Citation Needed - La Maupin

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

Julie d'Aubigny (1670/1673–1707), better known as Mademoiselle Maupin or La Maupin, was a 17th-century swordswoman and opera singer. Her tumultuous career and flamboyant life were the subject ...of gossip and colourful stories in her own time, and inspired numerous portrayals afterwards. Théophile Gautier loosely based the title character, Madeleine de Maupin, of his novel Mademoiselle de Maupin (1835) on her.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh Jesus fucking Christ don't complain because you can't handle Chun Lee see dog She's fucking so broken though. It's fucking ridiculous You ever consider maybe you just suck see so fucking see so I want the fuck do you want him in the middle of something here? Don't interrupt him while he's getting his ass handed him by Chun Lee Fuck you. Sorry. Sorry, I need to borrow a sword. Bag, the bag's in the co-closet. What a fucking cheap ass roll, it's fucking bullshit.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Classic. Air throw. Dude, what do you need a sword for though? What are you talking about? I am inspired by this week's topic, so I'm headed to Mosaic! In Illinois, be fucking, what the fuck are you gonna do in more sales? Uh... It's not about the destination, it's about the journey.
Starting point is 00:00:49 That is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard stupid. Mmm, that is because you aren't an artist. No, I make a living, so... Different, painful. Anyway, which of these is what Lamopaa, what have you? 17 sensory france, um, that'd be a French small sword. That's this one? Eli.
Starting point is 00:01:10 That's a long sword. That's literally the biggest sword in there. I know you don't know about swords, but you do speak English, right? I thought it was like a reverse nickname. It's the small sword. This one. That's a swept-out rapier. Uh, this one. That's a mortuary sword. Okay, I am not dead, so I can't use that. This one. That's a swept-help rapier. Uh, this one. That's a mortuary sword.
Starting point is 00:01:26 Okay, I am not dead, so I can't use that. This one. Uh, that is a scabot. Uh-huh. Yep, that's it. Ah, it's the last one in the back. So how do you use it? Um, pointy end goes in the other guy.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Got it! It's all I need. I'll be back. I'm off to be an opera singer. What? You like what is having a sword have anything to do with it? Just just just you just let him go just let him go. Okay. Fucking cheap throw fucker. Helicopter kick. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed! The podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli Bosnick and I'll be conducting this course, but I'll need some plebeans to fill up the benches. First up, two men were kicked out of Anita Hills hearing for going, NICE! Keith and Tom! And by the way, my fingers were like that because I was playing the circle game. If you look at it, I get to punch you. That's a classic game.
Starting point is 00:02:48 They don't have a sudden number Nazi. I had no idea what he was talking about. All your stories end up with you suddenly being a Nazi. But it was the arm man. It's the break it. It's below the waist. Everybody knows how it works. And I get kicked out of all the hearings that I go to.
Starting point is 00:03:01 It's kind of a hobby of mine at this point. So I don't be judging. Why is everyone so judgey about this? That's fair. Not. And also joining us tonight, two men old enough to have known today's subject in person, Noah and Cecil. Hey, hey, it doesn't count as old if I text the kids to stay off my fucking lawn, right?
Starting point is 00:03:22 I'm with it. I knew this lady before there was even grass on the lawn, but so did her lover. Oh, you know. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Feel like to learn how to join their ranks. Be sure to stick around to the end of the show and with that other way Tell us Cecil what person plays thing concept phenomenon or event will we be talking about today today We are talking about Julie Dobny better known as Mademoiselle Mappin or Lama Pond and she was a 17th century swordswoman and opera singer and Tom you were pretty sure this was a food when you agreed to do this subject.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Are you ready to share your disappointment? I am, but I am pleased that Cecil was first to pronounce the name, even though I wrote this. I was desperate not to pronounce it. I don't know if I pronounce it. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't tell me. I'm gonna get a million email.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Here we go. All right. So tell us Tom, who was lawmuppet babies? La Mapan or Julie de Albany was a 17th century sword fighter, opera singer, and possibly the most French person ever born, maybe, I don't know, in 1673. It's not really known for sure. The Gaston de Albany is secretary to the Comde Arminit, who was the master of the horse for King Louis XIV. Now, master of the horse sounds either something of a grand title or something perhaps of a perverse hobby, but in fact, it was neither. Well, I was assuming it was the guy who booked and culture's travel.
Starting point is 00:05:06 She's stupid. That's it. And Julia Roberts, they bought Jesus. Fine. He's got a lot of options. No, in fact, the master of the horse was kind of a big deal. And the secretary to the master of the horse, Julie's dad, not so much. Julie's dad spent his life drinking heavily and teaching the King's
Starting point is 00:05:25 Pages defense. The master, a horse, the cop, the cops just like telling everybody off the embezzlement to bounce us through the tower through the portacolis, nothing but net, nothing but net. That is a, that's a sports inception reference to the amount of sports you need to know about to get that It's a standard Even I got that too McDonald's commercial it's one or the other you know what? You know all I've seen the McDonald's commercial that's probably why I got that joke
Starting point is 00:06:01 Where would you even get a portacol system existed? Why I got that joke. Where would you even get a portacol to something existing? Pronounced porpoise anyways. All right, and times living in the stables with the horses, Julie grew up dressing as a boy and living with the pages that are dad trained. And as a result, she was schooled in dancing and reading, drawing, and fencing. Lots of fencing. As she became proficient handling the sword, her father's
Starting point is 00:06:27 boss, the Compton Arminyre, decided she'd make a good mistress at 14. Well, I'm British, you know, that's 18 and metric, but either way, I mean, going door to door was way easier when you owned all the doors. So if you're the first to use it, you're fine. But so I get where the fencing thing goes, like when you're mistress surprises you by saying, ah, but I am not left handed, that is your damn impression. Right? And that extra finger is always helpful, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:06:58 All right, well, since you can't just take a 14 year old girl as a mistress without some good cover story noted the comp to Armin, yeah, I had her married off what what what Yes, what it was that you don't have to ask not now wasn't I said you can't just take a 14 year old girl as a mistress without some good cover story that come to Armin, yeah, I had her married off. Oh boy to see your demo pan. I put out that
Starting point is 00:07:27 wrong. Sir, sir, sir, certain moment. And she became met them to my pan. For his part, her husband received a nice job in the South of France and decided to leave his young bride at home. So basically, the Compton Arminyak brighted a guy with a good job far away to get fake married to his child mistress. So he could keep her without scandal. Oh, the scandal's gone now? Is it gone? No, it's gone.
Starting point is 00:07:54 No, no, no, it's cool. She married a different molester. And I, I'm molesting her ironically now to teach him. It's a molesting. It's satire molesting. It's satire. Chris Hansen is just like, of course, you are. Why don't you have a C right here? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:14 I know. I read a number of articles in addition to the Wikipedia on Mulpan for this. And one of the things that I love are all of the inexplicable jumps in her story, because you would think that like with all the effort put into secure his mistress that Mulpan might stick around for a while with the Compton Armin Act, but you'd be very, very wrong. No one ever explains what happened to that relationship. But Mulpan evidently had better things to do than to be someone's kept side piece, and she became involved in assistant fencing master named Saron.
Starting point is 00:08:47 She's awesome. And right before that, by the way, Comps voice got way higher. Sarons killed someone in a duel. And when he was about to be arrested for the crime, Mulpan and Sarons left Paris bound from our say. But you'd think, you know, as that guy's employer, you do whatever it took to keep him on staff. I mean, he's just really fucking good at his job.
Starting point is 00:09:11 It's like, right? It's like firing the kid from good will hunting for math thing too hard. Man, or firing Kevin Spacey from House of Cards, like you just say. Yes. But this is 1687. So just heading off to Mar you. Thank you. Yes. But this is 1687s. You're just heading off to Marseille is a bit rough. And make ends meet on the road.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Lamont Pan and Sarons made their way offering fencing exhibitions and singing and taverns and local fairs. You're basic traveling stab and sink show. Lamont Pan dressed in men's clothing pretty much all the time, although not to conceal her gender. She just dug that. Once during an incident known as the night of gasp, her gender was called into question by some dumbass who thought she had to be a man.
Starting point is 00:09:51 There's no woman could fend so well. Without hesitation, she pulled off her shirt to prove she was a woman. Presumably she had boobs. I feel like Hillary Clinton was maybe two drinks max away from doing the same thing at the end of that last debate with Trump. Really close. She's like, fuck it. You're a rapist. We just found out. How can I possibly lose? You know, Hilldog had dreams of a round of that debate being a sword fight. I had dreams that a round of the debate
Starting point is 00:10:26 would be a sword fight. I also think by this random stranger standards, Eli could have proven to that dude that he was a lady, a pregnant lady. All right. So once in a while say she joined the opera. Now, right now, I can say something that you can do, but this is not just something that you can't do. The opera is like really hard to just join, particularly if you were 16, and you probably smell like you've been traveling around
Starting point is 00:10:57 fencing and stripping and singing in bars. Okay, I mean, I think Cecil smells great, whatever. It's a nice musk. It's the beard oil. Okay, I mean, I think Cecil smells great whatever It's a nice musk. It's the beard oil. Oh, it is. Well my pan just just showed up and joined the fucking opera I don't know it doesn't sound too hard to bully a bunch of art geeks when you have a sword Directors just like the review I received in the time struck deeper than you're sold ever cooled Yeah, but she's like you're sure about that. No, you can be in the time struck deeper than your sword ever cooled. Yeah, but she's like, you sure about that? No, you can be in the opera. All right. And then she got bored, a recurring theme. So she dumped the fencing master and she
Starting point is 00:11:37 fell in love with a young woman. The young woman's parents were less than thrilled with this arrangement. So they put the woman away in a convent in Aminion. So Loma Panded running when we do, she tracked her lover down, snuck into the convent pretending to be a postulate. She then grabbed a dead nun's body because I guess they were just dead nuns laying around. I don't know. What's happening? What would she've done if there wasn't a dead nun stuck it in the bed of her lover, and then she set the room on fire to escape. What?
Starting point is 00:12:10 Yeah, and they escaped. Although Loma Penn was later tried in absentia for kidnapping and arson and body snatching and failing to appear before the tribunal, and she was sentenced as a man to death by fire. Oh, and that affair, that big affair with that young woman lasted three months. Yeah, but she got bored. That girl was just a lay missionary.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Huh? Religious joke, guys. Oh, I don't even think that's a shit, tits. I'm just saying it. Destroying shit, threatening people, ruining the lies of lovers. She drags around with her. I can see why people thought she was a man. Like I can't say.
Starting point is 00:12:51 The Fusion. Every sentence started with, well, actually, but it ended with boobs coming out. So I can tell you from experience that's super confusing for people. I don't get me there. Also public service note here, if you're thinking of trying the dead nuns switch a root trick to a scone with your lover, check under our nose with a mirror first. It's harder to tell than you think with not. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Yeah. All right. So the young woman return home probably very confused and I'm just guessing here more than a little sore. He's lesbian sex harder in your mind, Tom. Like, you see, I think with love on pants, she's probably a little rough around the edges. The alike some swordplay.
Starting point is 00:13:31 And I'm doing it now. I'm in there. I mean, I'm there with you. And Loma Pan had a appearance on her way in Philip Purdue, a nobleman insulted Loma Pan. So they fought a duel. She won, drove her sword through his shoulder. Nice. The next day, she sword through his shoulder. Nice.
Starting point is 00:13:45 The next day, she asked after his health and discovered that she had just skewered the Duke of Lyon's son. So she went to pay him a visit and they became lovers until they recovered from his wound and had to return to military service. They remained lifelong friends. He probably called off. Okay. Okay. You hear that ladies? You just stab he through the shoulder. You're going to expect right away. Or okay, or maybe we'll just talk in person at that point. Now that you're right there stabbing me. I feel like let's not commit to any texting. Let's just, you know, we would talk. I love my paying person. Continue down the road, not stabbing anyone for a while until she met
Starting point is 00:14:25 and began an affair with the singer Gabrielle Vincent Bevinard. Together they headed to Paris with the hopes of joining the opera. Oh, except that Loma Pange had a death sentence for like five crimes hanging over her head and if she got caught, they were going to set her on fire. So she contacted her first lover, the Compton Arminyak and asked for his help. Because I guess nobody is more interested in helping the former lover you abandoned, but he did help possibly just because she's so much more interesting to watch alive than spit roasted and the king for his part not only pardoned her, but allowed her to sing with the op.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Or like maybe it's the spit roasted thing or maybe it's because she's been on a Mickey and Mallory-esque murder spree for her entire post-pute Bessons. I feel like that could be a one-of-a-laner joke, right? All right, well, this shows not over until the fat lady sings, and Lamamba just stabbed and then seduced her, so we'll take a quick break for everyone's favorite use of the interstitial music, apropos of nothing. And welcome back to Good Morning, France, the only French morning show that has a guy with a midwestern accent hosting it. Today's guest is an opera singer, a dualist,
Starting point is 00:15:45 and now celebrity chef, Julie, something all big neat, fuck you French, you're a stupid language with too many letters. Julie, welcome to the program. Uh, thank you for having me, Dave, and please call me Lamonba. Why? I, no, it's 8 a.m. Perfect time for wine. Woo, one. This guy gets it. Yeah, I's 8 a.m. Perfect time for wine!
Starting point is 00:16:05 Woo! One! This guy gets it! Yeah, I do. I get it. So, alright, so, Lumbopin, what will you be cooking for us today? Well, I was going to make the wine, but you turned out to be a fucking pussy, so I don't have anything to eat.
Starting point is 00:16:20 No, I meant, I meant what you were going to eat. Alright, today we are making chicken square layers. This chicken, she was my lover, but now I am bored so I step her with the sword, and now we season, oh, with wine. Woo, wine, yeah. Okay, he gives it. Yep, I just yelled stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:41 And what temperature are you gonna cook the chicken now? Well, I'm going to light the room on fire, and when I come back, I'm going to eat whatever I can find of this chicken. Or maybe fuck it. No promises. Okay, well we'll let Lum all pan get to the setting of our studio on fire, just don't touch that dot. Hey Tom, I appreciate you taking this call. Yeah, yeah, we know you're really busy and all, but we want to talk to you about the subject
Starting point is 00:17:20 you chose for this week's essay. Yeah, it's not that we didn't like it. It was actually really cool to learn about such an interesting character in history that we'd never heard of. And this show can definitely use some more strong female subjects. It's just that she's French. Yeah. And that's not a bad thing, like in and of itself.
Starting point is 00:17:42 But you know as soon as Eli finds out, we're doing an episode about a French person, he's going to want to do a French accent. Yeah, we're not sure why, but Eli's got it in his head that he's really good at doing voices and, and he's not. He's really, really not. And he's already managed to offend our Hispanic listeners, our Australian listeners, our British listeners, our Scottish listeners, our Italian listeners, our Zulu listeners, and our German listeners with his bad voice work. And I just, I don't know that we can afford to offend yet another nationality. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:18:14 Are you okay, Tom? You sound a little, a little weird. I flew. Got you. Anyway, the point is that we should be super careful about offering up new groups of people for Eli to offend, because our international listenership is already pretty low, and the French have been looking for an excuse
Starting point is 00:18:35 to extradite Eli for over a decade now. No, that's, no need to say that, no, because I think Eli's voices are super convincing and indistinguishable from the real thing. Yeah, they're not though, you're wrong. Huh, dumb, dumb, green and discreet, but well it's just three of us on the line. Don't you guys think it's pretty funny, I see so low as jokes that he's not Eli's best friend? Right, like that's a funny joke that we are all in all together and
Starting point is 00:19:05 haven't told Eli about. Is that a joke? Because I mean, because he's told me that he's deadly serious about that and that he's gotten permission from a judge to shoot Eli if he showed up at his door on announced again. Oh, which judge did he say which judge? No, no, that's a weird question for you to ask no but that that's what happened anyway I guess since it's already written we'll do this episode but you know just some food for thought the next time you're picking a subject anyway you go ahead and take some alka seltzer something and feel better okay thank you is it just me or did Tom sound like he'd gained a lot of weight?
Starting point is 00:19:46 Yeah, he usually sounds less pale and flabby. Yeah, weird. And we're back. When we left off, we were about to hear a letter from 65 people who LaMamba didn't seduce slash stab. Tom, take us home. That was topical when we recorded it. He's a Supreme Court justice now. He is.
Starting point is 00:20:19 That's why you have that baby you don't want. Okay, we don't know that much of a delay. She had that baby a couple weeks ago. She had that baby now. The pair is opera hired Lomo Pan in 1690, but they actually hired both her and her boyfriend. And Lomo Pan for her part, she wasn't just okay as an opera singer. She performed initially as a soprano, but later switched to a more natural control range. And she was reviewed as having quote, the most beautiful voice in the world.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Well, originally that read the most beautiful voice in the world, or I'll stab you in the urethra, but then she explained that last part wasn't supposed to go in the quote. So it ended up just ending it, world. She debuted in a number of operas, all of which are difficult to pronounce. And she was goddamn great at all of them, although she famously did not get along well with other members of the company.
Starting point is 00:21:19 In fact, she beat the shit out of some of the members of that company, most notably beating the hell out of the famous singer, Lewis Goulard Dumanci, which I feel like I nailed that pronunciation. Oh, yeah. So hard. You know, if I was in such a feminist, I might start to think that getting in all these fights might be partially her fault. She also engaged in a public battle to wits with her friend, Thvenard, Thven, Thven, three vineyards. And she not only won, but became for a time the talk of Paris. What the fuck is a public battle with? For reference, I come from a time when Donald Trump is present.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah, we're on a delay. Now it's it's Pence now. Well, the rapier prevailed in both eras. Now it's it's Pence now the rapier prevailed in both eras. So she then fell in love with one of the singers who was herself the mistress of the grand alphanon when loma pan was rejected by this woman she tried to kill herself but she was too good at defense. I'm assuming probably left her with a repost traumatic stress disorder. Probably left with a Reposed traumatic stress disorder
Starting point is 00:22:29 Tets that's on point Chains of masturbating gets bored with herself Astroly projects so she can leave herself it's a whole thing I was 1695 at a society ball my pan still and always dressed as a man, spotted a beautiful woman in Kister. Several know-em-were outraged at the impropriety and demanded a duel. Mulpan agreed. To all of them, she told each to meet her outside at midnight, and in turn she dueled all three men, beat them all, and then walked back into the ball. Wait, a girl just chased three white knights.
Starting point is 00:23:08 All the gamer gators just fucking imploded. And she's awesome, but this is also a problem because again, dueling is illegal. So she once more had a skipped town to, you know, avoid being on fire. She went to Brussels and she pretty much immediately became the mistress of Maximilian II Emmanuel, the Elector of Bavaria. So on the run from the law, she shacked up with the ruler of Bavaria, who was also incidentally the prince-elector
Starting point is 00:23:37 of the Holy Roman Empire. So it turns out it's both who you know and who you belong. Yeah. I just shout the secret to my success from the fucking rooftop Cecil. Damn. At this point, she was keeping her swords in her snooge, right? I mean, that is. All right, but a woman's got to work.
Starting point is 00:23:58 So she joined the opera in Brussels and she appeared in other unpronounceable performances. The heat having died down, she returned to Paris, and again, somehow rejoined the opera, no idea how. But she immediately got in trouble again, this time for beating up her landlord. Oh, and then one of her best friends fatally stabbed someone in a duel. But pretty much nothing came of any of this trouble, presumably because it would be literally impossible to stop this juggernaut of sex, death and music.
Starting point is 00:24:26 They said the same thing about Ted Kennedy after he drowned that girl. Okay, but Sister, you got to admit, he was amazing in Queen of the Night, right? That's excellent. Something like that. Oh, that's excellent. Something like that. And 1705, not only did she appear more operas, but a very famous opera writing guy wrote an opera specifically for her nailed it. Bowling Mozart had been fucking Ted Kennedy.
Starting point is 00:25:03 That's some good stuff. You bring that up a lot, Heath. I'm not disagreeing. I have to say you make that observational. It needs to be said. All right, so remember when you're at home listening to Andre Campra's 10th Crete, the role of Clorinda was written just so this woman could sing it. Right.
Starting point is 00:25:23 And that explains all the liner notes in the piece telling you not to stab or fuck anyone. I actually Eli, I just write that on everything you own when I visit. So that's probably that was probably. Well, last it was not all stabbings and operas and lovers taken who run the Holy Roman Empire in Bavaria. Loma Pan also fell deeply in love with a woman named Marie. Luis Terese de Senator la Marquita, Florence.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Marie, however, died, possibly crushed under the unyielding weight of that goddamn name. It's also crushed poor Lomo Pan. Heartbroken. Lomo Pan quit the opera and took refuge in a convent. And sadly died adding to the stockpile of convent bodies in 1705. Lamalpan was 33 when she died. So for those keeping count, that's eight lovers, seven duels, three opera houses, and one fiery death sentence all in less than 20 years of her life.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Amen. And Tom, if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? Then I am 40 years old and I have wasted all of it. I learned that from every episode. I am, Eli, because it's that part of the show and I sort of have to be. All right, Tom, I'm going to go first. How did Lama Pound get away with being such a spoiled shitty brat that started fight, stab people and lit random places on fire? Hey, influential friends. Okay, all right. I see what you're doing there. But I'm have to agree to disagree. I think
Starting point is 00:27:05 she was a shitty spoiled brat. But I do think the fire she started were not random. So I'm going to say you have no question. I get this right by default. That is correct. Judges. Judges. All right. I have a tougher one here for you. How did Lomo pan escape punishment for her various crimes for so long? A, her sheath was as good as her sword. B, being a malicious asshole has always been the French national pastime. C, I don't know what's types of her. Yeah. They don't speak English. See, when asked what type of people she said on fire, she said none. The French anticipated what a bunch of pansies they were going to look like after World War II and they wanted a national figure to counterbalance that that wasn't a five foot two
Starting point is 00:27:56 inch habitual nipple pitcher who insisted his awkward half-bone was exaggerated in all of his portraits. I mean, mean shot. I'm going to reject the Napoleon reference here. I'm going to go with A because you see more than capable of her tool. That is correct sir. Well done. All right. So which of the following would be the best musical collaboration with the
Starting point is 00:28:27 Kennedy family? Now, the one on the subject. A, Lamont Pan and Ted Kennedy, they make the magic flute, a pay, purview event, a pay, sword, nail dits. B, that was amazing. Everybody's shit. It's B. I'm not going on to there we go. B, that was amazing. Everybody's shit. It was one of the walls. I'm not going on to, there we go.
Starting point is 00:28:46 B, JFK and Beyonce. You'll be killed by the rest of us. That's for sure. See, so these sword jokes, where do you come up with them? That's right. B, JFK and Beyonce make the grassy Knowles album. Obviously, look at him. Back into the left.
Starting point is 00:29:09 To the left. Thank you. You want me back? Yeah. Or C, Ted Kennedy and Lin Manuel Miranda, obviously they make rapid quiddick musical. Rapp rapid quiddick musical. The rap a quidic musical. If someone doesn't do that, right?
Starting point is 00:29:29 Patriot. The goal. Yeah, that's shit. That's brilliant. All right. Well, I'm going to go with A. Lama Pan and Ted Kennedy because I feel like she knows her way around the flu. Good guess.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Good guess, but it was rap a quidic, the musical, as turns out. Oh, I thought I was going to play right, but it was rap quiddick, the musical as turns out. Oh, I thought I was right, but I was wrong. See, he stumped up. So he's the winner. All right, next week, I would like to choose my best friend, Cecil. Oh, best friends. Oh, best friends. Okay, jealous of that one.
Starting point is 00:30:03 So sweet. All right, well for Tom, Cecil that one. Oh, sweet. Yeah. All right, well for Tom, Cecil, Heath, and Noah, I'm Eli. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then Cecil will be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can listen to Cecil and Heath on their show, That Sounds Delicious,
Starting point is 00:30:17 or you can listen to Tom, Noah, and I on the YouTube channel until he explodes podcast. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash Citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can and if you'd like to get in touch with us Check out past episode connect with us on social media or check the show notes Be sure to check out citation pod dot com and remember Mississippi has the worst drivers And remember Mississippi has the worst drivers. This is really delicious. Right, I told you.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Do something else with the wine. Do more wine stuff. This guy.

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