Club Random with Bill Maher - Mark Cuban | Club Random with Bill Maher
Episode Date: December 26, 2022Bill Maher and Mark Cuban randomly riff on Mark’s attack on Big Pharma, Mark’s love of owning the Dallas Mavericks, Bill’s distrust of the cloud, inside Mark’s DM’s, gold vs. Bitcoin, and th...e new generation of sports fan.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Club Renew.
Help you had other things to do in town.
It didn't just for me.
But I would.
Thank you.
I only say, don't keep a billionaire waiting.
But what else are you doing in town?
I've just got some meetings for Cosplus Trucks.
Just out there just talking it up and just.
For what?
Oh, the Cosplus Trucks.com company I'm doing.
Oh, I know you're big on that.
I mean, I'm always going after the pharmaceutical industry. I'm just a drug addict. I'm just a drug addict. I'm just a drug addict. I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict.
I'm just a drug addict. I'm just a drug addict. I'm just a drug addict. I'm just a drug addict. I'm just a drug addict. use this too many pharmaceuticals. It turns to that solution. Don't go, he started on COVID or do.
Either way, I don't know where you are in that.
Obviously, people needed lots of people
were saved by the vaccine and needed the vaccine.
And some people didn't need it.
And don't want to be told what to do
and every medical intervention is a very personal choice
about your personal health.
So, you know, I don't know if that's all in your thing.
I know you just want to get the cost down, right?
Yeah, I mean, you know, the fact that people
have to make a choice between rent, food, and medication.
Right.
It's just wrong.
Well, I would always pick medication. No. You know, sometimes it's what works. What are you drinking? Just beer. That's all you drink?
Pretty much now, yeah. I mean, I hate beer. See, I'm just like a sip and enjoy and
see my problem is I have two speeds on and off and so if I go I go well then you crash
no I just go too hard I'll just do stupid shit you know so you're about doing
drinking yeah just drinking right I mean it's not like I'm not just a let's do
one shot you know let's have one you wrote that way all your life pretty much
really yeah I don't picture you that way. Up until how recently?
Up until probably my kids got to be teenagers
and it was more about the example.
How long ago was that?
My kids are 13, 16 and 19.
So it's still going.
You are still capable of...
Oh yeah, I could go hard.
Yeah, I mean, I want to basketball too.
Those guys go hard.
I know, but they're so much younger than you.
That's why they can.
So you party with them.
I have.
I mean, not as often as I used to.
I mean, yeah, I mean, I used to take pride in being able to keep up.
Isn't that hard to get close like that?
And then you might have to trade them or you don't care.
No, I mean, because it's a business.
It's like you transfer somebody to another office.
You know, they're still going to get paid.
It's not as such an interesting way to put it.
Yeah, you're transferring someone to another. You know, they're still going to get paid. It's not as such an interesting way to put it. Yeah. You're transferring someone to another. You're on. Yeah, there's only 450 players in the league
at the top level, right? Right. And they know they're one of the 450. So it's not like all of a sudden
they're out of the league. They're still getting paid. And it can be disappointing. You're facing
people out of the league all the time. Yeah, I mean, yeah. It's a Darwinian very much. That's why we
love sports is because it's like everything else in the country seems to
devolve away from meritocracy.
Right.
For reasons that are somewhat and valid and sometimes very valid, you know, it's all different,
right, but sports.
But sports, you play to win.
There is no, there is not one I never doubt
That those 450 are the best for 50 and it's insane
I mean everybody's played basketball at some point and what other industry can say that?
None certainly not the sociology department
No, no, no academic institution anywhere could say that
They're they're really almost any institution.
No, for sure, right?
I mean, whether it's government,
whether it's a major corporation, academic,
there's so much bullshit these days
because you have to have people who manage people
who, you know, try to watch out for people's feelings
and it's just...
I have no doubt that those are the best for 50,
but the reps.
That's been an expensive topic for me.
And you know, I could find a lot,
but you know what I mean?
I find not to make everything political,
but like in general, I must tell you,
and you know, I was a minority owner of the meds.
I didn't know that for 10 years.
Yeah, so I know what it's like to be able to have a box and all that stuff and feel and
also lose money.
I lost a fortune in this.
That's crazy.
Capital calls.
Yes.
And then made a lot of money from it.
Well, that was the owner at the time that got hit by made off, right?
Correct.
The wheelpons.
The wheelpons.
The wheelpons.
The wheelpons.
The wheelpons.
Yeah.
The wheelpons. The wheelpons. The wheelpons. The wheel of yours. No, not really. No, it's not like billionaires hang out. That's not my crew. Yeah, they think the same thing about people and jobs.
Right.
You all know each other.
No, fuck no.
But I must say sports is too regulated.
It's just like I will see somebody make the most incredible catch.
And then they'll watch, of course,
the replay like there's a prudofilm.
Right.
And it's just the ball like jiggled a tiny tenth of an inch
and they take the catch away.
And I just wanna go fuck you.
Fuck this.
That could be more of a team anymore
because that's this football.
I'm talking about football.
Guy makes a catch.
Right.
And it's an amazing catch sideline.
Toe tapping.
The pass is perfect.
And in the old days when they didn't have replay,
of course it would just be like, oh,
I always want to go close enough.
You assholes.
Close enough.
You know, how else are they going to fill the time
in football?
There's only like 12 minutes of real football
in a football game.
But I feel like there is a parallel with that
and the feeling of being over-regulated as a citizen,
which we know in California.
I'm also for intelligent liberal moves,
but this state is nuts.
Yeah, they do go a little bit overboard.
I could not live here as a permanent resident,
it's just because taxes in the regulation.
Yeah, I love coming out here, but I'm a visitor.
And those are the reasons, taxes in the regulate.
That's a big part of it, yeah.
Just because, I mean, look what's happening
in San Francisco.
I mean, an entire industry is getting pushed out.
You know, the whole technology industry went from,
okay, this is growth, this is, you know,
the new thing and now, you know,
it's just about people shitting on the street.
I was gonna say,
the cleaning up the shit off the street industry
is doing it really well.
You know, the app to say, where you can go take a shit.
Cleaning the broken glass industry.
You know, just mastering.
I mean, I don't wanna add to the shit on the street and take it up on San Francisco. I
Love San Francisco. I think we all love San Francisco. No, you know, I've never been a big San Francisco fan at all
You know, I know what you mean. It's a little clicky
Pretentious as fuck right being in the tech industry
Everybody is the smartest motherfucker in the world if you live in Silicon Valley.
Well, and also too politically correct.
I know so much I need more.
As for a comedian.
But maybe, yeah, maybe.
You know, it's the kind of place that's like, oh, I know you think you're smarter,
but you're not, first of all, you're not smarter than the people in Tulsa.
Right. Who come to my show anyway.
Right. And they're a whole lot more fun.
I mean, the attitudes, I mean, it's just like,
and that's where tech grows, where tech grows.
Of course we're smarter.
You know, we went to Harvard, we went to MIT,
we're in tech, you just can't hang, right?
You don't know what the fuck is going on.
I do all I can not to let any of my investments
work out a Silicon Valley.
Well, tech is, I mean, just because you're good at tech
doesn't mean you're the smartest person in the world.
Oh, no.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Right, you're good at that one thing,
which is very important.
It's a vital thing.
But there ain't not even that good at it.
They're just there to pretend that they're good at it, right?
You know, because if it was,
look, there's a lot of capital there,
so that people follow the money.
I get that, right?
But the pretentiousness and the attitude and the expectations and the money, I get that, right? But the pretentiousness and the attitude
and the expectations and the arrogance,
like it's just a business.
And you can be good anywhere in the world.
Hopefully you'll come here to this country
and make the choice like immigrants used to
and come here and start companies.
But I'd rather start a business in Dallas all day every day.
I will not.
Oh, I know, of course.
And or Florida, you know, I mean, this, no, look,
I hear this from so many people, I know, who, you know,
again, the woke will cast this as some sort of two
conservative, no, we're not conservatives.
No, we're not conservatives.
I'm sure it's just like, you guys don't get it.
Woke and liberal are two different things.
They're very often the fucking opposite of each other. Yeah.'t lump and then be like anybody to the right of woke is a concern.
No. It's a drive people just want to live freedom should be a liberal thing. The word
is that's what Lieber means. Free. Right. And look, we can have different attitudes,
but just the idea of people getting classified
as woke or non-work or conservative.
We don't talk about ideas anymore.
We don't talk about solutions anymore.
We talk about categories.
You do.
You do not do it all the time.
Yeah.
For sure.
I mean, but generally, people just want to classify you.
Well, what they know, what they want to do is just hear what they already think they know
and root for the team.
And they, I always say, people need deep programming
and then it struck me, no, idiot, they like programming.
They like the program.
They don't, of course they don't want to be difficult.
Here's what I think, here's what I think.
So my generation, I'm 64 years old, I'm a boomer, right?
And we grew up sex, drugs and rock and roll.
So it's so disappointing that we evolved to be the Fox News generation, the news nation
generation, all these TV stations that dictate to my peers what to think.
And thinking about it, it was like, how did this happen?
Well we grew up thinking TV was authoritative.
TV was the authority in any subject.
Right.
You know, Walter Cronkite says it.
Yeah.
Rather says it, it's gospel.
Right.
I heard it on the news.
How many time do parents say to us?
Right.
I heard it on the news.
Now, that doesn't just leave you.
You know, it's not like all of a sudden you get to be 65 years old and you stop thinking
everything you learn for the first 30, 40 years of your life.
So when you turn on Fox News or whatever, Newsmax,
if it's on the news,
it's right. And so they just believe it. Nobody questions it.
But that's also true of MSNBC. Well, yes, but they don't have the size of audience, you know, and I don't.
Well, but they have a very influential audience
because their audience is the media
and the people who...
Well, that's the difference.
See, the difference there is in terms of
influence is one thing, right?
But you would hope that media and somebody else
is not taking it as gospel.
Like, they're questioning it, they may watch it.
But there are people who are saying, you know,
this, this is right.
What, you know, what Bill Hemi or whoever on Fox says,
is accurate.
I mean, I hadn't done an MSNBC in a while,
but I did a Ramellber show a couple of weeks ago,
and I like him a lot.
I think he's a big talent who actually could do it
at a different kind of show.
Especially with all the hip hop references.
Well, not that kind of show, but I realized when I was on there for a long time, the things
that they cover, certainly not what I would have considered the most important stories
of the day, just the stories that most make their audience go, yes, exactly.
He's terrible. Oh, yes, exactly. He's terrible.
Oh, yes, good.
Something bad happened to him.
Great.
Oh, she's great.
I love her.
And yes, something good about her.
And it's like, okay, I mean,
I love that these things, it's not about like,
it's sort of like when a cop pulls you over for a taillight.
Like, cut a cop pull you over all the time
for anything and find something.
Yeah, they could.
It's what you choose to cover. It's not like these things didn't happen. It's what you it's your perspective.
And what you're trying to accomplish. And are you really trying to find the truth? You know, a lot of people send me things and you know a lot of times I just if I said something to them, it would just be like, I get it. You want me to see this.
I get it, you want me to see this, but when I check it out, it doesn't look like
it was sent by someone who really wants the truth.
It's just like your side, you want your side verified.
And then when I check it out, it's like, okay,
this thing wasn't wrong.
There was one study that said that,
you just didn't tell me about the eight studies
that said that.
That's not the difference, right?
Yeah, so this one study is real, yeah.
So you're not, you're not interested in the truth.
You're not interested in confirming what you already believe.
And I'm not interested in that.
Without question, right?
And social media, go on Twitter, which is another question for it.
But you want to have, you want to engage with somebody
who's going to challenge you intellectually, right?
You want some, I always call it, yeah.
I've called it, question people, that thing.
Stop. Opposite of, no, I call it, you know, checking my whole card, right? You want some I was yeah, I'm called question people that thing stuff opposite of well, but no I call you know checking my whole card right and
it's just like I want to know if I'm right and so I'll push it on on Twitter
just for the whole point is someone saying no you're fucked up right? But you
can't have it especially now you can't do that anymore and with television to
your point it's just about getting people fired up on their side. And, you know, how do you fix it?
You know, what comes next?
I don't know.
You're the fixed guy.
I mean, I don't know what, I mean, you got enough on your plate with this drug thing.
I think, by the way, I do think it's awesomely you're doing that.
Appreciate it.
I mean, you know, it's, you know, there were publicans used to say about rich people, you know, like we
shouldn't be punishing success.
And I agree with that.
I also agree that we need to, you know, tax, you know, intelligently and...
Yeah, I don't mind paying more taxes.
I don't either.
Well, I've said it's the most patriotic thing.
Not more.
Well, I mean...
But I'm paying the limit, right?
Yeah, but...
I mean, I pay more than half.
Yeah, so do I. No, no.
So, I feel like half is already a lot.
It's a lot, yeah.
And like, so like, I don't mind doing it
because I do think, I look at it philosophically,
I think being rich, no offense,
because you're very rich,
is like a little bit of a fluke
because you could have been born
in another time in history.
I'm like his mother fucker in the world.
I know.
You know? Tell jokes, you know what I'm called. mother fucker in the world. Right. And you know, you know.
Tell jokes, you know, I'm cold, whatever.
We could sit here and get fucked up, whatever works.
Right.
But so looking at it philosophically,
I don't feel like, oh, I'm old this because I'm,
no, it's a lucky thing.
So, okay, so I don't mind paying.
But just don't like give me the line
of the Bernie Sanders, you know, the rich don't pay anything.
Don't pay anything. I pay more than half.
I did my taxes. My federal taxes, I pay 38%. Just on federal taxes.
Right. Right. Not property tax. Right. Not everything else.
I got my California's 13. Yeah. So I'm already over 50.
And then there's, you know, you know, you know, lots of, you know,
my fishing and hunting license, I'm kidding.
You're rightful, yeah.
Yeah, well, rifle I do have.
Not a physical hunting license,
but, I mean, you live in Texas, you must have guns.
No, I don't.
No guns?
I hire people to have guns.
You hire people to have guns.
That's a ball or move, yeah.
You know, never, ever gets any respect.
Is that?
Henshmen.
Henshmen?
Yeah.
Like in movie.
What have you been smoking?
No, I've been smoking Henshmen.
Henshmen.
Like it, well, because you apparently have Henshmen.
No, I don't have Henshmen.
It sounds like you have Henshmen.
No, I have, you just said I hire people to have that.
Yeah, but there's only certain circumstances
that I do that, right?
Okay, no.
How many are we talking about?
73 knowledge. I watch all the time, black away. Look for the best henchmen. It's like the bad guy in his underground volcano where whatever bad guy is taking, he always
has henchmen. He always has. Because like the good guy has to kill like all the henchmen and then yeah and then it's to like the bad guys
no my god it's like he can't be like comes out
fire back you know now they have to like a hundred guys you know John
wick and people right right right right so you kill all the henchmen
and then you kill the bad guys main dude he's always got like a main
dude right right but and, you kill the bad guy.
Oh my God.
But no one feels bad for the punch man.
And I feel like it's just a job.
They're not really bad people.
No one cares when they get killed.
They're just getting a paycheck, right?
It's like they got a family.
It's like they,
Somebody's gonna take that job, right?
And the world needs handsmen.
And they're not cheap. No, handsmen are not cheap. Handsmen are not cheap. It's like they always gotta take that job, right? And then world needs henchmen. And they're not cheap.
No, henchmen are not cheap.
Hensmen are not cheap.
It's good work that I feel like they should unionize,
but no one feels bad when the henchmen get shot,
and I feel like that just shows what smucks people are.
Oh, my goodness.
I have no pathos for the henchmen.
Oh, none.
Do you smoke pot?
Not anymore, I don't know.
No, you used to? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What you smoke pot? Not anymore. No, you used to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What happened?
I just, one, I have a heart condition.
I have AFIP, so they told me, you know, none.
Really had pots bad for that?
Yeah.
Not sure.
No.
No, just enough for me.
I don't think I did none of that.
No, but I did.
I was never a big pot smoker though.
I mean, it was like in college.
Me neither.
Yeah.
Yeah. I didn't have a lot of limits back there,
but I wasn't a big pot smoker.
Yeah.
Let me tell you about when I quit.
Well, anyway, what were we talking about
before the henchmen?
Oh, you hired people with that.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just, yeah.
Well, you know what, maybe this is just my paranoia,
but a number of world leaders have been assassinated
by their own Praetorian guard in Dharagandhi on Warsadot.
It's gotta be especially, well, you know,
sort of depressing for you to realize that you're own people
with the ones who turned on you and you're like,
I don't have that many henchmen.
And I qualify my henchmen.
My henchmen, you just benefits.
Just make sure your henchmen don't turn on you.
My henchmen, I live like a normal life for the most part.
Yeah, yeah.
What kind of life do you live in?
I see you don't even have socks.
No, man, because I forgot.
You need some money, I can lend you some money. I literally worked out and then I had, oh shit, see you don't even have socks. No, man because I forgot
Really worked out and then I had oh shit all I got my
Yeah, cuz you know I know I'm not gonna count surfing these days. Yeah, you know you guys together
Don't you work you could be sleeping the same bed like the three stooges again blowing a feather
Blow a feather with your straw.
Blowing a feather with your straw.
Oh, there, squeeze over, squeeze box.
Oh.
Oh.
I love it.
Did you used to work the three stooges?
Oh my God, I saw them in person.
I saw them in the three stooges.
Yes.
And also, Apen Castello.
Yes.
So, and, and, Laura, it's so funny before the gay era.
But they used to introduce each other
like Append Castello as my partner.
And yet they were in no specific business.
No, oh my God, I used to have watched Mompot Kettle
and they had this one little bit where,
they all would get into the room and be like,
squeeze over, squeeze back.
So right, so with my brothers and I would do it
when we were growing up, I have two brothers in one bed.
And then with my kids, right,
we would all be sitting there watching a movie,
squeeze over, squeeze box.
We are brought to you by SignalWire.
SignalWire powers the future of cloud communications.
Built by the tech OGs, the original geeks
of software defined telecom,
their mission is to make it simple for you to build
whatever you can imagine using real-time voice video or text messaging. The OGs at Signal
Wire have spent decades solving the most complex and awkward problems in communications.
From broadcast quality video to ultra low latency voice and messaging, Signal Wire has the APIs
and SDKs to create unique and intelligent communications
experiences from within existing applications or websites or building a new app from scratch.
Join the millions of other customers like Amazon, Ring, and Home Depot who are using SignalWire
technology to build the communications experiences of the future. And in the spirit of a holiday season, SignoWire wants to give you a gift. Visit SignoWire.com
slash random and claim a free t-shirt when you sign up for a demo.
Go to SignoWire.com slash random and claim your free t-shirt.
Go to SignoWire.com slash random.
So are your kids in sufferably woke?
No, no. Oh, fuck no.
Because you live in Dallas?
No, it's not even that.
I think, you know, the 13, 16, and 19, and, you know, my oldest is, you know,
adamantly pro-choice, but we don't talk a lot of politics in our house.
I mean, we don't, I don't try to push anything on them.
I want them to think.
Because all my friends, at least the ones like on the coasts, who are like our age,
and they have kids who are usually like on the coasts, who are like our age, and they have kids
who are usually like in their 20s and something like that.
And they all bitch endlessly about their fucking woke kids.
And these are liberal people.
These are not people who are voting for Trump.
You know, in a social media era, everybody has to virtue signal in their own way, right? By the clothes you wear or don't wear, by the places you go, by the people you're associated
with, because every single person, particularly if you're 13 to 25, you're a brand, you know,
and you meet your social media.
I mean, we see it in the NBA.
These kids come in, you know, with a million followers and they know what to wear, what not to wear.
And so when my daughter is on TikTok or either my daughter is on TikTok or my son, there's
a way to do it.
And you don't have to necessarily be political, but you're sending messages.
Well, I mean, it is a whole different ballgame owning a team, managing a team, coaching a team
in this day and age with the kind of kids coming
up and how they were raised and so forth.
It's, I'm sure, I mean, I'm kind of pulling this out of my ass and you can correct me if
I'm run, but I think I've read this and heard this and talked to people who said that,
I mean, the coach, it just can't be that old school.
No, it's changed.
180 degrees.
Do it my way and give me 20
No, fuck you're just push up these guys, right? They just don't stand for it
It's not even that they want to be coached right but they they have you have to connect to them right connecting to a 20 year old today
You have to recognize who they are because they've told the world who they are in their social media right and if you don't know then
You're not being coach, right? You're not going to be able to have a...
But what is that in town knowing you from me?
To who they are.
Yeah, looking like I follow all my guys on social media.
So you know their taste.
Yeah, you know what they want.
And look, they're not what they do in their DMs is a whole lot different than what they
show publicly, but just getting a sense for who they are
and what they're into, it's a lot easier today than it used to.
What are they into in their DMs?
I'm more interested in that.
Oh, just women.
Yeah, just women.
Oh my God, you know, I'm sure are you on social media?
No.
No, yeah, I don't remember seeing you.
But I'm just telling you, at my age,
I get some freaky shit from women.
And I can't even imagine what these young,
you know, good looking guys making a lot of money.
And just the stories they tell me are just insane.
So how do you see the freaky shit?
Oh, because they just send it to me in my DMs.
Oh, you're hot.
Yeah, right, I'm rich.
So, wait.
But, okay, I don't even understand, I guess.
I thought you had to like, know someone
to have the recognition.
No, no, no.
So the way it went, anybody can direct with it. So you just follow me and, right, to have the recognition. No, no, no, no. So the way it went,
or anybody can direct me.
So you just follow me and write, I have mine open,
so that if you follow me and you want to send me a message,
99.
No, I should, you know,
every year I make it a New Year's resolution
to get into social media and then I don't do it.
And like, so whenever I know about it,
just makes me go,
God, what a fucking waste of time.
And what a minefield.
Don't you feel like it's a minefield of potential?
Oh, yeah.
Well then, but I guess you have to do it for business, right?
I have to do it for business as a platform to promote.
It is.
But it's also a way to learn, right?
Because every year, you're right.
You're right.
It tells you who they are.
You're right.
You know, and you see, I'm just telling you,
for as fucked up as TikTok is,
it is the best parental tool in the world.
Right.
Because all I have to do, because you know, the way TikTok works, it's not about who you
follow, it's about that, and artificial intelligence that, you know, based off of what you watch
it sends you more of it, right?
So if I want to know what my kids are into, I just look at their TikTok feed.
Right.
And it's like, you know, you and I, when we are growing up, you're like, yeah, dad, yeah,
mom, whatever, whatever.
Right.
And our parents had no idea.
None. Now, it's mom, whatever, whatever. Or parents said, no idea. None.
Now it's really easy to figure out.
I mean, I talk to people in their 20s.
You know, I'm not married.
Just leaving it there.
I'll drink to that too.
I never have.
So like, I'm endlessly fascinated.
But I need to hear it from the horse's mouth.
You know, I'm just not a social,
I just, the first of all, I just think.
You would get laid a thousand times more
if you were on social media.
I don't care.
Okay.
Well, you would have interesting conversations
a thousand times more.
And, you know what?
But people, first of all, I don't trust anything
that's in the cloud.
Like, I just don't, I'm not interested, first of all. I just don't want
to put my shit out there. You need to control it. I don't think.
What people say about you, they're going to say anyways. When people are going to give
you shit, that's irrelevant. I've seen too many people embarrassed.
If you do something stupid, right? It's if you just... You know, it just embarrassing to...
It's like seeing a celebrity on the subway.
It's like, what the fuck are you doing here?
You would take the subway.
You would take the subway?
I don't want to be...
No, subway.
Yes, what?
Yes!
With the rats and bunching on the trucks.
Why the fuck are you doing that?
No, the truck's not so much.
What would you do?
Yes.
You a billionaire would take the subway? Yeah, you put a hat on, you know, just nice to people. What a hat on? Yeah, not so much. What would you do? Yes. You a billionaire would take this up way?
Yeah, you put a hat on, you know, you're just nice to people.
But a hat on?
Yeah, it's easy.
Well, good, you do you.
Me, I'm like, I don't have your kind of money,
so like whatever money I do have,
I think of money as like cushions.
Like when I started out, I had no cushions.
My ass was right on the cold heart.
I'm right there with you, I was right there with you.
I was right there with you.
And you know what it feels like.
And then like at a certain point in my 20s,
I feel like, oh, I have one cushion.
Yeah.
It's not the greatest, but it's a cushion.
It's a cushion.
Like, you know, I'm sitting on something.
One cheek is something.
I'm taking care of it.
Right. And then I got two and three.
And you know, now I got, you know.
All the cushions you need.
Yeah, I'm just like lying on a...
I got salt in, I don't have a bunch of fucking pillows
and cushions, so I forget what that was all about.
But for some reason it was very important, right?
To explain that I have cushions.
I'm just telling social media, if you know how to use it
and you have a little bit of control, right?
No, you're so right.
It's fun.
I totally agree with you.
Like when I get these negative pictures,
I can't respond to them, right?
I won't respond to them.
Make it picture.
Yes, but it's insane.
You know, these 20 something year old women,
and a couple times men, it's just like,
it's just like, oh, you're hot.
Oh, I think you're so stashable.
But, okay.
And you're ignored, but it's fun to get on.
Okay.
So, you're talking about, you're saying the reason why I don't want to do this.
You're saying you can't trust these people.
You don't think they're sincere.
No.
And there's no way you can evaluate sincerity over the phone with just pictures and text.
Of course not.
It's designed to be opaque.
So why would I want to enter into that?
Because it's entertaining.
You're right.
I should.
No, I'm not.
I'm not really like that.
You don't have to, like, you don't have to, like, oh, wife potential number one.
No, I like you don't have to like you don't have to like oh wife potential never like you know
It's I never defend the things about me that I feel are deficient. I want to better them. Yeah, I want to do the same
I'm not the same way. I'm the same way. Yeah, I really do like we were talking before about like I love to say
I don't know because then I learn something. Yes, okay to be curious and I don't want to be like no
I do everything great.
No, I do this horribly, and I wanna be better.
Yes, yes, yes, I mean, because just,
that's what keeps you going, right?
Just that curiosity about life.
That's what gets me all jazz stuff, right?
Because, you know, and then sounds corny and cheesy
and everything.
Maybe you'll mentor me on social media.
No, oh, on social media?
Yeah, for sure.
Really?
Yeah, for sure. Really?
Yeah, for sure.
I'll take a day out and mentor me.
It'll take about 16 minutes, and that's about it.
It's really, it's not that tough, you know?
You're so right, it's just willpower.
It's just afraid of it, and like, again, I feel like it's a bunch of phony, doobstab.
You stand up and do comedy in front of people that you don't know, and you literally
open up yourself to
that.
They know me.
Yeah, but still they bought a ticket, they know me and they're coming to have a good time
and they right.
And they social media is the same way.
No one's going to DM you or reply to you because they don't know you.
Hey, and it's funny as fuck when I get those, right?
You know, I never knew who you were, but you look really interesting.
Really?
Yes, and it's bullshit, obviously.
So you just read it for amusement,
but you certainly with all your resilience of followers,
you can't possibly read all of them.
No, no, no.
But it's really easy.
So you just sample them?
Yeah, and it's really easy.
Like you can tell sometimes if it's a kid
and they have a question about something,
then it's really nice to respond, you know?
Kids around it?
Yeah, like little kids.
Yeah, 13 and old, 15, 16, 18 year old. But you know, it, like little kids. Yeah, you know 13 and old 15 16 18 year old
But you know, it's like you get questions about being in media or doing comedy right how'd you get started and
I you know most of the time it's hard to like deal with everybody to respond to those
But it feels good every now and then hey, I'm looking at starting a business. You help me. I always tell kids the same thing
I got started the old fashioned
Giving blow jobs under a bridge.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
And you should too, kids.
Don't be too proud to blow people under a bridge.
Jesus, these kids today.
They won't do what they need to do.
So, I know.
Right, won't do what they need to do.
No.
Well, funny.
So, I was something I wanted to ask you,
as you can tell, this is like zero agenda show.
No, I love it.
I love it, right?
It's not great.
Yes, I mean, notice I'm cracking up half the show.
I know, that's what I said.
I, you know, there was a million podcasts,
and I said, yeah, but there's a big hole for one
that's like not looking like a shot in the day, you know, with big penis microphones and
funny or funny, you know what I mean? I know exactly. It's like, it's a little like, can't
we just be like, I really am off camera? Like imagine if political debates, you had to
take a shot between every question.
Right?
You know, you get the truth.
Nobody else here, but the cameras are built into the walls.
We're just two guys.
And that's like, rock and roll.
You're a guy I always wanted to know.
Well, I appreciate that.
And like, it's so a little sad that people like us, we only really get to know each other when we work together.
Yeah, it's true.
It's really true.
Our work is so, you know, I've said to people before,
like I never married, obviously, at Hight Kids.
My show is my kid.
Yeah.
So, that's not a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing.
No.
And, you know, we're so fucking lucky because we get to...
This shows my mistress.
We get to make our own choices.
People are like, what is the best part about being rich?
Freedom.
Freedom, right?
Money is another word for freedom.
Time.
I get to control my time.
When I was poor, I did not even have the freedom
to eat what I wanted.
And many poor people don't.
I used to go to the grocery store at midnight
because they lowered the price of chicken
and these big french fries right to a buck 29
That's a great story. And I would buy a bunch of them. I was thinking
I was I would walk down and we'd have my friends and it'd be like okay
Stay in there and I take the cheese whiz open the top. Oh
My god, yeah, just don't try to add I when I was at Cornell
Oh my god. Yeah, just dumps like that.
When I was at Cornell, the Cornell bookstore where you bought all, you know, was used text
books.
That's how college works.
But they also had like just tons of books and they had a system where they were tables
with books.
What was on the tables on Monday cost a dollar and it would go down every day.
So that by Friday it was 10 cents
if the book was still there on Friday.
I would go in on Monday.
Hide the book.
Many books, many books.
Notice I knew exactly,
you know how I got my first car in Dallas?
The way I got my first car in Dallas,
I had, when I drove from Indiana to Dallas,
I had hauled my floorboard, right?
So I knew it was- Obama had that. He told the story in 60 minutes. There was a hole.
Yeah, I could see the line. Michelle goes, yeah, remember we could see the road.
It was, you know, I had to put in oil every 60 miles, whatever.
And so that car was dead. And so I was driving around with my buddies and I was
used, I had credit cards cut up. I had, you know, bill collectors and I saw a car on the side of the road
and it wasn't fucked up.
I told my buddies to stop.
Stop, right?
Because I knew from my own personal experience
that someone had abandoned that
because they couldn't make the payment.
So I sunblocked and right on the,
I'll never forget right on the seat,
there was a little envelope that was a little bit thick,
right, meaning there was loan papers in there.
I called the bank the next day and I said, I found this car for you because I know you
were looking for it.
Can I take over the payments?
And they said, since you got it for us, yes.
And that's how I got my first job.
I said that would never happen today.
It would be jacked.
No, but because you'd never get a human on the phone.
Well, that's true, true.
Yeah, that's true, too.
But I called right to the bank.
Yeah.
You never get a human who could like actually make a decision. Yeah, it's true too. But I called right to the bank. You never get a human who could like actually make that decision.
Yeah, it's true.
And we seem to go to this, everything is moving toward this unhuman place.
You know, we're dating is just by, you can't date that way.
You have to look in someone's eyes.
You have to feel their presence.
You know, you can't do it over an app.
Yeah, I'm outside the app range, right?
Because, you know, being married and everything, but...
What?
My wife is hot, so I like to fuck my wife, so I'm good there.
Hey, yeah, what's your name?
Hey!
But, yeah, I mean, but that's your social media thing, right?
You've got to just connect to that.
I'd say, I like online.
I really, really do, because it gives you access
to every such and every...
No, never such an end.
I mean, this is where the world has moved.
You have such an advantage if you have such an advantage,
like over me, not that we're in competition.
Right.
We're like in the Godfather.
Your business doesn't conflict with mine.
So go ahead, get into heroin.
Get into heroin.
I don't give a fuck. I'm the Godfather. But no, our business don't conflict with mine. So go ahead, get into heroin. Get into heroin, I don't give a fuck, I'm the Godfather.
But no, our business don't conflict,
but you have such an advantage
because you naturally acclimated to this.
And we're basically the same age, right?
You nut, but some people do.
And some people don't.
I'm into you shit, right?
If you can.
But funny thing is I am too.
Even more than almost everybody,
I know because I never got married,
because I never had kids.
You know, I never got stuck in like the,
okay, I'm now the past paradigm.
Like, I'm not young, but I'm also the latest version of me.
Which is cool as fuck, right?
And I never really changed my life.
But that brings up another question, right?
You know, we're at that age where in your mind,
you're like, okay, am I supposed to act my age, right? What is acting my age? And I fight that shit. I fight my friend
has a great saying. It's actually quoting somebody I forget who don't let the old man in.
100%. Yeah. And it's so easy not to. Well, I mean, not easy. You have to like work at it
to a degree, but it's so easy to fall in it,
like because everybody expects you to, right?
How you dress, where you go, what you do,
what you drink, what you look like.
Exactly.
How you do your hair, what clothes.
What you wear.
The one thing you can't control is how you look.
You're going to age.
Well, people in Beverly Hills will tell you different.
But the other time is undefeated.
The difference between how people took care of themselves.
The way it shows up at people who are...
Now, you could take care of yourself horribly in your mid-30s.
You probably don't look that different than somebody else in their mid-30s.
At our age, it can be...
Normus.
I mean, they're people who can't walk.
No, it's crazy, right? And they're decrepit. And so they... Now. Who can't walk? No, it's crazy, right?
They're decrepit.
And so they, they're the,
Now we have friends who are dying and it's fucking serious.
And dead people.
Fuck, right?
Because you get the sense of your own mortality,
not to get more bit in all this,
but it's just like,
When people die, you feel bad for their families.
And look, I'm not people who are saying,
well, it's easy for you to, yes, you're right.
It is easier to be healthy and live longer
when you're doing well, absolutely,
not just materially well, but feeling good about yourself,
which materially well is part of, yes,
but it's not the main thing, but it's just like,
it's not the money itself, although that's good too.
But it's the mindset.
Yes, it's like, you don't have to be rich to fucking just say,
let's go out and dance.
Right, right, or just, you know what,
it's great to listen to 70 music,
but I'm gonna put on Taylor Swift,
because I wanna know what the fuck this is.
You go to the subway.
You're right, I think,
because I wanna-
I don't know why I'm doing it.
When I go to New York,
I will, you know,
I stay up right around Columbus Circle.
I'll walk right down to the alphabet street,
straight shot and just walk around.
Well, walking in New York, I agree.
That's beautiful.
Okay, but the subway- I don't mind, I agree. That's beautiful. Okay.
But the subway.
I don't mind.
I don't mind.
Did you ever see the taking a pill in one two three?
Yes.
I saw the original motherfucker.
I just went again.
It's fantastic.
Oh, that was fucking crazy.
You know, put aside, wait, whoever,
it was John Travolta or whoever.
That was the remake.
Yeah, that was okay.
But it was the original.
I saw it in a theater, right?
You're right.
Yeah.
Oh, that was a colossus. Robert Shaw. out. Yes. Oh, that was a classic.
Robert Shaw.
Yes.
Straight from Jaws.
That was a classic.
I saw it with my dad.
Yes, it was a classic.
Yes, it was a classic.
You remember the ending, the sneeze?
No, I don't.
The bit of all spoiler alert, because none of you kids are going to watch this, but you
should.
It's awesome.
The four guys hijack a train. Martin Balsam the whole time.
He's one of the hijackers.
He's on the radio.
Yeah.
Because in tight says Walter Moutho who works with the subway.
He's the subway cop.
So he knows he's got a cold, you know.
And then they go at the end of the movie.
They catch the guys.
One guy gets away.
They don't know who it is.
They're checking all the people who used to work for the subway system.
And he goes to Martin Balson's apartment.
He interviews them and, okay, we can't do anything.
It's probably not you.
They live, and he sneezes.
Bam!
And then the last shot, and says Walter Rattham.
Bam!
It's head through the door.
See, okay, that brings up another point, right?
It's just awesome.
Because you can't fall into that trap while it was great
back then and it sucks now.
Now this one is good.
This one's good.
No, that was a great movie.
But you know what I'm saying, man. Like movies do not hold up. But it's not even then and it sucks now. Now this one is good. This one's great. But you know what I'm saying?
Many movies do not hold up.
But it's not even about the movies holding up.
It's just us and personally how people approach aging, right?
And if you get into that mindset,
what was great back then and it sucks now, you're fucked.
But you know what, never changes in movies.
What's that?
Hedge mint.
It's not always.
Tension mint, yeah.
They're all just fucking killing him.
Always killing your kill.
Nobody gives a shit.
Oh, I remember.
What?
There was, like, I was saying before,
obviously this is not a show I put any thought into,
which is the way I want to do it, because this is not...
Because again, I wanted to do something that was exactly like my life.
Who puts thought into like, Oh, for the human for dinner? which is where I want to do it. Because this is not, because again, I wanted to do something that was exactly like my life.
Who puts thought into like,
oh, we're not gonna meet Mark Cuban for dinner.
Why don't I take notes?
But there is one thing,
but I might say to myself,
there's one thing I really wanna ask him about,
which is Bitcoin,
because I've been very anti-Bitcoin,
and I don't think you are,
and then Luis can recently,
which is a Bitcoin-
It's everything's getting fucked,
and I must tell you, I'm rooting against Bitcoin.
And that's okay.
No, that's okay.
I'm not even more now.
No, that's okay, right?
I know you.
I'm rooting against Bitcoin.
I want Bitcoin to go down a lot further
so I can buy some more, right?
Wow.
Because if you ever buy gold, what do you think about gold?
What do you think about gold?
I think it's good.
I think it's good when you're trying to get late.
But no, not when you're wearing gold.
Come on baby.
No.
Like would you buy gold as an investment?
I've gold.
Everybody likes to.
You know what, if you have gold, you're dumb as fuck.
Well, I mean, it never, it's a small part.
It's like a hedge against everything else.
It's a hedge made against everything, but yes, it is.
It's in what I be called.
But it's not a hedge.
No, but it's not a head against anything, right?
What it is is a store value, and you don't own the physical goal, do you?
No, no, of course.
Well, I know who the fuck knows.
What I know is that it never goes away.
It's always worth something.
You can always sell it.
Just Bitcoin.
Bitcoin gold is a store value.
And so is Bitcoin.
That's not that that is an apt analogy.
Because you don't hold the gold.
But the world is not run by gold. No, it's not. It's not that's that is an apt analogy because you don't hold the gold but gold but the world is not run by
gold no it's not it's not run by bitcoin
either it's it's it's but it's yet you're I mean
I can't deny that it's it's it's about it is
based on actually mining something which is
crazily that's why we got off the gold
standard because it's crazy to hook a
currency to what you can find in the ground.
But you and your ownership, you don't own the gold bar.
And if everything went the hell in the hand basket,
you had a gold bar, you know what would happen?
Someone beat the fuck out of you or kill you
and take your gold bar.
And then they can use the bar to hit me.
And it's somebody and that's it.
You got to shave a little piece of gold
so someone waves away.
Well, I mean, look, the idea that currency is a state of mind,
this is in, by the way, you ball Harari's great book,
Sapience about humans are different than apes
because humans can organize in great numbers
just about an idea.
Now, the idea could be, we gotta go kill everybody who
is in a Christian, or we gotta go kill everybody who isn't a Christian, or we got to go kill
everybody who isn't a Muslim.
Those ideas, bad ideas.
But like the idea that money is an idea, it's not wrong.
No, it's right.
But we tie our money to, I mean, Apple makes something.
A phone is something real that you're dropping the toilet.
You really need gold jewelry.
The world that gold jewelry is.
No, but you're going to have to go. No, but the point of the economy is iPhone, which is a real that you're dropping the toil. You really need gold jewelry. The world that gold jewelry is. No, but your goal is with gold.
Most of the economy is not gold.
No, but the point of the economy is iPhone,
which is a real thing with real value.
But we're talking about it.
And it's been valued at a thousand dollars.
But we're talking about it.
We're talking about Bitcoin.
And Bitcoin.
It's just pegged to nothing, which is neither is gold really, right?
Again, gold, if gold was controlling our economy right now,
I would say you have a good argument.
Gold is not. We got off gold in the third century.
No, that's making my point, though, Bill. You're making my point. When you own gold,
all you own is a digital transaction. Which is why we're not mostly in gold.
And that's fine, right? I'm mostly a Bitcoin, right? It's just something that I own.
Okay.
But it's just, it's just digital transaction
and it's a store value.
That's the term for it, a store value.
So people perceive that there's value associated with gold
and there's value associated with Bitcoin.
And Warren Buffett said,
it's just really about having something
that you can sell to somebody else
that has absolutely no value.
And then it's their problem.
So it is, but that's the fair stock in like 90% of the companies out there, right? you can sell to somebody else that has absolutely no value and then it's their problem.
So it is-
But that's the share stock in like 90% of the companies out there, right?
You think that?
Yes, yes.
You know, I can go on for days about this shit, but look, when it comes down to crypto-
You think most companies are shit?
It's not that the price of a share stock that doesn't pay a dividend is worth what somebody
will pay for it.
That's it.
Do you have a big hit with that shark tank thing though?
Yeah.
It's 14 years.
14 years?
14 years.
13 for me.
Oh my God.
It's insane, isn't it?
All right.
I know you're not the guy who wants to come and just have drinks with a friend and
he has this.
I do.
Let's get on top.
I'm just going to put it out there.
Sound proof underwear.
Okay.
So, Bitcoin I think is a good investment.
Soundproof underwear, not so much.
And I'm not telling people,
I'm not saying to tell people to buy a Bitcoin.
I think I who fart a lot.
You smell, you tell it, you know.
Think about the guy.
Well, but if it's soundproof, you can't prove it.
That destroys the whole purpose of a fart.
I'm just saying, I'm just thinking about it.
I'm just saying, think about it.
Do you like that?
I hate to be that guy at the party.
He was like, oh, Mark Cuban.
I'm gonna pitch him my genius idea.
Soundproof underwear?
No.
I guess I am.
No, yeah, it's gonna take a lot more alcohol for that to be good.
Well, I'm glad you drink.
I'm sorry you don't smoke, but I'm not sorry.
I mean, it's personal.
No, it is.
Yeah, it's personal choice.
I mean, I probably should quit, but I can't think of a good reason why.
Be you, right?
Whatever.
Yeah, I need it for everything I do that I value.
I don't give a fuck.
I need it.
Be you.
No, I know. I mean, it's probably. I need it. It'd be you. No, I know.
I mean, it's probably not great for my lungs, but, you know, I'm not obsessive with it.
I save it for when I'm wanting to really have a good time.
I'm very circumspect.
I feel like you're probably the same way.
Your life is too good.
You don't want to fuck it up.
Isn't that the scariest thing of everything?
Right?
It's like something's got to go wrong.
Of course.
Yeah, it's just like,
and in real life, no one dies healthy, right?
But it's like,
you shouldn't know that.
It's great.
No one dies healthy.
Exactly.
It's so simple, but so true.
So true, yeah.
But it's like when things go so well,
it's like, what the fuck?
Something's got to happen.
Yeah.
Did you obviously broadcast news?
Yeah, of course.
Remember that movie?
And William Hurd is the news anchor
and he has that great line.
He says, you know, what do you do
when everything is dreamed of comes out better
than your expectations?
And Albert Brooks is like, keep it to yourself.
That in the next day.
You know, I'm jealous of you
because you remember movie lines.
I wish I could. I don't remember that shit at all. I can do like, I'm going with the wind.
Oh my god. Godfather. That's insane.
They've been looking to impressions. I actually, you have to do the impressions for the movies.
But um, see to me, that's a talent that I wish I had. Well, yeah, I mean, your talent did pretty well for you.
But that's not the point.
Like you said, you know, I know, but like we all look, there's a,
there's a, a smorgasbord of things out there that would be at the entages,
you know, as they're making you up in heaven, win, quink, you know,
they're, you get this one and this one and this one and know, you get this one and this one and this one,
you don't get this one and this one and this one,
what I have liked to be six foot two, I would,
but God fucked up and made me five eight.
You know?
Like there's a lot of things that,
but like in general,
the ones that I did get worked out very well
as they did for you.
So you know, you would not go back and pick a different.
No, I hell no.
It's like you get that question right,
which I hate.
The one question I always say,
what would you do differently under 20s?
And I always tell people the same thing.
Absolutely fucking nothing, right?
It turned out perfectly.
Not 20s?
No, you know how people have to do everything different.
I wouldn't.
You're 20s?
No, fuck no.
Really?
Oh, I had a great time.
You must have, I didn't. Oh, I
would be much smarter than me because I don't shit left and right. Oh, but why would we
do it again? Because it was dumb and fun. Yeah, he was like, give the fuck your mind.
Mine was more dumb and painful. Yeah, it wasn't so much painful. I did don't dumb shit. Yeah,
dumb shit. But were you popular with girls when you were young? When I was young?
No, when I was like my high school age.
Well, high school college early, early.
So I started the blossom.
Wasn't that painful then?
Well, when I got to high school, yeah.
I mean, literally, I was, I'm six to now.
I was probably five, 10.
You're six to?
Yeah, probably six to and a half.
Yeah, you know, but I was probably five, 10 and a half
up until I was 18 and I would wait
more than I do now.
And I had glasses.
This was pre-contacts and my parents didn't have a lot.
So literally I was playing baseball one day and running after a ball, bike came this way,
smacked me in the mouth and I had to get caps on these two teeth.
Only my parents can only afford stainless steel caps.
So imagine being 16, 17, and 18 years old.
And every time you smiled,
these two teeth were stainless steel.
Wow.
It was brutal.
Nowadays, it would be great.
Yeah, you'd be cool, right?
It would be a grill.
You know what, I've been selling them.
Check out your grill tubes.
Yeah!
On your back, you'll be a head with your teeth.
No shit, right?
Like most of the guys on the...
But I blossomed right, and so all of a sudden,
you know, I had cute girls interested in me
and I was like, fuck, let's go.
So who's your big guy now?
Obviously, it's mostly Luke and Don Chish.
Yes.
He's the real deal.
Yeah, that was smart.
Did you lock him up for a long time now?
Yeah, yeah, five years.
Five years, yeah, that's good.
That's as long as we can lock him up, yeah.
Well, also like it's a young man's game,
not that he's gonna be bad at 28.
No, he's 23 now.
Right, he's gonna be still, you know,
he's gonna be great for 10 years, at least.
But, yeah, you need a leading man.
You need a star, right?
The hard part starts.
The hard part starts. You need a front man for the band. Absolutely, right? The hard part starts. No leading man, you need a front man for the band.
Absolutely.
The hard part is getting the right band members
around them so that you compliment the start.
So you can win a championship, right?
So it took time for Steph Curry
to get the right people around him.
Right.
The hard part for me.
Michael Jordan.
Yeah, it took Michael Jordan eight years
to win a championship.
Oh, yeah.
So you feel like you have the...
I think we're there.
We need one or two more pieces, but we have a path to get there.
Yeah.
I think we, I mean, we have a shot.
We can't really close last year.
We have a better team this year, but the whole league is better.
And what?
And we don't have to talk about basketball.
I'd rather talk about alcohol.
I'd rather talk about whatever else you want to talk about.
I swear to God.
The idea that I have any agenda about. I swear you're right.
The idea that I have any agenda about,
I don't know why that came up.
I don't know.
But it does interest me.
I mean basketball does, I'm in basketball fan.
Good.
Okay, and then we can talk basketball.
We're not, I don't care.
I mean, I also don't care.
But I do love, I mean, like I don't care. But I do love, I mean, like, I don't watch during the season,
because it's like, you know, I feel like sports in general
is too important to people, especially American men,
too important to be though.
You know, when I see people, not, I believe me,
I'm one of them.
Again, I bought into a team.
Yeah, I literally bought them.
And it's baseball ball team.
And, well, it was the New York franchise.
How about this?
How about this?
Everybody told me not to do it.
And talking about my money people, even.
And I said, this is sports.
It always goes up.
This is, and also this is not,
I knew what the whole, this is not Kansas setting. Oh, I know it's New York. I would look at that. New
franchise. New York. Why didn't everybody else do this? This is the baseball franchise
in the National League of New York. They're not making any more of them. This is the last
one. No. And it was valid at 700 million. And crazy. Look at it now, you know? Well, I mean, like we talked about timing, right?
Sometimes, you know, shit happens.
But I just feel like sports in general
occupies too much of people's psychic energy
and they know more about sports
and they do about things.
But you always changing so much.
And I get to see it with my kids, right?
I don't a fucking team.
What is changing?
Just how kids perceive sports and connect to sports.
Like, my kids are more interested in the players
and the team.
Like when we grew up, our family sat and watched a game, right?
Your dad was there watching Saturday afternoon baseball.
We all watch baseball.
Football on Sundays.
My dad was screaming at the TV,
stealing his games, right? Go, the TV for Steelers games, right?
Go, go!
I'll never forget, right?
That's not what kids do now, right?
Unless it's on their fantasy team.
Like my son will yell at the TV for his fantasy team.
I'll show it to all individuals.
It's all individuals.
Yeah, there's like their Luca Doncic fans,
there's stuff Curry fans, they're not team fans like they are.
Not that the nobody is.
That's interesting.
We got die hard Mavericks fans that I loved death, right?
Right.
Love the death because they're their screaming and chanting and yelling, defense, defense,
defense, but just kids in general, because think about just television.
What happened in media, right?
So that most people can't afford old school television.
You can't afford direct TV or whatever.
So like the guy, I think you lost a guy to my nicks.
Yeah, Jalen Brunson.
Okay, who was good, right?
Yeah.
So the people who are following him and are his individual fans.
Are gonna follow him wherever he goes.
Much more than that.
It's not like good riddance, you know,
other than Mavericks is more like,
Hey, we're still, you know, J.B., I follow you on social media. So interesting. So different. So interesting. My son is like, he'll never
hurt anybody talk about it. That is really interesting. And it's like every not positive. I don't feel
like it's much more like it's all in our silos and our divisive. It's heartbreaking because the one
thing, one thing that kept families together in a lot of respects that was really unifying was sports.
You know, it's just like when everybody was just disagreeing on everything and then the
Olympics came along.
I was just hoping that there would be an underdog American team that just went on a run
because that would bring us all together and that didn't happen, right?
Because during the Olympics, when it's us against the world like 1980 with hockey and whatever, right, where it's an upset, everybody comes together and puts aside
everything else. But you know what, it's still sports though, even with the changes because of social
media when the team wins. When you win, everybody loves a winner. Right, plus think about it, right?
If the Metz had won, this year, then what kind of parade's
going to happen?
There is no other business where they throw a,
when Apple sells a zillion of those products in
Cupertino, they ain't throwing a parade, right?
When the Metz win, when the Maps won a championship,
the parade, and there's hundreds of thousands of people,
even when it's 100 degrees outside, the city's on fire.
The city is like the high school, and the team is like the high school team.
And then everybody loves life.
Right.
And the team what?
That feeling there's nothing like.
There's no other industry where like, I'll get an email.
My son has cancer.
Can I get, you know, can I get a sign Jersey from Luca?
Where my son got, you know, died and we want to bury him in a Jersey.
Can you get Luca to sign it?
That doesn't happen anywhere else.
No.
And so there is that emotional connection still,
but it's different.
So then you pay them to sign it?
I don't pay them to sign it.
They're good people though.
These kids are good.
I'm fucking with you.
Fuck you.
Well, come on.
It's like you said, it's a business.
No, I'm sure they're good people
I mean, they're really are because their brand is now they can't be fucked up people
Right it's harder because everybody knows they're fucked up right
We think about this kind of earring thing or is that too political for you? No, it's not at all. I mean look
What he says is that does that right are you with you? Yeah, I'm Jewish yet
Yeah, I'm a year yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I'm a year, right?
I didn't mean to say it like a Gestapo.
Or just don't say the Jews, right?
Are you with you?
Yeah, just don't say, are you one of the Jews, right?
Yeah, I'm a year.
We will see you in the prefix office
till on the morning at 10 a.m.
Let us call it a request.
Yeah, no, I'm Jewish.
And so we both dealt with the American.
I think American, or so.
We're just gonna Wikipedia, yeah.
But it doesn't matter.
I mean, you know, they like you.
I mean, if you're on the air and I've been on 29 years,
if you're on 13 years, they like you.
Yes, something's going right.
They like you.
Something's going right.
People just don't watch what they don't like.
No, not really.
I mean, look, the average age on television keeps on getting older,
but people keep on coming back.
And I love the show because kids watch it.
We're like the number one or number two show
watched by families together.
Is that right?
Yeah.
And that's what's special.
Because now we got people coming on Pitch and Esteeles
that started watching us when they were 12, 13, 14 years old.
I've heard it compared to Trump in that, like, oh, he's a billionaire businessman.
He's on a show on TV that advertises, wait,
I'm just saying what I've heard,
what the advertiser...
It's from the Trump himself.
What a smart businessman.
No, no, it's not a crazy analogy.
So, let me tell you.
America did get used to Donald Trump.
So Trump did get used to Donald Trump as like a
Businessman who's like smart and make smart decisions in the boardroom
If you only had that in the
So I'm at the White House for a health care thing.
And Trump, I didn't expect it, but he's like, oh, come on into the West Wing right now.
Just, you know, because I've been shitting on him the whole time and he didn't care.
And he's talking and he's talking nonsense about a lot of different things, you know, 10%
legit and 90% nonsense.
And I'm getting ready to leave and, you know, I'm standing up, he goes, that's a good looking suit you got on there.
I'm like, thanks.
He goes, are you still on that show, Shark Tank?
I'm like, yeah, he goes, Baron loves that show.
He watches it all the time.
I'm like, there you go.
Thank you very much, Tom Baron.
I said, thank you.
You liked him for a minute, didn't you?
Yeah, for sure, because I didn't think he was going to win.
So I thought I said literally when he announced,
it was the best thing that happened to politics because he's not a step for king. Well, I think the same thing is going to win. So I thought I said literally when he announced, it was the best thing that happened to politics
because he's not a step for king.
Well, I think the same thing is going to happen
with the unbid coin.
Anyway.
I don't know.
Shot fired.
No, no.
Well, anyway, I think you'd be a fabulous president.
I'd be awful.
Really?
Really? So bad. I have no patience for that bullshit. No, no, no, I know that you couldn't run. Like I'd be awful. Really? So bad.
I have no patience for that bullshit.
No, no, no, I know that.
You couldn't run like I couldn't run.
I also think I would be a fabulous president.
I think you would be too.
Yes, because, but it's what you have to do to get to the job.
It's like the rivers and the field of glass,
you have to call for.
Yes, and for your family, if it was just me,
fuck that, right?
I'm not a family. They'd hate it.
Yeah, she has to be adequate.
I mean, I, oh my God, I don't, I don't, right.
Every story, everything you've ever done,
every picture that's ever taken about you,
no, there's no fucking way.
So I am not even on it, not even.
But I'm telling you, I know you are.
I'll give you my 60 minutes.
Oh, no, no.
I definitely want to do this, but I I'm happy. I need a mentor.
I got you.
I do.
It's great that you can be 66 years old and admit you need a mentor.
I do.
But I'm not going to get someone like 32 who doesn't maybe 22.
Who doesn't really cute.
I've tried that a million times.
And we're looking forward to a million times.
I know, I think I need someone who knows how some are mine.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
Don't go there and say some of my age, right?
I need a peer.
I got you.
I need a peer.
It's not so long.
Because you know both sides.
You can do it.
You're native to it.
Or you act like you are.
No, I'm not.
And you both know.
We also know who I am.
Yeah, that's the guy from the 1960s.
You would have a blast.
You would have a blast.
Because you just use it however you want to use it.
You know what my other big complaint about social media is that it has supplanted reading.
And reading kids is a really good thing.
It's an actual book, and I just think of so many people,
especially anyone like under 40 who I would,
and some people who I do not think are stupid at all.
They're not stupid, they're intelligent people,
but I could not imagine them reading a book.
Okay, so two sides here, right?
I'm gonna take both sides, right?
Somebody 40 and over, even 30 and over. If you're not
reading, you're fucked. A book. A book, anything. A whole book. A whole book. All the way through.
All the way through. You're fucked, right? Fuck because. Because you're not expanding your mind. I
tell my kids. It doesn't always work. You know, somebody who doesn't read lives one life. Somebody
who reads lives an unlimited number of lives. But they don't read, they scroll. Well, scrolling is not reading.
So let me just tell you.
So here's what I learned.
My son, my 16 and 19 year old, we bribe them to read by saying,
okay, you read this book, or X number of page books,
and you get shoes or whatever you want.
So we bribe them.
And they do it.
And then we have conversations about the book, and I like that that's good. That's cool. Yeah. But my youngest, my 13 year
old son, he's like, I don't like to read. So I'm like, thinking to myself the same thing
you are, that's just wrong. It's going to hurt him long term. And one day he comes up
to me, he goes, Dad, why do you not do royalty deals? I'm like, you know about royalty?
He goes, yeah, Kevin does a much shark tank and you don't want it? I'm like, you know about royalties?
He goes, yeah, Kevin does a much shark tank
and you don't want it.
I'm like, because they use up a company's gross margin.
I'm like, do you know what gross margin is?
Yeah, I know what gross margin is.
And he's like 10 at the time.
I know what gross margin is.
It's a difference between what you sell it for
and what you buy it for, what's left over
is your gross margin.
I'm like, how do you know this?
Just tick-tock in YouTube?
Yeah.
That's how we learn.
And so the challenge isn't...
To get the right stuff on.
Right, it's the challenge.
Yeah, getting them to look at the right stuff.
But they consume a lot of information,
TED Talks or whatever, that are really informational.
So the challenge wasn't so much,
are they learning, right?
They are.
The challenge was me understanding how they learn.
And that was the hard part for me.
I think the challenge is also,
I mean, even if you can get them to look at something
like say from history,
because kids don't know history,
and it's a disaster.
Okay, so that's another topic, right?
So you got me rolling,
you know, give me a couple cocktails
and watch out.
Bam! So I have a rolling, you know, give me a couple cocktails and watch out. Bam.
So I have a conversation with my daughters, because if I only got two, but if I
mentioned which one should you get really pissed.
And there was a thing that came up on TikTok that I showed her.
It was one of these things where they go up to random people and they say, you
know, what year was the war of 1812, but yeah, I explained them on my show.
Yes. Exactly. You would think just dumber than a box of rocks, right?
I can't even.
But.
Not just can't.
I can't even.
But.
But.
When you carry around a phone 24-7.
Yes.
And you can search for anything.
You're an idiot.
You're not, though.
Well, you could be smart, but those...
But no, the question is,
the question is, what are you smart about? Okay, but those men on the streets proved, this
is what people, I mean, I've shown them. Some of the, some of the first question was, who
was the first man to walk on the sun? Wait, wait for it. Answer? Cause she did answer it.
Landstorms. Oh my God.
It's just like no, it's so many of these.
So well, how many states?
And what, like what city is France in?
You know, the, just,
Oh, how many states are there?
How many?
Beyond, way beyond that.
But, but okay, so maybe I'm an overly optimistic, right?
But the shit that is easy to find
with just one line in a search engine,
I can see not putting any brain cycles to that.
If you're using your brain for something else, right?
If you are learning other things,
because you can't, I never took chemistry in high school.
So if someone asked me about the periodic table,
I don't fucking know.
I took it and I've forgotten it, so we're even.
Yeah, so to somebody who's a chemistry teacher,
if you said, you know, what's the symbol for, you know, water, H2O, right?
You would think everybody knows, but if you can't see aluminum
and all the other things, your chemistry teacher thinks you're a moron.
Right. Gold is AU.
The one you're interested in.
Yeah, right.
Bitcoin is BTC.
Bitcoin is not on the periodic shape table. It's not on the periodic table. It's on an element.
Bitcoin, you think it's an element? I'm just talking about it. Oh good. I'll thank
I was just going to say like how much money can I get from this billionaire right now if I make him a bet?
If this fucking idiot thinks that Bitcoin
is in the periodic tape.
Oh my God.
Damn, I have to see my pants, little one.
I have to.
Oh, this is a gold, gold.
Oh, see?
It's so much fun to talk with you,
because it's not hard.
You've got to come back to Club Random.
Oh, please have me back, man.
This is the blast.
I knew I would like to.
Oh, this is so much fun.
I never had anybody here, I don't like.
Oh, man.
Because like this is not my job.
Again, my job, which I'm going to have to go back to shortly,
is writing real time with Bill Marr every week.
And it takes all my time and my effort.
It's hard, that's a hard show.
Those are my kids.
Yeah, that's a hard show to do.
It is a hard show to do.
And it's a once a week show on a premium channel.
I got, it's like a football game,
versus basketball or baseball,
which they play every night or every day.
Football's once a week, I'm once a week.
I gotta make it perfect, or it's perfect as I can.
Yeah.
So like when I asked them HBO if I could do this podcast,
I first said, like, I will not take one minute away
from what I really do.
Because tonight I'd be getting high anyway.
Taking a break.
Because why not?
I just would rather do it with you.
No, I really appreciate you having me.
Yeah, you have me.
This is the last, man.
This is just too, dude.
You're on this tune.
This tune, little, this tune, little in the dude, just fucking, I'm not doing this. This is too little, this too little in the world
of just sort of like, can we drop what we have to pretend?
To talk about henchmen.
Okay.
You know, but you know what I mean?
Like, everyone has to pretend so much
or else you get shit.
Like, I'm sure you've gotten into trouble.
I remember it, but I don't even remember
the insatives and I don't care. Always and always and always, because if you open yourself up to
sit. And it's just like, like, I'm a basic liberal, but they piss me off so much when they just
cop this attitude. And it's like, just don't gaslight me. You know, I've always been an ally.
Don't pretend, don't say things like,
you know, racism has never been worse.
Plainly, that's not true.
But we all have to pretend things like that or...
Everybody's got a virtue signal to find their brand.
Exactly, exactly.
And that's what fucks me up.
And I've never been a guy who could play along
with bullshit from the left or the right.
I'm the same way, right?
Yeah, I'm independent, right?
I think for myself.
Fuck you if you think I'm supposed to say this,
or supposed to think that, or supposed to be on your side.
So if you had to run for office, what party would you run on?
I'd run Republican.
You would?
Yeah, because I can fuck with them more and just...
Well, they're all, I think, they're more pragmatic.
You know, what also I was bringing myself up.
I think Democrats are smarter. I was bringing this up. I think Democrats are smarter.
I was bringing this up on my show Friday.
The Democrats are very boxed in to identity politics.
So Republicans though.
Wait, wait, wait.
But my point being Democrats being so boxed in by identity politics.
There's only two slots on the ticket.
It can never be for the Democrats to white men.
No, that's true.
So you're, you as a white man, are already saying shit.
They're talking about Carrie Lake and Trump, right?
They do, they play the same thing.
Right, no, of course, but I'm saying like,
you can easily imagine the 2024 Republican ticket
being to white men.
And I bet you it will be.
You cannot imagine the Democratic ticket being too know there's no chance now i'm
not saying that
but i get your point i'm all for diversity what do you think about raint
choice was just when we put it up against merit
there's a the work we're having battles that sometimes are but but this is
we're not a do opley there is no there's no world of republican and and
group republican and Democrats where they come
up with the best candidates. There's just no world with that exists. That's why I'm all
right. Because of that crawling over glass to get there.
Just because, you know, it's the power structure. It's about power structure first.
If we could just get a, like, program a computer to put in all the data and figure out who
are the two smartest guys to run the country.
So what do you think about ranked choice voting?
We would come out of the computer. It would be like, yeah, Bill Martin.
Bill Martin. Bill Martin.
And then we have to flip a coin. You see, which one of us president?
Bill Mark's excellent adventure, right?
All right. Oh, we just like direct the movie together, like the Cohen Brothers did.
We have co-presidents. Okay.
But I got to ask you before we keep...
But that's not our system.
Before you kick us out, speaking of systems,
Rank Choice Voting, what do you think?
I'm really curious what you think.
I think it's good, I think.
But like, am I a big expert on Rank Choice Voting?
No, I love it. I love it.
Yes, because it eliminates the extremisms, right?
Yes.
And that's what makes the money out of it.
That is our number one job one thing.
Eliminate the extremism.
In primaries particularly.
Primaries particularly, that the extremists
are controlling both sides.
And it's just a big like.
Fucks up everything.
Fucks up everything.
So if you look at like, remain in Alaska
where they have ranked choice voting for Senate,
those are the two who voted against Trump.
Those are the two who actually vote against Trump.
No, we know what I'm saying.
If we're impeachment and everything else, right?
Oh, right.
Right.
You mean, you're casking in Alaska, right.
And so Collins and Maine, right?
And I think that's it.
Right, you're right.
Because the ranked choice voting.
Right.
They don't have, you know.
Right, you don't have to cater to the crazies.
No.
That is the difference.
And so I've been a big advocate of ranking.
You must get what I get a lot. People coming up to you and think, you
know, we want this common sense that you seem to, you know, like that we just we bring
back common sense and like as long as we agree with them, it's common sense.
Well, I mean, you know, we're left leaning at least I feel like I am. Yeah, I mean,
I'm a business guy through and through, but at the same time, I'm a, I'm a numbers guy.
I'm a, you know, I look at the effect, I'm pragmatic, right?
And so I'm not against something just because I'm support,
I'm not dogmatic about anything.
But I mean, I'm just left like, you don't question
how great it is that we have gay marriage.
You think that's a great thing?
Of course.
Exactly, okay.
Well, this is not what they would say
on the Republican side.
So, I'm just saying it's always bothered me to change things.
You've got to go, I agree.
No, no, no, no.
I'm for, I don't have a team.
I don't have a team.
I'm the same way.
I don't have a team at all.
And it's rough because this is a team error when people just want to hear what they believe.
But I think Trump has been political chemotherapy, meaning he was such a mess, right,
that he changed the system.
Maybe.
So we had those,
you know what happens to people who get chemotherapy?
Right, a lot of them die.
Right, a lot of the system may change.
I'm not mad.
Yeah, that was the play.
You're right.
Yeah, Mrs. Lincoln.
But, you know, it's been 2016, let's say, to 2022,
six years in the big scheme of America,
like my kids, when they're 60 years old,
are gonna look back and say, hopefully, say,
look, the country went through the shit
when I was a kid, but we learned from it.
And I think we're starting to learn from what happened
because seeing them throw them under the bus.
This, it's starting.
I mean, the poll was out today.
He's still beating DeSantis for the nomination 14 points, among the public.
Really?
I didn't see that.
Yeah.
No, the tide is absolutely turning.
I mean, since the election, absolutely.
You see major pundits.
You got housed.
You see certain political people.
We'll see.
I mean, we've seen this work is throwing
a lot of money but he did that a while ago no he started to right but he was just right
right he's starting to do it now I mean you saw the New York Post headlines today yeah Florida man
yeah that I must say the genius like if people don know, it's a big headline about something else.
And then just on the bottom, in smaller letters, Florida man makes announcement, Florida man.
That is just fucking genius.
It's fucking genius.
So, all right, well, I'm going to release you back into the wild, Mark Cuban.
I'm going to go back to what I do for a real living.
But I'm so glad I to what I do for a real living.
But I'm so glad I got to know you.
Oh, man.
All right, so, to do it again, you'll mentor me?
Yes, that's a deal.
Climb.
Thanks.
I'm gonna see you on my HUD.
Yeah, please.
Throw it out.
Me too.
I really do.
I'm going to throw it up. Me too.
I really do.