Citation Needed - Common Misconceptions
Episode Date: June 29, 2022A common misconception is a viewpoint or factoid that is often accepted as true in current times. They often arise from conventional wisdom (such as old wives' tales), stereotypes, a misundersta...nding of science, or popularisation of pseudoscience. Some common misconceptions are also considered to be urban legends, and they are often involved in moral panics. Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here. Be sure to check our website for more details.
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So yeah, Dr. Says is gonna be a long recovery.
Dude, I'm so sorry to hear that.
And then my car broke down right after.
And this all happened after you broke the mirror?
Yeah.
Hey guys, what's up?
How was mom felon broker back, man?
Oh, no way, we are having the worst luck today, fuck.
Surprise.
God damn it.
I knew it was him.
Like, deep down in my heart, I knew kind of had to know. I where are you?
I'm actually outside the simulator. Welcome to the misconception verse. Oh fuck sake. What is the misconception verse?
Thank you Tom. So you know how this week's episode is about common misconceptions?
Yeah, well yeah. So this is a simulated universe where all those things are true, right?
You can see the great wall of China from space, stepping on a crack,
really breaks your mother's back, and he has this drinking under control.
All that stuff.
I am an adorable drunk.
Thank you, compliment.
Wait, wait.
So now, all that stuff is true here?
Yeah, if you guys wanna go check out Area 51,
they have aliens and everything,
and worked really hard on it.
I will be right back.
Okay, well that was weird.
Up, there he is.
What's he doing?
He's jumping up and down between sidewalk tiles.
Yikes! Oh, that tracks. Let him have this one.
Fucking monkey killer! Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject with a single
article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet
and that's how it works now.
I'm Noah and I'm going to be marshaling us through this myriad of misconceptions.
But to do that, I'll need the help of a few people who have been holding their expertise
on misconceptions since they were sperm and egg.
First up, we've had two men who continue to labor under the illusion that Lasagna becomes
pizza when you put it in a bread bowl, Tom and Cisa.
Hey listen, Chicago pizza is like Chicagoans.
We might be a bit thicker than the traditional beauty standard, but we are not going to leave
you unsatisfied.
The supermodels needs a way too sharp to bang of pizza jokes.
Yeah, the fact that you have categories for the jokes about how bad your pizza is really
good.
It's just me out on the wrong track.
Oh, you're right.
No, you're right. Pasta on're right. Post on pizza is disgusting.
Thank you for saying.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Just like he's both.
He's super models.
Nice.
That's to be clear.
I'll fuck any pizza with pasta.
I don't understand.
Actually, game.
And also joining us tonight, of course, two men who are suffering from the misconception
that the human eye just averages out hair on the head and face.
And you need to check your fair faucet, S. Glocks of privilege.
No illusions.
How dare you, sir?
You're being mean.
Amidst.
That's good.
That was good.
And of course, nope.
And nope, my was being mean.
And of course, before we get to the essay, I want to take a second to thank our patrons
and remind you that thinking your dollar won't make a difference is yet another common misconception.
If you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the
show.
And with that out of the way, tell us Eli, what person-placed thing concept phenomenon
or event will we be talking about today?
We'll be talking about common misconceptions.
All right. Cecil,
you read the, uh, listicle. Are you ready to, uh, well, actually your way through an episode?
I learned it from watching you. All right. So tell us, why did you choose this topic, Cecil?
So this week, I want to take a look at a fascinating list on Wikipedia on common misconceptions.
The list is enormous and has a lot of different categories of study, and I'll probably, most
certainly, come back to it eventually.
But today, I'm going to be focusing on the scientific misconceptions.
I figure this will be a great opportunity for Noah to tell us, he already knew all this
stuff, for Eli to declare that Wikipedia is clearly lying, for time to to take an app and for Heath to call this entire list, the CIA
cover up, or he's just going to screen fun fact the entire episode, either one. Fun fact.
Interesting. No, it isn't. I knew you guys were going to do that.
Hey, pipe down. Some of us are trying to sleep. Okay, Jesus. All right, rude. So let's start with astronomy. The gray wall of
China isn't the only man-made structure you can see from space or the moon. In fact, astronauts
that visited the moon actually couldn't see a single man-made structure from that distance.
And astronauts in orbit can't see the gray wall without some kind of visual magnification.
You can see some man-made structures from space.
The greenhouse of El Maris, Spain can be seen and there's a, they're like a cluster of
greenhouses of about a hundred square miles.
You can also see the cooling pond at Chernobyl, which is again, six mile long man-made lake.
I mean, it glows really bright.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Things visible from what we would consider space or low earth orbit need to be at least
two kilometers in size.
So there aren't a lot of things humans have made that are big enough to be detected.
Well, also as your examples demonstrate, helps a ton of their super fucking reflective.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay, look, I know I just woke up and everything, but isn't like space pretty fucking relative
to you.
I mean, like from most of space, Earth isn't even visible.
No, I mentioned this in a previous episode, but I'll mention it here again. Space craft
are never in zero G and you don't experience weightlessness because you left the earth's
atmosphere. People in spacecraft can experience a free fall effect as the ship orbits the earth.
Orbit is essentially the craft falling toward earth and constantly missing because of the forward momentum.
Gravitational fields exist well above large planetary objects at 250 miles above the Earth,
which is about where the International Space Station travels.
The gravity is about 90% what it is on Earth.
Yeah.
Fun fact, you can also experience this feeling during every landing on a united flight.
So the 1989 passengers on United
flight 232 would disagree if they hadn't been passengers on the 1989 United. No, it's
fine. It's been a long fucking time. It's not possible.
Let's do so now.
Yeah. When we refer to the dark side of the moon, we don't mean that that side of the moon never
receives any light from the sun. The moon is tidally locked with the earth, and that means that from
the earth's surface, only one hemisphere of the moon is visible. The other side is what we refer
to as the dark side. It was dark unseen by us until humans flew up there and looked at the moon's
surface, gets the same amount of light, whether we can see it from Earth or not.
No.
Yeah.
And, uh, fun fact, when one of those astronauts wanted to watch the Wizard of Oz up
there, the rest of them were like, no, that's dumb.
It's not going to line up.
It doesn't make any sense.
Yes, Cecil.
You also cannot see the dark side of the moon if you hide under a blanket or squeeze your
eyes shut real hard.
Makes it go right away.
Here's one I have never heard of.
I guess some people think that the seasons of the earth are caused by part of the planet
being closer to the sun.
What causes seasons is not axial tilt closer to the sun, but instead axial tilt of the earth that
allows for more sunlight duration on the surface. The fact that the earth is closest to the
sun in January and is furthest from the sun in July, as far as the Northern Hemisphere
is concerned, it's the exact opposite correlation with temperature trends. The closeness to the
sun does affect temperatures on the planet, but the effect is minuscule compared to the length of the daylight.
For future generations, let's think through this a season used to be this thing where the weather changed like in a good, you know,
predictable.
Reentry into Earth's atmosphere creates a lot of heat on the object and some people mistakenly attribute this heat generation to friction, but it
turns out that's not correct. In fact, the heat is caused by a diabetic compression,
which is heat generated when gas compresses. So compression of the air in front of the
object re-entering is what causes the heat.
Right. So an important note, that is not why the ass of your pants feels warm after a fart. That's much more
oppressing situation.
Man, I don't know. See, it's like gree reentry is hot, but the science talk is kind of killing
the mood, you know, and the compression of gas.
Speak for yourself. People my whole life have claimed that you can balance an egg on its end, but you had
to do it on the correct day during the terminal in spring equinoxes.
Well, that's bullshit.
You can do it any day if you're patient enough.
There's no special gravitational qualities of a single day.
It's just that you didn't give up doing it because you were bored.
You thought it was possible, so you kept doing it until it stood on its end.
Okay, fun fact. This is real. I argued exactly what Cecil just said with a high school science
teacher until I got suspended.
Did he write Boonard on the slip?
Like, what's the story of NASA commissioning a million dollar pen to write in the weightlessness of
space is bullshit.
The story always mentions that the Americans commissioned a pen at great expense in the
Soviets used pencils.
Well, it turns out that it did cost a million dollars to design and develop the pen.
The Fisher pen company did develop the pen with their own funding.
NASA did also purchase
the pen from the company. They bought 400 pens at $6 a pen. And then the Soviet Union also
bought some for their Soyez set of space flights.
Yeah, with a regular pen in orbit, the ink, it keeps falling toward the paper, but
miss it.
Especially.
Oh, so, and yes, they knew all about fucking pencils.
Pencil led, can float into electronic instruments.
That can cause short circuits.
That can cause fucking fires.
Just go ahead and assume that you're never
correcting a goddamn rocket scientist
about goddamn rocket science.
You see that?
Contrary to popular repetition,
Tang Velcro and Teflon were not spin-off products
from space exploration.
Tang was used in space flights, but was available to the public in 1959.
Velcro was patented in 1955, inspired by seeds sticking to the inventor shoes.
Teflon also existed well before manned space flight.
It has been covering pan since 1954. Okay. And I actually,
I wrote a bunch of tough long jokes here, Cecil, but I just, I couldn't get any of them to stick.
Okay. Glad you said that. There are some products that have been introduced to the public
or have been improved because of space travel, memory foam, anti-icing technology, a little
late for one of the spacecrafts.
They found that too challenging.
Space, space blankets, the dustbuster, cochlear implants, nanofiber, water filters, GPS,
the list goes on.
But those three that are commonly cited are not among them.
All right.
Well, see, so just reminded my taste buds about tang, so I need to admit to
vomit uncontrollably.
He's running across for a little apropos of the thing we've been talking about this whole
time. Gentlemen, our guest today is controversial for sure, but we at the National Aeronautics
and Space Administration are dedicated to truth, science, and we are not too proud to put
our egos away and learn.
Now are we.
Thank you, Mr. Rector.
And thank you all for your, your humblitude.
First, you all may be aware that most aircraft contained an indestructible black box.
Well, what I proposed to you today is to make the whole plane out of the black box stuff.
Yeah, go ahead and take a second.
Sorry, are you saying we should make our planes square?
I don't really have time to get into the details.
You have the outline.
It's right there.
I'm going to let you run with it.
Okay, so item two, airplane mode, really airplane mode.
If my cell phone is on, it's going to crash the plane.
Come on.
Actually, airplane mode is from when the original cell phones would click on the headsets
of the pilots as they would have.
And finally, Boonard, of course, why would my carry on be too heavy?
I mean, but then I can put it underneath that very same plane.
Come on.
Done.
Check.
It's a different part of the plane.
There are different parts.
This is not how any of this works.
Sorry.
Yes. Mustache guy question
much as i appreciate your feedback and i ask where you draw these conclusions
what university
do you work for maybe
uh... i went to a little place called
the the school of hard knocks maybe heard of it
new york anyway if you'll excuse me i have one simple trick
to speak to Congress about
gonna fix the economy entirely, so I gotta head out.
Hey, did anybody else hate that guy?
Like a lot, right?
My heart is racing. How much I hate him. I'm shaking. Look at me shaking.
Bye, Luna Coin! Luna coin.
And we're back when we last left off.
We were wrong and Cesar was right.
Cesar, what else are you writers and the audience about?
This is going to be a good week on Twitter.
So onto some biological misconceptions, there is a myth that it's actually a pretty good
size.
Sorry, it's not under the butt.
You don't look under the butt.
There is a myth that old elephants, when they know they're going to die, head off to
some kind of old elephant dying grounds, and that becomes an elephant graveyard.
Well, there isn't any proof to back up this claim. There are some theories on how it started. One of them is that during times when it's
difficult to find food, older elephants that can't chew more fibrous vegetation just
group together where the food is easier to eat. Oh, there's other suggests that since the tuss are missing and some of the group die
off, that it might be just hunters looking for ivory and leaving the rest.
What fun fact old humans do actually gather together when they're ready to die at these
special places called anti lockdown protests.
It's actually pretty beautiful.
It is.
Poor legacy. Bulls don't see color the way we do. Bulls are dichromats. So red doesn't look
bright to them. So the idea that bulls are enraged by the color red is a myth. Bulls
that charge at a red cape of a Matador and anthropomorphic
bunny are just perceiving the movement of a cape as a threat. And the color has nothing
to do with it.
Yeah. They might also be mad about all the darts full of barbs that got shoved into their
bodies.
And I don't know man, the guy who just stabbed several of his friends to death with a sword
could be one of these.
Lemmings will not throw themselves off cliffs in a heaven's gate like group suicide.
The concept that Lemmings would kill themselves off if the population needed to be rebooted
was popularized by a Disney documentary called White Wilderness.
The legend itself goes back to the 1800s, but the film depicted and popularized
this myth. In fact, the movie was filmed in Alberta and they had to import all the lemmings
to be shot in the film. There was also only a few dozen lemmings shot in the film. They
had to use some good editing to make it look like there was like thousands of them.
There's also a mention of the crew placing the lemmings on quote,
turn tables to create frenzied migration effect and then hurting them off a cliff into the water.
And yeah, also Catherine Rye is a stupid title for a bad book.
Okay, but we've got to admit that a metaphor about self-destruction actually being about being murdered by asshole white
guys.
Pretty spot on for humanity, right?
It's true.
It's fair.
Faces of the moon have no effect on if wolves haul.
Wolves haul for a multitude of reasons.
None of them have anything to do with lunar cycles.
Wolves also don't have an alpha wolf packs operate like human families in a lot of ways.
The parents take care of the young wolves and then the young wolves go off accumulate crushing college loan
debt and come back to live in their parents.
Then no, but seriously, young wolves do not overthrow old wolves for supremacy of the
pack to become the alpha. That's not how it works. Okay. This is a new one for me. I learned
something today. My whole I like to imagine a young wolf just lock in eyes with the old leader wolf and taking a
shit while he's staring. So here's the thing he with wolves is bullshit, but it turns out that
scientifically, if you identify as an alpha male as a human, you are actually five times more likely
to die rolling your truck that has a monster energy logo on the side. That's true.
Sorry.
Probably same stuff for staring at people and shooting fights against.
Bats are not blind and some have excellent vision.
Small bats that are in the microbat family do use aqua location to help navigate, but
they can see most of the big bats, the megabats as well as fruit bats have excellent vision
and can even have excellent vision and can
even have excellent night vision.
And since we're on the subject of biblical birds, ostriches don't bury their heads in
the sand to sleep or to hide from danger.
This appears to be a misconception that stems from the work of Pliny the Elder quote, ostriches
imagine when they have thrust their head or neck into a bush, Kelli
Antey, that the whole of their body is concealed. And quote, also a duck's quack has an echo.
Why would it not? The weirdest thing about these kind of lists for me is always learning
shit like some people thought duck quacks.
Did it.
It's insane.
Fuck it. What?
Why would you know, I love it when obvious metaphors are so lost on clueless fuckwits, the
generations of people just take them as truth.
And then soon some idiot just thinks like water stops getting hotter.
If you look at it, like, hey, stop watching that pot of water.
We ain't never going to have dinner. The tail that a frog put into water won't jump out if the water is heated. And thus
will boil the frog to death is a myth. I have no idea why the Wikipedia article needs
to point this out, but it says, quote, that frogs that are dropped into boiling water die. My God.
So does everything.
But you're mentally disturbed children of divorce listening to this episode.
Sightation.
Fucking need it.
Man.
It goes on to say that frogs that enter cold water that slowly gets heated will leave
the water before they reach a damaging temperature.
Also, I just want to say
boiling a frog is a terrible preparation. You want to fry the legs quickly and then
toss it with like a per se-odd. That's not you, sir. It's a loathing.
Again, metaphor, guys, like, like, fiddles aren't actually like really good at burpees.
And like, clams are not known for their particular joe reality.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
People falsely think that sharks cannot develop cancer, and that is not true.
With Compedia points to a source on this, a book called Shark Stone Get Cancer.
There you go.
I see where it came from.
It was used as an advertisement for Shark Carlage Act Track to prevent cancer.
There it was.
Also, I just want to interject
here that just because you ate a thing that never had cancer doesn't make to a moon.
Yeah. Yeah. Right. Apple's don't get cancer. Doesn't even make sense homeopathically,
which already doesn't make sense. Cut to Eli surreptitiouslyiously put it away as naked mole rat cartilage. They do also get kids.
It's super, super rare.
This is a shark smoking cigarettes. I do what I want.
Also, people claim that sharks will attack humans because they resemble seals or sea lines
in the water, which is not true. When a shark attacks those creatures, they roll up in
like a huge chomp on them. But when they attack humans, they're actually just trying to test out what the hell is in
the water.
They like slowly give it a nibble and it's just that sharks are not designed to nibble.
I love the idea that sharks just haven't figured out the, you know, sup nod and that's
the problem.
A common misconception is that tomato juice can wash away the smell of skunks spray.
This is not the case.
And the wiki article recommends a mixture of quote, dilute hydrogen peroxide at 3% baking
soda and dish washing liquid.
End quote.
I would also recommend getting a new house to that.
Yes.
That said, room temperature tomato juice is a great way to get rid of a waiter's respect
for you.
That's true.
Real fast.
I will say having believed this one myself and having had myself and my two dogs skunked,
I can confirm that all washing with tomato juice accomplishes is turning what once was
a terrible stench into a terrible stench with red stains.
Yeah, that's all you get. Why would it just get rid of the one odor though?
Like, why would that be how it works? Yeah, I admit I should have thought that through, Heath.
But I washed two dogs and myself with tomato juice. I'm not going to lie about that.
Like, God created pairs of smells and antidotes that all just one to one. You like cross multiply the smells and just cut it right off. Well, since we're
sharing, here's one I thought was real, but immediately I don't know, Jack shit about
snakes. Snakes do not unhinge their jaw when they swallow food. There's an extra bone
in there that increases mouth gabe, Caliante.
But there's also has a ligament that connects them to the stand, but then they just stay
hinged.
Okay.
How would they re-hinge it afterwards?
I don't know.
People think they think snakes would finish eating and then just like punch themselves
in the face.
So like snap it.
They run into a locker like Mill Gibson and lethal weapon.
This slam in their face to the inside of a building three.
Oh, I'm shaking, I gotta get real life.
Earthworms do not turn into two separate earthworms when they're cut in half.
Most species of earthworm just can't survive that.
One is they can.
Don't become two separate earthworms.
One side has a mouth and the other doesn't.
So when they're cutting a half the side with the mouth lives and the other side dies,
although some flower worms can become two worms if they're bisected down the middle.
The wiki article says, it's fucking weird that we kept having different worms at different
angles until we found one of the ones.
Okay. No, there's divorced kids supposed to do it.
They go, no, no.
Admittedly.
Housewives don't die in 24 hours.
Housewives live for three to four weeks.
This part of the article has this amazing line though.
Quote, the misconception may arise from the confusion with Mayflies, which in some species
have an adult lifespan of a little is five minutes.
And quote, so jealous.
Also, European bees are not essential to food production according to this article.
I'm sure many of us have heard about the doom and gloom surrounding the death of bees,
and that might be a really bad thing, but it isn't because of their role as food pollinators.
Quote, many important crops need no insect pollination
at all. The 10 most important crops, accounting for 60% of all human food energy all fall into
this category.
I hate who is pushing this line, then, OB. Is there a B with a press agent?
Daddy long like spider is not the most venomous spider in the whole world.
And if the spider wants to, it can actually break human skin.
It causes a few seconds of a burning sensation, so it's not instant death.
The legend may come from the fact that these spiders hunt other spiders that are venomous
to humans, so people think they just figured that it must pack a hell of a punch.
You also don't eat spiders when you sleep. Wikipedia says, quote, a sleeping
person makes noises that warn spiders of danger.
And I guess since it's an entire episode about misconceptions, the pedid enemy can't help
up point out that daddy long legs aren't actually spiders either. It's also a common misconception
among pedants that anyone gives a shit enough
to warrant that.
That's not good.
That part.
No.
I'm really happy we don't eat a bunch of spiders in our life. Whatever the number is, I
learned that today too. That's.
I am doing a prank war on you. You are going to eat a bunch of spiders.
They have the ones that fly now. He let he let it just they just dive
off.
I don't know what it is.
They could go right into your mouth as you breathe in. What's that? They're coming.
I hear them. Tick-a-chop. Tick-a-chop. You're not trying to make the noise of parachute.
Anything.
What that was the noise of parachuting? That was the spider noise. Yeah. Tick-a-chop.
Tick-a-chop. No, that is what spiders, that's the
nice to spider's make. Chikachah. Thank you.
Oh,
the female praying mantises rarely kill their mate during reproduction. This is especially
untrue when mantises are in a natural environment. They cite a study from the University of Central Arkansas where they watched 45 pairs
of mantis's bump uglies and they said, quote, one out of 45 times the female ate the male
before mating and the male ate the female with the same frequency.
One study of a particular species of mantis found that, quote, 83% of males escape cannibalism
after an encounter with a female,
but since multiple matings occur, the probability of a male being eaten increases cumulatively.
End quote.
Okay.
I want to see the one out of 2025 when they finish fucking and both start eating the other
one at the same time.
Oh my God, you're one of these two.
Who is?
This is so us, right?
Right.
Same time.
Here's a few plant and geology misconceptions.
Point set us aren't highly poisonous to cats or people.
They can make you sick and give you an upset stomach causing diarrhea or vomiting, but so
we'll excessive consumption of mango nectar.
Citation needed.
I don't think it is.
Yeah, how's your stomach health?
Bad.
There's the citation.
There we go.
They rarely.
There we go.
So they rarely produce serial, serious medical problems in either of the two species.
So while they, I wouldn't go out of my way to chomp on one, I wouldn't treat it like its leaves are basically coated in Iocaine powder.
Okay. You heard it here, guys. Cecil just said that point said is make a delicious tea.
That's what he just said. The claim that the Amazon rainforest contributes to 20% of
the world's oxygen into the atmosphere is not true. The oxygen present in our atmosphere has been accumulated
there for over billions of years. 20% figure comes from a misrepresentation of a study from
2010 that showed that 34% of photosynthesis occurred in tropical rainforests, and because
of its size, the Amazon rainforest would be over half the rainforests of the world. So
that's where the figure comes from. But because of the life that lives in that forest, the net output of that rainforest and oxygen is essentially zero.
You heard it right here, guys. Cecil just said that rainforests are our ways to space.
There's no real purpose in having them. Put up some condos. You could be the president of Brazil.
could be the president of Brazil. See, so he's wasn't killed that many times.
Nobody's needed.
So I need glass does not slowly change shape because of gravity.
The assertion that glass is highly viscous solid is false at room temperature glasses are
solid.
It takes hundreds of degrees above room temperature for it to flow.
The misconception stems from old glass being thicker at the bottom of the pain, but that
was caused by an inconsistency in the manufacturing process, not glass flowing over time.
Okay, thank you.
Fun fact, I argued exactly what these are just said with a high school science feature
until I got suspended.
It was, she tried to say it was a super cool liquid or something that I was like, no, it
has a melting point. It has a melting point.
It's a suck.
I got in trouble for that.
Heath, if it makes you feel any better, I think at that point, the teacher probably just
hated you for being egg balance kid.
It didn't really matter what you were talking about.
It's two different teachers, but I got this for so much cooler shit than you did.
I know.
I did drugs and got into fights. Where did you go?
Like, folksy wisdom high school. Not at all. I was just the nerd at a public school.
Diamonds are formed at 140 kilometers below the surface of the earth. Call is formed right below
the earth's surface and unlikely to reach below 3.2 kilometers.
So the idea that most diamonds are formed from coal is not true.
In fact, most diamonds date to a time before plants existed on Earth.
So therefore, they date to a time before there is any coal.
And fossil fuel is not really formed from dinosaur fossils.
Petroleum is formed when algae and zeal plankton die and are buried under the ocean floor.
Coal is formed from plants that are buried.
Coal can contain dinosaur fossils, but coal is almost all plant matter.
And most coal comes from the coal forest, which date back to 50 million years before dinosaurs
existed.
All right.
So if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be?
Even after all this vigorous fact checking, I'm still probably not going to fuck a praying
mantis.
It's good to always qualify statements like that with a probably so are you ready for the
quiz?
Well, actually, right, Cecil, metaphors are just convenient rhetorical tools that are offered because they clarify
or explain complex concepts and sometimes just because they offer linguistic beauty.
Sure.
It might be true, but they are not necessarily factual.
Thank you.
Why is this so difficult to understand?
Hey, most people in America read at or below the fifth grade level.
B, most people in America don't read.
C, it is not difficult to understand D, but things will get worse anyway.
Jesus Christ.
Secret answer, E, I'm going to kill myself after this recording.
Yes, that is an excellent plan.
And I'm going to we're doing it that together. Okay, most people don't read. Most people can't read below the fifth grade level. You're right. A and B cannot both be true. Well done. Thank you. Got them. All
right. He's a good fuck you. All right, Cecil, which of the following myths about our podcast is actually true?
Hey, Noah's name is a pseudonym and a clever pun.
No illusions.
Okay.
B, Keith tried the same thing and failed just spectacularly.
Keith and he then write.
Okay, I'm not sure what he was going for. I thought we said we weren't going
to do this on air. See, Tom loves his job. Not all of them. You would die. Oh, yeah. Can't even get it out of the seat. Oh, don't. Really.
You've not had it that easy, so I can't be the guest.
It gets it.
It's just hard for me not to cry.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Dean, you and I are in fact best friends.
It's A.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who is it?
Excellent.
Not me.
I did not fail spectacularly.
Thank you.
I have one more question.
Which of the following is my favorite unpopular misconception?
Hey, Donald Trump thought the moon was part of Mars.
No, no.
No, no.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no. Trump thought he was going to build a border wall
in the state of Colorado. No, he did. No, he did. No. See, GOP congressman Todd Akin thought
the uterus could detect lack of consent and boycott a pregnancy accordingly. I know that we're for don't need to be right.
I know that one's true.
D. Marjorie Taylor Green thought Gestapo was Gaspacho, but most recently she also thought
Petri Dish was peach trees.
You say that's most recently, but we record this in advance.
So who the fuck?
Yeah.
That's not much. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So who the fuck? Yes, or he Ben Shapiro thinks what wet vagina is disease?
All right, the last one convinced me all the above secret answer off.
No, it was just e Ben Shapiro.
No, it actually is all them whatever.
I'm scared of it.
Yeah, no, but you know what?
He's you win anyway because anytime you get a mention that Ben Shapiro thinks
a wet vagina is a disease, you make us all winners.
So you've got to pick next week's essayist.
Excellent. That continues to be true about him, for sure.
Next week, let's have Noah.
Alright, well for Cecil Eli Heath and Tom, I'm Noah, thinking and fraying it out with us today.
We're gonna be back next week, and by then I'll be an expert on something else.
Between now and then you can listen to the fucking archives.
God damn it, and you can like it.
And if you'd like to help keep this show going,
you can make a per-observate donation at patreon.com slash
citation pod or leave us a five star review
everywhere you can.
And if you'd like to get in touch with us,
check out past episodes, connect with us on social media
or check the show notes, be sure to check out citation pod.com.
And that, my friends, is how just 10% of the population voting third party will save
democracy in America.
So any questions?
Yes, question?
Yeah, the NASA guys gave us a heads up that you were coming and we're just going to beat
you to death with shovels.
Oh, that's not.
That's not a question.
Yeah, it's more of a statement, I think.
and we're just gonna beat a death with shovels.
Oh, that's not, that's not a question.
Yeah, it's more of a statement, I think.