Club Random with Bill Maher - Judd Apatow|Club Random w/ Bill Maher
Episode Date: April 4, 2022Bill Maher and Judd Apatow randomly riff on whether humans will merge with machines, Maude Apatow being in Euphoria, why Judd refuses to take a DNA test, how Judd was chased for smoking weed, and why ...George Carlin still trends on Twitter.Â
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How awesome is it that I can drink and talk to Joe Dapetra at five in the afternoon?
This is what you've always wanted.
And people say it's been mean to Jesus, but the man does not take offense apparently.
So do you have a drink?
I do have a drink right here.
How you do?
Good.
You know, my parents used to watch the clock. How you doing? Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. I don't do that, but not before five. How far would it go? Well, my father was Irish, shall we say.
He was tense in his job, he was a newsman.
So, you know, in the days when you have to read the news,
like with a stopwatch, because it was live on the hour
on the radio station, it was a tense job.
The best conversation I ever had with him
was when I was in college and I was stoned and he was drunk. But he was never somebody who didn't function or was drunk on the job.
He just like you get home and boy you need to unwind. And did he mind you unwinding?
He was so fucking naive about it. One time my friend and I said the first year I'm just a fucking naive about it. One time my friend and I said, the first year I'm smoking pot.
What year is this bill?
This is 1975.
And you're 12.
19.
19.
19.
And 19 is the first time you spoke about this.
I did a six grade bill.
Look at me, I'm the straight one between us.
You used more pot and six grade.
My best friend Ronnie Garner, his brother,
followed the dead and he grew pot in his room.
And so one day we said, let's smoke that pot
because we were young animals.
I mean, he's known as my attention to us.
We were like, matchkey kids.
And so we were so scared.
We went to where they were building condominiums,
like half-built condominiums, like a horror movie.
And we took like one puff each and then a security guard was like,
oh, you!
And we ran for like seven miles.
I don't think I even turned them to a step.
But, and that was it for a couple of years.
Young animals, by the way, is a good title for you.
Yes. For something, right?
Yeah. Young animals.
I haven't written that movie yet.
The sixth, seventh grade year.
I would go right around the title. I would just go right for the title, Judd. But,
so listen to this story, I'm 19. My first year, you know, I literally would, like, my friend would,
when I was home, you know, from on vacation. Yeah. From my wonderful time at Cornell.
Okay, so I be with my friend,
he was the one who introduced me to the POD High School
friend, he would come over and we would smoke
like in the car, in the driveway,
and then sit in the driveway for an hour
because we were just laughing at the glove compartment.
I mean, that first year, the drug worked so well,
at least it did for me, especially as a laugh drug.
Yeah.
You're just hysterical, almost like what mushrooms
would be later in life.
You know, mushrooms is always a laughing drug.
But one time, it was the death of winter,
it's home-winter vacation, and we're driving,
smoking in the car, doing bongs,
we had a little bong, we'd do it at traffic loads.
Yeah, we didn't know.
Well, I could have been in jail now.
So, we rolled down, I say, rolled on all the windows
so when you had to roll them down.
In the Pontiac, Dad's Pontiac,
because we got to air out the car.
No seat belts.
No seat belts. no airbags.
No.
Nothing, just our wits.
And here's our wits besides smoking at red lights.
So I say, roll down all the windows
to air out the car before we get home.
It's like 10 degrees out.
We pull in, we forgot about the windows.
So my father shoveling snow, he comes over and
he says, it's 10 degrees out. Why are the windows all rolled down? And any other father who wasn't like
so trusting in his son would have known why. And I just said, oh, he farted. You know what the lesson that was it? Your dad was a terrible journalist.
He didn't sniff that out at all.
But you're right.
What it came to his kids, he was very naive that way.
You know, he was just, you know, good-hearted and trusting and stuff.
But, you know, speaking of family, I have to say,
your kid so killed it on euphoria this year.
I know, It's crazy.
Such a proud papa.
So, so proud.
And it seems like just yesterday she was saying, fuck you mom and this is 40.
Exactly.
That was preparation for euphoria.
You could see the stage.
She's a nice one.
Yes.
I mean, and she really, they made her a big part.
It was, she was fantastic.
Boy. What I like about the show is it was like two years. they made her a big part. It was, she was fantastic. I'm, boy.
What I like about the show is it was like two years,
the first two years was all leading to this.
I kind of, of him showing, you know,
why they're all messed up and traumatized
and the grief they have and it was really beautiful.
I, just as a, as someone who likes good television
and cinema to even get to have a little peak of what they're doing is
That's some high school play at that high school can put on huh exactly well. It's a surreal experience
Of course you can't it's like apocalypse now. Yeah, if you if you took that movie as people remember at the time compared it to platoon
I was like no platoon is not a comedy.
This same black comedy.
If you don't see it that way, it's kind of the same thing
with no high school play could ever look like that.
You just go with it because it's so entertaining
and it makes the art good.
I mean, it was, he's quite a talented, Levinson, right?
And it's fun to watch mod preparing, because as a parent,
she's telling you what work was like that day.
And so she's like, oh, I hope I did a good job.
I just cry a lot today.
And that's all you really know of what the day was.
And then you see it, and it's the most beautiful, intense scene.
And it's not at all like her description of it
when she's coming home.
So many kids of, you know, stars or...
Newspades.
No, Newspades, that's a really good...
Well, it does a little.
Sure.
Look at what you did.
Right.
And he was funny.
Yeah.
And that's...
I saw that...
Oh, I saw the first part of your carlin.
Yes, it's so funny.
So it's a carlin document, which will be on May.
May on HBO.
Yes.
Okay, it's amazing.
I mean, you don't even have to love carlin to begin with, but if you do, of course, it's
even more amazing.
But it's just, everything everybody knows.
I mean, you show there, and I've seen it also a lot.
He still quoted tons on social media.
Every week he trends and he's been
dead for like 15 years.
That's so rare, especially among the younger generations
who are not like us, who don't like we cared
about older people and even if they weren't around anymore,
if they were interesting, whereas I feel like
the younger generations are like, if you're not around while I'm around, you don't exist.
So, for Carlton to be like still trending, it's amazing.
He has the perfect bit for everything that's happening all the time.
And it doesn't matter what comes up, he has something about it over the span of the career.
Yeah.
Over 30 years, he hit big government big farm. I'm a wokeness
I mean, there's like there's a right for every subject, but his I noticed you show that
his father even though he was such a rotten guy and he was dead gone by the time he George was
eight, right? But I like one I think. No, I think he was around because George complained about him. I think he had saw him a teeny bit, but he was a monster to the mother.
But he says he was very funny.
He was funny.
And this is such a common chord, right, with comics.
The father is like a living room committee.
The father's funny, but not professional funny.
And the kid, so many comics have that story in them.
Sure. My dad had all the Cosby records and the Lany Bruce records and was he funny?
And he was funny, he made his friends laugh.
But on some level, he just put in me that comedy was an incredibly great thing.
He loved it so much.
That's what we had out.
Like, oh, you have to listen to this.
And your parents were together for a little while?
Oh, not for all time.
Until like, and junior high.
Oh, which were my high school was pretty good.
One by one, every kid's parents got divorced
and you would move from your house
into like the hidden ridge condominiums.
Everyone would switch over.
And that shows we are not exactly the same generation.
Yeah, because my experience is not that at all.
No one's got no.
So sad.
We're rather high.
Yeah.
Just to get out of it.
Dad would be in the swimming pool, seriously,
before he would leave.
Because he couldn't leave.
Right.
I mean, that's, honestly,
that was not that uncommon.
That's the Jersey way.
Remember in Mad Men, it was the character, the neighbor lady,
there's a lady who's like a single mom.
She's got that kid Glenn, who has a crush on John Ham's wife
and kind of a creepy kid.
Mad Men, yeah.
On Mad Men, yeah. A mad man. And yeah.
Well, she was like a pariah in the neighborhood.
This is the 60s.
Yeah.
Because you were in high school, what, early 70s?
Yes, I, freshman year was 70.
I graduated in 74.
Yeah.
What, what, I graduated in 85.
Yeah, so we're like a decade, and that decade
is the difference between a boomer and a Gen X, or?
Yeah, very different times.
Very different, because you experience the Beatles.
Hmm.
A little bit.
I was...
The end, I was old enough to know what I was experiencing.
Let me rephrase it.
You experienced the plastic O-no band.
LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Let me rephrase it, you experienced the plastic Ono band. Boy, they were pretty terrible.
There's a couple of killers there.
What?
Isn't that mother plastic Ono band?
Oh, okay.
You know what?
Yes, I'm thinking, yes, if you want to be technical, his first two solo albums, yeah, were the plastic one, but they're John Lennon albums.
Yeah.
I think of the plastic one of Ben as the gang that went up to Toronto with no rehearsal,
Eric Clapton and close Mormon and Yelko and played like Cold Turkey, which is a horrible
song.
Yeah.
He never did the big tour, John Lennon.
No.
He hosted the Mike Douglas show because there's a clip in the George Carlin documentary
where he's talking about changing
from like a corny comedian to an edgy comedian.
And then you reveal the other guests
on the Mike Douglas Show, or John Lennon in Yolkota.
You know what?
Got me more than anything.
Well, two things.
One, when he says, when he's first like really hitting it big,
and he says, the thrill of getting caught
in your own traffic, I've had that experience
where you're going to the theater
or trying to leave the theater where you're playing.
And there's a huge traffic jam
because they're going to the U, there's a crowd.
I am not having that, but I'm excited to hold it.
I could, you could, I'd have to create fewer lines of traffic to get in to create that.
Well, I mean, no, but you know what?
There's very few directors and there's one coming a little later.
I hope you stay a little and say hi.
Who are famous, it's very hard to become famous
just from being a director.
I'm talking to the public.
Like the man in the street knows your name.
Like he knows Spielbergs, like he knows Quentin's name.
But it's not a lot.
I mean, you said to the man in the street,
I don't know, name some directors. It's Gorsese, they know that, and they know. But it's rare, lot. I mean, you say to the man in the street, you know, I don't know, I'm naming some directors,
it's Gorsese, they know that, and they,
but it's rare, and they know his face,
and you know, he's like a slow,
that's a rare thing.
Yeah.
So get out there and sell some tickets.
Yeah, well, that's it.
I mean, I also do, you know,
I do some stand up,
and I actually only direct to get better spots at the improv.
Yeah!
Yeah.
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Comics, as you will know, are bitter.
The fox and one of the snakes we're bitter about is how shitty we were treated when we began.
I mean, there were times when I was promised money and got stiff, I could think of two,
not that they burned in my mind 40 years later.
But one was the comedy works in Philadelphia.
He said he would send me an excuse me check for a hundred, even that didn't come. Okay, it doesn't matter. I've forgotten
all about it. And there was another one I played in a disco. Oh my God, I was supposed
to get $30 to be in a disco, which let's just say that wasn't a great gig to begin with,
never got that. And then of course they would just cheat you out of money when we had to have a strike.
This is like 79. How many stores strike?
Comedy stores strike and also we had a union thing in LA. My book, I wrote one novel about my
beginnings. It's called True Story. You know, Ben almost made it into a movie way back in the day, but then other things happen.
But, you know, that, the political spine of that is the nascent union movement.
There was a group of comedians who felt, this is a showcase club.
We stink and we're allowed to stink.
And you don't pay us and in response we don't feel
any obligation to be any good because we're working it out.
The place is packed exactly a fortune.
That's the other argument.
Which side were you on?
Well, that was a couple of years before my time, but I know that it was ugly.
You know, in my book, the plot is about me and my best friend, this comedian, you wouldn't
know him, and that kind of split us apart.
You know, I thought he was a guy who was never going to make it as a comedian.
He was a funny, witty Irishman, but he was not overly burdened with talent for the stage.
A little corny, a little, you know, a little, not ahead of his time behind it.
And I thought he used the excuse of, let's all be, you know, solidarity and quit if he
don't get paid. It's like, well, you're not gonna make it anyway. You quit if you don't get paid.
It's like, well, you're not gonna make it anyway.
You don't care if you get paid.
Whereas, I'm gonna fucking beat out you other.
I'm gonna fucking beat out you other.
So I am willing to eat shit now
for what this club is giving me.
And so, and I kind of stand by that.
Not that we shouldn't have gotten something.
We did we got cab fare, but I was terrible. I shouldn't have gotten something. We got cab fare, but I was terrible.
I shouldn't have been paid.
And I feel like...
And they were people who crossed the picket line.
There was no picket line in New York.
I would not have crossed the...
That was in New York.
In LA, there were people who mitzied Gotze.
Yeah, I would never have crossed the picket line
because my father was a big union guy and his father.
I had my genealogy
done a few years ago on that show on PBS, you know, The Skip Gate Show. It's fantastic.
I refuse to do it because they want my DNA and I'm not giving it out to anybody. Is that
sharing? Maybe they're going to give it to my health insurance people. Maybe they're
going to clone me after I'm dead. I'm like giving Gates my personal genetic information.
Did I?
Yes, he has a, he could build you in the lab.
I'm gonna do it.
He could make a Bill Martin ear.
Yeah.
Oh, my, my, my, my, my, that's no skin off my nose.
Oh, maybe it is.
No, why would that fight me?
I don't like people that, I don't know.
You know what, it's so funny, the things that creep you out.
Right?
There's no logical reason for it.
Other than it made me think,
that feels like the most personal thing I can do
to give to strangers.
And I don't know where all that data's going.
So I've never done a 23-minute.
Now you're getting me paranoid about it,
and you could probably talk me into that point of view.
Anyway, I don't remember the part about my DNA.
I thought they just had researchers because they went to Ireland.
They found my Irish relatives going back to I think 1818, the church where they're
born, that kind of stuff.
There were records of that fascinating.
My grandfather, who I never met, but he was a bad ass. He was on the front
page of the newspapers in like 1919, 1920. He was head of the Boatsman's Union. He met
with the president Woodrow Wilson in the White House to settle this shit. He had the
whole New York harbor locked up looking for better wages. I mean, back then, wages were really shit.
That's my heritage. My father came from the same Irish, you know, when the Irish ran New York,
the cops and the Irishmen and all that stuff. And he would, he would have been heartbroken if I ever crossed any picket line.
And I never would. I mean, I'm pro union, but unions got corrupt too. That's not why. So you're from a long tradition of not taking any shit. Well, certainly my
grandfather was a badass. Yeah. I mean, that was mostly what skip gates concentrated on.
And then he brought out a small mouse with my dick on it. Is that, was that a prudent?
In 10 years, Hulu's gonna suddenly have a show with a guy very similar to you.
I mean, this team's there with the beer on the mouse.
Yes, well, this is the future.
This is they're gonna be able to improve the sections of our body.
I mean, you're not getting any younger.
Wouldn't you rather, I'm gonna miss it.
I'm gonna miss it. I can tell. Miss what? Well, like, if I was 20, I'd be like,
oh, what?
But if they had spare parts, I mean, we already are part of the way there.
Do you know who Ray Kurzweil is?
Yes.
You do.
Of course you do, you know everything.
Well he predicted a lot of amazing things that came true, like almost to the year of the
fall of the Soviet Union among them.
And half man, half robots.
Well, that's his thing. It's called the singularity.
I know about it. I have nightmares about it.
Well, why? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, he says 2028 is when man and machine become fully integrated.
Now, we're already part the way there.
Because I, I noticed when you fill out certain things, it's like, you have any metal in your body,
you know, it's like, you have any metal in your body. It's like, they're like,
and soon that's gonna be like,
do you not have any,
are you a weirdo-ish, no metal in your body?
Well, now you can put things on your head
and have you like type with your thoughts.
They're just beginning to figure out with your thoughts.
Yeah, like move a cursor with your mind.
So we're getting closer.
But at some point the robots just say,
it would be easier without the flesh people.
They just, yeah.
Well, that's an interesting debate
that people like Musk, Elon Musk,
and maybe it's Bezos have, I'm not sure,
but Elon Musk and I believe, and I'm on the page with him,
and you, which is that, it's true.
Because everything that happens in movies
eventually happens.
Everything, yes.
You know I was at the Oscar party with Elon Musk,
and I asked him, this is really funny.
It was like maybe 10, 12 years ago.
It was before Tesla.
And he's there, so many introduces me to him. I don't, I've heard his name, but years ago. It was before Tesla. And he's there.
So many introduces me to him.
I don't, I've heard his name, but I don't know who he is.
It's before people really knew who he was.
Really?
And I said, but you do.
I just kind of knew the name that maybe from like,
you had to pay powers.
Yeah, I had to.
And so I just said, so what are you up to?
And he said, I'm trying to come up with a spaceship
that can fly to Mars and back.
And I said to him, and we're both kind of maybe a little drunk,
I said, there's no way you're gonna figure that out
before you die.
That's hysterical.
I was trying to get him not to innovate to that.
I was such a Jew in that moment.
I was just like, you'll never figure it out.
Yes. Do something practical. That's hysterical. Wow.
But he is of the mind that, yes, what you say, eventually the robots figure out they don't need us.
I mean, it's disturbing, I feel, in itself, this typing with your mind, because
that seems like if you can do that, can't you read someone's mind?
I mean, yeah, okay.
For those Google glasses that no one wanted a few years ago, because like, you could be
wearing those glasses now, but videotaping our conversation without anyone knowing, those
are about to come back, I think.
You know, the idea that you had your computer screens on, they're like,
Robocop? Yeah. That doesn't bother me as much. I wouldn't use them, but it's still
living in the realm. We're living in it sneaky, but we also always have done
sneaky things. But getting inside my mind. Yeah. What's in the bill? What do they see?
I have a hard way less than most people.
That's true.
It's me and then a little bit of a real or me,
and then a little real or real or me,
and then public parking.
And that's what I would say.
Well, I would say that random is right in the middle.
But I always say about you Bill,
I said I feel like the thing I really respect
is that you mean everything that you say.
And I don't really feel like you write a joke
to get to the joke that these are your beliefs, or that you agree everything that you say. And I never feel like you write a joke to get to the joke that these are your beliefs,
whether you agree or not.
Correct.
And I think a lot of comedians,
they fudge their opinion to get to jokes
and like people want to be taken seriously
for their opinions,
but they also want to say,
I'm just goofing I don't mean any of it.
And you have to pick a lane, I think.
And well, when you start out, first of all, you're just trying to get the oxygen of laughter.
So you'll see anything, whether you believe it or not.
Or if it's you'll put on a wig.
Right.
You're just trying to survive.
But yes, as you get better and more sophisticated, and yeah, that, I mean, that became much more
in my brand.
You know, I feel like that's the bond with my audience.
You don't have to agree with me.
And many times people don't or they don't fully,
I always appreciate when someone says,
I always agree with you.
I'm like, there's a true faith.
But no, many, I love, just as much people will say,
you know, I don't always agree with you,
but they appreciate that, they respect that.
And that's the thing I won't break,
because then you've got to stick with your brand.
But interestingly, in the carlin' thing, he says at one point, when he's making the transition
from sellout, that person who needs the oxygen of laughter and money in his case. He's on the craft
musical, I mean, seen with John Davidson. And the other comic is Richard Pryor.
We're in the same swear.
We're the two, like, you know, fucking, oh, that's, it's not sad. It's like everybody's
career in show business. You got to fucking eat shit. Even Pryor and Carl and H.H.H.
on the crap musical.
It's almost uplifting.
And they're singing.
They're literally in like variety shows, singing numbers.
But he says when he switches up, he says,
yeah, I'm playing to like 40 year olds in nightclubs,
and they're not digging it.
I realized I had to go for the college crowd.
If a comic was like super honest like him today,
the last place they would go is the colleges.
Colleges is where even Jerry Seinfeld would play colleges.
Right? You know all about that.
I've heard that he said,
Yes, it's not a time to play.
We're doing the whole thing about it.
It was Jerry Seinfeld, said it, Chris Rock said it,
and Larry the Cable Guy.
So you play colleges?
A black Jew and a redneck walk into a college
and none of them want to tell any jokes
to these little bricks, to whom nothing is funny.
Yeah.
And yeah, I mean, do I play,
I would be the last one to be, I mean, I would be, they play a- I would be the last one to be-
I mean, I would be-
They would protest before I got to the college.
I wouldn't have been able to walk on this stage,
let alone survive.
I mean, they would not agree with one premise,
probably, that I had to say,
unless it was like Trump is an asshole.
Yes, we can all agree Trump is an asshole.
There's an easy one.
Yeah, depending, I guess, where are the colleges?
True, I'm sure there are colleges, you know, in Texas and in fucking places.
I used to book the colleges when I first met you.
Oh, I'd book you to college. Thank you for getting me back to my point of 20 minutes ago
which is why committees are better
because we don't get paid well.
But I remember to this day as well as the ones who didn't pay me
that you paid me $500 at a time
when that was not a common, that was a good payday.
Yeah, a good payday.
In tab in LA.
In LA, you picked me up.
I picked you up.
Do you remember the car that I was driving?
Yeah, I'm sure I was driving a Jeep, I think.
Is this 89?
Yeah, I could have been a Volkswagen. Also, I'm not sure. No, this was probably like, yeah, 87, 88. 87. So you were just two years
out of high school. I was, I was booking shows. Yes. To get spots. So I booked UC Santa Barbara, I booked
USC when I was going there. And then occasionally people would ask me to book things and I would,
book people I admired and then force you to drive in a car with me and talk to me.
Well, I
Remember thinking I mean I must say I have a pretty good eye for spotting it at a talent.
Takes a talent takes a big talent that just bought a big talent. I always say
No, I don't really say that but it made me feel good. But you, I thought from the very beginning,
I think this kid, definitely.
This kid is going somewhere, I'm not sure where,
but he is just too far along for his age.
Your level of knowledge, I remember, about comedy.
Yeah, and, you know, I was crazy.
I mean, whatever happening.
Well, this book, oh, perfect. Perfect. was and you know I was crazy I mean whatever happened it's book oh perfect
well you know I yeah I was sicker and I think people are listening to this not
hearing and watching it so let me see it I got here there you go but when I was a
kid in high school I would interview comedians because I wanted to know about
comedy and then I put out these books for charity for David Eggers 826 charity.
Oh, it's just more, you have a,
this is like a part two, right?
This is part two.
Oh, I see.
I got it.
You know, Letterman's in there, Sasha Byron-Cola.
No.
Nathan Fielder, who'd be Goldberg?
Who's that?
Nathan for you?
Have you not seen Nathan for you?
No. Oh, you'd love it.
Okay. Put it on your cue.
Oh, I mean, of course Okay. Put it in your queue.
Oh, I mean, of course, I'm going to read that.
But I was always obsessed with talking to comedians.
It was fun for this to talk to people because it was during the pandemic and everyone was
home.
So I got Letterman on the phone to talk for a couple of hours about what it was like.
Well, you got Letterman to talk on the phone because you're, you are who you are now.
It couldn't have been that easy in 1987 now.
And yet, you still did it. You
still got to talk to all these people. Well no one wants to talk to anyone back then.
I mean the thing is if you call Jerry Seinfeld in 1983 to do a long interview, he had never
done one ever. No one did like our interviews with comics back then. They weren't really
on the radio. They weren't in the newspaper there was no podcasts there was no internet so yeah it's
people were I mean that story of the poor riser tells yeah but he comes to his house
George Carlin came to his house to do an interview with his sister for her college
radio and he was well known by that I mean he wasn't a newcomer it was just
people you know people didn't used to be so paranoid it's yeah you know that
like in in Lincoln's time well of, Lincoln had a bad experience with this,
but like, you know, you could just roll up on the president.
You could knock on the White House door.
Yeah.
What?
Elvis did it?
No.
That wasn't what happened.
He showed up.
I know, but he was stuck before he went in.
He didn't just walk up.
There was no gate back then. It was just the White House. It was just a he went in. He didn't just walk up. There was no gate back then.
It was just the White House.
It was just a house in the neighborhood.
You know, if you had the right cape, you were in there.
In a badge.
Did they give them a badge?
There's a picture that hanging in the bathroom
in there of Elvis and that day.
Well, I mean, it just shows the power of celebrity.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, you can celebrity your way into or out of so much.
It's not right.
I'm not saying it's right.
It's horrible.
And yet, come on.
I mean, I'm sure you've done it.
My level of celebrity is so perfectly low.
Oh, it's not.
It's fantastic.
I remember going to say, you've never gotten a tape
with a restaurant because you know what?
Here's the thing. At my level, it's like one in six that it's gonna happen and it's worth it
And I'll take this shot every time then you need to get a better assistant. Yeah, the kid whoever is calling these restaurants for you
Is it really is not doing the job?
And they call up and they go he made knocked up in 2007. I don't know if you saw it. Yeah, you
Okay, well, I have to read your cry. You having a moment of confidence crisis that I have to read your credits for you. But I really want to go to see the Clippers with Shanling,
right? So we're walking in the Clippers game. And Shanling always said he had the perfect
level of celebrity because in a whole night of the Clippers game, three people walked up to him in a stadium,
and each one could not have been happy to talk to him.
No one else said a word to him.
Right, and he said, Judd,
this is what you want it to be.
Right, right there.
I would say it's similar for me.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, sometimes it's so funny.
People in civilian life have,
or your officers, they don't live in LA.
They don't have any clue.
They think every celebrity knows each other.
They think if you're famous,
every one of us is Michael Jackson in 1985,
that you know, we're just,
I have, that if I had children,
I'd have to put a blanket over them
because everyone would be taking pictures of them.
And I saw that by the way, the mall in Vegas.
So what?
Michael Jackson, run through the mall in Caesar's Palace.
We as one of his kids covered in...
What happened here?
We were just like a beekeeper thing.
Yeah.
It was hysterical.
I remember there was a head on the masks.
There was an episode of Eastbound and Down.
I love that show.
Danny McBride.
And he gets like the slightest job in show business, like an announcer on a local radio
to sports announcer on the local TV station.
And the next day he's got his kids wearing a sparkle check.
It was like the ultimate fame went to his head too.
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winning time podcast, where they get your podcast. Well, you had George Carlin on your show a bunch of times, some amazing appearances where
he really went at some of the other guests because I saw him when we were making the
video.
You know what?
I wish I had that whole decade back, actually, but like, I don't think he had a good
time doing the show because it was, first of all, he's such a brilliant guy.
And that show, you could be with three idiots.
And it's the art out of what he does.
It wasn't for him and he was right.
And like, I remember at the time I wished he liked it better,
but I see now why.
He was too good for it in a lot of ways.
But he was very written.
When he did set up, he never riff.
He wouldn't play with the crowd.
He didn't write on stage.
He just wrote it and wrote it and said it.
And we'll see that in your documentary.
Because just like you did with the shambling one,
I love this.
We see the notebooks.
You know, you actually see it almost in his head first,
but then on the page, sometimes the scribble out for the revised version
that we then see and hear him actually do, I love that. Yeah. I mean, talks about America and you see
the Post-it note, it says, it's a big club and you're not in it. Right. What did that mean? Well,
you just talk about like America because he had this pain and he said, you know, they call the American dream
because you have to be sleeping to believe it.
You know what, bit, I loved seeing.
I remember when he did it,
but it certainly resonated with me so much now
because of the pandemic and my feelings
about how it should have been handled much more internally than externally.
Yeah.
Internally meaning what?
Well, terrain theory, which even Louis Pasteur on his deathbed, and he was the father of
germ theory admitted to, is that it's not denying germs, of course, we're not insane people.
It's the terrain that whatever the invading
pathogen is trying to take root in. That's what is the deciding factor. If you're a swamp,
mosquitoes will breed. If your body is not a swamp, they have a little hard time. That's
not saying you can't die if you're not a swamp. So when he said, when I was a kid, we swam in the East River.
And none of us got polio.
Every other, we swam in sewage.
And he goes on and on.
And it's just like exactly.
I just felt like, he also said at one point
that could have come out of my mouth these days,
he said, I don't like orthodoxy from the left or the right.
He was like the only guy I don't like orthodoxy from the left or the right. He was like the only guy I can use as a load star for that who wasn't predictable with
his stuff on everybody.
I didn't even always agree.
I felt like his thing on environment was stupid.
There's plenty of that don't work at all.
I mean, I went to all of it.
I mean, some of it is like
all of us is great. The planet will be fine. Yeah. Well, yeah, we're not worried about
the planet. We're about us living on it. You know, it was like there was an arrogant
about trying to clean up the planet for your own enjoyment. That's what makes me feel
so breath. Yeah, I mean, he was just like, very old-life. Exactly. Like, he thought there was something about that
that it was self-centered to do it for yourself.
I'm not exactly sure what that,
maybe I'm misquoting it.
So after you do one of these documentaries,
right, are you a second of the guy?
Well, that one I was worried because I was very close
to the Gary Shanning.
I had met George Carlin, but I didn't know him.
And I just thought, can I capture him with my partner, Michael Bonfiglio, without having
that experience.
And his daughter, Kelly Carlin, was really instrumental in telling the story.
And so I'm just so happy that her family thinks that it is a correct because it's also about
his marriage.
I mean, he had a's also about his marriage.
I mean, he had a very tumultuous marriage.
They both had addiction issues,
and then they worked it out,
and it's a beautiful but rough story.
I love the drugs.
I love the drugs.
Why continue?
No, I love the drug stuff in there,
because we learn a lot about Coke, liquor, and pot.
There's a, he's on a TV show way back
and he's saying, again, pioneers get all the arrows.
I mean, fuck, he's saying, I don't know what year that was,
but he's saying, I guess the kid Kelly probably was
like seven or eight or something and he's saying, I guess the kid Kelly probably was like seven or eight or something and he's saying,
well we'd rather her, she smoked marijuana, then do liquor, it's healthier, which is now a fairly
commonplace and of course scientifically undeniable. And he was saying they smoked pot in the house
on a morning show in LA. That's a really, so shocked. It might be an afternoon show. I mean, their jaws are on the floor.
I'm like, yeah, they smoke pot and we think it's fine
and we'll talk to our dog.
No, you could tell the lady is like, how can I say this?
So this doesn't get on me.
Yeah.
You don't really think marijuana.
That would be acceptable to a child.
Yeah.
I mean, they are losing their shit.
But when you, there's a, you see him in the round,
at one point in the, I kind of remember that shot,
I don't know what it is, but boy,
do I see in that performance a guy who's coked up?
Absolutely.
Oh absolutely.
It's like, the typical coke joke is the guy
who can't shut up and and you hate that guy
But it's like oh, but he has the right job for being that guy
Well, he's also writing but he's also manic. He's manic and he's like doing coke for days at a time
By himself never with other people. It's never social and he's writing and he's listening to music and
And we have audio tapes of him like singing and screaming.
And I keep suddenly paid a price for it with a lot of heart problems.
And I can't even imagine doing drugs like that.
I'm certainly not against drugs, but only doing them wisely.
But one thing he had obsessive compulsive disorders
and maybe attention issues and something about the effect
of cocaine for him, he thought was serving this obsession
with writing and language and maybe they were all working
together in some way and then it fully, like it does with,
you know, drugs like that, gets away from him
and really wrecks your life.
But I was talking to his manager about it
because I wanted to make sure we got it right.
And he said to me, you know, Judd,
he said to me all the time, I love cocaine.
He did it for a very long time.
And there was something lonely about it
because it was about being on the road.
And he had to cancel gigs.
Oh yeah.
There's an appearance on the Mike Douglas show
with his mother where his voice is.
God, yes.
And he was canceling shows, because of it.
Yeah.
There's that story, it's very funny that Paul Ryder tells
that when he comes over to the apartment, yeah.
And then he's, they say when he's leaving,
it's like, where are you going?
And he's like, I gotta go uptown to buy a camera
and the pole's father's like,
let me check you downtown, I got the best place.
So he goes with them and buys the camera
and they run into him like a year later
and they say something about remembering that day.
And he said, yeah, I was on my way uptown to buy coke
and I wound up having to go downtown to buy a camera.
He was never, he was never going uptown to buy a camera. He was in going up to the blanket camera.
It was a town to score.
But how amazing is that Paul Reiser's sister interviews him.
They kept the tape.
I have the audio in the documentary.
And there's this amazing story of them driving him to a camera store and against his will
he buys a camera.
So he doesn't look like his back up.
Show business is so serendipity. Do you know how Paul Reiser's really excellent career
started? He was buying underwear in New York City in 1981 with the guy I was just talking
about who's in my book as the guy who the Irish guy. I think I know who it is.
Okay. I don't think you knew him. I love him. He was a great guy. But anyway, Paul and he were
going shopping, underwear shopping at Macy's, and then Paul's, Mike had this, Mike, okay,
giving it away, had this audition. And he said, Paul was just like hanging around with him.
He didn't have any of it.
And he comes with and winds up with the part.
In diner.
Yeah, very lucky to.
Yeah, because he's just funny in the lobby.
How did it happen?
Where did he, I think he was just like
chatting with the people in the lobby
and they just said, hey, you want to come in?
But I mean, you can't, it's crazy.
And also just can't.
I mean, you know, that movie for me is a really big movie
because I was very aware that he had improvised
a lot of his part and that very leavens in,
he had collaborated on that character.
And as a kid, I thought, wait a second,
the actors couldn't make stuff up in the movie.
It was the first time I understood about improvisation
and that type of collaboration.
And the way all those friends talked to each other in diner
was what I was partially copying with knocked up
and all the friends in Seth,
because I was blown away by that movie.
Right, you've always had a troop. And that guy's son is the director and writer.
Yeah, I do. I'm weird as that. No, I'm saying. There's only six people in show business.
But I'm not surprised about that. That's interesting that we got onto the diner thing though,
because now that I'm thinking about it, yes, I do see that DNA. And your DNA is, well first of all, it's not in the head to skip gates.
Let's make sure that's nice. By the way, if I was going to trust my DNA with anyone, he might be the one guy.
He does this very honorable guy. I respect to him. Love that.
I'm going to set up some kind of my blood as an apology.
Skip, you can have my DNA, my blood, my gins.
You can have whatever you fucking want, my friend.
I'm no snob about my bodily fluids, unlike some people.
I mean, your DNA is like, you are one of those people.
I would compare you a little, although much more successful, of course,
to PJ Arork who just passed.
People, PJ, when I read the National Ampoule,
like in the early 70s, man,
I mean, Mad Magazine was fine for being 10 years old,
but National Ampoule was wicked,
and that was PJ Arork, not at the very beginning,
when it was good too.
But PJ's years were, I thought, kind of fucking amazing, and that DNA became Saturday Night
Live.
A lot of those writers, Michael O'Donnell, George Wire, and yeah, a lot of them, and the sensibility,
you know, and it kind of, and Saturday Night life, you know, spawned how many most, most of the comedy movie stars we've had in the last 40 years,
Will Ferro, how many movies did you do with him?
Yeah.
Well, PJ Rock was one of the first political writers, like, who wrote in a comedic way.
After Lampoon.
Lampoon, it was everything, you know.
But then, yes, he was for Rolling Stone.
He was their correspondent, and he was all over the world.
He was a brilliant doing that, too.
But your thing has a lot of girls.
Well, it was also like the thing from Barry Levinson was,
there are people who are funny.
You could get to know them, pay attention to how they speak,
how they're funny in real life, and find a way to put that in the movie and that's the big
thing that I took from it was oh you you meet people whatever it could be
anyone that I've worked with and I'm writing with them or for them based on who
they are I'm not creating a character and going act like this most of the time
I'm collaborating on creating a character. I was just watching the movie,
The Man With One Red Choo.
Oh yeah.
You remember that one, Tom Hanks, 1985?
Probably is 34th movie.
It was like, I've never seen it.
So I was like, I see these things.
I have TVs like in four places.
I go watch in my bed.
That's where I watch.
Important stuff that I actually want to watch.
Yeah. Then I got stuff. I have a TV, a little TV in the bathroom, you know?
Yeah, for the tub.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
See, you're right. What do you watch with me with your fucking googly glass?
Newsmax in the tub.
Not Newsmax.
No, I was watching the man with runRetcha. I like the tapes.
I'll go through the movie channels.
Like, oh, I never saw that.
I'm gonna catch up with them.
Or I'll watch this again because I liked it
20 years ago, it was something.
I don't know what it was.
What?
How did it hold up?
You won't get an hold up, they've never seen it.
Oh, hold up in time.
Well, yeah.
Not great.
I didn't realize it was,
it's like, it's the oldest joke
in the world.
It's the guy who's mistaken for a spy.
It's that movie.
I, for some reason, thought it was a little more than that,
but it's not, it's cute.
It's of its era.
But this is the 80s.
And like, there was no attempt, like, when you knock a guy out
to look like you really could have knocked him out.
It's just like, it's indicated. And it's like, OK, I see the guy is supposed to be out for the plot to move along.
This guy has to be lying on the floor unconscious.
But what this man did to render him unconscious is just a preposterous, unrealist.
It's a bad man. It was a conscious of every punch.
There was a lot of some of you hit someone with a karate joke,
like from the side on the neck,
it was something about the angle of your hand
would just automatically put them out.
And then of course, they would wake up
and we would be no repercussions
from being rendered unconscious.
We're not very conscious.
And then there were always like eight people on the ground.
And at the end of the scene as the guy would beat him up left,
they would all slow.
He'd be looking at it.
But not enough time I'd go get him,
but just enough to go.
That's his miracle.
But that was a great ear of Tom Hanks,
because he does a bachelor party, right?
Yeah, and booze and buddies, and then big.
And he just said, I'm going to be a great actor and time after time,
he just kept doing it till he completely broke through.
Oh, yeah.
In that way.
And, you know, he was great early, you know,
it's like the early Beatles stuff.
Yeah.
It was different, it was somewhat simpler, but it's still good.
The Jackie Gleason movie.
You know, remember, you made that movie? Yes, it was a great movie. The Jackie Gleason movie. You remember me in that movie?
Yes, that was a great movie.
That was 85, I remember.
Well, that was a guy who used to hang out
at the Improv wrote that.
I remember Bud Friedman being very excited about it.
Yeah, it was a father's son one.
I think that was the first one he did where it was.
Okay, now we're in the revolver phase.
Punchline.
Punchline, yes.
Yes, we played the comedian.
Do you remember when Barry Sobel was running around the club with Tom Hanks teaching him
how to do stand up?
I don't remember Barry Sobel so much, but I do remember Tom Hanks and I remember thinking,
wow, he's an actor, actors usually are horrible approximating stand up, but he could be a
stand up.
And he's proved that.
I mean, he's done SNL and things.
Yeah.
I saw a sketch.
They read me on a sketch of him as Dean Martin.
Did you see that sketch he's playing?
Dean Martin and Carl Sagan.
It's like 1990.
Oh, it's, man, Dana Carby comes in as Paul McCartney.
Oh, some of that stuff.
I mean, I watched The Ben Stiller.
Some channel had an on about five years ago.
Wow, that stuff was funny.
And you were a kid.
I was a child.
I was 24.
24.
I was a kid there.
Do you remember the, there was a commercial
for a Dandruff shampoo?
And Dandruff, like, people kept.
And him and Bob Odin Kirk, they did a parody of that.
All the, one where they did Woody Allen's Dracula,
it was, yeah, husband and wife. the one where they did Woody Allen's Dracula.
It was a husband's and wives. That's right, with monsters.
So was Andy Day.
Because French is for a copeless Dracula,
which was like Woody Allen.
Yeah, but the funny thing about that sketch
and this is why we were canceled
is Ben Stiller was doing an impression
of Sydney Pollock as Frankenstein.
And that's so that's too many levels for most people.
Yeah, I can't even picture with that.
Yeah, Sydney Pollock puts none of...
See, there's a director, a great director.
An actor too.
And a good actor who is not nearly as famous as you.
Even though he's a...
He's a...
He's a...
I'm just saying, that was an inside the town,
said New Pollock.
And he could still get a table at any fucking restaurant
on any day, on an hour's notice.
He would call up and go, I directed the firm.
John, do I have to give you show business lessons
at this late date in your life?
Well, the one or two times when my kids have seen me try
to use my name.
And this is how you do it.
This is why you don't do it,
is if you don't have an assistant at the time
and you call a restaurant and you say,
uh, hi, uh, this is John Apatow,
do you have room for two?
Because you can't say do you have room for two,
because they say no, you have to get the name out quick.
And I did it and I hung up and my daughter
who was 15 at the time turned to me and went,
you are such a Hollywood dick. That's why I love that this is 40 movie because it was so, I mean, I say it's interesting
for me to be saying this so real from someone who's never lived in a home with children.
But there's no children.
But somehow I knew it was real.
You know, somehow it just really, that's an opus.
That's a terrific movie.
I've told you that before.
Oh, thanks.
I mean, I'm trying to write this as a movie.
You went to a different level with that one.
Yeah.
Thank you.
What you're so appropriate, because 40 is sort of when you,
you know, you build your life from 20 to 40,
and then you live in it for, you know, hopefully,
you're fucking in awkward.
Plays Jesus or something that you get, you know,
an album looks, I mean, to get that opportunity
to look at Albert.
Yeah.
Because the night before he would shoot scenes,
he would send me jokes.
So I'd get emails with like his punch up ideas,
which is like, you know, your dream
that you've got this and they were incredible.
Yeah, well, he was always so funny.
I mean,
modern romance was for comics,
that sort of like shorthand movie
that we would just do lines from,
which I'm sure loads of people do,
with your movies, I mean, super bad.
And I've heard all those kind movies, I mean, super bad.
And I've heard all those kind of, you know, stuff that comes back.
But in the future, since you have this terrible esteem problem and this horrible person booking
you reservations, in the future, just say, I'm Maude Apatow's father.
Well, you know what happened?
That's the reason to have children,
so they can help you when you're this washed up loser.
This is how I know that it's my time has passed.
As I was, I go on Twitter and I see...
Time is not past!
What the fuck?
On Twitter and I see that my name is trending.
My name is never trended on Twitter.
And I look it up, and the first person
that says, I just found out
what Apatow's dad is Judd Apatow.
And then the next tweet is,
who the fuck is Judd Apatow?
And then the next tweet is,
he's a director, and then the guy responds,
I don't know the name of every nerdy fucking director,
and I was trending because people were debating
that they didn't know who I was.
Again, I can only say your publishes, I'm sure you's a perfectly wonderful person. I feel like
this is not appropriate. Do I have to like list all the things from freaks and geeks that you did and then cable guy I love and anchor man people just did anchor man
people just say hi anchor man guy
that's it up to me and then you know I'm gonna say what's the sense to do my reservation oh
you know I haven't mentioned my favorite movie of all is ballhard as far as just losing it
yeah just laughing
we like that one
oh
although when walk-hard came out
and it did not open
as they say
it had 2.9 million opening weekend
which is not what they were hoping for
my daughter watched me take the call
where I found out that it didn't make money
and she said to look on my face scarred her for the rest of her life.
Just seeing dad fall apart.
But I'm sure everyone's now seen it.
Sometimes it takes a while and you see it on cable.
And whenever there's a new music biopic, everyone watches one coin.
You know what?
Jack Rollins was Woody Allen's manager.
Yes.
The famous Rollins and Jaffee and many other esteemed clients.
And when Woody was starting, he was telling his jokes
that the Greenwich Village bottom line
are one of those clubs down there.
Cafe WAH.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Hall of Belose Club, you know, whatever it was.
It was mostly folk music in it's like early 60s.
And somebody said, I'm Jackie, and he goes up there every night
and he bombs.
No one's laughing.
And Jack said, they're wrong.
So that's their wrong.
Yeah.
You know,
you know,
I said, just take a while.
Yeah.
Well, that's just true.
Things bubble up that you're surprised.
I mean, how the mod is a movie that you got killed
when it came out?
A little bit.
I mean, bubble, yeah.
Well, my new movie.
Are we promoting it?
I mean, I think I thought I'd be like,
I don't think I have to prove to anybody that I'm doing this thing
without any sort of, oh, hair.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, preparation. So, I don Oh, yeah. Yes, preparation or so, like, I don't,
I barely know who's here.
I knew you were coming, of course, at some point.
No, I know it was today, but I've been excited
about it ever since.
But you have, they told me, let's get to the plug.
You have a movie and you're a big time director.
Assistant.
Bubble is it called the bubble?
No, bubble.
Yes.
Okay, so this means the pandemic bubble?
Well, it's about a group of actors trying to make a flying dinosaur action movie
during the pandemic in a lockdown in London.
I read about this somewhere. So they're all stuck in the hotel,
having a nervous breakdown,
because they can't leave.
They're only allowed to shoot the movie,
and as it falls apart,
the studio won't let them leave.
And it's Keegan Michael Key,
and Fred Armason, Kate Cannon, and Lezzy Mann,
and that's another thing you do great is cast.
You know, not that it's not your script and your touch,
but the people with Jim Carrey,
it's hard to lose, which Jim Carrey in that role.
I mean, Ben Stiller, Will Farrell,
you once asked Sparky Anderson
when he was a manager of the Reds, like what a seeker
to managing was, and he said, I write Pete Rose's name on the lineup card.
That's right.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so true of it.
As far as you with this one, because I thought, oh, this is almost like a Christopher
guest movie.
Let's get 10 funny people.
We'll shoot in a hotel everyone having a nervous breakdown.
Hi.
And then on another stage, we'll shoot this dinosaur movie, green screen, and intercut
them.
And, you know, that's the fun part for me, is to... And then on another stage we'll shoot this dinosaur movie green screen and intercut them and
You know, that's that's the fun part for me is to so is it like a straight-up comedy or is it? It's a hard okay. It's like so it's just it's it's literally the
goofy-ass most bonkers
movie I've made it's not emotionally grounded right it's it's in more and more brooks
Right, which is really fun because I thought,
that's what people want right now.
They want to commiserate about how terrible this has been.
It's great that you couldn't like, usually like Woody Allen.
OK.
We don't hear a lot about him these days.
We just talked about husbands and wives.
We could get into, yes.
But I'm talking about what I think is his unfair banishment from life.
But like he was the funny early companies, right?
And then he morphed into more serious and remember there was that always that thing about,
well, would he want to just make a funny movie?
It's like, well, that's not what I do.
So he never went...
Yeah, he'd go in the street, tell you, like, off. not what I do so that's what's Twitter back then he never wouldn't yeah
like
it's like that's the thing a comedy when the woman's on the phone she says
Mr. Langford you talk
he says no you should only die of cancer
yes
but
what are we talking about
we're just talking about the early funny colleagues.
Oh yes, people would be like,
oh, Woody, why don't you go bananas?
And it just be funny.
But once he transitioned to, I guess, with any whole,
like, he never went back and like,
oh, you know what, 10 years later,
I think I'm just gonna make a man cap one.
But he could have.
And it probably would have been good for him to do that.
Sure.
But so I think it's good that you can go back to just like you're,
I mean, I don't even think I've ever gotten this hard before.
Really?
Yeah, and so that's really fun.
And also I've never worked with special effects.
I mean, everything I've ever done is just two people
talking in a restaurant.
So to actually have to design flying dinosaurs
and work with the people from industrialite
and magic to make it look like one of those movies,
I had never done any of that before.
And then find a way to do dick jokes with dinosaurs.
You were good at everything you did.
Still are.
Thank you.
All right.
Thanks, I could talk to you all night.
Yeah.
But, you know, I have a day job.
I know. I know. I know. I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Clarence.