Club Random with Bill Maher - Bryan Cranston | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

In a headline making episode, Bill Maher and Bryan Cranston talk about privilege vs. advantage, the role that got Bryan Cranston in hot water, critical race theory, the show where Bill and Bryan first met, bulldozer parenting, creeps vs. nuts in casting, white peoples’ bias against themselves and tons more.

I've had a zippo lighter in the past. When I was doing... They never... Yeah, they just... If I don't put in every five times, but in Vietnam, there were always like... Burning the village all zippling. You can't light a fucking cigar with me.

I didn't always work in the jungle of the Maycon River. Because zippos work when it's nice and moist out. Yes, really? No. No. But you know, do you drink? I do. Well, you know, we have my booze over here.

Oh, one man asking a man. I'm asking a guy who's got a giant tequila company. That's not the only thing. Can I try your Dussombra? Would you? I feel like we're doing an infomercial. Would you? a tequila company. That's not the only thing. Can I try your dust home, Brian? Would you? I feel like we're doing an infomercial. Would you?

Can I try it? Set up the mood refreshing flavor. It's, yeah. It is a great little sipping thing. I love it. You're always trying tequila? I've been drinking, no, actually, mescal, this is mescal. And our mescal has been around now for

three and a half years. Mescal? Yeah, that's what you're saying. Is this type of tequila? Actually, it's the other way around. Tequila is a mescal. Oh. So,

is this from masculine? No, no. It sounds very much like mescal like mess with sounds like they possibly Could be the same drug. No, would you like it with soda? No, no you're just drinking straight. Oh, yeah Geez is that because you're on the company or just because you really like it? I like it, but if I'm if I want to sip something all night, I don't want to drink, I'll put soda in it. Well, I drink it with this, I'm gonna give this company a plug

because I think they should advertise here and maybe I think they... That's a soda. It's, I drink this stevia soda. It's called, it's called Zivia. Oh, Zivia. And I can never find it anywhere. I literally take it into a restaurant

because it's the only soda that doesn't have sugar or asperate team. So it's carbonated, it's stevia, which I think is, I'm not sure it's health food, but I think I know it's better than sugar and stevia and asperate. Well, I mean, you're saying stevia, which is that sweetener, right?

That cheers, by the way. Nice to see you. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you, bud. You know I'm a big fan of yours. I mean, I'm not just saying that. Oh, and yours. Well, long that we're just probably why we both accepted

to do this because, you know, we're almost the exact same age. You know that? I'm January 20, 1956. Ah, you're two months. And you are? I know. I'm like a month and I have older.

March 7th, 56. Mel Gibson, I think, is March 56. Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson, yeah. I think he's, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Can you imagine a view in Mel had just switched parts your whole career? Why couldn't you have been Braveheart. Why couldn't you have been brave heart?

Why couldn't you be, you know, with the umptuels for this shit guy? You could have done that, and he could have been on Malcolm in the middle. And Breaking Bad? And Breaking Bad, yeah. He probably would have. I wouldn't switch with Mel at this point. And you could have been in the passion of the Christ. Wouldn't you?

Oh, yeah. That's good. Did you ever see it? I did not see that one. You might be surprised at this, but I even said this publicly. I think it's a terrific movie. I think he's an amazing filmmaker. A poca-lipto is great movie.

Yeah. I saw it. Brave heart is awesome. And look, I'm an atheist, but I get the story. Yeah. I'm here for the story and the popcorn. As storytelling, it's very compelling. He is a very good storyteller. And, you know, he was also a very good actor at one time.

And I don't know. I mean, personal life. He was a celebration. He was a celebration. Sugar tits, remember, remember sugar tits. Oh boy. Well, he had the loon father. Right.

You know about his father. Not too much. I tried to stay with him. He had more Catholic than the Pope, you've heard that. Oh, okay, yes. He had like more Catholic than the Pope, you've heard that. Oh, okay. Yes. He had the more Catholic than the Pope, I mean, crazy Catholic. Yeah, that's tough.

Who was like, it's almost like, you know, Trumpers, who the regular Republicans aren't. That's right. Enough. Yeah. Like these 20 clowns who just held up these speakership with Kevin McCarthy. They go far right. Right. That's Mel Gibson's father with the Catholic Church.

He was always criticizing the Church because they did things like, you know, the Mass in English was too liberal for him. Oh yeah. Or like, they used to do the Mass with the priest who would have his back to the crowd. I was one of the congregants at that time, in a fucking church, and even I, at seven years old, on a Sunday, having to wear a goddamn tie and a suit. And that's the last place in the world you wanted to be. And my brother and I would get an ear twist from our mother

when we were fucking around in the pews, and those hard bench pews. Yeah. And the only thing we could have fun with in the Catholic church in those days was, are we going to stand next or are we going to kneel next? Right. We stand or kneel. And it was almost like, you know, so it was it was terrible. And the priest coming down, how does he mean he ought me to, don't he? Come on, let's see the Kanateko.

Oh, with the smoke thing. And it's like, and you don't understand a word. He goes up to the pulpit. He turns his back facing the crucifixion. And mom's here, me called my tachykanra, I mean, it's like, what the hell are we doing here?

What is this? I'm so interested to hear you talk about this because, you know, I was brought up Catholic and I also was a seven year old boy in hard bench pews and probably I made the movie religious because of how much I was turned off to religion back then when they scared the shit out of me and we went to catechism, did you go to catechism with none to taught you the Catholic. I still have the

memiographed thing they gave us of a hundred questions that we had to memorize. Like, who is God, where is God? You know, all those kind of, and there was suspicion, and you had to, and I remember crying because I was in seven or, in school, they weren't that strict. Catholic schools, they don't fuck around. No. Even today, when parents want their kids to get an actual education,

instead of the bullshit that goes on in other schools, regular schools, even if they're not Catholic, they send them to Catholic schools if they can get them in. And they just tell them, yes, there's gonna be some bullshit about Jesus.

It's just ignore that. They're going to teach you grammar. And I've seen it with kids. Absolutely. Yes. You can tell when a kid has got a Catholic education. Yeah, there's no shit about that. So you went through Catholic school all the way to high school?

No. Not Catholic school. No. And my mother was Jewish, which I didn't find out till later, but a hint should have been that she never went to church with my sister and my father and I, and I never asked why. It just never, you know, it just was never a thing,

so I never questioned it, and I was so nervous about going to church itself, it gave me such anxiety that I wasn't even thinking about that, it just, she just never went. So, but yes, my sister and I would be driven to catechism first, that was like two hours before the mass we went to. And then my father would show up at the church

and then we'd go to the mass together and then we'd go home. and then we go to the mass together and then we go home. But did you go to a Bible study and all that stuff? No, but that was by, you know, the chanichism was that. Catechism was just learning about, it's not interesting, you mentioned like what you've found appealing, which was sitting and standing. My big thing was the collection plate.

That and the red candles. The candles weren't red, but they were in this little red thing where you left. The glass, right. And you lit them for like dead people. Right. No, he did. I remember. And you put a dollar in a gold-vac. Well, that was the little slot And you put a dollar in a quarter of a 50-sat. With a little slot where you put the money in. Oh, yes. Yes.

With all the candles. And there was a slot with a cash box, basically. And they would come empty at every now and then. That's a good description of a church itself. Yeah, the cash box. But you're right. I always thought, how did they get that job? The guys look like pool skimmers, right? And they said, they send this little money. That's what fascinated

me. It was a basket on the end of a long pole. And it was just the money. And my father would give me a quarter to put into it. Oh. And one time, I remember the thing to remember, but I guess it was dramatic. You know, I was bored to tears, of course, as you were. And so I had for some reason rolled the quarter up in my shirt. So then the baskets there, and I'm like, I'm trying to get the quarter out of my shirt. I think that's where my sneaky Pete started really.

When I was so bored, I needed to do something and I was given a dollar to put in there in the basket and I would fold it up as kids do. I pombed it a couple times. I rattled the basket and just? Yeah, rattled the basket. Just good for you. Wow. There's a candy bar in plus. Well, yeah.

Yeah, that takes balls. It would have really took balls to take some out. Now that would have gotten my attention. Yeah, let me kind of change. Yeah, I'm like, put it at 10. Yeah, it's a... I find it fascinating that all those sermons I sat through, and I remember my father talking about the sermon, like, I guess, to my mother or something like, well, we got home, because

that was the part that he was interested in because it was a guy, you know, he was obviously a still a practice in Catholic. He did quit at some point, but so he cared. And he was very often disappointed because he wanted, you know, some soaring rhetoric from some wise person, because a sermon is just a speech about something that the priest or the pastor choose it to speak about.

So it can be good, it can be bad, it can be try. And it's interesting that of course I was a kid, but I can't remember one word from one, there is nothing that sticks in my mind that that sermon ever reached me. No. Well they were talking over us. Well they were talking to adults. Well, they were talking over us. Well, they were talking to adults. I mean, they were talking over us.

It wasn't for us. And I remember distinctly thinking, why are they doing this to kids? I remember that like it was a punishment. Why are they doing this to kids? This is awful. Well, and it turned me off too. I mean, it is, I mean, I think it was Richard

Dawkins who called it, you know, when just bringing a kid up in a religion child abuse, because the kid has no choice. I mean, you're just inculcating him in this superstitious voodoo and it's full of bad, I mean, occasionally the Bible stumbles upon some morality. But it's almost unintentional, you know, and pretty obvious. Do unto others as you would have said. There's a couple, there's a couple of greatest hits, but there's a lot of, you know, I always go, I've talked about it on my show, I mean slavery for the people who are wanting to cancel slavery for the people who are wanting to cancel Thomas Jefferson and George Washington could they had slaves and everybody else in an era when everyone had slaves who could afford it, including people of color in other parts of the world.

It was a human thing. It's not just a white thing. Okay, so if you're going to cancel Jefferson and Washington, you have to cancel Jesus because he never spoke against it. It's not in the old God. There's a million rules about slavery. None of them are, don't do it. And the reason is because it literally didn't cross their minds. No one ever says in either testament, what about we just don't do it at all?

What? Don't do it at all. Well, who's going to schlep the big stones over to them, you know, to make the cathedral and make the, you know, it just, it did not enter their minds. It just was a way every civilization did it. The Romans did it, the Egyptians did it. Slav is a slave comes from the word Slav. Slav, yeah, very widely. Slaves, it's just people were like, hey, if I can make you my bitch, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna fucking do it. You know? So, I just wanna hear them answer that question.

What about your boy Jesus, the Prince of Peace? Yeah. Because he's got sweet fucketh all to say about this kind of, you think of it kind of a big issue, or maybe it would, the Ten Commandments, do you think that should be maybe in the top 10, more than like false idols? Yes, yeah.

Well, he did come out and he did of course embrace, well, Jesus, he didn't come out. No, he's still closet. That's why they say, oh man. Oh man. He, you know, I mean Mary Magdalene, he was embracing of her, not judgmental of her and saying, yeah, oh, I'm not saying he was a good guy. It's a good thing. It's saying he had never crossed his mind to condemn slavery. They had, I'm telling you, they had rules about it,

but it was like some issues. If a man decapitates your slave, you make the candidate, you know. It was just, it was never like, but don't do it. But let's just junk the whole concept. It just never occurred. It never occurred. Because that talk about being privileged,

was superior there. Because mankind advances just the way humans do, in increments, that's why. 200 years ago, it's just how people thought. There was an abolition society in America at the time of the founding of the revolution, the founding of the country. It had 24 members.

That's how many people... That's it. That's it. Now, by 1860, it had changed. Yeah. And most of the world had got rid of slavery before we did. We were bringing up the rear

but you know you could game average obama was against it his first term speaking of bringing up the rear You know yes he was you know, but that was a political move. That was because he thought that politically... Yeah, but it's still, but it reflects too soon. Of course. Because it was. Yeah.

Because it reflected where the people were. Yeah. My point being that people just don't grow up overnight. Society does. It does. It's more or less. It's more or less. And, but for God's sake, it's time. It's 400 fucking years that we've dealt with this.

And our country still has not taken responsibility or accountability for the history of the systemic racism that's in this country. What should we do more? Well, I mean, for one thing, a critical race theory, I think, is essential to be teaching. It depends on what you mean by that. Well, I mean, I mean teaching how the race trade and racism is systemic in everything we've done in government, in social activities. Yes, it has been. I mean, it's embedded in it. It's like, for example, why the Second Amendment really was,

I mean, this is one person's theory, but I think it's the truth. The Second Amendment really has to do with, in a country where you were keeping hostile people in chains. Yeah. You needed guns to, you know, you needed very loose reins on guns to keep the lid on that. Yeah. That's a lot to do with why other countries don't have like a second amendment to the

way we do. And we didn't have an organized army. We didn't have an organized militia, so you had to form one quickly and be able to get your arms quickly when we were being attacked. But critical racer can mean it's just one of these catch-all terms. If you mean we should honestly teach our past, of course, if you mean more what the 16, 19 book says, which is that it's just the essence of America and that we are irredeemable. That's just wrong. It's not. I agree with that. But even teaching our past and being honest and owning up to who we are as a country in the history. Most schools are doing it. I'm sure there are ones in Texas that are not.

In Florida, they want to do away with critical race theory and a lot of other states. Because sometimes in veers, often to things that are really not appropriate in schools. So how do you govern that? If you're telling five-year-olds that you're either an oppressor or someone who was oppressed, you're introducing ideas about race that are inappropriate for kids that age, you can't understand it.

Okay, so common sense, common sense is what's lacking in this country. Yeah. That's why, but that is why people wind up passing laws about that. And yes, you're right, very often the laws go too far. But it's not coming from nothing. It's coming from things that have started in colleges and very far left woke thinking that many people feel is not appropriate in schools. I mean, the same thing with gender stuff. Can they just be kids for a minute?

Right. Okay. And that's absolutely. And we have to find that time, that level of maturity when a child can understand that at certain times in this country's history, there was a grave mistreatment of other human beings. I think we get that. Well, no, we don't get it.

What do you get? Really? You think that is not something that is now widely understood and agreed. It's definitely not widely understood. That America has a sorry race has passed. It's talked about and whispered, but they don't whispered. Yes. It's what the Jim Crow laws.

So it's a hundred years from Proclamation in 1865. It was 1965 or in 1964 when the Civil Rights Act was passed by LBJ. But this is 2023. It took a hundred years. I know, but is my point. Can we live in the year we're living in? You don't think we're living in the year living in? Okay, well, the year we're living in is not a dream.

It's not a dream. It's not what you're describing. You're describing in America, yes, that I think most right-thinking people would agree was deplorable in so many ways. No, I'm good. It's tasty though. It is good. It's very different, I'm good. It's tasty though. It is good. It's very different and I like it.

It's a little smoky, but not too smoky. Because it's mezcal and not tequila. Because it's smoked and not steamed. Yeah. Anyway, what were we arguing about? Well, probably the golden cloves, which you sound like you should be making. Hello.

No, I just think we need to live in the year we're living in. And acknowledging progress is not saying the past isn't horrible or that we're done and there's no more work to be done. It's just being realistic about where we are today and where we are today is nothing like the times you're describing, as bad as they were. So you're... I mean, I think a problem with a lot of the left, they seem to be obsessed on the past.

The past is important. It's not the only thing. They... I think most places do teach it. There are places... There are places. There are places that go too far on either side. Can we agree with that? But I bet you're most places in America. I mean, again, this is 2023.

The people who are doing the teaching are of a generation that is not mostly interested in suppressing the past or being racist. I mean, I disagree with that. Well, then you don't watch a lot of the videos that they themselves post. They themselves. Teachers and educators. Trust me, they're hyper aware of race.

If anything, it is injected too much into everything. But you sound like you're more in the Hollywood-woke camp and I'm not saying it doesn't mean we have to... No, it's like a humanistic camp. I want, did you know when you were a child, did you know that segregation was all through... Again, when I was a child, was the 60s. Yeah.

This is 2023. When you keep going back to like, how will you, and I still, the same people. It is, of course, you know what, racism is always gonna be present in not just white people, but in all people. It to a certain degree. You can't completely sanctify human nature. It's just what it is.

It's tainted. We try to extrope it as much as we possibly can, but we can't. Certainly it's a great thing that we've passed most of the laws that you would need. I mean, discrimination is illegal, has been for a very long time. Obviously, it'll always be fought in the courts and so forth. But though, but, I mean, as opposed to these errors you're talking about when it wasn't even the law, Jim Crow, yes, before the Civil Rights Act, yes, but that's a long time ago. So, And you seem to think that the country in 2023 is populated by seething racists who are unaware of our past and

the obligation we have to do better. I do agree that there are people who want to move forward without looking at the past. And when you move forward without looking at the past and course correcting, you're in trouble because it can happen again. Well, can't we do both? Can we look? Can't we recognition of the past and move forward? Yes, you can't.

Let me acknowledge the press and all. And let me ask you a question. Yeah. When you look at this guy's hat, make America great again. What do you think about that? Sweetheart, nobody has made more fun of Donald Trump than I. I know. So you can't get? Sweetheart, nobody has made more fun of Donald Trump than I.

I know. So you can't get me on like, I like Donald Trump. I know I got it. Okay. I'm not saying that. And I get your point. I've said it myself. Yes, make America great again. I understand to a certain number of people that's a dog whistle about America was better when it was wider.

I get that. Okay. But I will, would you add then also accept that there's a large swath of people in this camp and other people like him who have no clue that that's a dog whistle, that they think, oh yeah, make America great again is for everyone. But when was it great? Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. And I'm like, oh God. I mean, make it a big sigh. Come on.

When was it great for African Americans in this country? When was it great? Well, if you're applying for college now, I would say now. So in our history, now it's great. I didn't say great. It's never great for anybody, fully. Never great for anybody. Well, life is full of problems.

So great, you know, yes, if your life is great, you're very lucky. Most people would not say, my life is great. Would you say your life is great? Yes, I would. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I would.

Yeah, I mean, and a lot of it. But I'm glad I would. I mean, and a lot of it. I'm glad for you. And I've been privileged. Yes. Do you believe in white privilege? I like the word advantage better. Because advantage is broader.

Here's the reason why. When you say advantage, now, have I had advantages, especially growing up in, you know, being a, again, we were born the same year in 1956, you were born in that year. Yes, you were a young person in the 80s, probably in the 80s, you know, could, like I have been up for a job at a comedy club when I was working little comedy clubs, and there was a black comedian and they gave it to me instead because they thought I would do better being a white comedian or that they were just maybe had racism in them. Yes, I think that probably could have happened.

And that was wrong. Again, I didn't do it. I mean, we can't all be doing it. No, no, no, no. It's not recognizing that it exists. I don't think I should be even questioning that I'm someone who doesn't recognize that it exists. I have a pretty good record of speaking on the right side of civil rights issues. I just like to be real about where we are and where we are is not where we were.

And some people seem literally reluctant. It seems like they feel like the worst I think things are, the better person I am. That's what I get from a lot of the left. You the worst I think things are, the better person I am. That's what I get from a lot of the left. I think things are worse than you do, so that's what makes me good. I just want the reality. I just want the truth. What is the truth of this situation? Again, I'm not decrying that these changes are made. I'm applauding it. I'm applauding it. It's great that if you're a black kid applying to college, you don't have to face discrimination like they used to. And very often those colleges and businesses also in America are trying to make up for their

sorry past. I think we're not really far apart. I think it's to, I mean, yes. Are there factions that are on both extremes, of course, but to say you're a liberal person, as I would consider myself, I think common sense is the law of the land. It's what should be, I think, we are in a much better place

than we've ever been before, as far as civil rights, as far as acceptance. And just, you know, the people who are running the world now are millennials and Gen Zs. They're not, I think you're thinking of your generation and they are still in place in some places. They're certainly not all racist or in place, but yeah, they are. Like I said, I don't know if we'll ever get rid of it completely, like any human flaw, but the people who are running things, I just don't think that's their mindset is, let's be racist to people of color. They don't understand it, but they are innately that way.

Innately? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Lord. Oh, no. What have you been reading? Oh, babe. Yeah, come on.

Is that white fragility or some bullshit like that? That's not white fragility. Well, that's the book. Are you guys out where you're getting that book? No. No. But innately like original sin, like we're, we're toxicly white, born racists. Not toxicly, but you are, you recognize your experience.

And what we don't recognize often is the privilege that you said, the advantage you have. We look at, look at Congress. Look at, look at the makeup of Congress. You cannot deny that as older white men are the predominant factor in Congress. I don't have the stats in front of me, but there's plenty of people in color in Congress, and yes, we are moving from a place where it was all white. We get it. Yes.

But what direction is it going? And I'd like to see the numbers in Congress. Certainly in the Democratic Party, I bet you're there at least representative percentage-wise. I would say so. Okay. Yeah. Less so on the Republican Party, but I have to tell you, Republicans are doing better and better all the time with people of color.

I hope so, because the woke shit actually doesn't help any black people. See, to me, this is the liberalism and wokeism. Liberalism is about lifting people up. Woke is just about self-loathing and hating yourself and scolding everybody and virtue signaling. It doesn't actually help anybody. Lifting people up who have gotten a bad shake in this country, who are for some reason downtrodden or have been cheated. Absolutely, I've always been for that. But I don't think that's a lot of what's going on. And I think there are, I just look at the numbers

from the last election. I mean, Trump, would you think that he would get even one black or Hispanic vote? He got 20% of the male black vote. And he did better with Hispanics than he did the first time. Now, comes out, your rapist, then gets respectable numbers and not elections. And then four years go by and he does better.

Yeah. The people, especially immigrants, they don't like this unrelenting negativism about this country. They're like, you know what? I agree with that. You should see the fucking river I swam through to get here. And I get here and all you people do is shit on your own country. And tell me how horrible it is.

You know what? I came from horrible. You want to know horrible? I'll tell you fucking stories. So how can we bridge the chasm that has been created between this divisive world that we live in? Oh, good. I thought you were going to say you and me and I don't want to be a chasm between us. No, man. So you don't mind having a good Irish debate like that.

Oh, yeah. Good for you. Oh, my God. Come on, buddy. And like, oh, my God. Come on, buddy. And like two old white guys, we don't know. Should we do this? What's the handshake? I don't know. How was the 1956 handshake?

By the way, I just found out, two from 23 and me, that I'm 10% Ashkenazi. Two. Oh. Wow. Ashkenazi. Joe. Oh. Wow. So my grandmother converted to Catholicism like your mother. Like your mother did or did or did or whatever. I used to love my mother telling this story about she was, my parents got married in 1951. Now back then, that was more outrageous

than an interracial marriage is today. Yes. Okay. So neither family was very happy about it, but my mother agreed to take Catholic lessons. And she really had the greatest affection to the end of her life about this priest who did it, because she said he was cool. He understood that this

was a charade. So he didn't really, he wouldn't really share it. She could have gotten some asshole who gave her the hundred questions and made her do it. But he said, they just talked and you know. And when I asked my mother at the beginning of religious, they took her back to that church we used to go to. And I don't know why they let us film there, but they did. And I said, why did you go along with it? And she said, well, I just thought having some structure

was better than nothing. Like that's how they thought in those days. It was like, you just can't have no religion. I get it. Even if it's a bullshit religion, I don't believe in. Well, a lot of the teachings were meant just to keep children in line, right? That to scare children in line.

And adults, maybe in the children. And adults too. Yes, it starts with children. You'll be damned to hell if you don't do this. But so were nursery rhymes. All those Grims fairy tales. I mean, they were all designed to scare children into behaving. Right.

Yeah, they were gruesome, right? Oh, fuck. We're not that gory. He's putting, he's in the oven and cooking them. Right, fuck. Yeah, he says. But people were so much rougher, you know, back then. People are just pussy snow.

Well, you and I had an upbringing where you could, my mom and dad, they didn't know where I was. I come home, I hop on my bike, exactly. With my friends and I was off. There was no helicopter parent. No.

There was no, what do they call a bulldozer parenting, you know what that is? That's when they push out of the way any objects or pediments. It's even worse than helicopters. That's terrible. Yeah. I mean, there were people who've always done this. I mean, we should just call them spoiled kids, you know. But now it's gotten to be, you know, so I mean, that's the, who was the lady?

You probably worked with her at one point. She got her kids into college by... Oh, yes. Yes, I know he's got her. What's her name? Yeah. He was on some show. Yeah.

And you probably played Uncle Plunky one week. I did. He was a Uncle Plunky. But I'll tell you you know where we first met where Murder Shiro Really yeah, you were the old lady I was Angeloland's Barry and drag and No, they were Wow, you were being groomed yes, you they were, wow.

You were being groomed. Yes. They were grooming your ass, man. They were saying, okay, we're gonna make this guy the next star of this show. Oh, boy. And you were, I didn't even, I didn't not realize that. Yeah.

No, you did too. No, I didn't. Well, I put you in a position. Here's what I remember. Okay, here's what I remember. I did one episode with Roddy McDowell. I remember I was in a hotel room with him all day. You know, making each other.

Not in a suite, such a sweet guy. Yeah. Where I was just like a guest star. Where I was like one of the maybe people who killed somebody in this small town where everyone died every day. Okay. Then I guess I did well enough.

I came back like the next year and did a one hour episode where she wasn't in it. She just introduced it. That's right. And it was me and Faith Ford. Yep. And that's when I was in. What?

Where is in that one? Well, you know what? We've got to find it. Yeah. I remember reading this script. Perhaps not all the way through. Yes. Because I remember they were fitting me for a dress at the end and I remember reading this script, perhaps not all the way through, because I remember they were fitting me for a dress at the end and I'm like, wait, what?

Yeah, I got into a witch's outfit or something. Oh, maybe that was the other one. I don't know, no, no. One of them they had me in a dress, like a witch's outfit. And I think I would just feel pretty. Hey, I should read the whole script, Bruno, but the other one was a one hour at the call used to call an MOW.

Yes. Movie after the week. So, we were hoping it was, we saw it also as a pilot. Yeah. But it was me and her as like, I guess, you know, husband and wife detectives. Okay. So, the other actors who were just co-stars, guest stars for the week. Right. We were going, this Bill Marguer guy, he's being groomed, he's going, oh yeah, it was totally

that. And you know what, we were going, good luck, man. Yeah. You get a gig, you know, it's when you work to, you remember in those days, you're agent calls you and you're saying yes before yes before you hang up the phone. I'll do whatever you want. What does he want me to do? I'll sit in a hotel room with Roddy McDowell for it.

Oh no, I was thrilled to get that part at that point. Roddy fucking McDowell, man. I remember going to auditions for sitcoms I knew were horrible and I was once sitting in a room and do you know the comedian Charles Fleischer? Sure. He was kind of weird looking. Very funny guy, but like he was like a nut, you know, that was his thing and I remember I walk and he went, we were reading for this sitcom and he went, okay,

nuts over here, pricks over here. That's what it was. And did you get up and there? I was a guy for the prick part. He was out for the nut part, you know? Oh, who framed Roger Rabbit? Yes. That's his claim to fame. Oh, yeah.

And he was brilliant. Yeah, he was. Got Charles. Charles, look at that. Charles, good fucking actor, man. I should tell you the time that you're a writer, Charles Flaisher, and other, you know, like there was a time when I was doing a movie in Toronto that John Ritter was supposed to do.

He was supposed to do this movie and said he did a play and it went to Broadway. And I said, and he was still producing this movie I was doing. So I said, I was talking to him every day and I said, well, I'll come to New York. I'll see your play. No, no, no, you don't have to see it. You don't have to see the play. And I go, no, come on. What are you talking about?

Of course, I'm going to come see the play. He said, no, no, really. You don't have to see the play. And I said, well, get this. Stop talking that way. He said, well, give me a call to see the play. And I said, well, get this, stop talking that way. He said, well, give me a call when he come in. And we'll see. My wife and I fly in, it was during Malcolm in the middle.

We were doing up friends. And I said, we're going to go see John Ritter in his play, Dinner Party. It was a Neil Simon play. I vaguely remember that. Dinner Party. Dinner Party. Yeah. And an inevitable name for Simon play. I vaguely remember that. Dinner party. Dinner party.

Yeah. And an inevitable name for a play. It's got to happen at least once. So she says, oh no, we shouldn't go see that. I go, what? He goes, it got panned by everyone. No one like this play. And I said, well, I told him I'd come, so we have to go.

Let's walk down to Times Square. Let's see where it is. So we walk down to Times Square and we look down to, oh, there, there, let's go down and see the marquee. Let's see the one sheet and whatever. We didn't know what time it was. Anyway, we walk down. As soon as we approach the doors open,

it's the end of the play, oh my God. End of the play, people are throwing down their play bills going, this is a piece of shit. I, this is horrible, horrible play. And I said, oh, I reached down, I grabbed the play bill and I grabbed my wife's hand and I said, come on, she goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's not one to be able to fake anything through. And I proudly say she's never faked anything.

And so we knock on the on the stage door. He's here to see John Ritter, Brian Cranston, come on. Oh, come on up. He's surprised. So I come up. He goes, John, go, why, why didn't you call? I don't tell me for the call. Are you kidding the call? Why did I go? Yeah. Well, what did you think? What did I think? What did I think? Are you really? No worries. Seriously, actually, what? My God. My God. That's perfect. And talk about funny. Right.

He goes seriously. I go, are you kidding? Of course. Come here. Give me hug. I hugged him and and my wife goes over and talks to his daughter who was in his room. Income John Loveots and Oh my God, I'm just blanking on his name. Comic actor does a droll, droll, Stan Laurel.

No. We'll think of it. They come in, they're taking over. And he says, Brian liked it. And I went, how are you kidding liked it? This play and they're going, really? You're like, you're going to be, oh my god, are you kidding? Come on.

Let's have a drink to this day. So love it's to had scene to play. Love it's went into the play. And did he say anything to betray your lie? No, he was shocked. He was a little shell shocked to look at it. And oh my God, I can't think of his name. He's such a great meeting.

First you take money out of the collection plate. Then you lie your way. Is this a review of the game? Yeah. I'm just saying I'm getting a fuller picture. You're getting the fries. That's it. You know, it is. You get to know so many in English. And I see you kissing Angela Lansbury's ass in order to get a job. Well, look at, but look at how it came out. I mean, the, you know, the irony, as we fast forward in this movie of our lives, is that you are the award-winning,

famous critically lauded, universally loved, a-list actor, and here I am, lonely in my little club brand of all by myself smoking my blunts. No, we both went exactly where we should have gone. I was not an actor. An actor is the opposite of what I do. It could never work. A comedian. I believe that's hard work.

It was the opposite of what you do. Was they terrible in that? It just wasn't you. Yeah, it just wasn't you. That's what acting is. You're not you. You're't you. Yeah. It just wasn't you. That's what acting is. You're not you. You're not you.

I wasn't some guy you found a John Doe body. I remember that. I did not. I know to this day, I don't understand that script. It was so convoluted. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, pretty confusing.

Yeah. And like, no, I'm very fortunate that, um, I wasn't cast as the office creep on bringing up chunky because I could have done 10 years on a show and then have never been able to have the credibility to do what I really do. Yeah, bringing up chunky too, chunky three, chunky. Well, you know, I mean, it would have been a whole series. The residuals would have been fantastic. Amazing, but no, but I met you over 20 years ago on politically incorrect. Oh, that too. You remember that?

Fantastic. Yes. And groundbreaking. Well, and I'm not here to kiss your ass, but it was fucking great. If you watch it, it would have been great. It was great. It was great. Well, I hope you don't think it was better than. If you watch it, it would not be great. No, it was great. It was great.

Well, I hope you don't think it was better than the show I do now, because most of us who worked on both think it was a giant step up to go to HBO and do the show. I'll begin. You had more freedom. It's just more adult. It politically incorrect was, I always say,

a planned train wreck. It was four people who should never have been together in the same room. And we're, you know, and that's what we plan. That's fun, you know, it's like, hey, this is a democracy. Everybody gets to vote. Why can't Bob Dole and Carrot Top have a debate? You know, I mean, but it wasn't, you know, and that was so brilliant about it. Is that now in an ultra?

But for me, it was, it's not nearly the work I've done on real time. No, it just doesn't, it just, it's just different. But yeah, well, it's just, it's just, anyway. I remember you went shortly after politically correct ended, I remember being on one after, after politically correct ended. I remember being on one of the shows near the end. And I remember, if I, correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember you hinting like, I'm going somewhere else.

Oh, really? Yeah. On the air or no, no, no. Oh, son of a bitch. No, no, no, it was after. Yeah, I was, I'm going somewhere. A dramatic assigned. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to I'm going somewhere. I think I think he

used semaphores. Yeah. And I got I got the message. Well, I loved the last six months of politically incorrect, even though we were canceled, even though we were at one critic called his Dead Show Walking because we were still on for like nine months after 9-11 and it freed us to like do much closer to the show I'm doing now. It freed us to like we, because you know why the country was like in this somber mood. So it wasn't appropriate to have like dumbasses and sitcom twerks. So I did a much more adult show with like a panel of people who actually could speak instead of just Burble. It's been amazing to watch this.

Oh, it really is. I can't believe, you know, first of all, we're both so lucky that we're still working. Yeah. You know, this is a business that puts people out to pasture. You know, whereas, you know, I mean, you've never been busier, right? That's been really busy. Yeah, but you look just, I think we both look, no one is fooled that Chris Hammsworth,

but you look generically still like late middle age, but middle age, you don't look old. You know, it's not like you can play part. I look Hollywood middle age. Well, you look, you can play parts where like your looks are not distracting. We're not, you're not, no. Oh my God.

We're not confused that you're the guy who's gonna be, you know, getting the looks are not distracting. Right, that's true. Right, yeah. I look in the mirror and I don't get distracted. But I'm 167, that's not a bad. Yeah, that's right.

Okay, come on. Right, it's as good as you can do. Yeah. And you have all this acting experience and like popularity built up from your past roles. So you're like, you're in the killing field now. No, really. This is a good time.

And I feel like almost the same thing for me. Like a good time. Yeah, built up enough credibility. I've been around and you can still look at me. You're not, I'm not repulsed. You're not doing it. I don't recoil. Right.

Exactly. You're not doing it for the reason of looking at us. Hey, let me ask you this. What? Is there a bathroom around? I mean, it's like, do we do that on a show like this? Can you hold it for like five minutes and then I'll just let you go?

Oh, okay. I mean, unless you want to like, I really gotta go. Then come here. Should I go? Yeah. Okay, plugs. Yes, why not?

If you're watching this, you'd wanna know what I'm doing and these are very entertaining shows, these live shows, I mean, whoo, entertaining. February 17th and 18th, I am at the David Copperfield Theater. I know that's must be at the MGM because that's where I'm moving this year, the MGM Grand, very excited about that Las Vegas, February 17 and 18, and February 25,

the Hard Rock Live in Sacramento. I think it's outside of Sacramento, but I think that's the market. Anyway, if you're from Sacramento proper, what I'm saying is you don't have an excuse. It is drivable. It's California. You know, it's not gonna be a snowstorm about, yeah, oh, the rain I forgot. But still raining, you're off the hook. Okay. I good God. I feel that that really humanized you. It did. It called me dead. The choice you made in the scene to go to the bathroom. I feel like we don't see that in enough movies. And I'm liking, you know, these super spies, they do everything,

they run off buildings, they shoot a hundred people without getting shot, but they never have to go to the bathroom. They never have to pee. Really? They never have to pee? I feel like if you did a superhero movie, and I'm sure you wouldn't, that would be a good, to have a really vulnerable, like maybe a superhero, but actually a neurological problem.

And he has to. A superhero who wears the pens. He just, he just, it was always leaks. He's always, he's always at the urologist's office. But you would not do him. I'll be like that. Have you, have you been offered, are you, like, could you be like the villain and, uh, Dr. Shitfuck?

Yeah. I would consider. Really? Well, I would because they're they're gonna they're gonna hear that and they're gonna do it because you're exactly you're like I said killing field for you. You're exactly at the perfect time to play like a super bad villain and because of who you are built this up to, you'll get a bank load, a truck load of money. I will. Yes, absolutely. You won't be the star, that'll be Liam Hemsworth, but you'll be, you know, but they need you too. I would do it.

And it'll be the fun part of the picture. That's what I'll say. You'll steal it because you're always doing it. It's the fun part of the movie. Yes. And why would I say no to that? Because you wouldn't. Why aren't they offering it?

Because they need someone who's the bad guy to be of equal credibility, but on that different level. Yeah. You know, not even, he's not, okay, I'm not Liam Hemsworth. You've said that like four or five times now. Fuck you. But you're going to see me in my youth. I wasn't there.

I did on emergency road. And everybody was saying, that guy's going nowhere. Look, we're winning. Why don't you play on that? I don't remember. I don't fucking know. You know, it's these, I don't know.

I remember there was, I honestly don't remember the shit I used to do. I do remember an actor on that named David Huddleston. Yes, of course he was the sheriff. Yeah, and he did that shit for a long time. And yeah, I remember one day he was complaining, I think he played Santa Claus. Yeah, there was a Santa Claus.

He would be a good Santa Claus. And yes, and I did a mat lock where I was a Santa Claus. You did a mat lock? Of course. Oh my God. Don't ever. Didn't you? Don't know.

I was, how could that be? I was the same age. Mat lock was on, oh yeah, I guess in your 20s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

When mat lock was on, I was like, I feel like I was a million miles from doing anything real in show business. Yeah, no, I did that. I met my wife in a show called Airwolf. Do you remember that? The helicopter? With the guy Jan was not Jan Michael Vincent.

Yeah. Did not end well for him. He did not. You see how lucky we are, Brian Cranston. Yes. I mean, here we are. You know, we got our hair. We got our hair, some of it, not everyone that was ever there.

You know, our careers are peaking in our late 60s. Look at that. I mean, it could go, it could have gone a lot worse. White privilege on display. You know. Oh, you know, it could go, it could have gone a lot worse. White privilege on display. You know? Oh, speaking of that, you know what, what one I love the one you did with Kevin Hart. Oh, yeah.

That is... Thank you. Oh, wow. We're doing a sequel to that. And we haven't heard that. By the way, when he is encouraged by the right director to just be an actor. Yeah.

Fantastic. He is terrific. He does not need to just do what, you know, look, there's no shame in getting famous by being very popular doing a kind of selling jokes. Yeah, well, he's also a good comedian. Great, but I'm saying in movies, he had that one kind of thing he did,

where he was a little over the top, but it was funny and yeah, it's a comedy. Let's go, you know, let's live, okay? But when he is encouraged the right way, in a word, it's not appropriate. And he was, I was so- He was so horrific. It was called the upside.

Yeah, the upside. The upside. And I went to lunch with him. I wanted to find out if he was ready for this, if he was like, if he got this, I said to him, at lunch, I said, you know, this is really not a comedy. I mean, this is really a character piece. Are you ready for that? He goes, I know exactly what it is. And it's exactly what I need for my career. Right. And he was he was entirely correct. Right. And I said, and he just movie rests on your shoulders. You have to drive every scene. Sure.

And he did. Yeah, he did. He did. And well, I mean, that's a bit of over it was a fairly equal two-man show. It was two people who are locked together because I'm in the movie you're in a wheelchair. But he was such a whirling dervish. He carried the show. Yeah, I mean, so we're doing a sequel to it. Oh, wow. Yeah. You get up.

Okay. For those of you who haven't seen the upside, I play a quadruplegic and a chair and that's why this bastard said, do you get up? You know I got shit for that. What? I got a lot of shit for that. For what? Oh, this is going to set him off.

Oh. I am not a, um, oh, because you're not in a wheelchair. Yes. Well, we'll fix that. I am, I am an able-bodied actor playing a disabled actor. Sean Penn had a great line about that. He said, it's getting to the point where you can only play Hamlin if you're a prince from Denmark.

Yeah. I mean, it's called acting. It's almost the whole point that you are doing something that you are not, right? I can't even. I can't even. And again, you know, not to get back to woke goes too far, but you notice it when it enters your own life, don't you? Like that.

Yes. It was noticeable to me. I was pretty surprised that I got some blowback to it. And I thought there's a good point that disabled actors are not given an opportunity. It's a kind of a catch-22 that, you know, it's like, do you have the cachet to be able to carry a film? It has to make sense. If, you know, if you're playing Jim Thorpe, you've got to be able to run.

We lost all common sense. Yes, should there be the thought given to, hey, this part could be, and by the way, it's not like I've never seen anybody in a wheelchair in a movie, pretty much anyone who ever works a computer is in a wheelchair in every movie I've ever seen. Okay, so, but yes, are there other doctors and lawyers? And I think they could could and where it's appropriate

without like taking you out of the story, great. We would miss some great performances. But this one, Daniel DeLewis, my left foot, Al Pacino, Incentible Woman. Oh, there's a lot of, yes. It's not even worth considering. It's so silly. I think I'm just saying it's perspective.

You can only have the perspective of a 66 year old white male. That's all you can have. All of us can only have our own perspective. Exactly. Does it mean I'm not a sentient being who can't see. You can understand, but you cannot really know what it feels like to live in that skin. Nobody can except them. If you had said that again in the era we were born,

like somebody did a book on it in the 50s called Black Like Me where he put on blackface basically so he could see what it was like. In the 1950s to walk around, it would be, that's why that book resonated. It would be a shock. And in the 1960s, during the riots in Watts and in Detroit and Chicago and elsewhere, I remember asking my mother, why are these black people so angry? Why are they so angry?

I couldn't understand. Why are they throwing rocks in my mouth? Because they lived in the 1960s. But surveys now show that black people, especially young black people, are way more optimistic about their future in America than white. I hope so. White's are actually the only ethnicity that has a bias against themselves. Yes, the only group that, this comes from, you know, the far left, I think, they, they,

the only group who doesn't want to be with their own kind of people, every other ethnic group, at least is okay with them. Yeah. No, there is a weird kind of white self is okay with them. Yeah. No, there is a weird kind of white self-loathing. Yeah. That does go on in America. It's kind of a kink. It's kind of like wanting some dominatrix to dig a high heel into your neck to a certain

degree. That's not the spurt that kind of activity. That could be very engaging and exciting. You could put that on your judge show. My judge show. Why? Why? Why? Why?

You sounded a little bit like walking that. Oh, why? Do you do any impressions? I do impressions of impressions. So everybody does. Kevin Pollock, you know. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

Kevin Pollock. You do Kevin Pollock's. Yeah. I do Kevin Pollock's walking. You know. Right. I can do, I know exactly what you mean. I can do somebody's, somebody.

Oh, this is perfect. I can't remember. We can do some impressions. I can do somebody's, somebody. Oh, this is perfect. I can't remember. We can do some impressions. I can't remember who I can do. Who I can do. Who I can do. I can do somebody.

But yes, but that happens a lot with impressions. There was a guy, you probably remember this because we're the same age, Will Jordan. Yeah. Okay, he was the guy who first did Ed Sullivan. And then everybody else was kind of like, yes. Doing Ed, yeah. Doing, yeah. Everybody was doing Will Jordan's Ed Sullivan.

You know, mailmen were doing it. You know, it was not all, you just had to do it. Make sure. Yeah. Yes. That's right. Yes. Oh man.

See, that was something that made America of easy to place. What? Great again. Oh God. I can't even. No, I can't even. That's what made America.

I'll get your golden globe. Really? Just go up there and do what they want and do you, but engage in your kink. Make them feel guilty about just existing and their privilege because they're in a court. Well, I mean, an award show is pretty privilege-y. It is, isn't it? Isn't it? Your life is fine. Why makes yourself feel guilty about it? I don't feel guilty about it.

You didn't do it. You didn't do Jim Crow. I'm not guilty about it. I know. I'm just accepting that this is the world that we have lived in. Have lived in, yes. And are making great strides and still work to be done. True. And let's try to accurately place ourselves where we are. Yes. Is where I would say. I like that.

But I still think you should go to the... Wasn't it a show last night? It was not the Golden Globes last night? It was. Were you there? No. Not up for anything this year, though, on what you're doing? It is not surprising.

No. The Golden Globes themselves canceled because they were unwoke. They have completely, you know, Jared Carmichael who hosted the show. Okay. Young, black. I know who you are, yeah. He had the temerity and the balls that I was happy to hear that. That he said, the reason I'm hosting this show tonight is because I'm black.

And gay. And like, here it is. Yeah. And that, and that, and that is to get back to our thing about the actor versus the comedian. Yeah. That is why he's a good comedian. That is what comedy does.

It is like a divining rod. Yeah. That goes toward the thing that is true. It's the truth. That everybody is thinking or recognizes when they hear it, or phrases it better than they have, but it's the elephant in the room, and you're right. Good for him.

Beautiful about that. Yes, I mean, a lot of America is trying pretty hard in the last few years to make up for this already past. I mean, I ask you a question. In your work, did you ever pull up because it pulled up from the joke because you thought it was not going to be received well? No.

Not like, well, I mean, pull up from a joke. The only, I mean, I guess I could do that in the monologue, because that's just really a bullet point here or there. Right. I'm really saying it as, but I don't remember doing it there. The editorial I do at the end is, you know, I worked hard on that all week, getting every word exactly the way I wanted.

So I'm never going to pull up on that. You really hard. No, I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm pulling up is not it's not the way I create a bond with my audience. No, you know, I think most people will look at your show and go, oh my God, he's just winging it. He's just having a great time. That's what it should look like. That's exactly right. That's fantastic, if you think. Yeah, that's the skill, part of the skill. It's to, I think the Italian school at Spreads of Terror

like to make something difficult look easy. And hopefully, I mean, I'm old school with showbos, it's like, I'm there for them. Like I don't ask the audience, like if I have a problem, you know, hear about it, my mother died, you don't even hear about it. Some people do that, it's fine. On talk shows, I'm not knocking it, it's just not me.

Like I am there for you. So like if I don't feel good, that's my issue to work out before the show. And to make the show just fly by and glide by and yes, make serious things, still stay buoyant and funny at times and so that it's not, you know, attracted the dentist to find out what happened in the world then, you know. So, you know, a truck to the dentist to find out what happened in the world then, you know?

So, you know, I'm there for them, but I will do what it takes to get to that point. I've never seen your show, your Vegas show. Come with me to Vegas some weekend. I will. And how long is it? Like just guys, you do like a guy. Yeah.

Really? Oh, absolutely. Even if it was me, I'm 33 years old. I know, but I'm known as a bad influence. No. You're not good. You're influences. I'm just saying, be prepared to have your picture taken at the experiment rhino.

It's way up. It's Vegas. It's Vegas. It's great. Okay, so you love it. I love it. You would do that? Oh yeah. You'd go to the Spirament Rhino with me?

I totally would. Oh, this is so gonna happen. Let's do it. Let's do it now. I totally would go. Okay, I go would go. I go to Vegas. That's me.

The Lisa Marie is fueled up and ready to go. I'm telling. I've got the peanut butter and banana sandwiches on it. We are. How long is your show? When you do Vegas, your Vegas. Your Vegas is different than any other city. Okay, so you go to 70 minutes.

70 minutes. Why? Because like normally I would do 90 or maybe a little more, but in Vegas they always want to keep the show short because any minute you're in the show room, you're not in the casino. No, losing the house. Right, so.

Do you want a little more? No, I have strict limits. No, really, seriously. It's important. At our age, you know, you just cannot, I mean, it's one of the saddest things in my life is that I have to be very careful and circumspect about how I drink, not that it's gonna kill me over tonight,

but like, come on, we're just not playing with the house money anymore. I always say about health, and you look great, you look like you're in really good health, but you're no Liam Hemsworth. I thought one more time for the road. I thought one more time for the road. But, here's how I look back on my decades and how I handled myself. There's a saying in sports, whatever the defense will give you.

In other words, if they're playing against the run, you throw the pass. If they're playing against the pass, we took what the defense would give you. In other words, like if they're playing against the run, you throw the pass. If they're throwing against the pass, we took what the defense would give us. I feel like that's what I did with my body. When my body in my 20s and 30s would allow me to have 30 drinks a week, I did it. I smoked cigarettes. I mean, I just did stupid things,

but my body didn't revolt enough to make me stop. You know, I still could function. You know, when you're 30, you can fucking drink, have eight drinks at night, and you know, pass out or whatever, or fall asleep pretty easily. And you're working the next day. I couldn't, that is inconceivable at this point. I mean, I'm impressed with you like throwing these back. Because that would knock me on my ass. Not that I'd be so drunk, I would just be sick for like,

till tomorrow. Oh, no, well, purity, I don't smoke, but I do like the drink. But I sip. No, I don't. I think it's just you're, we probably have a very strong constitution. I do. Are you Irish? I am.

Some me too. Yeah. Irish and Jewish. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I have more Jew than me than you. I have more Jew than you is what you're saying.

But it's not a competition. Otherwise, we are not only are we gonna have a I'm more due than you is what you're saying. But it's not a competition. Otherwise, we are not only are we gonna excuse me. Not only are you and I gonna go to Vegas and the jetty part. I know, but I feel, I really want to see your show. You can. I want to see the show. No, I know.

You're coming with me on the plane. It's going to be good. You're going to be gone in a total of 30 hours. Okay. You can see the show twice. We'll go. I will do that. Friday late afternoon.

We'll have Friday night after the show. We'll have brunch, leisurely. I've done this before. Trust me. We'll have a leisurely brunch on Saturday, it'll be awesome. And then do whatever in the afternoon. Do the second show on Saturday night and get right back here.

You'll be in your bed Saturday night and midnight. Great. Your wife will hardly know your guns. You'll probably like it. Yeah. She'll say, well, is that new? Let's do it. No, I can't wait.

But beyond that, I do think we should do some sort of reboot of the Bing Crosby Bob Hope Road pictures. I think I'd be a good Bing, I mean, a good Bob Hope, and I think you could do Bing Crosby. I mean, you think you're Bob and I'm Bing. Oh, yeah. I'm the comedian. I'm the comedian. I'm the comedian.

Oh yeah, you know. Yeah. And I can play that, you know, cowardly. It was sort of like a smock, you know, that you Bob hoped for a guy who was so beloved, his character was a shister and his personal IP. He's just known to be a huge prick. A cow, a god.

Great and Carter tells a great story. I read it like in somewhere. Probably better than he fare his magazine. But he was at staying at Bob's house in Palm Springs. This is, I don't know, 25 years ago or something. And I guess he was doing a story on him or something. He was a well-known editor, but he became a much bigger. I think this is before the Vanity Fair Oscar party.

But he was still great in Carter, and maybe it was after Must have been, because he was sort of a celebrity himself. So, for whatever reason, he was staying in Bob's house in Palm Springs. And he goes and then we put him to bed, you know, whatever. And he says he's about to turn out the light. He said it was 11 o'clock at night and he hears this padding outside the door and then a little faint knock. He opens a door and it's Bob.

Bob says, hey, I want to tell you. Why are we going to town and pick up some girls? And then Grayton wrote, he was 80 at the time. Unbelievable. But I want to tell you, yeah. Yeah, I was going to town and pick up some girls. Yeah, I was going to town and pick up some girls. I mean, and of course, married,

but for Francis, ladies and gentlemen. Connie, for that. And that's what you guys are fighting for. Yeah. Oh, shit, it's what you guys are fighting for. Yeah. Oh, shit, it's eight o'clock. It's eight o'clock. All right, I'll let you go. Good time, bro.

I'm telling you, that was fun. You don't mind going from here to here and then back. I love that about somebody when they can bounce from we're very serious and then we're laughing Then I'm a serious and it right? It's rare. It's it's it's it's fun. How it should be I remember I admire the respect the shit out of you This is and I you really really do um you you you are you have over the decades been the voice of reason.

I hope so. I never miss your show. Oh, great. I never see it. How can I miss it? You don't watch your show? No, that's Milton Burles' outline. I never miss it.

I never see it, it's out. Can I miss it? See, I was serious. You were? Yeah. Yeah, well, that's why I wish you got See, I was serious. You were, yeah. Yeah, well that's why I wish you got pickups from girls. Yeah. 80.

Gotta love that. Gotta love it. Anyway, we're doing good. Thank you, Ben. Alright, let's have a good year. It's the beginning of a new year. New year, my birthday's in nine days. I'll get the 67 a little before you.

I know, but look at us. We could play in a... Perhaps not the on-genoo. But in a band. Of some sort. I'm not saying I could do Kate Hudson's part in almost famous, but I think..., I'm not saying I could do Kate Hudson's part and almost famous, but I think... But I try!