Citation Needed - The Amish

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

The Amish (/ˈɑːmɪʃ/; Pennsylvania German: Amisch; German: Amische), formally the Old Order Amish, are a group of traditionalist Anabaptist Christian church fellowships with Swiss German and Alsatian origins.[2] They are closely related to Mennonite churches, a separate Anabaptist denomination.[3] The Amish are known for simple living, plain dress, Christian pacifism, and slowness to adopt many conveniences of modern technology, with a view neither to interrupt family time, nor replace face-to-face conversations whenever possible, and a view to maintain self-sufficiency. The Amish value rural life, manual labor, humility and Gelassenheit (submission to God's will).

Hello and welcome to Siltation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject, read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Noah, I'm going to be leading this barn raising, but I can't do it alone. Joining me tonight are two men whose beards would make them fit right in with the Amish and the third whose understanding of technology would see so Eli and Todd. Hello. My beard is both business and party on front. Thank you very much.

Exactly. Yes. It is just so hard to find a good lot I could. Yeah, man. I gotta go to my space. This is a guy who does something to try me to. Just try me to. I'm trying to meet up.

All right. So before we dive into this subject this week, I want to take a second to thank our patrons. Non patrons, we've already lost the opening sketch. Soon, budget cuts will come for the mid sketch and then the opening theme before you know what, there's nothing left of the show, but me correcting Tom about something unimportant and Cecil sighing and a jockey had to cut. And the only thing standing between us and that horrible fate are our patrons. So if you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around to the end of the show. With that of the way. Tell us Cecil what person plays think concept phenomenon or event

We'll be talking about today. Today. We're gonna be talking about the omnisch. Oh awesome. All right, so Tom You read the Wikipedia article or a parchment if you wanted to stay the medic, I guess Are you ready to regale us now this horse isn horse isn't going to buggy whip itself Noah. All right. So who are the Amish? We know the Amish have a reputation for being the quaint furniture building barn raising innovators of the neckbeard. And for many, the Amish have even become something of a tourist attraction.

A visit to Pennsylvania Dutch country is often a trip to rubber neck, a horse and buggy or bi-apple pies from the OG Americana handmaidens. A visit to Pennsylvania Dutch country is often a trip to rubber neck a horse and buggy or Bi-Apple pies from the OG Americana handmaidens. Stores across America, or at least the Midwest, proudly declare the sale of Amish furniture, as if to suggest that the construction of a table by a religious cult that issues zippers will yield a higher quality of construction. And there is a pervasive cultural feeling that the Amish are just, well, simple country folk, playing nature and good-hearted hard work and salt to the

earth types, whose very existence romantically calls to mind a simpler America. And this, like all myths of the kinder gentler, more noble religious extremists, simply has no teeth, much like many of the others. Has there ever been a driver who thought, ooh, I get to ride behind a buggy. What a delight. Amazing. Okay. The question I have is if Heath was Amish, would he know? No, no.

Could we, could we do an undercover boss situation, maybe? All right. But let's cut our teeth on some history since we still have that option. Could we, could we do an undercover boss situation, maybe? All right, but let's cut our teeth on some history since we still have that option. The term Amish was first used in 1710 by opponents of some long dead leader of the Anabaptist movement. And the term was definitely a pejorative. There was a schism among the Anabaptists at the time over the preferred treatment of fallen believers. One group, the Emmons, haulers, were of the belief that the preferred treatment of fallen believers. One group, the Eman-tallers,

were of the belief that the fallen among them should be refused communion, but otherwise be allowed to eat food. While the opposition, the Amish, believed that the fallen believer should be shunned completely, including refusing to eat and share common meals with them. And so the intellectual and moral birthplace of the Amish began with that kindest and gentless refusal to break bread or commune in any way with those they could not religiously tolerate. It sounds slightly more tolerant than Mike Pence treats women that aren't his wife though. Man, that's true.

That's fair, yeah. Yeah, I'm just kind of mad that history contains a group of people called the Eman dollars that didn't like have telekinesis and speak it as simply semisurcular room or something, you know? It's kind of a cheesy name to be honest. Now firmly established. Now firmly established as the protectors of shunning as a meritorious moral act. The Amish began

migrating to Pennsylvania from Switzerland in the early 18th century. In America, they hoped to buy land and avoid religious persecution so they could persecute religiously in peace and harmony. Between 1717 and 1750, about 500 Amish made their way to America and ultimately settled in Lancaster County. These would be known as the Old Order. A second wave of around 1500 arrived in America in the mid 19th century and they populated parts of Ohio, Illinois, Iowa, and southern Ontario.

Though they were generally more liberal and did not join forces with the Old Order Amish. Look, I get where you're coming from, Jebediah, but Steel Axes on the horse carts are the way of the future and we have to be willing to do the dines. Not that wrong. And I will say here that as a rule, the Amish are free to fuck right off and not be Amish if they so choose or to fuck right off and be Amish, but differently as well. Well, yeah, no, that's not a rule. That's a law.

You're just, they can't not do that. And after 1850, some of the Amish congregations began to get on each other's nerves and conferences were held to discuss how best to handle the pressures and tensions that were beginning to encroach on Amish society. But for some of the old order types, even the conferences themselves were seen as far too progressive. And the more old school, old order guys boycott the conferences, while the more progressively minded broke off and formed the menonites, which is all to say that if you want to understand just how wildly conservative the Amishar, the fucking menonites became their version of the green party. Mennonite sounds like an ancient people that really like speed stick deodorant.

Oh, sure. I think they don't smell like that. I think sure don't. And while the Amish were all too happy to be isolationist from modern society, World War I really helped solidify it. With the war came the massive suppression of the German language, which the Amish and the Mennonites largely spoke. That language shift among the larger local culture in Pennsylvania away from German to

exclusively English further created a barrier between the Amish and the larger world. Look, the unvaccinated child slaves, you sell the men quadruple their age I can understand I, but Shmetterling, that's how you say butter. That's awful. Word. Such a dumb thing we do. We get mad at a country. So we take it out on their language and their fried potato sticks. America's so fucking stupid.

All right. In World War II, that would also have a dramatic impact on the Amish population. The Amish have a steadfast refusal to engage in military service. And many young men from within the Amish community ended up in the civilian public service, working in forestry or hospitals. These men often working side-by-side with the more progressive men and nights,

as well as those from the outside world, refused to return to the Amish church and community after their service. You think, don't get me wrong, mom. Amish is great, but wait until I tell you about literally anything else. Seems like a hell of a long condo, pretend you're Amish just to get out of fighting a war, but you got to respect that kind of dedication, man. Really genuinely.

Exactly. Yeah. Plus we don't look super fondly on the folks who chose to vote present about a car. Oh, no. And outside of World War II, the rise of the automobile also caused a schism in the Amish church. Some saw the car as a revolutionary technological achievement that would fundamentally

reshape American life, work, and culture, while others saw the automobile as something to fear and avoid. Twenty bucks this time's about to tell us how those last guys were right. Okay. Technology is like music. If it came out after I graduated high school, that's what makes it. There it is. We found it.

Anyway, the Amish who made allowances for the existence of reality broke off and they became the beachy Amish, which is an adorable name for Midwesterners to take up. The beachy Amish also had a schism, and now there's a faction called the old beachy Amish, which sounds like a very upsetting name for a weird nudist column. Yeah, and lots of very specific shaving going on there. Like you're who high has a beard, but no mustache. I am actually a rouse by that. I'm a rouse by that.

Right, yeah. And all of this again is just to say that the Amish historically are just as rife with division and strife as any other religious movement whose initial and primary purpose of her being was to isolate from society so they could isolate their internal enemies from their own society. And for reasons inexplicable, the United States caders to this. In 1972, the US Supreme Court exempted Amish children from compulsory education laws past the eighth grade, allowing the Amish the God-given freedom to educationally neglect their kids after the age of 13, ensuring that their children won't have the tools to be functionally independent if they ever choose to leave the cult. the age of 13, ensuring that their children won't have the tools to be functionally independent

if they ever choose to leave the cult. Oh, you want to chain their brains to your home and culture. Yeah, that's fine. I thought you guys were doing something barbaric. You know, you can absolutely. Yeah, the fuck at the Supreme Court is like, well, but who are we to tell them that their lifestyle is the wrong one and ours is the right. And we're like, the ones with our pants zipped up. I don't get to fucking question.

Very super simple. That's not even not like a hard. I wish it also note here the moment in time when the old order homage began their rejection of technology. Now, obviously the Amish never rejected all of technology. They only really began their systemic and ideological rejection in the early part of the 20th century. First, in fact, they rejected the telephone. Then cars, as previously discussed, followed by tractors, radios,

and then just pretty much everything else from there, except for when they don't, which as we'll discuss is whenever it turns out it's convenient for them. Yeah. Religiously, the Amish rejection of the value of the individual over community motivates the intentional spurning of labor-saving technologies. So the more laborious things are, the more they must rely upon their community.

So they've built a world where just everything is annoying and sweaty and difficult so they can all be annoyed and sweaty and difficult and tired, but in togetherness. Yeah, and not enhances the joy of collective sweatiness like proximity. They reject electric power lines specifically because the Bible, which by the way did not in any way predict electricity, says in Romans that you shall not be, quote, conformed to the world. That's where they went with that, okay. And quote, and somehow that means you can't use the power grid.

Sure. Photographs are avoided to avoid this in vanity and anything that might spark competition for status also has to be scrupulously avoided. Right. Except when they don't do those things because they live on earth and interact constantly with society. What they don't do is to trip you to those things is what they don't do.

They make chairs. They're bad chairs. They are bad chairs. They just threw away an homage dining set, not that longer. It's piece of shit. And they're lacquered with our shit. It's fine.

We're getting to I'm jumping ahead. I'm spoiling the second half. I'm just not that long as it's a shit. And they're lacquered with our shit. It's fine, we're getting to it. I'm jumping ahead. I'm spoiling the second half. I'm sorry. I have to call myself out for a moment here though and admit that my entire life until I researched this as they I believed that the Amish assuing of zippers was part of their broader technological rejection,

but it is not. And it's not just zippers. Old order Amish don't use zippers, but they also avoid Velcro and even buttons declaring them all ostentatious. Instead, old order Amish close their garments with hook and eye enclosures, which are obviously much less sinful than some dirty button penetrating that buttonhole like a filthy whore. How repressed you have to be to think that every time you put on a t-shirt you're like fisting two different people.

Like it's super weird, man. Or how many buttons did a guy walk in wearing one day that they were like, all right, well there it is, Jeb and I, and we can't have buttons anymore. It's very obvious. You look like you don't know. Just one day tracing that button over and over and over. Plain around the crest of that button, you know. Now, officially you are not Amish until you choose to be Amish.

That happens after baptism, generally sometime around 16, sometimes is latest 23. Once baptized, the faithful are bound to the unwritten rules which strictly govern Amish life. One is the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the fact that the and those 500 split up because of internal divisions. And you start your endogamous breeding pool with only actually about 200 people. You're gonna create a community that reads like a Heath and Wright browser history. Cheese recipes? Elizabeth Warren deepbakes? Obsesting questions about where?

Who's the dead one? Good one. Good one. Really took it turn. Let me show up next time. Man. I'm like, of turn. Let me show up next time. Man. All right. I'm like, he likes cheese.

And he lies like, he's going to start a race war. The result is that there are a number of genetic disorders that are disproportionately prevalent among the inbreeding amish, including one genetic disorder that only exists among the amish. Dwarfism, Tasex, maple syrup, you're now. What now? What? Yep.

As well as metabolic disorders, plague the Amish, and since they cannot inject new genes into their pool of breeding candidates, and they don't believe in using genetic testing, there is no chance of avoiding creating children with profoundly devastating genetic disorders. This entirely preventable suffering is, of course, chalked up to God's will, and the mortality rate of Amos children is severely out of step with the general population.

All right, y'all. I thought Tom made up maple syrup, urine disease, and I just grew with it. And I, I for one want to start a petition to give that tragic condition a name that is way less simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. Yeah. At the very least, let's get a click through going on the Wikipedia page. Right? Like, are you sure button? And while we're on the subject, we need to talk teeth. I alluded to it in the intro,

but dentures among very young Amish people are really weirdly common. The water, used by the Amish-Lax Flouradation and the Amish don't routinely avail themselves of dental care. In fact, nearly a third of all Amish children have never seen a dentist, and for many Amish children and young people, this lack of care and attention means a staggering amount of tooth decay. But that's not really the root of the issue.

The Amish think of dental care as cosmetic. And remember that anything that celebrates vanity of the individual is verboten for the Amish, so rather than take care of their chompers, they very often just pull those fuckers out when they become a problem. And as a result, many very young people within the Amish community have few or none of their actual teeth. Hmm. All right.

Well, the Amish have my teeth, Tom's fear of new technology. I guess we're going to find out what they have in common with Cecil and Eli on the other side of apropos of nothing. Uh, excuse me, excuse me, sir, sorry to bother you, but my car broke down like five miles down the road, and I was wondering... I'm- I'm sorry, why are you dressed like that? Just like what, brother? Like that, like with the hat and the suspenders and stuff. Are you in like a pilgrim band? Nah, nah, brother.

I am Amish. We reject all modernity, including the debauchery and flourish of modern dress. Wow. So how do you guys get around? Oh, horse and buggy, of course. Amazing. How do you do that without roads? Oh, no, we use the roads.

Yeah. The roads made by like steam rollers and jackhammers and ch... Yeah, those ones. Okay, well, I ones. Okay, okay. Well, I guess still, milling your own steel for your puggies must be what most of your time has spent doing, right? I mean, what do you guys do

if you don't have an iron deposit nearby? No, we buy steel and most of our other materials from the modern world. Mm-hmm. Yep. Sometimes. Got it. Well, hey, I still got to say living off the land, survival farming, and Pennsylvania. I mean, starvation must be rampant.

So I got to give it to you guys there, right? Yes, indeed. I mean... We also sell... infrared heaters on TV. Infrared heaters on TV if you infer it what so what we don't make the heaters we just Make the wood box that goes on the outside of the which are then sold on Television they're sold on television for the most part. Yeah Sounds a little like you might be a self-aliminated plague, man. What? I said, can I have a ride back to my car?

Sure, we can take my bicycle. Oh, come on! It's a shitty bicycle. Every new year, there's tons of pressure to work out. To already be lifting big and running marathons on January 1st, but often the pressure to be amazing stops people from even starting, when really the only thing that matters is starting. That's why Peloton's offering up to $800 off, select Peloton purchases, and two months free membership to get you moving. Choose from the Peloton bike, bike plus, tread, row, or guide, and find thousands of classes that work for you.

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So what's next, John? All right, for the omniscience, there's nothing more important than the rules of the Church, the Ordinung, these are the unwritten, but not informal rules the community must live by. At twice a year, all the members of the Church, within a given district, must all agree on the rules. And these rules govern everything to which technologies are prohibited, and under what limitations, rules, and exceptions. I mentioned before that the Amish won't allow themselves to be connected to the grid,

but many Amish communities still use power tools, often relying on generators to power them, or they just use pneumatic tools. But that Amish craftsman dining room table you bought wasn't built any differently than any other table. They sometimes all gather around and agree that, yeah, they can use solar panels if they feel like there's a need. So they have a no electricity, except for when yes electricity kind of a rule. Right. Yeah. Sorry.

Not to be a broken record, but it's the contributing to society that they're against. It's not the same. And that's not at all uncommon. There is a lot of skirting of the rules through a lot of like loophole letter of the law type stuff. It's not uncommon to see Amish folks using a fucking iPhone at the farmer's market to take payments because they routinely rewrite the rules to create a distinction between using modern shit when it work versus when they're at home.

And while we tend to think of the Amish trundling about in a horse and buggy, most have embraced riding in cars, even if they cannot own or drive one, which has resulted in Amish cab surfaces proliferating among communities of the Amish. And while it's not uncommon in Amish country to encounter the horse and buggy, it is also not uncommon to just see an Amish adherent sitting in a fucking Uber on an iPhone under a commute home, whether they have to ditch the phone and pretend it's the past now. Yeah. Well, and I'm sure this is already in everybody's mind, but let me just spell it out in case it isn't what this amounts to is a restriction on women

and children using the technology, right? And men doing whatever the fuck they decided to allow them to do exactly. And speaking of the horse and buggy situation, those damn things are death traps. Funny enough, drunk driving is not uncommon among the Amish. An accident involving cars or trucks versus, you know, horses and buggies are nearly always devastating because of fucking course they are, right? But don't delude yourself in a thinking that all that reliance on horses means that they give a shit about the animals. The Amish are notoriously insensitive to the suffering of their horses.

And in researching this topic, I cannot even count. I cannot count the number of stories I encountered detailing the mistreatment of animals perpetrated by the amish. So, okay, rewind. When they get into a drunk driving crash with a buggy, did both the driver and the horse get blitzed? I don't understand. Do you exchange insurance information with the guy or the

horse? These are the cars. Thank you, Eli. Thank you. See that horse trying to walk with one hoof in front of the other as it's walking. They can't do it. Can't do it. You know what? In terms of what happens, giant horse mouth around the breath aligns you to hold on. You You know the insurance they use is guy cold. That's actually good. Thank you.

Was it? It was illite good. Great none occur. It says no one knows inbreeding like the amish. We need to talk now about the Amish puppy mills. Oh, do we? Yeah, little bit. You see, it's not just quaint, but hideous, cracker barrel knack off furniture that the Amish produce. In Ohio, fully 98% of the puppy mills are run by the Amish. In Indiana, it's 97% 63% in Pennsylvania. In Lancaster County alone, the Amish run an estimated 600 unlicensed dog breeding

facility. Jesus. These dogs are just regarded as a cash crop by the Amish, and conditions are generally appalling, with some breeders in possession of over a thousand animals. In at least one instance, a mass calling of puppies was performed in one of these breeding mills to avoid vaccination efforts for those dogs. Jesus, fuck, you're crazy. I feel like if your lifestyle leads to an anti-vax puppy holocaust, you rethink it, no? You think?

You don't hope no. And as bucolic as it may seem on the outside, the Amish are a nightmare for the environment. Their farms are run without adhering to EPA standards and best practices. As a result, their fences are often cheaply or improperly built and maintained, and their cows just wander around and shit everywhere, turning the waterways into shit-slicked, e-colyse-slip-insides. It's gotten so bad that major algae blooms in the Chesapeake Bay have been attributed to their waste runoff. And their farming practices are so outmoded

and out of date with current research, the land that they till is subject to nutrient deficiencies as well as serious soil erosion. Right, which is why multiple states have had to come in and redo the water and soil for the Amish for them like fucking overlords in a lazy sci-fi shorts Amish farming feels like it would be against the Amodesty rules anyway They're like fine with finger blast in the ground before you drop your seeds into it. I don't think so. Being a woman in the Amish community is also a fucking horror in all the ways that you would imagine and that are not appropriate for a fun comedy show. So we're not going to

go into detail there, but you can fill in all the blanks and you would be right. No, I wouldn't. But what we have to talk about now is the Amish right of passage known as Rumspringer. Rumspringer just means adolescence, and this period typically begins around the age of 16, and it ends when the adolescence either chooses to be baptized as Amish or to leave the community and be shunned. As much as it's often portrayed in media as like Amish spring break gone wild, it's not usually that way. A, although a small percentage of Amish adolescents might drive a car, otherwise engage in non-Amish or English behaviors, for the most part, rum spring is a relatively

sedate affair and nearly all of them will find their way to baptism and a life of frighteningly awful facial hair. Right. But first, a bunch of them visit the their way to baptism and a life of frighteningly awful facial hair. Right. But first, a bunch of them visit the toy store where Heath, no one I used to work. Like a bunch. It's a real, sure amount of them. And they gather around and you know that you can get away with a bunch of weird lies about life in the outside world, but somehow you summon the willpower not to. But most of the time you summon the willpower is going to say no.

I'll tell some stories at a turn. And of course, if the choice has been made not to be baptized, it's time to shun. And remember that shunning is so important for the Amish that this is pretty much why the Amish are even a thing. Shunning in the Amish community is scorched earth, total isolation and rejection. A shun to person within the Amish community cannot share meals with that community. Community members will effectively treat the shund as if they had died, sometimes mourning for the loss of the shunned. The shunned is cut off from every avenue of solace, comfort, and communication within a community that exists pretty much solely for its own community.

It is a brutal and cruel punishment that the Amish have fought very, very hard to maintain. As someone with serious scorched earth pathways in my own personal life, I'm going to say Tom, not all shunners, okay? Not all shunners. Hey, no arguments from him, Cecil. I thought he was talking about how he ends relationships for a second there. I was worried. I'm just going to end for a reason, Eli. He just hugs you until you die, Eli. That's how he ends. He pets you way too hard one time in your dead.

I might break up with you. So there is however hope for the abandoned. If shunned, all that is necessary is for the shunned party to repent. Repentance and forgiveness are cornerstones to Amish life. And while this sounds nice, it's not forcing someone to beg and plead for forgiveness in order to not lose literally everything they've ever known is not an act of magnanimous mercy. He even let me lick his boots. He even let me lick his boots. But as bad as that is, it's actually quite a bit worse because embedded in all of this is the Amish belief that justice be handled entirely in house with repentance seen as the only real goal.

And what this means in effect and from the stories that I've read is that a shitload of horrible assholes commit like Amish on Amish crimes and the authorities are never called. They're not involved. Instead, a big heartfelt, sorry, Jesus, my bad gets you literally out of jail. Yeah, and unfortunately, Tom's talking about things like child rape and murder, just in case you were picturing, you know, hilarious low-tech spy versus spy antics. Is what I was hoping that was going on there. That would be awesome. And look, maybe all this is a very, very cynical text. Maybe a kind of reading of the Amish would allow me to better appreciate several generations

of in-breds running their puppy mills and abusing their women and children, but I guess I'm not desperate enough yet to fawn over their ugly furniture and their melee roadside tomatoes sold to me by a next-beer-nate-o-sauce. desperate enough yet to fawn over their ugly furniture and their melee roadside tomatoes sold to me by netbeard or saw. Sold to me by netbearded religious zealots that America has adopted is the rock wellian vision of a simplicity. So if you still want to travel out to the Pennsylvania Dutch country and rubber neck are religious cult churn their butter, Who am I to judge?

And if you had to summarize what you've learned in one sentence, what would it be? It's me. I'm the one to do. Yes. You are. All right. Are you ready for the quiz? I am. All right, Tom. What's the most famous Amish childhood storybook character? A, Barney, B, B, so quest through the cat. See, expunge Bob or D, Jiminy Ricketts. Oh, fantastic. Jiminy Ricketts is.

That's all day long. It's almost head with Barney, but it is Jimmy Rickets. I knew it. All right, I got one for you, Tom. What would be as equally sensitive and descriptive in name for a disease about syrupy discharge as maple syrup urine disease? Oh, God. Hey, the thicker dicker up.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Hey, Clutch sludge that will buy or see fecal trickle. Oh, shit. Fecal trickle.

Got it. And that's a vehicle. That's gee. It is. In fact, is it matter of fact, I changed the whole wording of the question so that fecal

trickle would also make sense. So I'm just going to get this thing. Yes, that is correct. That's great. All right, Tom. What song do Amish people dance to at their wedding? Hey, my endless la dite.

The Shunway or another. Or C. Coco Mellon. If you know about the part Tom skipped, you get it. Is it some... Mmm. Fucking Coco Mellon. Alright, there it is. Where is he know it. I feel fantastic fucking cocoa melon

Cecil I want a man you to write an essay sounds great amazing all right Well for Cecil Eli and Todd, I'm Noah. Thank you for hanging out with us today We're gonna be back next week by then Cecil will be an expert on something else Ah between now and then be sure to check out more of Tom and Cecil and cognitive dissonance more of Eli and me on God off from movies and more of ads on D-Roll Show going a purpose of donation at patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five-star review everywhere you can if you want to get in touch with us Check out best episodes. Can I listen to social media or check the show notes be sure to check out citation pod dot com All right, well thanks for the ride back to my car out citation pod dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot