Citation Needed - The Lost Cause of the Confederacy

Episode Date: September 6, 2017

The Lost Cause of the Confederacy, or simply Lost Cause, is a literary and intellectual movement[1] that describes the Confederate cause as a heroic one against great odds despite its defeat. The beliefs endorse the virtues of the antebellum South, viewing the American Civil War as an honorable struggle for the Southern way of life,[2] while minimizing or denying the central role of slavery. While it was not taught in the North, aspects of it did win acceptance there and helped the process of reunifying American whites. --- Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details.

Oh my God. Tom, what did you do? I branded Eli. See, it says, not a Jew. No, right there on his skin, I fixed him. Why in the world would you do that? Eli, look, I know we're not best friends, but fuck, I'm so sorry about this. Oh, right on the nipple, why would you do that?

I guess, I don't know, I just got swept up in the moment. He says reading about the lost cause of the Confederacy and it was kind of like this, you know, like his rebranding of the Civil War and so that, you know, like rebrand Eli. So he doesn't have to be a Jew anymore. Because my best friend, it worked for the South. It worked for the South. Are you fucking kidding? Have you been to the South, Tom?

You think it works? He's branded him? That's how this works. I mean, how did you been to the South Tom? You think it works? He's branded him? That's how this works. I mean, how did you even get a branding iron? I mean, it was kind of like a custom thing, but you're blacksmith. Carl, Carl made this for you fucking Carl. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't cheap.

I mean, but I'm sorry, I don't mean to be the pet or anything. But you said rebranding. And so far you only I smell barbacue you guys hungry I smell barbacue like not good barbecue, but barbacue still best friends What is that a bokeh burger Hi. Hello. This is Citation Needed. Welcome to it. This is the podcast where we choose

a subject. Read a single article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts. This is the internet. And Sheriff Joe deserved a break. And I'm pretty sure this is payback for my eugenics episode and uh... my next topic which is joe rp.a. by the way whatever people being jealous of my proud nazi dna is pretty standard but i'm not alone in winning the genetic lottery joining me today are two x men waiting to discover how all that hair growth makes them more powerful please welcome elai and Cecil. It's okay,

I look like Deadpool under this hair anyway. I have the power to have a cowlick and be balding all at the same time. And also during his tonight are two men who, although not rebels, clearly have no cause. please welcome Noah and Tom. Hey if I didn't exist someone else would have to be me right that's my cause I'm taking one for the team. Insert clever introduction here. Did I do that right I feel that's what it says in that you write an introductory. You are the essay I'm just gonna be a short episode I'm gonna get the mother bugger and I supposed to write something

like down Riffin come on just like all the other podcasts Wait, wait, please tell me All right, so before we begin We need to pause and thank all of our patrons for giving us their money. Please keep doing that. We need it and we want it.

And we'll say almost anything if you give it to us. So pretty much we're all just like that Thai hooker I fell in love with. We're getting up to it. We're getting up to it. Pointing, we are grateful to have hooker money and to be job creators. And if you're not a patron already, be sure to stick around to the end of the show for all the important details on becoming one of them. And with that out of the way, tell us Eli, what person, place, thing, concept, phenomenon

or event will we be talking about today? Today we're going to be talking about the lost cause of the Confederacy, Heath. Wonderful. And Tom, you browsed or hopefully at least perused or something. You're being really silent. Please say you read the article. You did read the article, right? Because that's like, that's like the whole show.

This reputation I have for untrustworthyness, while entirely fair and earned it, it hurts. Heath, it hurts. Okay, well, nobody cares about your feelings. So, but then any dreams you might have for financial stability, tell us Tom, what is the last cause? Well, we just need 58% more patrons' heath and I'll be just fine.

So, not that percentage is worth. I clearly don't know how percentages work, or I wouldn't be in this fix. So what percentage caribou is a move? By now, that feud has been going through. It's gotten ugly. The loss caused the Confederacy is the attempt to rebrand the Civil War from being a war fought to protect the institution of slavery to an imagined war of Northern Aggression aimed to destroying the honorable way of life in the South. Because that was the problem. Branding people, people branding, it's the part of the problem.

Admittedly, the marketing is a tough sell. You need different strategies for each model. You have one for the sport, one for the economy, and one of the problem. Admittedly, the marketing is a tough sell. You need different strategies for each model. You have one for the sport, one for the economy, and one for the house. Oh, she's... Okay. Right, got it. Well, I can't imagine why you chose this topic now, Tom.

Kind of a weird one to pick out of nowhere. I did one about science following Charles the whole way versus a matter. Please continue. I know this is odd, by the way, in the middle of recording, but your teaky tor following. So it was a matter. Please continue. I know this is odd, by the way, in the middle of recording, but he, your teaky torches are all over my living room. And if you're having a barbecue, have your bar, Tom, Tom was the one who's talking, Tom, go ahead, please. Thank you for not interrupting you, Lionel.

All right, I got you, Heath. I got you. All right, don't worry about it. Look, so here's the deal. When the loser's south lost, that loss experienced by the losers hurt the feelings of those losers. Like it hurt them a lot. You see, prior to losing, which they did, the southern believed that their rich military history and dedication to the cause of honor would lead them to an inevitable victory.

This as you may know didn't happen. They lost like losers and this devastated many in the South, not only economically and politically, but also emotionally. You see, it turns out it snows pretty far south of the Mason Dixon line because a lot of precious snowflakes got a case of the big sats. Or are they foresaw burgeoning market and passive aggressive racist t-shirts at my high school way and it was one the other or both. Also a pretty good market for aggressive aggressive racist stuff. It's just selling pretty well. Like the Dodge Challenger for example.

In the south. Now many in the south refuse to believe that they lost the war because, you know, they were losers, but instead they believe that the north won the war through greater numbers and the superiority of the Yankee industrial machine, which to me sounds just like they lost, but that's like the way they lost. But, you know, what do I know? I just, I still have teeth. So, yeah, I still lost even if it's because you won, right? Yeah, it's like the glasses have full of sweet teeth. So yeah, I still lost even if it's because you won. Right? Yeah, it's like the glass is half full of sweet tea. Or like a glass that looks like it's half full of sweet tea,

but it's actually dip spit. I think you're drinking anyways, because you don't want to admit you are wrong about it being half full of sweet tea. And then Russia's like, we made you drink dip spit idiot. And you're like, nah, nah, nah. Remember her emails? Tricky, tricky emails. Now the lost cause really started as a literary reimagining of the South, gone in this imagining where the cruelties of slavery, the new revisionist version of slavery was one of benevolent master's shift. Slays were taught to be Christians, so somehow this was a mitigating factor in owning other human beings because Jesus loved them, like all three fifths of... Oh, shit.

Love the work, hate the worker, it's a common religious thing, actually. Fun fact also, how I treat restaurants. Absolutely. All burdens matter. That's absolutely. All burdens matter. That's the word. Now, plantations where we imagine is romantic homes of Magnolia-centred splendor were gentlemen sought the honor of a good woman's affection. Yeah, like a massage parlor.

Were they not like plantations? Still, I just want to point this out. They really liked owning other people, like people who weren't allowed to learn to read. That's not the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's the way that's And so it's hard to use the word gentlemen to describe someone who might send dogs to hunt a human being attempting to escape from all of that gentility. Well, I'm not positive that these things are mutually exclusive time. I'm sure they were very nice to the dogs.

So she's just, well, I mean, there are less genteel animals you could use. Right? I mean, I imagine how much more embarrassing it would be if you just let out a team of badass hands. They never catch you. They're on a wheel. Did they have slaves powering stuff with human hamster wheels? Is that okay? No, no, because they were gentile. Well, loud, loud, we're going to do that. Really weird, prequel to infinite dress.

Now, Jefferson Davis in his book, The Rise and Fall, The Confederate Government, and he argued that the North was solely responsible for whatever of bloodshed, of devastation or shock to Republican government has resulted from the war. And he also argued that Yankees fought with quote, a baracity that disregarded all the laws of civilized warfare. Jefferson Davis was also quoted on this subject saying quote, as a mere historical fact, we have seen that African servitude among us confessedly the mildest and most humane of all institutions to which the name slavery has ever been applied. Existing all the original states and then it was recognized and protected in the fourth article of the constitution.

He said that, by the way, because he was a racist. Yeah, he's also quoted saying, look, we gave Manestigi before we skinned and burned him alive and then fucked his roasted corpse. What more do you want? Come on. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm automatically the bad guy for owning another person. I thought this was America.

Now that we lost. It's America. Yeah, we were the best of all of the slavery. The best one. Come on. The penthouse at Auschwitz was actually pretty nice. Like they were like a nice appearance. Let's not paint it all at the same box.

Good view of his smoke stacks. Now later, General Robert E. Lee, statue recently of some fame, the general of the Confederate Army, that's the army that didn't win. Oh, by the way. Oh, yeah. He tried to justify his losing by demanding to know the size of the Union Army. And despite the fact that size isn't everything, he tried to weasel out of being a loser and making the other losers feel better for losing, believing that knowing the size of the opposing army would get the world to understand, not that they

had lost their violent attempt to secede in order to protect a peculiar institution of owning other human beings and treating them like disposable meat machines. But rather, he felt that if history did not understand that they had fought a bigger army, that it would be, quote, difficult to get the world to understand the odds against which we fought. Yeah. Well, when his ex-wife married that black guy, he also blamed that on-site, too. Now, it's more accurate that time, I think.

Was she a big lady? Is that what you mean? Either way, a strong campaign down south can usually make up for size. I love his logic though here because basically that's like, guys, no one in the world agreed with us. That's how no one knows. Right? Now, this law's cause narrative was helped along by a host of memorial associations such

as the United Confederate veterans, the United host of memorial associations such as the United Confederate veterans, the United daughters of the Confederacy and the ladies memorial association. Ironically, institutions that are still around, although no longer veterans, daughters or laymen. They built monuments and memorials honoring rather than mourning the fallen Confederate soldier. By casting the South as an honorable people doomed to inevitable defeat by the overwhelming industrial might of the materialist North, and the beatification of Southern war heroes, the narrative of the law of the law's cause became, according to US Army General George Henry Thomas, quote, a species of political

cant whereby the crime of treason might be covered with a counterfeit varnish of patriotism. So the precipitators of the rebellion might go down in history, hand in hand with the defenders of the government, thus wiping out with their own hands, their own stains, a species of self forgiveness, amazing, and it's a fronterry. So in other words, hey, we're both a little drunk. Let's just agree that we're both wrong, okay? Bro hug. Bro hug. Bro hugs.

Right. I are the best way to make up for accidentally having sex with your buddy. I'm just saying. I don't know. I don't know. Kind of disagree. And on that note, we're going to take a break from David Barton's American History class for a little and his favorite news of mid episode mayhem.

I'll propose of nothing. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey! Here he is! Well, the backfill! Yeah, welcome back, so good to see you're up and moving around! Thanks, guys he is. Welcome back Phil. Yeah, welcome back. So good to see you up and moving around. Thanks guys. Thanks.

I appreciate it. It's really nice to see all of you too. Hey, you didn't forget how to debug software while you were out. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. I'm good.

Phil, I hope you don't mind. We moved your cubicle. We know with the walker it's going to be difficult to navigate to your old space. So we just decided not at all. Thanks so much for thinking of me. I really means a lot. And Phil, we just want you to know that we are so sorry. What happened at all. We just like, you know, I know, fellas. I know. I'm sorry. Oh, okay. Okay. okay, let's not get all super teary. We need to get to work, but before we do, we wanted to give you a little something.

Oh, you guys didn't have to, no, no, no, we all chipped in and we got this for you. Jim, take the cover off. So, you like it? We all threw in some money, had it made. It's a statue of the drunk driver. The drunk driver! Yeah, we were all really proud of how it turns out.

Dave, fun fact, knows someone into 3D printing, and we had a photo, so he's the man that killed my wife and son. Yeah, yeah, I was shocked at how quick we got it too. Good find on that printing guy, Dave. Thanks. He broke my back and ruined my life. Why in the hell would I want to statue of him? We didn't want you to forget.

Are your kids, or your kids, kids, if you... How in the hell would we have forgot is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Well, hold on. We shouldn't be erasing history fill even if it's history. We don't like. That's good. Just that have to do with it. And why does it say be careful on icy rose? He hit us in July. He had a point to one blood alcohol level. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's not jump to conclusions as to why the accident happened. What?

We don't know what he was thinking. And, you know, be careful of icy roads. It's just good all around advice. Yeah, so I can't believe you guys did this. Get this thing out of here. I don't ever want to look at it again. It makes me sick. Ugh.

He is not gonna like the full scale recreation of the accident site we had done in the break room. Well, that was fun. Was supposed to be fun, whatever. So now that we know the Civil War was actually not a treasonous attempt at sedition by horrible bigots, tell us Tom, how did the lost cause narrative explain the noble cause of responsible servitude creation?

Well, mostly with bullshit euphemisms, just like that. They basically pretended this wasn't like, you know, like a legitimate slavery. It wasn't, you know, slavery slavery. It was benevolent slavery for real. But that is fine. The idea was that the African Americans who were forcibly imprisoned and owned and forced to work against their will at the risk of being beaten, killed and hunted by dogs were really treated better than you might think.

You know, because some of the slave masters were kind of not mean always. Everybody forgets those ones. It's kind of not fair. Yeah. And the slaves of the American Dream 2, 2.5 kids because one of their kids was cut in half from lashing. So the college classrooms, no shouting, and isn't that what matters? That's the real people.

Yeah. And it's about fair and equal access to UT Austin for mediocre white girls. That's the way. Anyway, what are the religious idiots in the American South think about the revisionist history? And surprisingly, religious dipsheds felt that losing the war was a punishment for their sins. Slavery incidentally, not a sin. not a sin. Genesis 17 12 Exodus 12 42 21 21 1 20 and 32 Leviticus 22 10 and 25 44 Luke 7 2 and Colisean closions. Closet bag.

Coliseum's. Well, but maybe some of the masters weren't sticking to the two day concussion rule, like a good Christian, or a good NFL commissioner. Good, but the problem. Well, like the religious leaders, they seized on this new narrative, right? They liked it. They told a bullshit story about how everybody best go to church and avoid that mess ever happening again.

The moral virtue of the South was now in play for these folks, and the clergy used that insecurity to insert themselves as prominent characters, protecting the South from further calamity. They probably, and I'm just doing a wild guess here, guys, also incidentally took in a lot of tides. You think? But also definitely. Yeah, no, I tried to reach a religious leader for comment on their historical tendency to cash in on tragedies, but they were all busy in Texas. Oh, somebody is. I'm gonna hold of anyone.

Take a photo of me with this sandbag so I can helicopter the fuck out of this hell. Don't try to get your Mexicans in my mega church. That's where I keep my teeth. I'm getting closer to my teeth. Missionary accomplished. Okay, Tom, question for you. Did this new story have any female characters, or was it like all the way sausage party? Yeah, yeah, let's not get misandrous here.

We've got some bad women. All right. There's another excellent and leading question, Heath Bravo. Well, we're in during the war. Thank you. Women's roles changed. They took on a greater and more independent role with other men folk off toward dying of dysentery and bad teeth. When they lost, which they did, the women of the Confederacy formed a number of organizations dedicated to trying to tell themselves that this all hadn't been pointless and their sons and husbands hadn't just died miserable and alone gut shot in a field, you know, for nothing. Okay, but to be fair, gut shot in a field is more glorious than dysentery, which killed quite a few of their sons and husbands. Sitation needed. You're not saying that to me. Pretty glorious.

I'm gonna go get some. Dissentary. Dissentary. Again. It depends on whether or not you got Dissentary to keep slavery. If you got Dissentary on the name of slavery, I think it's more noble.

All right. Are we going by distance? Okay. So if I survived my Dissentary before he dies of a gunshot, I get a slay. I would use wind. Who wins?shot, I get a slay. You would win the win. The slay. The slay.

You guys have weird rules for fantasy football. I gotta tell you. That hardcore history guy won't return my call. Does anybody return your calls at this point? Nope. All right. So they made a lot of statues and stuff and they formed a bunch of social groups that retold their high school football stories to relive the glory days. And these statues are still just fucking all over the damn place. And even

though this is a total whitewashing of the reality of the Civil War, these stupid bronze calling cards to racism are still really beloved by idiots. Yeah, racist statues. That's the passive aggressive post-it notes of the South. I lived in the South Cecil, and I assure you that the passive aggressive racist post-it notes of the South are just racist post-it notes. There's ones that are saying like, remember to call police about black man and Mercedes for example if you don't Have my workplace reminders check the trellaboard Noah optimal workflow

Who moved my cheese probably a black Okay, well, uh, nobody still believes the Confederacy was good anymore, right? That's some like flatter stuff at this point, right? Right, Tom? No, no, no, no, no, no. This garbage remake of actual events, it survives. It was in fact popularized by the movies, such as Gone with the Wind and Birth of a Nation, and crazily enough in the 2003 film Gods and Generals. In fact, the group, sons of Confederate veterans, they carry these ideas largely unchanged, not unfortunately into the dustbin of history, but into present day America. The dustbin of history, but into present day America. The dustbin of con.

Sorry. Can you give me that again? You want me to give you your line again? No, I don't understand what I should do. I read my line without flumping it. Now there's a pause and you read your line. Okay. Sorry.

See something. What do I do? This Bad boy right in there then Hello the dustbin of contemporary reality. I love it you wrote yourself a lie. You can't read or tell me. I wrote it in there. I'm like I dare you to write that the way or pronounce it the way you wrote it. And he did actually did.

Temporary reality. Temporary reality. That's when something is contemporary. Sure. Not a lot of people know that. On top of rary reality. Wow. I can't wait to have it.

It means it's gonna be great. No, it's another one for night. In the final, in the final cut of this, it's gonna be great Eli Trust me. Thank you. Beep. Yeah. Well, okay, but Tom, aren't you being a little harsh?

Thank you. That's a hard word for now. It's just a general rule. I don't know about that. I've written the big guns. I bring the Scrabble World. I'm going to jump some. I asked for a fucking retake.

All of a sudden, I got to be, you know, fucking Johannes Gabbler. It's Johannes Himmler. It's a different guy. He was a Hitler elf. Yeah. So speaking of which, what are his story and saying about this, Tom? Well, he they say the same shit is 10 burns. Yeah, that you need to pan and zoom. Right.

Thank you. One of the other. Thank you. Oh, they're saying that succession was motivated largely by slavery and not by some nonsensical bullshit about states, rights and pretty girls eating peaches on the front porch. It's nonsense. Now they say this because the vice president of the Confederacy called slavery quote, the cornerstone of the Confederacy. Come the fuck on really? Right. Okay, but what are you talking about? That stone is all the way in the corner. You guys are crazy. They've called it the center stone, the contemporary reality stone. Yeah. The North basically took away slavery and

yelled, Jenga. And that's how we got the American South of today. Lost its societal Jenga. It's so many ways. Historian Alan Nolan, he wrote, quote, the lost cause legacy to history is a caricature of the truth. The character wholly misrepresented distorts the facts of the matter. Surely it is time to start again in our understanding of this decisive element of our past and to do so from the premises of history unadulterated by the distortions, falsehoods, and romantic sentimentality of the myth of the lost cause. Yeah, like asking historians if the Civil War was really about slavery is like asking astronomers if we really landed on the moon, but for races, for races version.

All that I'm saying is if you can't swim, you can't float, I'm asking the hard questions. All right. Tom, if you had to summarize what you've learned today in one sentence, what would it be? The lost cause is Well done, sir Ed are you ready for a quiz from the panel? I gave myself Dissentary just to get in that civil war move. All right now Tom's in the competition as well Chart will see what are we gonna do?

A lot of physical business going on outside the course. A lot of physical business. All right, Tom. Dessentarian plus bell. He's just gonna get real. Hit it. Hit it.

Hit it. It's on shoot. It's one, two, three shoot. We got four. I have my dick in my head. Okay, Tom, the best way for the South to re-brand is to appropriate someone else's slogan. What should be the South's flag line? Hey, the South, leave the slave driving to us.

B, the South, so easy a caveman can do it. B, the South, so easy a caveman can do it. C, the South, 99 and 44 100s pure. Or D, the South, what can Brown do for you? Well, it's gotta be D, because again, it works on the dysentery level as well. It's us, genuinely. Exactly. It is D. It is D. Okay, Tom, it's obvious that Dissentary level as well. It's us. Genuinely. Exactly. It is D.

It is D. Okay, Tom, it's obvious that this is a great idea. So what's the next history read in the making? Is it A, the baby boom of Nan King? Oh, God. No, I wanted to leave that line. I wanted to leave that line. We're set so many levels.

Thank you. Yeah. B 1948 Germany, AKA the best time in place to work in a toy store. See the Tiananmen military exercises. D New York City's 2001 excavation programs. Oh, I got put the show way faster than the big dig. That's all I'm saying. Oh, take that boss. I love the baby boom of that king. I'm going with that one.

That is correct. I think yeah, two points. See, move on to the lightning round. Yeah. All right. This is hardly the lightning round, but these are true. Which of the following Tom is not something that my high school US history teacher in Pierce County, Georgia, said about the Civil War during class?

A, the Civil War could not be about slavery since only a small percentage of Southern whites own slaves, even though that number was something like one household and three, B blacks, both slaves and free, fought on the Southern side. Even though that's absurdly not true, C industrial workers in the North had at least as bad as slaves themselves. I believe even though there were black students in his class, or was it D that the war was about states rights, even though the declaration for immediate causes that led to the secession

made it clear that they were fighting against states. Right. I'm going to go. I got him. You lived okay, Georgia. So it's got to be the worst one. Yeah. Let's go with, let's go with C. You know, that's a very good instinct, sir,

but it was a trick question since you had to get it wrong. Anyway, the very worst answer is, no, those are all things I was told and then expected to regurgitate it on a God damn test. Oh my gosh. That's monstrous. Like the South. Yeah. The losers that they. Like the South. Yeah.

The losers that they are. They lost. Did anyone catch that theme? They lost because of their losing losers. You're going to get an email. Oh no. I'll harshly worded deletable. Yeah.

Right. No, congrats, I guess. Sure. Who would you like to pick for next week's essay? All right, no, uh, congrats, I guess. Sure. Who would you like to pick for next week's essay? Well, since Cecil was the only one that stuck up for me in the Tigo Bra, hey, episode, I'm going to award him with all the work next week. All right, and here's Sarah with last week's Twitter winner. And this week's audience question.

Thanks, Heath. Last week's question was, what would be the best species for an animal drinking buddy? And what would its favorite drink be? Our favorite answer came from Pittsburgh Atheist on Twitter who wrote, drinking buddy animal, a tapeworm,

drink of choice, scotch, scotch tape, A, A, hashtag, I'm so lonely. Thanks to everyone for submitting answers. This week's assignment is to write a high coup for the lost causers.

Help them rewrite history through poetry. A high coup is a poem of 17 syllables in three lines of 5, 7, and 5. Just retweet or Facebook share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner. Back to you, fellas. All right, well, for Cecil Eli, Noah and Tom, I'm Heath. Hang you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then Cecil will be an expert on something else.

Between now and then, check out Tom and Cecil being forced to hang up on intelligent conservative guests to freshen up their great points on cognitive business. And also check out Eli knowing myself on our open-minded, woke-ass shows, The Skate Lankies, The Skepocrat, and God-Off-A-Movies. And if you'd like to help keep this show going, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com-sytationpot. Or leave us a glowing review anywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on

social media, or check the show notes, be sure to check out citation pod.com. Hey, Tom, ready to record? Yep, lost cause of the self. Should be fun. Yeah. You think we went a little too hard on the South hate this week? Nah, listeners get it. They know it's all with love. Yeah, cool, cool.

Okay, fellas, I got my book teeth and my moon shine and I'm ready for the opening sketch. Now, Villa, don't get it, right? I'm a fucking sister, sister mama. Oh, sister, what are you doing? You're like doing a gesture. Over here. So much physical business. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww.

Eww.