Club Random with Bill Maher - Terry Crews | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: August 11, 2024

Bill Maher and Terry Crews on religion, extremism, Terry’s Hollywood journey, Terry being on the receiving of that famous Me Too moment, the aftermath, and the support from his wife, Terry’s strict Pentecostal upbringing that prohibited dancing, watching movies, or listening to secular music, Terry’s battle with a certain type of addiction and the rehab process, the evolution of representation in Hollywood, Bill’s love of the film Idiocracy and how he has programmed his car as an homage to that movie, Magic Johnson’s yacht, and which of them could win at arm wrestling (hint: not Bill).  Check out Bill's tour dates here: https://www.billmaher.com/schedule/ We have Merch! Get it here: https://clubrandom.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash y amex. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash y-am-ex.

Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Summer is like a cocktail. It has to be mixed just right. Start with a handful of great friends. Now add your favorite music. And then finally add Bacardi rum. And there you have it, the perfect summer mix. Bacardi, do what moves you.

Live passionately, drink responsibly. Copyright 2024. Bacardi, its trade dress and the bat device are trademarks of Bacardi and Company Limited. Rum 40% alcohol by volume. When I was president of Comacho, I was my pastor. I give you my word. He ain't gonna fix the dust storms, too. Ha!

T-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R- It's been a pleasure to meet you. I've seen you a couple times already, at different events and whatever. Have you been working out? A little bit. A little bit. Jesus, don't scare me with your tits right away. Hey, hey. All right, well, sit your sculpted ass down. Yeah. Oh, that's good. I'll put the shit down on a t-shirt.

All day long, I was thinking, I'm going to actually talk to President Camacho. Yeah. And if you never did anything else besides that, do people, I must, I don't know, but ever since that movie came out, like what year was that? Oh my God, that was 2005.

Yeah. It technically didn't come out. It was released in two theaters, one in LA, one in New York, and then for one weekend, and then it was banished. It was really video that really happened for everybody with that. Now you're not gonna smoke pot, right?

No, not at all. No, no. No, no. Are you militantly against marijuana? First of all, I'm not against anything. It's just that, you gotta, I mean, my past, in regards to alcohol and drugs, it's just a lot of death around it.

I mean, from where I'm from. Well, and I feel... It's almost like people who swim. Like, some people learn on the beach, some people get kicked in at the community pool. For me, all this stuff involved people dying. And I was like, huh? Yeah, I know, I mean, that's valid.

I mean, yeah, I get it. Again, it's like alcohol. There's a lot of people who enjoy it and do great. And then there's like, holy cow, what just happened? I think there's less people who do great with it. Yeah. But for me, it was just, you know, I know weed and I had a lot of family members

that started out like that. And it ended up harder and weirder and crazier. Yeah. You know, and I said a lot of family members that started out like that, and it ended up harder and weirder and crazier. Yeah. You know, and I said, uh... And what drugs are we talking about? Like, all of them? Yeah, crack. I mean, with the crack. I came up in the crack era.

Right, the crack era. You see, I mean, 80s. Flint, Michigan, 1980s. It was hell on earth. Now, and another thing about my background, man. Now, my mother was extremely religious, extremely. Like, when I was a kid, I couldn't go to the movies, I couldn't dance, I couldn't listen to secular music.

Couldn't dance? No, dude, it was, like, it was viewed as, you know, everything was anti-God, everything was, it was like the world and it was us. Is that Jehovah Witness? No, it was a thing called the Church of God in Christ, which was Pentecostal. So it was very, very, but then.

It's still one of the newer ones. There's these newer ones, newer Christian sects. Yeah. You know, as opposed to the old school Lutheran and Episcopalian and Baptist, the new Pentecostal Jehovah Witness, they get more into that. I mean, I remember Michael Jackson,

I think, was Jehovah Witness. He was Jehovah Witness. Like, you can't celebrate birthdays. Right, right. You couldn't either? No, no. This is where we were. We were at this women couldn't either? No, no. This is where we were. We were at this, women couldn't wear makeup, that kind of thing.

We were called holiness, where you couldn't, you had to separate yourself in every way. You couldn't play sports, couldn't do any of that. So what was wild though, is the pastor of that church was a massive crackhead. Bill, he actually wrote a book about it, how he came out of it, you know. But at the time, it was all about restricting everybody, everything, and he was out doing drugs, he was sleeping with all the women in the church,

because it's a very female-oriented denomination. So Church of God and Christ, the guys were like, I ain't going there. But it was like, he had all these women to himself, and it was so foul what he did. I mean, it was, and people saw him at the crack house. They were like, hey, you're the pastor? Church of God and Christ, ain't that you? And They were like, hey, you're the pastor? Church, you got a crack? Ain't that you?

And he was all, oh, excuse me. And this is a common thing, you know what I mean? Very, very common thing that I grew up with. And that's one of the reasons why I was like, this drug thing. Because again, I grew up, this guy ruined lives. My ears always perk up when I hear about just the way guys have scams to get laid.

Like, I could, like, there should be a scam store where you can go and you can pick out, like, cops, that's a scam to get laid. Politicians, pastors, you know, the church, yoga teachers. Oh my God, wait, come on, the church, yoga teachers. Oh, my God. Wait. Come on. First of all, trainers. Trainers. Photographers. Oh, and this is what I love, acting coaches.

Acting out totally. Oh, that's one of the biggest scams out here. And directors. But I mean, that's a little different because you really want to be a director. It's just like a side that comes with it. I feel like these other things is like, no, I'm gonna do this thing because it's the way I can get laid.

Straight up. I mean, it was so wild. I went to audit these acting classes, you know, because they were like, you know, you need to take classes and the whole thing. And I had already been acting, but I was like, let me try this out. I saw this dude literally just hit on every woman in the room. Right. And it's really, let me try this out. I saw this dude literally just hit on every woman in the room, and it's real, let me see your emotions. I know. Come here, honey, come here, honey.

Holding the hand, I'm going, oh no, no, no. I was like, my wife will never be in this class. No. He was after the draws, 100%. I was like, no. Yeah. But you're right about the scams. It's, and I must say, you know,

as the guy who is, you know, we're not gonna agree on religion or many things, and that's great, we can still be friends. That's why this is a great way to do this, and just talk it out. But, you know, I've always been an atheist and a religious skeptic, and I find those kind of scams when they're involved with religion to be kind of

the scousy because you are pretending to be actually more moral. I mean, you're putting yourself on this plateau. I mean, that's how priests get to fuck kids because we trust them more than anybody else. Like, you know, would you like to take my kid away on a weekend trip? Sure, of course, you're the priest, what could happen.

It's almost the worst way to do it. I mean, it's a toss-off. Well, the thing is, it's just, listen, if you got a game, if you, thing is I appreciate is honesty. Me too. If you want to do your craziness, and this is why I like you, Bill, I'll be honest.

I don't smoke weed, but I don't mind that you do. I don't mind talking to people who don't agree the same thing. In fact, I wanna learn something. I wanna learn something. Show me something, the world in a different way. But when you telling me you're about this, and then you're obviously not,

that's the thing I got a problem with, man. Like, yo, it's like, don't tell me you've never hit a woman and then they catch you on a video at a hotel room and in a hotel lobby and you're smacking the people around. You're talking about pop music? Kicking and you're like, wait. I know. He just, you know, for me, that's the worst.

Like to me, that kind of game that you wanna play. Yeah. I don't wanna be part of that. I mean, it's certainly not good, but I mean, I find the hypocrisy in the church worse than the music industry because I church worse than the music industry, because I sort of expect the music industry. I mean, how, and by the way, how the Me Too movement,

you know, which you had a little cameo in. Oh yeah, I had a starring role, let's just say. The male, the starring male role in that whole thing. I mean, I was gonna say, how it has taken this long to get to the music industry. I mean, they went for the movie industry, Harvey Weinstein and actors, and then it went media, we certainly,

we got people from NPR, you know, we got 80-year-old guys who were posting limericks, Garrison Keillor, they can't, I mean, they were scrutinizing, I mean, it's amazing, the inconsistency, I think, in the whole movement. And they got some true monsters, and they also caught in the net some people who really shouldn't have been caught in the net.

So, but the epicenter of the corruption, of that kind of treating women as bad as you can is the music industry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's right in the song. It's... Most of the time, it's right in the lyrics. And you go, did you hear what he just said? Right, yes.

And, okay. I mean, but your thing was, you know, what is it? You got your dick grabbed by an agent? Is that, that's right, right? Not only an agent, he was the head of the motion picture department at William Morris. A place that I had been for years. William Morris Endeavor.

William Morris Endeavor, place I had brought the millions of dollars. And I'm at a bent. Listen, I don't drink, don't smoke, never. Been high in my life, ever. Oh, never? Ever, never. Wow.

It's just not my thing. I mean, I get high on working out. I totally, exactly. That's me. Listen, I spent three hours in the gym and I feel like, oh, I got a great buzz. Right, my drug of choice is drugs. I get it.

But one reason why that's OK for me is because I've never, I know that sounds counterintuitive, had an addictive personality. I really don't. I use drugs situationally. And I don't even, I mean, it's been years since he did anything except pot and liquor. I'm 68 years old.

And I'm not stupid, and I wanna live, and I wanna be healthy. So people like me who can, anyway, let's get back to your bowl. No, yeah, first of all, I again was there with my wife, and- What's the event? This is a party with Adam Sandler. For his movie?

It was for, no, it was like a, we had just wrapped something, but it was just like a get together. Like he gets all the guys from Happy Madison together. At the agency? The whole thing, and it was a, well, Adam Bennett, who was the agent there, who's head of the motion picture department, who's Adam's agent, who had, well, he was,

he had Eddie Murphy, he had Stallone, all these people I worked with, and I had done movies with. And he was out of his mind. I don't know what he was doing, I don't know what he was on. He was tweakin', it was weird, he came up to me, he was like, I'm gonna leave,

he's just stickin' his tongue out. You doin' crack with your pastor? No, I'm going, you know what I mean? I got flashbacks, I was like, am I in church right now? It'm going, you know what I mean? I got flashbacks. I was like, am I in church right now? It's happening, you know what I mean? And he's looking at me from across the room, and he's sticking his tongue out. Like, I'm going, hey, whoa.

And I'm just looking. Now, you got to understand, Bill. I'm the only black man in the room. Like, the way you walked in, you were like, whoa, look at this big, whoa, that's how everybody was. I didn't think that. No, no, no, what I mean is you're like, look at you, wow, he's muscular, he's big.

So I stood out. I know what to expect with you. What I mean is I stood out, okay? I was there. Right. But it was a room full of white people, okay? And I was just like, why is this dude pinpointing me? Like, what is this? And then he comes over and I was just like, why is this dude pinpointing me? Like, what is this?

And then he comes over, and I had never met him. So I put my hand out, like, hey man, how you doing? And he's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, and grabs all of my junk. And I'm going, yo, yo, yo, get back, man, whoa, hey! And my wife is like, what is going on? And then he's like, and he comes back again. And I'm like, and he, I said, yo!

Now look, I pushed him back so forcefully that he bounced around a little bit with other people because it was Pat Vent. It was at this place, the Huntington, or something, what is it, Huntington. So it's not even there anymore, off of Los Inigo, on the top of Los Inigo. And I'm like, yo, man, what is your fucking problem, right?

And he just, he starts laughing. He starts laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. I don't know what to tell you, dude. No, I'm glad you did, because hearing it from you, I'm totally on your side. I'd only heard, as we all do, the headlines. You know, the clickbait.

And it was just like, oh, a guy grabbed this guy. Was it a joke? The way you described it, because I've seen this guy. Not this guy. But you know what I'm saying? I've seen guys in public places who are so fucked up on something. And they, you know, I've been drunk enough to like,

I'm sure, be obnoxious at times, but not like that ever. But that's a different kind of drug probably, and they really don't know what they're doing and they're saying, and they think it's funny. I'm not sure whether this guy was truly sexually charged up by you or it was a gay thing. It sounds like he just thought, oh, this is a macho guy and I'm this big agent

and he'll find this funny. And yeah. It was so, I felt like his fantasy. Like, you know, he was like, no, I don't wanna go there. I don't want, I'm not, this is not happening. And this is another thing that flipped me out. I'm like, dude, you're the head of the motion picture department.

Like, I pay you. It's like, listen, man, I don't go to Vines to get molested by the class here. You know what I mean? I'm giving you money. And he's like, come here. I was like, dude, what in the world? I pay, you work for me.

How can you even, where's the joke here? How do you think this is funny? That's drugs. You understand what I'm saying? That's what I mean, I said something's off. No, I'm telling you, I've seen this guy. I haven't been as victim of it like this as you have, but I certainly have this guy, I haven't been as victim of it like this as you have, but I certainly have had guys,

I've left many a party in this town. Because somebody just would not leave me alone. And usually it's because they think they're a big fan. This guy probably thought he was a big fan. I mean, really big. He wanted your dick. But like, I have left parties because they just, and they cannot take a hint because they're fucked up.

And they're fucked up plus they're starstruck. And the combination is deadly. And they want to be around you. They want to be with you. What they just do, the thing that, I don't know, they have this idea in their head, everybody, this guy's a star, everybody kisses their ass, I'm gonna be different and be obnoxious.

That's a lot of it. I'm gonna be different. Yes, you are. And I'm leaving and suing you. But listen, but this is a whole nother matter though. I mean, that's still a guy who you don't pay. Like, that's not your employee doing that. Right, you're correct. Right.

Imagine. I'm like, hey, man, get the fuck out. And he grabs me again. Right. I'm like, all right, now. Now we have a problem. Now we have a major, major problem. Well, he's lucky you didn't knock his teeth out. See, this is the thing, man.

You got to understand. But then it would have been, you were smart not to. See, this is what I said. and this is what I told everyone. And this is what I... Bill, would you have believed me if I would have knocked every tooth out of his mouth? Would you have believed me? It doesn't...

If we had talked like this, definitely. But... but the story the next day... That's why people have to come here. This is a video. It is true. But first of all, podcasts weren't that popular back then. I understand. I'm just saying this is the clearinghouse

for actual honesty. No one would believe it. But also, it would have become a giant. I mean, it was a minor story. It was a story. But it wasn't. It would have been all over because it would have been racial. And that's what America feeds on,

that's what the media feeds on. And to this... I'm gonna be real with you. That's what they would have played. Yeah. They would have said, I did nothing, I was standing there, and he got mad,

and he was pissed about something. Come on, man. On MSNBC, it would have been the guy was racist in some way, because that's always their narrative. Sometimes it's true, and it could be true here. There could be a racial element to it. I mean, you can't ignore the fact that, like you said, you're the only black guy, but you're also probably

the best-looking guy of any, and the best in shape guy, and the sort of like, you know, there are other things that it could be. He was definitely turned on. We know that for a fact. Okay. Okay. What do you mean? Where he went, you're like, okay.

Something was on his mind. Because again, the way he was coming at me was like, ah, ah, ah. But again, people can just think they're being funny. They think like, oh, he's an ex-jock. I'll do what they did in the locker room. Where they... That kind of stuff. I know these guys in the locker room

snapping the towels on their ass, and it's gonna be funny. But just the thing, man, I don't think he knew where he was. I'll be honest with you. I literally was looking and he was gone. He was laughing like a fool. And it wasn't... It was like he was gone. He was laughing like a fool. And it wasn't, it was like he was on, he was just tweaking it.

Hey man, I know people on crack, I've seen it. And I'm going, oh my God, that dude's hot. He's on something. I don't know what the drug is. So I go to Adam, and I'm like, Adam, hey man, something's wrong with your boy, man. He's grabbing my nuts. I said, you gotta get him or he's gonna get killed.

I said, literally. And he said, what? What's going on? Terry, what? Oh, my God. And he's looking at me, he said, yeah, he is fucked up. He sure is. And, but this is the thing, man. Sitting there for a couple minutes... Like, it started to change in my heart,

like in my head, in my belly. I was going, I don't, this is so fucked up right now. Like, I felt, I started to get smaller and smaller. I don't know how to describe it, but it wasn't like the party continued. No, I feel you. You know what I mean? Because I was going.

Yeah, I felt the same thing. What the hell? And then I'm going, because, I felt the same thing. What the hell? And then I'm going... Because it started to come to me. When you're uncomfortable in a public space, it's one thing being home and being uncomfortable in some way, but when you're a bunch of people, it's the worst. It's the worst.

It's the worst. Because it's everything plus they're all gonna see it and whatever it is. But this was the thing. Everybody saw it. Right. And everybody continued as if it didn't happen. And I was a little like, I don't like this. And then I was, then I wanted revenge. Now, in my head, I was like,

I gotta fuck this dude up. In my head. That's when you called Will Smith. Yeah. Yeah. I got a situation. I needed the power of Will at that moment. Will, I've got a situation.

What would be your recommendation here? Hey, man, look, can you handle this for me, please? First of all, I knew, and this is another thing, because I've been on that dark side. I have a massive temper. There were times when I would pick people up and slam them on their heads. And I've done this many, many times.

And this is where I had my wife, we've been married 35 years, as of end of July. Okay? Oh, my God. She told me years before this all happened, she made me promise. Because this is after the police had come and after somebody's on the ground. And again, she's like, Terry,

because I felt he had disrespected me and her and the whole thing, but this dude, he ended up on the ground. And she said, Terry, you're gonna end up dead. You're gonna end up in jail. And she was just pregnant with my son at the time, and he's now 19. He just left the house. He just went to college. Oh, great.

But this was 20 years ago. And she, about 20 years ago, and she said, you have to promise me you will never get violent. She goes, we're gonna lose everything. This was a sit-down. This was a sit down, this was a talk, this was way before George Floyd, this was way before, she's like,

dude, they won't stop, they will kill you. Because when she saw the police show up and point their guns right at me, and this old white guy came out of the crowd and was like, oh no, he was messing with them first and they believed him, but they didn't believe me and my wife, oh no, he was messing with them first and they believed him, but they didn't believe me and my wife. You know what I mean?

On why I put this guy on the ground. She said, you know what? She said, you're not gonna win. You're never gonna win this. And I promised. I made a promise to her. And everything in my head came back that night and I said, oh my God, I'm gonna kill this dude. And I said, oh, my God.

I'm gonna kill this dude. And she said, she looked at me, because she saw the whole thing, and I grabbed her hand. And I said, let's go. Now, I'm gonna tell you this, man. I was in the car, I pulled the car back up, I got in the car, I wanted to drive the car back through the club like Terminator, you know what I mean? Like...

You know? No. It never stopped, you know? like, my mind was still going. I couldn't, I was like, I can't let him get away with this. I can't let, I can't let this happen, right? But I get in the car, and all my wife did, and this is, man, I get choked up thinking about it right now. She just kept saying, I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, man. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, man. I'm proud of you. It's just to keep the mental thing, because she saw it, and she saw me just going, wait, wait, I gotta, and she's like, I'm so proud. Hey, Terry, I'm proud. So, it saved his life.

I'm gonna tell you that right now. What are your other memories about working with Jews? I get agents anyway It's summer and there's nothing like feeling better in this warmer weather fuel up with factors No prep no mess meals factors fresh never frozen meals are factors, no prep, no mess meals, factors, fresh, never frozen meals are dietitianary approved and ready to eat in just two minutes. So no matter how busy you are, you'll always have time to enjoy nutritious, great tasting meals.

Make today the day you kickstart a new healthy routine. You always have new flavors to explore. Crush your wellness goals this May with dietitian approved meals and ingredients that you can trust. wellness goals this May with dietitian approved meals and ingredients that you can trust another few things that are awesome about factor restaurant quality meals ready in two minutes and there is no shopping prepping cooking or no arguing with the waiter over why since COVID they now make your pet you pack up your own doggy bag head to factor meals

dot com slash random fifty and use code random 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. That's code random 50 at factormeals.com slash random 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. When it comes to men's clothing, Rowan is the way to go. Every guy would like to look better without having to think about it, but because they

have to think about it, most guys just punt. I know for a fact that there has to be a more stylish, functional, business-casual menswear that is both high-quality and durable that can withstand your day. And the solution is Roan. Men's closets were due for a radical reinvention and Roan did it. Roan's Commuter Collection is the most comfortable, breathable and truly versatile set of products known to men. They have products for every occasion. We're talking about the world's most comfortable pants, dress shirts, quarter zips, polos and blazers. Roan's signature four-way stretch fabric is breathable, flexible and works everywhere from your commute to work to the 19th hole.

And Rhone's Commuter Collection features wrinkle release technology and is 100% machine washable. Looking good is that easy. And it's so nice never having to change from work to the after work hang and even lounging at night. The Commuter Collection can get you through any work day and straight into whatever comes next. Head to rhone.com slash random and use promo code random to save 20% off your entire order. That's 20% off your entire order when you go to r-h-o-n-e dot com slash random and use code random.

It's time to find your corner office comfort. Use Beetlejuice. don't ever say that name. I'm serious if you say that name three times really bad stuff is going to happen. The juice is loose. On September 6. We doing this? The wait. Let's go honey.

He's over. Thank you all for coming to this very special occasion. I felt a little tingle. Ew. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice September 6th. Summer's here and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost?

Well, you can't get a Wellgroom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana? That's a no. But a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan? Sorry, nope. But a box fan? Happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that.

Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by regency. App for details. Look, nobody's been harder on Trump than me. But just putting that aside, the people who hate Trump, one of the big things that they hate about him is that he said, I grab pussies. So if we're talking about grabbing crotchal areas, it is kind of- It's bipartisan. It's apples to apples. You know. I mean, it is kind of...

It's bipartisan. It's apples to apples. You know what I mean? It's apples to apples. You don't have to go far to see the hypocrisy there. But it all turned out well, right? The agent, what happened to the agent? Well, this is what happened is, you know,

you don't rob the biggest bank in town. What happens is you robbed a bunch of little ones on the way up. You know what I mean? Me, I'm city national, sitting up on the corner. What he was doing was all these little ATM hits and all this stuff. And so what happened is when I decided to sue him.

And this was the thing, man. Oh, you did sue? Oh yeah. Oh, you did sue? Oh yeah. You gotta understand, they had, was it David Pecker and all those guys from the Inquirer. Inquirer. They had the making up stories on me.

They said, Terry, we have proved that you were in Monaco with two prostitutes, how are you gonna handle this story? And we're gonna publish it tomorrow. And I said, well, that one prostitute is my wife, the other one is my publicist, so what are you doing? So what I did, I took the letter they gave me and said they were gonna put it, I put it on Twitter. And I said, see this? And he was like, I said, so I'm not scared of that.

And he really thought I was gonna be scared of something that was gonna be revealed, so they started to make stuff up. And I was like, scared of something that was gonna be revealed. So they started to make stuff up, and I was like, nah, I'm not gonna do that. There's nothing more liberating than honesty. Oh, it's so good. You know, like, to not have skeletons or, you know, whenever they, if I'm, like, at a restaurant or something

and they're taking pictures, like, guys, I'm not gay and I'm not married. I don't know what you think you're getting. I like girls. This is, yeah. Now, this is... So what? I gotta go back, because you said, you know, you don't have an addictive personality,

but I do. I was addicted to porn. I could not stop on pornography. Well, then I take something back. I am addicted. I could. Because I'm addicted to porn, and I don't, first of all, I don't see. I am addicted. Because I'm addicted to porn. And first of all, I don't see it as an addiction.

It's something I enjoy on a daily basis. Why is it a problem for it? I'm going to tell you why. A lot of this stuff in the religion world and the whole thing, sex was also something we never talked about at home home. At home, never. To this day, I never had a talk with my parents about it. Same here.

Are you doing it? And I'm like, nope, nope, not doing it, I'm good. We never did either. And I discovered it at my uncle's house. It had a chest. Discovered what? It's porn. Straight up. Porn.

Magazine, weed, player, Playboy, all this stuff. How old? On the old days, I was probably nine, 10 years old. Okay, that's a little early for caring about that. I was messed up. Like, it literally changed my brain. Like, the thing is, you got to be over 18,

but nobody discovers porn at 18. You're always a little bit before that or more. Well, I'm a little older than you. When I first discovered it, it was a little pat nine. I was still into baseball cards, I think. But by 11, yes, I was, and all we had was, like, if somebody had a Playboy, and it was so tame. I mean, it was...

Back then? There wasn't even any pubic hair. For me, I mean, again, at 10 years old, nine, 10 years old, looking at Hustler, on We and Player, which was a whole, like, this was another thing. We, I remember We. You remember that? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to tell you, yes.

I have one, I think I saved it, because Demi Moore was on the cover. She was 19. Mm-hmm. Listen, you know what? You're going to send me back into it. I'll go. It's so good.

They call this recall. This is called a euphoric recall. I can't do this. I can't talk about this stuff because it's like, oh. But let me get to the point. Because the point was the porn was something that was activated in me, and I said, and I felt guilty all the time. You know what I mean?

Like, what happens is you, and I remember watching, like looking at it and the whole thing, and then when my mother would come pick me up, I was at my uncle's house, my mother would pick me up, I'd slam it down, I'd never do it again, never do it again, but I couldn't stop thinking. But why were you feeling, why was it wrong? What was it hurting? Well, again, because what I'm in my uncle's house, my mother picked me up, I slam it down, I'll never do it again, never do it again. But I couldn't stop thinking. But why were you feeling, why was it wrong?

What was it hurting? Well again, what I'm talking about is that religious mode. You know, you're in the world where it's like, no, good people don't do this, right? So it just kept me on this thing, man. And I'm gonna tell you, then we had the Playboy Channel. Like this is when cable, the early days of cable. I remember that in New York.

Oh my God. But I figured out, and this is one thing that everybody in the world, all my kids, all my friends as kids, we figured out that the cable bot, if you held the channels in between, the blurred pictures would come in clear. All you had to do was hold the channel in between the channels, like just hold it a little bit.

And all that would come out. So here I am, I'm at 11, 12, watching, like, these pornographic movies like Alice in Wonderland or Snow White and Seven Dwarfs and all this stuff. But it wasn't hardcore, they were more like sexy, hardcore R-rated. Yeah. But it was still like, I couldn't get enough. Bill, I could not.

I was like, oh my god. Yeah, I couldn't either. And I did not find it a problem. But for me, but this is what I think. Washing my pajama bottle. You know what becomes a problem? It becomes a problem when I couldn't tell anyone. Like, you could say, I'm good with it.

I couldn't tell anyone either. Who's I gonna tell, my mother, my father, even my friends? But when you're that horny at that age. I was. Of course we all are. I was. And you just have to, and so your dick gets hard anyway. You know, of course it's like a cow that needs to be milked.

You've gotta do it. But it was at the same time, but you didn't have somebody always telling you you shouldn't be doing this. You understand what I mean? I mean, I was raised Catholic, so it wasn't complete. No, I didn't. I mean, certainly.

Look, a Catholic, for us, where we were, we looked at Catholics like, yo, wow, y'all out there, you can do whatever you want. Compared to where we were. You know what I mean? Right, I see what you're saying, yeah. No, we always looked at, oh, Catholics can do whatever. They're smoking and drinking, and they wouldn't even,

like, you couldn't even drink. You couldn't have, you couldn't smoke. We do it in the church, we drink. No one, but yeah, that's what I'm saying. You guys, they were looking Catholics like, oh my God, that's crazy. No, if you can't wear makeup and you can't dance, I mean, that's footloose shit.

It was footloose, it was Amish, it was Jehovah's Witness, it was us now, it was a smidgen of all that. So all I could do was sit down and shut up. But now you're free of all that, right? All free. You're free of all that. All free. But that was part of the rehab part.

But because it took me years to get out of that because I learned to have a secret life. You understand what I mean? Like, even when I was married. Sure. As a married man, I knew, okay, I could never tell her this. I could never reveal this. This could never, ever.

So I realized I had to be one face to her and another face. I certainly know that syndrome. I certainly know that feeling. And that's, it's took me a long time in life to realize this, but like, as long as it's that way, that's not the right relationship. As long as you have this kind of always walking

on eggshells around a lot of topics, like if I just even mention about an old girlfriend or something, I know it's just gonna cause a chill in the room, that is not the right girl for you. For me, anyway. I mean... But first of all, the key to a relationship is intimacy. Meaning, you... I know I could see you for who you are, honestly, and you see me for who I am, honestly,

and you love me anyway. Like, good and bad. Right. You know what I mean? Like, that doesn't mean you're perfect. That means, eh, she got this issue, whatever. But I know it. And I'm fine with it. And you've made the decision to be fine with it. And she knows you got these issues and the whole thing.

But she makes the decision, like, mm, I choose to be with you anyway. OK, but one bad thing that many women would say about men, if we're gonna be honest about accepting what's bad, is that we do find other women attractive. Not that women don't find other men attractive, they do too. They just are a little more constant, shall we say.

It's in the biology of just like, it's not good to have like a million different dicks in you. Whereas our biology is quite different. Unless you can be honest with a woman, unless you can say to her just what you would say to a guy, and I know this is asking the world, to most women, like, Bill, you are nuts. Well, maybe I am, but I've tried the other way and it doesn't work.

You know, I don't want to be able to not be able to be like, wow, that girl's hot, and have the girl I'm with be like, I'm going home. It's like, of course, yeah, it doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck her or hit on her, but let's not make me pretend, because once you start with the pretending, it never ends. Well, I pretended.

-♪ I'm sure you also had the issue that many men, most men don't have to deal with, which is that I'm sure the girls are attracted to you. And they, and especially once you become famous, they are going to like, shall we say, make themselves very available to you. That's very, I had a rock star, he had a Darryl Hall one night, and I said, you know, you rock stars, I mean, when the women are throwing you stuff like that, when you're a giant rock star, Darryl Hall, one night, and I said, you know, you rock stars, I mean, when the women are throwing you stuff like that,

when you're a giant rock star, how can you resist? And he went, you absolutely can't. He said, you know, it's at a point where you cannot even try. It's just... I'm gonna tell you this, though, man. And this is kind of weird, because... And this is where I'm a lot different, because...

This is something I heard with Andrew Uberman. He was talking about how the way porn works is that you get used to watch, whatever you're looking at is what turns you on. So if you're watching people have sex, it's better than actually having sex. Like, if that's what you're into, you know what I mean? Like, if it's like, if you're watching it.

And so he's saying, and it's weird, because now, this is why a lot of men have a lot of issues, because they don't really wanna actually have actual sex. It's like, I'd much rather you, I'd rather be a voyeur. I'd rather kinda watch it and then jack off or whatever. Because that's safer. Because I really, I mean, I would look at it like, what if this girl's got an STD or, ugh.

I'm a health nut, I'm also a health nut. So I was always like, ugh, I don't know who you been with, I don't know what you're about. That would always keep me from actual... But you can have sex that's safe. Yes, you can, you can. You can even fantasize about it. But again, when you're talking about porn, it's too easy. It's so easy.

It's safe. You feel like, hey man, oh man, let me just... It is a big problem that kids have this kind of explicit porn from the moment they reach puberty. You see, I'm in a clear because it was, I never even looked at it on the computer until about five years ago.

I was still with magazines. You're kidding. That was my era. You're kidding. And I was afraid of the computer and still have a little. I don't like anything that like, they might be looking at me and there could be cookies and all that kind of stuff. And what if they, you know, the, you know,

the Republican convention is going on right now. And their platform is super hard on pornography. You probably love it. I see, yeah. But I don't think you do, because you're for freedom for other people. It's just not for you. But they want to love it. I see, yeah. I'm... But I don't think you do, because you're for freedom for other people, it's just not for you. But they want to outlaw, I mean, this...

Vice President JD Vance, they talk about porn like, this is something that should be outlawed. You can't do that. You can't do that. Because you gotta... If you know the way the mind works, as soon as you restrict it, you want it more. This is the way it works. restrict it, you want it more.

This is the way it works. I could not possibly want it more. So, I already want it maximum. And what, no, believe me, if someone all of a sudden said you can't, it's all you think about. It's every. No, I'd be in the street. Born flag, I'd become a one-inch candidate. Trust me, this would be an issue

that would get a lot of people to the ballot box. Hey, I gotta tell you, that's why I'm not against, like you can't, it's freedom for everything. You know what I mean? But for me, and I'm the kind of guy when the computer came out, I would wait a half hour for a computer image to download and be sitting there waiting for it to come out. It's the early days of like dial in and you know.

Eeww, eeww, AOL. That just shows you got a problem. It took a half hour for a picture to come out? It was bad. I must say. Oh, my internet, it wasn't a, you know, the wifi was non-existent. You had to plug in and it was just like,

it was, the images would come in slowly. See, you only knew it five years ago. In the early days, like in the early, late 90s, it took a freaking 15 to half hour for an image to come in. I blame racism. Yeah. I'm saying, that's how bad, but I would wait. Are you sure that wasn't just you?

But I would freaking wait. And see, again, man, I knew I had a problem when you're going to like bookstores and you just, and I'm already famous. But it felt weird. You know what? And people are like, hey. Oh, I have to tell you something that you'll find so let me grab your balls.

Oh yeah. I used to go out, this is the days when porn movies were on VHS. Right. I would go out on Halloween when I could be in a full mask to buy the porn for the whole year. You see what I mean?

You see? I hadn't thought of that in a long time. You know what I'm saying? Oh, it's coming back to you. They fucking like, from the, from the, what's the scream guy? Nobody knows, I'm good. And you would go in and just get the whole year's worth.

See, talk about, hey, that wasn't honest. Who says we haven't made progress? OK. Now I hear. That's me. I would get my hat and I could have a ritual, you know what I mean? And it was dark.

And it was a lie to my wife. No one knew. But see, I mean, I feel like when you're in a relationship, it's even more necessary because the relationship, of course, there's no variety there. We know this is the big problem that many people have, I don't know anyone who hasn't had to deal with that

in some way that you're going to, as the years go by, it's just inevitable. You know the person better, you've had sex many times. It can't be quite as, you know, maybe it can up and down a little bit. You know, basically, you know, I always say a sex life is like a dog. You want it to live forever. I mean, you love the thing so much, it's so great.

You know, and who doesn't love a puppy? But at some point, you know, and it doesn't love a puppy, but at some point, you know, that dog is gonna die. I'm sorry, you're gonna keep living, but the dog does not live forever. I know that's a horrible... Listen, I... I'm... This is where I want to give you my perspective,

which blew me away. Because I felt the same way you... with what you just said. I think, like, my sex is dead, and we were 20 years married, and our marriage was basically over. I mean, really, it was literally done. We were like...

But this was the thing, and this is one reason why I went to this rehab, to kind of learn how, what made me tick. I went on a sex fast. Okay? Ninety days. I said, I'm gonna make it through this 90 days, no sex. But my wife is still there. So it was still like, okay, the desire is there,

but what was funny? And I said, I don't know if this is just my makeup or I was just what I was, but I'm gonna make it through this 90 days, no sex. And I said, I'm gonna make it through this 90 days, no sex. And I said, I'm gonna make it through this 90 days, no sex. And I said, know if this was just my makeup

or I was just what I could do. But all of a sudden I started to see her as if, you know, when you were a kid and you were like 10 years old and there's another girl you liked and you gave her a flower and it didn't have anything to do with sex. Like, you see what I mean? There was a moment where you're like, -"I just like you." -"Right."

I think you're beautiful, and I just wanna be your friend. After 45 days, 50 days, 60 days, it turned into that. Like, I was like, I saw her for her. Whereas before, I was like, I saw her in positions and saw her love and love and getting bored with that. But then all of a sudden, I was like, I saw her in positions and saw her love and love, I'm getting bored with that. But then all of a sudden, I was like, you're so beautiful, like, as a person.

And I was like, and I saw her as a true human being that I could really love and appreciate. And then I knew, I said, I think I crossed the... I think I turned a corner here, like... It's almost like, you know, people who've been drinking Coke so long, the water is like, I don't want this water stuff. And then all of a sudden you get,

you haven't had it in a while, you're like, man, it's some good water. Woo. Let me tell you, you just made a lot of panties wet. Yeah. I'm sad. That's not a scam. That's not a scam.

I know it's not, but as long as we're talking about porn, that was lady porn. First of all, that's... That's what they wanted to hear. That's what my acting coach would have... We would have told a story like that. You know what I mean? Hey, girl, I see you as this... Yeah, I was gonna say, it sounded a little acting coach.

No, no. No, I agree. There's many... No, I... No scam. I see the difference. But... And then, no, again, it changed the nature of our relationship because then now, and this is another thing too,

I didn't go there to save my marriage. My marriage was over and everything in me was like, hey man, Hollywood doesn't care and now I can get any girl I want. You know what I mean? Like at first, that was the thought. And I was like, but then all of a sudden it made me think like, damn, you know,

what if it's me? Like, because before it was like, it's her. You know what I mean? Like, it's her. She doesn't turn me on anymore, and maybe she's always whining about this, and now I can be free, and now I can be honest without her ball and check.

But the problem was, and this is the thing, and this is what I discovered in all this stuff, it had shit to do with her. It was all me. Wow, it was all me. It was all me. And nothing was wrong with her. She's just being who she is.

She's honest from the get-go. It's me who's lying. Like, the praise I would say is, you know, like, why doesn't she believe me? But the question I should have been asking is, why am I lying? You understand what I mean? Like-

Well, I can answer that. Because you have to. Because if you don't, that's my thing about, wow, that girl's hot. You have to lie about that. don't, that's my thing about, wow, that girl's hot. You have to lie about that. Do you think that girl's hot? No, you're the only beautiful girl in the world.

Lie. But are you responsible for that lie? Or is the person who is making you lie, unless they're gonna get a puss on their face for the rest of the night, unless you do the lie, we have to both participate in the lie if for that reason, right? This, you are right on that respect,

because, but this is the thing, I would never, I don't have to lie to my wife about whether a woman is pretty or not. I'll tell her, that woman's beautiful. You know what I mean? And she can be like, yep. In fact, she'll tell me, she's so pretty. But she also knows, wait a minute,

this dude can hold out for me. Like, she knows I waited 90 days. It's almost more of a compliment. Yes, that other woman is beautiful, and no, I don't want her. I still want you. Right. You see, and to me, that made it deeper.

You know what I mean? Oh, we're getting deep here. Oh, and to me, that made it deeper. You know what I mean? Oh, we're getting deep here. Oh, no, no, I got it. But see, that's another thing too, man. I mean, it also comes with age. You know, I'm 56. Yes.

I'll be 56 within a month. Oh, it's the best age. And I'm, you know. It really is. 20, I was stupid. You're so, 20? How about 30 and 40? Yeah, let's go there. At least when I'm starting the beginning, like. You know so... 20. How about 30 and 40?

Yeah, let's go there. I'm starting at the beginning. You know, I'm not even so sure about 50, but like, yes, I mean, it's not great when you have less days than you... You know, as they always say, less tomorrows than yesterdays, but the wisdom, the comfort in your own skin,

I mean, you're actually happier. Hey, man. You're actually more cool with your... That's life every day. And you have more. You've accumulated more. You have more money, more friends, more respect, more... But listen, another fact. You've seen the Cats didn't make it, and why they didn't. You lived long enough to watch Cats fall.

Oh, yes. And I've seen... I'm going, oh snap, like, oh. I mean, that's the thing about America. I mean, we got a zillion problems, there's no doubt about it. But it is still a place, and the reason why people still love it, where you can reinvent yourself, you certainly did. And every day is sort of a new coin for the pinball machine.

You know, you can keep playing. A lot of countries, you're like sort of set at 18 when your life is sort of mapped out. And here, we are free in that way. I mean, you know, it's not corny or conservative to say you're lucky to be an American in 2024. No, it's not. But, you know, there's a lot of people who feel like, oh, man, you know, the country's done a lot of bad things. I'm gonna tell you a story, man. This is so crazy. One thing that blows my mind is that, you know,

there are a lot of people who I saw, there was a video on TikTok about these black guys. They were amazing dancers, man. Like, they were like the Mitchell Brothers, but there was some other group, but they were just... The big band was behind them, and they were doing all these amazing splits and flipping over each other.

It was art. It was 100% art. And people were in the comments, were like, too bad they were oppressed. And I just went, hey, man, hold up. Like, this is the thing. They were like, too bad they couldn't go to the fountain. And you're like, man, wait, wait.

It just, yeah. And this is the thing that blew my mind. My uncle, he told me, he said, man, you don't understand, these people, back in the day, they were heroes. They were. The fact that we saw, if you played a maid in the movie, we cheered. We cheered.

We were like, that's, wow. Look at her. And we were in the second balcony. We couldn't go down on the first balcony, but we were up in the roof on the second balcony because we weren't allowed to go down there. But we were happy. These were our heroes. And you want to talk,

and what happens is everybody's also, like everything at its time was the best it could be. You understand what I mean? And everything continues to grow and continue. Of course we wouldn't do that now. Of course there's a lot of things. There's so many things that I wouldn't do that I could do now that I wouldn't have done 10 years ago.

But we're all growing and we're learning. But to go in hindsight and pick everything apart and not give them the props that they had for being as great as they were. It's just that's what I hate most about wokeism. It's just such performance art. It's like you don't really care about solving anything. You just wanna pick apart something

in a way that can make you feel morally superior. And it doesn't change anything or mean anything. If I watch Gone With The Wind, it doesn't mean I'm a racist. It just means you're, oh, you watch Gone With The Wind. You're a bad, I'm not a bad person. I'm a sentient person who understands it was made in 1939. But see, I'ma tell you, man,

and this is between me and you, and everybody who's watching. See what I mean about this show? That's why it's... Damn it! You got me in here! That's why it's... You sucked me in, Bill! That's why it's good.

You sucked me into the hole! I love it! You have nothing to hide. I know. I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you, that stuff is religion. It's the same thing I grew up with. It's the same, if you don't do, where I was from, you couldn't play sports, you couldn't, now you can't go see

what's going on with the wind, you can't do that, you can't like this guy, you can't do that, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, it's the same rules. And I went, oh my God, it's a new religion, it's a new religion. It's a new religion. Well, you know John McWhorter, the great author? I mean, his book was called The Religion of Anti-Racism. I mean, another thing I really hate

about those far left types is they hate me because I won't hate someone else. You know, like, people I'm supposed to hate, and I won't hate someone else. You know, like, people I'm supposed to hate, and I won't hate them. They're mad at me that I won't hate Elon Musk now, because, I mean, he has gone completely conservative. You know, he's contributing to Trump and everything. But no, I'm sorry, I don't hate him,

and I will never hate him. I'd love to talk to him about it, and we might. I mean, I've talked to him many times. But this, I hate you because you don't hate someone who's on our list of the deplorables, who we hate. I don't want any part of this America. Listen, when I was a kid, we hated Catholics. Really?

Again, we thought you were wild. We thought, as a Christian, we're the church. Well, what do you think of Jews? Well, see, listen, man, I'm trying to tell you how dangerous this stuff is. When you're talking about the way we grew up, we knew the answers. Everybody else was wrong.

Every religion says that. But that's... Every religion. And it's foul. That's the thing that makes religion so dangerous is to believe all the things they believe that are so existential like how we got here and who God favors and who's the chosen and all this kind of stuff, you have to believe

that only you have the answer. You can't believe, well, it's debatable, it's not debatable. You ask so many of those jihadis like, why do you wanna blood, because Islam is the superior. It's, it, I have to. And they're ready to blow you up, and they're ready to kill you.

They love the word supremacists these days, and there is racial supremacists here in this country still, and people sometimes lean that way, and yeah, we still have work to do. But what's really supremacist is religion. Religion is totally supremest. It's like our God is the best. No argument, we're not debating that.

We'll debate like how we treat the people who aren't real believers. Maybe we'll be nice to them, or maybe the infidel should be smited with extreme prejudice, maybe. That's what I grew up in. That's, let me tell you, I get triggered even to this day about certain things and I hear certain words

and I'm like, hey, hey, hey, what do you mean by that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And this is the thing, I still, I am not atheist. I still believe in God. But I think people mess this stuff up. You know what I mean? For me, I think it's always, like my pastor, who ended up on Quark and sleeping with women in the church.

You know what I mean? It's like, hey man, he didn't live by the words he was saying. You see what I mean? Very few pastors, very few religious people. There are some, there are sincere priests. There are some good people. They're absolutely sincere priests.

But I tell you this man, and I see where this stuff goes and how it sounds exactly the same. These extremes on both sides have made me go, there's no nuance, can we bring nuance back into conversation? My whole thing. This is one reason I'm even sitting here with you today. You know what I mean? This is why I signed this book to you. Oh, thank you. I hope this is the one I... And you know what, man, Bill? I gotta tell you, man.

This is all about nuance, and let's not my book, I'm plugging it now. I gotta tell you, man, one thing I admire about you... What this comedian said once shocked you. It's eight weeks now on the Best Seller list. I'm very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. I'm very proud of it.

I'm very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. I'm very give you props. I'm gonna give you props because you took the heat head on. You keep taking it head on, which is a whole nother level of courage. I gotta give you props. Thank you. Because all you can say, anybody, no matter, anybody can say they don't like you and this, and that, and that, and that, and that,

and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, which is a whole nother level of courage. I gotta give you props. Thank you. Because all you can say, anybody, no matter, anybody can say they don't like you, but they can't say you're not courageous. Or that I'm not honest. Even my enemies don't say that.

Even my enemies don't say I'm a liar. But yeah. I respect that. It's also liberating. Yeah. You know, it's, you have to, there are certain things that you have to sacrifice I respect that. It's also liberating. There are certain things that you have to sacrifice for that because America is so tribal. So if you're not in one of the two main camps, it's a little like I've compared it in this

book I think I compared it to prison where like you can't just, if you're not with the Muslim Brotherhood, you're with the Aryans. There's no like, hey, I agree with everybody. I think everybody should get along. That doesn't happen in prison. And the country is getting like that. But I do speak for a different group. There is a large group in the middle

who are not ideologically captured and have had it with both fringes which control the debate way too much. And that's who I speak for. There are Democrats, independents, non-drooling Republicans. They're all welcome in my tent. And they appreciate that I don't hold my tongue

on either side. And you mentioned nuance, exactly. They get it that when I go after the left, it doesn't mean I'm a Republican now. Because I'm not. It just means I'm not, I I go after the left, it doesn't mean I'm a Republican now. That's- Because I'm not. It just means I'm not, I mean, for the last year when I've been trying to get Biden out of the race because he is too old,

and I thought I had the stature to say because I was always so against ageism, but I always said it's a case by case. This is the case. And people would be like, oh, Bill, don't make jokes about Biden's age. It'll help Trump write like we wouldn't have noticed. Club Random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus at Radioactive Media. Don't let the midsummer slowdown also affect your business.

You can ramp up while competition is sitting by a pool somewhere. Radioactive Media has been partnering with Club Random since the beginning, and they believe so much in the power of audio marketing. They put their money where their mouths are by using it themselves, right here, right now. You'll be hooked once you experience the power of audio marketing utilizing the strength of text messaging, which can generate an ROI as high as 7 to 1. Radioactive Media has an exclusive deal to promote your product or service on Club Random with me and save up to 50 percent. And if you lock that in now, we'll even throw in a copy of my New York Times bestselling book, What This Comedian Said Will Shock You. Go to RadioactiveMedia.com or text

the word random to 511-511. Discover how audio marketing can surpass your current strategies with new and innovative ways that sound better. Go to RadioActiveMedia.com or text RANDOM to 511-511. Text RANDOM to 511-511 today to save up to 50%. Terms, conditions, message and data rates may apply. Hey, I'll be at the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center in Atlanta on September 7th, September 8th, the Riverside in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and September 28th, the Orpheum Theater in Memphis, Tennessee.

September 29th, the Taft Theater in Cincinnati, Ohio. And November 1st and 2nd at the David Copperfield at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. But I gotta tell you this, when I was a kid, they knew the pastor was doing all these things, and they were like, can't say anything bad about him, because, you know, and I went, but we're the ones who should.

You're right. Yeah, of course. You know, like, we're the ones who, here, we're in the church, we see it. Right. And we weren't allowed. And I go, that's just a sign of what extreme religiosity is. They did the same thing with Jim Jones,

the same thing with David Koresh. No one could say it. And people died. I'm telling you, man... I just have to start with me, because I know that I was... There was a time when I was fake. You know what I mean, there was a time when I was fake. You know what I mean? Like that time, because again, I didn't go with all this stuff to get my wife back.

It was like, I need to be a better person. Like I was like, I don't like me. You know what I mean? I don't like this dishonest, sneaky version of me. But see, Hollywood doesn't care. Like that helps you. Hollywood loves that. That's what I'm saying.

They're like, dude, that's called being in a movie. Hey, man, how many love stories are made by people who molested many people? You know what I mean? This is, Miramax made plenty of love movies, love stories. And they were like, in the back alley, like, whoa! So I said, I can't, and that was the big thing for me, man. Like I hit this thing where I had to decide,

I was like, I'm out. I'm out, this was one reason why, and because I had this come to Jesus with myself, that's why when the Me Too thing happened, I was so like, I'm joining this. Because the way anybody even knew, nobody even knew until I tweeted about it. Because I said, because the-

And the man part of that was of course, it doesn't happen as much. Men are not nearly as vulnerable, but it does happen. Dude, you know what I mean? Men came forward to me. Right. Like literally what I mean? Men came forward to me. Right. Like literally like, dude, that same thing happened to me. Right.

And then people in my case, there were guys and women who came forward. I wish I could say a man once tried to grab my ball. But sadly, nobody did and I don't know why. I was very attractive. But let me ask you this, when you go to the sex rehab, what is it about? They just punch your dick?

I mean, how do you get up in the morning and they start wailing on your cock? You know, I guess that's the only way I could really describe what it was. But what it was was just counseling. You know what I mean? I call it sex rehab, sex addiction. Is there ever a small voice in the back of your head

that says, you know what, maybe this is all just brainwashing and indoctrination. Oh yeah. They call it counseling, but they sent me away to some place like McMurphy in Cuckoo's Nest, and they are really just kind of lobotomizing me so I'm now compliant to the women's debate. I felt that way the first two days.

I was going, this is... And then the brainwashing worked. I was literally like, this is bullshit. I literally was. And then I started to really just see... It was wild because I saw the difference between who I was and the person I wanted to be. That's where it was. It wasn't them.

It wasn't... I would say, like I said, it wasn't the power of people talking to me. It was the power of me sitting in my room and saying, I don't want to be that. I want a different life. And you talked about America. You talked about the fact that you can reinvent yourself. I said, I want to be different. I don't can reinvent yourself. I said, I wanna be different.

I don't want this, dude. I don't like who I am. And I said, I wanna change this. Well, you hit it well, because like, I always loved you in everything I saw you. I mean, you never stopped working. No. I love Everybody Hates Chris.

Thank you. Love that show. Never missed one episode. So great. So funny. It do, now that show. Never missed one episode. So great. So funny. Now, this is the thing, too. One thing I love is coming out of all that stuff, I could see, I could really, I'm talking about,

I'm king of nuance. Because you see people who are so extreme. You see all this. You see the extremes of everything. And that's where comedy is. That's where the funny is. That's where idiocracy was. Dude, you know who I was? When I was president of Comacho, I was my pastor.

That's why it was like, I give you my word. He gonna fix the dust storms too. It was charisma that allowed people to cheer, but he was saying nothing. This is how much I love this movie. Do you remember the scene where Luke Wilson, he's getting like the tattoo for who his identity is and name, and he goes, well, I'm not sure.

Not sure. You know, I was gonna say, I'm not sure whether he was. Not sure. Yes. Remember when they was gonna, they had to either put the stick in his butt or in his mouth and then they forgot which one it was. But listen to this.

So I got a new car about a year ago and it makes you, you know, what is your name? You have to, so that when you turn on the car it can say hello to you. I fucking hate this, but I'm sure. But you know what name I use? What do you mean? Not sure.

Not sure. So when I turn on my electric Mercedes Benz, it says, welcome, not sure. Amen. Me, Maya Rudolph, Dax Shepard, dude, Mike Judge, we did not know. We thought, oh my, because the movie was originally called 3001. Maya Rudolph?

Maya. Yeah, she, because the movie was originally called 3001. Maya Rudolph? Maya. Yeah, exactly. She was, you know, she was in the movie, and Scarface from the Gettle Boys, and it was Pimp. But this is the thing, it was called 3001. And Mike said, wait a minute, we gotta rename it. But some of the stupidity that it evokes,

we just see having, I mean, go through an airport, you know, and, you know, or just anything that is so frustrating because it's automated. I mean, it really is amazingly prescient, that movie. You know, one thing that happened in that movie that not a lot of people are talking about is this slow rewriting of history through movies. Like, you know, they had it where the dinosaurs were in, like a theme park and it- I visited there and I made a movie about this,

Religionless, and we went there, we shot there, it's in the movie. And it starts to change history, like right now, even now, I think this movie, Fly Me to the Moon, is like the movie. They actually put a fact in, like, they faked a moon landing. Yes. And I'm going, but that's not a fact, is it?

No, no, no, no, that's not what the movie's about. No, it's not what about, but it's in the movie. You see what I mean? Like, I haven't seen it yet. It's important to the plot. The plot of the movie is that they're going to the moon, but if it doesn't work, they don't want to scare the people. So they're gonna shoot a fake version

just so they can show them that. Now, there are people, I mean, Candace Owens, who can be very intelligent. I am, you know, she can get on a roll on something and I'm like, wow, she is saying it so right. She sat right there, and she knows this, we don't agree on everything, she doubts the moon landing. Wow, yeah, yeah.

I mean, glad earthers. Neil deGrasse Tyson's one of my good friends. Yes, he sat there too. Amazing, amazing, atheist, but I learned so much from him. Exactly. That's why I love, I gotta hear it, man. I wanna hear everything. Give me all the information.

Well, atheists aren't, atheists, I mean, there's a theory that atheists are like doctrinaire, like there is no God. That's not what we say. Atheist, as Richard Dawkins pointed out, just means atheist. In other words, like asymmetrical, a theist. Like you believe in a God, we just don't.

We're not saying, oh, for sure, we know the answer. We don't know the answer. No one knows the answer. Nobody does, I agree with that. It's ridiculous that we're here. It seems we act ridiculously. It seems so unlikely that, and we certainly don't know, we know the age of the universe.

But what was before that is a question you can never ask. Okay, Neil deGrasse Tyson will tell you 14 billion years is the, you know, that's when the Big Bang, the Big Bang itself seems more ridiculous than Jesus as a virgin birth. But okay, fine, everything in the universe fit inside of a marble and then it exploded. Great, maybe I'm simplifying.

But listen, me and Neil, some of the best conversations I've ever had in my life. Oh, yes. Because I'm just like, wow. You know, when you can follow these things up with facts, and I'm a big physics guy, so is Mike Judge. Mike Judge was like a physics major and all that, but I just love knowing that out there,

the rules are different. You know what I mean? Like, the... And... But all the laws are the same. But when you're talking about speed and time and gravity and the relation between electrons and just magnetism, those rules that are so beautiful, like, whoa! Well, it's very easy to find people who have no clue about anything with,

and I'm not, this is not my area either, I'm a social studies kinda guy. But I truly am interested in science, and I know the basics. When you try to explain to somebody, a lot of people don't even know what a light year is. They don't know what's a measure of distance. And then when you explain the distance is,

okay, light travels at 186,000 miles per second. Per second. Now, so a year of those would be very far. And then if you're talking about like 10,000 light years, really far. I love getting my brain exploding. You know, it's kind of like they show like a computer reenactment of what a black hole

would look like, and I remember looking at it and just replaying it over and over again. Like, oh my God, like, light itself can't escape. It's just beautiful. Like, to me, everything is malleable. You know, that blows my mind. You know, time itself... Yes.

...is so... And it's all... Like, I even think about when I'm doing something wonderful, and it's like, it's over like that. But when you are doing something, you hate, it just takes forever. It's just like, what... Yeah, you know, whenever people complain to me about time, my God, and I complain about this myself, time is going so fast. I always say to them, go to prison.

You want to slow it down? Oh my God. It'll take you. That's a great one. Go to prison, and trust me, time will not go so fast. Oh my God, It's brilliant. I mean, I'm glad time is going fast, but yeah, it does.

And of course, as you know, now that you're over 50, as you get older like that, it does go even faster. Dude, it's like a roll of toilet paper. You know? The closer you get to the end, it starts getting... Right. I must say, I never thought it would be like that. I'm telling you, the first couple sheets is like,

ah, we got plenty. All of a sudden, you're like, oh, hey, hey, hey, it's over. I, again, we just became empty nesters. We have five kids, they're all out of the house. Wow. Now it's me and my wife. How is that? Huh?

Dude, it was a minute ago I was holding this dude. Like, and he's my youngest. All my kids are grown and I love it. But what's it like to be in Empty Nest? Are you enjoying, you guys are enjoying? I'm literally, we're three weeks in. Right. And we're like, we can go anywhere we want.

Right. We went to Santa Barbara, Fourth, we're going to Hawaii this weekend. We just, I'm like, wow. You know, there's a movie I gotta recommend to you. I don't remember the title, but it's with, maybe you saw it, it's about 10 years ago. Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones.

What is the name of this movie? Whoa. And Steve Carell is a psychiatrist, therapist. Anyway, the whole movie is about Meryl Streep is determined to teach Tommy Lee Jones to refuck her. To, you know, to- That's the movie? Yes.

I don't think I saw this movie. You would have remembered. Like, they're like this married couple. I mean, this is not that long ago. So they're like this married couple. I mean, that's a long ago. So they're 50-ish. Yeah. And he gets home at night, watches the Golf Channel, and falls asleep in his Barca lounger, gets up in the morning, and like breakfast,

and kiss on the cheek, and doesn't... She's just furniture. If he could say the house is on fire, he wouldn't even hear it, goes to the office. That kind of... He's a dull guy. office, that kind of... He's a dull guy. Well, he's certainly, his senses are dulled

as far as his attraction to her. And her, just be nice. You know, it's one thing if you stop fucking, but you don't have to stop touching and caring and making, you know, that's what... I'm gonna tell you, this emptiness thing, it's the best thing that's happened to me in years because, again, I went back to that image of me

giving her a flower and I was saying, like, she was my girlfriend, and I'm like, it's just us, babe. And I'm, let me tell you, man, nothing like being, having this woman who knows everything about you, good and bad, and you can honestly, honestly share. And that don't mean we agree,

that's not be biting, eh. I said, but you're, you know what I tell her, I said, you know you're annoying, and I love it here. That sums up our relationship. Like, wow, it's a good pain. It's a good, like, it's a challenging. Like, it's not a, okay, what do you want? What do you want?

No, it's like, I'm challenged. I'm facing you, I love you, but that doesn't mean we gotta be all simpatico. It's like, oh, I didn't see it like that. That's like the third thing I've heard in the last month on that theme of like what you just said was like, oh, I didn't see it like that. That's like the third thing I've heard in the last month on that theme of like what you just said was like, you're annoying but I love it here. I read Sean Penn quoted in Maureen Dowd's profile of him

and she was asking him about smoking and I think he quoted Charles Bukowski who said, find what you love and let it kill you. And then I heard Jerry Seinfeld talking to Howard Stern, and he was saying something like, you know, it's all torture. You know, marriage is torture, and, you know, keep getting a new act is torture.

But, you know, that's what it is. I don't agree with any of this. I don't agree with any of this. I don't agree with any of this. No, I don't want to find what I love and let it kill me. I don't want to have anything kill me. I don't want torture. I don't want to be annoyed. I'm just a different kind of dude.

Listen, man, I'm that guy who wants to take the long trip. And there are people who like to go to Epcot and just go pretend they went to Germany and France and all these other places. And it's like, it's so much easier, you know what I mean? Oh, look, we're at Oktoberfest in Germany. No, you're in Florida, you know? But I'm like, no, let's go.

I wanna go, and it takes a lot of effort. You should go. It's a lot. Did you ever go on Magic Johnson, Gian? No, I haven't. I've been following no, let's go. I want to go. And it takes a lot of effort. You should go. Did you ever go on Magic Johnson's yacht? No, I haven't. I've been following it, though. It's beautiful. Every summer, what a vacation. I feel that this is just a terrible miscarriage

of justice. You should be on that trip. Not me. White people are not allowed on that boat. And I perfectly respect that. I love Magic. I love Magic Cookie. I totally respect that. I love magic. I love magic. I totally respect that.

Listen, let me tell you. But you should be on that boat. First of all, me and my wife last year did the vacation of a lifetime. It was so good, we didn't tell anybody. We didn't post. We didn't do nothing. We rented a yacht. Where? Oh, rented a yacht.

Oh, yeah. We went to the... We did a yacht. We went to Central Pay. We went to, we did the whole French Riviera. It was just me and her and a staff. And we ate, and we didn't take no pictures. We didn't send any. And no other guests. No other guests. Just you and her.

That's very romantic. It was the vacation of a lifetime. Wow, you're both very lucky. That's what I mean. Very few, very few people married marry as long as you have, would ever do anything just by themselves. That's why I know. Listen, that's why I'm saying,

I'm not saying this is for everybody, but I know it's for me. No. You know what I mean? Lucy and Ricky always brought Fred an apple. Yeah. I don't need anybody else, dude. I learned a long time.

I feel so comfortable with her. All those wet pussies just came. Yeah, I got that. I didn't say that, Bange. That was him. No, it's the... He can't help but... He can't help but doing it. It's a man. It's a beautiful thing.

I appreciate this, man. I appreciate you. And you made me laugh and entertain me so many times, I'm telling you. You never stop working. Amen. And I will never. First of all, this is another thing, too.

It's great. I want to say this. First of all, show business, we love it, right? I love it. It's the greatest. It's cool. I mean, it's foolishness. If you complain about this, you don't deserve it.

Exactly. What the hell? I mean, it's crazy, but it's fucking better than whatever else you please. My grandmother spent 40 years putting a nut on a bolt at AC Spark plug, bought her house, did her whole life, but that was she did every day for 10 hours a day, nonstop for 40 years. Amen, I'm living, what a life.

And I'm so grateful. So great that you recognize that, because if you can't enjoy it while you're going through it, I mean, you might as well be light years away. And I like the new stuff. Like, for me, I'm not complaining about the changes in business and all this stuff, man. It's like, I think we're gonna,

my thing is, there's more opportunity than ever. Like, remember, first of all, I'm from a day, when I was a kid, there was three sitcoms that you, as a black man, you could be on. It was Good Times, The Jeffersons, and there was only maybe one other. Now you can make your own frickin' show and put it out. Did you see Eddie Murphy's speech when he,

about, I don't know, three, four months ago, he received some award, I forget what it was. I didn't see that. And he made a speech and he said, when I started in the business, there was like one black movie star, Sidney Poitier, and there was very few directors and very few people who ran the whole shebang there.

And he said, now we got all of that. I thought it was like really great, talking about honesty, that he was like not doing what a lot of people would do and saying, we need more, of course, we always need more work. And work is never done, progress is never completed, we're never at the end of the journey. But just to say, it was honest, we got all that now.

Can we just celebrate when we do something right? You know? That's what I'm about. Yeah. I'm literally like, looking at all the black people that got Emmy nominations, let's celebrate them. But you know what, that's the thing, you look at it and go, there needs to be more.

The snubs, I'm going, huh, huh, huh? Why are we concentrating on who got snubbed? Give them some props. I am the single most snubbed person. So on that note, oh, plug your movie, don't you have a movie? Yes, yes, I got a movie, The Killer's Game, coming out with Dave oh, plug your movie. Don't you have a movie? What's your movie? Yes, yes, I got a movie, The Killer's Game, coming out with a Dave Bautista action comedy.

Oh, yeah. Where assassins, it's beautiful, Scott Atkins. It's about time I say someone made a movie about assassins. When is someone gonna make a movie about Hitman? First of all, one thing I'm happy it's about, it's less than three hours, which is, right now, everybody's on this three-hour movie kick, and I can't handle it. I'm gonna make a movie about Hitman. First of all, one thing I'm happy about is less than three hours, which is, right now, everybody's on this three hour movie kick, and I can't handle it. I'm literally like, hey man, I'm not in the theater.

Even the ones that are 220 should be 150. Come on, you can cut, it's a beautiful, beautiful popcorn bun, you'll be able to take it girl, get some pieces. Where is this, is this in the theater? September, no, this comes out in September. In the theater? In the theater, it's only, yeah,

theater's only as beautiful. And what's it called? I love it, it's called Killer's Game. Killer's Game, my man JJ Perry, Dave Bautista. How could there not have already been a movie called Killer's Game? Isn't it great? Isn't it great?

I love it, I love it. And you play, I'm guessing, a massage therapist? I play this killer named Lone Doll, who was actually, you know, this guy who's trying. What happens is he gets sick, and he decides he's gonna put a hit out on himself. And we're all in this, like, we're in the, like, killer's union so far.

We have an app, and we're all, like, on. He's like, okay, oh wow, he puts the money out. And then he finds out it's a mistake, it's a misdiagnosis, now he's trying to call it off. It's too late, too late, buddy. Just say assassin and you have me. Isn't it great, isn't it great? Interesting ways to kill people.

The number of movies they've made about Hitman and assassin, it's just amazing because in real life, there's not that many. No, no. You know, four hire. But like if you, if life was movies and you went into the old phone book, there'd be like pages after pages of... It's the fantasy, man.

I just called Acme Hitman because it was the first one, I don't know, there's hundreds of them. First of all, think about how good the Revenge movie is. It's like it never goes away. Never. It's always reinvented itself. Oh my God. I was in the days of Billy Jack. Remember that?

Oh, of course. Billy Jack. Billy Jack. And then Charles Bronson. Right. And then it was Clint. Yes. And then it moved to Liam.

You know? Taken. Yes. And then Mel was like, you know, payback. Everybody. Come on. John Wick. Everybody has to have.

Better than sex. I ain't going to lie to you. A good revenge movie. You're like, ooh. Now I see Jake Gyllenhaal just did... Yes! Roadhouse! Everybody wants to have a franchise where they're a badass who kills many, many people.

And walks away. And gets away with all of them. All right. And you better get yours very soon. All right. Quick arm wrestle. I know one. Ah! Come on, asshole. Yeah, I knew it. That was inevitable. Bill Barr, damn you. That was so much fun. Thank you, man. We gotta do it again.

I love this bit. I want to do it. We gotta do some comedy together sometime. Yeah. Club Rando.