Citation Needed - Operation Eagle Claw

Episode Date: April 24, 2024

Operation Eagle Claw was a failed operation by the United States Armed Forces ordered by U.S. President Jimmy Carter to attempt the rescue of 52 embassy staff held captive at the Embassy of the... United States, Tehran on 24 April 1980. The operation, one of Delta Force's first,[1] encountered many obstacles and failures and was subsequently aborted. Eight helicopters were sent to the first staging area called Desert One, but only five arrived in operational condition.[2] One had encountered hydraulic problems, another was caught in a sand storm, and the third showed signs of a cracked rotor blade. During the operational planning, it was decided that the mission would be aborted if fewer than six helicopters remained operational upon arrival at the Desert One site, despite only four being absolutely necessary.[2] In a move that is still discussed in military circles, the field commanders advised President Carter to abort the mission, which he did.[3]

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Starting point is 00:00:31 three audiobooks on the house. Sign up for your free trial at audiobooks.com slash podcast free today. That's audiobooks.com slash podcast F R E E. Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, a podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia, and pretend we're experts. Because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Heath, and I'll be commanding this Delta Force. You can call me Al-fa, and I'm joined by No-o-vember Whiskery, he likes cats, hates golf, and Hugtrot. Yeah, you would be amazed by how often Heath gives us permission to call him Alpha. Dominance.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I've never mastered the art of hating myself and how I spend my time enough to enjoy golfing. So that's what works for me. Alright. Cecil, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon or event are we going to be talking about today? Today we're going to be talking about Operation Eagle Claw. Okay. What was Operation Eagle Claw. It was both the first real mission of the Delta Force and also a total and utter fiasco.
Starting point is 00:02:09 The actual mission took place on April 24th, 1980, 44 years ago today. It was a mission- I like how you line stuff up. It's because I don't- cheers. It's because I don't do any work at a time. And then I'm like, what happened on this day? Oh my God, I gotta find something. It's because I don't do any work at a time and then I'm like, what happened on this day? Oh my God, I got to find something.
Starting point is 00:02:28 It was a mission. Tom, have you considered trying the what happened on this day? It was a mission to rescue hostages from Iran during the Iran hostage crisis. And the mission itself never actually made it within 200 miles of the targeted embassy. The US lost eight servicemen along with several military vehicles all while never engaging the enemy. Okay, but at least we killed a bunch of civilians, right? I don't want this episode to be a bummer. They lost vehicles without ever engaging the enemy? Were they just trying to figure out which buttons did what?
Starting point is 00:03:07 Yes! Spoiler! Spoiler! Okay. To start out, we need to do a little background. First let's talk about special forces and the creation of the Delta Force. So I'm sure you've heard of several special forces groups in the United States military. The Navy SEALs, the Marine Raiders, Army Airborne,
Starting point is 00:03:25 Army Rangers, Green Berets, etc. etc. I say etc. but there are like 50 and I only recognize those that I listed. Well, the Delta Force is also part of that group. They're basically a counter terrorist hostage rescue force that was created in 1977 quote after numerous well publicized terrorist incidents led the US government to develop a full-time counterterrorism unit and quote okay did we really need 50 separate dedicated squads it feels like we're just setting up movies and TV shows like franchise also how much did the Marine Raiders pay you to pretend that you recognize them? You know you made that list and you were like, I should do one for the Navy.
Starting point is 00:04:09 And the Navy was like, yeah, you should. Navy has the seals. You should do them. You should do Marine Raiders. I thought it was JSOC or something. Also, I'm with you Heath. 50 of them? The only way that makes sense is when you think that everyone you ever meet at the bar
Starting point is 00:04:21 that was former military, they were all 100% Special Forces. It's true, they were. They were. They were. So, yeah. First few years of Delta Force were a screening process where they made the recruits go through basic army hazing for Special Forces stuff.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Quote, the initial members of the unit were screened from volunteers and put through a specialized selection process in early 1978 involving a series of land navigation problems in mountainous terrain while carrying an increasing weight. The purpose was to test candidates endurance, stamina and willingness to endure and mental resolve. The first training course lasted from April to September 1978 end quote so what's the difference between endurance and willingness to make you Thank you gonna have to ask Wikipedia Fail you still have the willingness to
Starting point is 00:05:22 Type in that out. He's like I know the difference between the two of you nerds. It's like effort grade versus grade. Yeah exactly. IB score. You get the marine raiders participation trophy. Right. I have a weighted willingness to endure grade on two choruses. I don't have to endure my mom wrote a note so Literally true. I'm so much in my life it's crazy So when they refer to the course here I don't think they're saying that the Delta Force were out wandering with increasing weight on their backs with shitty maps for months but I could be wrong That's what it sounds like
Starting point is 00:06:01 I know it sounds like that but I could be wrong I could be wrong coincidentally the Delta Force was christened as mission ready on the day before the Iran hostage crisis. Okay. I'm sure Delta Force dudes would be happy to explain how much harder it was, but I'd like the training for our special forces to be fundamentally different than the thing I did for recreation in my thirties. Right? And I for one hope you're wrong. Cecil, I hope they did in fact wander with increasingly heavier weights for
Starting point is 00:06:30 four straight months, like Giles Corey Marine division, you know, that's, that's a good crucible joke. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Thank you. I breathe so hard through my nose. We go. What was the Iran hostage crisis?
Starting point is 00:06:51 Cecil? Oh, I'm glad you asked. Well, this hostage standoff between the United States and Iran took place on November 4th of 1979, but the contributing incidents happened before on the years leading up to it. As contributing incidents are what to do. Okay, all right. I actually wrote that differently. I realized that now. In 1953 in Iran there was a coup partly orchestrated by the CIA and MI6 to help the Shah of Iran seize power as an absolute monarch.
Starting point is 00:07:28 In 1979, the Shah came to the US to receive cancer treatments at Cornell, and the opposing party back in Iran took that opportunity to overthrow the government and install the Ayatollah Khomeini as the nation's leader. They demanded the US return the Shah for punishment and the US refused so they took over the US embassy taking 66 people captive. Okay, I'm sorry, but if you're gonna do a coup I don't think you have to pop out for snacks or whatever later And then expect everyone's gonna hold your seat until you get back like what do they think was gonna fucking happen, right? Just scooching in past your friends. What did I miss?
Starting point is 00:08:01 What the fuck could happen, right? Just scooching in past your friends, what did I miss? What the fuck is that? Jimmy Carter, the president at the time, had conflicting advice from his two advisors. He had a very different, they both had very different outlooks on how to retaliate. Brzezinski wanted to use military force immediately,
Starting point is 00:08:19 and Vance wanted to try to use diplomacy to remedy the situation. They would try both military action failing spectacularly and diplomacy finally working after over a year of hostage captivity The failure to get the hostage crisis resolved is also what a lot of people think led to Carter losing to Reagan Turning the USA into the wealth inequality trickle down wonderland that it is today Thanks, Carter Maybe stop building houses and learn to president you pussy
Starting point is 00:08:55 So let's get back to Delta Force After the Vietnam War there was not surprisingly very little faith in the military This meant that there was less will to have special ops and less money for this kind of military branch. This feels like post-hoc rationalization as to why the mission failed, but when I was researching this, this particular explanation came up a few times.
Starting point is 00:09:17 One interesting story about the Delta Force also came up when I was reading about this operation. President Bush the Elder, while he was VP, wanted to get a demonstration of the effectiveness of Delta Force, so they put him in a room, surrounded by mannequins with weapons, they shut the lights off and closed the door, and then Delta Force breached the room with flash bangs
Starting point is 00:09:39 and shot all the mannequins surrounding him in a mock rescue. Okay, I feel like that's nothing. Okay, if it was me instead of the Delta Force, I would have failed the mission, but like, not because the mannequins were quicker on the draw than me. I don't understand. It's a weird test. All right, guys, if you'll read your mission briefing, you'll see today we're going to put on a little show for the vice president.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Okay. If anybody was going to be disappointed, they didn't use live targets. Well, this mission was the first ever use of the Delta force. It was going to be a joint mission with all the military branches helping out. This is great in some ways because it's utilizing the resources from all across the United States military It also can be a big hurdle as egos collide and branches of the military vie for more responsibility And this mission was going to need to have pinpoint accuracy and go off without a hitch for it to work So the more moving pieces the harder it was going to be okay. Everybody has to stop yelling jurisdiction
Starting point is 00:10:44 the harder it was going to be. Okay, everybody has to stop yelling jurisdiction. Everybody's just yelling the word jurisdiction. We're getting nowhere. So let's talk about the framework for the actual mission. What was the plan? Well, the hostages were in two different locations. There were 63 hostages at the embassy complex, which was a few square blocks of the city of Tehran. The area was wooded and any of the parking lots nearby were filled with military vehicles so the helicopters couldn't land in them. The other three hostages were being held at the Foreign Ministry offices a few blocks away. These two breaches needed to be done simultaneously or the mission would probably fail. The only real place to land
Starting point is 00:11:19 helicopters was a large soccer stadium that was nearby essentially across the street. But getting helicopters to the embassy would be a lot harder than it might seem. Well, plus if your guys have to land in a soccer stadium, they're all going to fall down and pretend to be hurt on the way out. Yeah, it's funny that Operation Flop wasn't around. Yeah, actually that is what happened. The first hurdle in getting the helicopters for the mission was to decide how to get them there.
Starting point is 00:11:48 You can't just load them up and take them over without someone noticing. So they had to be partially disassembled, put in the lower level of an aircraft carrier, and then shipped over while the Navy whistled loudly and hoped no one looked. This would have been a lot easier during wartime, but this was one of those weird times in US history when we weren't at war with anyone. So they chose a kind of helicopter that would fold its blade down and get packed away. Okay, I'm honestly surprised we didn't just start a war with Armenia to like make it easier. Sir, it looks like they're preparing a helicopter near,. Wait, no, doesn't have a long blade. Must just be a bad boat.
Starting point is 00:12:27 Did I take it back? Some guy has to get a helicopter out of the factory by like sneaking the parts out one at a time and the pockets building it later. Got it one piece at a time. They all needed to do this entire mission at night, entirely with night vision goggles, no radio. So the pilots that they chose for this mission would have to be really top notch. They initially thought they would recruit some special forces pilots from Vietnam with
Starting point is 00:12:58 some experience flying like this, but the Navy was the one that was supplying the helicopters. So they wanted their airmen flying. So instead of having Air Force Special Forces guys flying a different helicopter, they went with airmen learning how to be Special Forces guys in a short time span. Well, damn it, they won't even have time to run with increasingly heavy day packs. No, I get it. I mean, the Vietnam guys aren't going to know how to fly over that many civilian areas without dropping some napalm, right? That's going to be... What are they...
Starting point is 00:13:33 Not on fire? How are they going to... Doesn't even make sense what you said. The helicopters also didn't have enough range for the mission. We didn't have any allies in the area that were willing to let us fly over from their airspace. Egypt offered, but it was actually much closer for the mission to start at the Gulf of Oman, which is basically the southern coast of Iran. But Tehran is in the northern portion of Iran, so these helicopters would have to fly about
Starting point is 00:14:00 three quarters of the entire north-south length of Iran then fly back which was impossible without refueling so the mission needed a place for them to refuel that was remote enough to not draw attention but close enough so they could get to Tehran and return without refueling again. They're just landing their helicopters at like some super rural Iranian BP stations. You fill up, I'll run in to get snacks, and if anyone asks, we are definitely not American Special Forces. Okay?
Starting point is 00:14:29 Spoilers. All right. So, they settled on a small strip of land 200 miles to the southeast of Tehran that they called Desert One. This isolated bit of desert was a dried up riverbed. It had one minor road that cut through it. The plan was to fly the helicopters from the Gulf in radio silence without any lights up to desert one where they would meet with several C-130s that were outfitted with huge bladder tanks inside the
Starting point is 00:14:56 cargo areas. These bladders were filled with helicopter fuel. They would refuel there then fly to desert two which is closer to Tehran Where they would hide for a day and then they would set out for Tehran the following night in trucks to rescue the hostages Okay, am I the only one pictured a helicopter sitting on a park bench reading a newspaper? Once they secured the hostages the helicopters would meet them at the soccer stadium and they would climb back in and fly to a nearby airport where the Armory Rangers had flown in and taken it over. And then they would be flown out on C-141 planes. All right.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Sounds like some white guys are about to put on some very problematic rubber masks for the impossible mission. We'll see how that goes after a quick break. Ten hut! Okay, gentlemen, at ease, take your seats. Yes sir! As you all know, we are planning a daring helicopter hostage rescue that will require pinpoint precision and perfect execution.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Let's hear some of these ideas for operational names. Operational names, sir? Yeah, you know, like, what will we call this for short? Oh, uh, oh, how about Eye of the Storm? Not bad, not bad, a little long. Let's just keep it to two words, uh, maybe animal related. Uh, okay, like, um, Operation Scorpion Tail. It has merit.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Just that, uh, scorpion's just kind of gross. Gross. How about Moosnuckle? Sorry, what? Operation Moosnuckle? I think that's something else. Yeah, man, I think that one's taken. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:17:00 No, it isn't. I'm looking through past operational names. I don't see it in here. No, it's not a past operational name it's definitely already slang for something yeah that's just let's not just but not do moose knuckle great what is it signed for okay well it's not slang for getting punched by a moose gentlemen gentlemen moose knuckle doesn't work anyway this is a desert operation oh okay fine What about camel toe? That's a thing too. Yeah, that's something else. What no, it's not you're just fucking with me man
Starting point is 00:17:31 Look major camel toe checks a lot of boxes It is two words uses a desert animal and also managed to be somewhat racially insensitive. But to my ears Doesn't sound menacing enough. Hmm How about? But to my ears, doesn't sound menacing enough. Oh, how about Eagle Claw? Ooh, I like that. That could work. What? You can't call it Eagle Claw?
Starting point is 00:17:51 That slang for an asshole pressed up against yoga pants fabric. Dude, there's something wrong with you, man. Ever tried reading while jogging, cooking, or even juggling flaming torches? Yeah, doesn't end well. But with audiobooks.com, you can conquer books without the circus act. Dive into over 450,000 titles, including more than 10,000 free ones.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Get hooked on a bestseller, find your next obsession, or finally read that classic you've been avoiding since high school. And here's the inside scoop. Sign up today for a free 30-day trial and snag your first three audiobooks on the house. Sign up for your free trial at audiobooks.com slash podcast free today. That's audiobooks.com slash podcast F-R-E-E. And we're back. We left off.
Starting point is 00:18:57 The plan for the mission was we go there and take the people. So, cut that one out. So actually the mission starts out okay. The eight RH-53D helicopters lift off from an aircraft carrier in the Gulf of Oman at dusk. They fly north into Iranian airspace. Around the same time, six planes, some filled with troops, others with fuel, leave from a small island in the Gulf and head north.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Now both of these contingents are headed for Desert One. The formation of the helicopters actually spots the airplanes above as they pass over on the way to the rendezvous. The airplanes on their way to Desert One encounter a Haboob. I think I'm saying that per, I don't know, but that's how it's spelled, Haboob. And it's a huge dust storm. So they send an encrypted message back to the helicopters, which the helicopters don't receive
Starting point is 00:19:55 and they fly straight into this dust storm. I feel like you're about to fly into Act Two of the Mummy is worth blowing radio silence, right? A lot of times. Well, and also, how dare they call it a Haboob to fly into Act 2 of the Mummy is worth blowing radio silence, right? Well, and also, how dare they call it a Haboob and then dare us to be culturally sensitive about it. Thank you. I feel like that's a test, right?
Starting point is 00:20:15 Like they're just setting a trap. They don't actually call it that. They just want to see who's on site. The planes fly into Desert One and they land. As they're landing they see some headlights. So as soon as the plane stops, they land on a couple of military vehicles and they try to stop the civilian vehicle. It's actually two civilian vehicles. It's a semi tractor trailer and a pickup. The semi however is not stopping. So the army rangers get out and they decide to escalate a tiny little bit and they pull out a shoulder-fired
Starting point is 00:20:47 Rocket and they blow up the truck. Well, they find that was a big jump. Yeah straight to that They find out at like a second after impact that this was a fuel truck that was riding through the desert And it was resisted Driver it's out and runs back and jumps in the pickup truck and they speed off. They're pursued by the military but they get away and the soldiers think that this was a black market fuel operation so they think there's little chance the people who fled would tell anybody. Yeah, they get there and they're like, really Larry? A bunch of American Delta force blew
Starting point is 00:21:22 up your truck with a rocket? Just say you left your keys in the cab again, man. All right, but beyond Iran is full of crooks. Why would they think that though? Probably a black market fuel dealer. That's what most of them are. To the Warnering Gasoline Minstrel Standard. Iranian stuff. Old gas dealers.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I'm sorry, Cecil, but the driver of the fuel truck, which was hit by a missile, got out of that truck and ran into another truck. You're right. OK, right. And we are not going to spend the entire episode about Iranian. It's like a Joe Carter. They wrote it right. Yeah, the tractor and it blew up or the trailer trailer trailer That's where he's at. He's in the trailer. No, he said trailer hit it and then the tractor I guess protected him
Starting point is 00:22:13 I don't know that's what they said smart man Here's the thing man either hits the fuel part or the listen there was probably a layer of silk over Thank you, Heath. There was silk there. I Over the thing. Thank you Heath. There was silk there. I Hope that's like that remember last week. Okay. I think the driver ran away the same way that our dogs all went to a farm Try to find out how he's running the blue lasers are just shooting right past his head. They can't hit him Nothing, they do. I'm checking right here. It says he said let's roll Question it. Okay. Fair. No, that makes sense. It's funny. My my dog actually did go to a form of state. That's so weird
Starting point is 00:23:06 Like I know a lot of people are like, nah, that's a lie. But mine did. As this giant fire is raging on the road, another set of lights comes up from the other direction. This time the soldiers shoot the engine block of the vehicle and it stops. Turns out this is a passenger bus that was traveling this road and it has 43 passengers on board. The landing forces have to take these people prisoner for the time being as well. So within a few minutes of the operation starting in earnest in a deserted section of the road,
Starting point is 00:23:38 mind you, they encountered two different groups of people have dozens of hostages and a gigantic fuel fire raging in the middle of the road. Guys, are we in Mad Max? This is going so badly. Right away. Okay, but at least the little responsibility goes towards the bus driver who saw the flaming oil truck and thought,
Starting point is 00:24:00 yep, no, that's the way I am headed. That is. Back at the helicopters, it's not going much better. This mission needs at least six helicopters to actually work. Any fewer and the mission has to be aborted. One of the helicopters, about two hours into the flight, gets a cracked rotor blade and has to land. Another lands, picks up the crew, and then they carry on with seven. Next, the huboob that the planes flew over smacks the helicopters right in the face like a tassel titty at a strip club.
Starting point is 00:24:36 And they have no visibility. A bunch of dust is getting into the machinery. And I guess they planned for dust, but not Hado boob levels of dust so right away things start going south another helicopter develops electrical problems has to turn around and head back they're down to the mission minimum in the air another helicopter develops a hydraulic problems but the vehicle soldiers on guys are we in final destination and that much? This is crazy. Hey fellas, how well do helicopters work? Because based on how we're doing, they feel real Victorian guy riding a bike off a platform into the water.
Starting point is 00:25:15 That's what I want to say right here. So there's one story about the helicopter flight that while it's flying through the storm, they had no instruments that were working properly. The navigators are doing their best with the maps they had, but the pilot knew there was a 6,000 foot mountain up ahead, right in their path. He asked the co-pilot when he should expect to see it, and the co-pilot responds,
Starting point is 00:25:37 oh, probably right about now. So he pulls up and as he does, the dust cloud starts to dissipate and they see the mountain that they were just about to crash into. Hey, Chris, that was really badass. Very cinematic. I would like more warming next time. A lot of it. More.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Building a moment. The six helicopters limp into Desert One and they land about an hour and a half past schedule. One of the helicopters with the hydraulic problems tries to fix the issue and the others start to refuel. While refueling, the rotor of the malfunctioning helicopter stops working. Furious, the commander of the Delta Force has to call the president to let him know
Starting point is 00:26:16 that they're down to five helicopters. The president asks that the mission can be completed with five and the pilots all agree that it can't and if they went through with it, they would be leaving some of the people behind. So Carter tells the Delta Force to pull the plug is one consolation is no American servicemen were hurt during the mission. Good Larry's like, well, actually I hit my head pretty hard during the Haboo. So we'll come on back to the White House and I'll give you a gentle kiss on the forehead.
Starting point is 00:26:48 I'm Jimmy Carter. Piece of shit. Jesus Christ. The troops abandoned the broken helicopter in what might be one of the most bizarre facts about this mission. They plan to leave in a broken down American helicopter, Soviet documents. And I have literally no idea why. But they wouldn't actually do this because this is where the C-130 hits the fan.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Alright guys, if we leave, I don't know, like a hammer and sickle in the chopper, like a to-go container of pierogies or something, we can tell at that point it was the Soviets trying to steal like double hostages, right? Double hostages. Absolutely. Yeah, of course. Okay. Who the fuck would fly around the country with a bunch of top secret stolen documents?
Starting point is 00:27:38 Right after one of these helicopters was refueled, it's given the green light to lift off. As it does, the ground crew that's directing it during this maneuver is blown back from the wind and the sand during takeoff. Pilot, mistaking the movement backward of the ground crew for him moving backward or forward, I don't know, one of those, he tried to counteract it and he started to move forward and he smacked the tail
Starting point is 00:28:03 of the refueling C-130. Come on! Now this, of course, causes a fire and an instant explosion. Several troops on the C-130 make it out safely, but eight do not. Guys, are we in final destination Mad Max and a fucking infomercial? What the fuck is happening? This is crazy. Meanwhile, at the White House, some general is like, Mr. President, I know it was a hard
Starting point is 00:28:28 decision to abandon the mission, but the lives you saved. Oh, one second. Checking my text messages. Never mind. You want to rethink that? You want to send them in? The bowling pins have been knocked over, if you know what I'm saying. I wonder if they did a headcower like, can we do it now?
Starting point is 00:28:42 We're down a few now. Yeah, I don't know. What do you say, Jimmy? We'll give it another college try. The commander decides to leave all the helicopters behind after the collision so as to not risk another accident and the issue is that they just can't destroy them because they're parked too close to the other airplanes. So they leave them intact on the ground and everyone piles in the airplanes and they fly away leaving the flaming wreckage of a completely failed mission abandoned in the desert.
Starting point is 00:29:13 But they honestly thought that Rube Goldberg shit was going to happen twice? I feel like the next guy to lift off that night was the least likely to bump into a nearby vehicle of any helicopter pilot in the history of Now of course the Iranians find out and they capture the abandoned helicopters great now, who do we send to rescue them? The Marine Raiders Finally Inside they find a ton of planning materials where they learn pretty much what the Delta Force was attempting.
Starting point is 00:29:51 So any subsequent mission would be foiled on the outset as the Iranians put into place special measures to prevent a rescue based on any of those plans. Also the CIA ground crew that was there in support of the mission in Tehran quietly closed up shop and started whistling and walking away very briskly. I feel like you don't take the plans with you at all, right? Or at least you take them when you go. Maybe. Yeah, probably. Well, they could have at least.
Starting point is 00:30:21 No, there wasn't room in the overhead. I don't know why. Look, they could have at least thrown those documents into one of the several enormous fires raging all around the ground. Most things are just on fire, actually. How are these not on fire? So while collecting the helicopters from Desert One, an Iranian Air Force jet, quote, patrolling the area thought that the American helicopters were about to fly and they fired at the remaining American equipment, killing Mohammed Montazar
Starting point is 00:30:52 Al-Kahim, end quote. Now this was the commander of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps who was investigating the scene. Oh, woof. Politically, this was something of a nail in the coffin of Carter's presidency. The hostages would go on to be released minutes after Reagan was sworn in. The hostages were not released because of any special forces mission. Instead we negotiated the Algiers Accords in January of 1981, which we would then breach
Starting point is 00:31:21 shortly after they went into effect. Alright Cecil, if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? This is somehow proof of concept for the Delta Force and they still exist. They're still around. Seriously, they're still real. With like Chuck Norris, Delta Force is real. That's a real thing.
Starting point is 00:31:43 And are you ready for the quiz? Let's do this. All right. Speaking of Chuck Norris, what should the movie based on Operation Eagle Claw be called? A. Delta farce. Obviously. B. Das Boob. C. Full Metal Jackoffs.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Nice. Or D. The Magnificent Seven. Or I had six. Oh no. Five. Five. Jesus Christ. Definitely. Nice or D the magnificent seven or I six Christ definitely about the helicopter season definitely definitely E all the above it was a all the above well done Isn't it weird that they didn't just do like 90% of the hostages with five helicopters wouldn't you just still want to do that? No Not with that, not with that group.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Not with that group. It's like voting for Jill Stein. What the fuck? Yeah. A great idea. See, so crazily American military interventions in the desert of the middle East have not gone well. A lesson we learned when. A, during this story in 1979.
Starting point is 00:32:47 B. In Iraq in 1991. C. In Iraq in 2011. D. In Afghanistan in 2021. E. Just kidding.
Starting point is 00:32:57 We haven't learned shit. E. It is E. Oh my goodness. Is it ever E? Ah, you got me. Oh my God. We haven't learned shit.
Starting point is 00:33:03 All right, Cecil, which of the following is a real thing that's also related to the hostage crisis? A, in the same year as Operation Eagle Claw, Canada came up with a plan to rescue six diplomats who worked at the embassy, and they pulled it off by pretending the diplomats were a Canadian film crew making a very bad sci-fi movie and they snuck past the Iranian Revolutionary Guard at the airport in Tehran successfully.
Starting point is 00:33:31 B. That story got made into the movie Argo which won Best Picture and the movie pretended that the hero was the CIA with a tiny bit of help from Canada. C. It was actually the exact opposite with Canada coming up with pretty much the entire plan. D, this is the most Canadian thing that's ever happened. The US military used a special ops team called the Delta Force
Starting point is 00:33:57 with a plan for a giant smash and grab. And they failed in spectacular fashion. And Canada was just like, yeah, we're going to walk some fake nerds right through the Toronto airport and they did it. E. We should put Canada in charge of the US military from now on. Right? Oh yeah, A.
Starting point is 00:34:13 It's all the above, come on. Of course it is. That is correct. Alright, Cecil. What's the best theme tune for Operation Eagle Claw? A. I ran so far away. That's away. B. Dust in the Wind. Or C. The Benny Hill music.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Definitely C. The Benny Hill music. Oh, I'm afraid it's D. All of the above. Oh, all at the same time. Alright, Eli, you stumped him. You're the winner. All right. I would like Tom to do an essay next week. All right. Okay. Well, for Tom, Noah, Cecil, and Eli, I'm Heath.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week. And Tom, be an expert on something else. Between now and then, you can listen to Cognizant Dissonance, Lawful Assembly, Talking Ship, Dear Old Dads, God of Movement, The Skating Atheist, The Skeptocrat, and D&D Minus. And if you'd like to help us navigate late stage capitalism, it's very difficult. And maybe you enjoy yourself a shenanigan or a jeep or an antik. There might be some bonus-tular content of that sort for you.
Starting point is 00:35:22 So you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. If that sounds interesting. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, listen to past episodes, connect us on social media or take a look at show notes, check out citation pod.com. All right then soldier. What did you want to show it? Yeah, man. It's super late. It's the Carbon Hydroxide Open Demolition Z-Rotor. You can blow up a tank a mile away with ammo you can make yourself. That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:35:54 This will change warfare forever. It sure will. The Chode is going to lead to a freer, safer world. Chode. Okay, he's doing it on purpose at this point, right? You love podcasts. The stories, the laughs, the unexpected turns. But when this episode ends, the silence starts. Not anymore.
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