Citation Needed - The Great Molasses Flood

Episode Date: August 2, 2017

The Great Molasses Flood, also known as the Boston Molasses Disaster or the Great Boston Molasses Flood, occurred on January 15, 1919 in the North End neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts. A large molasses storage tank burst and a wave of molasses rushed through the streets at an estimated 35 mph (56 km/h), killing 21 and injuring 150. The event entered local folklore and for decades afterwards residents claimed that on hot summer days the area still smelled of molasses. Skit music: “Dangerous” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

Oh Okay, okay are you guys are you guys ready? Oh my fucking god holy shit what is this Surprise Surprise fuck get it off Subject of the show today we just thought we'd do something with glasses So bad I can't get it out of my head. Why is it so fucking hot? It's it had to be hot or it wouldn't pour fast enough. Obviously. Pfft.

Surprise. Jesus, it's everywhere. I can't fucking you fucking idiots. It's because of the show. I am going to fucking find you. And when I do, I'm gonna get one of my swords. I'm gonna stab all of you in the mother fucking throat. It's uncomfortable in here.

Now I think I'm gonna go. Best friend prank is... get the best friends! Don't let shout, not in front of the molasses. Hello and welcome to Sight Take the Needle podcast. We choose a subject. Read a single art, we do a fun thing where it's different every time. Read a single article about it on Wikipedia. And pretend we're experts because this is the internet, and that's how it works now. I'm Eli.

You already know, by my squeaky voice and the sounds of the machines helping me breathe and all... We desperately hoping to hold out long enough to help walk you through another meaningless wiki entry can serve no greater purpose than to get you to nail a random five you impress a Travea Knight. I'm not alone in this endeavor to get podcast nerds laid by women with low standards for personal hygiene. No, no, no. Joining me are two men who's combined disgust and disdain for the human race could power a small city, Noah and Tom. I'm just saying if you want to avoid rolling brown outs just feed the ugly people into the incinerate it's all so many parts. Stupid. Yeah. I feel like between the two of us Eli I feel like that city would

be more of a good size that a small I don't know if that was the word. They were looking for a straight and they said we'd never do the eugenic episode. And also joining us tonight. Oh, we will. And also joining us tonight are two men who can buy their pants in the regular size people's sections of stores and will stop bragging about it. And Cecil.

I mean, I guess I can buy them. Anyone can buy any pants. But as you look like an out of shape Hulk got slightly angry with him out of whatever else. Yeah, I agree. My whole life is the Chris Farley's fat guy in a little coat skip. Based on the outside perspective you and Tom's relationship,

I think a lot of Tommy Boy is your life at this point. But you really have no one to blame but yourself. Like I really can't emphasize. Now, before we get, I wanna take a moment and say thank you to all the people who don't donate to the show. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for not caring if my adorable pug, Marjorie Tyrell-Bilesnick eats tonight. Thank you for not caring if my adorable pug Marjorie Tyrell Bosnick eats tonight.

Thank you. You can figure out Callis in Difference to Tom's horrifying financial and personal choices. I have a middle name. Marjorie Tyrell Bosnick. She's on Instagram. You guys should check her out. She's great. I understand.

What is the question? Is there the question? Marjorie Tyrant. We call her match for sure. We pick up from the rivers that don't call her match all the time, but that's on her birth certificate. On her pet insurance, which she has. Yeah, pet insurance on her pet insurance.

Oh my God, you got a fucking extended watch too Her happen to her she has happen to her it's oh Jesus. She got my shirts before you guys She does she does I know Cuz I love her at least somebody would write the policy They look at a pug who like yeah the pug is basically an in-bred structural deficit. We'll give it a policy. Eli tries to get a policy. They're like, no, we're taping out. We're taping out.

We're taping out. Tom, guess how much my Pugs health insurance costs a month? Oh God. $17.53. Oh, you're adorable. Anyone have a guess? Anyone have a guess? Oh God. $12 a month. $12 and $12.53. Oh, you're adorable. Anyone have a guess? Anyone have a guess? Oh, God.

$12 a month. $12 and $12 a month. I would fund a hundred- You can buy a bargain month through. 12. It's a platinum plan. Fuck you. There are humans that don't have health insurance.

Like, I miss call. Yes. I would beat my dog a death with a shovel for $99.99. Are they like on this call? I would keep my dog a death with a shovel for 99, 99, 99. I love my dog, I wouldn't do that. Come to my house, hang around, sit on my wife's lap, interrupt my sex life, I'll pay for your health insurance, that's all I'm saying. I'm gonna take you up on that offer, actually. I'm gonna come to your house. I'm gonna sit on your wife's lap.

I'm gonna interrupt your sex life. And damn it, when I'm done, I want free health insurance. I'm gonna come to your house. I'm gonna sit on your wife's lap. I'm gonna interrupt your sex life. And damn it, when I'm done, I want free health insurance. I'm gonna come to your house. I'm gonna sit on your wife's lap.

I'm gonna interrupt your sex life. And damn it, when I'm done, I want free health insurance. I'm gonna come to your house. I'm gonna come to your house. I'm gonna sit on your wife's lap. I'm gonna interrupt your sex life. And damn it, when I'm done, I want free health insurance. I'm gonna guys don't mind, I'm just doing CrossFit on the bed! WHAA! WHAA! This one calls the Jerry! They've never got who died!

Do it! You're dead now! Moving on, thank you! Those people who don't donate for not compensating Cecil for doing like seven of the five jobs it takes to run the show. Thank you for being deaf to the suffering that heath endures every time he can't afford to drink a decent glass of scotch while staring dreamily into the middle distance, which is 99.98% of his life.

And really, really? Thank you for not caring about Noah, whose body is held together somehow only by cigarette ash and pedantry. And for these to see, every doctor simultaneously and immediately, but remains uninsured, unlike my pug. You, non-donors, are the reason we're all gonna die young and alone. Now, of course, if you rather see us fat and happy, healthy, mildly intoxicated,

you can join the ranks of all decent people and support us on Patreon. Stick around to the end of the show and we'll tell you how. Now that you know you should mildly intoxicated Eli. Really? Yeah, that was the one I feel like we average out to my bread like you for take all of us. We're all like a drunk guy trying to fight a cop. And with that image out of the way, tell us, so what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon or event? Will we be talking about today? Today will be tacky with knowledge as we talk about the great molasses. There's no puns. And Tom, two things we know to be true. One, you're my best friend. And two, you didn't forget to prepare the essay this week. Did you? Right? Like, like the gypsy said, it would only be once every five

weeks. So you did read the article, right? Yeah, I did. I read it. And frankly, I am insulted by the insinuation, clearly based on facts that I might not have. How dare you hold me accountable for the things I do or don't do? I don't want to be accountable for what I do or what I want to do. It's only 58% is not bad decision you made. Can we just agree not to hold me accountable for stuff? Can we just, can that be the new arrangement? Not until we elect your president. I'm gonna print something.

So the molasses flood sounds like a sticky situation. Thank you. Thank you. Garrison Keeler money please. I got a lot of pugged at to pay off. Who has pugged at? Well, it was a sticky situation, Eli and occurred in Boston on January 15, 1919, in a massive tank of molasses burst and sent a 25 foot tall weight of liquefied grandma dust, barreling through Boston at 35 miles an hour, going 21 people and injuring 150 others.

How the fuck does it get up to 35 miles an hour? Were they trying to find the Higgs boson inside Syrup's room? What was happening there? They were trying to find the Nana particle. But more importantly, what the fuck were those people doing in Boston? What the hell is there to do but get killed by a sucrose tsunami anyway? You can be a racist. That's a fun thing to do in Boston. Be a racist, right?

I don't know if it's a fun thing, but it's like the thing. Right. Exactly. All right. So here's how this madness happens, right? The purity distilling company has this massive tank of molasses. So fucking massive, in fact, that it held 2.3 million gallons of the stuff. The tank was 50 feet high and 90 feet in diameter.

Wow. All right. Math checks out. It'd be closer to 2.4 million gallons, but I guess they didn't fill it to the brim. You don't want to go to the brim because that would be excessive to fill that all the way. Right. Right.

Now, that would have sped it up to 37 miles an hour. That's clearly above safe residential speed. Yeah. And you know in Boston that molasses would have gotten pulled over. Oh, yeah. Because it's brown. Because it's brown. I made a racist there.

And it's all the problem I shoot again. Fascinating story so far, Tom. Yeah, killer fall up to new Coke. Thank you. I made a tough on him. Yeah, I know. I hate to follow that. A wave of sugar that destroyed lives.

There's a thing. And as much as I'd like to hear about the hypotenuse of sugar that destroyed lives. There's nothing. And as much as I'd like to hear about the hypotenuse of the tank, which I'm sure no and Heath were just about to argue about, tell me what possible use would anyone have for that much molasses? Right. He wouldn't have a diagonal. That's whatever. If you think I know what hyp thought this means, you are wrong.

Well, for alcohol, you lie. Like all good things that quickly turn tragic. John? No. But, no. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, in an attempt to get ahead of prohibition, the purity distilling company had filled its molasses tank to capacity.

Well, you know, over capacity hasn't turned out, because molasses can be fermented to make rum and to key ingredient for other types of alcohol and it's also used for ethanol, which is a key ingredient for munitions. So really, they were covering both sides of the prohibition equation, actually. The purity distilling company, perhaps poorly named, given these motivations,

was getting ready for a very weird party. Okay, well, kind of judgmental. Maybe we just say party. Whatever type of party. So the molasses tank itself was constructed shotally, like crazily, shotally, right? The thickness of the walls of the tank were only half as thick as they should have been, which the Wikipedia article even says they qualify that by saying even by the lax standards of the day,

not just by like how thick it actually should have been, but like yeah, in 1919. And the steel itself lacked manganese, which I don't know what that it is, but it sounds important. And it turns out without it, the steel is very brittle. Yeah, we should have seen the first tank they made it. It was just made out of child workers. It leaked like a sieve. They're just holding fucking hands, you know? To go off.

More like leaked like a Steve. One of the kids in the joke is named Steve. And this, also the word that Cecil wrote was siff. But it is spelled S-I. It's very similar to Steve. It's very similar. And I thought that word was pronounced C. Can we move on now?

Should we? Anything else? Can we transition away from your awful joke? All right, so the tank also had not been tested. Like they built this tank to hold 2.3 million gallons of molasses and they tested it exactly never, like even with water, they didn't even put water in it. Like hey, does it hold liquids? I don't know. So when they filled it for the first time, it leaked so badly that they had to fix it. Like, hey, does it hold liquids? I don't know. So when they filled it for the first time, it leaked so badly that they had to fix it. So care to guess how they fix

this thing? Overactive bladder medication giant, giant condom. The finger of a Dutch child. Very name Steve. A duck. A duck. Fuck. It's, he'll be in tomorrow rocks. It is cross their fingers in front of it. Not almost as stupid. They just painted it brown. That's what?

That's how it affects it. Cause it'll look the same color as what's leaking out of it now. Because paint to get brown, that's how you fix giant metal cylinders that are under incredible pressure, just like with brown paint. The thing leaks so badly in fact that the locals would show up and they would just fill their home like molasses containers, I don't know, I have the same molasses I've had for like fucking 30 years, you know, like how much are they using, but still they go, they fill it from the leaking tank.

Hey man, are you stealing? No, no, I brought this. Taking it. I brought this can of molasses with me. I came with this country does have a rich tradition of blaming failure on brown things. So and an equally rich tradition of not using a condom when that would have worked back. No brown things joke. Okay.

No, all right. I wrote it and I was like, why he's going to cut it out. So why even mother? Same for the eugenic episode. So this tank was only ever filled a capacity eight times since it had been built. And this is not good because that meant that the tank was placed under intermittent cyclical stress. Now, I don't know exactly what that means, but I know from context that that's not a good stress. That's not a good point. Let me try to explain it to you. Imagine eating fiber only three times a year.

Your colon has intermittent cyclical stress. So you're dying. It's what I'm saying. You're dying. You always say that to me. You always say that. Quick question. It hurts.

Does the sleeve around the hot pocket count as fiber? Absolutely. The cardboard one. Totally. Yeah. That basically is raising. So Tom, what happened? So wait a minute. I want to go back to

the fiber, like three times in the same year, like that seems excessive. Like that's crazy. You don't listen to jogger man over there. Talk about the molasses tank killing the people we don't care about. You're a good fucking eating fiber. Drinking water out of a weird bottle you can eat. Don't even know what you're talking about. Edible water bottles, way the future where all my money is my money. You're gonna go broke. Shake them out. It's that in Pug and Church.

So just days before the disaster itself, they've got the huge tank of molasses and then they add like warmer molasses to the tank. And then later the outside air temperatures rose. Unseason was happening January to four above 40 degrees. So did they add champagne? Yeah. Right. Fuck. Well, they, I mean, nearly did right because fermentation began to occur naturally within a tank and a side effect of fermentation is carbon dioxide,

which only serves to increase the pressure inside the aforementioned, shoddily built storage tank. The fuck is happening in this place? Okay, we got a million gallons of hot molasses for you. You want to cool it down or just pour it right in. Another guy, what are we fucking babies? Yeah, start pouring it in. Cool it down.

Take it. Now we have 2.3 million gallons of fermenting molasses sitting in a shotally built storage tank. The pressure inside the tank eventually proved to be too much and at 12.30 in the afternoon to tank, probably thinking it's girlfriend had stepped outside, finally relaxed and burst forth, setting 2.3 million gallons of molasses blasting through the street. And the tank was all like, I'm so sorry, that's never happened to me. It's because Boston's such a pretty same.

And the collapse was so severe that it caused the ground to shake. It sounded like a sustained thunder clap and it sent rivets flying from the destroyed tank with a sound like machine gun fire. Yeah, that's why they won't let me wear a button down shirts to the buffet anymore to you. PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING PING Somebody loses one eye and it's like a thing now. Oh, look at me. I'm Cecil. I can wear a button down shirt without looking like I'm

turning into a werewolf now. To real continue. I will. Werewolf is spelled W E A R W O L here. The wall is where we're going close. I don't see it. It's pretty great. It's pretty great. Makes sense. Thank you. It's gonna be exact. It's amazing. All right. It makes sense. It makes sense. It's going to be exact. It's amazing. All right. You guys know that phrase slower than molasses? He does. Does not apply in this case.

The molasses rushed through Boston at 35 miles an hour. This wall of sticky goo, 25 feet high. It was so powerful. It knocked buildings off the foundation and then crushed them underneath the wave. A truck was hurled by molasses. That's a hurl into the Boston Harbor. A railway car was knocked over and the steel girders of the elevated railway system nearby were mangled beyond recognition. All right. We get it. Some light property damage. What you do about nothing.

Good topic, Tom. All right, seems like a good time to take a break. Make some sugar cookies and enjoy our interstitial skit music apropos of nothing. Coming this fall. I'm one of them we enshrouded in horrible women. As am I, I somehow have a woman mallet. A disaster about to strike. Ah, that was a great fucking fight we just had. What should we do about this leaky fucking tank?

I fucking told you, bruh, we paint it brown, and then we go home to, uh, We had brick houses filled with baseball memorabilia, we are convinced we'll grow in value. Summer 2018 oh no the tank exploded. I'm wearing high heels all the time as am I and I have a dead baby's name tattooed on my neck molasses Well, Tom, I think you were boring us with a disaster that could easily have been solved by a sufficiently sized pancake if you could put molasses. I don't know.

I don't know. My dad had a job, so I don't know what molasses is for. Not my thing. Like good Eli, but it'd have to be a pancake made by Satan himself because in addition to the as you put it light property damage that we discussed, this tidal wave of slime moves so fast that it had a sort of blast wave in front of it. And according to reports, people in front of the molasses were picked up and hurled by the air itself in front of this delicious tsunami. Others had debris hurled at them by the sweet smelling tornado of destruction. Well, see, I had 1919 Patrick Swazie on a surfboard.

It's like, stop snaking my wave, bro. 100% here, bro. Sure, surfers just stuck in the name spot the whole time kind of sideways. It's like man, it's the 100 year wave, except for in this case, it takes 100 years for the waves to actually go down. All right, but this massive molasses flatulence name in my rush cover band by the way, it's hardly the worst there, right? Here's a quote from the Boston post.

molasses waste deep covered the street and swirls. This is the Boston Post. I don't think they would have sounded like that. I can't do that. molasses waste. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't. Melissa's ways. Definitely. You have been to glasses. Molasses waste deep cover the street and swirled and bubbled about the wreckage here and there struggle to form whether it was animal or human being was impossible to tell only an upheaval of thrashing in the sticky mass showed where any life life was. Horses died like so many flies on sticky fly paper.

The more they struggled, the deeper in the mess they were ensnared, human beings, men and women suffered likewise. Before I say anything else, I just want to say the writing on that fucking Boston post article is so much better than the fucking writing But I also want to point out to human beings Men and women is the quote we're cool with molasses fluidity, but not She's drowning sorry there She's drowning. Sorry, they're, they are, they are drowning. Zero drowning. Sorry. I'm so sorry. And Jordan Peterson's just frozen on the side. He doesn't know what to do.

No, it just counting his money. I'm fine. Turned out, I'm okay. So it gets still far more awful actually because the molasses was so thick covering several blocks and up to three feet of cookie ingredients that's sort of shouting a tray you and people as they sang. Rescue was struggled to even reach the victims, suffocate it and crushed in the mud. It's a pretty sweet way to die though. I feel like I'd be cool with it just like slowly sinking down, licking my fingers, doing a thumbs up like the terminator. This is good. All the rescuers are just throwing licorice ropes at you. A giant lifesavers tied to the end.

No. I don't think we take the time to really appreciate on this podcast enough how chill he would be about. Right. So delicious drowning. So what kind of aftermath are we looking at? We want a baseball game kind of stuff or we lost the baseball what kind of aftermath are we looking at? We want a baseball game kind of stuff or we lost the baseball game kind of stuff. What do we? Remarkably so this is

what in the 19 this about a hundred years of losing at baseball for Boston, starting right about now. Yeah. So injuries from this mess range from crushing injuries and those that were smashed by this molasses wave and attendant debris to just like instant lung diabetes like as many tried to fit air in between these sugary lung sips that they had a tape. So the boss and police and red cross the army and the navy all showed up. They waited in a help. They literally had a way to help their reports of nurses having to dive cross the army and then Navy all showed up. They waited in a help. They literally

had a way to help their reports of nurses having to dive into the molasses and swim their way to the victims. I feel like some of the victims must have got super mad at this point. Like, hey, man, I'm seriously going to drown the slow mo swimming bit. Not fucking funny. Jesus stop humming chariots of fire. That's not cool. So 150 people were injured and makeshift hospitals had to be set up in nearby buildings like the ones that weren't like crushed by the wave of molasses, right? It takes 21 people are killed. It takes four days before search efforts for victims were finally called off. Many of the dead were so glazed over in molasses, they were hard to recognize. It's like a Rachel Ray Pompeii. A couple hundred million years, someone's going to fight another body and make a Jurassic Park or like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a He's just like, oh my God, look at how many fucking Spanish people there are.

We'll be back. We'll be back. Ah, the candy. We'll be in the candy again. So tell us Tom, how do they clean this mess up? And don't tell me it didn't involve three of the hardest bacon, Mimas, you've ever left. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Clean up efforts were so absurd that they actually don't even know when they stopped. In fact, for decades, actual decades after the molasses flood, residents claim to be able to smell molasses on warm days. They hosed the city down in saltwater. They scoured it in sand and the harbor was brown until summer. Remember, this happened in January. The harbor was brown until summer from all the molasses run off.

Yeah, in that end, it's Boston. That's right. You're right. That's fair. So according to other reports, which I didn't understand because they were strangely and unnecessarily past tense, it said, quote, everything a Bostonian touched was sticky. I just picture like a six month period of Bostonians leaving their apartments like a bunch of man-sized wacky wall walkers sticking on the way down.

It's a good thing Planned Parenthood doesn't keep those 2.3 million gallon vats of babies in a row. Good for who? Boston, I guess. All right. So after all this fucking mess, the resident sued. And then the purity distilling company tried to defend themselves by claiming that the molasses tank that was leaking already and painted brown to cover up the problem was blown up by anarchists.

That didn't work. Nobody believed that. So the survivor's got about $7,000 and a gift bag of gingerbread. It's only they had the help of 4chan back then, right? Those motherfuckers were to found them some anarchists So tell us Tom if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence what would it be? Fast as fast can be you'll never outrun the gingerbread man semen Google to end bookmark Tom

Google to end bookmark 35 miles an hour. That's how fast it is. All right. Okay. And Tom, now that you've drowned us in the sweet, sweet smell of poor people, tears, are you ready to take our quiz? Well, he lies.

Since everything I do has a reduced viscosity and a high likelihood of disaster, I think that I am. All right, Tom, while the molasses flood is the most famous fatal American confectionary disaster, it was not the most deadly. Which of the following sugar based calamities actually had a higher death toll than this 1919 flood? Was it a new Coke? Really push about that one thing.

Be fructoshima. Sorry, I had a long week. I had to do this the last minute. C, the halada smore. Or was it D? What it turned out Eli actually would do for a clon like that day, day easy day. Yeah, I didn't want to make it tough on you. I didn't want to. I'm a man of my word. John Bene, oh, all right, time I got on for you. All right. Which was another terrible side effect of the molasses flood had on bastonians. A partially adhered lips make them make them say car weird.

They say like, car. That's weird. Fights were over faster because their hand would get stuck and the other guy's beard after like the first punch. I like that it seems like everybody that fight has a beard. Like it's just it's possible. Even the women. There's like a beard assumption that it's built in. See slow motion fling of the rapeseen.

Shelton. See slow motion fleeing of the rap scene. Jesus. I thought it was a terrible side of her. D, it was harder for the women to throw their babies away. We know it's not D. We know. C's violates the terms of the question. B, I don't know, it's a beard assumption. I don't feel 100% comfortable. I'm going to have to go A, that's the Cah, the Cah.

It is the Cah, the Cah. It is the Cah, I'm in Havagad. All right, and Tom, for your final question. Oh, no. No, it's not final. Five questions. The one before the last one. To wrap it up, penultimate question. To wrap up the penultimate question.

The ultimate question. God, think of it. Damn it, just answer the question. Risk, all right. L'Assus is a thing in the past obviously, but Is a thriving city what giant holding tank threatens to destroy the beloved city of green angels today Is it a warehouse for Mark Wahlbergs? A warehouse like full of Mark Wahlbergs wrap up.

Is it me? A water tank full of hair gel. See an ill-fated pumping truck full of clam chattel or D, a baseball team full of races. Well, I feel like you do that one in to fool me and I'm not going to bite. You know, I don't know anything about baseball. So no, I'm not going to go with that one. It's got to be the truck full of clam chattel. I am sorry, Tom.

It is a baseball team full of racists, baseball team full of racists. I'm pretty sure it's C the the We have to We have to I forgot this is how this works. You are All right, second to last question for you, Tom. So getting killed by a rogue wave of molasses

is obviously hilarious. Which of the following food-based deaths would also cause laughter at the funeral? Would it be a, somebody getting hit by an actual train full of gravy and dying? Is it, be Sean Spicer dying from an embolism? Is it be a bubble in his bloodstream? Because he's a crazy person who eats gum. Doesn't have a job anymore either. So, you know, hit us up. Is it C? The fat kid. We saw it. Pequads drowning in his deep-dish pizza.

That would have been hilarious at any moment. That kid made it. He's not a quitter. So. Or is it D the Pope choking on the body of Christ at communion? That is. I don't have to go Sean Spicer. I would I would laugh at that funeral.

If I was allowed to attend, I think you might do a media blackout for it right before. No, it's actually not be apparently. It's one of the other three. Terrible. And since he had the first question to, shall we say, my or Tom in the muck? Yes. You could have added that. You could just add it that. You could have added that. You know, you could have added that.

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You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could have added that. You could Questionable victory is the option to choose next week as is. So, ETH, who gets stuck doing the work next week? Oh, Sam, I'm going Cecil, my best friend, perfect, and of course. Now we'll pause and let Noah's life read last week's winning Twitter answer and next week's Twitter question. Thanks, Eli. So, last week we asked you to make any product better by adding the word new and one ingredient.

And we got some phenomenal submissions. Hard to pick a favorite, but ultimately our winner this week is at PBR misfit who tweeted New Trump. Now with adverbs. Thanks to Mad Libs, New Trump features five new descriptions besides big and great. Also want to give an honorable mention to at Kith Cannon who had new Tom and now with divorce papers. So congrats to PBR Miss Vitt and if you'd like a chance to win next week all you have to do is

retweet this week's show or share it on Facebook along with your answer to this week's question and that would be with 2.3 million gallons of molasses just lying around, what would be a good dish or recipe for other foodstuffs scraped off the city streets? Good luck, and now back to Eli. Well for Tom, Cecil, Noah and Heath Ami-Lai, thank you for hanging out with us today, we'll be back next week and by then, Cecil will be an expert on something else. Between now and then you can listen to us, Horace and Horang stupid people for their stupidity on our other mediums of mockery, such as God awful movies for movies, the scathing atheism and the scepticrat for politics. Cecil and Tom can be found ordering excessive amounts of food because they have working colons while they laugh themselves stupid over cognitive incidents. And if you'd like to help keep this show going and never have me do an intro

where I tell you about the consequences of your jeetness, ever again, you can make a per episode donation. Patreon.com slash citation pod or leave us a five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like the show to stop going, pay someone to kill Cecil. If you'd like to get in touch with us check out past episodes, connect with us on social media or check the show notes. Be sure to check out citationpod.com and remember, if you spank your kids, you're not allowed to listen to our show. It's an optional sign off! SINUP!