Citation Needed - Tycho Brahe

Episode Date: August 30, 2017

Tycho Brahe (/ˌtaɪkoʊ ˈbrɑːhi, ˈbrɑː, ˈbrɑːə/, born Tyge Ottesen Brahe (Danish: [ˈtyːə ˈʌdəsn̩ ˈbʁɑː][n 1]); 14 December 1546 – 24 October 1601) was a Danish nobleman known for his accurate and comprehensive astronomical and planetary observations. He was born in the then Danish peninsula of Scania. Well known in his lifetime as an astronomer, astrologer and alchemist, he has been described as "the first competent mind in modern astronomy to feel ardently the passion for exact empirical facts."[1] His observations were some five times more accurate than the best available observations at the time. --- Our theme song was written and performed by Anna Bosnick. If you’d like to support the show on a per episode basis, you can find our Patreon page here.  Be sure to check our website for more details. "Americana" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/ licenses/by/3.0/  

All right, guess I think I've got it. I think I have found the perfect subject for our show. Oh, really? I have some fries. Yeah, yeah. Tico Brahe. The guy who makes the trucks? Ah, that's Tonka.

Tonka Brahe makes trucks? Oh. No, no, guys, listen, it's a super cool guy from history. He's an astronomer. But for me, he's like, he's like, he's a good astronomer. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, And Tom and Heath, there's a drunk moose. You had me at drunk. You had me at old timey.

Okay, but what about Eli? Best friend coming through in the clinch. Look at that. Eli gets to talk. I love talking. Do I get to start an internet fight? You can't not do that, buddy. Doesn't matter how studiously Cecil edits it. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hello and welcome to Citation Needed, the podcast where we choose a subject read a single

article about it on Wikipedia and pretend we're experts because this is the internet and that's how it works now. I'm Cecil and I'll be desperately trying to keep us on the main road, but I'll fail miserably because like it or not, I'm driving the clown car. First, we have a man whose blood pressure is measured in PSI, and a man whose the chief cause of that, no way, any lie. Thank you, thank you. It's like the two of us are competing for the lowest score on the actuary table, huh?

Okay, but how do you know it's an actually a table? Oh god. You can hear words, right? You hear them? You may say them? Jerkik. No. it's an actually a table. Oh God. You can hear words, right? You hear them? You can say them? Jerkik. No.

I don't know why he does that sound. Also joining us tonight at the two men who have inspired asterix on the All You Can't Signs all across the country. Ethan Tom. All of a sudden we're like black guys trying to get past the bouncer at Nyersh par. So like, so no, urban shirts at the buffet. Oh, it's the urban shirt. Are you any suburban shirt to get in here?

All right. And the trick is you just bring the chair to the buffet. Yeah, that's just that's your table now. Impress it. Okay, that's your table now. This is my life. I still have that image in my mind of Tom doing that now. This is my life. I show that image in my mind of Tom doing that now. This is your table. This is less than all I like it, but this one is yours.

He's just overturning chafing dishes and a long big pile and just like hunched over the top of a growling and pass Revising try to get to He's just got one pile of salty and one pile of seeds He's just got one pile of salty and one pile of seeds. And I'm sorry, did you want to waste everybody's fucking time with me walking back? It says all you can eat on all you can fucking power walk, chunksing. All right, I'm sorry, you stole an actual chat, these guys magic guys, but I got to move. If I roll in the mashed potatoes, they're mine now, right?

It's a good way to carry food for a later too. You roll the mashed potatoes and then roll in the chicken. It'll be thrown to you for later. You can just pull it off ads and eat it. Cecil, I know. Okay. All right, let's get it up. I got a track here before we get going to that. I wanted to

think the amazing patrons to keep this show going. If you'd like to learn how to join their ranks, be sure to stick around at the end of the show. And with that, out of the way, tell us, Heath, what person, place, thing, concept phenomenon or event we'll be talking about today. All right. Today we'll be talking about whatever it takes to keep Noah's essay interesting because he chose a Tico brahe these strontomer. And Noah, you read the article in Wikipedia is Tico brahe a type of Indian food? Please say yes, please say yes.

Any food in your food? Yachty. It's a dude. So he was an astronomer. No, no, he was a astronomer, an astrologer, an alchemist, a poet, and a nobleman. He sounds kind of amazing, but I think the audience at home is falling asleep. Oh, you had me at nobleman. Maybe before really lucky, no, read some of his poetry and then we can all get, kill

ourselves for them. No, but I left out the bed. Yeah, I wasn't done. I wasn't done. Who had a golden nose and an alcoholic pet moose and die from holding in his piss too long. Okay. They woke up. That's solid.

Yeah. You're damn right. They did. I'm interested. Like his urine solid. Yeah. Because Tiko Brahe is fucking awesome. Basically, this whole story is going to be about people bidding up the price to hang out

with them until he dies from not peeing. And between now and then I promise you both a golden nose and a drunken pet moose. I've never been promised anything that I've wanted more. Okay, but if golden nose doesn't turn out to be shorthand for p-sex, I will be disassisted. Wait, I was the girl in it that it's not shorthand for p-sex. I thought that was a given. And every now this will be one of the many times in your life, Eli, when in terms of peace sex, you were disappointed.

I should have been the president. You could deny it at this point. How scary is that that everyone at home is like, I mean, yeah, probably. A bag of hammers that romantically randomly vomits out words. I don't know a boggle board. What did it tweet today? Not about Nazis. I love you, Baggle board, four more years.

All right. Where does this tale of moose debauchery begin? All right. So little Tico or Tikes, as they probably didn't really call him back then, but they call us. Yeah. There you go. He was born on December 14th of 1546 in the Newt Storp castle in Denmark.

Newt Storp. Yeah.ne. Newt Storp. Yeah, the castle, of course, proves that when you're stuck with a Scandinavian language, it's impossible for your castle not to sound stupid. Newt Storp. The castle. Newt Storp. Now available in IKEA and it's made entirely from tiny dollar odds.

The rights can't last to a town like that. Which your wife throws away, because she's a stupid whore. She's all of them. She's all of them. She's all of them. She's all of them. They don't give you extras. Just asshole. Just dig it through the fucking garbage to find leftover wood so I can buy a shelf for

you. I'm gonna sharpen my finger into a hexagon. Thank you. And a newt store is when the Swedish chef kicks you in the balls. I did not look up the translation. Now I wish I did. Anyway, as you may have guessed from the prestigious birth in Newt store, he was born into a noble family, several of them actually, not only was the Brahe family, damn influential

on his own, but he was also a descendant of the woods, trolless, urf stands, and erosion cranses. And though those are not just the silliest, sounding surnames I could come up with, but they're real. So all still available for my Kia and still made a tiny dollar. Good friends of the Guildensterd family. Sorry for that loss. Oh, she's over there.

All right. So Tiko was the, almost of 12 siblings. Eight of them survived into adulthood, which is pretty darn good for those days. Jakes spare humor. Up when he was two years old, he murdered four of his brothers. You're hoping for a much better story. No, no. Well, or maybe he did. I don't know why his parents sent him away, but they did. It could have been from let's say, let's say he did. Why not get the rumor going. But what were the other way he was a couple of years old, they sent him away to live with his uncle, Yorgan, I wouldn't want to mispronounce that. Who would raise him into adulthood? So instead of growing up in Newt Store,

he had to settle for a childhood in the Nizbikovid castle. Oh, that got Jewish. Can you do that? Yeah, Jewish that castle in the middle. Kindergarten must have been so fucking hard back there, just like, just spell where you live, and you're gonna have a quick fuck. I'm gonna start. I'm gonna start to death.

Ah, Nizbfluhichet. As we wandered among the Schmergerfugs and the big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, current trees. Alright, so now what? Tiko's uncle wanted him to be a lawyer, but little thikes was far more interested. The little thikes was far more interested in astronomy.

Yeah, and this is the 16th century. Today's version of that argument is like, fuck you dad, I want to be a cold fusion time traveler with female orgasms. I hate you. God. Now, apparently this all blossomed at the age of 14 when Tico witnessed an eclipse, like all right, thinking people do when the opportunity presents itself It was a circle

Yeah Well, I should have googled it. It was a cloud anyway But that touched off Tico's lifelong and ultimately history altering career in astronomy I gotta say not surprising some of the shit I saw when I was 14 also changed my life. I also had the internet and a lot of hand lotion though. So it's like a little different because that's when Tom started selling hand lotion on the internet. Okay, while hilarious, no, I think you overestimated how long the funny castle names

could do the comedic heavy lifting here. So how about throwing us a bone or at least some cartilage? Brilliant segue, Cecil. Well, you did write it. So, and I stand by my assessment. And so do I. In 1566, at the tender young age of 20, young Tiko was arguing with one of his cousins at a wedding dance. And you know, how 16th century Scandinavian wedding dances were. So pretty soon that turned into a sword fight. Kind of like an atheist wedding, am I right? Seriously, folks, I don't hate my son Eli. It's just a fan.

He's gone for it. That's cool. Yeah, my mom's toast was, it's not enough. I let you marry a girl. You have to be one too. And then she burned her will. Yeah. You like that?

You're not sisters getting in here. There you go. No, I should point out here, by the way, that this was not a heat of the moment type of sword fight in case that's what you were thinking. These guys had an argument. They had it again. And finally, they decided the only way to solve it would be to hack at each other with long sharp objects like gentlemen. Yeah, who would do that every weekend their entire

lives? Seasaw. Seasaw would do that. That's it. All right. All right. Well, just to make Cecil seem sane, these guys wanted to be more badass about it. So they decided that the best time in place for a sword duel would be the middle of the night in the dark. All right, so here's what I'm thinking. Here's what I'm thinking. You ever have a pinata at a birthday party? You can have a...

What if we... Hey, hey buddy. Yeah, Tom. Never have kids, he's. Take in up caros. Way handy, Tom. Our night sword fight that Ikea furniture from earlier took a tragic Spectre turn but tragic All right, so during the sword fight Tiko gets his nose chopped off

So all fun and games until well now I guess So all fun and games until well, now, I guess. So luckily for him, he was already going to one of the best medical schools in the world. Unluckily for him, it was the 16th fucking century. So there was fuck all they could do for him. So from that point on, he had to glue a prosthetic nose to his face every morning. Now, the nose is described the literature as either gold or silver, but according to modern autopsy results, it was actually made a brass. So if he'd been a little tougher, he'd have had his balls chopped off. Yeah. Also, that's a new start to look that it was fake. He's just walking through Copenhagen

one vaguely ethnic guy with a plastic table. I got Gucci bags and real gold noses. It's just real? Just go get real? We're the ones in real, just gold noses. I mean, I don't want to look silly, got my nose cut off. How about one 24th statue? I'll be one 24th statue. Forever, that's a good look, right?

Very worse part about having a metal nose is trying to fit the mining pick in it. No, it's not. So we got a sword fighting doctor. What else is he known for? No, well, when he wasn't getting into pitch black sword fights, he was answering the seductive call of science. He's so despite his uncle's wishes and the expectations of his extended family and the fact that his country was at war with Sweden at the time, he elected to dedicate his life

to science and ultimately became one of the foundational figures in the scientific revolution. I prefer the face altering sword fighting. Can we get back to that? Whatever. Tom, give it a chance. We learned last week. Science can go some interesting places. Thank you. I hope you listen to this out of order. That's what I'm saying. You genics is what he's Now before I lavish too much hero worship on the dude, I want to expose a few of his warts. Yes, finally, genitals. You're going to be disappointed. They're not golden. Always when it comes to genitals. All right. So Tika was the golden-n T.H. in astronomical observations. And he rewrote the book on how the science of astronomy was done.

But he was not a heliocentrist. And this was not pre-compernican either. He didn't have that excuse. Compernicus published his other revolution of the heavenly spheres three years before Brahe was even born. And the theory was already picking up steam well before Tico started doing his best work. Okay. Well, that's just ridiculous right arguing for human skepticism of causality post-conn what a fucking hillbilly

but it's good arguments on both sides the thing i know is magic magic words card a subspeed card card diamonds coins cards i'm in the show and no you're saying yes i want that we all contributed equally and then you can get everybody's everybody said smart stuff about which they were smart

uh... now some of the reasons uh he rejected Copernicus' son, Senator Theories were downright stupid. Okay, like he was an empiricist, but he wasn't quite a rationalist, and he wasn't above using biblical arguments to bolster his theories. Of course, mother church wasn't about birding you alive for not telling the line either, so there could have been a little motivated reasoning going on here too. I'm not ruling that out. I just, I want to sympathize here and say that there's literally nothing that I wouldn't believe out loud in public.

If there was any possibility that not believing it would get me burned alive. I call and sick if I burn the roof of my mouth, even pizza. We can't all be fearless warriors, Tom. I understand. Earlier today, I was compared to a noble ram. I think we're really missing the bonus of him burning at the stake. The bronze nose would have the, would sort of add the mayiard effect to his face.

It's like a panini grill, you know? It's like a margantan boy. It's a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good stuff. So, he has a cold. So no, we can all agree that arguing science from the Bible isn't very sciencey. Yeah, I can't agree with that for an hour a week for five years in countancy.

So. But Tito's credit, even when he did use biblical arguments, he almost never used him alone. He also had some pretty solid empirical observations to back them up. First of all, Earth is really fucking heavy. How the hell is that going to go spinning around and shit hard to deny? And later measurements did indeed back him up. Earth is super fucking heavy. Oh my God. Earth is heavy. Good. Yes. All right. I'm learning so much here. All

this fast thing you should is making me I can really go for a new coke. No, I'm learning so much here. All this fascinating shit is making me. I could really go for a new coke. I'm going to go and go back to back. I've never been able to really go for a new coke time. And I wish I'd been bread genetically smart enough to know what Noah's talking about. Callbacks all around. Callbacks all around. That's what we're saying out of order. That's the best way to listen.

But as easy as it is to point and laugh from our perspective here, it's probably worth noting what a tricky problem this was to work out because like, yeah, first of all, the moon clearly is going around the earth, so that was throwing everything out of whack. Plus, there's no observable stellar parallax. Fucking a, right, there's not no more need to be said.

Fucking stellar... Randomness. right. There's not no need to be sad. Fucking Stella. Not to get to geeky, but look, if the sun is rotating around the earth, hint, it is. It's, it's the answer reason that like the stars should shift, you know, halfway through the year, right? Depending on whether you're looking at them from the left side of the orbit or the right side. And you don't see this even when you look super, super carefully, right? Oh, sorry.

I was just throwing a lacrosse ball and having sex with a woman to balance things out. You were not. Did you look under the butt because if you didn't, then you definitely messed something. I did not. I don't know much, fellas, but I know the opposite of space nerd isn't LaCross. I can't promise you much. The opposite of LaCross is the prosecuting attorney, right? Isn't that the thing?

All right. Clever transition back to stellar parallax. Well, the stellar parallax actually much like a lacrosse rapist is there. They were not guilty. I do. I feel like theta Kai. So

Is that a fraternity? So like I said, the stellar parallax actually is there, but it's really, really tiny. Root. That's root out loud, really. There was so shrinkage. It's a twin size. Fuck you. But so, actually the instruments precise enough to measure it wouldn't be developed

until 1838. So we're a little ways off of that. The key is that the stars are way the hell further away than anybody's supposed they were. And not just because astronomical distances are so astronomical. Uh, Tego had done the math on this and realized that if the stars were so far away that we couldn't observe a stellar parallax, they'd have to be larger than the Earth's orbit under the Copernican model. And that's correct, they do have to be that big.

And he worked all that shit out with a quill and a fucking paper and no telescope. And without my tip calculator on my phone, I just give the waiter my wallet and tell him to keep what's fair. There's another option. That's what I'm just. He would probably like that better than the phone thing. Yeah. But look, I mean, if you think about this, you try to put yourself in this guy's head.

Between Beetlejuice be it a thousand times the size of the sun and 40 million times further away, I'm not sure which of those two things is harder to believe, right? Do you got, right? Do you feel that? I think that's our virginity growing back. I think I have a hand in that too. That's interesting. That's straight, none of us can pop it.

No, he, so that's terrific. You'll need to go horseback riding again. It's on my arm. He's in to get the wind in your hair though, you know, I really feel free. I'll pop your hymen. So if he's not following the Copartican model, was he a geocentrist? I appreciate you jumping me back in. I was going gonna be able to do it on my own guys. That's a great question. So yeah, let's be clear here. Excited for clarity. Yeah, no, I'll hug you up.

Tika was not a geocentrist either. He didn't want to fucking idiot. He had his own model called the Geo Heliocentric Model. The positive is the moon and the sun rotated around the earth. But all the other planets rotated around the sun. Oh, this is the clear part, everybody. This is the clear. Understand.

Well, as hard as that is to get your head around, it also represents the closest to reality that the Lutheran Church was willing to go at the time. So. All right, I just, I just want to point out that some of our listeners might be a little anxious for the drunk moose. I don't want to push you along here, but maybe shuffle that up near the top of your notes there. Drunk moose, drunk moose, drunk moose, drunk moose. All right, maybe not just the audience.

I'll just let you reorganize what we take a break for the skits apropos of nothing. From the makers of citation needed, the universe is expanding at an ever-increasing rate. In the tradition of Carl Sagan and Neil deGrasse Tyson, and we are, but specks of dust floating along its current, comes Cosmos, USA, and in that current... BORRY! Jesus Christ! He's still talking about stars. In televisions, newest attempt to get primetime viewers to care about science. The flu turns and neutrons make up the core.

I fucking love the core! Great movie! Keanu Reeves! No, no, no, Keanu Reeves is in speed. Now that was Christopher Reeves! He got killed by a horse! Comes a science documentary filled with the words of the people who watch it. Forming a stalactite.

Tight pussy! Cosmos. USA. Hey, you see the holy fuck with the hell happening? Um, I had my mass lip off while sword fighting this weekend. I caught a percussive cut with my head. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you.

I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you.

I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you.

I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna? Well, I did and then they said I would have to replace one cheek with another cheek and my beard is a little shorter down there I just don't think it would look good And we're back when last we left the ADHD army that is this panel they were ooking like cavemen Why don't you?

Drug moose, drug moose, drug moose, drug moose. What do you say we get on with our country, who's made? Um, um, so what titillating detail of this guy's biography do you have for us next? No, that's an auktray, who's man. He's saying. You won't be disappointed, Cecil.

Next we'll be talking about his revolutionary work on the accuracy of sextants. Oh God. I want to talk about how I'm inferior more. It's got to, it's got to word sex and tent in it. There's got to be something you can do with that. Sex and a tent is just moist and not like good moist. The only good sex tent is at Burning Man. And I think I fucked a tiger. And yet a tiger thinks you fingered it. Anyway.

What? Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab.

Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. Astro lab. store. Yeah, there you go. What really set Tico apart from his contemporaries was the accuracy of his observation. This was all pre-galalais. So nobody in the astronomical world had was using a telescope, yeah, mostly because they wouldn't be invented for a half a century. Yeah, whatever. You can use a kaleidoscope and a pinched all right. That was for invented in 1815, I think. So back all the all the observations were done with sextons and quadrants and And Tico realize you get better observations with bigger sextants. So he built ridiculously huge ones like a sex Yurt

Garmin Bailey's but all fucking those are fun That's what it was guys. I think Keith was the tiger. What? What? What? Um, also, uh, interesting note, depending on how you define interesting, Tiko was also probably the first person to mount this, uh, his sex tends directly on bedrock to avoid his measurements being thrown off by the swaying, uh, and swelling of buildings.

Again, I should say he was a pre-scientific scientist. So as accurate and numerous as his observations were, they were far from perfect. For example, he introduced systematic errors of as much as three arc seconds and some of his stellar observations due to his application of an erroneous value of parallax and his neglect of pole-star refraction. Like an asshole, you know. All right, so we're gonna beat up this essay shoving in a locker and tape its ass crack clothes like the breakfast club. What are we doing? Maybe Eli verbally abuses the essay until it does some light cutting.

What's the last word? I'm honest. How's this essay's parents marriage? Guys, people have defenses about their physical weaknesses, but not their loved ones. That's where they're human is. So I say I lift weights, I shoot guns on a number of power tools, my girlfriend's a pole dead, not like a pro pole dead, but still accounts, especially here, accounts right now. Yeah, guys, no one stuffs sucks.

No, like understanding I'm struggling with. I'll make your paper on the conceptual pair last Okay, okay now I want to have a debate about how professional someone has to be before they're a pole dancer though I've been on a There's never introduces me that way There's a union Eli there's a union It's awesome the way they hold the cards. It's awesome. Anyway, tell us more about Tico's professional life is what I heard. So that's what I'm going to answer. So I want to know

the guy wasn't all science. In addition to being a transformational figure in astronomy, he was pretty heavy into some bullshit too. He was an astrologer, an alchemist, and a medical doctor, which at the time was no less synonymous with bullshit than goop columnist is today. His Polish words contain some of the most influential star charts ever crafted, but they also contain a lot of almond X predicting poor tense of doom because the comments and shit too. I love the alchemy part. He gets home, finds out his gold nose from like Chinatown was bullshit,

started smelting himself in the face. I got thought of my fake drugs, start trying to yell the baby powder into Coke. It's like, I'm just glad his star charts were influential. I mean, shame if you made shit up, it didn't matter. And then no one cared. Like a podcast on any listeners, just sad. So sad. You can try blaming the left for everything and hope internet Nazis listen. I hear that.

After you do, yeah, they do listen. So yeah, and I should say on a professional level, the astrology shit was much like Nazism and that it was profitable. For take out. Well, people in the scientific world were starting to reject astrology by then. The Scandinavian ability was not.

So he managed to get most of his giant sextant construction and star plotting financed by oligarchs that were really in need of somebody qualified to tell him what the fuck God was on about with that last partial eclipse. And Tiko was more than happy to sell those services to him. Like an astrology hooker. Yeah. Smooth. The original astroglock.

You can say he was the first porn star. Tom's was better. Tom's was better. This has been the smart episode where you're also on the show. You also are on the show. Do pumps next week. I'll fucking nail it. Madeline, gay stuff, Madeline, gay stuff. No, I don't want to give the impression that all of us, when fall went to important scientific

advancements, Tiko was a notoriously lavish guy whose nightlife would have made him a tabloid favorite if 16th century Denmark had science tabloids. And this leads us inevitably to his pet moose. Awesome. Which was part of his nightlife. Yes. That's the moose getting stopped by clipboard guy at the club. I'm on the list.

What the fuck? I'm with the metal love guy. You know me. I'm just super confused because like moose are from North America. And I'm not sure anyone's invented in North America. Yes. I don't you haven't read the book of Mormon. Or the habitat of mooses for that measure, which are also native to northern Eurasia. Unfortunately, the name of the neighborhood though, just throwing that around. No, they're, okay, caribou are native just to North America, I believe.

Unfortunately, the name of the pet moose has been lost to history. Got to do it. Let's get it. Right now. Epidemic fuck, I googled this. You pedantic fuck. Let's try to get over this shit. Before I made that joke,

I knew you'd come at me. Community are nothing. It's really locked down on whether or not The big cow started here Or in somewhere I can't point a map at gunpoint Go google that shit All right, I'll hear google that, I'll carry on with this article Unfortunately the name of the pet moose has been lost to history and the Wikipedia article spends a poultry three sentences on it

What multiple biographers is reported that Tico had a tame elk that was given to him by his mentor land grave will helm of Heskassel Which lived in his castle with him? And went to parties with him and was also known to enjoy a potent potable for time It's a caribou. It's a moose. It's an elk. This story is falling apart lies upon lies Tom lies upon lies I love that it drinks though every time they walk up to the bar bartenders like fuck you. I've heard this one whatever I love that it drinks though every time they walk up to the bar bartenders like fuck you. I've heard this one whatever Why it doesn't help that his best friends were a priest in a rabbi

Also, they fucked that move But they did it when it was a mooseling That's a real word look that up I did also while you're looking that up you could find out that the let the species with the let name Alcis Alcis is called the moose in North America and in Europe Anyway That's a place in France you said it twice Alice this whole episode When I made up my story about the Chinese guy, I at least was like, hey, who's the parts of this that are lies next?

And then I just went into it. Anyway, yes, yes, may have surmised. It was this lavish, caribou lifestyle that would lead to the moose's untimely death. In what can only be considered an ungulate preulate presaging of Amy Winehouse's troubles, according to multiple biographies. It's the name of my rush cover bin. The moose drank well over its limit of beer one night and fell down a flight of stairs, right?

Which means that a, they have the drunk moose upstairs. And b, they neglected to use the baby gate. There are solutions guys. When the moose fell, it crashed into the floor. The only part left visible was the knuckle. Very visible. Moose knuckle. I heard that just like Amy, I heard they tried to make him go to rehab, but he said,

hmm. No, no, no. Question. Did the moose have a terrible dad who tried to film a reality show? go to rehab, but he said, um, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm,

hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm,

hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, episode, we can just, we can, I'm just introducing them here. Now, unfortunately, for Tico, he eventually fell out of favor with the royal court. 16th century, sweets took animal rights very seriously.

May or may not be true, but that's not why. When King Frederick died in 1588, his 11 year old kid took over and the steward of the realm that was appointed didn't much care for Tico. In fact, a lot of people in the royal court didn't like them, which is the byproduct of being super awesome and into eclipses. People just get jealous sometimes. Yeah, I know that's the problem precisely. You call them my mom and I call my mom a liar to her face.

Yes. Don't listen to him. No, it's like my blog. People don't care, but we care. We care. We still write it. Anyway, so Tiko winds up in exile, which isn't as bad as it sounds because Tiko is awesome. So some other king takes him in, pays for him to build a bunch more giant sextants and

treats him way better than they were treating him in Denmark. And this is where he hooks up with an assistant. They would aid him in his observations for the remainder of his life. A little fella by the name of Drumroll, please. Johan is fucking Kapler. That's right, make some noise. Woo!

Printing press. No! No. Noise, what sound does it make when a thousand vagina's dry up at the same time. It's a show far. The blowing of show far is the same. Kepler the elves.

That's no, that's Kepler. No, that's Hitler. The Hitler elves. Yes. Yes. All right. We're noting if for no other reason to get us off the Hitler elves subject. Um, cat next week Hitler.

The diary of Lorna Dune. You're the best ones in Lord of the Rings. You're generally just saying castles. All right. So Kepler was definitely not definitely a Helio centrist and tried his damnedest to talk his boss out of this anthocated geo heliocentric bullshit that he was trying to pull. Never quite managed to. Kepler would say, however, that he would never have been able to work out his famous planetary

laws of motion without Brahe's decades of careful and fisterious observations. And which more, he was right. He would not have been able to do that. God, circle of life, guys, huh? Right? More things change, more they stay the same, sunrise, sunset. If you can repeat anything Noah just talked about in this episode, I'll be your best friend for life. Got this. You Liam. So close. So close.

I love you. Now I should say this isn't all a happy story of drunken moose is falling downstairs because and I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you guys this Tico is unfortunately no longer with us. Um, he died in 1601 of a bladder infection and it said, and his nearest I can tell widely believed by people who are in a position to know that this stem from his refusal to get up and piss, while he was at a dinner party, because the timing of that piss would have been a breach of etiquette. As the story goes, he waited until he got home to piss, could barely squeeze out a drop and then he died a few days later from a burst bladder. Wait, wait, could barely squeeze out a drop and then he died a few days later from a burst bladder.

Wait, wait, a burst bladder is a thing? Yep. Okay, one second. Yeah, me too. I heard it gun. Yeah. So Cecil, I feel like, I feel like we never talk one on one.

Yes. Yeah, I guess not. Is that possible? Crazy. Yeah. No, I guess we never have. It's just, you know, the other guys are always just, you know, around. Yeah. Yeah. They're just always around. So you don't have to, uh, no, no, I went before the record. Cool. Cool. Cool. So, um, how, how was that eclipse? Cloudy. This is clouds. Uh, what sucks.

Did you catch it? Uh, no, no, I had to work as in a meeting. Oh, okay, sorry about that. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. I thought I was gonna die. Yeah, me too. I went poop. Why?

Didn't want my butt to explode. So no I was saying that he should have just brought a gatorade bottle that avoided the problem all together like all the classy people did Speaking of which next week on citation needed omarashi Show it to your kids. Go to your kids. Go to your kids. Go to your kids. Go to your kids. Go to your kids. Go to your nose. Ask them to describe it to you.

Um, but Tiko's, Tiko's name lives on. It does. Really? Sure about that. We're recording this, aren't we? This is being recorded. But nobody's going to be able to look. He said, that's not Tiko's fault.

Can't blame that on Tiko. Let's not blame pride for that one. No, look, I admit he's not quite in the pantheon of Copernicus, Kaplur and Galileo, but his legacy is still pretty impressive. Who is pantheon? What? Who?

Who? I'll tell you later. Now Tico was the first scientist that anyone ever bothered to write a biography for, which is pretty cool. He famously observed the supernova in 1572 and not only is that supernova named after him, but he actually coined the term supernova when that happened. Edgar Allan Poe wrote a poem about that and also some have argued that his supernova is

the star that's westward from the poll and hamlet. Appreciate the outreach. No, I appreciate that. I do what I can. I do what I can. Um, he also has a lunar crater and a Martian crater named after him as well as a planetarium and a genus of palm. Shockingly not one nightclub so weird. Huh. Clearly you've never been to a moose nightclub. Got me there. Popular. Got me there. I know if you had to summarize what you learned in one sentence, what would it be? Uh, if it wasn't for spell check, I would never spell Scandinavian correctly. That would never happen just by chance. And are you ready to answer some moose related questions about this brilliant scientist? Unfortunately, I am see so.

Okay, Noah, first question. What were you talking about today? Hey, the guy who invented stars. Hey, the guy who invented stars Giant metal triangles that use math to predict volcanoes See there was a castle with a funny name. I remember that D Hitler elves I Love it when they accidentally actually have a correct answer.

See is the only one that actually is correct. Yeah. Two points. All right, Noah. A drunken moose, a man with a golden nose, all walked into a bar. Something something. How does this joke at hey, he had a nose for it. Feel like there needs to be a rim shot after each one of these be scared

of moose. Scaramoo said it'll do the fadango. See. So the moose says now it's your turn in the stirrup or D and that's why a mousse's legs are so long All right, I'm gonna have to go with I think my favorite sentence ever Written down in the English language scare a mousse scare a mousse and I'll do the fan day Go I believe the right answer is beat that fuck it. You're right I don't know I didn't write the middle of the joke. It's out with a punchline like that. You don't need a middle of the joke. When a naked Japanese guy jumps out of the supply closet and you know supplies, there

doesn't need to be a set up. Doesn't matter. Doesn't even matter. All right. No. What was Tiko Brahe's pat drinking on the evening of its demise? A, a Moscow mule. B, Vermous.

C, Carabou Lue. Or D, Pappy Van Boulwick. Did you get found? Yeah, no joke. All right, no. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. All right. Well, all right. I was burping.

It's like I was like a bruv and whiskey deep. All right. Well, I was tempted to go with Vermoose, but I, you know, I tend to listen to heath and alcohol related questions. So I'm going to go with D.

Pabby Van Van Bowenkel. Yeah, you got his hoof on some of that. It's a good way to go. All right, I go one more for you. Which of the following is a true statement about astronomy? Is it a one astronomical unit or AU is equal to approximately 149.6 times 10 to the fifth kilometers. All right. Sorry.

Obviously it's 10 to the six. That was insulting. 10 to the fifth. You imagine. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. B was it B rounded to the nearest day one year on Mercury is equal to 91 days.

Is it C? I'm a Virgo. Or is it C I'm a Virgo or is it D if you stayed at home instead of driving for 26 hours you could have seen the eclipse. The eclipse was not visible from here so it can't be that one. I saw more than visible from there. Well, but 96% it was only totality that I missed, guys. It was the only, only the orgasm that I,

it was only the overtime that I didn't see as well. Ha ha ha. Well, you're fucking with me because this format demands that I get this wrong. So I have to pretend not to know that I'm curial year is actually 88 days and it's day is 58 days, 15 hours. And say that the answer is B,. Heath B is the answer.

It's correct, which is it? No, it's incorrect. It's incorrect. It's a different one. Oh, darn. I never saw that coming. Wow, let it go. He know a Mr. questions. You can choose who's up next. I'm going with Tom. Of course. All right. And now we're going to toss it over to my love of the wife, Sarah, with last week's Twitter answer, and this week's Twitter question. Thanks, guys. Last week's question was, if there were a eugenics-themed amusement park, what would be their most popular attraction? Our favorite answer came from Captain Fuck Knuckle on Twitter, her wrote,

Mega Mountain. Thanks to everyone for submitting answers. This week's question is, what would be the best species for an animal drinking buddy? And what would its favorite drink be? Just retweet or Facebook share this episode with your answer for a chance to be next week's winner. Back to you, fellas. Alright, well for Tom, Keith, Noah and Eli. I'm Cecil, thank you for hanging out with us today. We'll be back next week, and by then Tom will be an expert on something else. Between now and then you can catch Noah, Keith and Eli on their three hilarious shows,

The Skeptocrat, The Skating Atheist, and God Awful Movies. You can also listen to Tom and I on our other show, Cognitive Dissonance. If you'd like to keep this show going, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash citation pod. Or you can leave us a five-star review everywhere you can. And if you'd like to get in touch with us, check out past episodes, connect with us on social media, or check the show notes to be sure to check out citation pod dot com. pod.com Okay, okay, he's I think you had enough. No fuck that fuck that fucking moose, too It's it's an elk fuck is fucking stupid fucking horns one more more outside Show them that bomb us one more look look hey man the bartender he knows he had too much and he's a Mexican

He's not black that same thing tomato tomato. Can we just call it a night? Cecil Cecil Cecil look at me bro. Are you looking? Cecil I'm looking look. I don't fucking give up. I don't know. On the outside, your life looks like a recurring game of throwing the towel. Fuck that fucking giant deer in his face. He's at this point you and the elk have gone through three bottles of whiskey. Where's Tom? Where's Tom? Tom? Tom? Tom? Tom? We're going gay bar. Tom has that on bottle too. Look, let's just call it. It was a good try, but you cannot drink Lieutenant Acorn.

The fuck is left, Lieutenant Acorn? It's the elk. That's the elk's name. All right, down in the hatch there, Bullwinkle, unless you can't loathe. Can't loathe. Your puns are funny when you're sober. One more round, one more round, and we run stairs to Bukes first. Deal? Deal 10, Dan? Oh! Run stairs.

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