Club Random with Bill Maher - James Brolin | Club Random with Bill Maher
Episode Date: October 8, 2023James’ dream of being the Marlboro Man, the dangers of mercury, the book Healing Back Pain, James’ difficulty remembering lines, how politicians are late on every major issue, how Russia could use... some child proofing on their windows, Mr. Beast and the blowback from his charitable act, JFK Jr. assassination theory, did the other buildings collapse on 9-11, why James barely missed out on playing James Bond, and James’ mind-altering beach walk. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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today at publicmobile.ca. Different is calling. No motivation to kill JFK Jr. No, he was going to be president.
He was going to be president.
Oh, stop.
Right on time, I think you would be.
Oh, hey.
Oh wait, what do you got a man purse there?
What is that?
Oh, you know, yes, California.
No, when you're as much as a man as you are,
get away with having a purse.
That's all I'm going to say to you. I can get away with having a purse. First of all, I'm going to stand because you're as much a man as you are, get away with having a purse. That's all I'm gonna say to you.
Get away with having a purse.
First of all, I'm gonna stand because you're arriving.
Hey, man.
You're gonna stand because you're arriving.
Hey, man.
Thank you for inviting me.
Oh, please.
Are you kidding?
We should be a cool thing for an old guy.
This should be, you look fantastic.
You have to, I text, I emailed this on your birthday.
You're still the Mar-Brow, man.
You are.
Well, I stole $10 from my mother when I was about seven,
eight years old.
I heard that about you.
Really?
Anyway, I went down to the court that was,
we lived near the,
near the 405 in Sunset and there was one gas station
around there and went down there
and asked them to change the tin into quarters. So I got 40 quarters, about 40 packs of cigarettes.
Oh my god. And open them all. And so there was, what's that name? 800 cigarettes in one of those
big silver salad bowls for the kitchen. How much was a pack of sugar?
Quarter.
Come on.
No.
A pack?
Yeah, Coke was a nickel.
I'm, I'm, you know, up there, you know, you know.
You may have not invited me if you didn't own them.
Oh, no.
All this stuff.
I see you all the time.
I know, I know.
I know exactly who you are.
You just don't, you just don't read that in.
So it's surprising.
Because you were genetically blessed.
I often wonder, what would must be like to go through life,
tall and handsome like you?
I mean, it was...
You know what?
Must have been a bane and a boon.
Must have been a boon, baby.
My mother early on started seeing little things like,
oh, you're so cute.
That I avoided my mother's sweetest woman in history,
but I would avoid her because I had an aversion to that.
Now you're doing it.
Well, you know, I mean like.
But every mother says,
what is my car?
What?
Yeah.
But every mother, every mother says that about a kid.
Oh, okay, all right.
Yours, it infected me.
It just happened to me the case.
Oh, well.
And, you know, I mean.
Just gets a little old.
You must have had to.
And so consequently, I wanted to be the Marlboro man, and that was nice.
You are.
I mean, you must have had to beat him over the stick.
If there was a place that sold-
I was too shy.
That sold sticks to beat people off with.
Not only could I not give a book report
in high school without shaking and sitting down.
So that I had to fight.
But I was really shy with girls.
So I went steady with bunch of girls
for always a minimum of a year.
And even when I got married, I tried to get out of it, but that's not easy.
The marriage.
It's very first marriage.
Yeah.
I went to my parents after two weeks and said,
How do you get out of these things? In 16 years later, I left. In the meantime,
I was going, I'm not leaving these kids with this situation.
It is a weird thing I find. And of course, you're coming from someone who's never been married.
Yeah. It's just a weird thing to me that maybe I guess is why I never got married
that people just voluntarily enter into something
so ironclad.
And especially with the thing that
more than anything else in life is likely to change.
I mean, we use the phrase, I'm not married to it
for everything, you know, that table, I like it.
I'm not married to it for everything, you know, that table, I like it. I'm not married to it, except a human who is as likely or not going to change or, you
know, things just change between people.
It just seems an odd thing to me to lock yourself in, to break into prison.
I said you something about Mercury last night.
I know, I saw.
Okay, is that what I have to read?
Well, no, you don't have to.
I'll just tell you a little bit about it,
but you were talking to Jimmy Kimmel a year ago
and you guys really got on this Mercury thing.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and the conversation on this show.
I don't remember that, but I think you're
working. Okay, so I go, you know, this was meaningful to both of you guys to carry on for 10 minutes
about Mercury and... Well, you're adamant about poisoning of Mercury or adamant about cruelty to
animals. I know you know, a couple of things about it. Well, and I love Jimmy, but I have, I don't know,
Jimmy fits in my Mercury worldview, but
Mercury itself is something I'm always acutely aware of.
But you guys didn't have the marriage too, you know, so here we are with both of these
subjects again a year later.
But go ahead.
How is marriage like Mercury?
How is marriage like Mercury?
No, you just got, that was one solid conversation of you saying, you know,
here's why it shouldn't be working. And he said, well, you know, he's kind of going, I'm
not seeing that because my wife probably see this show. Right. You know, and then you got,
but you did talk about marriage for a while. So what's what and yeah, the virtues and the tougher side of it?
And then Mercury, which I had 21 fillings
before I was 21, all Mercury.
And I went to Hal Huggins,
and the guy that wrote this book,
Oh, who drilled out?
Huh?
Had them all drilled out in two days.
Me too.
I had my mercury.
You have to.
And he was the father of getting rid of mercury.
He was a dentist.
Okay.
That is a matter of fact, for some reason, the Swedish all came over here and started having
symposiums with him, and then it was against the law to have mercury put in your teeth
and sweetened right afterwards and he was kicked out of the the dental association.
And you know not to bring everything's how politics works.
Yes and apparently medicine which is politics out of it.
You know and we love our doctors and we love that we have available to us, a lot of things that
people in past generations didn't and we keep getting better, but not to get me on my
high horse about Western medicine and COVID and all that shit.
But I know you do, because I think we're similar on the same page.
I look at the bigger, broader picture, which is when they tell me to do something medically,
including whatever the prescriptions were for COVID,
can we just first pause and remember how wrong
you have been over the years,
including in the present, it's not like
people will look back in 50 years and go,
boy, in 2023,
they had it all figured out, medically.
They were just dotting the eyes and crossing the teeth.
Right, right.
No, you drilled mercury into my mouth.
Something we don't want even in trace amounts
in fish and stuff.
And you thought it was okay in my lifetime to do the,
so just don't sit there with the white coat.
Like, let's see the
sketch is coming around my neck. Obviously I have all the answers and you don't.
Don't question anything. In this book he stated that the average
dentist who has been installing mercury which is the biggest money making per
second per minute of work, thing he can do, at least it was then.
The average dentist that did that regularly
was beside himself work-wise.
By the time he was 56, he had to retire
for the shakes, for however else steadily.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's interesting.
That got me thinking about a lot of things about medicine,
because like doctors, they have to give you an answer.
Cops have to give you an answer.
Who else?
Cops do not have to give you an answer,
and they often don't.
You have to give them an answer.
I'm just saying.
And it'd better be the right answer.
Yeah, and it'd better end in sir.
Yeah.
But yes, well, doctors, you know, they
Take suggestions from patients in a way they never used to, you know
We are only one of two countries in the world the other is New Zealand that allows direct to consumer advertising of prescription drugs
You know, you should never really be saying to your doctor. Can I have this? I saw the commercial and this a lady in a wheat field and she looks like she's fucking high as a kite and
she just, I didn't even know what she's on, I don't know what the drug does, but I
know I want it. That does not exist almost anywhere else in the world and it
probably shouldn't exist here. You know, you shouldn't be telling your doctor
what you need. 20 or 25 years ago we found under my dad's counters 3,000 pills from three
different doctors because he had some early on back surgery and in a pretty sending, but
just, you know, that's all he did. He was a pillhead, you know. But-
Because of back? Just- And because doctors all he had to do his column and say give me a prescription, you know. Yeah, my father. I don't know
how that is to my father had a bad back, which I looking back and having read the
book by the great John Sarno who wrote a groundbreaking book called Healing
Back Pain. He was a major back surgeon. Did all the sports teams in New York, I think.
And he stopped doing it because he said, most back pain is,
I don't want to say it's psychosomatic because the pain is real.
But his theory is the unconscious mind can,
by cutting off oxygen to anywhere in the body
can cause you to be thinking all about that part of the body
because you really should be thinking
about your relationship with your mother or your kids
or whatever it is that you're avoiding.
And I think, I feel like my father was this guy
and I've known other people who are this person
who are obsessed with their are, they're obsessed
with their back. Everything has to be about the back and the back is always going out and
the back. And it's just the unconscious mind is cutting off oxygen, so it really hurts,
but there's no real physiological damage there. Now of course, back pain can be real and physical,
too.
Your old man was a host, right? And a writer and a newsman.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
to just go and be in front of people and...
No, he was not really in front of people.
Oh, okay.
But I mean, yes, being on this.
He stood there.
Well, he did radio news.
I mean, you're in a studio, you know.
In front of a camera, in front of a microphone.
Radio, in front of a microphone, yeah.
Well, that's...
Yeah, no, it's pressure.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, he would come home and need...
Me.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, he would come home and need three martinis to start
Because it was that and this is the days when radio news was live
What is we got you we got you the right drinks. Oh, yeah, yeah
No, he would come he would like coffee so that I'm a motor mouth of the way you know and never say anything. I'm a party. I don't know that about you. I don't know who you, this guy you're talking about all the time.
Well, it used to be anyway, maybe because life is going on, I got a lot to say yet.
Yeah, I've never known you to be quiet about anything.
I'll tell you, you invited me up to the Arlington Theater
in Santa Barbara.
I remember that little night.
And then we had dinner.
Yeah, and I sat in the audience and saw you
for an hour and a half.
You went over to your music stand twice.
This crappy music stand, I used to have in high school.
Yeah.
And turned a page.
You kind of glanced at it and went on for another half.
And I went, God, we would have loved to be able to do that kind of stuff.
Most comics, most comics do it without a music stand,
without their bullet points on it.
Yeah, but they do the same shit over and over.
Right.
And the one thing I can't stand in comedy,
the phrase that really is,
nails on a chalkboard to me is, what else? What else?
Like, a comic should never say what else. Like, I know what else, because I wrote it down
and put it on the music stand. So I can keep going, give them their money's worth.
But if you're thrown an idea, you can keep going, right?
Yeah, of course. And that's the other thing.
That's amazing.
It allows you to riff, because you always know
you can come back safely to land,
where there's stuff that we know works.
Because it's...
When I grew up, you know, as an actor,
when I first started as an actor,
that you know the script girl would stop and say,
you forgot the end and the button,
that's third sentence.
And I, you know, and it was such pressure.
Because I was, I never had a good memory
for dialogue anyway with thousands of pages I've done. So when I'm directing, I, I tell
an actor, well, just tell me the same, let me understand the same idea, just say it in
your own words.
Yeah. I mean, that everybody has, you can't do that. Oh, what do you, what do you, I
lend us it? Yeah. I think that's a lot.
Josh says Woody Allen will come over and correct you.
Yeah, there are some things,
well, if it's a word, it's gonna fuck the joke up.
Yes, true.
But I think a lot of directors in later years
have worked that way.
I definitely curb your enthusiasm.
Yeah.
Larry David is.
Yeah.
And I don't think there's even a, something written.
That was more of an old timey thing
that they were stuck in a room.
Oh.
And there are certain ones who today
who want every word exact, if I wrote a script
and directed, I'd want them to say those words, I think.
I don't think I'd want them to like put it in their own words.
The way I'm, I have five scripts
that I've directed three films that, like even the first one, I would
retype dialogue the night before.
I had to pre-memorize it.
Huh?
To memorize it.
No, I was directing.
Oh, I see.
Some of me I didn't care about.
Oh, you're rewriting it.
You're rewriting it.
I'd slip it to the actor.
Here's what we're saying today.
Right.
You'd go, yeah, great. This is so much better. You're rewriting it. Yeah, I slip it to the actor. Here's what we're saying today. Right.
You go, yeah, great.
This is so much better.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
So probably why I haven't been rehired a couple, you know, more.
I'll do that, you know.
And then, you know, if there's a line in there that works perfectly as is, just make sure
you get that line.
The rest, just tell me. Just tell me whatever you want to tell me.
And it works.
I just heard today that my lousy little, I think it was 2.6 million dollar little Christmas
movie.
I'll be home for Christmas with a little girl.
I heard it sold to Netflix worldwide and it's in the top 10 now.
Is that the one I saw where?
I think that was in a crisis.
I saw one where you were, it was like you were in like,
you go Slavier or something.
Yeah, a Romania.
Romania.
Yeah.
If somebody was like the king or the prince.
Yeah.
And there was a whole boy that inherited a kingdom.
And didn't want to be there.
Right.
Just wanted to punch there. Right. Just wanted to punch cows.
Right.
Right.
You inherited a kingdom in Romania.
Royal hearts.
Yes, Royal hearts.
Kind of cute.
Yeah, it's kind of cute.
When the script was given to me, it was really kind of corny and so.
Right.
Throwing a lot of good old John Wayne sayings and all kinds of stuff. And I've got five scripts of other people, right?
I can't write anything originally,
but I can fix a script that doesn't work.
And I've got five right now.
I'm just waiting for the money to show up.
Did you know John Wayne?
Did you miss him?
No, I ran in and once and went.
You never worked with him?
I used to.
Uh huh.
No, I never worked with him.
No, and I worked with him.
I see him every once in a while.
The Newport Beach had spent the summers in Newport Beach
and he had a waterfront house and a great boat.
We'd see him every once in a while.
But I was on the lot at Universal when I walked around a corner
and just went, I swear I was looking straight up at the guy.
I don't think he's taller than me, but he was just a giant to me, you know?
You know, he had to be restrained from rushing the stage.
Yeah.
And this is before.
Oh, no, that's off the wall.
You know what I'm gonna say?
At the Oscars.
Yeah.
And this is before Will Smith,
when rushing the stage was frowned upon.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, and this is before Will Smith when rushing this stage was frowned upon
Because when Brenda sent up the Indian so she needed a little further to accept his award and she went on started to go on about
How should he the Indians had been treated John Wayne had to be restrained from going up on the stage and punching her. Okay.
And they found it.
Didn't they find out years later, she's a fake.
Absolutely.
She was in Mexican.
Mexican, yeah.
Yeah.
The woke think that I'm still trying to,
I looked it up about five times.
I still can't figure out what woke means.
Oh, God.
We had this discussion in September of 2020.
It's in the paper every evening.
I know. I know. And I keep going, you know, it's not, Oh God, we had this discussion in September of 2020. It's in the paper every evening.
I know, I know.
And I keep going, you know, it's not a statement
that it's not a word that explains itself, I assume.
Well, we have to think about,
oh, well, how did they mean that?
Oh, and they said something and,
well, it has an actual,
well, I grew up, this stuff didn't exist.
No, it didn't.
I'm leaving just in time.
You're not going anywhere.
But, well, it started out with a very admirable meaning,
which was, well, as in, let's be alert to injustice.
Yeah.
Okay.
It morphed in the last five to 10 years
into every ridiculous, too far- left bullshit thing that will probably get President
Hellboy elected again.
What?
What a thought.
You should be.
It's highly possible.
You know, you know, I'm, you and Navalny are the two presidents that should be in office
right now.
You know, Navalny.
Yeah. Right. I have a T-shirt I. In the Brownie. Yeah.
Right on a t-shirt I made, President of the Brownie.
Yeah.
You elect 2024 or whatever.
I mean, isn't he poisoned?
Huh?
He's poisoned.
What do you mean, poisoned?
He's...
He's not poisoned them.
Yeah, they poisoned them, but he's in...no.
He's in a cell in...
Poisoned.
They poisoned them in prison.
He's not dead. He's not dead.
He's not dead.
But I mean, it's like, you know, because poison is slow.
You turn it in the heat off and he's living in, you know,
minus 30 degrees at night and doing everything they can to him.
No, it's just, it's just, top, who are the top 10 horrible people of all time?
Putin is unbelievable.
Right. I mean, it's either poisoning you or pushing you out of window. Oh my God.
We're killing as many and kidnapping as many kids as they. You know how many people have fallen out of
windows in Russia? Oh. It's like amazing. I've seen articles about it. Like, it's like 20 people.
Well, have mysteriously fallen out of windows
and Putin tries to play it off.
Like, we must do something about the dangerous
open window situation.
Yeah, in Russia.
Yeah, she's seen, but two guy, one guy,
and big fat guys on each arm,
to walking him to the window as he's struggling,
dropping him over the, oh my.
And that's exactly what happened.
It's like, who is the comic who held people, you know, since Easter?
Yeah.
What famously was a big, strong guy, and if he was unhappy with his writers, he would,
famously, I thought this was the story, like, would literally dangle them out a window.
I think they've got gripes now with this strike.
My favorite skit of his is they had a bunch of fake rocks
all over a stage with guys behind each rock,
with guns going, me, me, me.
Everybody shooting at each other was all, you know,
it was all, no, Dr. Phil style, you know.
You know, I feel a lot.
I watched showtime put together something called
10 From Your Show of Shows.
I mean, it's just like in the 80s,
but of course these were clips from the early 50s.
One of the, since these are your show of shows
is like one of the first television shows, right?
Yeah, that red skeleton.
Right, yeah.
So, I mean, I remember watching these things
and of course again, this is the 80s,
I'm a young whippersnapper,
but I just thought they were horrible.
And the audience is dying laughing.
Yeah.
And I just thought, boy, A, tastes change, especially in comedy.
It just doesn't translate over the years.
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I've seen so many great films. I said if you just chop 20 minutes out of it and
make it move a little faster in a couple of people
talking scenes, they're not about anything.
They don't move this dark.
They're just people talking.
But you're saying that's they food.
I'm saying Oppenheimer needs an hour out of it.
Whenever I see something that's three hours, I'm like, these Eagle maniacs, they do not know
how to kill their own children.
Which is the secret of art is to be an editor.
You have to be ruthless.
You can't fall in love with every fucking frame you shot, every broken joke you wrote.
You just have to do it. And they don't. So often they don't.
I think the last John Wick movie, John Wick, is like two hours and 45 minutes.
That's ridiculous.
It is, it is.
And it was, it had some really good elements
for that kind of film, you know.
He's, he's good.
So you see all these movies?
Am I sniffing a lot because I just had my,
I just had my sign, it says, you know,
deviated septum, I got out of surgery.
Well, no one, I'll tell you this, I haven't noticed it,
but nobody thinks we're doing coke.
Oh good.
Because we both have a heart attack.
Because that's right, we're too old to do that.
Did you have a cocaine, too expensive?
I had a brief cocaine.
No, drugs, never, you know, I'd smoke grass
with everybody at a party.
The last time I literally passed out, the last guy said,
this is this great Vietnam stuff, you know.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know anything about it, but I know there's all kinds of species now and everything.
So anyway, we're at dinner and he goes, he says, come on out, you know, come on.
So I go, okay, she'll come on.
So I go, okay, it's been years.
And I go in and I'm sitting there and I'm looking across the table at our guests and I'm
going, I see their mouths moving, but I have no idea what anybody's saying.
I better concentrate more and I got worse and worse.
I turned to my wife and I said, honey, I'm going to go upstairs and lie down for some reason
she says they want.
She said, okay, okay, I stood up and literally somebody pulled the switch off.
My legs, I dropped to the floor.
With drug was this era?
Pot?
Really?
That just from pot.
Yeah, if you know.
So I'm a cheap date, I told you.
I told you.
I told you. I told you. I told you. how much you did I told you I'm good. You know you got me the low cost to key learn.
No, I mean if people you got our bugs drive through
You got it all.
I'm just no I know.
No, no, we got I got your list.
I told them I said you better fucking get this list right.
Because this is all man the old jail to pay. The L.A.P, right?
Well, you're a major motherfucker.
I'm not gonna fuck up the drink requests.
You don't mind if I do the driver's thing.
Ah!
I've been coming at me.
No, keep talking.
Okay.
Yes.
I watched a couple of the shows.
They told me that there's 71 of them out there plus or I
Guess I mean, we have we've been doing it for a while. I saw
Peterson
Yes, yeah, all dressed up and I thought oh jeez
I better go shower and get some couple of suits out figure of which one I'm gonna wear
I mean and then I ended up with a t-shirt like you,
you last time I saw you, you had a white t-shirt
with strawberry stains on it.
No, not quite that bad.
I mean, we like it to be more than you this time.
I love you laugh at everything.
Oh.
Why are you so sober today?
You really want to know? Yeah. I
haven't slept. Come on. That's a bad deal. There's a reason for it. At a bad
ankle, I cut it like spraying my ankle. Mine's left. Mine's right. Oh, well, so we're even. Okay, so get across the art together.
It's about a month ago.
Yeah.
So, this one doctor who I know, he right away said, oh, you just take this, I forget the name
of it, didn't tell me it was a steroid, kept me up to late in the morning.
So, I was supposed to take it for five days.
This is a month ago. Recently. Yeah, this is a month ago. Okay. So I was supposed to take it for five days. I'm recently.
Recently.
Yeah, this is a month ago.
Okay.
So yesterday, I'm now saying this other doctor, and I had told him this a month ago when I
went to see him for the first time, I said, yeah, I took one, something I didn't know
as a steroid and it kept me up to late in the morning.
Then he shot me yesterday with cortisone, Did not tell me it was a steroid.
And I have not ate in the morning. I blew right past it. I have not been to sleep Monday night.
Now Tuesday. Do you have your um, melatonin gummy bears?
I don't think that's going to deliver. I don't think that's doing the trick. But I mean like, I am in a,
yeah, I'm in a bad way. But I think think I you know you need a full glass of tequila. I'm drinking it. Oh
But I'm not no soda just full glass
No, I know I know I know my limit. I can have two all right
Otherwise I
Can't good that stuff. I can't. That's good, that stuff.
I can't be.
Mexican magic.
What?
What is it?
What is that?
Tic-é-lin soda, actually.
Yeah, that's right.
If you don't drink, Tic-é-lin soda.
If you don't add lemon, it tastes just like you're drinking straight to C.
You're such a meticulous guy.
Like you know exactly what you want.
Like when you watch, when you critique my outfits
on the show.
Yeah, oh.
It's like always like, man, you know your shit with fashion.
Like if I am, if I am not on point
with every detail of my suit and tie, pants and shirt
and the tie better not go below the belt and.
That's you now, right?
If you're not on point in your opinion, I hear from you.
Yeah, but you're not doing it for me now.
You know, you look and you go, yeah, yeah, of course, but like you look smart lately.
And even the shirt, I look where though the white of the collar is tucked under the suit
if it's, if you can see the end of it. No, I know. I, the size of the collar is tucked under the suit. If you can see the end of it.
No, I know.
The size of the knot.
No, you, I'm telling you, all that stuff,
you're so much gager than me.
I could have designed women's clothes on the snow.
Well, that's because I think women are so much better
shaped than for our eyes.
Yeah, I do.
I mean, I do.
I mean, I just love and to dress women for a living would have been
You know, amazing design clothes and be a one of those eateth head
Yeah, but I did I just a guy I wasn't there's no real she the big customer
Yeah, yeah, but there's no real men that design women's clothes.
They're all, you know, look.
It always sounded like a poor name to me.
Eateth's head.
Yeah.
Not funny.
She was such a, she was like straight out of London.
Did you know?
I don't know if she was English, but she acted, you know.
You ever were lady head with her?
She did, game of a lumbard when I played Clark Gable.
You did play Clark Gable.
Yeah.
And then Reagan.
And Reagan.
Yeah.
I can do a Clark Gable.
I never played Jimmy Stewart though.
But you could have.
Oh, okay.
I can do a Clark Gable impression.
Okay.
Would you like me to do the scene?
I've been doing it a hundred times here,
but I love it because I feel like Okay, would you like me to do the scene? I've been doing it a hundred times here,
but I love it because I feel like there's something
to this scene in Gone with the Wind
that was so ahead of its time because it's an anti-war movie
a little bit Gone with the Wind.
And Clark Gable has a scene at the fairly,
the beginning of the movie,
where he's at the the I guess it's
Ashley Wilkes's plantation and they're all like their southerners are all
happed up on going to war right they can't wait to kick the Yankees ass I don't
know what that is but I don't have it they and Ben Red Butler is just different
you know and they're like Mr. Butler you've been up north, what do you think?
I think it's very hard to win a war
with just words, gentlemen.
Why, Mr. Butler, what are you saying?
I'm saying there's not a cannon factory in the whole South.
What difference does that make to a gentleman?
I'm afraid it's going to make a great deal
of difference to a great many gentlemen.
Mr. Butler, are you hinting that the Yankees can lick us?
No, I'm not hinting.
I'm saying very plainly the Yankees are better equipped than we are.
They've got cannon factories and shipyards and coal mines and a fleet to bundle up our
harbor and starve us to death.
All the south has is slaves and cotton and arrogance.
Is this the actual dialogue word for word for word for word?
Just watch that again.
Oh, man, I would have said, say it your own words.
Exactly.
Could you improve on those words?
No, I don't think so.
No, no, the guy's right.
Kind of sounded like a man.
Well, yeah, that's good.
You played him.
What? You played him.
I played him and you know, when Cindy Fury came to me,
they weren't looking at Stephen Queen and Alan McRodd
for a game of the Long Buck at Universal.
You know, this is one of their bigger.
I knew played Long Barn, I forget.
Judy Davis?
No, no, no, no.
Oh, that was Reagan.
That was, she played, um, Judy Davis, yeah, yeah, on Reagan.
Um, Joe Claibor.
Sorry.
I knew, I knew that.
Joe Claibor, can.
Yeah.
Um, how awful, but I did, it's not right there, but that's just,
Oh, please.
Oh, it does that.
What year was the movie made?
Mmm, 1975. Okay. I think you're gonna be forgiven for
it. Okay, all right. Second plus. Oh, thank you, Baccaro. That movie's 48 years old. Oh,
my God. Can you believe it? Embarber has a funny girl, I guess it is.
50 years old and she's colorizing it. Oh really?
Adding the scenes back in because it didn't make sense.
That movie in the end, it didn't make sense.
Why they split and she's putting it all back together
for the 50th anniversary.
Wow.
So that was 73?
Well, because I know.
Count back.
What was the funny girl?
We're talking about the funny girl?
Yeah, we're talking about that.
Okay, that's one with Walter Mathau.
Yeah.
No, that's Hello Dolly.
Yeah.
Because she famously said-
I'm just going to say yeah.
Because she famously said to him just gonna say yeah, because she famously said to him
When they had a fight have you noticed the movie's not called hello Walter, which is one of the old-time great lives
But I think I'll go on with him. I think well. No, he I don't think anybody did
Uh-huh Walter Martha I think was kind of like the Bill Murray of his day. I was on a contract the audience loved him and no one known to work with them
I was on a contract with him. I was on several sets with him. And I thought, why is this guy here? And then, a couple of years later, I got invited to the Beverly Hills tennis club with my agent
to a lunch with Walter Mathau at the table.
I never laughed so much in my life.
Really?
And I thought this guy was like one of the boring, over-hikes guys in the history.
I never laughed so much. So, you know, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like one of the boring, over Hikes, Guys in the history.
I never laughed so much.
So, you know.
So in real life, what do you know?
What do you know?
But you're saying in real life he was very funny.
Oh, that day he was.
Yeah.
And maybe it was the fried chicken.
Now, who knows?
And he wasn't emerging there.
That was what made him funny.
Uh, he, the jokes were just off the wall.
The punchlines were not expected, you know.
Well, there's a lot of comedy which is great.
You can hear it over and over and you go, that's it.
But this was all fresh to me.
But you know, I'm, what am I?
It's amazing how big.
It's 25, you know, 27.
But it's amazing how big a star he was,
with a face like two miles of bad road.
You know, he just wasn't...
I'm barb, my wife said.
He was rude to the women.
Not, you know, not, not, not.
Everything was like, oh, I heard the word from Peterson,
what you're talking about,
but Mark of L.A.N. and I thought,
oh, well, if I get on the show, am I,
am I doing Bill's show so that I can get ahead in life?
No, this is not going to be,
if you are, you're a shitty Mark of L.A.N.
So I looked it up, you know,
and, but okay, but, woke, you're a shitty machia valiant. So I looked it up, you know.
But okay, but woke, you have to like, buddy up to this word in number because it comes up too much. So it started a shit word. Well, it became... Hello, it became bullshit.
It became an eye roll for a very good reason. Yeah. Because it refers to everything where they embrace
good reason. Because it refers to everything where they embrace nonsense. You know, obvious example is obviously men can have babies, stuff like that.
That's just these people who they seem to want to, the social justice warriors, they always
seem to want to like find a new group to champion and they do it so ass backwards.
You know, the homeless.
Let's keep them on the street.
No, that's the opposite of compassion.
Let's get them off the street.
Importantly now you can be fined.
You're fine if you just ask them to move.
And homeless people on the street is not good for the people or the homeless.
So it's that kind of stuff that makes you roll your eyes and goes, you people are fucking nuts. Yeah. Or I totally agree. I may have told this story. But I remember
the five cent coke again. Right. Didn't used to be this way, you know. I think I told
this, but I'm going to tell it again because it blows my mind. Mr. Beast, he's a YouTube
star. You don't have to know who he is.
He makes these videos that get millions of views
and then he uses the money to do things like he,
and he likes to put in the title
because it gets crazy viral.
Like, helped a thousand people overcome disability.
And he did.
I forget what the disability was.
And then he got attacked.
And like papers that we could,
or websites and papers that we could consider
like normal and like respected,
said things like, what needs curing
is society's view of the disabled.
And Mr. Beast thinks that disability
is something that needs to be solved. It is something that needs to be solved.
It is something that needs to be solved.
So this is what woke me insane.
It would be a tragedy if we were losing one person to drug overdose every day.
Even five, seven, or twelve people.
It would be unimaginable if fifteen families a day received news of a lost
loved one to overdose. But in Canada, we lose 20 people to overdose every single day.
That's a crisis. At CAMH, we won't back down until there's no one left behind.
Donate at CAMH.ca to help us treat addiction and build hope.
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I'm heading back to Vegas to just stand up from my last live dates of the year over
their Friday November 3rd and Saturday November 4th.
I will be at the David Copperfield Theatre at the MGM Grand in Vegas, my new home.
I'm never going gonna swallow this pill.
All this new stuff, I just, I'm not ready for it.
And you don't have to be ready for it.
You just, but, I mean, it's just too prevalent in society.
And I know your newshounds, I know both of you are,
yeah, you know, you're always, you're sending me things often. It's like, oh, I don't know about that.
Do you actually read what I send you? Because I'll see you.
Of course.
More stuff. I only wait till it's pertinent than I think. He may have missed this or it is.
We'll both laugh about this when we see each other or whatever, you know.
No, you're a skeptical thinker. You know, you just don't take what they've
sent down the pike without you. But I'm also so resilient in forgiving that, you know, for the last billion years, a lot of the shit
didn't exist, or it did between tribes and cave people hitting each other over the
head or way. Everybody has their differences, but it comes and goes. It's like, I went
to a friend's house once and he had put in a trout pond with a waterfall. And I noticed that all the trout
stayed under the waterfall,
waiting for the next piece of food
to fall down in the water.
But they didn't go chasing after it downstream.
I see everybody chasing after everything downstream nowadays
bring back something and to make stuff right.
Well, you know what they did to me.
So we're in a very, we're in a very, very bad, my favorite book is
Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.
It's an old book, but it says every morning you wake up and you light
yourself for one hour that this is the greatest day.
And you're that terrific person and everything is good.
And your mind will lie to you the rest of the day.
And man does it work.
Really?
You do that?
Psycho-siberty.
I read this book every year to repeat my first hour of the day.
That's what you do.
You think this is the greatest?
No.
I'm generally, it's not hard for me to do that.
Really?
Yeah.
You're, you're, You're gonna face somebody.
But your default setting is pretty happy, right?
Yeah, it is.
Because I had a mother that was, you know, everything was,
I'd say, mom, I got my finals.
She says, honey, you won't even remember
what school you went to one day.
Right. And that's a philosophy that's terrific, you won't even remember what school you went to one day. Right.
And that's a philosophy that's terrific, you know?
I heard like Barry, I was reminded that I went to my dad said, listen, you go to school
and I'll give you a lunch money and a gas money and everything.
Well, several months later he handed me a bill.
Oh, what?
He says, yeah, this is how much you owe me so far.
And I went, I will never borrow money from any person, a bank yes, never from any person
in my life again.
And I'm going to bust my ass and earn all my own money.
And yeah, it does happen.
We're bifurcated.
I love that, you know.
Every woman bifurcated is when you marry somebody
and you separate your money.
So you're not into each other's money at all.
I need to even know you could do that.
Two women just just just drained me before.
And that wasn't even with money.
That's true. I mean, it's the emotional drain that you have
been on. Yeah, I got through it somehow. Yeah. And it all came out in the wash. Yeah. Sometimes
the third time the charm, right? Yeah. And actually, I got married the first time when a girl friend
left me, like, total surprise. And I married somebody 12 days late after I met
him. Just to know this, what kind of psychosybridendics I hadn't read yet.
But even if the marriage didn't work, you didn't do it, then you wouldn't have spawned
your big movie son. I have got the most delicious children.
And now grandchildren, life is good.
I've been married 25 years to my wife.
I know.
Wow.
And so good to her.
And she's been so good.
Is she done with that book?
She is.
It's going to be out in November.
Did I hear the eighth today?
Right.
I mean, I can't believe that.
I mean, it's gonna sell.
It's, I mean, it's Barbara Streisand's fucking
new autobiography.
It's gonna sell.
You know, why, you need the money?
No, she didn't need the money,
but I'm sure she wants to sell the book.
She does.
She loves it.
And it will be number one, of course.
Of course it will.
And it doesn't matter.
I'm saying, if she needs a place to come,
sell the book. We're open for business. place to come. That's all the book.
We're open for business.
At all times.
There's no strike there.
You say, good luck honey.
Say hi to Bill for me.
And I said, you're next.
Well, I cannot wait to read it.
Have you read it in advance?
And she started and was going to,
you know, kind of flush it out of her.
She's been 10 years and every moment of it is not only full
of the truth. She can't lie. I mean, I'll say, tell them, tell them, I'm not feeling well
and we can't make it to the next. She says, that's not true. She won't help me out at all.
She has to tell the truth. And it'm very wonderfully refreshing. I'm very similar.
Oh yeah.
And it's, well, I think, you know,
well, that's why you should be president.
Yeah, that's how you will never be president.
Are you kidding?
Politician is someone who has to learn how to not tell the truth.
And you know, you can do it in an elegant way,
and you can do it in an artful way,
like Trump does.
But you know, all presidents, all politicians, Lincoln did it, Obama did it.
They all have to do some shady things to get progress made.
Because it's what they say about Congress.
It's like, you know, the sausage factor.
You know, let's see how it's made.
But progress doesn't happen because you're spray painting a wall. It happened.
Can he would have never made his fortune if he hadn't started a war and kept it going?
Yeah, that's probably true. I mean, it was true.
We'll never, yeah. When you never know what's in a guy's mind, he could have also, I mean,
the Bush people, you know, do I think that they actually thought that they were going to transform the
Middle East by taking over Iraq, I do.
Because they don't do their homework, you know, they just, I feel like.
Samuel Bush was the great grandfather.
He was in charge of all the arms for the United States.
Prescott Bush was his son, who was the larger,
he had around 17 banks, and he was the largest finance
here of the Nazi party in World War II.
Really?
Yeah, good, they paid good interest.
See, that's the kind of thing you always know.
And 9-11 and a wide, JFK junior die,
I get into all this stuff. Well, JFK Jr. die?
I get into all this stuff.
Well, I, JFK Jr.
Wait a second.
I know why JFK Jr. died.
Tell me there was no bomb in the back of the plane.
You think there was a bomb in the back of the plane?
Possibility, that's all.
I don't know anything.
That's, well,
I've just read everything and now,
and what I saw was why would
anyone want to kill J. F. A. John interview tape where J. F. K. Jr. was on final talking to
the tower. You're clear for landing. That tape disappeared. I heard it. I do. I jump up. If we do our research, why were they sent 90 miles away to do the
first searching for the plane and it went straight down into the water? I mean, this sounds
to me. Why did it take so long to find it all? There's a lot of smelly stuff. You know,
I think anything you look at, you can find these...
Why did building seven go down?
Well, I was just going to say, this reminds me of 9-11 Truth or stuff, which even the truthers
have walked, most of them have walked away from that.
Not a truth, or I'm a researcher.
Okay.
But can I tell you about JFK? 300 of the best building designers,
all say impossible.
No, that's not true.
Not 300.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, 300, 300 building engineers,
because a plane in 1947 had hit the Empire State Building,
they made sure that those were able to take the impact
to an aircraft.
So what, it was a demolition?
And if you look at the videos, you can see pop, pop, pop.
They've, they've, they've just went flat.
You would see that also, I think, if the building was paying.
Maybe we shouldn't be in this conversation.
No, I mean, I just, look, I've never talked about it.
A friend of mine was a truth there at one point.
I'm not a truth, I'm a researcher.
Okay, well let's use the term truth there.
It also was a word that specifically describes someone who believes exactly what you were
saying you believe about the collapsing of the World Trade Center.
Okay?
Well, the only thing you can say you're absolutely right is building number seven.
No. You can see the video when it's straight down. It was two blocks away. No plane hit it.
Oh, I understand. Oh, I mean, I've vetted all this. I mean, I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- Ietted all this. I mean, I- Smells here. I looked at all this. You can watch the video of all these events
with the Truth or Version.
And yes, you're going, oh my God,
that looks fishy and blah, blah, blah.
And then you can watch another video
where other esteemed engineers and the same kind of people
you're talking about have the exact opposite point of view.
And they would agree with, I think,
what I still believe, which is that the idea
that Bush planned this is ridiculous
because it would involve planning.
But JFK Jr.
You know, the buildings were going broke,
by the way, financially.
I mean, how is that possible?
I don't know.
Well, how is possible that buildings go broke?
Well, that was pretty full, I guess,
but the word was that they were,
I had financial difficulty, not only with the building owner
who got insurance money, great,
but the city was involved, they were throwing,
and the feds were throwing a lot of money
into that building, all those three buildings.
I mean, I don't, you know, all these things
could be possible, it could be,
and this is why I'm with you, man.
Well, in a way, something smells like a rat.
That's all I know.
It could.
I don't, to me it doesn't, because I watch both those videos
and the second one I found work in mencing.
But JFK, and what, what tells us a little, for me is that
JFK Jr.
no motivation to kill JFK Jr. Also he was going to be present. He was going to be
president. Yes he was. If he was, it was years away. He wasn't even in politics. That's right.
Oh, you mean this is a like a Moses story where they have to have strangled the baby in the crib?
You and I, our friendship just dissolved. Okay. He flew a prop plane with a broken leg on a moonless night.
It's not a conspiracy.
It's idiocy.
He had the hubris to think that, oh, let's get up there to where they were going.
Martha's vineyard, I guess.
Okay, let's get up there tonight.
John, it's a moonless night.
Maybe we should just wait till tomorrow.
Now, I'm a good pilot. Don't worry about my broken leg. It's not like our family has
a history of tragedies. Let me tell you something. You're good.
On your point of view, where you're absolutely right, he had broken his leg. It had been
in the cast and he just got the cast off. How do you fly a plane when you've just got the cast off?
And badly and into the ocean, which is my point.
Okay.
All right.
I mean, the idea that they were,
who is it that was anxious to kill JFK in the crib
before he was even in politics?
Was it the trilateral commission?
Who is behind it?
I'd love to know that.
I don't know.
You had a political magazine that was very popular.
It was okay.
It did not do that great.
I remember I was in it.
All right.
George.
Well, maybe that's why it wasn't that popular.
But I mean,
Oh, God, I just love it when you laugh now.
Well, I just give you a little slack. Will you?
I'm always laughing with you.
Stop me.
You're so hard.
What are you so insecure about laughing?
Oh, no, I just,
any laugh, any laugh the good little guy gets, it's gravy.
First of all, you are so knowledgeable,
you are so good at this stuff.
And yet, you give everybody a lot of room for their opinion.
Yes.
And you laugh at this and that.
Absolutely.
That's why you should be president.
Oh, here's another woke thing for you, Mr. Actor, man.
OK.
Maybe a sense of humor.
Because humor might hurt someone's feelings.
And feelings are the most important thing.
They're more important than free speech.
They're more important than anything,
is that nobody ever feel a moment of discomfort or pain.
Right.
And what they do is they operate in bad faith.
There's, I don't know if you've seen this story,
but there's a country star named Jason Aldin.
Don't know him.
Okay, he put out a record called,
try that in a small town.
And I just, I was, again, one of those things,
the polarization of this country,
I read the things that the righty said about,
I read that thing that's the lefty said about it,
to the left, this was like, he's this horrible racist
because he's a country guy.
And he shot the video at a courthouse steps
where someone was lynched
100 years earlier, so it was about lynchings.
And basically he's a redneck guy.
And I'm getting this now from Coleman Hughes,
who's black, brilliant writer, if you're not up on him.
Young, black, and brilliant.
And I believe Coleman Hughes, he said,
this is a smear thing that they do.
Because, and again, Jason Alde,
I don't know who the fuck this is.
I probably would never be interested in his music,
but he didn't pick that location.
They know this.
This is what I mean by bad faith.
It's like, yeah, I know that,
but I also can get him on this.
If I put it in the article,
that the thing was shot at a... And of course,
it turns out other movies have been shot there. Like Hannah Montana was shot there. Is she
erased? Is she promoting lynching? And of course, it's a point of view that it's not my world
being a small town person who's saying, oh, if you try to take my guns, try that in a small town.
Okay, but, you know, we have to get past this thing,
where you're just evil if you're not like me.
Have the country is not like you.
Right.
They're just not, and they're not gonna change,
and they're not gonna self-deport,
and you're not gonna bully them into being you.
You just have to have a level of acceptance.
It seems to me that a lot of people have gotten
real dumb real quick, the last 10 years.
Oh, you know, before you visit the South,
and you go, and it is what it is.
And I love tradition.
I love little towns, and I love people
that speak a little different colloquialism
than other people.
Barnes.
But lighthouse is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tumors and paint paintings.
What's happened to this?
There's strip malls in every one of those little towns.
There's opinions that are not fair.
They're not fair.
It's really, really changed.
And there's more hatred available around.
Exactly.
Everything goes from zero to I will kill you in 10 seconds.
And the minute I meet somebody, I always feel like,
yeah, I like you, I like you. Now show me why I don't, you know,
and they do. Yeah, you know. They're used to. I always cut them a lot of slack.
I mean, if I move to the country, when in the middle of Marcus Welby, first I legitimized
the motorcycle, they were all hell's angels, and then it was you meet a lot of people on a Honda by give me a lot of people that you're really like.
And Dr. Kylie rode the motorcycle and then we're three years into that show of six or seven
years.
And I sell everything and I move to pass the Robots halfway to San Francisco to cowboy
country, you know, start raising horses and cattle, and I had trained horses for 13 years.
To do what?
What do you mean?
To just show them just to...
Oh really?
To write...
I'd breed them and have the babies and break them to ride.
Yeah, that's the part that I'm a Peter Bord member.
So when I hear break them, it's like you lose me me like courses. I don't think animals want to be broken. I mean, you know
I think they're well they say a horse and a dog is the only thing that will give up their life for food
So I really I don't know I would think every I think I think it's good
I feel ashamed I would think every every animal in the world
Risks it's like every day for food. I think that's me. I had 75 had a cattle
What are they for you cut them up and eat them? Yeah, you know that would happen
So what why does anybody have cattle?
Or is this least people you know how long do you have the cattle before you killed them?
I do.
I never got that.
You never finally got out of there.
You never felt attached to them.
They're so cute, cows and fear.
You never wanted to just say for ranching.
I love that whole thing.
I should have been a Texan.
At that time, Central California had more winning cowboys
than Texas or Oklahoma.
Well, that's so I was up there in the middle of all that.
Well, the northern part of California is Texas.
I mean, that Trump wins, you know, above San Francisco
all the way to the Oregon border.
That's Trump country.
I mean, that's red.
This was halfway, this was,
yeah, this side of San Francisco where I was.
Okay, but I mean, I'm telling you,
there's a big chunk of San Francisco
where everyone's wearing a red hat.
Oh boy.
So we're going back to the dumb guys.
No, I'm just saying we should be able to,
we should be able to live amongst people who we don't agree with
Where is I agree? Yeah, where nobody does that anymore one of our big problems. We don't mingle
Yeah, you would never wear a Trump hat on the New York City subway
You just it would just be you just never see it because you're worried you get beat up or something
Mm-hmm, and the same thing is you know at NASCAR you're not gonna wear a Hillary. I'm with her
Sure, you know
And I drove for five years I drove professionally
Yeah, I know you're a race car driver. Well, I quit when I knew I was gonna die so I quit
So you're a rancher you're the Marlboro man your race're a race car driver. You were going to be James Bond. I know that
about you. Oh, right. I thought I had the job and I came home and
Roger. But you're not English. But I know he had to make that decision
cubby broccoli. But I came home and Roger Moore said, okay, I'll do one more.
So I think he was bullshitting him. He was a sweet man, but the worst bond.
Roger Moore.
Yeah.
I mean, partly it was the...
Did a bunch of, no.
He did a bunch of them.
I think seven.
He... Wow.
And I watched one recently.
It's terrible.
I mean, it's amazing, again, the same thing with comedy
and what lasts over time.
Same thing with action movies.
It's comical how shitty the action sequences are compared.
I mean, it's literally sketch level props
where you're going through a cardboard door
and obvious breakaway glass.
And a fight scene probably took two hours to film.
I mean, it's just amazing
what the audience accepted back then.
And his quips, you know, it's just,
it's the tone of it.
It's so different.
It's just something.
I'm trying to think of one thing that I ever did like that.
I never was lucky enough to break.
Oh, well, maybe in Capricorn one,
I went through candy glass,
you know, on the gas station and cut onto the airplane,
got off immediately and let the stuntman get on.
Yeah, by the way, yeah, like, you know,
hanging on the wing in Capricorn 1,
there was only one stuntman in the whole business
that would...
Time on, then.
This would take off and do all kinds of...
There's a sequence in that larger, more moving.
I don't know which one it is, but they're in India.
And it's like a chase scene, but it's played for comic effect, knocking over fruit cards
and shit.
And on the way, because it's India, they do a gag. That's basically what they would say now,
a racist cliche about everything.
Possibly you could do such a cliche about it in India.
You know, he's going through the market
and it's a guy putting a sword down his throat.
So he pulls the sword out and kills the bad guy
and then puts the sword back in the guy's throat.
Oh, oh. And there's like 10 of those. George Lasonbee. the bad guy and then puts the sword back in the guys throughout.
And there's like 10 of those.
Yeah.
George Lason B.
I like that one actually.
You did?
He was okay.
Lason B was okay.
Check that out.
He did that one.
It was 1969.
I was 13.
I saw it in a theater on the Jersey Shore on Summer vacation.
Diana Rigg was the girl.
Completely, I totally wanted to have
sexual intercourse with her.
She absolutely did it for me.
She was also Mrs. Peel and the Avengers,
not the blockbuster Avengers.
The Anna Rigg, or you did, right?
Nice rig.
Yeah.
She did.
Oh, yeah.
I was reading some yesterday, by the way. Yeah. She did. Oh, yeah.
I was reading something yesterday, by the way.
I don't know if you remember when some girl bought,
went to drive through Starbucks and bought a hot coffee and spilled the inner lap and
made clam chowder out of her.
And got $2 million.
Yeah, well, if in a yesterday,
they awarded 800,000 to a girl that got deep fried chicken balls
and burned her lips, they gave her 800 grand.
I remember that McDonald's,
or I didn't know it had affected her, VJ.
Well, she spilled it in her lap, but...
Well, her lap, I didn't know that meant lay.
I mean, if it actually hurt.
Run me in the chit-a.
Oh, okay.
Okay, let's get to say, writer's embellishment
to this long-known story about...
Yes, please.
Sorry, I'm rewriting.
Because if that is what happened,
maybe that coffee is too hot.
I mean, I think it would be a shame
if Pussy's were ruined all over America
because it's...
I want hot coffee.
I want hot pussy.
And I will not have a
mean that's not ruined by McDonald's. But like you played Reagan that you killed that by the way.
Well, you killed that. You can see in the high you. Yeah. No. Like playing the
United Republic and I can't believe I don't really literally know what your affiliation is
But I can't believe Barbara's dry say would bury a Republican so that's my evidence
You cannot pretty playing it but okay, I'm trying to but you found out something that they like that
I like you know and maybe you could throw a couple of things at me that well
I got a pretty good idea here or there, but I... The Republicans, no.
They don't have any good ideas.
Yeah. They've been out of ideas for a very long time,
and now they're actually...
Isn't it? What?
Strange.
But they were actually worse,
because at least they used to believe in democracy.
Yeah.
Now they don't believe in elections.
Yeah.
And I want them to.
I want them to come back.
I want them to be...
I want the other sides to being kind of equal with us
So we can sit around and talk and play cards and have a great deal. I mean the truth is both sides got worse
One more scary one more obnoxious, right?
And you know when people go into the voting booth very often what they vote on is who's the most obnoxious
They don't really follow the policy.
They don't even believe the politicians will really carry out the things they say to begin
with.
So they very often vote on a feeling.
I mean, Trump is a massive contradiction.
Never he always speaks in front of a banner that promises kept to hold the Asbestos industry.
Never kept one Amazing that it works. It doesn't matter because it it's a
Barnum and Bailey. Yeah, you know, yes, it appeals on a level that's below the intellectual level
It's a feeling and by the way the more they indict him the more they the it's only good for him
Mm-hmm. It's
Inditing Trump is like dying in show business. It's the best
career move you could make. I mean, there's a number of people. I mean, James Dean, was he,
how many, what do you make? Three movies. If he hadn't died, will we still talking about him
like he was Mr. Cool? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he was.
Well, we are still talking about him. And yeah, no, the greatest.
If he, if he had a name, James Dean was the greatest.
He was really good.
He was really...
You know what I'm proud of?
But he did giant as the old guy, you remember?
Brock hated him.
That's in the documentary.
Hated him.
But some of his stuff in the, you know,
when the oil spouted out and him in the back of the,
you know, thing, you know.
Oh, that's, it's like him.
But I was a fan, so I'm still a fan, you know,
I was a fan of Brando's.
Still a fan.
Yeah, but Brando had a whole career
and he didn't die when he was young.
Okay, but he started doing shitty stuff.
Well, for money.
Of course.
Yeah, and he would write the lines on the actor's head.
Barbara and I are talking, you know, we talk about, you know, at what point you sort of back out
before you're forced to take the embarrassing jobs and stuff like that.
That's why I want to direct now.
I don't want to be in front of a machine.
Right.
Of course.
No, it's you.
I didn't mean that.
No, I mean, look, there are limited roles for someone who's 83.
Yeah.
I mean, there are, there is a whole genre I would call the Geeser film because there are
actors who become legendary and people still want to see him.
And if you put them in a comedy, I mean, De Niro, I don't know how many he's made
in the last five or 10 years.
Dirty grandpa, you know, like, did you see?
And I had something financed when the pandemic started.
I had something financed where I play an old guy
who's been divorced and the wife is in
one of these fabulous, aged villages, you aged villages. They go to a bar every
night and she's screwing all the old guys and he's living with all these boxes and crap.
When the daughter shows up with a baby and says, Dad, you got to take care of this baby.
Yeah, that was a cutest script, but it went away as soon as pandemic started. I had my money. I was starting to do my pre-production
anyway, yeah, I can take off. But that, you know, that I would do that kind of thing where it's really funny and stupid.
And it has to be and they always are. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I dirty grandpa's funny. Yeah, it's I mean, it's great
He's done ten of them. I was a whole bunch of him. I mean, he started with the Falkers and, you know,
he had a whole second win as a comedy actor.
And it doesn't for nothing and makes,
and they play and play and bring in money, you know,
so he's doing okay now.
Oh, they pay him quite well.
Yeah, that's what I mean in the end, I think.
There's a streaming value of all this. Oh, you got to do is put something
inappropriately dirty and young in the mouth of an old person. That's right. It's like an animal trick
I mean the audience just eats it up. That's me for real
Yeah, you know actually I was my brother and I have like a phone call between us or emails between us are so awful
that we could never share it with anybody.
Well maybe you and private or something, but it's like we're just so...
But that's the thing.
And that's wrong today.
Totally wrong. It's wrong that they stop it is what's wrong.
But if it makes you laugh.
Exactly.
And we used to be okay with that.
I thought of that when the,
you're laughing because you know it's wrong.
Well, exactly.
It's kind of like laughing in church.
Yeah.
And also because it doesn't actually affect anybody's life.
Like again, this is what I hate about these,
these posters when the submarine,
the Titanic submarine.
Yeah, oh, imploded, whoa.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank God I was here.
Not here.
Like, if this had been 10, 15 years ago,
there would have been a million great sick jokes,
almost all of them by Gilbert Godfried,
out the next day.
And it would not have affected anybody.
The family wouldn't be seeing these jokes.
We're not throwing it in front of them.
And the people on the ship, of course, are not going to see them because they're fucking
worm food, fish food.
And it would just be, why not?
But now you couldn't do it.
If you put that on Twitter, you'd be canceled immediately.
Oh my gosh, have some respect.
You don't have respect.
You just want to catch people at something.
That's what so obnoxious.
The desire to just catch people at some shit.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
I implosion, I was thinking of, you know, like the black hole in space.
How did it implosion?
When it happens, it's pop.
And that's it.
That everybody inside is now just a little pieces.
And you know, I, you don't even know it's coming.
No, no, you won't see it on social.
Although I heard that they heard some creaking,
I don't know how I heard that or how they were. Well, if you were on that that they heard some creaking, I don't know how I heard
that or how they were.
Well, if you were on that thing and you heard creaking, most of them had never been in
there before.
It's carbon fiber.
Well, or you'd be saying yourself, saying to yourself is, huh, creaking sound, I guess
that's normal.
Yeah, it's too late to say that.
It's like when you see the lights flicker in the elevator, is that supposed to happen? I guess that's normal. Yeah, yeah. And it's too late to finish.
It's like when you see the lights flicker in the elevator.
Is that supposed to happen?
Now that CEO was in there with him.
Oh, sure.
I guess he knew the creaky.
He had said when they lost contact on previous excursions, they lost radio contact.
He would laugh about it and say, oh, I would get it back.
There's no problem.
I got to get a new radio in this thing or something.
Right.
So there were a lot, and of course they didn't have
federal engineering approval on this
or general engineering approval.
How does it seem like a good idea?
I'm just saying.
Like, first of all, we have the movie Titanic
where we went down and we see it.
You can see it.
You can see everything you're going to see by actually going...
Well, and the director had gone down many times in a good unit.
And for the lucky us, filmed it.
So you don't have to go there.
Yeah, but he went back a whole bunch of times just because he liked it.
You knew that.
That's his thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's his thing. That's like... And obviously, he's smart that's his thing. Yeah. Yeah.
That's his thing.
And obviously, smart enough to survive it.
Yeah.
But like, why, just as a tourist, you know, like, okay, I'm just going to, I'm just going
to take my life, which is one of the, one of the guys was a billionaire, right?
Yeah.
And to take me and my kid, father, kind of father, son, fundee.
And we're gonna just put the whole ball of wax
on the line here.
And trust this guy.
And you don't have to be sealed in.
And pay this guy.
And pay him a lot.
And you have to be sealed into that.
Oh.
It's not like you just close the hatch.
They put you in and then you're sealed in.
Just that I wouldn't do.
You wouldn't even have to get in the water. Yeah. I wouldn't want to do that. Yeah. Now, would you go flying
with me in a plane that I built? Fuck no. Well, when the pandemic started and I got, I got sick
November of 2019 before anybody ever heard of COVID. I know this was a favorite subject of yours,
but I got really sick. No, I may have been too. I missed this is a favorite subject of yours, but I got really sick.
No, I may have been too. I missed your Thanksgiving that year. It was so
disappointed. I was sick. I could have been COVID too. That's what people were
starting to get. Because it was odd. It wasn't the lungs or anything. It was just
just everything. Man, ears ringing and spine felt funny. Oh, it's just
shrap. So I've had it twice.
Now I got it on an airplane going to New York
to do the talk shows.
I did the first talk show and they test you
before you go into the talk show and they say,
okay, you go on, you do the talk.
Then you go the next day to a good morning America.
They test you and they go, get out.
Right.
And I'm locked in a hotel for 10 days there, you know.
And that wasn't so bad that one, but I still feel like I have a long COVID. If I'm if I'm
strange. Really? Yeah, I just I don't know my balance, my ears ring a little bit. I just don't feel back together again. And I also
agree with you that possibly even those vaccines didn't help at all.
That's a push. We know I feel this. There's lots of stuff that should be
debated about it that they don't allow it. One thing I like, not to interrupt you, but we've been doing it all night,
that two doctors have said to me, you're asking me as if I know,
which I love that kind of doctor who says, I don't know, Jim, none of us know.
Well, I mean, what we do know is that they got wrong, the idea that the vaccine could prevent
transmission and got wrong, the idea that the vaccine could prevent transmission,
and got wrong, the idea that it could prevent you from getting it.
I got the vaccine, and then I got it three weeks later.
It could very well be the case that the vaccine, as it's supposed to do something to you,
lowered my immune system, and also could be the case that then when I quote, unquote,
got it, it was very, very mild. Those could be all be true. Have you heard of such thing as was when
my daughter tells me, you know, they get very ethereal up in Ohio, you know, a lot of pot smokers
up there. But my daughter tells me, oh, well, I had a homeopathic vaccine, which means just natural vitamin, who knows, whatever.
But she got it very, very lightly and I got it like a train wreck, you know.
So my wife has never gotten anything that I'm in the same room with her, you know.
It's a real thing.
I mean, it was a new pathogen. Yeah. And we should be able
to discuss all matters of it without having shit labeled misinformation, which became like a
byword for just, well, I don't agree. Well, that's not misinformation. And a lot of the misinformation
was yours, officials. Yeah. You know, so that's all. I mean, the vaccine, in my view, saved millions of lives because it was necessary for especially for people who were not in good shape to begin with.
So yeah. But what is weird is I've run into three people just incidentally that said oh my god
I had it in November of 2019 too. I had something
I've always been a healthy person. This has been three years of weird thing including my sinus
infection and all this stuff. I mean everything in the body works holistically and also look
When we're yes, when you're getting on in years,
you just long-covert.
They have to give everything like a new name,
like it's a new thing.
It's just that you have this pathogen
that your body is less able to fight off.
I don't want to accept it.
I don't blame you.
Then it was when you were 20.
I think that helps.
Yeah. If I wanted to accept it,
I might have been a hell of a lot sicker than I am, you know?
I am, I'm not sick, I mean, but I mean it may,
I think being positive about things
works for your body, right?
It's funny, and the,
and the Rock Hudson documentary,
big, it's interesting, the parallels with AIDS.
I've talked about this before.
And when people say, why are you skeptical
about stuff with COVID?
Because I've lived through a pandemic
or an panic before a virus, AIDS.
And I saw how they got a lot of stuff wrong.
And boy, they went into detail.
I remember this vaguely, but the documentary
does a great job in showing it.
He kissed Linda Evans.
He was on dynasty.
And he kissed her.
And people, there were lots of scuttle butt talk
at the time.
What's wrong with Rock Hudson?
Because he didn't look good.
But this is 1984.
Right.
1995.
Yeah, I aged was new.
Right.
And then when it came out that he did have AIDS,
the people on this dynasty set wouldn't go near Linda Evans.
Mm-hmm.
That's how the, that was the level of the panic.
He was in France and had to come home when he was definitely sick and he, they wouldn't
let him on an airplane.
They had to charter a plane from France.
I mean, wow.
Yeah, people do not act rationally to things like viruses.
That's what I would like people to remember about COVID and, you know, and when the next
one.
Now, with AIDS, there's people that are completely over it with no signs of the
You know T cell
minimization and stuff so all I know is you look great. Yeah, yeah
You're just that's just who you like I like the Richard drive this thing. I just I got couldn't believe what was going on
I thought he's so casual so so much more casual than I would have.
Well, I remember, yeah.
I think there may have been a little pharmaceuticals.
People have bad backs.
I mean, this foot thing, I mean, makes.
So we're going to have an intermission.
I'll be back next week.
We'll do another 90.
I'm going to bed.
You're going to bed. You're going to be...
What was that little big, uh, something a little Halsey? Yeah, big, not a little.
Something a little...
I think Michael J. Pollard and...
Yeah, I think that was Sydney Fury directing again.
directing again.