Citation Needed - Mary Toft, the Lady that Gave Birth to Rabbits
Episode Date: July 3, 2019Mary Toft (née Denyer; c. 1701–1763), also spelled Tofts, was an English woman from Godalming, Surrey, who in 1726 became the subject of considerable controversy when she tricked doctors into b...elieving that she had given birth to rabbits.  Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here. Be sure to check our website for more details. Â
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Because because the point of the game is to give clues about the meaning of the words he's well
I mean the point of the game is to win. That's a game. You know what never mind
Tell him to stop clenching
Okay, you gotta stop clenching
I know you're gonna get a smaller funnel. That's what you got it
Okay, the parts won't fit through a smaller funnel Tom. We've been okay guys guys guys
Why are you feeding chicken nuggets?
Into Tom's ass with a funnel again?
No, I know
Jesus
You know okay, so you know how you're always saying we need to grow the show by consistently making a good product and then letting it grow
organically yeah
while you were talking about that i was thinking about this week's episode and
how famous marie tof got
bing bang boom
tom is gonna give birth to one hundred chicken nuggets it's not a uh...
bing bang boom situation that phrase doesn't work for the record
guys think about it
did you read in the paper about that guy who gave birth to a hundred
chicken nuggets? What? Of course I did. Have you heard his podcast? We're gonna be rich and then the dollop
is gonna want to be our friends. You gotta let that go. You gotta let that go Eli. Never in my whole life. Guys, guys,
first of all, you don't, you don't give birth out of your butt. Tom, you have kids. I know, don't remind me.
They were a nightmare about me taking their nuggets
for this.
And see, so I get Eli and canonically, Tom and Heath,
but what possibly convinced you that this was a good idea?
Oh, don't miss, I don't think this is a good idea,
but Tom knocked over a bunch of mic stands this week
and going along with it seemed like a good punishment. You know, over a bunch of mic stands this week and going along
with it seemed like a good punishment.
I'm surprised you weren't on board seeing how you always talks about your essays.
I mean, yeah, you know what I'm in.
I'm in me too.
Yep, that a boy.
See, I told you.
Nice, yes.
So how many we got so far?
It's still free, dude.
It's still free.
Not damn it, it feels like so many more.
Stop clenching.
It's all about the breath. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a
single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet
and that's how it works now.
I'm Heath and I'll be chairing this week's Warren Commission, Warren.
Oh my god. And joining me are two original members of the rabbit-themed hair band.
It's already lunch. I can't do it.
Warren, Warren, C-Saw and Noah, Warren.
Is a band.
Warren, 2020, that's what I'm saying.
Oh, we hair bands, we should have known eventually
the tortoise bands were gonna overtake us.
Oh, it's so good.
And also, Johnny Mear, two men who aren't allowed
within 500 feet of a chocolate egg ever since that Cadbury audition, Tom and Eli.
Okay, at least mine didn't break Tom.
Okay, it's the same reason I'm not allowed within a thousand yards of a brothel. I'm the only one with that restrictions.
They wrote, okay, so tell us, Noah.
What person-place thing, concept phenomenon or event or event are we gonna be talking about today?
Okay, huge thanks to patron soggy pants for what could be the greatest suggestion of all time great work today
We're gonna be talking about the woman who gave birth to rabbits
Mary Toft and
Cecil, you appreciate getting confused by the phrase fucking like
rabbits as much as the next person, which to be clear is the lady that we're talking about
today and nobody else ever.
So, tell us the story of Mary Toft.
All right, this is an amazing story of a woman with a roomy womb who was also an expert
in animal husbandry.
I think you misspelled Dugger up in the earlier.
This story starts in 1726 in a town called Godelman, about 45 miles outside of London.
In that town lived a woman, a wife of a clothotheier and a mother of three named Mary Toft.
The couple were peasants, so they worked like a whole
fucking lot.
And back then, they didn't have much in the way of
maternity leave, kind of like the United States does now.
So when she got knocked up for a fourth time,
she kept working in the fields.
Right, but Amazon workers do get two day free delivery.
It's good. Amazon's whole model is labor and delivery. right but amazon workers do get two day free delivery
amazon's old model is labor and delivery
as we found out i guess subsequently in civilized countries it's probably not
great to be working your ass off while pregnant the wiki says quote
she complained of painful complications early in the pregnancy
and in early august it just did several pieces of flesh one as big as my arm
this may have been a result of an abnormality of the bell of the
president i don't know what's whoever was talking it's just a random person on
wikipedia's like this is my arm i know i immediately looked out of my arm and i thought
that's full term like that's a lot what that's happening it's really
big it's like the size of a salami it's a very long which would maybe which I'm
gonna continue on which would have caused the embryo to stop developing and blood
clots and flesh to be ejected that is the quote Cecil buddy gonna need you to
take a hard right turn into comedy people came here for the stuffing rabbits up your
kooch episode we could get any better this this
character
talking about a commercial in Alabama that's enough
it doesn't get any better for a woman who treats her fucking kooch like a
pressure cooker? Okay, here we go, bring it around.
Yeah, hold on.
Let us up a second.
And forget it.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Well, late in September, I'm guessing on her morning break, she goes in the labor.
Wow.
Her neighbor was there this time just hanging out I guess and watched
quote as she produced several animal parts and quote what so her neighbor
thinks I should package these up and give them the grand tour so she so she takes
him to Mary's mother and Toft who's also a midwife I love you goes hey anything
about me walking up to you with his handful a random animal flesh that seems odd in
Anyway, I'm open. So anyway, it's also sufficiently freaked out by this so she quote
Set the flesh to John Howard a gilford-based man midwife of 30 years experience." And quote, she sent it.
Yeah.
That's what it's up.
Just like walking up to the post office
with a wicker basket of loose fling.
Hello.
No liquids to declare before you ask.
It's books.
This side up.
The open sides. What they call for a man midwife. This side up the open size
What they call for a man mid what man made wife has to be the most man's planious job title
It all mid ever mid husband mid man man
We didn't ask a man what happened in these lady parts yet. Okay, this is gonna go well for this story. I can feel it all right.
Yeah.
All right.
Now, Howard initially just dismisses this shit
as totally made up.
But I guess he had some duty to fulfill
because the next day, despite thinking she was full of shit,
he heads out to go visit her.
When he shows up, her mother Ann is there
with more pieces that fell out of top last night, when he checks her out he doesn't find anything.
Wait so this guy's job was to finish up this situation and say everything
looks normal to me.
I don't know what his job was.
Then she goes in a labor again.
You're right.
Then she goes in a labor again I I guess, and she births more parts.
They finally inventory. Never a good phrase. I don't care if a rabbit involved her, not birthing parts.
She's got a jumping guard. I guess I guess there was a more sensitive way to say that I did, but
I guess there was a more sensitive way to say that that I did but I don't know
Anyway, she shits out more parts and then Mrs.
Finally inventory these parts like two weeks later and here's the quote
Over the next few days he delivered three legs of a cat of tabby color
What one leg of rabbit the guts of a cat and in them were three pieces of backbone of eel. The cat's feet supposedly were formed in her imagination from a cat she was fond of
that slept in her bed at night.
Tof seemingly became ill once more and over the next few days delivered more pieces of
rabbit and
Yeah, the original turducken recipe got honed a lot over the years
It's good to begin with but you know none
None of this needed to happen if she hadn't swallowed that spider to catch the flop Right, it just went downhill. So quickly. All right, so let's continue with the tale
of the worst slot machine in history.
So somehow this story gets a part for such
and puts rabbits in, she gets rabbits out.
She's like, cat arm, cat arm, cat gut,
it's got to them it.
Fuck.
Cat, cat, cat eel,! Fuck! Uh, always lands on eel.
What's known as a slit machine?
No cherries.
So somehow this story gets to the court of King George I.
And a gentleman by the name of harry devonant
heads out from one didn't go see what all the fuss is about
he goes to check it out
examinzer and the bunny parts and is immediately a convert
john howard then moves tough to gilford
where
quote
he offered to deliver rabbits in the presence of anyone who doubted her story
and quote
yeah uh... the original rabbit from Hat Magic trick
should not have been honed so much over the years.
Yeah, because it was perfect already.
OK, so fun fact, that is actually,
this story is literally where that trick comes from.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, after this took place and was like really well-known,
a London magician
Produced a rabbit from a hat with the line Mary Toft must be around here somewhere
Wait, I'm I'm sorry Eli
You knew about this story and still went with a Harry Potter fanfic essay
That's the one you're calling out, not like what happened to Finland, the Harry Potter
fan.
I'm still stuck on that one.
I'll get there.
Howard and Devonant begin to correspond about this and it comes the attention of the royal
surgeon Nathaniel St. Andre.
St. Andre later published a pamphlet
with one of these letters. So here's the letter.
Sir, since I wrote you, I have taken or delivered the poor woman of three more rabbits.
All three half grown. One of them had done rabbit. The last leaped 23 hours in the universe before it dies. Jesus. Leap.
Yeah, that's what it says.
Leap.
It actually just punched your fucking belly.
It cut this out.
Fuck.
As soon as the 11th rabbit was taken away, up,
leaped the 12th rabbit, which is now leaping.
The original rabbit ears vibrator really got honed over the years
if you have any curious person
that is pleased to come post
may see another leap in her uterus
and shall take it from her if he pleases what which will be great satisfaction
to the curious yet another car machine also got home
uh... if she had been with child curious. Yeah, no, the clone machine also got honed over here. I guess. Ah!
If she had been with child, she has but 10 days more to go. So I do not know how many rabbits may be behind.
I have brought the woman to Gilford for better convenience.
I am, sir, your humble servant, John Howard.
OK, real quick, so a modern translation,
because that's, you know, some fancy prose there.
A quote, sir, none of us know how babies are made
or born and lady bits are a mystery to us all.
But if anyone around wants to stare at a poor person's
crotch and gawk, now's your chance.
Yes, there might even be buddies.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
What? your chance. Yes, there might even be buddies. Pretty good. Pretty good.
What?
What a little translate-stalled time, I guess.
Yeah.
There's a new twist on that staring thing if you're getting bored with the regular version
of poor people's hat, that you're gawking at.
A week after a newspaper reported the story, the Miss weekly journal had this to say from gilford comes a strange but well attested piece of news
is it
uh...
that a woman
who lives in godman
was about a month past delivered by mister john howard
an eminent surgeon and madman wife and i have a great
and he was already
uh... corrected people
uh... the creature of a creature who was already corrected people. Of a creature.
He's resembling a rock actually about every
of a creature resembling a rabbit, but whose heart and lungs grew outside its
belly about 10 days since she was delivered by the same person of a perfect
rabbit. And in a few days after of four more and on Friday, Saturday,
Sunday, the fourth, fifth and sixth instant of one each day.
In all nine, they died all in bringing into the world.
The woman half made oath that two months ago, being working in a field with other women, they put up a rabbit,
who running from them, they pursued it, but to no purpose.
This created in her such a longing to it that she, being with child, was taken ill and miscarried.
And from that time, she has not been able to avoid thinking of rabbits.
What?
People, after all, differ much in their opinion on this matter.
Oh, they do?
Some.
Well, back then, I guess they did.
Some looking upon them as great curiosities,
fit to be presented to the Royal Society, et cetera.
Others are angry at the account and say
that if it be a fact, a veil must be drawn over it
as an imperfection in human nature.
End quote.
I don't know.
I was really like, hey, honey, now think about gold bars and anibyod.
Okay, I just like a point of contention.
If women gave birth to whatever they were thinking about at the moment of conception,
there'd be a lot of Brad Pitt babies out there like just
I'm slow. None of them would look like you is what I'm saying to the other
people. Or at least they do. They'd look like your brother.
All right so just to review the two sides of this argument are this is great we should present this to the royal society
or be this is an imperfection in human nature and that's it. Yep. Okay so that's the craziest
for a quick break for some apropos of um fucking a rabbit I guess probably true
hey honey I'm home oh hello my darling husband, how was your work today? Okay, offensive.
It was fine, just you know, poor Irish stuff, the usual.
Mm-hmm.
Well, me love and laughter.
A plan has formed in me, mind,
to change our stance.
We're in New York, whatever.
What's that?
Oh, well I was thinking, what if we stuff like, hmm, 12 rabbits up me, coach.
And then we call the doctor and say, I gave birth to them, you know, will be so rich and famous.
Sorry, sorry, just real quick. Your plan for us to escape our desperately poor agrarian lifestyle
is to insert 12, you said, 12 rabbits?
12 rabbits, you're gonna put 12 rabbits inside your body
and defraud the entire medical profession
in hopes of being famous?
Indeed, indeed, indeed.
Yeah, fuck it, why the hell not?
That's actually pretty good.
That's pretty good, you don't usually have good ideas.
Grab a foyer, poker. These bastards keep slipping out.
It's all in the breath. Ah.
And we're back. When we left off, Cecil was about to tell us about a live tortoise coming out of this
woman's birth canal.
So now the British royal family is super duper interested in this amazing phenomenon.
So they send out their surgeon and the secretary to the Prince of Wales, Samuel Malanoo.
So they get there to check her out, and as a welcoming gift, she goes in a labor again
and gives birth to a rabbit torso.
They examine it, quote, to check if it had breathed air, he placed a piece of its lung
in the water to see if it would float, which it did.
Holy shit, the lung was a witch, dude.
This is the best story.
What?
Continuing, St. Andre then performed
a medical examination on Toft
and concluded that the rabbits were bred
in her fallopian tubes.
They leave, and while they're gone,
she gives birth to another rabbit torso.
Let's hold in that one in for later, huh?
Yep.
Swoxen.
Oh, you guys just missed it.
This crazy.
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
So their conclusion from that test was that it breathed.
Philippian air?
Yeah, I guess.
Little while later, they come back and quote a further medical examination
followed and saint andre delivered some rabbit skin followed a few minutes later
by a rabbit's head both men inspected the adjusted pieces of flesh noting
that
some resemble the body parts of a cat and quote
this isn't a real rabbit birthed by a human, it's a cat! Boom! Born! Boom!
Just the rabbit gets skinned, I wonder, doesn't matter, whatever.
What is happening, it's like a meat grider up there.
I know, right?
Wait, is this just like what a bowl of...
She's giving it a sausage length in a few minutes.
It's a bowl of Hassan Feffer, that's what that is.
The bowl? The kid can't get enough of this story and
he sends another search and out to examine Mary Toft. The gentleman by the name of
Syriacus Aillers, when he sees her he's immediately suspicious. She's basically smashing
her legs together to hold whatever is inside or where it is.
And he gets so weird vibe from Howard as well because Ayers totally wanted to be there to help this lady give birth to the rabbit cutlets and Howard wouldn't let him.
So he's like the weirdest version of the PP dance ever.
Just like, ahhhhhh!
The rabbits!
Should have picked something I wasn't allergic to.
This is very itchy.
Hold on.
I'm leaping.
So this guy pretends he 100% believes these two and says that he'd like to further study
the miscarried rabbits.
They give him some parts to take back to one with him and he inspects
them. He decides that they look like they've been cut with a knife or some other implement
and he also found straw and grain on them.
Okay, right, but fallopian straw.
It is kind of suspicious though, but I don't know. The tour so was wearing a diaper but
but
babies do wear diapers this dot i mean it makes sense
but
but
saying andrei comes back to gilford
and when he arrives he's told by howard that she gave birth again this time to
two more rabbits
no word if they had detachable parts are not
uh... she was however not doing well.
I mean all parts are detachable. Yeah, if you try hard enough, I guess that's true.
That's the most time observation. I can break any object.
This is honestly listeners, he does this in every episode. This is the only time that comments made sense
She was at this point however not doing so well
Quote yeah, no she delivered several portions of what presumed to be a placenta
But she was by then quite ill and suffering from constant pain in her right
side of her abdomen and quote saying Andre had all the witnesses to this
particular birthing
sign affidavits
those witnesses would go on to vouch for joseph smith's golden plates and really
look silly
yeah
why i just i can't believe she's not well see that is it is stuffing fucking dead rabbit parts up your who
Not well. Oh, I don't know time. I'm waiting for some woman to woman's plane it to me. So let's see
The King orders a third investigation and asks Richard manning him the bishop of
Chis sister?
I don't know, whatever.
Fuck you.
Yeah, fuck you.
Whatever, fuck that is.
Manningham, the Bishop of Chis sister.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
So he says, go look at this lady.
She delivered while he's there.
She delivered what Manningham called a Hawksblatter.
But St. Andre and Howard said that it was totally
something else. It didn't pass the sniff test though, as Manning him called a hawks bladder, but St. Andrean Howard said that it was totally something else.
It didn't pass the sniff test though,
as Manning him noted that it smelled like urine.
What's a bladder supposed to smell like?
I'm like, I'm like, I said it's not a bladder though.
Okay, just point of curiosity,
like what the fuck was on her mind when she conceived the hogs bladder like
honey you look preoccupied in this don't fucking interrupt this moment Jim
this is my time
what is happening this is my favorite part of the story
the story becomes something of a sensation all over England. People stopped eating rabbit for some reason.
Also, it tastes like shit.
I can't.
Also, it's shit to the doctors.
Want to inspect this lady?
And under St. Andre's supervision, a bunch of them do.
One of the people that inspects her is a doctor who taught midwives called John Marbury.
He wrote a book called The Female Physician.
And he claims that women can give birth to a kind of creature called a pseudocrine.
What's what? And I can't explain this as well as a Wikipedia can.
So this is my favorite part of the whole story, okay.
There's a thing called a pseudocrine, a pseudocrine. And I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly.
I'm sure someone could tell me better, but I'm gonna just gotta call it pseudocrine.
A pseudocrine is a fabled,
is a fabled small creature about the size of a mouse
that certain women were believed
to have been capable of giving birth to.
The origin of this initially jocular fantasy lies
in the 18th century
in some, and some eminent physicians of the day
considered it factual.
It is attributed to the tendency of
judge women to frequently sit on stows or use them under their petty coats to
keep warm what hence causing the breeding of a small kind of animal that would
mature and be born
right right right because stows are made of
mousecom got it that track
uh... i didn't mean to interrupt go ahead
i would believe this if they were like
sitting on an unbalanced washing machine but the i'll be like this alright right
not everyone's into the same stuff
time
mullaby was in i'm gonna continue out with this quote from wikipedia marbary was
an advocate for maternal impression.
A widely held belief that conception and pregnancy could be influenced by what the pregnant
mother dreamt of or saw.
Marbury warned pregnant women that over familiarity with household pets could make their
chills when resemble those animals.
Interesting.
We did have a pretty racist golden retriever
when my mom was pregnant, so I got that.
That's awesome.
But by the way, in case you're wondering
where they got such a crazy idea,
it was from the book of Genesis.
It's really, yes.
Oh, but like looking at a zebra or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. looking at a zebra or something. Yeah, exactly.
We're gonna get the striped cows and the spotted cows.
It's a biblical concept.
This is where a prominent male midwife
and probably the foremost authority on anatomy,
James Douglas enters the picture.
Foremost authority on anatomy.
At this point, this is a low bar in history.
I don't know. That's really is.
That's the art
okay
name all the parts
on the outside
you're in first place
everyone else answered rabbit dick
so
shooter king
who was
the fuck
so they keep trying to get him to check toft out and he thinks it's a hoax and has zero
interest eventually he's convinced to see her and they produce the hogs blatter that came out of
her and he isn't fucking buying it so he and the others basically say that's cool and all but
we'd like to be in the room when she does it so they let him stay but her magic uterus get
stage fright and while she went into labor several times, when they were there, she doesn't give birth to a rabbit.
She's like, I guess I should do some impressions or something.
Well, look, it's the Sarlac.
Boba Fett, where?
I love that this is the first time in this whole story where any one of the doctors was like,
okay, what if we watch her give birth?
I know where you're taking the thought of that.
Look at it.
Nobody thought of that.
Let's see it.
Oh, my eyes.
Okay.
Man, they should have done, like, remember what the spontaneous generation, they just put
a, should have put cheesecloth over her, who to ever see if a rabbit just appears on the
anyway in early December this whole house of cards comes tumbling down and
investigator finds out that Mary Toff's husband has been buying a bunch of young rabbits
oh god in the same day a porter at the hotel slash brothel that Mary Toff was staying at confesses
that he was bribed by Toff's sister-in-law to sneak a rabbit inside her chamber.
Look, that's not a euphemism.
Yeah, I know, right?
What?
What?
Didn't Mary?
When question Mary denied this, but her sister admitted it, but said the rabbit was, quote,
for eating only and close.
Unlike her chamber.
That means at some point someone was like, no, I am telling you, I was not stuffing those
rabbits up my fun basket
It's an eating rabbit not a vagina rabbit
The bishop then examines are again and thinks there still might be something up there
So he suggests that they keep around our observation for a few days
It's not that he believes her as he's the one who sniffed the whole pig letter thing, it's that he's pressuring her to confess. He says at one point, he says,
there must be a rabid up there, and he has to perform a very, very painful operation to remove it,
and she confesses a movie. Well done. Well done. Classic King Solomon move move just like i'm gonna cut this rabbit
piece in half with a god damn chainsaw wallets inside you
uh...
unless anyone has any objections three
to
uh...
that's okay
there is so here's here's a quote from wikipedia
following her miscarriage and while her service permitted access
and accomplish had inserted into a womb that clause and body of a cat and the head of
a rabbit just they had also they had to first thought yeah right they had also
invented a story in which tough claim that during pregnancy and while working in
a field she had been startled by her habit and since had become obsessed with
rabbits and quote later bursts were accomplished by stuff and cut up rabbit parts up her
badge so that's how they did that so for clarity this whole thing started when a woman had
a miscarriage and then was like you know it would be fun I mean, we'll work here. Yeah.
Yeah.
No, for her friend, that's like a live laugh love moment, right?
Like, that's fucking something.
That's like...
Sisterhood of the traveling rabbit births or something, anyway.
She's charged as a...
Now get this.
Vile, cheat, and imposter. is she's charged as a get now get this vile sheet and in pasta
she basically blames a bunch of people relatives john howard a woman that she
meant and told her the procedure and said that this trick would make it so she
would quote never want as long as she lived and quote
okay so i'll start by saying phase three is profit marie taft um
but you gotta let me finish while I tell you phase one.
And she's brought up on charges and has to appear in court.
Her official charge is for being an abominable cheat and imposter in
pretending to be delivered of several monstrous births.
She had that charge lying around in English law.
But it doesn't appear that any punishment
was handed down to her.
John Howard, the guy who was basically her promoter
and almost certainly, and on the whole thing,
was fined 800 pounds, which is over $100,000
in today's money.
Now that was a weird kickstarter.
You mean, you guys really have that as a win. I mean mean, I don't like, I feel like I would
pay that amount now to have a legitimate conversational purpose to ask somebody what she thought
the maximum dead rabbit capacity of her vagina was. Yeah. No, I thought we established this
wasn't a dougar store. Somebody give me 100 grand. Few other careers were ruined from this hoax.
The pamphlet I mentioned that St. Andre had published. It was called a short narrative
of an extraordinary delivery of rapids. He wanted to get it to press right away and he
published it on the 30th December, which was a few days before Tof's confession. Needless
to say, his star wasn't on the rise after that, bad timing.
9-11 birthday.
Douglas, one of the only people who knew it was a hoax from the start, decided to publish
a letter called, the Souterkin Decected, where he calls the theory, quote, a mere fiction
of your moberies brain and
what
so this was something of a sensation back then as i mentioned uh... so
once it was found out to be a hoax a bunch of writers satirized it and this
was that heyday upon so they had a little so a lot of the stuff is just really
delightful
mean how can you go wrong when the eighteenth century word for rabbit track is
prick
it's fucking just delightful
also do yourself a favor.
Look at the old-time illustrations on the Wikipedia page.
They're really a delight.
There's tons of really great, amazing drawings
of a woman lying down in rabbits just marching out
from under her dress.
It's fucking, that's seriously awesome.
One of the satirists was a ballad called The Discovery
or a squire turned ferret.
It opens with this verse.
Most true it is, I dare to say, ever since the days of Eve, the weakest woman sometimes
may, the wisest man deceive, as if somehow not knowing how the parts work and tricking
a bunch of gullible guys is the woman's fault.
Yeah, the wisest man is not in this story. Yeah, right.
Wisest man is not a grand title to hold
in ye old garbage hot.
That's true, like true.
True.
Yeah.
All right, Cecil, if you had to summarize
what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be?
It took three centuries to figure out
how these bunnies got in or some coyote painted
a giant vagina on a mountain face somewhere and they ran right through.
And are you ready for a quiz from the panel? Let's go. All right, Cecil. As I mentioned,
this is the actual origin of the famous rabbit from the hat trick, which of the following is a real variation on that joke.
A. In the early 1800s, grand mesmer hollyworth would bring women on stage and convince them
their newborn child was a rabbit.
What?
The German magician, Hofzinser of the 1920s, would put a rabbit in a hat and then change
it into a baby boy. Then can you read the poem when would put a rabbit in a hat and then change it into a baby boy.
Then can you imagine how it was a rabbit?
See, the English magicians, Barian Stewart, in their current live show produce a rabbit
from a naked woman's vagina on stage in front of everyone.
I've been England twice, I've missed this show.
Fuck.
Or D, Victorian magicians would make rabbits disappear from that
using a steam press
that crushed the rabbit they put in that
that
i'm gonna go with secret answer ee light pulls a toy plug out of his own ass
it's got to come to twenty twenty i think that's
that was never invited to do magic so they'll never know
uh... no right
or wrong maybe i don't know those
the answer is that it doesn't know how this format works
wait you made the other ones up i was sure that was all
it's all me too
it's just see
their current show
current barriens to work live show they bring up a naked lady they tell the story she lies on a gurney they bring up a dude
They go do you want to examine the hat?
He looks at the lady they go examine the gurney examines the gurney
Go you want to examine the hat again?
And he goes like yeah, I do and then they reach in
Front of her and produce a live white rabbit. I gotta go see the show.
Get woke.
All right, Cecil.
Oh, that means.
Not enough attention is paid to the children of poor Mary Toft.
What were her child's first words
upon coming into the world?
Hey, eh, what's up, Doc?
Yes.
That's it.
Just, eh.
You wanna go with, I'm gonna go with B.
I thought I saw a putty tattoo.
A putty tattoo.
It was right next to me up here.
It was next to me the whole time.
It's like, it was my womb mate.
Oh.
So wrong turn it albacurky, like none other.
I'll tell you that.
womb mate.
All right.
Cecil, today we heard your favorite story about people shoving animals inside themselves.
Which of the following is your second favorite in that collection of stories that you clearly
have? the keyster bunny he he who shamed roger rabbit
or c
carat bottom
uh...
well not in the shaming but i do love redhead so care about them all day
alright with nobody's trip to up yet see so but i think i got you here here
we go
what do you give to a woman who's giving birth to rabbits?
Okay, a lepiscural
Latin word for private B
Hydracotentale
See
Lagomorphine
Or D other hoppietz.
Hoppietz.
Hoppietz.
So good.
So good.
I got because I didn't need to know so good.
I'm going to go with secret answer E and abortion.
Oh, you didn't get it.
That's correct.
So good.
Got it.
All right, Cecil, you are the winner.
Okay. Why don't we go with Tom next week? Tom seems to like. That's good, I got it. All right, Cecil, you are the winner.
OK.
Why don't we go with Tom next week?
Tom seems to like, there's a lot of work to do.
There's a lot of work to do.
There's a lot of work to do.
These can be good.
Yeah.
Someone else is doing.
All right, well, for Cecil, Noah, Tom and Eli.
I'm Heath.
Thank you for hanging out with us today.
We'll be back next week.
And by then, Tom will be an expert on something else.
Between now and then, you can hear Tom and Cecil on cognitive dissonance, and you can
hear Eli, Noah, and myself on God awful movies, The Skating Atheist, and The Skeptocrat.
And if you don't hate freedom, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com
slash citation pod.
And if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes, connect with us on
social media, or take a look at the show notes, be sure to check out citationpod.com.
And that's 12! Great! Let's call some people, good work!
Oh, indeed, husband, wish had a! Hey, just real quick, um, Any chance this could backfire?
Oh, Tobias Bartholomew and Wright, you are such a wordy wart.
Yeah, no, no, it's cool, cool, cool, cool.
No, it's a stupid question.
Our last name is Enright.
I don't know who I am in this show.
It's a funny nightmare.
You know, you're the guy who ass eats chicken.
I said in this show, like I was referring like a character.
With your tiny wax, don't worry about it.
Don't think too hard.
you