Citation Needed - Francis Marion

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

Brigadier General Francis Marion (c. 1732 – February 27, 1795), also known as the "Swamp Fox", was an American military officer, planter, and politician who served during the French and Indian War and the Revolutionary War. During the American Revolution, Marion supported the Patriot cause and enlisted in the Continental Army, fighting against British forces in the Southern theater of the American Revolutionary War from 1780 to 1781. Though he never commanded a field army or served as a commander in a major engagement, Marion's use of irregular warfare against the British has led him to be considered one of the fathers of guerrilla and maneuver warfare, and his tactics form a part of the modern-day military doctrine of the U.S. Army's 75th Ranger Regiment.[1][2]

Okay guys wake up we're here. Jesus Eli did you drug the water cooler again? Maybe. Where are we? Wait are we in Italy? Why are we at a river? It's for today's essay on Marion Francis. It's a Francis Marion.

Whatever it's two first names who cares what order it's in. But what does Italy have to do with it? Uh, we're crossing the Rubicon, just like in the Revolutionary War. You like Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon in 49 BC? Well, they crossed A river in the Revolutionary War, Cecil. They crossed the Delaware, but Francis Marion wasn't even in that part of the country. He was fucking fighting in the swamps. Why they call him the swamp fox.

Well, I knew that's the only fact I knew about the War of Dependent. He was fucking fighting in the swamps. Why they call him the swamp fox. Well, I knew that's the only fact I knew about the war of dependence. So that's what I do. Well, that's what I do. Independence, Eli. I would argue you don't even know that. Okay, we're at the wrong river.

Well, not a total loss. I mean, we are in Italy. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Hey, hey, guys, since we're here, do you want to become fascists? Or get gelato? Let's get gelato, that sounds... Yeah, the gelato.

I'll do the fascism. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed. Podcasts with Jesus' subject, read a single article about a Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, that's how it works now. I'm Cecil Albee knocking down these statues of American Revolutionary Monsters, but I can't do that in Florida or alone. So I'm joined by two guys that are way too invested to tear down the statue of Samuel Adams, Tom and Heath. Yeah, listen, Cecil, unless that statue is busy bottling and hegging, I don't care if I fuck that thing in a pot.

And it's about heritage not hate, Cecil. It's fine. And two guys who thought Hancock was a monument to tug jobs, Noah and Eli. Oh, everything is a monument to tug jobs with a little imagination, Cecil. That's true. My 4U page is very specific about the part of

me. It's for it's on. It's weird. Non patrons. I quit my job for this. Well, not really. I was, I was let go, but still. Okay. You'd like to learn to become a patron. Be sure to stick around till the end of the show. With that all the way, tell us Eli, what person place thing, concept, phenomenon or event are we going to be talking about today? We'll be talking about Francis Marion, AKA the swamp fox. And Noah, you pulled names out of a hat for the most obscure revolutionary war hero.

And through back George Rogers Clark, because you said it was a practice, are you ready to tell us about swaps and foxes? Sure. Why not? All right. So who was Francis Marion? because you said it was a practice, are you ready to tell us about swaps and foxes? Sure why not. All right, so who was Francis Miriam? He was a Brigadier General Astrosk in the American Revolution who was considered one of the fathers of guerrilla warfare. Okay, why did you pick him for your essay this week?

Well, it's because when I was a kid, he was sort of like, you know, just outside of the pantheon of founding fathers, like whatever the tear right below Thomas Jefferson is. Like his day would have been perfectly at home on a list with Benjamin Franklin, Paul Revere and Nathaniel Green. And to talk to him, we know because I am also very smart. Okay. Eli, you cannot crochet about obscure references like Benjamin. Right. cannot crochet about obscure references like Benjamin Ray. Did I hold that so?

It was a hard one in there. But here's the thing though, I even made it to high school. Frances Marion seemed to just kind of drop off the historical radar a bit. So I was like, oh, you know, perhaps I can help to elevate the memory of this fading hero of American lore. So I started reading up on him and then I was like oh we don't talk about him now because he's awful and terrible and easier to not talk about than like andrew jackson would be right but uh he would know this guy was a slave owning native american genociding civilian murdering cousin fucking war criminal and the fact that up until my

living memory america heralded him as one of its great heroes. Also seems like the kind of memory worth elevating. So I decided to do that instead. Well, great. Now you're going to have to write a whole new opening to your eulogy for Tom. No, I hope you're having this. You keep one for Julianne. Fuck this cousin. And Eli, I've told you several times my eulogy will be an MLM marketing pitch.

You have six corpses under you. And by the way, in case anybody's inclined to reject a premise that he was a revered hero of the revolution, if you're thinking, well, I've never heard of the guy. I want to point out that as of today, there are cities and counties named after this dude in one out of every two US states He's got a national forest a university a roller coaster an annual festival in Iowa in 1955 Disney produced an eight episode mini series about him starting none other than Leslie Neillson Marion and also Marion was the inspiration for the character that Mel Gibson played that God awful travesty, the patriot, which means that we've now done the loose inspiration

for wildly inaccurate Mel Gibson historical dramas twice in the last five weeks. Well, I'm doing Mad Max next week. I mean, Florida. I'm doing Florida next week. Oh, sure. I know. I don't do it. So, Francis Marion was born circa 1732.

We don't know for sure. In Berkeley County, South Carolina, just a little north up from Charleston, his father, Gabriel Marion, was a French Huguenot up until Louis the 14th issued the Edict of Fontainebleau or the Edict of Huguenot, which outlawed the practice of that branch of Protestantism. At this point, he fled to the 13 colonies to take up the role of ex-French Huguenot and lest we sympathize with him as a victim of religious persecution, a pot arrival in South Carolina. He almost immediately bought humans and started exploiting their labor for profit.

Okay. I'm a little confused though. Are we supposed to care if someone is persecuted for their religious beliefs? It's 1732. Like we had invented Lyon. Yeah. The Holocaust was overblown. Thank you Tom. Somebody needed It's about time. It's brave very very thing that happened in Ireland right just to clarify. Yeah

So Francis was the youngest son in his family and in the words of an extremely sensitive historian of his time was quote a small and puny boy with deformed legs." End quote. He says, but his small puniness wasn't enough to keep him for yearning for a life of adventure. So around the age of 15, he set out to see, finally, these deformed sea legs are coming in hand. Yeah.

See shaped legs anyway. So he got hired on a merchant ship bound for the West Indies, but on his very first voyage, it sank. Now obviously France has survived or this would be a really short essay. And so did the other six crew members, but they spent a full week bobbin around the Caribbean in a life wrap before drifting ashore. So from that point on, Marion would stick to land-based adventures. Now, you fuckers, a laugh and at me for skipping leg day now, are you?

Huh? All right. Relax. You look like a cord. It's adorable, but relax. Now I'm back on his side. Yeah, right, Adelaide. Seriously.

Don't worry, I'll take care of it. He like, so his military career began a little late. He was, he was 25 years old when he and his brother were first recruited into the South Carolina militia during the French and Indian War. And then he also saw action in the Anglo-Chiriki War that sort of erupted out of the French and Indian War. Now both of those wars were essentially land grabs on flimsy pretense by British settlers. The latter far more so than the former and they were replete with atrocities committed against Native Americans.

This is a comedy podcast. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, but all I'll say regarding Francis Marion's culpability here is that at best, like his apologists, the best that they can say is that he didn't commit any atrocities of his own accord that they know of, right? So, so he was ordered to commit atrocities by Major General James Grant and he did that much as a matter of historical record, but it can't be proven that he committed fucking extra curricular atrocities. Following orders always a good example.

Exactly. Well, and that's the thing is that a lot of credible historians don't even seem to think he rises to that bar. Yeah, I mean, look, if you're gonna do atrocities, you're kind of in for a penny. All right. You know, the Suncala cost. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, I'm not sure it's a very good moral defense when a atrocity time comes comes around instead of no, you're like, well, what did I think of that?

Yeah, right. Right. Exactly. So the Anglo-Chairic war that ends in 1761. Francis goes back to South Carolina to oversee his family plantation and he's good at profiting off the degradation of several generations of human beings, whatever the fuck that means. So he earns enough to buy his own plantation.

He spends a decade and a half slave owning, I guess, as a job. But in 1775, the sense of revolution was in the air and Mary inside it with the Patriot cause, which to be clear is the insurrectionists, right? So the anti-patriotic ones. Okay, thank you, Noah. I am also a loyalist about that whole revolution. Oh, do we want to be better off? I'm just saying we'd so much better off. Yeah.

Anyway, so he was commissioned as an officer in the Continental Army, second South Carolina Regiment at the rank of captain. Now, Francis did see a bit of action during the Battle of Fort Sullivan in June of 1776, but mostly at first, he just babysat the fort and terrorized his subordinates. He had a reputation as an overly cruel disciplinarian and considering that he described his regiment as a disorderly drunken bunch and assistant on showing up for roll call barefoot, there's every reason to believe he found ample opportunity to earn that reputation. It's also a little surprise that even with all the discipline, his troops shit the bed

on their first major engagement, which would have been the siege of Savannah, which of course the rubble's lost. Yeah, in fairness, though, boots do take too long. If you're going to be a minute man, you need combat products. Slip them on, die humiliated. I'm surprised that I haven't had like tactical crocs show up in my Facebook feed us an ad yet. Well, he set it out loud.

So there you go. Yeah, right. Now it's, now it's coming. We've got a bump stock on the side or something. Now in March of 1780, his role in the war would change dramatically and for the stupidest possible reason. It all starts. He said this dinner party at the home of a fellow officer in Charleston. And there was a custom back then, at least among the rebels, that at some point in your dinner party, you went around the room toasting the American cause.

So like every person is given the floor for a theoretical unlimited amount of time to talk about how awesome America was. Right, so like, imagine a bad Q&A at a conference except there's no point to get to. I have more of a chance than a question you say. You say, this is all night forever. You use your whole life. I have more of a chance than a question you say. This is all night.

You use your whole life. Well, apparently Francis Marion found that about as tedious as the five of us would find it. So he tried to sneak out, but as was also part of the custom, the host had locked the doors of the home from like the outside. For this portion of the evening so that no one could leave. So desperate to make his escape. Mary had leapt from a second story window and in so doing broke his ankle. This was me at the Q&A at Edinburgh, though. I mean, Brian, this was me.

So we don't know if he died yet. It might not be as bad as he did. No, it's not. It's not a fine. Well, it actually, it turns out that that angle break was quite fortuitous for the American cause because thanks to that accident, Francis Marion was convalescing out in the countryside when the British overran Fort Sullivan and took Charleston in May of 1780. Pretty much every other officer in the state was either captured by the British or in full retreat. So still hobbled by his broken ankle. Marion took charge of whatever soldiers he could scrounge together

and took it upon himself to lead the resistance in South Carolina. And carry me in my battle, Pelinquin troops. Yeah, honestly. Honestly. Now, Francis Marion is, as I said up front, considered to be one of the fathers of guerrilla warfare, but that's only because white people always call the first white guy to do something the father of guerrilla warfare, but that's only because white people always call the first white guy to do something, the father of it.

Right. So the truth is that all the supposed innovations often attributed to Mary and are just him aping the tactics that the Cherokee used against him in the Anglo-Cherokee war. He was the fucking Elvis Presley of military innovation. Except this trip, Stinion Wearshoes, let alone blue-sweight ones and then come on.

Yeah, right. Yeah, crocs. And even if he did invent it, not to put, to find a point on it, but guerrilla warfare at this time was just not agreeing to stand in lines facing each other and take turns. I know. Like he did. Yeah. Fuck the Cherokee.

Thank you, you like this, man. It's interesting. Interesting take. So, so Marion's famed resistance starts in August of 1780 when he leads a small force of between 20 and 70 men and a rate against a British encampment that was holding several hundred American prisoners. He and his men hid in dense foliage. They let the British contingent march by him and they snuck up from the rear attacked while they were in disarray, freed about 150 prisoners and got the fuck out of there. Now, like this is some fucking duck, kind of shit to us now, but the British were really

unprepared for it at the time. They had been so spoiled by wars against radically outgunned victims of their colonization and European enemies with comical notions of valor that they didn't really anticipate the military equivalent to fucking a he's showing up at a friendly game of charades and asking where in the rules that says he can't use sign language, right? So I think out attacking unprepared soldiers and running away before they could organize a defense. That wasn't seen as revolutionary at the time.

It was seen as cowardly. Yeah, it also ruined charades at game night the other night just to give them a right better rules. Whatever rules you on right now. But regardless of how the British ranked his actions in terms of the rules of war, they were effective. His forces were perpetually outnumbered, but they managed to be a continuous thord in the side of British occupiers.

And I know I'm making this sound heroic, so I want to emphasize that by thorn, I mean war criminal. All right. Well, well, we give the Brits a few minutes to tell mom that we're cheating. We're going to take a quick break for some apropos. There's nothing. General in-right, we meet at last. Oh, hey, what's going on? As you know, this battle is to be staged this morning at two o'clock.

And yet, I see you and your men have yet to make formation. Oh, yeah, don't worry about it. We're definitely going to stand right there when you're aiming at the time, when that's supposed to happen. 100% totally we're doing that. I see. Well then, shall we establish the rules of Pale? Yeah, totally. Go for it. What do you want to do? Medics on the Afton? Yeah, totally. No horses, pikemen or shandagas. Yeppers agree. And of course, the final ball is cast before sunset.

Before sunset, obviously. Yeah. You'll surprise me, sir. I expected a dishonorable foe. I'm right back at you, man. Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. What did I miss? Oh, we're gonna shoot these students in the back when it gets dark. So easy. Sorry, what? I said, no shindaggers. Yes. Quiet. No shindag just keep going.

So you can just go ahead. No, yeah. We'll do. So at this point, Marion's working under the direct command of General Horatio Gates, but direct overstates the lines of communication here, right? So Marion and his men were pretty much always behind enemy lines.

There wasn't a hell of a lot of back and forth in the relationship between him and his superiors. Marion had the general order of disrupting British supply lines But there wasn't a hell of a lot of back and forth in the relationship between him and his superiors. Marion had the general order of disrupting British supply lines along the Santee River and his tactics speak to a profound lack of accountability. Okay. It says here last week that you quote, aint a bunch of their jerky, you have to know that's not what we meant, man.

Come on. That's disrupting. I better orders. Yeah, they had to take a hard tack with it. Oh, that's hard. And of course, with every successful raid, ambush, etc. Amerion climbed a little higher on Britain's most wanted list. So eventually, they sent out one of their most notorious cavalry officers to hunt this guy down.

This is Lieutenant Colonel Bonostre Tor Tarleton of the first Dragoon guards. Come on. Yeah, you can just imagine how impressive this guy's dress hat is as I say his name, right? Anyway, he's ordered to do the Tarleton area and his men. He's supposed to like sneak through the woods and catch somebody. So like, Marion got to watch like a giant Kentucky Derby hat bright red. Sneaking. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, yes, the famed battle of the mint julep. It's tragic. Mint is zero. There's quite a bit of cat and mouse that happens at this point, enough to fill several episodes of a Disney miniseries, at least.

But all of it culminates one evening in November of 1780 when Tarleton and his drag goons come face-to-face with Marion and his Fucking barefoot drunks acting on intelligence from an escaped British POW Tarleton tracks them to a plantation on the sauntie river and they legitimately get close enough to see Marion's men hauling ass the other way Tarleton's forces outnumbered him at least two to one so So Maryin decides that he's going to retreat into the swamp. Tarleton gives chase and for some 30 fucking miles, they chase this motherfucker across hill and Dale and and swamp mostly mostly swamp. Now this chase is of course where Francis earned his nickname. When he decided to break off the chase, Tarleton is supposed to have turned to his junior officers and said, quote, come on boys, let us go back and we will soon find the gamecock. But as for this old damn fox, the devil himself could not catch him. End quote.

And from that point forward, Maryann would be known to history as the swamp box. And it's tempting as it is not to give the gamecock reference any context and just leave it there to torture Eli's mind. That was the nickname of another dude named Thomas Sumter that they were also ordered to catch. Oh, well, now I have to rewrite a bunch of the sketches I wrote for the second half of the episode. No, thanks. I don't think that you can over estate the extent to which a person is a slave owning genocide committing war criminal, but I do need to emphasize here, regardless,

that despite his reputation as a disciplinarian Marion was beloved by his men at least at this point, right? Part of that has to be a sphere reputation part of it is that he just had a lot of success But it was clearly a very inspirational figure by the standards of the day regardless and as evidence of that I should point out that the people under his command weren't serving for pay Unlike the continental army. They provided their own horses, their own weapons, their own ammunition, and as often as not, their own food. Okay.

He had them fighting in a war for exposure. That's actually impressive. Yes. Yes. It's a part of it. So like burning man, but with more dying. Well, this year equal amounts of dying, but usually more dying, usually that's more right.

Yeah. And swampiness. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. So I sign up as a soldier under you And then I get three of my friends to sign up under me Oh, they use your crew three of there. Now when do we sell the essential oils again? Yeah, right. This isn't what they talked about at Thomas funeral. Um, now at the beginning of this whole thing, I introduced Maryann as a brigadier general with an asterisk. That rank was kind of retroactively bestowed after he got such a good reputation and became like a propaganda asset to the country. He never fucking, I don't know, general

depregade or I don't know what that would mean. Um, he, but he actually he never commanded a large force in any battle whatsoever. But according to a state erected sign of this gravesite in South Carolina, he and his men were engaged in 12 major battles and skirmishes over a two year period. 12 work days and two years doesn't sound like a revolutionary. I mean, sounds like a union army, huh? I should put it to the very end per latest fame. Union Army, huh? Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the

Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the

Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long live the Long assembly and that let this been so disheartened that there was apparently a conspiracy to like turn him over to the British as a retaliation Before that could come to fruition the British Parliament suspended offensive operations in America and withdrew from Charleston Treaty of Paris would bring the war to a close a couple of months later now after that his life gets pretty fucking boring pretty fucking quick Biographer Hugh Rankin describes his life as quote something something like a sandwich, a high-lease white center between two slabs of rather dry bread. End quote.

Which despite raising questions about Rankin's sad and limited exposure to the universe of sandwiches, sums it up pretty nicely. Hey Hugh, maybe don't write a biography about someone you feel that way about, man. Like, right, yes, right. Like you're probably wondering why I named this chapter. Yada yada yada.

Um, and you just like take up a hobby, try some board games, man. They're pretty good now. Say, so after the war, he goes back to his plantation. He own slaves, Maury serves an undistinguished career as a politician. And then at the age of 54, he marries his 49 year old first cousin, with whom he'd already had a couple of kids, I think.

Jeez. Suffice to say their proximity on the family tree doesn't make it into the Disney mini series. Between this and the Giuliani episode, I'm glad we could peel the lid back on historical cousin fucking. Yeah, right. Maybe we do Charles Darwin next week, you know.

Nice Albert Einstein or Ed Ground Poe, I'd really Lewis FDR, right? HG Wells, Thomas Jefferson, be good one, Jesse James, gone Sebastian Bob. Okay, too long. He, he, you know too many. This is getting the lady, don't protest in America.

Too much myth, a lot of cousins fucking in your tree. Yep, yep. So at this point, there's every reason for us to just forget about this guy altogether. But then ML, person weems gets a hold of them. So person weems is America's first great hagiographer. He was one of the driving forces in the early effort to turn America's founders into fucking superhero philosopher warrior poets or whatever. He's the guy who invented the story about George Washington

cutting down the cherry tree and then getting liar, liar disease, right? He was also the co-author of the first biography of the swamp box. Now to the extent that he based the biography on history at all, it was solely from the recollections of an auspacer that served under Mary and named Peter Hori. And in a letter to Hori, weems great

has claimed a historical accuracy was to say that he quote, that served under Mary and named Peter Hori. And in a letter to Hori, weems greatest claim to historical accuracy was to say that he quote, endeavor to throw some ideas in facts about general Mary and into the garb and dress of a military romance. And quote, yeah. And then Prager, you made an animated video for Oklahoma third graders at bottom. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The actual historical legacy of Marion is obviously far short of Weems patriotic bullshit, but how far short is still a hotly debated matter among historians, or at least among American historians.

British historians are pretty much united in their belief that he was shit, and nobody else's historians give a fuck about the guy. British author Neil Norman called him quote, a thoroughly unpleasant dude who is basically a terrorist. And he's supposed to. Right, well, and British historian Christopher Hibber points out that he was quote,

very active in the persecution of the Cherokee Indians and not at all the sort of chap who should be celebrated and quote, but the most egregious quote that they mentioned in the Wikipedia article comes from the Guardian who said quote, Marion was slaughtering Indians for fun and regularly raping his female slaves. And, quote, okay, hey, historians, I'm gonna need y'all not to be sore losers, okay?

That's what this sounds like to me. Well, okay, so apologists for Marion, and they're out, there's not just Eli, there's actually quite a few of them. They'll point out that there's no evidence that he raped his female slaves. And there's no direct evidence at least that he slaughtered Native Americans for fun. But like, I feel like I need evidence you didn't rape your female slaves if you owned female slaves. And I don't give a fuck if he had fun while he slaughtered the Native Americans or not.

There's no question that he didn't. So the fact that the guy ever was an American hero is really fucking gross. And the fact that we still have literally scores of counties, cities, parks, high schools, and festivals named after this motherfucker is downright despicable. And if you had to summarize, if you learned in one sentence,

no, what would it be? White people just shouldn't get statues. So that's not the same thing I Yeah, we're in for the quiz. Sure. Why not? All right. No, you've said a lot of the arguments against Marion's legacy on this episode. But what are the major counterarguments that should be considered? Hey, come on. Be, I mean, everybody was doing it.

See, okay, not everybody, but those guys were nerds. It's good. D, you're not so perfect yourself, you know, or E, why do you hate? Oh, wow, you know what, in the Wikipedia article, you can find all of these arguments. So I'm gonna go with F, a secret answer F, all of the above.

Yeah, yeah, a secret answer F all the way above. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Secret answer F. The chat page of this Wikipedia. She's like an actual question from the new Florida SAT that they're going with. Yeah. Right. All right. Well, it was super cool when that swamp box guy white scoffered not lining up in order to be killed by giant red coat firing squad. What else did he invent? Shooting where you don't eat. Me? Measuring twice. See? Sniffing out danger by letting a curious cat go first and kill itself or D going mouth to ass in that order. Oh wow, so I don't like to see one because of cat. So I'm going to go secret answer E A B and D. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Well, we're not gonna have anyone else left to heroify. Hey, good. Be.

Great. See, fucking spectacular, really. Or D, having heroes is for slow children. Stop it. Well, geez, this is expensive. Well, it's definitely D, actually. He is. D.

All right, well, he's the one this week. All right, next week, let's get Cecil running the show. Alright, okay, well for Noah, Tom, Heath and Eli, I'm Cecil. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then, I will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, listen to all our other podcasts, and that'll be about the right time for us to release this next episode of this show. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at

patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. If you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citation pod dot com. General, what happened? A text from the back. Most dishonorably. Those bastards!

And Brigadier? Yes, General. They used chandagas. Technically, we only used one at a time, so it was fair. Account. Totally not fair. Right more clear rules then. Don't fang! Totally not fang!

Right more clear rules then!