Citation Needed - PS General Slocum / SS Eastland

Episode Date: September 13, 2017

The PS General Slocum was a passenger steamboat built in Brooklyn, New York, in 1891. During her service history, she was involved in a number of mishaps, including multiple groundings and collisions. On June 15, 1904, the General Slocum caught fire and sank in the East River of New York City.[1] At the time of the accident, she was on a chartered run carrying members of St. Mark's Evangelical Lutheran Church(German Americans from Little Germany, Manhattan) to a church picnic. An estimated 1,021 of the 1,342 people on board died. The General Slocum disaster was the New York area's worst disaster in terms of loss of life until the September 11, 2001 attacks. It is the worst maritime disaster in the city's history, and the second worst maritime disaster on United States waterways.[2] The events surrounding the General Slocum fire were explored in a number of books, plays, and movies.

I mean I read the books and honestly it's not even good for you fucking crazy. I know I know I know that's what everyone tells me But I couldn't even get through the last one. Okay. Well, I certainly agree that he needs a batter All aboard Editor he like what are you doing? Ah just getting ready for this week's episode. It's all about boats. Where did you get the boat? Ah, heat's family has one. It turns out they're the kind of poor

that has enough money for boats, but not enough money for someone else to drive it. Isn't that fun? Hey, did we hit some? All right. God, I quit the boat. I quit the boat. Oh, heat.

Oh. Okay, look, I know this is going to sound like a crazy question, but our studio is like It's like in the middle of Chicago. How did you get a boat? Ha! I told you guys. I told Noah he couldn't build a ramp that would make this possible and he loves a good ramp challenge Do you love a good ramp challenge classic Noah? Okay, well our studio is destroyed and I'm pretty sure you killed the entire Zumba class next door. Okay, so pros and cons. Thank you Tom, best friend Tom. Positive. I thought Cecil was your best friend. Yeah, but I'm mad at him right now. Wasn't excited about my boat. Oh hello, I didn't see you there. Welcome to the site is immediate No podcast where we choose the subject

I'm gonna see a lot of go about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now And unless we go buck wild and decided to double the work which happens more often than I expect which is once so far anyway I'm no I'm gonna be staring this ship to shore this week, but I can't do it alone. It's gonna take the whole crew. So first up, welcome the first maids, Tom and he... Hey, first mate beats sloppy seconds every time. I actually like sloppy seconds though. What?

The moisture is a nice change of pace as well. Oh God. Once in a while. And of course, also joining us tonight are Seaman, Eli and Cecil. Pale, milky, hard to get off your hands. I get it. I get it. I have two similarities to Seaman.

I look good in a cravat and in order to get me out of it, you have to use cold water. All right. So before we weigh anchor and head out to certain doom, we want to thank all the people that give the barnacles of our back sides, our patrons. If you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around until the end of the show. And with that out of the way, tell us Eli, what person placed in concept phenomenon or event will we be talking about today? Today Cecil will be giving us a two-fer, two separate boat disasters, the PS General

Slokum and the SS Eastland. All right, and Cecil, you read two whole Wikipedia articles on these subjects. Are you ready to boom your rudder into our jibbing? That's the nicest anyone's ever asked, actually. How often do you can ask that? As a seamen, you'd be surprised. Keep the rud runner there. I'll move the gibbing towards the right. All right, so I guess tell us about the General Scrodom and Shinaeeston or whatever All right, so we're doing two so let's start out with the PS General Slokum. The ship was built in

So let's start out with the PS General Slocum. The ship was built in 1891 and it was a passenger steamboat that ran around on the East River in New York. The boat was a pretty good-sized vessel Coming in at 235 feet long. That's 72 meters by the way. Thank you. 37 feet wide 11.4 meters to the 10th. All right. I'll give it to you. All right, so is pretty good size here, like a pity inspired penis compliment or was it actually a pretty good size? Oh, wait, wait, are we like supposed to be turning down? Pity penis compliment. No, no, no, no.

Okay, solid. Yeah, because that's confusing. People will understand. Some people hear that a lot. It's good compliment. We were to say, like say it was a bad thing. It's weird. Right?

It's unclear. So I tell you how heavy the boat was, but Heath would totally get mad at me. So I'll just say it was like the earth in the Tiko Brahe episode. Pretty fucking heavy. There you go. That's actually the caption for every picture of me with a girlfriend. Pretty fucking heavy, pretty fucking heavy. Yeah.

Been punching above my weight for years or below or whatever it is. Yeah. Good times. Yeah. Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. He stopped punching your girlfriends. Just. No, pictures.

I'm saying, no, I'm saying, no, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, I'm saying no, I'm saying no, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Oh, my God. So the ship was named after a Civil War general, one of the winning ones. Yeah, okay, real quick, Eli, I'll give you my car if you get this. Can you name a general for the North in the Civil War, any general in the North Civil War? Okay. Uh, Jebediah, no snapchat. So close. Was it? uh jabidaya probably no snapchat so close

was it elyseh shows up to the battle of disappears fifty some the north elyseh why wouldn't you read off the the script later the one you wrote jabidaya snapchat chat. It was congressman Henry Warner slo com already Jesus see that sorry sorry so the ship congressman Henry Warner's

So the ship had a lot of smaller mishaps that led up to the horrendous one we're going to be talking about later four months after the slowcomat launched at Ranna Ground, three years later, and he slopes, whoo! We'll make three years later, it hit a sand bar with 4700 passengers on board. It hit it hard enough that the generator went out. Then the next month during a storm, the slowcomer Ranna Ground off Coney Island, probably trying to get a hot dog. Finally, in late 1894, the slowcoma collided with another ship on the East River.

Jesus. This is starting to sound like the seventh fleet. Look, I'm, I'm not superstitious, but can we just decide the ship is fucking cursed? Call it a death boat and sink it, like sink it without people. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not done yet, though, by the way, just in 18 No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart.

No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart.

No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart.

No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can't see the heart. No, you can control of this locom. Yeah, I honestly can't imagine what else you would expect to be booze crews of anarchists. This is what they're doing. This is what they're doing. This is exactly the fuck. So the crew had to see that coming. The crew. All time he fought him, I guess.

And then maintain control of the ship. And when it a doctor, please took 17 men into custody. Years were boxed. I want to point out that this is only of note to Cecil because he hasn't ridden the Staten Island ferry on a Friday. This is just now they're just like, oh my God, it's the Jersey fucking

and it's just go hide in the bathroom. And by the way, what was the Jersey militia gonna like do with the boat? Right. Like a market behind a convenience store and smoke cigarettes like. Take a pirate ferry over to a Navy yard, start bumping battleships in the shoulder to start a fight. That just seems like the second most likely possibility. So okay So, okay, so we're those all the pre-disasters, Cecil. Oh, I'm not done yet.

Jesus. And it's final mini-disaster before the big one. In 1902, the Slokom Rana ground while carrying 400 passengers. The boat was unable to be freed. So the passengers had to stay there and overnight in the boat. Jesus Christ. It's like this boat pissed off a gypsy or something. She just brushes its hull, swimmer.

Racist. Everyone knows the Romani can't swim. That's a weird thing to say, Eli. The real victims of the Holocaust, defensive. Just because you drown a Romani woman doesn't mean they can't swim. That's not how that works. Can they swim at under? How was she supposed to swim? Well, not after.

That's float, not swim, different. So in 1904, the slowcom was chartered by the St. Mark's Evangelical Lutheran Church for 350 bucks. It had been something that the church had did every year for the last 17 years. There were over 1400 passengers on the boat, mostly women and children, and it was headed to a picnic site in Eaton's Nack Long Island. Mostly women and children, huh? It was probably just going to be a parallel parking accident. Okay. Because women are bad drivers. That's the children are bad drivers, right? Because that's the,

because no, this story took place in 1904. It's okay for him to make that joke. Yeah. Yeah. Tom's gonna get fired from Google and be famous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, hey Tom, I got some advice. If you want to prove you're not a sexist, go in a coat leader's show right after you get fired by a man of sexist. That way everyone knows. So as the boat passes East 90th Street, a fire broke out in the lamproom. The lamp rick. Colonel mustard in the lamp room with the fire. It's just mustard salt. People suspect that it was a cigarette or a match that started the blaze. Usually. So in the lamp room, there was some straw, oily rags and lamp oil that caught fire. Why? Why the fuck do people have oily rack? Multiple oily rack. I need to wipe this table, but I don't want to oil an entire rag.

That's a whole thing. I need to save a collection of these. What? This next sentence, Sir Wikipedia explains very concisely how the fire spread. It was reported in several places, quote, including a paint locker filled with flammable liquids and a cap and filled with gasoline and quote. Jesus Christ. All right.

So look, 2020 hindsight, but maybe, maybe a lamp room filled with all the results of things that can catch on fire on the $10,000 pyramid was not a good idea. Uh, thermite, uh, uh, uh, loose gun powder, uh, the liquid covering Houston, uh, uh, uh, things on this boat. Things on this boat. You guys are all just mad because Cecil didn't pick the fire extinguisher factory for his yes. And say probably also what a cloud on fire. I'm just.

All right. So the onboard recreation of the Texas golf coast is blazing away. How long does it take to ruin the party here? A 12 year old child did tell the captain, but the captain didn't believe him. 10 minutes later when provided the empirical evidence necessary, he changed his mind. Kid comes back on fire. See? evidence. A true skeptic Bravo.

Bravo. So the ships back then didn't really have a lot of rigorous safety. Oh, no, no, shit. See, paint walker filled with flammable liquids and cabin filled with gasoline above. The passengers here are doomed from the start. The fire hoses on this boat are old, really old, and they had rotting. So when they tried to put out the fire, the hoses literally fell apart.

Oh, he turned to the guy next to you. You're like, all right, you got it, man. This is kind of funny, right? Not funny, huh? But like, try to shoot the fire extinguisher. Just a flag pops out, it says splash. No. The crew on this boat had never even practiced the fire drill.

And the lifeboats were so tied up as to be inaccessible. It's claimed that they were painted and wired in place. The light preservers were seriously only called that because they resembled something like it in shape. They were so old that like the hoses, they fell apart. The light preservers set on the deck for 13 years subjected to the elements. Here's another gruesome quote from the article. Quote, desperate mothers placed life jackets on their children and toss them into the water. Only to watch in horror as their children sank instead of floating. Okay, I have a problem with this though, because it's the word children, right?

Like after the first kid hits the ocean floor, maybe you'll hook the rest of them into the deep, but they disappear. So you don't know, you don't know they're in there. They just, well, you try to make a pile. If you want to make a pile, you've got to keep, maybe one can stand on all the other than shoulders. Oh, man. You just need one really big trench coat

and the kids will be fine. Um, okay, so, okay, but I have, I have a question. Cause I feel like elements or no, a life preserver will at least float right? I mean like snow and rain are water I don't I don't feel like wind erosion is a big factor So what what the fuck were they subjecting these life jackets to I mean to be fair This was the olden days. No, I don't know if you know this. I know everything about boats life jackets back then They were just balloons. Oh, I see. There's just a kid standing on the burning ship staring alternately between the water and the balloon giraffe

That's supposed to be his life presenter like fuck Okay, but regardless of like the erosion or whatever happened to these jackets Why would the kids actively sink what yeah, but it of like the erosion or whatever happened to these jackets, why would the kids actively sink? What would happen? Like did they have bronze novelty only display jackets on a deck? Spoilers, spoilers. Back then they did have regulations on how much cork you had to have in a life vest.

They decided that it should weigh a certain amount. So to get around this, to get around this, the manufacturer of the life preservers just put iron bars inside the cork to meet the man. The fact that like, yeah, great. Good plan. We'll save moment what Most foolish thing I've ever heard It gets even better because the cork This is this is powdered cork So when they jumped in the water the canvas on the life preserver just disintegrated and then the cork just floated away

And it left these heavy campuses filled with circular iron is filled with circular iron and they just fucking plotted to the bottom of the desk. Hey, but at least the market was free. Am I right? Mariah, we could be great again. Mom, why does it say dental life jacket? I'm sorry, I got the wrong ones.

Says radian, it should not. It's lead. This contains lead, this this Jack this life jacket Well with these manufactured by fucking Acme corporation At this point with a fuck with the whole ship a road runner cartoon I was like captain just me me Good So the people also did not a swim back then and they were wearing heavy wool.

So when they jumped in, the lead preserver or not, they just sunk. People didn't know how to, that's what says in article. Are you saying that we discovered swimming sometime after 19 or four? I guess. I don't know. Did you know that's racist? Yes. Wait, is that racist?

I don't know. I feel like if you think that's racist, then maybe you're the racist. I Wait, you just feel like racist. I feel like you switched that on me. You totally reversed it. I'm gonna trick me. Tom trick me. And I didn't we edit edit. Noah, what year did the first guy swim? And what was that daylight? Where the guy walked out in the ocean and you were like, oh, he's sacrificing himself to Mother C. And then he came back. I feel fucking great.

It's like you got it. Guys, you got to try this. Move your arms and legs in there. It's holy shit. Or just hold still so much better than drowning. I think it probably has. Has to do with polio. That's just a guess.

I don't know. Take off all your iron clothes before you. I think it probably has acid in polio. That's just a guess. I don't know. Take off all your iron clothes before you jump. I see there an iron lawn on iron preserver. I don't know. Are they both iron preservers? I don't know. Anyway, so the captain, undeterred by this boat being on fire at this point.

There's just like one of those junk guys who come to log after the garbage pickup. It's just like dives down. Get out of the door. I don't think they're using this one anymore. We'll just take this back. It's recyclable. The captain undeterred by his boat being on fire at this point decides not to run a ground

or stop it on landing nearby. And he fan the flames as it sailed into the headwind. That's Jesus Christ. Later he argued that he didn't want to burn any buildings on the show. Well, plus he wasn't no pussy. Yeah. Oh, so I get that. Nobody wants that conversation with all state.

Like, oh, so they drove a giant flaming boat into your house. Yes. Stop going back to that. This is like 1904. Somebody on that call definitely makes a joke about the model of the boat being a Jewish lightning. There's no way. That's a model of both the lightning. I didn't say it was the people on the call.

I feel like you guys abandoned me there. People on the call said that. Sorry, we weren't on the deep cut for those boat jokes. This little laser lightning. It's one of the models. Fuck you guys. You guys are anti-Semitic. Yeah, Eli.

You talk about killing a Jew on your birthday all the time. It's all I want. It's like after the claims of Justin just comes out, he's like, I'm not sure what to check on the form that does the thinking claim tonight. I don't know. I don't know. Okay. So I'm going to go out on a limb here, Cecil.

Everybody drowns. They're not all so lucky. No, I hope she's. Yeah. Here's another great way to die on the slope. I'm quote many died when the floors of the overloaded boat collapsed. Others were battered by the still turning the paddles as they tried to escape in the water or over the sides. And quote, okay, the same guy as the hoses is like, come on, Alan battered by paddles. You don't think that's a little funny.

Alan. Alan. Alan. Okay, what do Alan wake up? That's the sinking kids. They went straight down. Come on, straight down. Did you see the looks?

You can't even skip them. Come on. I got two bounces off the little one, but that's the best I can do. You know, spin around first. You hold up by the know, spin around first. You hold up by the ankles and spin around for like a baby. Discus. Exactly.

Oh, babies of discus is if you try hard. I love this boat. Like I like the options, you know, it's like it, we're not like one of those all inclusive death boats that like lures you into a cheap price. Is it only one way to die. So the estimated death toll was a thousand twenty one of the thirteen hundred and forty two people on board. The captain was the only person convicted for criminal negligence.

He was sentenced to ten years and he spent three and a half of it in syncing before being paroled. Uh, later he would be pardoned by the Taffed Administration. Huh. Well, that sounds hauntingly topical. I guess we still have one more boat to sink, but before we sit right back and hear a tale of another fateful trip, we're going to think, quick break for a segment we like to call apropos of nothing.

I'm sorry, like is a strong word, but that's what we call it. We... Be indifferent. Yeah, let's see. And make man yearn for the days. Sorry, Captain. Where do you want these cans of gasoline? Ah, put them in a lamp room, yes, cut ofy dog. Aye, aye, Captain. I'm here to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn to How about the lamp room? I, I sir lamp room. Ah, what a man could set his sail in.

Ah, Daddy, I want to play juggle these matches, but the other passengers are all being mean to me. The lamp room, my boy. The motherfucking lamp room. Okay, Daddy. Set sail and see the world. Fuck, y'all! Uh, all right now, if we's gonna rent this year boat for our church picnic, we gotta make sure first and foremost that it's gonna be safe for everybody.

So you ever been in any kind of accident? Psh, accident. Anyway, that'll be $350. And if you want the special bonus. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'll be like, you didn't answer Baragat's question. Well, I assure you my good, sir. We don't have a perfectly safety record for nothing. So, uh, you have a perfect safety record? No, no, I said don't, but we haven't not had an accident in years.

Wait, I'm confused. How long has it been since the last accident go ahead? Oh, time intervals, hundreds of them, my friend. Hundreds. Is, is, is that a, are those like months? They all like months. I like you smart. This one, best friends.

Well, we'll take it. Yeah. months I like you smart. This one best friends. Well, they'll take it. Yeah. Yeah. So, Cecil, we've only had one disaster unless Count Tom's life choices. And we were promised to. I'm here.

Jesus. I'm in the fucking show with you. Fuck. Fuck. All right, so we did a disaster in New York. Why not balance it out with something a little closer to home? Oh, okay. So Keith and you are working at this toy company, right?

I know. Maybe disaster a little less close to my home, maybe close to her. Seasles. Not to be outdone, Chicago wanted to get in the burgeoning boat disaster market. So in 1902, a steamship called the SS Eastland was built. The boat had some flaws in its design. It would become top heavy when people were on the upper deck and mass. Okay, if this boat sinks after everybody takes a shit on the upper deck, I'm going to be super happy about this story. Me too. Right? I feel like they're going to take it a page from the Weebles boat factory.

Right. I feel like they're going to take it a page from the weeble's boat factory. Be all right. Yeah, when the weeble has more technology in it than your boat. The passenger boat is fine as long as there aren't a bunch of people on it. Is that what we're saying? What? Top of it. Yeah. Under the boat. Like, they can, so long as they're very well spaced.

No games of red rover on the boat. In 1903, the Eastland had one of these problems when it had so many people on the upper deck that it listed filling it partly with water in a portent of things to come. Important things to come. Okay, question. When you studied allegedly Shakespeare, what language was it in? The Italian.

Shakespirian. I think that's Spanish. So one final amusing factoid about the Eastland in 1903, it was traveling to Michigan from Chicago. Yeah, intentionally traveling to Michigan is pretty amusing. It's funny. Six of the crew refused to continue working because as they claimed, they did not receive potatoes for a meal.

I just want to say before you go on, I'm with these guys. All right. I like to fuck guys. All right. Right? Let's fuck that. My people. These men were arrested at gunpoint and the other workers basically picked up the slack and when they docked, the six men were charged with mutiny. Yeah.

Little did they know how easily those Chicagoans would have been won by a handful of popping corn. People love your popping corn. Or a hollowed out ta out tonton full of marinara sauce. Is your mom in town? Speaking of which heath, are you gonna finish yours? Yeah, your mom, your mom, your mom. I am. That's not the point. I am.

She said she never finishes. I guess that's what I'm saying. I finish every time. We're a bit record. Just finished again. So on July 24th in 1915, the Eastland and a few other boats were chartered to take a company's employees to a picnic in Michigan. The company was Western Electric. This was, as the article notes, a very big deal to these workers as they didn't

have holidays off. So it says it was, quote, a major event in their lives. On cheese. So at least we don't have to feel sorry for them when they drown or get paddle battered to death, right? I mean, it's way better than what they had. God, this was probably on their vision board. Hey, cool vision board. What's that next to the Nobel Prize? It's a hot dog with ants crawling on it. It's what I'm hoping to eat at a picnic that I won't die on my way to.

I hope it works out. So the world had learned a little bit about boat safety and the intervening years, specifically after the Titanic had sunk three years earlier. So now there was a regulation about how many lifeboats you had to have. Okay, nothing about like anything else, nothing about better breaks or only boating through liquid water. No, you fight, it's need more bandits.

It feels like you tackle a few other issues. They're not getting any of the source. The addition of these, these lifeboats, there's a problem, of course. And these boats are strapped to the top of an already top heavy boat with a predilection for listing. Yeah, just a boat pouring you a dinner. Well, Spielberg has made a ton of great films. E.T. is pretty obvious. People know him from Shindler's list, but he also made Jurassic Park and Jaws. He'll forget he made jaws, right? Because they consider him. Listen, yeah, listen, Pratt election for this thing.

You knew Pratt election, but not listening. I sure didn't. I'll take clean. So that morning, the passengers began boarding and in 40 minutes, the boat had reached capacity. It had 2,572 passengers on board. The boat started listing. The crew tried to use ballast water to write the ship on its port side, but then a number of passengers rushed to the port side and the boat just literally fell off. We fuck with this. Still at port.

Let the boat hadn't even boated. Yeah, it's just, it's just a platform not to drown on right now. And how does a boat just like fall over? Had we not developed Sippy Cup technology yet. So now is there any, do we know why everybody rushed over to the one side or so there's nothing from the wiki page, but I was on an architectural tour here in Chicago nerd and the tour and the tour guy told a story that I don't know if it's true or not, but I want to summarize. She said that the people on the deck of the Eastland all ran over to one side because there was a clown performing.

No, when she told the story, she implied that the people rushed to see the clown, but I like to think that they were all running away from Pennywise. I think that's a funner story. So yeah, no, I've done clown work. That is definitely bullshit. That is a whole shit story. Two yeah, I've done clown work that is definitely bullshit. Two vital things. One, everybody picture Noah as a clown. I actually find the clear of smoking. It's a stupid-ass question to ask. Well, nope, because when you smoke, they can see it in the balloon animal later. It looks cool.

Two, I am actually convinced by this, because in 1914, pretty much everyone was like today six-year-old, so it makes sense. But regardless, the boats like taken on water and people are like, yay, big shoes. I'll be on the other side. I feel like even a six year old will be like, okay, maybe I'll calm the fuck down until the boat isn't sideways. Then clown. Yes, absolutely clown.

After. After. Well, I don't know. Is there juggling? Like if you're juggling it's worth it. I just not after the listing. So a tip-silver. And since it was a cold morning, a lot of people were already below deck.

Well, these people are trapped. And they're also crushed by heavy furniture, bookcases, pianos. The ship did this play dead thing only 20 feet from the warf. And there was a nearby vessel that offered a help right away, but 844 people still died.

Jesus. How does it sink that fast? I'd like to know how many Jewish people called out of work that day. Oh, okay. It's cool. Just asking questions. Just asking questions.

Thank you, Eli. Look, I'm sorry, but like, I'm having a hard time being said, but then you can't swim 20 fucking feet. Okay, fine. If you're crushed by the piano, if you're that guy, I'll give you an out. But I feel like otherwise, you just fucking late. It's 20 feet. You're fucking five feet long, right? Like, had they invented

swimming at this point, though, I feel like this is. This is early. This is pretty fun. Yeah, no, I did. So there was so many dead that they had to create makeshift morgues all over the city. The building that is now the bar ex caliber and Harpo studios where Oprah records her shows were both used in this way. And you get a cadaver and you get a cadaver. Back in the dark. Look at your seat.

It's out of wedger mudder there. Not that hard. You're not that hard to pull back. That's not happening either location. I hard to pull back. That's how it's happening to either location. I just want to say, it's true. Still trying to beat that record. Yeah, weirdly braggie, Cecil, just, oh, where Oprah films are shows.

Yeah, no, they're point for New York in the New York versus Chicago. I'm just trying to throw that out. It's kind of people keeping score. It's kind of a dick move to continue keeping score at this point. It's like mercy rule now. Like the little series added in a mercy rule. Let's just call it. All right. So one of the people scheduled to ride the boat was George Hallis, the founder

of Chicago of the Chicago Bears. He was late that morning and he arrived after the boat had already capsized, like Jay Cutler. Who said? Fun fact, inventor of cutlery. No, no, no. It is under achieving Trump supporting douchebag, yes, that only has a job because the dolphins think Colin Kaepernick's a terrorist also, yes, not the inventor of cutlery. So the story was highly publicized in the media, and one journalist gives it a really interesting first hand account. Quote, as I watched in disoriented stoop of faction,

a steamer as large as an ocean liner slowly turned over on its side as though I were a whale going to take a nap. I didn't believe a huge steamer had done this before my eyes, lash to a duck, and perfectly calm water, in excellent weather, with no explosion no fire nothing I thought I had gone crazy I feel like this comment misrepresent normal whale behavior I don't think that's a thing but I feel that guy though right that moment is just like

all right the boxer on the wall well fuck I only have two wishes and now I have to use this power well. Yeah, I gotta go back to the whale thing. Like, is that simile supposed to add to the air? Yeah, I mean, somehow, like, like we can all just flash back now to our mental repository of napping whales. And like, oh, yes, I see it so clearly in my mind's eye now. Well, I feel like there's something we're not being told.

Blubber doesn't burn that hot. That's what I'm saying. There's something that's happening. So Carl Sandberg, who's a popular poet, well, as popular as a poet can be, I guess, wrote articles about it, accusing the company and regulators of ignoring safety concerns. He also wrote a poem about it called the Eastland, which is I got something people did before we had sex for fun or. Hey, hey, hey, poets have sex for fun. By themselves.

Guys, a poem is an echo asking a shadow to dance. Nobody else with a, my favorite Carl Sandberg quote based joke. Do I have to do all the heavy comedic lifting on the show guys? I'll have the dressing on the side. Carl Sagan. He probably said that at some point. Different park car. No, I got this fuck land.

I'm on a boat, mother fucker, Andy Sandberg. It's actually it's actually pronounced Andy Sandberg. No, and speaking of boats, segue, crush it, so you were saying. So there's a grand jury and they indicted three officers and the president of the steamship company for manslaughter. The defense council was Clarence Darrow. Cousin of mine. That's true. Interesting. The court did not extradite these people to Michigan for trial because they felt that the evidence was weak, quote, barely a centilla of proof. All right. So Cecil, if you had to summarize what you've

learned in one sentence, what would it be? The only people that like New York live in rural Pennsylvania. Because we can't afford New York. Are you prepared to face a gauntlet of questions from the panel? I am as ready as a turn of the century life preserver. All right, let's get ready to sick. All right, Cecil. So obviously when stupid people drown, it's generally good for eugenics. Speaking of eugenics, which of the following

is the best boat name for people who use hashtags like mega and maga? Were we speaking of eugenics? I don't feel like that's a good, nobody's doing that, but you. I brought us right to eugenics. I said when student people drown, it's generally good for eugenics, speaking of eugenics.

That was natural, that's a weird question by Tom. Okay. So which of the following is the best boat name for people who use hashtags like mega and maga? Is it A, the SS, SS? That's so good. It's so good. Nazi boat.

Is it B, hood over heels? KKK, heels like waves. There's a lot of layers to that one. Is it C, the Amistad? That's racist. Make Alabama great again. D, the Alt Starbird. That's fucking brilliant.

That's my the starboard is my favorite these today. I'm going to go with the SSS. That is correct. It was the SSS. All right. Cecil, are you ready? I am.

Why was Cecil allowed to do two topics even though we said we could only do one per show? Is it A, he edits the show. B, I, M, A, Fatty, Pants. I think the audience could choose my answer for me there. So ever since the heartbreaking story of the Titanic's band playing through the entire disaster, every sinking boat has tried to outdo the last one with better drowning music. So what is generally considered the best drowning song?

Is it a drown-eyed girl? Drown-eyed girl. B, when you're feeling blue. Sinatra one. C, you've lost that boyant feeling. D, I'm no longer on the boat. Or is it E? Aqualon.

Jethro Hall. Jethro Hall. Jethro Hall is the Jethro Hall. Thank you. Is what I said everybody. Hall. Jethro Hall is good. This is Clay. Creedence Clearwater Revival on that one.

Now, have you ever seen the rain? That would have been a good one. Um, the boat catches on fire. It's smoke on the water. It's got to be. It's got to be aqua long by Jethro Hall. That's brilliant. It is. That is correct. Obviously the one that he had a better pun on than me, though I wrote mine out in the first place, most definitely the right answer. Damn it.

All right. Dying on a boat is, I just learned today about more than just drowning. Where's some other ways you can die on a boat other than being crushed by a piano or catching on fire or being paddled to death like a naughty secretary. Okay. Hey, flying fish somehow. Be maybe a horse. See, Ziggurat. I fuck seriously. Iurat. Deats. A fuck seriously. I don't even know. None of this should have possibly happened. People were just stupid back that. I'm going to go and see a ziggurat.

It is a flying fish somehow. I'm sorry. I don't. We're not sure, but it could. It's in the water. Yeah. Definitely. And then out of the water, it's very surprising.

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. More likely than a ziggurat anyway, I feel like there was a clue there. I just like the word ziggurat. That's why it's in there. I'm peering at you, right? Nobody, it's delicious. It's got to know that.

I'm not good at that one. I'm picturing a giant pyramid just hopping up out of the water like a shark eating semi-el-jaction. I was just thinking that's a pyramid made out of those, like, those kids full of life jackets. Check it on the way in there. think it's a pyramid made out of those like those kids full of life jackets. Check it on the way in there. Oh, so that it was. Yeah, they were all cheerleaders.

But you said it was a first. So that means that you were the first to stump our expert in this totally spontaneously scoring system that we've created. Yeah. It just so happens that it always ends up being the next guy in order. So you get to take over hosting next week, Tom, and you get to decide who has to learn new shit. All right.

Well, that's great. I haven't read any incomprehensible gibberish lately. Let's pick Eli. John Bene. No, no, no. And after that, Ed and I'll toss it over to Sarah for last week's Twitter answer and this week's Twitter question. Thanks Noah. Last week's assignment was to write a high coup for the lost causers to help them rewrite history through poetry.

We had so many great answers it was hard to choose just one, so here are two of our favorites. The first was from Shy Not Shy on Twitter. Hey dude, I need slaves. Slaves? Just kidding, I mean friends. Brown friends work for free. The next is from Cindy Hartman Lynch on Twitter who wrote, I thought the winners got to write the history books, apparently not. Thanks to everyone for submitting high coups. This week's question is, what was the name of the apocryphal clown that supposedly tipped the Eastland over? And what was his act? Just retweet or Facebook share this episode

with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner back to you Noah. All right, well, thank you Sarah and for Cecil Heath Eli and Tom. I'm Noah Luzon's thank you for hanging out with us today. We're going to be back next week's winner back to you Noah. All right, well, thank you Sarah and for Cecil Heath, Eli and Tom. I'm Noah Luzon's thank you for hanging out with us today. We're going to be back next week and by then Eli will be an expert on some notes between now and then check out the shows that Eli Heath and I produced the skeptic crack got off of movies in the skating atheist and you can check out Tom and Cecil's other show cognitive dissonance as well.

If you have time after all our shows, you can do that one last. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you may a burps a donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes, be sure to check out citation pod dot com. Are you still mad about the boat thing? Cecil, are you still mad about the boat thing?

Mr. Nipples says don't be sad. You'll get a brand new studio real soon. Don't do Mr. Nipples. I do not want to talk to Mr. Nipples. Oh. Mr. Nipples says do not want to talk to Mr. Nipples. Oh. Mr. Nipples says don't be sad. I'm gonna call you a new studio. Are you soon?

I'm gonna call you Thomas Lavin. Thomas Lavin, I can't do it. Thomas Lavin, Tom. I gotta look away. Tom. I'm gonna look away. I'm gonna look away. I'm gonna look away. I'm gonna look away. Go away.

Alright, be quiet time. Gotta be quiet. Gotta be quiet. Don't do Mr. Nipples. I do not want to talk to Mr. Nipples. Fuck. Oh, amazing. you