Club Random with Bill Maher - Andrew Schulz | Club Random

Episode Date: March 23, 2025

On this episode, Bill is joined by stand-up comic and podcast provocateur Andrew Schulz. The two swap stories about Andrew’s transition into fatherhood (including fertility hurdles and the emotional roller coaster of IVF), the perils of fame in the digital age, why he once called Fox News out on its overblown “outrage” stories, negotiating free speech in comedy and the ever-shifting rules of social discourse, meeting fans where they are online. They debate America’s “abundance mentality” and how it informs politics, the decline of open discussion in modern media, the rise of cancel culture (and how both the left and right weaponize it), the fine line between comedic license and genuine offense, Elon Musk’s takeover of Twitter, and the peculiarities of personal relationships in the spotlight. They also trade observations on religion, Trump’s enduring appeal, social media mobs, bizarre magazine collections from New York City newsstands, and much more. Go to https://www.RadioactiveMedia.com or text RANDOM at 511511 to save up to 50%, today! Try ZipIntro FOR FREE at https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/RANDOM Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/factorpodcast with code factorpodcast Go to https://www.zbiotics.com/RANDOM and use RANDOM at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics Follow Club Random on IG: @ClubRandomPodcast Follow Bill on IG: @BillMaher Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/ClubRandom Watch Club Random on YouTube: https://bit.ly/ClubRandomYouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As a business owner or a CMO, what steps you are taking to ensure your business survives and thrives with something very reliable? Why not utilize something stable for your marketing efforts and tap into the power of podcast and radio? Discover how audio marketing can surpass your current strategies with new and innovative ways that sound better. Go to RadioactiveMedia.com or text RANDOM to 511-511. Text RANDOM to 511-511 today. Message and data rates may apply. This podcast is brought to you by Aura. By the time you hear about a data breach, your information has already been exposed for months.

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Post jobs today, talk to qualified candidates tomorrow. I would check that stat on Trump and AOC polling. I just made that up, but I think it sounds good. But it's a disingenuous argument. Why is it disingenuous? Because I just told you. You said you can't live there and I was like, here's another place. Because it's not-

Hey, how are you? Man, you're funny on the Tom Brady run. Oh, thank you, brother. Thank you so much. I appreciate you having me. I feel like that was the beginning of the vibe change. Yeah. Is that the like, I hate even using the term because it's so belabored, but is that the

end of woke? No. Is that the night? Well, I know. I just read a story. There's some, like there were so many stories like this in the last five years, some book by some lady. And like it said, like the most benign thing,

and of course it's in the mouth of a character. She's just trying to say that, you know, how are you gonna show someone is an asshole unless they act like an asshole? And then they go after her and she of course, a fucking apology and they took it out of the book. I think they canceled her book contract and I just wanted to say,

I thought we were done with this shit. Yeah. But we're never gonna be done with that shit completely. Not completely, especially as long as people are afraid. But I thought when I saw the Tom Brady roast Yeah. Especially as long as people are afraid. But I thought when I saw the Tom Brady roast, that that was a marker in the sand. And you know, all the praise to Kevin Hart

for pulling that off. Because I don't think a white guy could have done it, pulled it off. He set a tone. And he said it was OK to make fun of him. Well, and also just say things I haven't heard people say, words on TV, what, right? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, you can say any bad word, but like, you know, I mean, I'm on CNN now. And they don't, when they said, can we put you on CNN? You know. Yeah, actually doing something interesting with that Scott Jennings guy. I call him Lonely Scott, because it usually like four people up there.

Trying to gang up on him. I go, well, it's Lonely Scott. But they put a guy who seems to be able to like, I guess, argue from the conservative side on the show. Yeah. And they let him cook, you know. And they used to put like a dumb, Scott. Oh Scott, of course.

Well you gotta, well my, look I love CNN, I'm thrilled to be, I find it such an honor. To be back on. Well that they wanted me on CNN as well as HBO. I mean HBO I've been with forever and I get that. Why, you thought you were a pariah? Well I'm just, CNN is like a straight up news organization.

So to put me on there without centering, I give them all the props in the world. But they are trying to recover something that was almost impossible to maintain in the era of Trump, which is how do you just say it as it is, which is what they always did. There was people on the left, people on the right, Fox, MSNBC, we get it.

CNN was down the middle. But you know, when the president does lie, you have to say he's a liar, and then you look like you're on the left. And they went too far with that. And now they're trying to correct that and get back to like you're on the left. And they went too far with that. And now they're trying to correct that and get back to just the place where a regular person says, can I just get-

Like, just tell me what's going on. Yeah, you did something during COVID that actually was incredibly inspirational to us. Oh, thank you. And it was the piece about, what was it, the Chinese flu, do you remember that? Of course, it was I think one of our first ones that we did, like every, what do you call it,

disease has been named after a place. Phenomenal, and it was just like common sense logic, it's so funny to even hear that term common sense being used by the right now, they're gonna. Exactly, they co-opted it. Yeah, exactly. So, but you put out this piece, and this is how I knew that it really was impactful.

I got sent the piece by four different generations of people. Wow. It was my wife's parents, it was my friends, it was like kids around like younger, somebody works for me who's like 20 or something like that. And then it was, yeah maybe something like that. And I was like, oh okay, so this is cutting deep, people need some sort of, I'm gonna put truth under quotes. But we're living in a little bit of a fantasy land

and everybody's terrified to say something and the piece cut through. And yeah, it was super inspirational. Then we started doing these pieces and I think, yeah, I don't know if that's possible. So you call them your wife's parents, you don't say my in-laws? So isn't that weird, my in-laws?

I don't know, I'm not trying to be your shrink, I'm just saying, why would you avoid that term? Well, they're my wife's parents, you know, they're not my parents. I know, I'm just trying to start trouble. How long have you been... Thank you. How long have you been...

Are you expecting a flood? Bro, I keep dripping everything all over the floor. No, I mean your pants. How much would it cost just to get that extra? Just to get that extra. Am I getting style tips from you? You're wearing a fucking baggy turtleneck. You're doing so well.

Why would you not get the extra? What could it cost? I mean, just that extra bit that would cover. Like the editor of Vogue coming onto this podcast talking shit about my pants. Yes, it rained a little, but we're not going to need to. What bigger man was wearing that shirt before you put it on today, Bill?

That's a sweater. You know you're right. I don't like sweaters, but it was cold here. Ben Affleck left it with the house. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Celtics green. How long have you been married? Three years. Three years?

Oh, so you're like almost a newlywed. Yeah, yeah, it's early. And how long did you go out before that? That's a good question. Another three, something like that. Right. I think around that, I might be getting some of this off, but yeah.

But yeah, we just had a kid. Kid's like a year and a month old. You have one kid? One kid, yeah. Wow. What's that like? It's every single cliche you could ever imagine. Right.

Like it's, you know. Life changing. No, no, it's literally every cliche. And as a comic, you're like shocked because your ego is like, oh, I have unique takes on everything. And then the only emotional reaction you have is the exact cliche that every other person

has said about a kid. Yeah, I mean, everyone has said that to me. Like, if you had a kid, Bill, you would, you know, and I feel like I'm the first person who would look in the crib and go, not for me. Still nothing. So crib and go, Not for me. Still nothing. So you don't have kids for them.

I mean, I don't want to hurt this kid, but I don't feel especially connected. But maybe that would be wrong. I mean, I don't know. When it's your goo that went into a lady and then came out with like a mini you, I guess it's just, it's sort of an extension of yourself. Oh, your selfishness is perfectly aligned. It's amazing how like my whole life I thought, and I'm not trying to discredit my pops,

he's an amazing pops, but like, I thought he was doing all these things against his, like he was just being there for me and everything and every single basketball game, whatever. And I didn't realize that he could also get joy out of it. And as a parent, you get joy out of it. It sounds incredibly cliche. No, no.

Believe me, I've seen parents and I've seen the joy. And I wouldn't say I feel like I've missed it, but I'm also very cognizant of the fact that that is a type of joy that people have that may be a greater joy than anything I've ever had. Maybe. I'll tell you a story, I won't say who it is because I just won't, but it's somebody you would recognize, a name you would know, who was a known Lothario.

Okay, and got married somewhat later in life and was telling me once, this is a while ago, but he had little kids and he said to me, we were in my old similar room to this, just a place to smoke and drink and be real. And he said, you know, I was wiping Cheerios off my kid's chin the other day. And I thought to myself,

this is better than any fuck I ever had. And about two weeks later, the girl who I was with at the time called me almost in tears and she said, Bill you have to get, and it was this guy from Stop Calling Me, so apparently it wasn't really been it. He was still trying to get after it.

And it was my girl. No. Well I'm just saying, but true story. I'm not saying who. I mean it's weird that he's thinking about fucking while he's wiping Cheerios off his chair. I'm just saying, better than any fuck I ever had, was someone undercut two weeks later

when I... Trying to fuck your girlfriend. Okay. Maybe at that moment it seemed like it, but you know... I want to know who this good friend of yours is that's trying to fuck your girl. Oh, this was many years ago in a galaxy far away and it could be anybody. And let's just leave it at that. But let them speculate, but it was funny to me.

But I'm sure there are other people for whom wiping the Cheerios off the chin really is better than any fuck they ever had. And I feel sorry for those people because they obviously fuck badly. No, I'm kidding. Children are wonderful is what I meant to say. Yes, of course, of course.

But how does it change your life? Obviously you don't get enough sleep, right? Are all those cliches true? Yeah, obviously, but life becomes just a little bit smaller. So like so much of your life I guess in entertainment is like unfortunately dictated by you know what you think the perception of you is or have you achieved these things that you want to achieve

and it is, I would say equally as comforting. Now I'm coming from this place where like I've made a couple bucks, I'm financially secure. Quite a few. Doing okay. You're doing great. Doing okay. So I care mostly about how my kid and my wife feel about me

and I can feel comfortable if life is good at home and I'm not as worried if these people on the internet are saying crazy shit about me or this thing is happening over here. So it puts things in perspective. Immediately. Immediately. Right. Immediately.

Yeah. Do you feel like it helps you say morally because something you might do if you didn't have a kid, you'd be more hesitant to do because I... Not at all. Not at all. Seriously? No, like I stopped like... Oh, come on.

I stopped like doing drugs or whatever, like smoking and shit like that. I was never like a big cigarette guy, but like I'll have a bogey every once in a while. And I- That's hardly anything. But I stopped doing it just cause I'm like, I'm not about to have some like fentanyl

and some drug that I'm- No, but like say you used to go to Diddy's parties. Yes, of course, as we all. Did you go to a Diddy party? No, but I've had a couple of, you know, I used to run into him every once in a while. He was the most charming guy. He would always make you feel like,

even though I didn't know him at all, for two minutes he would make me feel like I was his best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trump is like that, they say. Of course. I met him a couple of very similar, like charming, and like you meet him for two minutes,

and you're like, this guy really likes me, and he told me to call here, and then you'd call, eh. Just like, it was all bullshit. It's like, why? I didn't ask for it. I don't need to be your friend. But no, I never went to one of his parties. We didn't get to that level or any level.

But something like that, we're like, oh you know, I would do this, but I'm not gonna, because my child will read about it. Not that, but I like, I have no interest in going skydiving anymore. You know what I mean? Like shit that went younger is fun, and like exciting. I don't need to do all that shit.

Yeah, so I guess I am like a little bit more like risk averse, not maybe risk averse career wise, but like shit that I don't actually to do all that shit. Yeah, so I guess I am a little bit more risk-averse. Not maybe risk-averse career-wise, but shit that I don't actually really care about. I feel like if I had a kid, I would be walking on eggshells all the time. What? Constantly.

You mean you are? No, I'm saying you would. I would, yes. Meaning the things that you say, the opinions you have? Things I say, the things I do, you know, just, you know, I mean, I wouldn't want to get caught masturbating,

or anything that's benign, which is, I mean, that's a very benign thing. We don't treat it like it's a benign thing. Yeah, but it's pretty normal. I mean, she'll be- But like, for example, like no one would ever, if you were like upstairs and your wife said, honey, dinner, and you, I'm doing my taxes,

I'll be right down. Nobody was, I'm getting out of this, I'll be right down. Nobody says, honey, I'm masturbating, I'll be right down. You know what I'm saying? Because even though you should be able to say that. But they get insulted, I feel like they're, like I think my wife would probably be like, well, why don't you just want to have sex with me?

Like I'm here. I don't think they understand that these are different things that we do. Wait, say that again. Like I think the woman feels a bit of rejection when you're like, I would prefer to masturbate than just have sex with you. Well, she should.

Well, shouldn't, right? Shouldn't she? I mean, sometimes you want a little alone time, you know? You want to have this experience with yourself. I like the question that people say to you when they, you know, if you go to strip clubs, they're like, why, why do you do it? And I'm always like, I don't know,

must have something to do with the naked women. Yeah. You know, I mean, yeah, I mean, I like girls. I don't think I need to apologize for that, but. Do you think I'm asking you to apologize? No, no, no, no, but there are people who do. That's the intimation. No, I would say that aside from regretting it,

it's not having a marriage or a kid is like the one thing in my life I'm so glad that I stuck with, you know, like I made a lot of stupid mistakes as you do what you're not doing that What's that thing that that was I had the right instinct on that from the beginning for yourself? Yeah, I would not be happy with either one of those institutions Yeah, even though you don't know because you know yeah, and it's just a personal thing I mean there are I certainly know people who I mean not being facetious about it

They would be lost without their spouse. They would be, you know, they just, this can't be, now some of that is codependence, but some of it is just real. There are just, some people really are happier with that one person and waking up next to somebody. I mean, this Gene Hackman thing is very suspicious. His wife dies a week before and then he dies. Well, first they said the same day, but it's certainly around the same time, which is very suspicious, even if it's a week.

You think he killed himself after his wife died? Well, I don't know. First of all, I find it amusing that everyone's like, oh my God, a 95-year-old man is dead. What could it be? This great mystery. He's here one minute and then he's gone at 95. They certainly are intimating that it's some sort of foul play or suicide. And it's not uncommon for some-

Spouses to die within close proximity. This does happen. And sometimes on purpose. Well, I mean, if she, what, do you think she just died a week later? I think it's like I can't, I don't want to live without my spouse. Right, and they're basically living for each other and then when one of them goes, there's not as much of urgency to live.

The branches of the tree have so intertwined that you cannot. Survive without the other. So, I mean, if we're gonna put the pro and con column for marriage, I'd put in the con column. No, that's pro. If they, unless they die and then it's con. Yeah, but they went to 90 because they were with each other.

They might have died at 70. Whatever happens at 60. How many old people do you know that are, how many like 100 year old people were never married? Great question, I don't know. I think you're the oldest single guy. Certainly not. I think you're the oldest dude that's never been married.

There's lots of single people. Nah, nah, nah, nah, cause you're- Oprah has never been married. But she's gay married or whatever. She's like, what is it called, like domestic partnership. You talking about Steadman? Yeah, whatever. She's like, what is it called, like domestic partnership. You're talking about Steadman? Yeah. Not saying he's gay, I'm just saying

they've been together like a, wait a minute, what are you saying? But they've been together like a gay couple where you get married, but without the law. How do you know what Oprah's relationship is like? Because she says that that's her boyfriend. Yeah. So I'm just gonna believe it when she says it.

Still? I mean, I haven't seen him in a long time. Maybe, I mean, whatever it is, whatever she's doing, I'm all for it. I mean, she seems happy. So what do you think it is? You think that he's like a beard for her? What's your conspiracy on her?

You know what, here's my theory on that in general. People think that the people in show business are always doing something way more exotic than they're doing. Dude, do you, I'm curious about your thoughts on this. I don't wanna say this guy's name, but he had an interesting theory, and again, I don't wanna talk about,

like, we'll go whatever, blah, blah. But he was like, the overcorrection in Hollywood. Oh, totally. He said he chalked it up to this, he chalked it up to Weinstein, and he's like, Hollywood started to feel as if the world viewed them as Weinstein, and that the two were, you couldn't just separate the two.

Therefore, they had to project this like, extreme revision of what Hollywood could be. Are those connected or is this something that happened way before? Well, first of all I would say it's unfair to say that Hollywood is Weinstein. The music industry, that's why I'd say that it's totally Weinstein. The music industry has no rules.

It's like rape is like a speeding ticket in the music industry. And I know they hate it when I say that, but it's just true. That's the thing. I mean, the Diddy parties, I mean, I'm sure there was bad fit going on there, but it's not like they were that different and stuff that people in that world, that industry, I mean, any woman who goes after groupies, as we call them, I mean, they're very often the aggressors. That doesn't mean you can rape them. No, no, I understand what you're saying. But do you think that these people in industry

get a warped sense of what they can or can't do to women based on the groupies? Absolutely, because it's so sexualized. And then it becomes normalized. You're like, oh, I can't do this because every girl's trying to do it with me. You must have stories. So you agree with Trump grabbed by the pussy then?

No. So what you're trying to say is you defend Trump 100% with the grab by the pussy. Got it. No, but that is not an unfair description of what goes on in the music industry. If you're a star, they let you do it. If you're a star, they sometimes want you to do it.

Not all of them. And that's the problem, is that the guys get so used to no woman saying no and just being so aggressive that they just assume every woman is like that. And then once in a while they run into one who's like, no, I'm an actual person. Yeah, I'm a human being. Yeah, you can't do that. Yeah. And...

But this is, I think now the girls are more privy to the fact that they can make way more money off a lawsuit than they can just sucking some guy's dick. So I think there are a lot of them, a lot of these groupies, they used to get the validation from just hooking up with the rapper. I think a lot of them have switched their game plan a bit. And now they're like, wait a minute.

No, no, we gotta either get pregnant or we gotta catch a case. Yeah, I always find it amusing when the female rappers, sometimes their big burn on somebody they're beefing with is like, I could take your man. And I'm thinking, how hard is that? To take, not even just in the music industry, anywhere, but I could take it, no kidding. You can't take it.

What a threat. Yeah, exactly. You could suck my dick. Right. I'll dress all sexy and act all sexy and grab this Johnson and. They gotta say something like, I could make your man listen to my day. I mean, the fuck you could.

Then there's a good bit for you. You could do that as a bit. That's funny. Make you listen to my day. Yeah, that's impressive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Club Random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus at Radioactive Media.

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But you seem like you have a good thing going. No, things are cool, man. I mean, things are cool. That's, you know, in a way that's the best of both worlds if you can, you know, be in a relationship and be happy. Usually when the problem is that people get into relationships, it becomes stale. I would say you can see,

you can literally see it in the tabloids. What they write is bullshit very often, but they can't lie about the looks on celebrities' faces. I just saw, who was it? Oh, Kylie Jenner was at a tennis match. Oh, with Timmy Chalamet? Right. Yeah.

And you could see he's over it. Yeah, it's just, it's. You're just, they cannot, you can't hide that part of it. I wonder if, I wonder if some of them don't even, they can't discern between the attention that they're getting from the media because of the relationship and the actual connection they have with the person.

Because if you're in entertainment, right, a lot of these people are addicted to attention. It doesn't really matter what the attention is. And then you get into a relationship and there's all this buzz. And they start going, oh maybe, maybe I really do like this person. Well there was a lot of buzz on those two before they even were in a relationship.

They just took it to another level. No, I'm not saying it was a... A relationship amplifies the buzz. Of course. Like you take both fan bases and mix them together. But they were huge to begin with. I just find it funny. I mean when I watch this video of she's like just trying to get him to pay attention or he's watching this tennis match. And I'm thinking, wow, we just recognized this guy at the Oscars.

He didn't win, but he's recognized now as one of the great actors. We can't wait to watch this guy for the next 30 years. Such a great actor, but he can't even convince us that he still wants to be with Kylie Jenner. This is an acting job that is too much even for him at that moment. Like, Olivier couldn't have pulled that off. Yeah, he's not being directed. That's the problem. Right. He needs to know he's on camera.

I think he did, but he still couldn't do it because when it's over, it's over. Have you ever been with somebody that you felt, even for a moment, wow, I'm really enjoying the time I'm spending with this person, and I'd like to continue doing this for the foreseeable future? I did it many times, and did it for the foreseeable future. And then when that flame burns out, is it just this immediate conversation where you go,

hey, I'm done with this relationship relationship and I want to drag this on, or you do like the classic thing that we all do, which is like, we're a coward and we just kind of like remove ourselves emotionally and hope they break up with us and then, you know, right, like try to be the good guy even though we're the asshole. I mean, I don't know.

You're talking about if we want to get out of it as opposed to being dumped. I mean, I think a lot of us would rather be dumped when we're the ones that we want to be out of it, because we don't want to break that person's heart. We still want to be the good guy, even though we're going to hurt that person. I mean, I've had it in the past,

one time I could think of, maybe twice, where I was kind of what you were what you destroy I really wanted out of this relationship it was bad but you would you didn't want to hurt her it just is hard I mean relationships are like wars they're easy to get into and hard to get out of and this was Ukraine you know I just I just I needed to like fucking just give him the Donbass region, give her the Donbass region. And just say, you know what, I mean, when you're dealing with Putin,

sometimes, not that I agree with that, but it's so funny, like when I finally was pushed to the point and said, you know, this, I just can't do it one more day. Then like, you know, the second she's like, well, okay then, you're like, what? Don't reject me. You know, like you're not, you know,

if they're not sufficiently, it just, it's more about. You want them to be a little hurt. It's more about ego, I feel a lot of this. So you need a lot, you need love on the way out too. That's selfish. Well, no. Look, I mean, I believe in love and I've had it. And know it well and have it now.

You have a girlfriend right now? Well, let's not get too specific. We don't like to put labels on things. What do you call it? It's not a girlfriend, right? What do you call it? Like partner or something like that? I call it love. You have love. And that's the most important thing. That's beautiful. If you have love, you know, it's just a different way of... your life is just different. Asian girl? It's just... I mean, and you know, I couldn't be happy without it. I have been, you know.

But it's just different, it's better. I mean, it is better. It's a dimension that you just don't have otherwise. But it has nothing to do with marriage. I mean, many people are in loveless marriages. The trick is to keep love alive in marriage and even harder, lust. That's really in any religion.

And that really doesn't have anything to do with the piece of paper that says you're married. That's just his time. You know. That's something you need though. You really need the lust. You need to be lusted over. I do.

I feel, exactly. She needs to desire you, crave you. And vice versa. I have the tiger. You know, I mean, I can't live without that. I've gone with these Asian references. I've tried. I've tried.

I've made that mistake before and thinking, oh, you know what, how many hours a week do you spend having sex? You know, it's not the majority of the time. So why put the, I could be 100 years old and spend one minute a week having sex, it would still be water flows downhill and that's the direction it flows

and it's just pointless to try to stop it, or prevent it, or not think about it. I see that they make something now called a loyalty ring. I'm not making this up because I just read it. We have a new rule about it this week. A loyalty ring which can read a man's biometrics and tell, alert the girlfriend or the wife that he is clear to balls. That he's aroused when he's not with you.

That's funny. It's not funny to me. No, it's funny that she's going to learn that he's more aroused when he's not with her. Right. You don't want to know that. You don't want to know that. You don't, yeah. You don't wanna know that. Some things are better not known.

He's at the Equinox gym steam room. That rings going off. You're gonna learn some things about your husband. That would be, that's funny, I didn't take it in that direction, but that happens too. Yeah. Yeah.

It's probably a net positive for society though marriage Absolutely, yeah kidding that's a thing just children So that's the thing that is tricky like like I think a lot of times people get they react emotionally to these things like you know They might hear you saying that and they're like oh, he's against what I'm doing But that's it all exactly not at all so there's a difference between like wanting to do something for yourself But acknowledging totally personal exactly let us all be who we are. I mean, it's so funny when people judge you, or me, for this being basically who I am, because of the same people who, if I was gay or trans,

would be all like, we're born this way. We should, you know, like everything has to, and I agree with that, you are born that way. Or if you're trans,'re actually not more in that way But whatever you want to do whatever blows your dress I think it's like your your opinions are so strong that people assume you're trying to Project those opinions on people who disagree with you and you really don't give a fuck what they do. That's interesting I really don't but I don't know that comes across because people aren't used to strong opinions. I mean, I grew up in New York, so we have,

we're very opinionated people, and oftentimes with minimal information, and that's what makes the opinions so good. Right, like I like someone who knows exactly how they feel about the world without researching anything. That's the most interesting person on the planet. So, it's like, but yeah, I think they like, we feel like it's encroaching on our lifestyle.

Yeah, well, you know what? There's lots of things I do that have lost me fans, and there's lots of things I do like that that have gained me like the most loyal fans, and I think the best fans in the world. The smartest, sort of most willing to have an open mind people. Because you push them. Because you have to have an open mind or else you're going to hate me.

Because I'm going to say something that is like not what I already believe. And my fans want that. Like, oh, that's better. Here's an opinion I haven't thought of. That I haven't thought of. And if you're the kind of person, I don't hate these kind of people, but you know, I understand when they can't hang. Let's face it, after a night with drinks,

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Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details. There's that Jonathan Haidt book. Oh yes. The Righteous Mind, it's called. Yeah, sure. And it was just really interesting to me, just this idea that like, and it makes sense afterwards, of course,

where you're like, we're emotional beings, and then we retrofit justifications for our emotions with our brain. So knee-jerk reaction is how I am emotionally. And once I started understanding that, you'd hear all these dweebs like Ben Shapiro, they're like, facts don't care about your feelings. It's the exact opposite, right?

It's like the feelings don't care about your facts. You have to meet people where they feel things. If you're not meeting people where they feel things, you're gonna completely miss them, or you're gonna be stuck in this little ideological bubble where you're constantly having to appease whatever they feel. And you can't like actually create anything authentically.

I think that's mostly right, that people want to believe this thing for whatever actual reasons, feeling reasons, emotional reasons, their background, their family, their upbringing, whatever. And then they will find, especially if they have a brilliant mind like Ben does. He's clearly a very smart guy. So they will find the reasoning to go back, but it comes from the feeling.

I think you're right. It starts at the feeling. I'm so cognizant of this all the time. I may be guilty of that myself, but I try to be the least guilty of that. That is exactly what I'm trying to, I'll give you a great example. I mean, nobody on the left has been a bigger supporter of Israel than me.

And believe me, they know that in Israel, and I appreciate that, and I wish I could come and visit them as they keep asking me, but that's just, I'm almost 70, I'm not going overseas anymore. Okay, but there's somebody who the Trump administration just is now, is now. That's the reason.

That's the reason. I was waiting for like, No, that is the reason. I was waiting for like, there's a war happening actively, and you're simply just like, I'm not traveling. No, it has absolutely nothing to do with the war and everything to do with my urinary tract. Okay, so.

I want you all to know that he has a gig in Minnesota in a couple weeks. No, no, I stopped doing that too. Really? Yeah, I quit at the end of last year. Okay, go. So the Trump administration's right now deporting this guy who's a, I'd just say,

a Palestinian rabble rouser, Columbia University. Exactly what who you... Khalil something? Yes, Khalil something. And he's right on the edge of inciting terrorism. But no, okay, if I was just going by emotions, yes, I think I love it that Trump is throwing this dirt bag out of the country.

I will defend him to the death because I'm a free speech guy. You got to be consistent. If I'm always on the right for what they're doing against free speech, which I am, and way always on the left. I mean, you said woke. I don't want to talk about woke. I'm always fucking with the woke. The woke hate me more than anybody for a good reason

Because when I stick the knife into them when they deserve it Yeah, it goes right to the bone which it should because they don't believe in it either So here's a case where yes emotionally because I'm a supporter of Israel I would like to see this guy out of the country No You can't just throw people out because you don't like their speech. Especially if you give them or you grant them some form of, I don't know if he had a citizenship, maybe a visa or something like that, but you're essentially giving these... Green card.

He has a green card. So if he has a green card, you're giving them the opportunities to be an American, exist as an American for this amount of years. But if you have the green card, you do have the same rights as an American citizen. That's what I'm saying. Right, okay. So we have to give that person those rights. You have to. As annoying as that is.

As annoying as it is. You probably should have looked into his resume before you gave him the green card. Because that's always what, and it's very hard to, I would say not more than 20% of the people in this country can you get on that opinion. Everybody else is just always gonna go right to defending the speech of the people they like.

Yes, this is what we constantly do. We're hypocrites, but like... Such hypocrites. But this is the thing. We have to like... This is where it gets frustrating, these arguments, is like, if we know we're hypocrites, we can't cry about it. We have to meet people where they are. Correct. Right? So like, I'm sure you've seen on Twitter, like everybody's talking about Israel and like it seems like there's waning support

in America for Israel. Oh, absolutely. So here's an example, which you hear people say all the time, obviously the politicians have no clue how to communicate most of them, and they're just like, well, this is our closest ally. And then you get asked why, and they go, oh, they don't know. Because they're just being told that they're the closest ally.

Well, who is it closest ally in the Middle East? We're godless of what it is. It's like I think that's very important. They're the closest ally in the Middle East because they're the only country in the entire Middle East sure that anyone in this country these fucking hypocrites would even survive for a week in you wouldn't want to live. I don't know if that's true anymore, like the UAE, I've been to Abu Dhabi. The UAE is not the Muslim world. If you're talking about Dubai. But they're in the Middle East, that's what you're talking about.

Okay, but you're talking about a tiny, tiny percentage of what typical life is like in 60 Muslim countries. You're talking about a little enclave that they carved out so Westerners could come and spend their money. We're talking about far less than 1% of the way life is like. You would not want to live even in a moderate country like Jordan, and your wife certainly wouldn't enjoy living there. Yeah.

Okay? You're making logical points. Well, these are factual points. Yeah, sure, they're factual. They are. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. It's like I gave you another option that is true. Well, but it's... I think, matter of fact, I would even argue that life is more relatable to the average American in the UAE or in Dubai than it is in... Again, but it's a disingenuous argument. Why is it disingenuous? Because I just told you. You said you can't live there And I was like here's another place. Because it's not typical. I said the entire Middle East. So if I okay, so

Okay If I throw if I say you have to move somewhere in America Yeah, and I'm gonna throw a dart at a map with a blindfold on yeah, and Could you survive anywhere else in America where that, you absolutely could. You could live in Salt Lake City. You could live anywhere in America. If I throw a dart at a map of the entire

all 16 Muslim majority countries, will you say you'll live there? I could survive in every single one of them. You couldn't. How, no. What? How could I not? I'm not a gay guy. I could live in any single one of them. You couldn't. How, no. What? How could I not? I'm not a gay guy.

I could live in any single one of them. In Kabul, your wife would have to wear a tough, had to tell Burka every- That's on her. Okay. You're talking about me surviving. I could live very comfortably in every single country. Again, let's not move the goalposts.

You're asking if I could live comfortably. You could live with yourself knowing that that's how women are treated in your world. I hate this moral argument, like we give a fuck about women around the world. No, but this is like... Right, you said you'd be happy. This is such a bullshit argument.

It's not a bullshit argument. No, I didn't say happy. I said I could live. You keep moving the goalposts. OK, I'm sorry. Let's stay on what you say. You could live. I could live easily in every single keep moving the goalpost. Okay, I'm sorry. Let's stay on what you say. You could live. I could live easily in every single one of the countries

outside of the wars that are existing. But you're saying in peace time? Easily? Easily, easily. You live easily. You could easily live in Kabul, Afghanistan. Is there a war happening? Is the Taliban doing their thing?

No war, no war. War's over. War's over? I could kick it in Kabul for a month easy. Enjoying life. Now, am I doing stand-up every night? No. But could I take a little vacation?

I don't know if you're kidding with me. I'm just telling you, I think that- I'll give you two options. Either you're kidding or this is stupid. That's this pretentious-ass shit. It's not pretentious. You're doing the thing that you- It's not pretentious that you could live in Kabul and be happy or get by or you could be no big deal.

You're doing the thing that gets. It's not virtue signaling to say. I didn't say virtue signaling, but that is, if you don't agree with me, you're dumb is why Trump is elected. And this is what Democrats do. Yeah, but sometimes dumb is dumb Yeah, but people are dumb so deal with that shit

like Like this is the problem is like you have all these people that go to Ivy League schools and they're like we know better than everybody Else and we'll just tell you what to do and you guys are all stupid And I know you feel like you want this but you don't really want this and if you disagree with me You're an idiot and then all of a sudden they go. you know what fuck you guys. I'm going for that one. It's very simple Yeah, that's true, too. So we can't speak down to people if we know that they're gonna react emotionally I guess what I'm trying to say is yeah, even with the even with the like for example the Israel conversation, right? So if I know people are reacting emotionally to this, right?

Who is the burden on if we have this deep connection with Israel, which I believe we do, right? I think the burden is on Israel to prove to the American people who definitely they rely on for support in this conflict. I think the burden is on them to communicate to the American people why it's advantageous to America to continue to support them. Like, and if they can't communicate a reason, you can't be upset at the American people

for being confused about it. We have that same energy towards Ukraine. We go, wait a minute, they're getting how many billion dollars? Okay, over here, if eggs were cheap, I don't care about where you throw the money. But once eggs get expensive, I start going, where's the money going? $200 million going over there? So when economic times are very difficult here in America, or any country in the world,

there's gonna be some questions asked about where this money is going. As they should be. As they should be, I think it's a very normal thing. And unfortunately for Jews, when economic times turn shitty in countries, people start looking and they go, I think it might be their fault.

But why is that throughout history? Because there's an ambient, there's an ambient energy towards Jews. This is just my opinion. But it's ambient energy towards Jews. That's so well-cooked. What a great phrase, an ambient energy. You're so right. Because it's not a bright light bulb. Right. It's a small one. And it comes from the fact that most people don't know Jews. They've never met a Jew. They have no fucking clue. They think Jews are like Jerry Seinfeld. They have no clue that they're Sephardic Jews. They have no clue that there's these African Jews.

Try being one in Kabul, Afghanistan. Probably difficult. So they just don't understand what it is, right? They've never met one. They only know the stereotypes. And I think they kind of almost lock up Jews into the similar ilk as the Rockefellers or the Vanderbilts.

They think they're these elitist people. I don't think Jews even realize that. Because I think Jews are, not all Jews are going, yeah, yeah, we're rich and we have all this money. They're just going, I think a lot of Jews in the Northeast are looking at the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts going, that's some pretty cool shit. I mean Ralph Lauren definitely was like,

hey that wasp stuff, that's pretty cool. I wanna do that. Right? There's like an envy of the wasps in the northeast from the Jews, I feel like almost. I mean, I feel like they really, they admire it. Anyway, the average person's looking at them as like these elites that they can't touch.

And I think that there's like religious teachings that see like this separatism. It's like they're not trying to proselytize. Why don't they care if I go to heaven? Like my whole life is about trying to get as many people to go to heaven as I possibly can, but they don't care. I think it's just hard for them to get. And this ambient light that has these negative stereotypes they own or control, and when the economy's good, I don't give a fuck. I don't care if you're sending USAID to do

tranny plays in fucking Pakistan, I don't care. But the second I can't afford eggs, I go, no more tranny plays. And why does that group of people seem to have a lot of power? And that light that's ambient gets bright. That's not wrong. And you're right, I shouldn't say stupid.

Thanks, bro. You know, I mean, you're right. I get excited sometimes and I blame the pot. But you're right, I shouldn't say stupid. Thanks, Bill. You know, I mean it, you're right. I get excited sometimes and I blame the pot. But you're right, I can think it. Yeah, you don't say it. I'm still thinking it, but you're right. I tell this. You shouldn't say it, no, you're right, I shouldn't say it.

I tell this all the time like. But you wouldn't survive in a couple, anyway. I tell this all the time to people, like when we get into these arguments, like I don't even want to talk about, but the trans shit is a perfect example. Like I was talking to this journalist, and I was like, what do you think we disagree on?

And he goes, ah, well, some of the trans stuff, or whatever, I'm like, well, what about? And he's like, ah, well, the trans women in sports. And I was like, well, what do you think about the trans women in sports? He's like, honestly, I think it's a red herring that the right uses, and I go, you didn't answer my question.

And he goes, well, I mean, I just feel like it's not really a talking point that really that matters that much. And it's like, I said this, I go, listen, if I say something that bothers my wife, I don't explain to her why she shouldn't be bothered. Smart. I've done that for years and it drives her fucking crazy.

I've learned that well, women too. We learn that the hard way. We learn it the hard way. What we do is we go, okay, I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. Right. We meet them where they're feeling. And I feel like so much in the discourse,

it's like explaining with facts why the other person is wrong instead of understanding what they're experiencing, just feeling. You know, I mean, this honestly is what I've been preaching. I'm sure you know. Yeah, of course. But like on my show. That's why I'm here. You know, I mean, Kid Rock was here a couple of weeks ago and he said, I want you to meet

Trump. He said, I'm going to take you to the White House. So now we're going to do that. That'd be, I think that's a good conversation. And like there will be lots of people on the left who will be like, how dare you talk to this man? I'm like, fuck you, you know, I'm not playing this game that you mean girls play. Where like, oh, you know what? You can't sit at my lunch table

because I'm just not talking to you. Not talking to you, you lost the election. Who the fuck do you think you have to talk to? You know, it's one thing if you win it. Yeah, yeah. It's another thing if you lose it. You gotta start talking to you, you lost the election. Who the fuck do you think you have to talk to? You know, it's one thing if you win it. It's another thing if you lose it. You gotta start talking to people. You have to talk. And I see Gavin Newsom is doing this now. He's changed his tune. He's got a podcast. And the first guest was Charlie Kirk. I thought that was brilliant.

And he mentioned me. He said, like, I take my, I'm noticing what Bill does, talks to both sides, like, is left leaning, but not afraid to criticize the people on his team. Like, we gotta get more of this going. This has to become the center. This has to become a real center. Right now, it's a few lonely islands that need to become a bigger fucking sandbar. Yeah.

No, for real. You're right. It needs to be normalized. Normalized, yes. I think we're so... I think that Americans, we like bravery. We have very, what is it, high risk tolerance, meaning like we take risk. Like, I think it's kind of like in our DNA to take risk.

All of our family, whoever came here from your family years ago, they left their entire family and they just moved here. So, we just have the DNA of crazy people, really, that are like willing to risk it all, right? So, when we see people that are afraid of having conversations, I think there's like almost like a primal instinctual reaction to it.

It's not American. It's not American. And I think that was, I don't want to politicize this shit, but I think that was a little bit of the concern with Kamala on the campaign trail. It looked like Trump was willing to talk to whoever. He was. He was. Like his camp, when we spoke to him, they didn't give us any notes.

He's going to talk to me. Okay? Do you know what? And think about all this shit. Who's been meaner than me? I mean, only JD Vance. JD Vance is the only one who said meaner shit about Trump than you. Yeah.

Well, lots of people have. But like, I mean, you know. And he said, I have five pages of things. I asked my staff once, and I guess it's six now because it's been a while, like just write down all the things he said in tweets and at rallies. It's five pages long. Crazy, low energy, ratings disaster, you know, like every bad thing that he just pulls out of his ass. But I don't care and he doesn't care. He doesn't care either.

He doesn't care. It's all performative. Like, not on, I mean, look. No, you guys might feel it, but it wouldn't stop you guys from having a discussion with another because you're not pussies. We're not pussies. It's very simple. It's like, are you a pussy or are you not? And I learned that once. My longest relationship, way back in the early 90s, and her father was military.

And he and I did not see eye to eye politically, but he liked me because I wasn't a pussy. That's my model for meeting Trump. It's like, you know, be respectful, which he deserves. He won, not won, but twice. Like, funny, my girl said to me, what are you gonna wear? I said, I'm not gonna dress like Zelensky.

Not a fucking Lululemon outfit. It's not gonna be a black t-shirt. Zelinsky pulled up looking like a yoga instructor. It's not gonna be a black t-shirt, man. I am wearing a suit and tie. Absolutely. Jordan Peterson gave me a suit. He sat here and he said,

I want you to have a suit. And I, Jordan, I don't like suits. I'm not gonna send you a suit. I'm gonna wear that suit. Yup, dud. The Jordan Peterson approved suit. It's a good, I mean, I don't like suits. I'm gonna send you a suit. I'm gonna wear that suit. Yup, dud. The Jordan Peterson approved suit. It's a good, I mean, I guess whatever. It's a sign of respect, but.

It's a sign of respect. It's the White House. Even if you disagree with the person in it, you are respecting the law of the land. You are respecting the position in general. And you also have to respect that, you know, the guy did win. It's more than half the country or whatever.

I mean, I just, I keep saying it. I'm not going to hate, you cannot like Trump. You can hate him. You can't hate everybody who vote for him. Yes. And you have to understand why. I'm not, I just, I said it in my last special. I don't hate half the country and I don't want to hate half the country.

You know, it's just not where my mind ever wants to go for my own mental health is all this hate. So yes, I will talk to anybody and it's an honor to be invited to the White House under any circumstances. Absolutely. Also, it allows you to have a platform with him where you can tell him the things you disagree with. I think it's, it's, it's, it's.

Somebody was saying that to me. It's generous. They were like, why? To allow that to happen. Of course, but this is also part of American discourse. It's very important. Like even the, like I think he needs to do the White House Correspondence Dinner.

Just because I think a very unique thing about it. Totally. Like we humble our heroes. It is a very beautiful thing about it. Like, we humble our heroes. It is a very beautiful thing about American culture, right, is that we will make you beg for our support every four years. You don't just get to be king. That's why it was great when Ricky Gervais

hosted the Golden Globes. We take the piss out of the big ones. The big ones, the elites. We take the piss out of them. And you saw the reaction, right? Yes. Everyday people. Visceral.

It was visceral. And I think it's important. And that's what Tom Brady wrote, kind of got back to that. 100%. Here's this guy whose life is perfect, he's got absolutely everything. Yes.

He's submitting himself. Fuck him. Yeah. But look, that's the human interaction. It is. I'm sure that when you got successful, and I get some success, you realize, oh shit, there are all these people that are hating on me for things that when you got successful, and I get some success, you realize,

oh shit, there are all these people that are like, they're hating on me for things that aren't even true, and they're saying these things about me. It's a compliment. Also, that's a part of success. That's the cost of success, that is what it is. They care enough. You're not writing about them.

Facts. But it is a beautiful part of American culture where we get to put the heroes up in a pedestal and also humble them at the same time. And the thing about Trump doing this, he's already done a roast. So it's not like he's afraid to do a roast. So I think we gotta get back to that.

Now, you gotta- You did have some ground rules though. For the roast? Yeah, I think it was just, Don't say he's broke. That's it. I've heard that before. Don't say he's broke. That's it. I've heard that before. Don't say he's broke.

Just don't. Isn't that crazy? He's like, yo, talk about my kids. Right, tell him to. Talk about my wife. I'm a racist. I'm a cheater. Talk, talk, talk.

He's adding. I'm just fucking thinking about where I am. Don't say I'm poor. Just do not say. Being poor is the worst thing you could possibly be. I know. Why do you think that he's able to connect to working class people despite coming from money?

He is them. That. I mean he is them. Did you see The Apprentice, the movie? No, no, but I. May I suggest a date night with the wife? Yes, yes, please. Please, it's such a great movie.

This is with Sebastian Stan, right? Correct, who is brilliant in it. It's funny, I saw him as Tommy Lee. I didn't really love that performance or movie. But he is so brilliant as Trump. And it's a brilliant movie that was not given its due, even though both he and Jeremy Strong were nominated as best actor. Both of them should have been.

Or maybe it was best supporting, but whatever it was, they were both brilliant performances. Jeremy Strong as Roy Collin, who apprenticed Trump to be who he is. But of course, we're in such a politicized time that the people who just can't stand Trump hate that it humanized him. Oh, wow. It wasn't mean enough. It wasn't mean, well, it's funny, the first half of it,

before he meets Roy Collin, it does humanize him because he's a human. So like it shows him when he was first like working for his father. That's funny. And he's collecting. How dare you humanize a human being? I mean, I think he's a human being

who has a narcissistic syndrome that makes it hard for him to be a logic. You think someone who ran for president is a narcissist? Okay, so well, not to that... What a crazy idea! Nobody has been a narcissist to that degree, so please. I don't know if that's true. Yeah, okay. Well, it's good that we don't agree on everything and still can be friends.

But anyway, the point is that in the first half of the movie, like it's just how he started out in life. Like he was collecting rents for his father. He didn't start out like, OK, so he's collecting rents. And when you collect rents from people, like one person opens the door and throws hot water at him. Like people do that when you go to collect. So it's not like he started with the silver spoon exactly.

He did to a degree, but it just shows, like he wasn't like everywhere. And then the second half, it's the opposite. The Trump people think that's too rough on him. So everybody abandoned the movie. But for those 20% in the middle, who are willing to just watch a piece of art for a piece of art, it's a fantastic movie,

and it really gets at a lot of what's wrong with our discourse, is that you can't just look at the movie. You have to make a political decision about it. And this is how I think people get caught up in, like, they don't even create based on their own opinions, they create based on the algorithm. Like, the algorithm teaches them what they want to do. So true.

Right? Because they see a video, get, like, a lot of views, and they go, oh, I guess this is what I want to do. And it's like, oh, no, no, you just never had an interesting thought by yourself. You're waiting for something to stick and you want attention. Right? And it's like, the people who made that movie actually had the bravery of going, I'm gonna potentially piss off both sides that would support this.

And what you're left with is 20%. Which is, I mean, I don't know, that's why I think it's, and what I said to you in the beginning, that's why I think it's brave when you're willing to piss off your base. I think it's very important. But what you get is the trust right how many people are exactly did

People will trust you right even if they disagree with you the yes, he's not grifting. He's not lying It means it means the world to me and when you meet people there's a connection that they have yes And then there's other people who are just They're like what I would say is more grift, where you go, I know what the base wants, I'm going to echo those sentiments, they're gonna consume it because it makes them feel good, but the second that I disagree with them,

they will abandon me. I mean, Matt Tybee has written brilliantly on this. What does he say? Well, he, I mean, he's a big media critic, and some of it I think goes over the top, but his basic thesis, and he's so true, was that media at some point became a group of people who the way they run their businesses, first we ask how would the audience that we're servicing want us to interpret this story?

And then we give them that. Now, of course, a lot of them become brainwashed and they just already think that way. But that's not what media used to do, it's not what it's supposed to do. So it's so funny it's like there was a show on Fox called Red Eye, do you remember that show? Comics would go on it and they basically, you could just go and like, it was a great opportunity for a young comic and you make fun of different shit, right? And like, I was in.

What was this on? It was on Fox, Fox News, like super late at night. Fox News? Yeah, Greg Gutfeld hosted it before he had his show. Not Fox, Fox News. Yeah, Fox News. That's why I never saw it. Probably.

But there was like, it was a cool opportunity as like a young comic. Right, sure. You're like, oh're like sure I'm playing the show and This does connect what you're just saying but uh, I bet I remember I would go on and like I was so naive Dude, like I grew up in New York City. Like I don't fucking know like I thought that there was some Whatever and every and I know I thought that there was like a little bit of Authenticity or purity to what we're doing. I didn't thought that there was like a little bit of authenticity or purity to what we were doing.

I didn't know that there was like an agenda, right? So I'm just on here. Who's doing it? To the program, right? Oh, okay. Or even to the network, right? So I'm going, so I have some story about like some random college in like Oregon about like,

hey we're not gonna, we're gonna have like a no white people on campus day or something, but like some random. Oh, I know the story. You remember the story. Rhett Weinstein was the professor. Right. Who got lost a job for it. Right.

Yes, they had like, I don't know what was officially called that, but it was basically no white people day. Something, right. Because white people are toxic and so we can't have them. It's absurd and ridiculous. And then like, I remember us talking about it and I was like, and I sat on the show and I was like, so wait, is this like kind of what we do?

We just take the most obscure, ridiculous, left-wing thing, and we just pretend that that's what everybody thinks? That's what Tucker Carlson does every night. Yeah, so I grew up in New York City in a fucking dance family. My parents did a dance studio. Really?

Is that right? Yeah, as Democrat as it could possibly be, right? So I'm here, and I'm seeing this, and I'm just like, what's going on here, and then everybody kind of looked at me like I didn't know what the schtick was Like it was like like you know like I broke the k-fabe or whatever I called And I didn't get it like sometimes you don't even need to communicate to the people on your network what they need to do right It's like in the ethos when you're in the building you want to get raises you want to communicate to the people on your network what they need to do. It's like in the ethos. When you're in the building, you want to get raises,

you want to be rewarded, so you start echoing the sentiments and reward the people that are echoing it, and then the other people fall in line. So no one explicitly has to tell you these are our points of view. You know, I said almost the exact same thing recently, and somebody who I mentioned in it got mad at me. Who, Tucker?

No, I'm not gonna say. But I don't wanna make it a feud. And I actually apologize. I didn't wanna, maybe I shouldn't have brought up specific names. But I was saying almost the same thing that you're saying, that like, it's amazing how we just get kind of seduced

by the people around us and the people who are providing the craft services, shall we say. Hell, you all fall into it. I'm eating your doughnuts. What am I gonna, be against the candidate? Yeah, I mean, this guy's probably a good guy, right? You like him, right? I didn't buy this doughnut.

I'm a schmuck and I'm gonna. Yeah, you fall in, that's like a human thing. You just fall into it. So, yeah. Yeah, I'm curious. It is like, it is a constant matter of vigilance not to. So that's why I so applaud the 20%. I mean, I'm picking that number out of my ass,

but it's probably close. So applaud them because it's not easy. I mean, I do it for a living. It takes courage. So it's okay, I'm getting paid to do it. You're not, you're just doing it as a citizen. That's what I- And a thinker.

I always say this, like whenever I'm going through something or somebody's trying to position me in some certain way, and I have empathy for them doing that, by the way. Like, they see a headline, and they don't understand the context of anything, and then their views about the world, they might see something like that, and they'll be like,

I don't agree with this type of stuff, and then they put that on me, and that's okay. I'm sure I've done that a million times with people. It is what it is, it's a human thing. But I have a great appreciation to the people that will defend me despite what the idea about me might be, because they get nothing out of it besides wanting to show support to someone they care about. Like you said, you get paid.

We're able to do comedy and podcasts and shows. It's really awesome. But the fan that's willing to take that on the chin, they're at a family dinner and they're going, yeah, I was watching Bill, and they go, oh, you know what he said about that. Right. Like that.

So true. They're incredible. Yes. The peer pressure of coworkers, newsrooms, have become kindergartens because it's the mob mentality of the newsroom. I'm not making this up. Many people have written stories about this.

Like, the newsroom at the Washington Post or the New York Times is such a mean girl's emporium. And if you step outside the bounds of what the group think is, I mean, we've seen this many times at the New York Times. Barry Weiss had to leave and she started the free press. Yeah, she's great. I was just talking to her.

Yeah, she's great, yes. And Nellie Bowles, her wife, the same thing, New York Times, and they just, Pamela Paul, who I just was on Real Time the week before and loved her columns in the New York Times, which were not unreasonable at all. They were exactly where I am. I always agree with, they're leaning left,

but unafraid to call out woke on nonsense. And she apparently couldn't survive there. I mean, that is a very bad place for media to be in. I think there's this tricky decision where it's like, hey, we can also criticize the administration when they do things wrong. Like, they're in power now. When they weren't in power,

I understand how you want to get them into power, so you're like, let's turn a blind eye to things that we maybe disagree with. Now they're in control. They are the institution. We have to criticize them. This is part of, so. You won and you're in.

You get the jokes. That's it. You won, you're in, you get the jokes. Well, we'll see if he agrees at the dinner. This is why disseminating this information and talking to the people you disagree with is really important. Very important.

Because there's a lot of people, myself included, just uneducated people who will go with the trend that kind of makes me feel good as someone who pays a lot of taxes. I'm from New York, I'm like, yeah, I'll pay all this fucking taxes, what am I getting at, right? And then I need somebody to go and have a conversation where it's like. I can never, no story that I read anywhere do I trust fully.

I have to read a second story or a third about this subject before I feel like, okay, now I got the full story. Why didn't you first assholes tell me the full story? Because people don't want the full story. They really don't. They want to feel good. Right. They want to feel good. Feeling good. And you know who knows that? These corporations, not even corporations, but these businesses that run these, you know. And masturbators. Oh God, do they know it. We just want to feel good. Are we bad people?

No. We're not bad people. No, I mean, you know. It's monkeys doing. Dude, have you ever watched, did you watch that Chimp Empire show on Netflix? No, but I'm a big fan of chimps and I support their cause monetarily. I support a chimps cause, yes. You put your money behind the chimps.

Yes, absolutely. The producer, one of the producers of my show has a big charity for chimps. I met them tonight, right? No, no, my real-time show, my HBO show. And that charity, they have a big... Chimp Foundation. Chimp Foundation and a Chimp Reserve in Georgia.

Oh, wow. Where the chimps can be chimps. They can chimp it up. You know, no tuxedos. None. They get to let a rip out know, no tuxedos. None. They get to let a rip out there. No tuxedos, no cigars, no riding tricycles. You gotta watch this Chimp Empire show and it's like, you kinda watch it and you're like,

oh this is too close to who we are. Like. They're very close. True. They're close and then there's other things that. Yes. Like this idea of like having having to maintain the alpha, right? You also see how that's disruptive in terms of creating any technology, sharing any advantageous information.

There's this one dude who needs to show he's alpha, and every once in a while he just fucks up everything in the neighborhood. He's like a drunk dad or whatever, just comes around. You're talking about a chimp now? Chimp, yeah. Oh, okay. And he's like, I need to show everybody I'm alpha. So he talking about a chimp now? Chimp, yeah. Oh, okay. And he's like, I need to show everybody I'm Alpha.

So he just starts fights with people, fucks shit up and does whatever. And the problem with that is that you can't sit around and develop fire when you're worried that this guy is gonna punch you in the back of the head every second. So everybody's just kind of like on edge, hoping this Alpha won't start shit. Doesn't that describe and I'm sorry, but doesn't that describe

today's Administration talk to me. We just talk to me if you put against me if you push back against me It sounds exactly like what's going on now with the tariffs and everything else and like he's gonna take over Greenland And we're gonna invade Canada and everybody is just like is this alpha? No, no, no just gonna do some crazy shit. I mean the stock market is down. Okay, so over a thousand points I'm sure that affects you a little bit. Yeah, I don't know how to talk. I do have stocks I should know more about it, but yeah, yeah, don't panic. It'll go back up. That's what we hope Yeah, but you know it does I'm sorry, but it just, when you said that, I can't help but think

that's exactly what Elon Musk, you know, brilliant guy. I've defended him many times, more than most people have, but you know, I don't like that he, I don't like, I support that he took Twitter and turned it into something freer, but he just turned it into something really almost as right-wing as it used to be left-wing, which would be okay too, except that he very often retweets some of the worst stuff. Why? He had a great idea that, oh, I can go in with my Doge boys and find the waste, but the way he did it was very, I'm on the spectrum.

Yeah, I think there is that, and I think he is on the spectrum, and it's probably harder to relate emotionally to things. I am a little bit more optimistic about the intentions of the administration. It doesn't mean it's gonna work out, but I don't think that Musk is trying to get richer. No, he's definitely not.

I've always defended him on that. He does not care about money. Yeah, he's got all the money. I think he thinks that this actually will help America. I've been with him at times, and he did not have a house. He was like staying at a friend's house. It doesn't matter to him. He will sleep on the couch.

Or sleep at the Tesla factory, as he did to get that going. I think he brags about, we work the weekends. Let's have pizza at one in the morning, and keep working, and then sleep here. He's an engineer. That's what turns him on. And I respect that. I think it's important.

Right. But nobody put any sort of brakes on this. And to do it this way and to take such glee in the cruelty of it, the people who got letters that said, do something valuable with your life. Now, you can't tell me that that's... These are the things that are antagonistic and twisting the knife that I don't think is helpful for the discourse. Horrible.

But I will say that I think if there's one thing Democrats could learn, it's the importance of the American sentiment, where it's like Americans like abundance and we like hope. Barack sold us on hope and we will buy that every single time. I think that sometimes the Democrats are too safe. They don't sell me on abundance. Trump goes, we're going to take Greenland. We're not even really going to take it. But he says it and then Americans go, all right, that might be kind of cool. So Democrats, what is your bill at the wall?

I think it is kind of cool as long as it's not by force. Yeah, if it's consensual, it's cool. Exactly. But if you're growing up in Greenland you don't want to be part of America. That's the slogan. Greenland, we're not raping it. We're asking. We're asking. It's consensual. So it's a consensual thing. What I would tell anybody, like what I would try to explain to Democrats is like you have to give us hope and abundance Like I need a slogan build a wall is Emblematic of something that people feel right so it could be as simple as like dollar eggs Hey, if we get in power, we are subsidizing eggs. You'll never have to worry about getting your kid eggs

It's a dollar. That is a road road you don't want to go down. You do not want to go down subsidizing food staples. It's what they do in third world countries. It's what we do in America. It's what we do with the dairy industry. It's what we do with the rice industry. It's what we do. Well, we do it on the-

Corn industry. Of course, we've been doing it for years. We do it further down the trail, yes, on the chain. They do grain and stuff. You're right. Not like at the... It sounds to me like you're talking on the on the chain they do like grain and stuff Yeah, you're right, but not like at the you're talking sounds to me like you're talking on the supermarket No, I'm talking about on the farmer level and again listen the chicken. I'm talking about the chickens But what comes first? It's more about like how do you how do you communicate to Americans that we want to meet you at your

needs and how are we going to say that and how are we going to say certain things that are going to penetrate the discourse. Americans don't have a fucking, Democrats don't have a slogan that tells a hardworking but poor American that they're going to be able to get more. They had a slogan in the last election. It was Free tits for prisoners. Okay, not a great one That crushed Dude, it was so funny that one commercial I've been talking to the guy

I don't know if he wants to remain nameless, but a guy who made the commercial the Trump is for you She's for them. That's genius. And they opened with Charlamagne. You know Charlamagne. Him and I do a podcast together. Oh, I know you do. Love him. He's amazing. Tell him I said hi. I absolutely will. And every time he references me on the show, it really tickles me.

I appreciate it. Like, you'd be like, hey, I gotta go home and watch Bill Maher. Oh, he watches you religiously. Oh, I know. And he has a lot of respect for you. I love it. He's the goat. To me, he's like a... Yeah, Maher. Oh, he watches you religiously. Oh, I know. And he has a lot of respect for you. He's the goat. He is like, to me he's like a...

Great reach, great influence. And also like, I don't know if this is fair, but a lot of times I judge people based on where they've come from and how far they've gotten in their life. So to go from billionaire to like 1.1 billion isn't as impressive as to go from trailer park in South Carolina to one of the most

powerful voices in Indiana is like, anyway. But we're talking about that, like, just knowing how that kind of ended up happening is kind of funny, but like how do Democrats start communicating? Because say what you want about AOC's politics, she communicates to the people in her district that she wants to help them. Bernie communicated in a way that he wanted to help people.

I think AOC and Trump pulled the same in her district. What does that say? That says that those same people will cross the political lines to the people they feel are looking out for their best interests. So how do Democrats start organizing in a way? I mean, I would check that stat on Trump and AFC polling. I just made that up, but I think it sounds good. Come on.

You know what I mean? I think it sounds good. Hey, you don't look up that Bronx district. I love the honesty even when it's dishonest. No, no, no. I think there sounds good. Hey, you don't look up that Bronx district. I love the honesty even when it's dishonest. No, no, no. I think there is facts there. They pulled very similarly in the area. I mean, here's what did happen.

Trump did very well in the Bronx. You're right. Trump did very well. That could be a true stat, like a favorability rating. But that was one of the districts that was most shocking to leftists. You're right. And they should learn.

Like, instead of, I think the knee-jerk reaction is to make the opposition radioactive. It's like, guys, they like the opposition. The first thing Democrats have to do is stop the bleeding on the left, on the far left. Stop people from being able to go, you know, I don't really like Trump and he seems pretty bad with women and that doesn't sit well with me and the wife sure hates him. But you know what?

At least he likes America. At least he thinks women are the only ones who can have babies. Things like that. Those are the things that people go, I just can't vote for those people. They just seem crazy. They just seem like they are not tethered to reality.

Which is, when you lose that contest to Donald Trump, who's also not tethered to reality in many ways, I mean, you're saying something. Dude, I wonder if like, and again, I don't know too much about the Ilhan Omar's politics or whatever. Oh, Ilhan Omar? Is that who you're talking about? Ilhan, Ilhan?

Ilhan Omar. You can call her Ilhan Omar. I call her that because that's her name. She's the representative from Minnesota. I think, whatever. Maybe I'm saying it wrong. Ilhan, I thought it was, but I guess I think that like. Whatever it is, I don't like her.

So the point that I'm trying to make here is it like is she is she a representative of America or Palestine? Is my question. Well, here's the thing is important It's like I think that she has the and I don't even know if she understands us as privileged But like she has an identity outside of being American Like she she has this separate identity from another country that has thousands of years of history and that's baked into who she is Some of us where you would happily live well around happily live like and it would be so great So she married her brother and it is what it is. So you could do that I mean if I had a sister that it no you can marry your sister

I don't know what you could do. But the point is I do anything to a woman Okay, so let's just put that right on the table. So the point I'm trying to make is like, some of us only have America. We only have this. So when you attack this, I'm gonna defend it till the day I die. I love America more than anything in the entire world.

It's the greatest country in the human existence. It's the greatest experiment in existence, and it has succeeded. So we only have this. You have to find a way to communicate what you believe to be the shortcomings of America in a way that doesn't make us feel like you don't love it. Totally.

My mom is an immigrant. She loves, like, you cannot tell my mom that she cannot, that I cannot achieve anything, that she cannot achieve anything in this country. It's one of the reasons why I think it's important to bring in immigrants because they remind us of the opportunities. And they're appreciative because they know

what it's like in these other countries. And we don't, we don't. Well I do, you don't, because you would live in Kabul. You have to travel because you're UTIs. You don't even leave the country. I don't have to, first of all, I have traveled, and second of all, you don't have to travel to understand what's going on in other countries. Have you lived outside the country. I don't have to. First of all, I have traveled. And second of all, you don't have to travel to understand what's going on in the country.

Have you lived outside the country? No, but I read. I can read about what's there. This is this Ivy League shit that's so annoying to Americans. Oh, reading. Yes. Stop reading so much. It's gay.

Oh. Now I see you're just fucking with me when you say these things. Yes. Okay. But in terms of living outside, like I've lived outside the country and it's important to, I haven't lived in the Middle East, but living in Spain, there are little things that you will appreciate that we have here that even in a major city in Spain that they didn't have an AC unit.

Exactly. Like a little thing we take for granted. Totally. That we don't realize how amazing we have it here. Yeah. And that's just the physical part of it. Yes, the technological part of it. The toilets always work that kind of stuff. It's but it's also We do have free speech that they don't even have in Europe I mean in Europe you and I both would get a knock on the door from the police in some countries Germany

I mean 60 minutes just did a story on this definitely I found it was eye-opening. Because if you say something, if you say something like, really, I feel like mildly insulting about a political leader, they can knock on your door and take away your, it's crazy, they don't have the same tradition of free speech as we have here.

They don't have a first amendment. It is pretty awesome. And we take it for granted. We do. So it's the physical part, it's that part. It's also this part. We have this idea as with all our problems and all our shittiness, people have the idea here that tomorrow

can always be different. You can always reinvent yourself. You can start something new. There's not other countries, including the Western European democracies, which are great countries, but in France, you take the baccalaureate when you're 16. You're kind of, your life is kind of there decided at 16.

Oh really? Yes, you're really gonna go on to be a tradesman or a professional of some sort. They're much more structured and strictured than we are. And this country is kind of like, okay, well tomorrow I will be an influencer who eats my asshole, you know, and you can make that work. I don't admire that you can, but people make shit work

and don't have this idea that there's any cutting down of the tallest trees, like everything is open. And there is a greatness in that. This is something that like you cannot underestimate. When Americans lose, like every American thinks they're gonna be a millionaire. The day they're born, they're like, I'm gonna be a millionaire one day.

And we run on that. That is the energy that we run on. And the second Americans start to feel like that's not an opportunity for them, shit gets dark fast. You need to do whatever you can to reinforce this idea that it's really immigrant mentality, even though the people are born here.

You can make it. And that's what makes, I mean, that was at the forefront of everything. The reason why it resonates in people's minds is because it does happen. You see retards become millionaires. Like actual people who are retarded can become millionaires.

Dude, you know what I realized is like, a lot of times I think the perception of comedians is that like we say something and if you're offended by it, we're angry. And it's like you can react however you want to react to things, like I don't police your reaction. If you're offended, that's okay. Like, but if I was talking to you and you're like,

hey, that makes me feel uncomfortable, that word, I just won't say it around you. I don't care. And if I was talking to you and you're like, hey, that makes me feel uncomfortable, that word, I just won't say it around you. I don't care. But that doesn't mean I won't continue to make a joke that might have it in it or say something with other people. But on a one-on-one level, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.

Do you look through your social media and see what people are mad at you about? Yeah, I think I check. I also think it's important to get a litmus test. If I'm writing something, if I'm writing my hour, I block out everything. Because I don't want to create for my haters. I feel like a lot of people fall in that trap of, how can I appease the people that don't like me?

I want to make something that I really believe in and I think is honest and authentic to me. And then after releasing it, I think it's important to understand how you're taking in the marketplace. Oh, do people think I'm this, there are people think I'm this right wing maga lunatic because I had Trump on the podcast.

I think that, no I'm kidding. But what a great segue to plug your special. No, no, I don't want to do that. No, no, I do want to. Okay, okay'm kidding. But what a great segue to plug your special. No, no, I don't want to do that. No, no, I do want to. OK, OK, OK. But you know, you just said, I spend my hour writing. I'm interested in that. You purposefully write the special.

It's not like the stuff you gather over. No, I gather it like this one was different. This one is basically. And it's called? It's called Life. And it's on Netflix. It's on Netflix. And it's on now.

It's on now, yeah. And it's basically about me trying to get my wife pregnant and like I found out my sperm sucks You know science knows how to do that. Well. We had to use science. That's this one, right? Yes, it's about you have to do turkey baster. I had to do not we tried turkey baster. Yeah, you're serious That didn't work. No, and don't do use one that you used with the turkey. That's that's what the problem Yeah, I use that and my wife gave birth. The gilets came out. But yeah, so it's just the story of us having to do it. Like usually the woman is the one that's obviously concerned about her eggs and these things,

but with me it was fine. God damn it, I was going to do that bit. Yeah, right. You would never have kids. Not bad. I was trying to get a girl pregnant. You're out there trying to fucking boycott. But you did finally get it done.

What was the problem? My sperm doesn't swim and it's shaped weird. Yeah, it always comes down to something silly like that. And I don't feel that that in any way affects your masculinity. I don't think that at all. I think you're just as masculine as the next guy if the next guy is Richard Simmons. Anyway. Dude, you want to know what's crazy?

Like, emotional reaction. When, obviously I had like whatever interactions with the doctor about, but like there was this like week or two afterwards where I thought that like primally my wife would no longer be attracted to me. Like there would be this like instinctual thing that would happen. There is. Absolutely.

You may not think it, but it's absolutely true. It's called the ick. Oh, I don't believe in ick. I don't believe in that. You may not believe in the ick, but it believes in you. No, no, I don't believe in it. I'll tell you why I don't believe in it. I think there's so much societal pressure on women to be married that they would rather

be with a person that they don't like than alone. I think women are terrified of being alone. Certainly that describes the world of yesteryear. I think women today, I think you're describing something that is a little in the past. No, no. Not that there aren't many women like that still, there are, but I think way less than there was 25 years ago.

Let's say maybe there is, but let's say hypothetically some of them are still locked into these institutions. Obviously, you grew up religious, right? Not you, but like some women. Catholic, yes. Yeah, some women grew up religious, right? They have strong family values in the religion. Catholics, Jews, Christians, and there's this huge pressure to get married and start a family.

And I think that that pressure that women have, men don't have it, our biggest fear is being with someone we hate. Clearly you have it, right? Motherfucker. Clearly. This guy got a whole bunker built. I feel like I've walked the walk.

If you can see this whole room, it says single. There's a stripper pole behind me. Well, my tax forms say single. You know, I don't mean, I'm not trying to hide it, man. So, so like, I think what happens is these girls end up in, they end up in relationships with these dudes that they actually don't like. And then when you don't like someone,

and you are with them, everything about them disgusts you. Because you know you settled. And that's a horrible thing to live with. And that's the ick. That's the ick, yeah. So what I'm trying to say is it's women's fault. No, it's very true. I mean, you said that there's societal pressure

and religious pressure, family pressure. There's also biological pressure. It is just part of a lot of women's DNA. I should mate and take care of a man and be a nurturer and have children and nurture them. And nothing wrong with that. No, it's beautiful. And you can do that and still be a brilliant person. Yeah. But do it with someone that you like so that you don't have to say it.

But you know, people, it's like a game of musical chairs at a certain point You you fear the music is gonna stop and you're the one without the chair Yeah, so you're gonna you're gonna go for a chair and then that's the problem. You're married to a chair You gotta hope you get it right and the older you the older you get, I think the harder it is. Like, if you're trying to meet somebody at 40, right, and you're meeting another person around that age, like you both have built these lives that are completely separate.

Like the odds of you being able to connect to that person and all your little idiosyncrasies matching up, that's one in a million. Well, I did it at 63, but that's all I'm gonna say about that. So far. So far. I loved meeting you. Yo, loved meeting it at 63, but that's all I'm going to say about that. So far. So far. I loved meeting you. Yeah, I loved meeting you too, man.

I'm so flattered that you came out here to do this because I know you're busy and I know your career is on a fucking skyrocket. Oh, thank you. So the fact that you would come here and do this with me in my crib. I really appreciate it. Anytime, man. This is so much fun. A real honor. Thank you. Dude, that was fun.

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