Citation Needed - Seaworld

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

SeaWorld is an American theme park chain with headquarters in Orlando, Florida. It is a proprietor of marine mammal parks, oceanariums, animal theme parks, and rehabilitation centers owned by SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment (one park will be owned and operated by Miral under a license). The parks feature orcas, sea lion, and dolphin shows and zoological displays featuring various other marine animals.

Hello and welcome to Citation Youth, a podcast where you choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Cecil and I'll be running this circus this week but I'll need my monkeys. I couldn't get Mickey, Davey, Michael and Peter so I'll have to settle for Heath, Tom, Eli and Noah. That's a boomer show. I'm a daydream scape.

I feel like I saw it. And I'm really more of a sea monkey, Cecil, in that I'm a daydream scape. But yeah, I feel like so. Daydream scape. And I'm really more of a sea monkey, Cecil, in that I'm something of a novelty. It seems like a better IT in theory than in practice. So, yeah. Well, for whatever it's worth, at least we evolved from filthy monkey men, right?

Yeah. I spelled that with two E's in the notes. I'm down with the boomer jokes. Patrons, without you, our terrible cramp conditions would be a cubicle where we made code calls to sell fake thumbs and souped up hacky sacks. If you'd like to join the ranks of people. You're souped down hacky sacks.

I'm posting this in the sand. Tune down hacky sacks. Hacky sacks would be nitrous in it. If you'd like to. Bura! You'd like to join the ranks of people who prevent telemarketers from existing. Be sure to stick around until the end of the show. And with that all the way, tell us Noah, what person would ever choose Eli to do an essay?

Yeah, if we followed the show's formula, it would have been you. So that's why you don't follow the show's fuck formula. Two-shack. That's okay. All right. So it says here, we're going to talk about SeaWorld. That's why you don't follow the show's fuck formula. Two share. That's okay. All right. So it says here we're going to talk about SeaWorld. So Eli, you're ready to say literally

nothing factual for 30 minutes. It is. In fact, my turn to do an essay. That's makes me so, so, yeah. All right. So tell us about your version of SeaWorld. So the legions of folks who listen to our show might not know this, but we started out as skeptics. Yes, long before Noah's book deals, Tom's award-winning sitcom Honey I Broke the Kids, and he's now nationwide, Burn a Book Club, we used to make our living debunking the dumb, ridiculing the ridiculous and appending assholery. Attaching stuff to assholes is confusing there. I feel like you were going for maybe upending or something.

Maybe he's thinking about that time he shit so hard his appendix came out. The time he put the pro in pro labs. Ah, see, I ran out of big words. But asshalling assholery, whatever. Oh, right there. See? Be a giver. Be a giver. Help me. So much. Help me. But I'll admit our previous targets were a bit easier, right? Homoeopathy, seeing your dead child in heaven,

short, or worthy, easy targets of our durations. But today, yes, I want to talk about one of the biggest failures of skepticism in American history, a failure that almost no average American knows about and it's all the fault of a bunch of fish, love and hippies. I'm talking of course about SeaWorld. I feel like the failures of skepticism in American history deserve their own tier list.

Yeah. And it all starts in the S tier above A for us in America. We didn't get like a whole new reign. American exceptionalism. Koreans. Like we're the only ones in the world series. Exactly. But first things first.

SeaWorld was the brainchild of four UCLA grad students. Milton C. Shed, Ken Norris, David DeMont and George Millay. And originally their hope was for it to be an underwater restaurant that included a marine life show. But when they learned that underwater restaurants were impossible, they settled on just seals and shit

and opened in San Diego's newly constructed Mission Bay in 1964. Oh, okay. Anybody who tells you you can't operate a restaurant underwater has clearly never seen Manhattan Ritz. And for the record listeners are at least 11 of these so-called impossible underwater restaurants. You can book reservations now. Not in 1964, there were, Tom. Impossible. Didn't have the technology.'s a strong word, Eli. It's like they may not have a Truscan mirror, damn it. Not yet.

It's not impossible. By all accounts, SeaWorld, when it opened, fucking sucked. Okay? When it opened, it had, quote, a few dolphins, sea lions, six attractions, and 22 acres, end quote. Tickets were $2.25 for adults, $1.25 for kids aged 12 to 17, and only 60 cents for kids under 12. The park opened under the name SeaWorld, two words, but eventually got rid of the space between the words to avoid confusion with another

park named SeaWorld in Australia, which, fun fact, is why the street that goes past the park is still named SeaWorldDrive, with a space in between. Okay, good clarification. I was fucking lost for a second. Got it. A whole paragraph on the use or non-use of the space between words in a title. Tell me you have a bachelor in the arts without telling me you have a bachelor in the arts.

And I know what you're thinking. Eli, dolphins, sea lions, where are the whales? When I think sea world, I think whales. Well, don't get ahead of me. Sea world started out as a dolphin show that took place in an enclosed area of Mission Bay. Yeah, I actually tried doing it in the unenclosed spaces of Mission Bay, but the dolphins just swam away and sure. Yeah, that's not as good. Yeah. A separate stadium would eventually- Why is that guy whistling? They're not coming back. There's all the fish out there. You're one of fish. You understand they have all of them now. A separate stadium would eventually

be built in 1971 to ensure that the dolphins lived in a quote filtered environment. Okay, that's just a nice way of saying they were living in poison until then, right? Yeah, it was 1971. After birth, the mom would have a cigarette and then give it drag to the baby. We had different ideas on what a filtered environment was. Right, yeah, no, we wouldn't get around to taking as bestos out of our houses for another 18-15 years. I have trouble feeling too sorry for the dolphins. But Flipper was trying to tell us. But poison or no.

Somebody living in Flint, Michigan listening to this right now like, Oh, check your privilege. Roommate comes in the room. What's up? You listen to citation needed again? Not now. Yeah. The dolphin, the roommate's a dolphin. I forgot to say that.

No. Otherwise, it's just a person entering the room. Ignore me. See, so fix that in bus. No. But continue now. Go, go, go. But poison or no, the original dolphin lagoon would turn into a venue for acrobatic shows,

including the classic Muscle Beach show and one of the first running Cirque du Soleil shows in the country. Cirque du Le Meur. The stadium still hosts the acrobatic show Cirque Electric during the summertime as part of the Electric Ocean, which I'm sure is almost as absurdist and disturbing as whatever the fuck, the Muscle Beach show. I feel like the Electric Ocean show

should just be a bunch of dead marine like floating upside down on the surface, right? But the electric eels like, yes, now's my time to shine, baby. But that's not all. They also had the Theater of the Sea, a 160,000-gallon rectangular aquarium with seats on all four sides. The aquarium housed a few dolphins, and divers would put on underwater shows, which, according to BehindTheThrills.com, only the best sources for you listener.

Well, when paired with an exciting musical score and dramatic lighting made for an unforgettable experience, and quote, I guess we'll have to take their word for it. Okay, I would love to see that. If the dolphins were treated well, that sounds adorable, right? Yeah, sure. Theater, they're doing like Shakespeare or whatever.

German. So the to be or not two B. There it is. I was trying to find it. There it is. So, the Theater of the Sea also had commerce and dolphins, otherwise known as skunk or panda dolphins, making SeaWorld San Diego one of the few aquariums in history to display the Red List endangered species. You ready for an ominous as fuck couple of sentences?

Quote, in 1997, the dolphins would be moved to the backstage pools as the theater of the sea would be demolished to make Shipwreck Rapids, a river rapids ride still in existence today. Continuing the quote, Shipwreck Rapids is of course located in the Shipwreck Island area of the park, which is themed as a South Pacific Island, where many ships and their crews have been marooned. The four fictional stranded ships are the implausible, the RMS Royal Star, Holy Mackerel, and Dreamboat 2. The Theater of the Sea was exactly located, and I love this so much, where the dining tables by Shipwreck Reef Cafe are today. And I won't. Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. A shipwreck themed cafe? What are they? They serve your own urine and the flesh of your less fortunate companions there? Jesus. Uh, worse as you're about to learn. So, Eli, you ask, were there sponsorships? Was there merch?

You bet your sweet asses there was. While Disney was cuddling up to those frozen juice peddlers over at Dolce World, scored a sweet partnership with Hawaiian Punch and created the Hawaiian Punch Village, an island-themed area in which specialty tropical drinks with names like Hawaiian punch village, an island themed area in which specialty tropical drinks with names like Hawaiian punch red, Hawaiian punch yellow, and the green dolphin were served for just 55 cents a pop. He's saying it was 55 cents to punch a dolphin. That's what he's saying. And for a dollar, you could do the reverse dunk tank. You get three throws. I feel like that's coming up.

Given the trajectory, how horrible this place is. Yeah. And I know what you're thinking. Ooh, Eli, it sounds like Hawaiian Punch Village might have verged on the tasteless. So let's step right over that verge into another original attraction of SeaWorld, the Japanese Village.

Another quote from, yeah, yeah, another quote from behind the thrills here, quote, the Japanese Village aimed to bring Americans to a land where they'd never been before and experienced the culture of another country. The main attraction was a large saltwater pool which held performances by Japanese pearl divers. Park guests would purchase a tin from the nearby store

and a traditionally dressed diver would go to the bottom of the pool, grab an oyster, and drop the pearl into the tin." And folks, I have seen pictures of this place. I put the least offensive one in our notes and they are rough. Okay, this is the least I guess that makes it. Honestly, this is the least I guess that makes it. Like honestly, this is way less offensive than I was picturing when you said the Japanese

village of SeaWorld. Yeah, I know that they're not diving in kimonos and samurai armor is downright progressive for the 70s. Right. Yes. To be clear, what they had in the water were dolphins and Japanese people. Okay, it's called Hiroshima. I think Hiroshima is. Ohoshima. I think we should leave.

Oh, no. I quit the SeaWorld. That's as good as the episode gets, everybody. If you want to turn it off now, Hiroshima, that's the peak. We reached the top of the mountain. But like it or not, underwater breakfast at Triton's made a lot of money.

And so did SeaWorld. However, lame, and more than 400,000 guests visited in the first 12 months alone. SeaWorld would go on to build parks in Orlando, Florida, that's the one you've heard of, San Antonio, Texas, Abu Dhabi, and Aurora, Ohio. The children's book publisher, Harkcourt Brace Jovanovich would buy the company in 1976, and Hyzer Bush, yes the the beer company bought the company from them in 1989 do you kids want to see a dolphin catch a beer from the Bud Light power cannon?

Weird business choice. I mean I Nice I mean, I get your jokes. He's so but yeah, I would is that's on the table right now? I mean, I get your jokes, Cecil, but yeah, I would, is that still on the table? Right, no, I guess. Yeah. So, in July of 2008, Anheuser-Busch was purchased by Belgian-Brazilian brewer Inbev. And in 2009, the combined AB Inbev sold its Bush Entertainment Division to the Blackstone Group, which, if you're not familiar, are the bad guys that your stupid uncle imagines

Hillary Clinton to be. Very nice people, good tippers. The company was renamed SeaWorld Parks and Entertainment in December 2009. I did magic for them. And in 2013, Blackstone, who tipped very well and were very nice to me, sold 37 percent of that company in an initial public offering. But if you want to know why, you're going to have to stick around for the end of this story. Well, while we confiscate Eli's notes to make sure he doesn't have any other ethnic worlds, he'd like to describe. We're going to take a quick break. Oh

Dude you got to see this next exhibit. I just I still can't believe you brought me here I don't want this one's gonna make it worthwhile trust me so excited for this one. Yeah, this one is awesome Oh, true Right, they have a French guy in here. Sorry, they've got a human being in a cage here? Oh my god, dude, can we just not do this? Do what? They've got a guy in a cage. That's what you just said. Okay, settle down. First of all, he's French. He's not a guy.

Thank you. Second, he's in an enclosure and maybe and maybe just maybe he loves it in there. No, I didn't pass that see No, no, I do not see look I get that we can't understand him because it's different language But like he's very Obviously unhappy look at him. See you play les emois. I'll see you see he loves it Look give it give him some of the bread Look see yeah, see how he eats the bread the burger the baguette. Yeah, he's just hungry. So eat my god Oh my god. I knew you were gonna do this. I eat Jamaican babies. Is it is that bad? Is that bad, huh?

Yes, wow Really serious question Jesus look we have no idea whether or not this dude would be dead if he wasn't here. Okay? Do you want him to die? Exactly. Yeah. Right. You hear how that's nothing, right?

Well, you just said that's nothing. I'm done. I am done. You can stay here and try to free the French guy. I'm not letting you ruin my day. Yeah. Yeah, let's go. Spoil, sport.

We're in my day. Yeah! Yeah, let's go. Spoil Sport. I think maybe Zécoaco is a simple and effective question. Dude, you gotta pick a lane. Okay. And we're back when we left off. SeaWorld was running the second most racially offensive theme park in Orlando. Pop 5 at least. What's next, Eli? All right. What happened next, Cecil, was Orcas orcas killer whales sham to the motherfucking ooh

Orcas and SeaWorld are Synonymous they're so closely tied that until fairly recently pin in that an orca was in their fucking logo Because there had been dolphin and seal shows at circuses and aquariums forever hell You could pay a nickel to fuck a walrus when Cecil and Noah were kids. But whale shows? Whale shows were new. And just like their stars, they were huge. So when Eli says whale shows, don't think donkey shows. It's a completely different concept. A long time listeners will remember from other episodes that if dolphins are involved, it's actually not that different of a concept. That's right. That's a good point. So the whales at SeaWorld live in a 5.8 million US gallon tank, which Wikipedia

thinks will be more understandable if I tell you it's equivalent to nine Olympic sized swimming pools, in case you're intimately familiar with those. How many tea spots? I want this in tea spots. Each of them are known as Shamu Stadium. Shamu was the name of the first killer whale brought to SeaWorld San Diego in the 1960s from the Seattle Marine Aquarium

and is now used as a stage name for killer whales in performances at SeaWorld Parks. Currently, SeaWorld houses 19 killer whales in its three parts. I don't wanna get into the arguments for or against whales in captivity because one, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. And two, I think they're passionate, good faith experts on both sides of said argument. And what those experts agree on is that people like me need to shut the fuck up.

And I know you're going to do that for the first time. I am. I'm going to shut the fuck up. Well, I kind of.. Well, I'm kind of No, but not about their expertise. I think they'll be slow motion. No, he's slow motion. Yeah And I want to admit upfront that I know that there are people out there who will think I'm doing some great injustice by not Diving into that controversy, but those people can kiss my holistically vegan ass. That's right, you carnist fucks. Send your emails to your local Red Lobster. I do want to talk about the public perception of whales because that's really going to matter to what happens next.

For the record, none of the listeners eat whale. Okay, I feel like, I just, I feel like that that entitles everyone to talk some shit here. Whatever much shit you want to talk. I bet we have a listener that eats whale. I'm not willing to. I'm certain of it. No, you're no, that's fair. Okay. So you see, through most of history, the common perception of whales was that they were really

big, really dangerous fish. Oh, what's that? What's that? Technically, they're mammals. Save it for trivia night, Charles Darwin. It looked like a big fish and it was scary. That's what we knew but then in 1993 the movie

Free willy came out and a child molester sang a song about friendship Every single person in America was like those big fish have souls and they go to heaven when they died Which was great for SeaWorld That is until it wasn't. Uh, I mean, if I remember the resolution of free Willy, the movie was about freeing Willy from captivity. So that might not be a win for SeaWorld. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That real actor whale that played Free Willy got released and and released and died of pneumonia right after that. Holy shit, really? Oh, yeah, that's kind of sad.

Right in his trailer, it was terrible. Yeah. He did get the Free Willsiac episode of South though, and that's funny stuff because of Free Willy. Pete, you probably missed it, but I said, Natalie, woo! Oh, no, no, no, I got you. I got you. I heard that. That's false.

That's false. That actress there was. That was really, I was doing a bit to like pretend I heard. No, you were doing a funny joke, but I thought I could. Just throw that one in there and we can let the folks Enter 2013's Blackfish a documentary so full of shit I who watch Christian movies for a living and have read my own essays on this podcast was like damn That's too much line. I

Thought you're gonna do a whale voice with Christopher Walken voice at the same time to get it But like I'm gonna need that. I don't even know what I mean. It's a whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa So blackfish tells the story of Tilly come an orca at SeaWorld who was responsible for the deaths of three people Including a trainer named Dawn Brand show Side note here killer whales do in, in fact, kill people, right? Like they're in the name. You'd think that would be kind of obvious, but like it's worth pointing out. They kill people in the wild.

They kill people in captivity. And whatever your opinions are on whales and captivity, they do it because they're big stupid fish, right? Your goldfish would kill you if it could as well because it's a fish. That's what fish do they kill stuff and kill That's their whole thing. Yeah, the gold fish to-do list and killed killing what they can and checking out that little treasure chest That blows bubbles and then immediately forget Well and streaming an impossibly long shit behind them like the Roadrunners I don't like how much I have in common with Goldfish based on those two a bit.

I just to be clear, they helped head lasso teach lessons, which is good. But like I said, as a nation, we were pretty sure that Orcas composed poetry in their spare time and Blackfish, I shit you not, proposed that whales like Tillic Tilly come were their words not mine Psychologically destroyed by captivity and had become again their words Psychotic, okay. I feel like you're saying that's impossible. That seems plausible to me the psychotic well, right? Like just a narwhal in a cage whittling its tusk with a shiv to be even sharper like that Based on the story of seWorld that you're telling. Possibly.

So, moreover, they claim that SeaWorld covered up or misled folks about Tilikum's behavior, which put future victims at risk. All right, I think I'm on Heath's side, dude. In defense of the world, I was at SeaWorld for like, kind of four hours before I was psychologically destroyed and started contemplating how I was like, I get it, I get it.

How many Olympic-sized swimming pools did you have? That's the one. Measure it in teaspoons. So, look, to list all the lies that Blackfish tells would be tiresome and exhausting because the movie is 83 minutes long and they fucking pack bullshit into an impressive amount of it. But I'm going to aim for some of the biggest ones So first of all the film depicts a killer whale collection in Washington state that occurred almost 40 years before the film came out and Between the dramatic music and the camera filters. I'm amazed it doesn't end with you know One of the orcas bending the fence at Auschwitz with its new powers The sequence leaves viewers with three false impressions.

Damn, Nido. Mag. But the sequence leaves viewers with three false impressions. One, that SeaWorld continues to collect whales from the wild today. Two, that Tillicum himself was collected by SeaWorld. And three, that the collections done four decades ago were illegal. Now, none of that is true, right? SeaWorld doesn't collect killer whales in the wild and has not done so for over 35 years. Tilikum wasn't collected by us and the collections four decades ago were conducted

in compliance with federal laws pursuant to federally issued permits at the time. Collected by us? Are you SeaWorld's lawyer? You have to tell us if you're SeaWorld's lawyer. That sounded crazy. On the topic of separation, the film highlights two separations. In one instance involving a whale named Takara, the film leaves you with the impression that she was a calf when she was separated. In fact, Takara was 12 years old when she was moved. In the second involving a whale named Kalina,

the film misleadingly shows footage of a calf that is only days old. Kalina was moved when she was four and a half years old because she was disruptive to her mother and other whales. What the fuck is happening? You sound like Greg Abbott doing a PSA about the beautiful ice-tent. Did a whale thing happen to you? What's going on? Say there I was. You beat me to it. I was going to say there I was ziplining over the tanks. They can't

jump that high. They promised me. But to be clear, SeaWorld does not separate killer whale moms and calves. And in the rare occurrences that they do move whales among their parks, they do so in order to, quote, maintain a healthy social structure, or in layman's terms, to keep the big fish from fucking killing each other. Okay, but, but both of those are the reason, like, that we used to justify redlining. So I'll just cut, just color me skeptical all the way. Fuckin' hell. So, secondly, the film uses several animal rights activists who they claim to be experts who just are not expert, right? These scientists include Howard Garrett, Laurie Marino, and Ken Balk.

A fucking fish scientist named Marino. What are we gonna fucking comic book? Thank you. Yeah. Good friends with Madam Web. So Mr. Garrett, along with the cast members Samantha Bang and Carol Ray joined with Peter in a previously filed lawsuit against SeaWorld. In this lawsuit, they equated SeaWorld's work with Killer Whales as slavery under the 13th Amendment.

Peter, you always say one too many things. This is a great example. Like, I think I was with you about the ethics of Whales. And then you were like, okay, so you know, African American people. Nope. nope, you gotta shop. Never say you're not your last thing. Whatever your last thing. And we got a higher heath as a group to just be like, and stop talking, I think we do it.

All right, finally, and perhaps ickiest of all, the film straight up lies about the death of Don Branchow, who they claim is what drove them to make the film. Quote, In the opening sequence, the film misleadingly cobbles together separate pieces of innocuous training and performance footage synced with the actual 911 calls to mislead the audience into believing it is viewing the actual footage of Miss Branco swimming with telecom prior

to the fatal incident. In fact, the opening sequence does not depict either Ms. Branco or Tilikum or an attack of any kind. From the date Tilikum arrived at SeaWorld, no one was allowed to swim in the water with Tilikum and Ms. Branco never did so. Purely for shock value, the film includes a recording of an EMT technician subsequently proved to be mistaken suggesting that Tillicombe maliciously swallowed Miss Franco's arm during the incident. This is false, end quote. He was later quoted as saying, I didn't want a wing, I wanted a leg.

Oh, yeah. You see. All right, but like, but how does swallowing the arm make it any worse? Right? Like I spit it back up so it's okay. He gave it back. This is this like Bill Clinton talking about how he didn't inhale.

Made it worse. Yeah. Yeah. So like I said, there are a bunch of other lies in the movie, some of which are a lot more subtle, some of which you can argue, but that did not matter to the American people. So like Tom seeing a computer, people lost their motherfucking minds and SeaWorld bore the brunt of their eye. All right.

All right. Look, I don't object to seeing the computer, Eli. I object to the computer seeing me back. That's the. So SeaWorld tried a pushback campaign, right? They created several debunking websites. They published articles. And in at least one instance, they tried to fudge an online poll about their own popularity.

But it was too late. SeaWorld announced afterwards that it had suffered a $15.9 million loss. Ooh, or in SeaWorld merch terms, that is, see seven gift store hoodies. Yeah. That's not right. So at first, CEO at the time, Jim Atchison, tried to blame the loss on high ticket prices. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, too much revenue.

That's why we lost money. Yeah, exactly. That and poor weather. But by August of 2015, SeaWorld announced a 3% drop in revenue and an 84% drop in net income for the second quarter of 2015, when compared to the previous year. And these losses are definitely wild underestimates. How do I know? Well, in 2018, SeaWorld and former CEO James Atchison, remember him, agreed to pay over $5 million to settle federal charges that the company hid from investors the negative impact that Blackfish had on the business. As part of the indictment, according to the Securities and Exchange Commission, Atchison

had sold SeaWorld stock in the first quarter of 2014 in order to hide the loss in revenue. So even with their CEO dumping stock to keep prices high, they saw tremendous losses. There it is. Eli had SeaWorld stock and he wrote an episode about it. Lots of people worry about the captive whales, but the real victim is the concept

of fiduciary responsibility. Well, the end of stockholders like you. Yes. Now, I know what you're thinking. Eli, big deal. Some giant mega corporation theme park lost money. Who cares? Well, ironically, there are a lot of people who argue that Blackfish may have done more harm to see life with their movie than hell.

Even if they hadn't lied to do it. SeaWorld is one of, if not the, largest animal rescue centers in the world for marine life. And all that money has paid for over 40,000 total rescues, as well as one of the only 247, 365 rescue centers in the world. Okay, so when Eli said he wasn't gonna get into the arguments for or against, he meant for. Ha ha ha ha ha. Even more ironically, rescue and care of orcas is even more affected. As you probably know, SeaWorld stopped its orcas shows

in 2015 and so the business behind orca rescue and training just stopped existing. And as you can imagine, this has hurt Orca rescue efforts all across the world. And look, I couldn't find anyone willing to put exact numbers to it. Orca extinction warnings grow more and more dire. And there are very few people with the money or resources to help them. All right. Well, if you had to summarize, you learned your one sentence. What would it be?

Let's really hope they can crowdfund their war against billionaire yachts. There you go. All right. Are you ready for the quiz? Yes. All right, Eli, which of the following is the best podcast about whales? A. Citation needed. Yeah. GAM did that one earlier. Whatever. C. Pod Save America.

Nice. Or D. My favorite Shemurder. Yeah. Gotta be my favorite Shemurder. That is correct. Well done. All right, Eli, what was the name of the ride where Cecil and Noah could pay a nickel to fucking aquatic animal?

What? Hey, seal the deal. B, stuff in a puffin. C, balls to the walrus. Yes! Excellent. D, porpoise play. Porpoise play.

Porpoise play. Oh! Porpoise play. Karen, I think it was play. Or piss play. Oh. Piss play. Oh, Cecil did you write this? No, I did. I have no idea what you're talking about. No, I don't know what you're talking about.

They were great. They were for anyone's picking. I picked. Tom, you want to take D one more time, though? Cecil, I think we want you to take D one more time. Or piss play. There you go. Or piss.

Or piss. I wrote this. Can we touch up his makeup I wrote All right balls to the walrus it is balls I will check with Cecil Cecil. What do you think it's poor piss place? All right Yeah, right I have a question for you like what do orcas generally yell before attacking rich people boats? Hey, ready your yacht here. We come Be excellent, sorry to barge in on you like this

See my favorite show my favorite show murder That's such a good fun Oh my god. Yeah, right or D. You knew we'd get you schooner Here we come yes, that is that is correct Yeah, wow Eli you're my boss week. I win. I will do another essay We're gonna have Noah do next week's essay. All right. Well for Eli Heath Tom and Noah I'm Cecil. Thank you need for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week and by then Noah Will be an expert on something else between now

And then you can listen to a multitude of our other shows on various podcast platforms, and if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash citationpod, where you can leave us a five-star review everywhere you can. If you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media, or check the show notes to be sure to check out citationpod.com. And let's give it up for our star of the show, Francois! Well, see, he loves it. Yeah, okay, maybe he loves it.

And dem moi! And dem moi, you too, buddy. And dem moi.