in the corner of here. We know you guys are built different. There he goes. Dylan is just
really. Randy has cake with motion and you're eating cake by the ocean. You are not the same.
Wow. Did you have cake by the ocean over the weekend? I actually did have cake by the ocean, you are not the same. Wow. Did you have cake by the ocean over the weekend?
I actually did have cake by the ocean.
I thought you might have.
Thank you for asking.
We picked up a cake.
Let me be the first to ask.
We picked up a cake from the place that made our wedding cake and we had a little cake
by the ocean.
I actually meant to send you guys a pic.
Look at you two, man.
What a weekend.
I was probably wrangling dogs.
Who let the dog out?
Why are skinny jeans getting dragged?
I know.
So if we had Barrett on here, Barrett would say, well, everything's trending towards things being loser fitting now and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, yeah.
No, it's all trending that way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so –
That was good.
Someone said, I'm sorry, but the generation that ate Tide Pods do not get to say where the part in my hair goes or what pants I wear.
Thanks.
Shouts to Taylor Raines.
I don't see me going back to baggy jeans.
Not that I wear super skinny, but I can't go back to JNCOs.
Why?
I think if you're going to go back to JNCOs, now's the time.
Okay.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Generation Z, right?
That's what we're talking about?
Zoomers.
They're the e-boy haircut generation, right?
Yeah.
What the fuck do they say in anything? No. They're hot. They're doing like-boy haircut generation, right? Yeah. What the fuck do they say in anything?
No.
They're hot.
They're doing like...
Those dudes are hot.
They're doing like Air Monarchs in like four-inch inseams with e-boy haircuts.
They need to shut up.
They look like idiots.
I don't get it.
If you go to a restaurant and there's like cool teens there,
all the girls are wearing like the chunkiest big white sneakers,
and I just don't get it.
I will never understand what's going on with these kids.
Why are they telling us how to dress?
I don't know.
Who's out here dressing?
I wore white jeans in our baby pic.
Am I getting roasted for my white jeans not being baggy enough?
If they saw me right now, they would throw up everywhere.
They saw that pic of Randy, and they were like,
oh my God, why does he have so much ass?
This dude's wearing a Henley on a monday what what
decade is this guy in you know i'm saying dave i don't get it man i don't either fashion is
i'm that you know fashion has really not never been my thing as you can probably tell
and the older i get to do more out of touch i am i don't i don't know what the
fuck's going on anymore that's why i stick to the classics man i'm a classics guy polos and
slacks shit like that you know when do you ever wear that it's been a while you never wear polos
and what are you fucking pledging real estate professional over here what but like you know
like i wore colored shirts and shit like Like, you know, I dress pretty normally.
No, you don't.
Sweaters and colored shirts.
You've worn the same shacket
for the last three weeks.
Yeah, that's true.
I am kind of edgy.
Polos and slacks.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that stuff
will never go out of style.
You're not an insurance agent.
You're a podcaster.
I haven't seen you wear a...
Like, you wear a polo
in here once a month.
Even if the trend deviates
from that type of thing,
it always comes back.
Well, yeah, trends are cyclical.
But there are classics
too, though. But in order for you to endure the trends being
cyclical, you have to dress like shit for like 10 years.
You know the earliest I've ever seen
someone be in on a trend was Duda
with his Normie shit when he first went to
move to Austin. Normcore.
For me, being in austin i i was
like dude what are you doing and then like i swear a year later it was everywhere how do people do
i think it's just because he was from a cool town chicago yeah there's trends in chicago that just
haven't reached austin it did not reach austin until duda got there he was so early and that's
why we were just like what are you doing he was I still think it's a bit. I mean, everything is.
It's not, I mean.
A bit has become his just regular life.
Put some respect on Duda's name.
No, I have all the respect for Duda's fashion.
Hey, apologize.
Be the first to apologize.
I mean, he looks terrible 100% of the time,
but it's his thing.
He owns it, and I respect it.
He looks terrible, but I respect it.
He looks terrible 100% of the time.
100%.
I disagree.
Dude, when he would come down here.
You can't wear wool socks and Birkenstocks in July in Texas and look good.
That's just not a thing.
A cardigan wrapped around his waist and it's 88 degrees on like an August night.
You can't tuck a baggy t-shirt into like umbros.
It doesn't work.
As Bruno Mars says, don't believe me, just watch.
I just don't know what he's doing.
What is he doing?
He's not even a Zoomer.
Zoomer is a nickname for Generation Z.
Is that correct?
Yeah.
Yeah, but Duda could be a good mediator for you if you ever go to Chicago
and start getting roasted by cool teens.
Just have him come in and be like, no, no, come on.
I know he's old, but let's not criticize his drip.
Like I said, I respect what Duda's doing. doing i just don't see it you just said it looks terrible
100 it does yeah it does dude dude and to be honest dude i wouldn't even help you out in that
situation he'd start roasting you too he would just roast me yeah he there's no way dude i think
i look good and i it's a mutual uh thing distaste slash respect we have for each other's attire i
think game respect game yeah
there's no way he's ever thought i look good in an outfit ever a lot of people have been
digging on my pretty boy swag lately really just a lot of people okay
your pretty boy swag
are you thinking about doing a side part now that's...
Or a middle part now that side parts are out?
I look like Dwight Schrute with his middle part.
Fuck you.
You know this.
I'm going to start doing that.
Yeah, the middle part only applies to girls, right?
No.
Oh.
Guys are doing it?
I'm going to start doing it.
I mean like the Gen Z when they talk about like middle parts versus side parts on people.
I thought it was only...
What's your take on middle parts in general, though?
I don't remember.
Do I look hot?
Let me see.
Jeez.
I mean, I'm trying.
I got to go back.
It's one of those things where you have to do it for consecutive weeks
so that your hair starts just growing like that.
Do they know middle part is like a boomer thing?
Yeah, they clearly do.
That's why they're roasting us, dude.
No, they're the middle parters.
Generation Z.
I know.
So who's roasting them?
No, I'm just saying, do they know that it's a boomer thing?
Oh, like boomers fuck with middle parts?
Yeah, like they grew up in the 70s and shit.
Yeah, but a bunch of Gen Z, a bunch of TikTokers,
they don't need to be shooting it.
The boomers, that's punching down for them.
Point being that if the boomers thought it was cool and so do you,
is there something wrong with that picture?
I'm just throwing it out there.
I'm just trying to get the brain working.
Wow.
Friend of my friend is my enemy.
Because boomers have been the punchline of many a joke lately.
I don't know if you guys are on the social media.
Dude, yeah.
Freaking boomers.
Okay, boomer.
See?
Roasted.
I'm not a boomer.
No, but you got boomer vibes.
Oh, that's not fair.
How close are you to being a boomer?
Not at all. You're closer than Will and I. They're like two generations to being a boomer? Not at all.
You're closer than Will and I.
They're like two generations between me and boomer, I think.
You're significantly closer than Will and I.
Generation X is between millennials and boomers.
Okay.
You're close to a Generation X, though.
I know.
1980.
We've established this.
I'd rather go to the movie theater and play Revolution X.
Dance Dance Revolution?
It's the Aerosmith game.
I never played that.
Shoot CDs.
Shoot CDs.
I never played that.
I didn't even know that was until you guys brought it up on a Patreon episode one time.
Every time something cool happens, you hear him do his Steven Tyler voice.
Don't give up!
Yeah.
Woo!
That's how he sounds.
Where does Aerosmith rank?
Are they overrated, underrated, or are they appropriately rated?
I'm going to be this guy.
They've got some early stuff that's good,
and then pretty much everything from Toys in the Attic on is shit.
Don't even know what that is.
Yeah, no one does after David.
Like Love in an Elevator.
That's actually not a bad song.
Love in an elevator.
But then they had that 90s resurgence with his daughter and then Alicia Silverstone.
Remember that?
Uh-huh.
In the Crazy Video or Crying, whatever the song was.
Those were the hottest women for me as a seven-year-old.
They did that Armageddon song?
Yeah.
Armageddon.
That one?
No.
With The Edge?
That's not it.
They used to call you The edge back in the day.
They did, yeah.
We had a good time.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah, Aerosmith sucks.
Should we move on?
Is there anything to move on to?
Is it stamps time?
Stamps?
Let's face it.
Taking trips to the post office is probably not how you want to spend your time.
That's why I recommend mailing and shipping online at Stamps.com.
Stamps.com allows you to mail and ship anytime, anywhere, right from your computer.
Send letters, ship packages, and pay a lot less with discounted rates from USPS, UPS, and more.
Stamps.com has saved businesses thousands of hours and tons of money.
With Stamps.com, you get the services of the post office and UPS all in one place,
plus big discounts on mailing and shipping rates.
I bet you guys don't even know how to ship stuff at this point.
Dude, I'm well-versed.
We might be the last generation that knows what going to the post office feels like
because everyone's just hopping on that Stamps.com stuff.
Absolutely.
All these Gen Zers are like, post office?
No, thank you. I don't like going anywhere, and the post office is included in that, and that's why I like Stamps. Absolutely. All these Gen Zers are like, post office? No thank you. I don't like going anywhere, and the post office is included in that,
and that's why I like stamps.com. Well, it brings all the services of the U.S. Postal Service and UPS
right to your computer. It's a must-have for any business, and whether you're a small office sending out invoices
and online sellers shipping out orders, or even a giant warehouse selling thousands of packages
a day, stamps.com can handle it all with ease. Simply use your computer
to print official U.S. postage 24-7 for any letter, any package, any class of mail, anywhere you want to send.
And once your mail is ready, just schedule a pickup or drop it off.
It's that simple.
And with Stamps.com, you get discounts up to 40% off post office rates and up to 62% off UPS shipping rates.
62%!
That's insane.
That's killer.
That's over half off!
That's killer.
That rocks.
Well, you're good at math, too.
It's impressive.
It is over half, right?
Yeah.
And then 40% is right under half?
Uh-huh.
Plus, it's a fraction of the cost of the expensive postage meter.
Stamps.com is a no-brainer, saving you time and money.
It's no wonder why nearly 1 million small businesses already use Stamps.com.
But you don't even have to be a small business.
No.
You can be a small business or a big baller.
It doesn't matter.
Everybody's got a ship at some point.
Stop wasting time going to the post office and go to stamps.com instead.
There's no risk.
And with our promo code circling back, you get a special offer.
Are you guys ready for this offer?
It's a very good offer.
Very good offer.
You get a four-week trial plus free postage.
Four-week trial and free postage and a digital scale.
No long-term commitments or contracts.
Just go to stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage,
and type in circling back.
That's stamps.com.
Promo code circling back, stamps.com.
Never go to the post office again.
Seemingly too good to be true.
That's what they're saying, but it is true because it's on our podcast.
Sheesh.
Are you guys ready for a little special edition of something?
Ooh. Is it will's
breaking news it's will's breaking news let's go yeah brett's brett's doing business or business
maybe hard to say uh do you guys want to start off with potentially stone celebrities absolutely
little choose your adventure army hammer or the royal family let's go stone stone yeah yeah so are you guys aware that the golden globes were last night
yeah i didn't catch a minute i watched yes i didn't watch because i well by the time i got
home from the airport uh twitter had already said that it sucked and so i decided not to partake
they did the best they could it wasn't good though did they do the best they could i feel
like there's been other award shows that have happened since they've been better well here's
the thing the cm whatever the country music one is they got in a lot of shit
i think they they somehow like killed charlie pride with covid because they like brought him
there and then he got covid and died like a month later um that could be wrong anyway they had tina
fay and amy poehler hosting but they were in opposite locations different locations now call
me crazy i know life gets in the way sometimes but how can they not figure out a way to get those two in the same place in a safe manner?
I don't know.
They're like besties for the resties.
They're not the stoned ones, though.
You know who they think was stoned?
Sister from another mister who?
Jason Sudeikis.
Really?
He won the Golden Globe for Ted Lasso.
Have you guys hopped on the Ted Lasso train yet?
Was he lifted?
Where do you watch it?
I tried to find it one day and couldn't. Apple TV.
That's why I'm never going to watch it.
I don't have Apple TV.
I don't intend on getting it, so you can stop this conversation. You know, if you've bought anything from Apple
over the last year or two
years, you pretty much get it for free.
Oh, really? Not pretty much. You just get it
for free. How do I make it happen?
We'll talk after the show.
Maybe it's because your phone's not working.
But yeah, it said that he won a Golden Globe for it,
and people are thinking that he was stoned for it
because his eyes look a little cashed,
and he's wearing a tie-dyed sweatshirt.
He was rocking hoodie.
It was very chill.
Was it an out-of-office one?
It doesn't look like it's an out-of-office one.
Was it one of our crop top ones?
It's hard to say, but I'm not sure.
Okay.
Yeah.
What's our website?
Washmedia.shop.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
If you see the screenshot of him doing it, I have to say.
I watched it live.
I didn't get that vibe.
His eyes do look a little red.
But in the photos, if you do some stills, he does look.
It looks a little red.
Bill Murray was nominated and he was rocking a Hawaiian.
Some might say that's epic.
Wow.
What were the big winners last night?
Nomad.
What's the.
Nomad.
Nomad.
Nomadland.
Nomadland. I watchedland. Nomadland.
I watched the trailer for that after I saw that it won last night,
and I have to say, it looks pretty intense.
It's good.
The Crown did win for Best Drama.
The Schitt's Creek guy?
He won again?
He won an Emmy.
The Emmys did a great job.
I believe Catherine O'Hara Levy.
Emmys did a great job of having people everywhere,
and the Golden Globes should have done a better job because they're the most fun ones to watch.
That was the big disappointment.
The Golden Globes are fun.
They get drunk at the Golden Globes and actually have a good time.
And it's all the TV and movie.
I hardly knew any of the movie nominations last night.
When it came to TV, though, your boy was on it.
It was...
So my sister's in town, so we watched it with the baby.
Da baby or the baby? I wish it was um so my sister's in town so uh we watched it with uh the baby and da baby or the baby i wish it was a little baby i i i'd only seen about one percent of the shows that were
even nominated and i hate that because it's like i have no excuse i've been home for the last year
i watch a shit ton of tv so i i feel like i had a pretty good beat on the television shows movies
i just had nothing. Yeah.
I don't like that.
I need the age to come back. Borat won, too, Will.
Yeah, how did Borat win?
Ha.
My wife.
I don't know.
I didn't.
I had no desire to go watch the new Borat.
I'll see it eventually, but I'm not going to pay for it.
I didn't rush to see it, but, you know, apparently if it's winning awards, it struck all the
right chords.
Ah.
Do you guys want Army Hammer or Royal Family?
Let's go Hammer.
Hit him with the hammer.
Apparently he moved out of his L.A. home
in the dead of night.
Oh.
Per this headline,
which I think this headline might be making a joke toward him.
Like he's a vampire?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
It says,
Army Hammer shocked neighbors by moving out of his los angeles home in the dead
of night this week page six has told us we revealed this month hammer 34 is in his estranged wife
elizabeth chambers found a buyer for their five million dollar swanky home in hancock park
you've been there dylan david
get your mind out of the gutter, dude.
Are you trying to live in Armie Hammer's house at this point?
No.
They had to slash the price by $800,000 in order to get it.
No shit.
To get it sold.
So I wonder if there's no way he's the guy,
but there's a rumor that there is a big-time Austin or L.A. celeb,
A-lister that's moving to Austin and it's gonna be like a 38 million
dollar home deal which will be the biggest in Austin history and everybody's speculating all
the real estate professionals Dylan they're speculating who it might be it's probably not
Armie Hammer doesn't have it like that and he certainly doesn't now Armie Hammer has family
money oh it's a generational fucking wealth David that's a great point. His family invented the Bluetooth speaker.
Which you are obviously a huge fan of.
Right, full disclosure, yeah.
It's in my portfolio.
You saw me?
I brought mine to Laguna Beach.
Maybe that dog was trying to sniff out my Bluetooth speaker.
Oh, that's what it is.
How mad would you be if a German shepherd
just walks out with your BTS?
What do you do in that situation?
You just let it.
You're just like, hey, come on.
What does he start playing as he's exiting?
Venga Boys.
That's the most disrespectful thing.
That got over 10,000 streams last week, by the way.
I want this guy to make some money off of these streams.
I do too.
That'd be awesome.
Shout out to Barry Rigby.
Yeah.
10,000.
That's a lot.
That's a lot.
Shout out to Barry Rigby.
Yeah.
10,000. That's a lot.
If someone gives you Armie Hammer's house for the maximum price that you could afford,
are you living in that house?
I mean, it sounds like it's pretty dope, so maybe.
I'm going to light some sage and walk throughout the house to purify it.
I think that'd be an understandable thing to do.
He moved out, so it's not like he's still there sucking blood and shit.
No, but how clean is that basement?
I mean, it's not a murder house, you know?
That's worse.
Do you know that?
I don't know that no one was killed there, no.
Have you ever hung out in a home where there was blood sucked?
I don't believe so, no.
Are you guys blood brothers with anybody?
Yeah, but I don't talk about that publicly.
What do you mean by that?
Did you ever do that as a kid?
Oh, no.
I didn't either.
That's weird.
I was too scared.
I'm not trying to swap blood
with somebody.
Get out of here.
If you've got those antibodies,
I'll swap blood with you.
Shout out to antibodies.
Dylan's pro-body.
I am very much pro-body.
Big pro-body day for Dylan.
Love the bodies.
You guys want the royal family news?
Yeah.
This one's kind of somber.
I don't know why I included it.
Okay.
Our man Prince Philip,
he had to get moved to a second location hospital.
I'll say it.
I think he's done for.
As someone said, I don't know who it was, but once you go to the hospital at that age,
you're not coming home.
Can I ask the question?
He's 99.
He is not the one who's connected to Jeffrey Epstein's global pedophilia.
He's the one who looks like he's a dead person walking around.
Yeah, he's the one that looks like he has pink eye
all the time.
Okay.
Royal family taking L's.
If you Google, like,
alive dead guy,
it pulls up a picture.
Okay, well, he's 99.
He's not doing well.
It says he remains comfortable,
but if you're comfortable,
are you in a hospital
for two weeks?
Get a transfer, do a new one?
Comfortable for him
was like a 4 out of 10, though.
You know what I mean?
I'm not trying to be insensitive.
I don't think we know
what being comfortable even feels like compared to the royal family,
who just have all the comforts in the world right at their disposal.
Fair.
It's just not ideal.
Well, shouts to him.
I wish him the best.
Like, he was definitely my favorite character in The Crown.
So, I mean, I don't know if that means anything to him.
Probably not.
The Crown won a couple last night.
It did.
Shout out to his family.
Whoever played Princess Di, she won. Emma Corrin. don't know i don't know if she deserved it or
not i really enjoyed uh queen elizabeth's performance in this past season but i don't
know just saying well i've got some breaking news for you right what is it did you know that police
raided the fc barcelona and detained former president joseph maria bartomeu according to
reports this is in la Liga, of course.
Wow.
Oh, your favorite league, La Liga.
La Liga, that's my thing.
That's kind of my beat.
Do you want to save this story for too much dip?
No, I pretty much covered it.
Cool.
Cool.
Is this like a big story?
It's top of my Twitter thing.
I don't know.
Why would they do that?
I don't know, man.
After watching Narcos Mexico Season 2, like, I'm just into raids at this point.
Raids?
I remember those commercials, Dave.
Raids against the machine?
Dude, I knew it was going to happen.
I knew Eve 6 was going to go after Rage at some point.
Did they do it?
Kind of did, yeah.
Dude, they can't be doing that.
Look, he's going to go for something you love at some point.
I know.
That's the diciness.
You've got to prepare yourself.
I'm really gun-shy responding to Eve's six tweets at this point.
I'm scared, too.
You've got more balls than me because I don't want him to just back me out of the paint
like I did Dylan at the playground recently.
I'm expecting to click onto their profile at some point and just see that they've unfollowed me.
It has to be looming.
That'd be a badge of honor,
honestly.
After talking about
the pregnancy stuff,
he was probably just like,
God, that pussy,
having a kid.
Dude, kids are for narps.
Oh, fun pod.
Well, that's all we got.
It was a fun pod, man.
That's how you kick off
a week right there.
I think tomorrow's
Patreon's going to be awesome. The women are telling all tonight, which is big. Truly all of it, man. That's how you kick off a week right there. I think tomorrow's Patreon is going to be awesome.
The women are telling all tonight, which is big.
Truly all of it, yeah.
I will say this.
My favorite episodes to cover when it comes to The Bachelor are the first episode and then the tell-alls.
I'll give them a sneak pre for this one, too.
Maybe.
They might get a little sneak pre.
Okay.
Bet.
You always had a little sneak pre in your compression shorts.
It's time to finish. Wow. Ew compression shorts. It's time to finish.
Wow.
Ew, Dylan.
It's time to end the podcast.
God.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.