Citation Needed - Spite Houses

Episode Date: May 20, 2020

A spite house is a building constructed or substantially modified to irritate neighbors or any party with land stakes. Because long-term occupation is not the primary purpose of these hous...es, they frequently sport strange and impractical structures. Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 So wait, why are we recording at Tom's house this week? I don't know, Cecil said it was important. All right, is this it? Are we here? I mean, I think so. What's, hey guys. Hey Cecil, what, yeah, what's going on in Tom's front yard?
Starting point is 00:00:17 What is that? Yeah, you know, okay, so this one's on me. The topic this week is Spite Houses and you know how much Noah loves Spite. Yeah. He really does. He really does. It's kind of his thing.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Anyway, anyway, I didn't think of it till I sent around this week's topic and, well, this is the result here, you know. Yeah. The problem with it. Yeah, I see that. I mean, it could be worse though. Honestly, all of Noah's vengeance is considered. This one's pretty tame.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Yeah, but yeah, you didn't let me finish. So, we didn't. Well, I mean, you guys know Noah. We built the house on top of Tom. Yeah, I'll go get the shovels. He did. Yeah, that's a lot of time. It's true. Needed. The pod. That's a little much. Hello and welcome to Citation needed the pod That's a little Change things up We some freshness is the relationship at low and welcome to Citation needed pod gastro we choose a subject read a single article about it on the wikipedia Cut boring This is the internet We choose a subject, read a single article about it on the Wikipedia. Cut, boring, same thing as always. This is the internet, and that's how it works now.
Starting point is 00:01:48 I'm Eli Bosnick, and I'll be executing this vengeance, but I'll need some co-conspirators. First up, two men for whom vengeance is too little too late. Cecil and Noah. Well, I know you serve this up for me, but vengeance is best served old, so... Exactly. You know, that's why I find it's easier to just get revenge in advance. I don't think that's say everybody the prevenge.
Starting point is 00:02:14 I don't know. Prevenge. We're going. And also joining us tonight, two men who don't care about the vengeance as long as they get served a cold dish. But do you mean me and Tom? Are we the one? Yeah, yeah, I'm Andy.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Cool. He's the devil. Yeah. And Eli's just trying to get me to say John Bene Ramsey, but I'm not gonna do it. Absolutely not. No, I'm not taking the thing. You know, I like my revenge potluck style.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Just a sloppy mess. Everyone regrets when it's all over. It's, sure, I like my sex. Before we begin tonight, I'd like to take a second to thank our patrons. Without your financial support, Noah wouldn't now make significantly more money and be more famous than the guy who fired him at Christmas. And if you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around till the end of the show.
Starting point is 00:03:07 And with that out of the way, tell us, Heath, what person-place concept thing phenomenon or event? We'll be talking about today. Ha-ha! I'm so happy about this. This is one of my favorite topics. We're gonna be talking about... ...speite houses. And Cecil, you found out about this to prove it wasn't just your idea.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Are you ready to represent in your community? I am the least spiteful person on this cast, and if you doubt me, I will fucking cut you. Okay. So tell us Cecil, what is a spite house? Okay. So I'm sure we've all been unnaturally angry at other people. It's natural, Cecil, it's totally natural. It's really natural.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Well, maybe the way you do it. Okay. Some of us are in a constant state of anger. Really, the people that I'm going to talk about today took that anger, distilled it into 150 proof grudge alcohol and then served it cold with a twist of pettiness. So what I'm saying is today we are talking about protest voters. Oh, what?
Starting point is 00:04:13 One in the same heath, one in the same. Look, I'm not saying that I love every single person in this essay, but I am saying that I belong to exactly one Facebook. All right, there's a whole list of these. Let's start in Massachusetts, a town called Marblehead. In 1716, Thomas Wood built a house. The house was a pretty normal looking house, except for the addition. Now there isn't a lot of information about when and where the addition was added, but it basically looks like someone made a giant house cake and then cut it down the middle
Starting point is 00:04:49 and took one big piece out of it. There are two competing theories. They both have to do with brothers that can't get along. And the piano room that would tear them apart. This story doesn't involve one brother sawing off the quarter of the house like where the other one is sleeping and sneaking in onto a flat bed under the barrier. The first is that the two brothers hated each other because they had to live in this house together.
Starting point is 00:05:17 So they took up different sections. Oh, the old Felix and Oscar Gambit. Classic every time. The other and the one I like better, is that one brother was given a much larger portion of the inheritance, but his property was farther away from the coast. So in order to stick it to the favored son,
Starting point is 00:05:37 the brother with a smaller ocean front property built an extension of the house to block the view of the water from his brother's house across the street. Oh, why is the sun always blocked out from shining in your window? That's my sundial Ferris wheel. That's the joy. We zoned for that here. Sundial Ferris wheel.
Starting point is 00:05:56 The guy with the smaller unit just has to work a little harder as age-old story, probably an Irish story. An Irish story. An Irish story. The measure from the butthole. Bigot. Joel's story, probably an Irish story. A Joel Irish story. A measure from the butthole. Figured. The next one is in rockport, Maine.
Starting point is 00:06:10 In 1731, an Irish immigrant named James McCobb lived in a log cabin and fathered 10 children. Whew. One of his sons was named Thomas McCobb. Irish. Told Thomas went off to become a sea captain in 1774, like you do. And his dad, at that point, built a giant house for his second wife. A second wife, he had three children with. One of them, because he ran out of names, I guess.
Starting point is 00:06:37 He names Thomas. I guess my then he probably just forgot about that one. I'm not a problem. A years later, James McCobbs marries for a third time. Yeah, because he wore the first two, just they're fucking worn out. I got a sound. His new wife is Mary Langdon Storerhill. His new stepson in that marriage,
Starting point is 00:06:59 Mary's one of his daughters from his second marriage. The right this guy is going, you can't blame him. He's not going to find anyone. He's not at least a little related to the marriage. He's my marriage. Yeah, exactly. Well, Thomas, the sea captain is away, his dad dies. Jesus, if it turns out he's Palpatine's grandson,
Starting point is 00:07:16 I'm gonna be very disappointed. Yeah. The third wife, the Hill family, claims the awesome house that dad built by breaking the will. So, when Thomas comes back, he builds a bigger, better, and more up-to-date house, basically right in their front yard. But there is a catch.
Starting point is 00:07:34 He gets to live out his petty revenge while he's alive, but after he died, he didn't have any descendants, so the third wife's family, the Hills, they wound up with his house and had it moved. See, this is why Eli and Noah get all my spiked stuff in the will. I know. They're gonna ramp it up somehow that I don't way. I haven't even thought of. It's gonna be awesome. Also explains why you don't have anything on your wall. So there you go. I don't know. I feel like had to move my house when I died is still pretty good. It is, it is.
Starting point is 00:08:08 It is. It is. Dr. John Tyler was the first otomologist to perform a cataract surgery, weird tidbit from Wikipedia there. In 1814 in Frederick, Maryland, the town had a plan to expand the road right next to his house. Was there not an oththalmologist who performed cataract surgery before?
Starting point is 00:08:27 It gets knocked. It's probably a honey badger that takes it. Right. You're gonna laugh. There was a pirate fight turned out it resulted. Exactly. A cataract surgery. Well, he decided to fight the placement of the road.
Starting point is 00:08:44 In his legal fight, he came across the law that, quote, prevented the building of a road if work was in progress on a substantial building in the path of a proposed road. So the night before the crews arrived to start on this new road, Dr. Tyler hired a builder to pour a foundation. That's awesome. Just a night builder. He's just hired a night builder.'s awesome. Just a knife builder.
Starting point is 00:09:05 He's just hired a knife builder. Yeah, it's a knife builder. And they came by the next day and then they had to abandon the project. And I guess the doctor was like, well, what the hell am I going to do with a stupid useless foundation so we built a house there? Fantastic. So what is that? Well, I guess if I don't build a house next to my other house, I'm the one who's going
Starting point is 00:09:24 to look like an idiot. So, build away, night builders. Cecil, I hate to criticize your essay like right while you're in the middle of it, but I'm not sure that our audience is gonna be able to relate to a custom as ancient and outdated as owning a house, let alone, too. Can you do that?
Starting point is 00:09:41 I'm just gonna be like, I think next week, Heath is gonna do a spike couch surfing. Is that what we got? That's a different one, that's a different, I could be in that one. That's something our audience can definitely relate to. Eli has a spike couch to spite my spike couch. So it's the most uncomfortable, possible thing
Starting point is 00:10:02 to sleep on, it's ridiculous. Is it covered in pugs, is that why it's, no, that's the only good quality. That's the most uncomfortable possible thing to sleep on. It's ridiculous. Is it covered in pugs? Is that why it's? No, that's the only good quality. That's the only good thing. Turns out they don't make nice things that have fake leather. We're... It's like a city bench and a non progressive city, which is like, no, it's a shit on it. I needed a set of Allen wrenches to adjust it in the middle of the night.
Starting point is 00:10:22 It was a fucking nightmare. In 1830, John Hollinsbury was pissed that people were using his alleyway as a place to congregate and as a shortcut for horse-drawn carriages. So he decided to put up a house in that alleyway. The alley was seven feet wide, which is a little over two meters.
Starting point is 00:10:39 The alley was so small that he had to use existing buildings exterior walls and either side is interior walls of his new seven by 20 foot foot house, which is 325 square feet by the way. Are you sure? Oh, it's two stories. It's two stories. So it's two stories.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Oh, yeah. It's two stories. I hate to break this. Yeah, I mean, that's what you want. Three or two. There is, there is an upper window. So I presume there break this piece. Three or two, there is an upper window. So I presume there are two stories. The house is still there and there's gouges on the interior walls made long go with wagon wheels and a sign on the wall that says no, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Plus as a bonus, generally stuck it to his mom who always told him he sat too close to the television. So, he... Ha, ha, ha, ha. The next house is the skinny house in Boston. The story goes that two brothers inherited a bit of property, and while one was away serving the military, the other one quickly built a house while the other wasn't looking,
Starting point is 00:11:38 using most of the land and leaving only a strip for his brother. So, brother came back and built a house on it, blocking the sunlight and fresh air on that side of the house. The Spidehouse is 10.4 feet wide at the front and tapers that want to a slimmer 9.25 feet in the back. The narrowest point inside the house is 6.2 feet. It's two stories tall and only has five doors in the whole house. Amazing. So basically just a giant brick wall to be a dick and then like a tent right next to it. So it's totally amazing. I mean, you know, the old saying, the only view better than the sea is your brother who
Starting point is 00:12:16 can fucking self. In high-oath of Kansas in 1880, there was a man named Adam Schilling. See, he owned about 80 acres, and he wanted to sell three quarters of an acre to a man named James Folloon. Well, Mr. Folloon built a house on that three quarters of an acre. Then it wasn't super clear, but I think Adam Schilling wanted to sell 80 acres of land and a 79 and a quarter acres, so he offered to buy the land back from James. Well, the price was too low. So, out of spite, Mr. Schilling built a cheap tenement house, 13 feet from his neighbor's house.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Now, Wikipedia leaves out the fact that the reason Falun was so upset was that black people lived in the tenement house. And it literally says that in the law book, they sourced it from. Yeah, it's weird that Wikipedia is being coy on that because without that fact, this is just the story of that time that one guy had made. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:13:10 This would not need to be 1880 for the same concept to apply in Kansas, by the way. You know, fun fact, you can still find deeds in any county archive with restrictions disallowing the sale of property to blacks and Jews. None of those are enforceable deed restrictions now. So the new rule is that they're allowed to buy the house and then you wait for them to go jogging or buy skittles. Oh, wow. Luckily, Jews never jog. So it's fine. Don't worry. So a similar story from New York City at Lexington Avenue in 82nd Street. So a similar story from New York City at Lexington Avenue in 82nd Street, in other than Stryppellan owned by Joseph Richardson, a larger adjacent plot of land was owned by Hyman Sarner. Hyman's story breaks down as soon as he goes horseback.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Sarner wanted to build a nice new apartment building and offered to buy the Stryppellan from Richardson. Richardson price was $5,000 and Sarner's offer was a thousand. Sarner decided to buy the strip of land from Richardson. Richardson price was $5,000, and Sanders offer was a thousand. Sanders decided to build the building anyway and did. So Richardson built a four story, 104 feet by five feet. And he made this into what Wiki calls quote, a functional albeit impractical apartment building with eight suites, each consisting of three rooms
Starting point is 00:14:23 and a bath." Yeah. Also known as a very high-end four-bedroom New York City apartment. It couldn't have been that functional because the weird nugget building was demolished 32 years later. But that's just the way New York is. They took the twin towers down after 31 years. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck is wrong with you. Right. But then we built the new one. And that one is definitely a spidehouse.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Let's be real. That's a. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty big spidehouse. We had a dammit. That's amazing. Allegedly. Also from New York, William Waldorf Astor lived next to his aunt. She happened to have a house, well, a mansion,
Starting point is 00:15:06 and they didn't get along. I have no idea what that entails, but when you're rich and spiteful, you can build a hotel, the original Waldorf hotel, right next to your aunt's house, totally dwarving it, and then to be extra petty, you could not put windows on the side of the building
Starting point is 00:15:22 that faced your aunt's house. She says, oh, hey, Auntie, you don't like the blank wall? Yeah, no, we're about to install the eye of Saran. It'll be way less boring. Yeah. Why not why not go full billboard of himself moaning? Before you build a spite hotel, though, you have to build three spite houses right in a row next to each other's rules about this sort of thing. In Collinsville, Connecticut, there were two neighbors that did not get along. They only list one of their professions, a butcher, to unclear if the other ones were candlestick makers or bakers.
Starting point is 00:15:59 In any case, the butcher, sick of his neighbor's ship, built a tiny wooden house between their houses, effectively cutting out the sun for his neighbor's windows. And it doesn't even sound like it was a functional house either. This one is more like a spite prop. Now, the house was torn down eventually by the butcher's son who was not on petty grudge terms with his neighbors, but they did say the house was as why does a stairway and had windows and functioning blinds.
Starting point is 00:16:25 So like a really nice spite prop. I like that the butcher was like, I might hate those best dudes, but we still live in a society. Put some curtains in there, come on. There's a big piece of that. Nice. In freeport, New York,
Starting point is 00:16:38 there was a plan to lay city streets out in a very sensible and easy to follow grid pattern. Well, everyone was on board except one citizen that just wanted to watch it all burn. Maga. Yeah. This landowner decided to put up a quote, Victorian house virtually overnight in a triangular plot at the corner of Lena Avenue and Wilson place to spite the grid designers and quit. This house is still there today and you know a bit of trivia if anyone decides to escue
Starting point is 00:17:13 a bit. Absolutely. I'll skew. Show me your 10th Cecil. I think this one is the most confusing of all the reasons. Like, this guy was mad at, like, perpendicularity? Like, we had hell to die on. But this is America.
Starting point is 00:17:36 We have people literally dying on the, I have every right to sneeze my virus on whoever I want, Hiltom. I need to kill for a good geometry grudge right about. Now you say that, no, but those grudges almost never end up. Don't say square. Okay. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Shit. Don't be a T1 early on. We were doing so well. Charles Froling had a dream. His plan was to build a wonderful little dream house on a plot of land that was passed down to him through his inheritance. Well, the city of Alameda, California had other plans. They put a road right over most of his property and left him with a sliver of land. Well, on that triple land, Froeling built his spite house. It was 20 feet tall,
Starting point is 00:18:22 54 feet long, and only 10 feet wide. He built cantilevers that were in zoning code so he could expand the upstairs level over the sidewalk. Okay. Yeah. But as stupid as it is, that still makes vastly more sense than the entire building scheme that is Houston, Texas. Yeah. Yeah. Are they spite houses if you're punching up? I feel like if they're punching across or down, it's a spite house. But if it's like punching up, it's a justice house. Yeah. Devout, churchgoer Joseph Adelston died in 1904. He had attended the same church for 41 years.
Starting point is 00:19:02 The Adelson family asked the church to erect a monument to their father in the church yard. The church told the family that the church yard was just too cluttered with monuments already, but if they'd be happy to do so if the family donated that nice bit of land they own next to the church yard. The family thought it over and they decided to build a nice new house on that land.
Starting point is 00:19:21 This isn't the Spifle part. They built a 40 foot column dedicated to their father right next to the brick fence that towered over the trees and that monument overlooks all the puny monuments inside the church are laughing at their insignificance. It's amazing. They should have put a death mask at their dad looking all sad at the top but otherwise it's perfect. All right, also we need to start buying land next to churches and putting up giant fucking Satan statues. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:50 I'm saying playable Satan, that'll be fun. Yeah, I actually have a few of those will to know and Eli already. You guys don't have to know that. As a swaki waving inflatable arm flailing seats for the people. That's amazing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Good for the used car business. Good for the spine house., good for the Spy House. Anyways, while Heath and I find out how obviously wacky Satan can be jerking it, we'll take a quick break for a little something we like to call a propose of nothing. Hi, I'm Eli Bosnick. And I'm Tom. You know, in today's economy, it's hard to spite like we used to.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Mortgage and zoning laws can make the spite houses of yesterday an impossibility. That's why we're here to tell you about spite websites. For as little as $12 a year, or less if you're willing to go on those weirdo websites to buy your domains, you can purchase domains like hethenright.com and redirect it to the page for ramen noodles.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Okay. That's not all. Did you know this? Hastertonyspell.com and TonySpell.org are free? They are. And you can put whatever you want on those. Spite websites, it might not be a house,
Starting point is 00:21:09 but it will last forever. Can I please just like, what you know, no, no, no, no, nope. Even like whatever. And we're back. When we left off, people were living out Noah's dreams over and over and over again. They're next, Cecil. In West Cambridge, Massachusetts, Francis O'Reilly had what they called an investment parcel of land.
Starting point is 00:21:47 He thought he could make some money off the land, selling it to a neighbor next to the parcel. The neighbor didn't see the need to buy the land, so O'Reilly built a 308 square foot house on it. It's 37 feet long and only 8 feet wide. And this one, unlike a lot of the others, we've mentioned did not block out any of the neighbor's windows or son. In fact, this tract of land is actually right next to the sidewalk on the side of the yard. So the house looks like a shed or something. And it might be that the Spite House actually saves the homeowner on fence
Starting point is 00:22:20 costs because it basically sits where a 37 foot long piece of fence would fit. That has to be embarrassing, right? It's like, yeah, fucker, you like that? You like that fucking spite house? You, all you do? I get that. That takes kind of the wind out of my sales on that one. I'm not gonna.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Mm. You take a fucking spite shit in the lawn. Grass gets really green. I don't know. Or if I didn't read. Dude, go to a doctor. No. Jesus Christ go to a doctor. No.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Jesus Christ. No. God. Sarajevo city government wanted to build a bitch and new city hall in the city center in 1892. They demolished several buildings, but then hit a roadblock. One of the buildings that they needed removed was owned by a Bosnian fellow that really didn't want to move.
Starting point is 00:23:02 So the Austro-Hungarian official set to work trying to convince the guy. After a series of long negotiations, they settled on a sack full of gold duckets and the government disassemble his current house, transported to a new plot of land on the other side of the river and rebuilt it. The government agreed and the story goes, quote, the old man spent every day of the move sitting in the middle of a nearby bridge, smoking cigarettes and carefully watching the workers
Starting point is 00:23:29 transport each brick across the river. When the house was finally rebuilt, it was aptly named in Atkuka, I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly, or the house of spite. And, haha. One fact, also the name of Paul Ryan's autobiography, House of Spite. Ohography. House of spite.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Oh nice. Nice. I don't know if this is a spite, this is just good negotiate. Yeah, like that's all that says this job. All right, I'm not gonna lie for a city that started a World War in 1914 because somebody disrespected the grudge they still had
Starting point is 00:23:59 over something that happened in 1380. That's really my old spank. Ha ha ha. In 1922 in Newberry, Massachusetts, a couple divorced. And I guess they had some pretty interesting laws back then, regarding the splitting of assets, the man was required to build an exact replica of his current house for his wife. So he did.
Starting point is 00:24:20 So what? But he found two little poll tape could exploit here. The first was that they didn't specify where it had to be built. So he put it in the great marsh on the edge of town. And then I guess they didn't specify that the house had to be plumbed with drinkable water because it has salt water problem, which makes no sense. But that's what we're competing. Fucking.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Where's the electrical transformer. He's like, oh, you see that kite with a key on it? That's actually what you want to use right there. An exact replica of their former marital residence. Like, does that mean every once in a while he gets to show up and not do the dishes and play video games while ignoring her? Just a big one.
Starting point is 00:25:04 All right. The next one has murky origins, so it might not be true. But in Montenake, Seattle, Washington, one neighbor asked to buy a little slice of land from another neighbor, but offered an insultingly low amount of money for it. This bit of land was tapered pretty badly, and you'd think that you wouldn't be able to do much with it. But the owner of the land, pissed that the low low ball offer decided to build a house there anyway. The house is tapered pretty badly at one end. It starts out normal looking enough.
Starting point is 00:25:31 I'm going to taper their trapezoid based. I love how much I like trapezoid. Absolutely. This one is a normal house on one side. Ethan then tapers down to 55 inches on the other, which is like a meter and a half wide. That's fucking hell, okay, murky origins are no. The house is there. Right?
Starting point is 00:25:53 And there's no way the motivation for that being true was just that being true. It was so. In 1934 in Buenos Aires, Karina Kavanaugh built a skyscraper called the Kavanaugh Building. The building was the tallest skyscraper in Latin America at the time of its construction.
Starting point is 00:26:12 The legend is that Karina wanted to marry off her daughters to a local wealthy family named Anchorria. Well, that family refused the arranged marriage and so she built her skyscraper in between the family's palace and the church the family had built. And when you see the design of this building, there is no doubt that it was made to block the view of something. Absolutely indentual. Yeah. Yeah. The building's very clearly in the exact shape of the church and people in this apartment. 100%
Starting point is 00:26:43 It might as well lean back and forth like a bully stopping you from walking down the hall. You've got to have a look around. It's so true. Huh? Hey. The Cavanaugh building built by Tovon and Squee construction company. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Fuck you. And some on every time. The worst part is checking out their calendar to see when they're going to be on, you know, because it's a, it's a, no, no no spite day here. As you can see, not a spite day. The next one is another feud between brothers in Beirut, Lebanon, two brothers fought over land that belonged to both of them. One brother got the short end of the stick and part of his property was cut away and taken for municipal projects. So he decided to make a house on the land
Starting point is 00:27:26 that would dispoil his brother's view of the ocean. The house seriously looks like a facade on a Hollywood set at its widest, the house is 13 feet, but it's narrowest. It's less than two feet wide or 67 meters. It's called Elbasa or the Grudge. George Lucas had a huge plot of land that he wanted to build a movie studio in a
Starting point is 00:27:46 Marin County in California. The county was affluent and had enough money to and clout to bring those plans to a standstill. So Lucas decided to bring down the property values by constructing low income housing on the spot instead of a studio. Now Lucas denies that he did this for this reason, but we've all seen his dark side. So, he's all part of his plan to expand the empire. Yeah, like we're talking about a guy who made three entire spite movies.
Starting point is 00:28:12 This doesn't surprise me at all. At all. This last one is my favorite. And to Pika Kansas, there's a bigot organization called the Westboro Baptist Church. I'm pretty sure everyone knows the story. This is the greatest makesnazig story. This is the greatest. Makes people fucking happy.
Starting point is 00:28:27 These are the people who hold anti-gay demonstrations at funerals and national disasters. They hold up signs that say God hates fags. They're awful. Yeah, also, by the way, just, I propose nothing, unrelated. Here's a 10-digit number I was thinking about just now. I don't know why I thought it was.
Starting point is 00:28:42 785-2730-325. I just like, I'm 10-digit, I was just like thinking of, I don't know why this seven eight five two seven three zero three two five I just like I'm like There's I think phone numbers are tend to just seven eight five two seven three oh three Just I think seven eight five two seven three oh three two five was the 10 digit number that I was so weird Did you say the same brand? We were thinking about it. I think what I said was 785, 273, oh yeah, 75, I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:29:09 I'm not sure. We're the same one. Right, yeah, got it. I think I'm a bot. What? What? Jesus, what? I wanted to play.
Starting point is 00:29:17 How come big and I never get to play? Anyway, a wonderful group called planting peace, walked the house across the street. The mission statement of this nonprofit is, Planting Peace is a global nonprofit organization founded for the purpose of spreading peace in a hurting world. They painted the exterior colors of the rainbow pride flag on it and they called it a quality house.
Starting point is 00:29:41 They have to. And that's so good. They liked the house so much. They bought the one next door and painted it at the transgender pride flag. I love it. Beautiful work. And the best part of this is like,
Starting point is 00:29:51 the WBC is defined in history forever as bothering people by being places. And now whenever they eat breakfast, they have to be like, ah, they got us. They got us. Ah, yeah. That was a good one.
Starting point is 00:30:08 And Cecil, if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? You should try to be nice to your neighbors, unless it's your brother, then you should try to poison a soup. Just poison to try to control it. And are you ready for the quiz? Is this the spiting round? We'll do it.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Absolutely. All right, Cecil. So when I buy the house next to Eli's for spite because it's slightly better and no fucking hate that, what should I turn it into? A, a halfway house for struggling libertarians. The Francis Bacon Library of Literature. I literally already have a permit for a ziplining course. Go far, go far. It is not a mixture of all three. You're doing spiteful.
Starting point is 00:30:53 That is great. Yeah. Well done. All right, Cecil. Admittedly, many of these homes were built for vicious petty reasons. What is another great reason to build a spider? Hey, because you can't. Hey, you know, there's so many good choices, Tom, but A is absolutely my favorite.
Starting point is 00:31:18 It's my favorite. It's my favorite. It's my favorite. He's really good at this shit. All right, Cecil, spite houses are awesome. But which of these useless petty revenge-based structures are most common? A, resentment houses.
Starting point is 00:31:33 B, anemonsteries. C, umbridges. Oh. Oh. That's the most. Oh, my favorite. See umbridges Or D churches You're trying to give you with churches there cuz that's the true answer, but I'm gonna go with C It's my favorite umbridges I wrote the question. So yes, that is correct So good all right C.il nobody managed to stump you
Starting point is 00:32:07 So you are this week's winner actually Noah's the winner with umbridges I'm gonna pick him to be next week So take it all right well for Tom heat Noah and Cecil I'm Eli Thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week! And by then, Noah will be an expert on something else. If we know, then you can catch Tobinai's new Let's Play channel, Wire Video Games, so hard. You can visit the C-Saw & Noah's new podcast, Grow It Long, and Heath's TikTok, which is still just a picture of his bedside alarm. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. Or, think of some five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, You can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or even a 5 star review
Starting point is 00:32:46 everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes, be sure to check out citation pod dot com. And remember, nobody's ever hated you enough to build a house with saltwater plumbing. saltwater plumbing.

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