Club Random with Bill Maher - Video: Patrick Bet-David | Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode Date: February 4, 2024

The perfect episode for a football-less Sunday! Bill and Patrick Bet-David on Bill’s dinner with Warren Buffet, dementia and our leaders, Patrick’s military service, the woman who never met someone from Iran, what makes Salman Rushdie a great hang, Bill’s Real Time editorial that Patrick loves, the concept of bad versus worse, what would happen if a super bug hit society, what Bill learned during his summer in Geneva, Gavin Newsom’s Real Time appearance, Bill’s pretend wife’s name and how many pretend children they have, Bill’s Modest Proposal for a world crisis, and much, much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If somebody watches my podcast, they're gonna know who I'm voting for. Well, if somebody watches a podcast, they're gonna sit there. But how odd that you can't just say it. But you could shoot a movie about 1975 there. And not have to change a thing. Call Quentin Tarantino. Hey man. How you doing?

Hey. How you doing? Oh man. You sound Italian. Yes. You're not. Apparently according to ancestry I am 18%. Is that right?

I had no idea, yeah. Well you had your thing done like 23 and me thing? No, so lady comes to our house. I did not come from my dog. What's that? You know, they find, you know, the DNA. Right, right, right. Now these people freak out like don't do it because they're trying to investigate and learn more things about.

No, the scroll comes over to the house and I'm half Armenian, half Assyrian. She says, you ought to do an ancestry to see if you have any other, you know, nationalities or roots. Wait, you say Assyrian? Assyrian, like Aramaic Assyrian. Well, because the Assyrian Empire is long over. It is. Right. So there's seven of us left. But the Assyrians became Iraqis.

The Assyrians became Syrians. Hence the name. Yeah. Coincidence. Yeah. It's a rich history anyways. Oh, I love that history and that part of the world. You know, I mean, that's where, that's first history.

That's, I mean, the first thing that's not prehistory really is that part of the world, is Mesopotamia. And that's where a lot of, these guys, a lot of things came from them, Recapitalism, a bunch of, you know, Calendars, everything. Well, everything came from antiquity. But I mean, civilization started along four rivers.

The Tigris Euphrates, the Nile, the Yellow River, and the Indus. The, you know, Ganges. Ganges? Were you always into history, like even in high school? Was it a later on thing? No, I mean, to rivers. Well, you like history.

I'm only into how rivers affect history. But rivers do affect history. I mean, obviously, people always, you can almost never name a city that doesn't have a river that's the middle of it, right? Even LA has a river. There's no water in it. Yeah.

But we have a river. And it's been a lot of movies Yes, it has Chinatown. Yes That famous scene where he takes the knife and oh, it looked like nosy fellows That was pretty you're a movie fan. So Bill what this this is like Disneyland here from the outside You look at it. You're thinking it's a small little place, and then you come in, you're like, holy moly. Well, good, I'm glad. I know you're a rich guy, so if it impresses you, I must be doing something right.

Yeah, no, I mean, this is fantastic. This to me is the favorite part of the whole setup, though, because it's not attached to where I live. I mean, I wouldn't, you know, it's too filthy for that. But for guests, you know, like I just had a birthday party. I heard. I couldn't believe you were raised by that.

I would always, oh, wow. I hope you mean that in the right direction. No, no, I'm telling you, I was talking to Chris and Chris told me the whole story about how he, 1989, the way you guys met, that story's a classic story with you and Chris. Really remind me, I forgot. Well, he said, you know the story.

Yeah. Yeah. But then he told me, so he had a birthday Saturday because there are balloons in the other room and I met your engineer and I said, how old is he? He told me the age, I couldn't believe it. I thought you were much younger than that. Thanks man, I ought all to clean liquor. No, I mean, you know, it's funny,

I had dinner, this will impress you, I had dinner with, dinner, it was 430. Okay, but dinner's dinner, with Warren Buffett. Today, this, no, no. Thinking you're coming here with Warren Buffett today. This, no, no. Thinking you're coming here for Warren Buffett. No, no, definitely not today. No, it was back in October. It was, I was on, I was doing what I do

on the weekends, which is tell jokes to strangers. So I was coming to Omaha when I get this call, you know, a couple of weeks before there, Warren, and he just like, it could not have been nicer. He was like, I will go anywhere in Omaha to meet you. I was thrilled that he was such a big fan. Oh, great, we met at this place.

I'm sure he goes, they look like, of course he's Warren Buffett and Omaha. He's walking around like the Beatles in 1963, I'm sure. So, we just, he could not have been greater, but he's like 93 or something. And he does not betray that at all as far as like the way he speaks, the way he engages, the way, people like the way he engages, the

way, you know, people like, this is the problem we're having right now with Trump and Biden. Trump, of course, is even more demented and full of dementia. But they're around the same. But Biden wears it horribly. He shuffles and he looks fucking old as dirt. And Trump is more dementia than Biden? Yes. You didn't just say that.

You said the really comfortable people. Trump, are you like Trump more than Biden? No, no. Me, you can. In the area of dementia, there's a lot of things you could say, did you really? Did you see what Trump said this weekend? The whole thing about Nancy Pelosi and Nikki Haley.

Right. And then he, you know, somehow, someway, everybody from the media comes on and says, no, no, no, that wasn and Nikki Haley. And then he somehow, someway, everybody from the media comes in and says, no, no, no, that wasn't Nikki Haley who shut down and controlled security. It was Nancy Pelosi. But to say the measure between the two, have you like, Biden, you listen to 100 speeches.

You can't even, he can't even go through his speeches. Yeah, this whole subject, I feel like, is kind of the red herring of the speeches. Yeah, you know, this whole subject I feel like is kind of the red herring of the election. It never engages me that much because like I know who Biden is and I know who Trump is. We've both seen them a lot and yeah they're both not at their life's peak for them And it's sort of baked in and I don't think, does it really make me think that it's affecting how Biden makes decisions and runs the country? No, it's not.

He doesn't look good running for president. He doesn't look good publicly as president. That's not the important part of being president. The important part of being president is the decisions you make in small rooms where there aren't people around to look at you stutter and where you're not as nervous. And when you don't have to make a speech, you can just listen to advisors and use your wisdom.

That's the key part of being present. And you think he does that? Biden, yes, absolutely. You really believe he does that? What do you mean you really believe? So, so, so, so, so, so, like it's like a, like a, a, a, a mechanical. Yes, I, yes, you really believe? Like it's like a mechanical. Yes, people really believe it. Like half the country, things,

he's done a pretty good job. Being fair, giving like what you're dealt with as president and where we are, really, what is so like hard to believe, excuse me, about I think Biden did a good job. Because what, the economy went in the toilet? Because we're like losing a lot of our own troops overseas, no, things are fucking good.

You think things are good? Oh, Jesus. So you know, Bill, that's the part of the world. What are you worth? What am I worth? Yeah, I was worth plenty before Biden. Biden didn't do the money for me. What are you worth now?

Ballpark. A few million dollars. A few million dollars. But you're bitching things aren't good. Oh, I'm not bitching. You said things aren't good. Well, no, no, I'm not sitting here for me. My life's gonna be good no matter who the president is.

I'm not sitting here worried about my life. I don't think you're gonna, I think you were fine under Trump. I think you're gonna be fine under Bush. I think you're gonna be fine under Obama. I think you're gonna be fine no matter who. So there's gonna be a percentage of people no matter who is president.

Oh, I take your point. Yeah. The rich always, yes. I think the those who bring value to the market and they have a niche, they're always gonna do well. That's evergreen, right? But at the same time, you know, when you... So what was your niche that brought you that?

The money? Well, you said when you have a niche, and I know exactly what you mean, that's the genius of the businessmen, like figuring out what the crowd's going to buy, sometimes even before they know they want it, like the iPhone. Yeah. You don't even know you want it, but once I show it to you, you're going to want it. Because it's all about, so what is it that you created that people want it?

I get out of the military. When I get out of the military, I start working. I'm working in Stanley Deanwood. Our military. US Army, Hunter First Airborne. Yes, not the Iranian military. I was a spy. You're not working for the Assyrian.

No, but I will tell you, one time I was an outlaw. When that empire strikes with those big catapults. Well, I mean, if we had an empire, our empire fell a long time ago, 2000 plus years ago. But a Cadyan empire also back then, and the Hittites. Let's never forget about the Hittites. Yeah. So anyways, I'm in Alabama one time when I'm in the Army.

I go to this place, Waffle House. And, you know, I have a big nose, middle eastern nose. We're gifted. You and I were gifted. No, you don't bigger than mine. But we're gifted. It's fine. It fits your face perfectly.

I love it. I'm okay with it at this point. But I'm at Alabama. I'm bald. And Army uniform, you know, we go to Waffle House and the lady looks at me and says, you know, why are you wearing our uniform? I said, because I'm in your military.

She says, but where are you from? I've never seen somebody look like you. Really? I said, I'm from Iran. I said, you've never met an Iranian before? She said, I've never met an Iranian before. She says, what are you doing in our military? I said, can I trust you? Of course you can trust me. I said, I've never met an Iranian before. She says, what are you doing in our military? I said, can I trust you?

Of course you can trust me. I said, I'm a spy. Everything I'm learning to take back to Iran. Why do you think I would join the army? No, but there was a lot of people in the army that were worried the fact that an Iranian is in the US military. No, I get out of the army, I wanna be a bodybuilder.

My dream was I was gonna follow Arnold's footsteps, go on Hollywood, marry Kennedy, and then run for office and stuff like that. And then on Tuesday. Yeah, and then on Tuesday, I met a girl named Jean Vierre who works at Morgan Stanley. I go to Morgan Stanley, Dean Witter, I start working there, I get my Series 7, 66, 31.

All the licenses and then I stay for the next three. So you were like a Wall Street superstar. No, from there I left to insurance, World Financial and Trans American in October of 99 starting my own insurance company. I grew to- Insurance company. An insurance company.

Why did you think the dough was there? I mean, obviously it's a good business because people like to be assured. I think it's- You could have called it a Syrian assurance. You would you have trusted, could I have sold you a policy? Yeah, but that other lady probably no.

Okay. But you know, sometimes that, I mean, first of all, it's very easy and of course the woke love to posture. So they would be like appalled and there was something appalling about her asking you that question. There's also something just fairly, I wouldn't say innocent, but she's not trying to be a dick. Of course she's not. Right. She literally is, it just doesn't compute because she's only been surrounded by Americans. Like, yeah, why would we? Like,

it is a little counterintuitive. Put it that way. To summon maybe in her place in life and where she grew up, how she grew up, what she saw, there is something counterintuitive. To see. Can I see your papers please? Yeah, can I see your papers please? Can I see your brochure to begin with? Yeah, I mean, listen,

we were just having a conversation earlier during lunch, you know. I didn't want the Orinians to love me. No, no, you know what the conversation was about. When I walked down the street in Westwood, mobbed. You were? No, I'm not mobbed, but I feel like they, these are the people who come up to me and go,

but they'll be like, please keep saying what you say about Islam, because that's why I'm here. I wanted to leave that stuff. You know, having to wear the... How much heat could get for that? How much heat should get for war? Well, that issue has been very... I mean, there was a lot of heat.

Of course, that's a very hot issue. But I mean, as an issue, now with the Israeli war going on right now, that brought it back, but it's still not, people still don't really zone in on the Islam of it all in that conflict, the way they did after 9-11. So after 9-11, and I had a book about it that was out, and it was, I got fired for a comment about 9-11.

You know, that's when it was like, for that first decade of Bush going into it, that's when that issue was ascended. Now, it just hasn't come up a lot, but it could now with the Israeli thing. So when you're out there, people are not stopping you and pissed off at you or your positions you've taken at things you say.

It's amazing that even though I realize that millions do not like me, or the things I say, first of all, I don't care, because millions do. So fuck the ones who don't, there. But the people who don't like you never come up to you. I know they're out there. But I never really even see a dirty look. I just think you're, it's like, yeah, you know,

I think out here in Hollywood and Washington and New York, the chattering classes, I think people yak about this kind of little bullshit, much more than they do in the middle of the country. Because, you know, for me, okay, somebody maybe on a different political side maybe says a position, I can see them being like, okay, I understand why you would believe that.

But for someone like you, when you had the one show with, who was it, Sam Harris and Ben who was sitting to your right. And that's the main clip that a lot of you, okay, but that's not right, Ben, you're not right. 75%, 25%, but what are you? Are you the guy that knows everything about Islam? Samir says, yeah, this is actually what I study in that whole exchange, right?

We've all seen that. But then Salman Rushdie, what happens with that? And I know you've been friends with him and Satanic verses and the book and what Khomeini did, Fatwa and all that stuff. And into the day. Nobody like him, Sal. Salman Rushdie. in what way I just

such a great guy you know just a true intellectual who you can go to the ball game with you know it just funny personality yes open yeah you know he's just you know he's he's the best version of what you think so the last guy how much are you talking? How much have you been recently talking about? Israel, Hamas, are you talking about that a lot on the show and the podcast or no? Have you not ever seen my show?

I watch your, not this one, but I watch your show at HBO a lot. And the clips- You couldn't have watched it recently because that's all we've been talking about. That's why I'm asking you the question at the beginning. If I'm watching this stuff that I'm asking at the beginning, you don't get a lot of tension out there when you go out there.

Muslims don't come up to you and people don't come up to you upset with your position that you're taking? Well, I just said to you, Muslims, like at least the Iranian people, I think this is, yeah, it's happened with other people who are Muslim but not Iranian, have said to me. But I think it's mostly the the women with the you know, like I came in here I came to this country to get away from that So it's good that someone someone who's considered a liberal is being clear-eyed About Islam. It's not like other religions like in the sense that it's more fundamentalist. It's much more where Christianity was 500 years ago, where the Pope was very important

and people followed what he said. If you really believe something, it's frightening when that thing that you believe is, death is okay. As one of the Israeli generals said about Hamas, you can't scare them because they wanna die or they think that's good. Modernism is a very hard thing to fight. Do you ever surprise at the number of students?

You don't agree with it? Well, no, listen, we had Bassem Yosefon last week and the amount of heat that that brings, I had two Muslims on the podcast and two Christians debating the views and it was again the level of heat and messaging. It almost seems like...

That sounds to me like it must have been a lot of cross yelling. Like yelling while you... Yeah, I would say 30% of it was. But I would say 70% of it was actually very interesting and revealing because as the debate's going back and forth... I can't get through the yelling now. No, I understand that. 20% of it was actually very interesting and revealing because as the debates going back and forth. I can't get through the yelling now. No, I understand that.

My old show, Politically Incorrect, was for people and occasionally that would happen a bit, not often, but I've been in those kind of situations where they're just, you know, they're just, you can't hear what people are saying because they're, it's just a contest. Who can like not stop talking? If I stop talking, the debates that the candidates have, that's all it is. It's like, people aren't listening to the ideas. It's just like, if I talk, especially when there's like

eight of them, you know, it's like, I have to show I'm strong by not stopping talking first. Because if I stop talking first, this guy will be, do you like the format? Do you like our current format, the way we have it with debates? Oh, they're ridiculous. I mean, they're not debates.

They give a, you know, it's a, you've seen them. It's just, it's at the beginning especially, it's very much like reality TV where there's a bigger field at the beginning and you kind of weed out the true losers. But at the beginning to get attention, it's a lot of coming up with the zinger or some sort of gotcha thing.

Joe Biden was for-bussing or against it or whatever it was back then and why, it's just stupid shit, performative. And then, you know, I mean the people make their choices and I don't think they really make them on the ideas or what the candidate is saying because I don't think they think government can really accomplish what it says it's going to do anyway. on the ideas or what the candidate is saying, because I don't think they think government can really accomplish what it says it's gonna do anyway. So they're using that kind of discussion of the issues as just a barometer to see,

does the guy look like he can lie to us, which he's going to do, but also do the right thing. You know, can he thread that needle like Obama did and all the really good politicians, Reagan and thing. You know, can he thread that needle like Obama did and all the really good politicians, Reagan and Clinton, you know, can he, can he like generally keep the shit to shoe level and make good decisions and yeah, I don't like everything,

but, and I mean, Jesus, these two guys. But back to the original, no, Biden's not done a bad job. Why do you think he has? What's so awful? So when Trump was becoming a 2016, when he was gonna be president, everybody said World War III is gonna get started. Do you trust him with the nuclear button?

What if he starts this? What if he starts that? Everybody's like, oh my God, into the world? War has come. Everybody was worried about it. This guy's gonna be a dictator. That's all mainstream media ever talked about. Then he's president, two and a half years, nothing. COVID then happens, of course, things change.

It was a surprise to everybody. Zero wars, zero issues, ISIS disappears, temperature for war is down, economy is doing well, everybody's happy. COVID happens rather than choosing to, you know, put the onus and the responsibility on China. What do we do? We put it on Trump, Trump's the enemy. Then America gets more and more and more divided.

When 9-11 happened, we didn't say it's Bush's fault. We said 9, except for Michael Moore. When 9-11 happened, we didn't say it's Bush's fault. 9-11, except for Michael Moore. When 9-11 happened, we didn't say it's Bush's fault. 9-11 happened, we said, the enemy's out, America united. So I think we had an opportunity to be united during COVID. I think we missed the mark by picking on that guy. And then it was, you're a Democrat, you're Republican, I'm supposed to hate you.

And then there was division. Then Biden gets elected. And I was like, this guy's gonna be the president of peace. Really? Yeah, okay, cool, let's see. He's gonna be the one that's gonna bring peace. Shambles with Afghanistan. Then you got Ukraine and Russia. Then you got Israel and Hamas.

Yeah, okay, I get it, you're on the red team. I'm not, I don't have a team like this. This is not about the red team. It really is, because it's like, it's so easy to like pick a part every Afghanistan I feel like that's such a bullshit one. Yeah, did they did they stick the landing? No, they didn't they did not stick the landing on Afghanistan I'm not a million percent sure that it would have gone differently

However, who however they did it whoever did it, but no probably somebody could have done it in a more efficient way. What I know is he was going to have the guts to do it, which needed to be done. Nobody else would rip off the band aid. But just in general, these sort of like- Trump was gonna do it in May and he was gonna do it in a different way. You know, so maybe let me ask a question.

Different way with you. Okay, but you know, this rosy picture of Trump that you paint, like, again, I don't know why it has to be so red team, blue team. I'll give you that the worst things that could have happened under Trump did not. You're right. He did not nuke a hurricane as he once proposed or thought about. That alone should be scary enough that he considered it. There are good people around him.

I'm glad there's good people around him who will convince him that you can't nuke a hurricane. But that is the kind of stable genius you think was a good president or you want back there. That doesn't keep you up at night. So like did he do that? No, doesn't mean he wouldn't in the future. He's insane in a lot of ways, truly insane. And he, yes, the economy, not a hard thing to do if you do that kind of Republican, you know, tax slashing of the richest. It does put a lot of money in society, of course they get most of it back. But Biden's the one who had the harder job, which was making sure the economy didn't crash

after the pandemic, which I thought it would. I said, how can you spend $6 trillion more than we spent on World War II in just a couple of years? And soft landing, I mean, well, you know, I could give you the stats, but if Trump was president, you don't think he would be bragging about this economy? You don't think he would be bragging about this economy. You don't think he would be bragging about those numbers?

It's interesting, you say. The stock market, the unemployment level, inflation going down. No, I think, listen, I think... Isn't that all true? I think, I think... Oh, you're such a politician. You can't just answer the question. No, I actually, I think your voice became so big the last three years, and I think you've gotten so many things on that you have a massive Republican and conservative

and libertarian listeners. I know, because right, you're right. Why do you think though? Why do you think that is? Because I call out the left on their bullshit. Which bullshit? The left? No, I know, but what part of the bullshit? I agree. Oh. So, you know, the whole thing you said by the next 20 years we're all gonna be gay,

that one thing they did that went by, that was phenomenal, right? You gave out stats, it was data-driven, 0.07% additional stuff. Well, I mean, that was a joke at the beginning. But then you said, No, of course, I understand what you're talking about. It was about the trendiness that there is an,

why, you're asking me why they like me. I'll tell you why, because take an issue like that. There was a sensible answer there that is not what either side is saying, which is that trans is of course a real thing. Some people are just born and they feel like, not like the body they have put it that way. And that's a real thing. Some people are just born and they feel like not like the body they have, put it that way. And that's a real thing. And they should be allowed to enjoy a great

life with no judgment and support and sometimes actual surgery if that's your choice. I'm a libertarian. Do what you want with your body body as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. And there's an element now that is also trendy. Both things are true. But of course, you know, if you say that, you don't have a team and I don't want either one of those fucking teams. That's why they, but by the way, so libertarian.

That's the truth, it's somewhat trendy. Yeah. Kids are just doing it sometimes because the grossest thing to be would be anything hetero or cis. I think it's weird. I think it's very weird. So that's one.

So you brought that up. And that got a lot of parents left, right, middle. Doesn't matter where you are who have kids. They're like, look, I just want my kids to be good. I'm not trying to celebrate and force my kids and say, thank God I got a gay kid. I'm so happy. If the kid is gay, he's gay, not just celebrating the fact that he is gay.

Let me help you become even more gay than you are. That's a little weird. I mean, I've seen gay people hung from cranes in Iran. Yeah, I lived there 10 years. I'm saying. I know, the biggest comedian, they killed him, they cut his dangle and go, I'll put it in his mouth. Is that right?

Yeah, in Germany, at a hotel. But so, so, so let me go back to. They cut his dickangle and put it in his mouth. Is that right? Yeah, in Germany, at a hotel. So let me go back to... They cut his dick off and put it in his mouth. That's such a mob thing to do. That isn't. You know who did that? The same people, a lot of these guys support with Hamas and the Iran funded the militias that's being created, they did that to that comedian.

There's a lot of vicious things that happened during that, but I want to stay on this topic with you. I'm curious because I think You were one of the most necessary voices the last three years and I said this in a video earlier We talked about in the podcast all the time. I put you in the camp of you Rogan it's like ten names that I put up super necessary because You're not supposed to have the positions that you have. Then you said, you sat with Seth MacFarlane, phenomenal conversation, the one that you had. I watched that one.

Then he had Jimmy Kimmelon. I love the fact that he came on the podcast. I applaud him that he came on and he actually sounded reasonable when you guys were talking. And the COVID vaccine position you took, and you said you took one for the camp. You took one for the team, right? Took one for the team.

Right, so you took one for, so you didn't want to take it for the team. I mean, that's a little, being a little more charitable than I deserve. I did take one for the team, but I also did it for myself because if I hadn't have done it, I just could not have lived my life.

They wouldn't have let me within 20 feet of the building that I work. You think that's okay? No, I don't. Yeah, but that's the position. No, I don't. Yeah, but that's the position. No, I don't. I resent it to this day. But I also again, believe in some level of compromise.

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That's a lower-lander. And then the level you come up is what? Courage, you have the courage to have the conversation and we have a dispute and disagreement and we hash it out, right? Well, we got the courage to talk about it. You got the courage to have Kid Rock here, you have the courage to have, you've had everybody here, Steven A. Smith here.

Hitler. You haven't had him yet, but you've had the courage to have a lot of people here, right? That's courage, then it's acceptance that we're different. Right. Then willingness to talk. Right. And the ability to reason.

And then it goes to love and a few other levels this book talks about. Yeah. I think if we put levels of consciousness by political party, I think libertarian is probably in the middle. It's kind of like, look man, do what you want to do. I accept the differences.

I'm willing to have it out. But I think the left falls below 200 level of consciousness because it's a lot of force. And you better, we know what's right for you and you don't, there is no reason on the left. Oh, sweetheart, you are preaching to the converted here. This is, I'm always bitching about this. I do not- You're supporting Biden though. Of is, I'm always bitching about this. I do not.

You're supporting Biden though. Of course, because we only get two choices. I mean, what is so hard to understand about bad and worse? They forced America to take the vaccine bill. 70% Americans took the vaccine and they didn't want to take it. What, what? A lot of them. Wait a second.

When did the vaccine come about? Under Biden? No, under Trump. No, no, it didn't want to take it. A lot of them didn't want to take it. Wait a second. When did the vaccine come about? Under Biden? No, under Trump. No, no, it didn't. Two days after election was over with. Two days after election was over with. If Pfizer announced it was not under Trump. They intentionally kept the vaccine

after the election so they gave the victory to all Biden. But Trump was not anti-Trump was like, I created the vaccine. I don't disagree with you. I agree with you. It takes it as a victory. I'm you. I agree with you. Oh, I said as a victory I'm we I'm on the same page with you. Okay, but but there's a difference to this is the one difference bill But may I say this may I say this and then and then push back here's a difference You know what the difference is how many times have your Trump get on stage and brag about warp speed

We say the hundred million people's lives right? Yes. Yeah, simple yes or no question. Yeah We're not exactly yes or no, but who are you voting for? I'm voting for whoever allows me to make decisions more and not somebody that decides what's good for me or not. Bro, we're not in a debate here. No, no, no. The left question is to get the vaccine. Wait a second.

The state of California and the industry you're in forced you to take the vaccine. So you don't know who you're voting for? I'm voting for whoever allows me to have more freedom with the choices I make. And we, you don't know that yet? It's definitely not going to be Biden. Well then it would be Trump, wouldn't it? If it's between the two choices? What? But look at you, you're, are you kidding me?

It's not even a close call, by the way. But the fact that you just can't own it is very weird, man. You know, this like, who are you voting for? Well, the Constitution says, it's two words, Trump, Biden, I'm voting for Biden, I'm owning that. Do I think he's perfect? No. But I don't think it's like that.

I think it's not even. I don't think it's like that. I don't think it's like that. Well, just say you're for Trump. If a person watches my- I don't think it's like that. I don't think it's like that. I don't think it's like that. Well, just say it for Trump. If a person watches my- I don't dislike you for you. But Bill, if somebody watches my podcast, they're gonna know who I'm voting for. If somebody watches a podcast, they're gonna sit there-

But how odd that you can't just say it then. Because to me, I'm voting based on values. I'm not voting based on- Okay, but we know what the values are of Biden and Trump and their policies. You're right. We know everything about them. The left is about force, the right is about choice.

I don't wanna be forced- Again. To have to do something I don't wanna do. I get that. You seem to think that that is the soon and bottom of all political issues. It is a very important one to me. There are other ones such as what's above force versus

versus freedom. Crazy person in the White House. According to who? Again, well, it's my opinion. That's right. Vote. It's like it is. Set that aside. Set that aside. My let's go 2028 candidacy. Then it's not going to be Trump or Biden. Forget about the name. And we's not going to be Trump or Biden. Forget about the name.

And we don't even see a faceless candidate. Put a faceless candidate, Bill. So we don't have a name, right? That's faceless. What values are important to you? Force or freedom? We're not talking 24. We're going 28.

I mean, it's all good to be a reductionist, but I'm sorry. I don't find it intellectually honest among the things I don't find it to think you can reduce the entire election and our way of life to two words. It's just too much more complicated than that. But if I don't want to be forced, you're right to do anything that I shouldn't do, but I understand why they have to force me to like not shoot you or force me to pay taxes,

or force me to do a few things. And the things like the vaccine are where we start to disagree. And to me, it's even more fine than that because there are pathogens that could potentially cause us to really need to make everyone take it. I was just reading that they are, because of global warming, the permafrost, which has not been thought out for, you know, eons, is going to melt. And there are organisms there that go back so far that we humans have no contact with them.

So zero resistance. So this would be like the Satan bug if it got out, which is very possible that it could because there's not enough to worry about. So I thought I'd throw that in the hopper. But no, really, I mean... Funny. But that's a real thing.

You're using the 0.1% in the next fear porn. They're selling us like, oh my God, this next thing has 100% possibility of killing everybody. And you know, let's fear about the next thing that this happens percent possibility of killing everybody and you know, let's, let's fear about the next thing that this happens and X and all this other stuff. I always say it's a case by case basis. I, when it happens, that's why I feel like I have credibility or should have with the people on the other side of this debate. What do you think?

I'm drinking tequila. Would you like some? I would mind some. Oh please. Let me put this over here. Ice, right there. Yeah, you just make it whatever way you're... Oh, all right. What were we talking about? Something very important. We're talking about how funny you are and how necessary of a voice you are. Thank you I was just, thank you, but what was I just, you were talking about how much you love Trump and I was trying to tell you you're delusional. No. I mean, but you, like, you, have you never been in politics because you honestly don't take this the wrong way, but you do strike me as a politician the way you, like, the fact that this conversation went on as long as it did, and I still didn't know who you were voting for,

and still, and then couldn't get you to say it. I mean, this is like therapy time, man. Don't you think? You know, if you have to realize, Bill, the difference between my life and what I've seen, and maybe what others have seen, what maybe gives me slightly a different unique perspective. Oh, you're gonna play the Assyrian card?

No, not at all. No, no, I'll tell you. I'll tell you, if you're interested, I'll tell you a little bit about upbringing and then you can dissect it as much as you want. Oh, the Assyrians had it rough, I know. Zero, I'm not even gonna go with Assyrian. No, my mother's side.

See, Kellers have a flower Assyrian. Do you know my mother's side, what their number one book was that they swore by? What? It was a communist manifesto. My mother, they flower as you're Ian. Do you know my mother's side? What their number one book was that they swore by what was communist manifesto my mother they're all coming really my mother's side Russian they're Armenian Russian. They love communism. I thought they were from Iran, but they're escape today party Are you familiar with the today party in Iran in the 70s? No, the today party were the communists of Iran Well, they was called a today party and I hear they were very up to date They were They were communists and my dad said they were imperialists, okay, well, they were communists back in the day today today

How much of this have you had because you're already Just that was the first shit. And boy, was it good. No, no, but the point is there's certain fears that life has caused for me in paranoia that maybe somebody else is not. But you were 10 when you left? I was 10 years old when I left. So what did you see when you were a kid?

What did I see? I lived in Tehran. We got bombed 167 times in a single day. We escaped. Bomb by who? By Iraq, Saddam Hussein. Oh, this was during the eight to? This was during the eighties. Yeah, during the war.

So I was born. Well, let's catch our listeners up. From 1980 to 1988, Iraq and Iran fought a war against each other. I lived in the capital, eight years. Right. Which should be amazing for folks like who are younger and just maybe saw the Iraq war and saw, okay, the Iraq war was all about, it was a Shiite country mostly,

but Saddam Hussein was a Sunni, so he was ruled by a Sunni. And Iran is, of course, the major Shiite country, so Iraq and Iran should have been natural allies. They're both Shiites. And yet they fought a war against each other. And yet Saddam Hussein was able to make his Shiites fight their Shiites.

Now it's basically the same country because once we stupidly kick Saddam out, who's gonna take the lead? I mean, Iran basically has, I mean, they have all that, that's kind of an empire. Syria, Lebanon, Hezbollah and Lebanon, Syria, they're in Iraq, of course, and so from all the way from Iran,

all the way on the border of Pakistan to the Mediterranean Sea and the Houthis in the South. That's something to be concerned about. You think? Maybe a little bit? Right, yeah. No, are you, could you travel there? Do you travel?

No, I don't travel there, because I was in the army here. Because you would be persona non grata because they threw you in jail? No, because I would be seen from the Shahs because I support the Shah and I was never supportive of, oh, what Carter and them did to influence the fall

of the Shaw because Iran was a beautiful place. You know, it was a place, the wealthy would go for vacation, beautiful mountains for skiing. Iran was a beautiful place back in the days, pre-Komani. Perfect, gotta tell those two. So do you know what I was doing the summer after I got graduated college? I'll tell you.

I went to Europe with my college sweetheart. What year is this? This is 1978. This is your year I'm born. Okay. So, my college sweetheart, finally got a girlfriend last year at college. We didn't want to leave each other. She worked, she was a linguistics major.

She worked every summer at this Collège de l'Émoi, Geneva, beautiful Geneva. And she got me a job working there with her. So we could be together over the summer. I fucking hated every minute of it, but there are other reasons why. But the students we were teaching, this was a wealthy school,

and this was the summer school. They were from all over the world, but they were rich kids. There were some Italians, there were some Japanese, but this is 1978. A lot of it was Iranian kids going to Geneva for the summer and Saudi. They would come with rolls of $100 bills.

One day was like shopping day. They would wear clothes once and throw it away. But like, it's funny that the Saudi kids were like from the 9th century. And the Iranian kids were like from the 1950s. That's what I remember thinking. They looked like leather jackets and they were much... Twenty years behind. Twenty, but not 2000. And like the Saudi kids, I mean the boys would,

in the park they'd hold hands, I mean teenage boys, one would like be sitting down and the other would put his head in his lap. They did not see that as, you know, we would say, no, that's perfectly fine, but we would say that's a gay. That wasn't a case then. They just, there was an innocence to them, I would say that's a gay. That was in a case then. They just, there was an innocence to them. I would say that.

Yeah. But that was really interesting to teach these kids from these countries. Oh, and what happened was the revolution in Iran happened that summer. Like something happened when all the Iranian kids went screaming and yelling to the phones. It was like four banks of phones and something,

and I think that's when, do you remember what month it was? Well, it would have to have been like summer, like. Yes, summer 78. Wow, that's the peak. That's, I think it must have been Something the Shah I mean that's around the time that the Shah fell and shot fell January of 79 okay, yeah, right. So that was heke is like October in September which was Absolutely insane what was going on in Iran? I remember he went to Panama and he also had like cancer

He did have cancer. He died a few years later. He was trying to, you know, imagine trying to like keep yourself exiled above from being, you know, assassinated and also fighting cancer at the same time. He had it since 1973, but nobody knew. He kept it to himself. 1973 and then he died.

Now we do know that he was a brutal dictator who like abided no descent and secret sabbakh. What do you think? Does that name ring a bell? Of course, yeah. That's the secret. I had a son on the podcast. We did a three hour interview two months ago, crown prince of Reza Pahlavi.

We had a conversation together. Oh, his son? Yeah, his son, crown prince Reza Pahlavi. I thought it was Pahlavi, was their name. Pahlavi, Pahlavi. Pahlavi. But Americans say Pahlavi. prince Reza Palavi. I thought it was Palavi was their name. Palavi, Palavi. But Americans say Palavi. We say Palavi. Of course. Of course. No, I get it. Yeah, Palavi. No, no, it's okay. It's all right. Yeah, I used to call them Saladin and then I realized then I heard it. Salahadin was the... No, I mean listen, it's Ghassam Soleimani, right? And say, Soleimani, you know, Americans will always pronounce it in the different way. We pronounce it about this the guy we took out

That's right, and it kind of made America a little bit more safer and you know the country I was all for it us and and That's why America's temperature was like people didn't want to mess with America. Don't forget who took out bin Laden Yeah, okay. What's your point though? My point is that the Biden is Obama. I'm sorry, Obama is Biden. Obama is not Biden. Biden is not Obama. The Obama gets to I get it. You don't like Biden. I you know, I look, I wish it was a different. Do you like Newsome? How do you feel about Newsome? Had him on my show Friday. I saw that. And I I first of all, I love him. Just you just like a guy or you don't.

I've known him for a long time. He's done my show for a long time. Do I love everything he does as a governor of California? No, I don't. I wouldn't say I'm undertaxed. Yeah, I have issues with this state. He's got, one reason I want him to run for president, well, it's because he's obviously a winner

This guy could fucking do it. It's insane that we have the guy, but we can't run him because we have to tiptoe around Biden and the final winner Well, he won the election. Oh, so so he would win the election. He's a talented debate or speaker communicator Yeah, and politician and he's a smart guy. He's a smart, real guy with a pair of balls. Do I love everything? No, you never know what to do with a politician. But first of all, I think if he ran for president, it'd be great because it would force him to move to the center.

Now you're running not just in California. I mean, this is California. It's weirdo, Will. Are you a results-driven guy? No, I like to think, watch things the fault of part of GARTA? You wouldn't build a show that you build and win at the levels you won for decades if you weren't results-driven, right?

I mean, you're Bill Maher. What do you mean, what's the point about results? It's exactly where I'm going with you. So results, so results-driven guy. Right. What areas has Newsome won in? You said he's a winner. Winner of the election.

He could win the election. But based on what, though, do you want results? Like what has he done to California to say he's a winner? Oh, God. I don't know. It's too... Bill, you're a smart guy. You know what?

He made it rain. Okay, dude, it wasn't raining. Someone said that. He said great stuff. And it wasn't raining, and now it's, okay dude? It wasn't raining. Someone said that he said great stuff. It wasn't raining and now it's raining, so he's got my vote. Okay, respect. I mean, he...

I don't know, I don't follow the news. That's a character I play on television. Don't be a fling. You're a very smart guy. You're a very smart guy. It's a character I actually live with my delicate wife, Sue, and our eight homeschool children. We just had twins, Sean and Hannity. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha other things we can talk about is you base your character on your candidate, you base

your candidate based on being a good debater, deflecting not necessarily results. No, I don't. If that's how you do it, then Newsom is fantastic, Bill. This is stupid. You're better than this. Really? I hope, I don't know, I'm just getting into it, but I told you are. I mean, that's a silly argument. Debater, you know,

like I can't tell. I've been doing political commentary on television for 30 years. I think I can tell when a guy is just debating or whether make a calculate guess on how he's going to be actually as president. There's two different things, running and being the guy. Do I like it that Newsom is good at the running part? I do, because that means he can get elected. Do I also think that if he got elected, he would be a good president? I do. Generally moving the country in the right direction, I would like to take him back a

little toward the middle, but based on what though? Based on what though, based on what? Well, you know, California is just kind of a crazy, you know, can't do, the taxes, the graft really is what is the, I was asking him about that. He says they're attacking it. The red tape, the graft, the fact that they can't build a fucking homeless home for less than $900,000. They couldn't complete a fucking high-speed rail. I'm going to say on my show Friday, this is going to be controversial, but Hamas, I

don't come over here and build our fucking tunnels because we cannot get it done. No, I'm serious. It's a win-win. If they would like renounce and say, we will not attack Israel, we will hire you to build infrastructure. These people know how to build a tunnel. Yeah, that's a... I mean, they've been building a tunnel on the east side of New York since 1972. Can you hear your guys laughing and listening to you? on the east side of New York since 1972.

You can hear your guys laughing, listen to me. So let me know, ask about your personal life. What kind of man do you like? How long do I like? You're married? I am. How long? 14 and a half years. You still like her?

Oh yeah. You love her? Oh yeah. You love her? Oh yeah. It's easy to love, hard to like. I think- You know what I mean? Yeah, of course, absolutely. Love is different.

Like you got it. I think both is necessary though, yeah. Both is necessary, absolutely. A lot of people do keep it going long after they don't really like the person, you know? And people also get together when they don't like the person. I did it a billion times when I was young and it was just like, oh, you're pretty and you would with me?

Okay, I like you. Yeah. We'll work out the details later. But thank God now that I'm 40, I've... You look great for 40. Thank you. Happy birthday. How old are you? I'm 45, I've... You look great for 40. Thank you. Happy birthday. I'm 45, I'm five years older than you.

Fuck you. Yeah. Everybody's younger than me. Is it, there's a point where you get to where like, if you're in a room with like somebody older, you're like, oh good. Yeah. Great, Kirk Douglas.

Yeah. Yeah. But, so you're married for 14 years? 14 years, yeah. 14 kids? We got four kids. Four kids? I'd have 20 if I could.

We got 11. Why do you want 20 kids? 10, 7, 2. Why do you want so many kids? What's the purpose of living if you don't have kids? Seriously? Yeah. Well, okay.

Again, the way you frame it is just off-putting because it's like assuming all of us, and we're so varied as a human race, that all of us think the same way. So for many millions and millions of people, the purpose of living is to avoid having children, is to enjoy your life. Now it's perfectly fine if your choice is to trade your life for someone else's, which is really what, if you're going to be a good parent, you kind of have to do. It's also perfectly okay to say, no, what's wrong is to have a child and then ignore them. I don't disagree.

I don't disagree. I don't disagree with that. No, of course no one disagrees with that. No, I don't disagree with that. No, of course not. But what I'm saying is the harder choices, or I don't think it's don't disagree with that. No, of course no one disagrees with that. No, I don't disagree with that. No, of course not. But what I'm saying is the harder choices, or I don't think it's a hard choice at all, should be thrust upon people, should not be thrust upon people to have children if they really are not suited for that.

As it used to be, a woman thought she was a complete failure if she didn't like, you know, fucking vomit out some spawn to to like God knows what in the world. Or, and some I'm sure are good people. But generally, I'm not that in love with the human race where I think like, whoa, what we need is more of them. Do you like kids? Do you actually like kids? What do you ask me this question for?

Of course I don't like kids. You ask me questions about kids. I'm asking you. Oh Jesus, but I just told you. Okay, no, I fucking hate kids. And I understand people, you can enjoy yours. I'm glad you like yours. And I understand we have to, I don't really have to,

but okay, if we wanna keep the human race going, we have to keep having children. It doesn't matter whether we should or we shouldn't. People are gonna do it. If there's one thing we know about this world is that people will fuck. They'll fuck anything, they'll fuck anybody. I was just watching that show,

that Jodie Foster, new detective show in Alaska. Like, when you're in Alaska, it's kind of a light motif. It's like, yeah, we're fucking a lot. We're in Alaska, we don't really care what the person looks like. It's just, yeah, we're fucking a lot. We're in Alaska. We don't really care what the person looks like. It's just, it's cold. And yeah, there's not a lot to do here, and we're gonna fuck.

What do you think about Alaska? Have you been to Alaska? I was to Alaska in 2013, enjoyed it immensely. It was in the summer. Had a blast over there, yeah. Oh my God, first of all, so pure, like pristine. Like when you draw, there wasn't any, it was just, it was, it was it was even ask it was there was

Because like the snow caps were melting so you would see this crystal clear water coming down from the mountain Then we took a helicopter over the You know glaciers Many which were dirty one was I saw one fall down It was both impressive and depressing. But yes, I did two shows. I did one in Anchorage, which is the big city. Is that the capital?

Yeah. Right, first it was Fairbanks, which is the second biggest city. It was awesome. It was like a Wild West show. It was like outside under a tent. I had to walk through mud to get to the stage. It was freezing, it was raining. It was like a wild west show. It was like outside under a tent. I had to walk through mud to get to the stage. It was freezing.

It was like summer time. It was summer time. July. People were under the tent, but there were other people on the hill and it was raining and they didn't give a shit. They stayed for the show. 2013. 2013. And then we went to Anchorage. And Anchorage, it was like the land that Time Forgot. It was like they did something to it in the 70s, and I'm sure it was really looked great in 1975. And I think it still looks great, but you could shoot a movie about 1975 there and not have to change a thing. Note to self, call Quentin Tarantino.

Because, yeah, and I don't mean that disparaging way. I love that you could see a moose walking down the street. Nobody cares, not a big deal, it's as if it's a regular Tuesday. Like I was a dog. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you're allowed to,'s like no gun laws. Like everyone has a gun like in their glove compartment. It's like your phone. But you know, it's a rough place. I don't know. But I thought a minute about like actually buying something there

because I got an M still, very concerned about global warming, or is that a hoax in your world? I don't know. I lose sleep over it every night. You what? I lose sleep over it every night. Warming up the globe. I don't know whether you're being facetious.

Oh my God, I shiver every night when I go to sleep. Are you global warming? I assume you're being sarcastic. I would be very serious. Why would I be sarcastic? I mean, global warming is the assume you're being sarcastic. I would be very serious. Why would I be sarcastic? I mean global warming is the number one issue in the world Okay, good. Do you agree with that? I do tell me why? See, I think you do

Why because a few worry about a few years ago someone did a Al Gore to Al Gore, yes, you're right, you're right David. You know what, it's a big hoax because Al Gore has a big house and sometimes he leaves lights on in it. Oh my God. No, they did, someone did a compendium of all the climate studies.

There was over 10, I think it was 10, 880, some number like that. And there was only two dissenting about the idea that climate change was real and it was happening and it was caused by humans. So that's a consensus. That's what you call a consensus. I mean, you and I are closer on the same page with vaccines and so forth. And that's because the human body is a lot more complicated and a lot more mysterious than climate science. That's why there's nowhere near that kind of consensus about how we treat any malady

in the human body. That is the bottom of the ocean. Not so with the climate. It's not that complicated climate. I mean, I couldn't do it, but climate science, its geology and its chemistry and its physics, it's not a mystery like why do people get Parkinson's disease. It just isn't. So, um, oh shit, what was your question?

Climate change, no, we were talking about climate change. Oh, climate change, yes. But when over 10,000 scientists all study the same subject and come up to the same and two don't, you can, yes, you can say there's a dissenting field, but they could fit on a motorcycle. So yes, I think it's very, and again, we see the results already. I mean, now, is it possible that we can raise the level of the ocean and not be met with disaster because of that? I guess it is. I mean, I guess there are things that could also change, but that's going to happen. It's kind of like when the

Titanic hit the iceberg and she talks to Victor Garber and he says, well, lady, I hate to tell you, but there's nine compartments on this ship. And if only four of them had flooded, we'd be good. But five did, and that means we're going down. We're just going to go down. So it's unlikely that you have some sort of lover you care about on the ship.

But if you do, now would be a good time to run. Get it done with you. Go do it now. This will be your last chance. on the ship, but if you do, now would be a good time to run. Get it done with, yeah. Go do it now. This will be your last chance. But no, we have hit the iceberg, I think. So, you know, those icebergs and stuff are melting. They will raise the, and it's a kind of a cycle because the worse you make it, the

worse you make it. So oceans and then less ice to absorb all that. And it's just throwing something off balance, not to mention the incredible decimation of species that we're doing. I don't know how many species you can kill. I mean, if it's just going gonna be chickens, dogs, and cats, it's gonna be bleak, and I don't know if you can even survive.

I think the ecosystem needs its component parts, although obviously it can sustain a lot of extinction because almost everything that ever was on Earth has been extinct. I mean, if everything that was ever alive was still alive, it'd be very crowded at the zoo. Earth has been extinct. I mean, if everything that was ever alive was still alive, we'd be very crowded at the zoo. Anyway, I'm concerned about the environment and I...

How do you think we fix this? So like, you know, we have, I think it's fair to say like, there's a lot of weird things going on too, weather's around the world, right? Not, you know, weather around the world. Hurricanes, you know, San Diego, you're seeing videos. And you say, oh, Germany, I was like, what is all this stuff?

I mean, this is too crazy right now to be looking at. The other day I'm in Fort Lauderdale, a tornado hit Fort Lauderdale. Okay, these are kind of weird things that's going on simultaneously. What's the solution? How do we fix it? You know, what is the approach to take it?

I think that becomes the question, right? You identify the problem, then you sit there and say, what is the solution? Yeah, I agree. Of course. I mean, that's exactly what we're talking about. And no, I don't think it's always about throwing money at the problem. I also don't think, this was something we did about a year ago, I also don't think that the method that we have basically been using or trying to use for the longest time, which is make people be good or want to be good, plainly is not working. I think the amount of coal we burned 30 years ago was like,

it was like 38% of the grid and now it was now it like the last year it was 37 you know like we shaved one point off of it. So I don't know what the answer is and I'm not encouraging people to be pigs but apparently they're going to be. It's just in our nature to be fucking pigs and to pig out on convenience and luxury and excess. You know, maybe it's because it gets you late. I don't know what the fuck, but people or make sure, I don't know, shopping

and people just like shit. They like buying shit and making shit and they just do. They like when they live their fucking life and sometimes the result is not great for the environment. Anyway, I mean, I fly in a private jet. You probably do too. I said before, I can be called a bad environmentalist. I cannot be called a hypocrite.

So I'm not gonna say I'm the greatest environmentalist, and I'm also not going to, I couldn't do these gigs I do. And I wouldn't even, even if I was taking it somewhere for pleasure, fuck that. You know what, I'm, yes, there's a certain part of me that's going to live life while I'm here. Look, if I thought it was really making a difference to the 8 trillion flights or whatever it is every day that are crisscrossing the globe, you know, make it illegal if it's really, and they're not going to do that. So the point, the bottom line point is that we're going to have to think of something because making humans not act selfishly is just, it's just, it's like, that's what communism tried to do.

It tried to make people not act selfishly. And that was never going to work. Humans are selfish. I think to me, what, that's the part of what I like about long form podcasts or debates is because the more we talk, if you can reason, you're gonna come to a conclusion.

And what conclusion do we come here from climate change? Neither one of us are experts in this topic. You're not a scientist, I'm not a scientist. We haven't spent 20, 30 years of our lives thinking about this. The science isn't the question. People know what the science is. When you're debating the science,

it means you just have a weak hand, and you want to do what you want to do, and that's fine. But the science is in. There's no debating the science anymore. That was my point about the 10,800 peer reviewed studies that all came to basically the same conclusion. The science is in on it. Yes, the debate is what do we do about it? Or do we just like, you know, tell them in Louisa and hold hands and drive off the Grand Canyon and say, you know what, as long as we're gone, I'm going to go out strong. Let me ask you questions. But I don't want to be the one to tell India and China, who have been watching the rest of the world pollute

forever, oh, you know, now, I'm so sorry, it's a very bad situation. You can't have refrigeration or air conditioning or cars because we used all that up. Sorry, that's not going to happen. They want it. Everybody in the world wants to live like Americans. So let me, so if somebody said, I want to, you know, salt, I want to go out there and address the issue of gravity. If I want to go out there and address the issue of gravity. If I want to go out there and gravity or something that no matter how much time you put into it or resources you put into, there are certain laws you can't do anything about. Law familiarity.

Okay. To me, this is my first time here, right? That's sick. Okay. That's a real cool couch. That sign is cool. I went back there and I looked at your engineer room. You have Make America Great Again,

you had George Bush toilet paper, you had Barack Obama, you had all this cool stuff. But to me, this is sick, right? Why is this sick to me? It's my first time here. But to you, you probably don't look at everything the same way I look at it, right? Because it's called law familiarity.

Right. Perfect. So, now what do we do? Do I sit there and judge you and I say, how dare you not be grateful for the amazing things you have around you? How dare you not, you know, be so familiar with your stuff? You ought to be grateful about that couch all the time. Law of familiarity says, I'm not going to change Bill Maher.

Bill is going to do what Bill is going to do, right? Okay. So, climate change debate, you know, we have a problem. This is what's going on. Fine. 10,800, you know, research, you know, scientists. Great. Let's agree on that. That's exactly what's going on. Now what do we do? So what if scientists come back and say the way for us to save civilization, we have to bring the population back down to 3 billion. Do you agree with that strategy? Oh, I'd love it. I'd like to take part in it.

You'd like to take part in it? Yes. There's way too many people. So you think there's way too many people? Of course. I mean, yes, not to fit, but for resources. See, this is the silly argument that the population expanders like to give.

Like, we've got plenty of room. Yes, of course we do. No, like we've got plenty of room. Yes, of course we do. No contest, we've got plenty of room. Should I ever fly over the country? It's mostly empty. Yes, like your head, mostly empty. That's not the issue. We could fit them in.

We can't feed them. They all shit. They use water. You can't grow water. There's already a water shortage in this world. There's a water shortage out here before Gavin got an office and made it rain He's a goat right is the greatest he's not the goat He could be the fucking 47th president. I don't disagree. I fully agree with you. I think if they you think

There's a but again what no what has Biden done? That's, what's the worst? Okay, I've got to say. Which story you want to, you, no, no, no, no. For me, look at this politician again. I just said, really, if you're not thinking about running for office, you should. I'm not at all. Well, you should. I wasn't born here.

I've noticed that. This is your natural skill. You think so? Deflecting it is. I think Newsom is, I think that's Newsom's ability. I think Newsom is phenomenal. I think noose made it fantastic politician. He could he could fully pull it off. That's what I just see the story today about my show as a politician for sure. Yes. But then I asked results and you

know winner and you got upset. You said you know that's that that to me there's a there's a part of it that's results. You know I haven't know. That's, to me, there's a part of it that's results- You know, I haven't studied his bio lately. I'm sure there are some things that we did here in California that benefited a lot of people. I, you know, it's a local- Yes, this question from- I don't watch the local news.

I can listen to you for hours. I can listen to you for hours. And I've listened to you for thousands of hours. You know, for, because I'm on the other side, I'm not a mainstream guy, you're a guy that's been around and we've listened to you over the years. And I think, like I said earlier during COVID, you really played a big role. You have conversations, others simply didn't have

the brass to have. Well, that's true. I'm gonna start a big fight about that one. Others didn't have the brass to have, but the results side when I'm asking, I'm simply asking, you know, California, for example, if you look at California, I lived here for 24 years. I went to Glendale High School. Glendale? I lived in class of 96. Yes, Glendale High School. Glendale, next to Pasadena, Glendale?

Right next to Pasadena. Nitros, class of 96. I did a stand-up special there once. At the high school? No, I did it, no. And some theater there in Glendale in 1994 or something. It was one of the- Do you remember the, is it Alex? Do you remember what the name of the theater was?

I have no idea. It was not a good choice of a venture. Really? Well, I wasn't as good a comic as I am now. And it was, yeah, Glendale. No, it was, I don't know, it was not my favorite, one of my specials. Anyway, go on with your story.

You grew up in Glendale. Glendale High School, I lived in Northridge. No, did they pick on you because you were Iranian? No, I got along with everybody. Good, I was a guy that got along with you. But didn't they get along with you? So you didn't? No, no, I get along with everybody.

I like people, I enjoy listening to people I'm getting to getting to know people but but think about it. So for me I lived here 24 years. And all of a sudden you know time magazine comes out with an article called United States of Texas. Okay. And Texas is doing this and Texas is doing that and Texas offers this governor Perry's coming down here, recruiting businesses away. Then I go to Texas, I move my insurance headquarters to Addison and we stayed there for five years

and then we moved to Florida, okay. So you've lived in Texas and Florida. I lived Texas five years, I lived Florida three years, I lived here 24 years, two years, Germany, 10 years, Iran and then couple years in Tennessee,, and Kentucky because of the army. But if you judge success, like on this show here, how do you judge success on this show or Bill Maher? Viewership, right? Eyeballs.

Well, I mean, if someone just thinks it's a show, that's quite a victory, because, you know. No, it's not, you get eyeballs. Absolutely, that's quite a victory, because, you know, no, it's not a good idea. Yeah, you get a high boss. Absolutely, that's certainly part of it. So what do you think people would say if your show started getting 200 views, instead of the millions of views it gets?

And they left you for, I don't know, they went to another show to watch and they're not watching you. Well, if it got down to 200, I hope I would have quit by then. I mean, I could get 200 in death. They could just run shit, you know. But if it did, what would they see?

I could beat a lot of people in death. Would you be considered a winner if this show went to 200 views? No, right? No. It would be like, okay, this guy's not getting results. Okay. Not a winner. And I'm going purely data, okay?

Go data, baby. Since 1851, the great state of California we all love, right? The first time it lost population from 1851, back to back to back to back, three years in Arizona, there are noosome, people left here. Right. Okay, so why did they leave?

That's a stat. They lost because of, this is when he was on Friday, this is what I was confronting him with. I didn't mention that because he gets that every time, so that's boring, but I was telling him about my issues with California, which are people's issues. Why do companies leave? Taxes are too high, too hard to start a building, a company, a building in San Francisco needs

87 permits before it can break ground. Maybe he was just being slick, but he certainly seemed to be reeling off the answer of, yes, I'm very aware of this, we are working on it, it doesn't make the press, but we are aware, and he seems to me to be a bright enough, caring enough guy to be able to identify that problem. I think he's a detailed guy, as Democrats usually are. Republicans are more a big picture guy.

Bush was like, we was attacked, war. Where, sir? I don't know, I don't know all the details. I just said war. You figure out the country. I don't know, Iraq, Iran, one of them, people where they wear the towel on the head. That was about it.

Reagan, same thing. If it didn't fit on a page, Trump said that. One page. Democrats treat government generally much more respectfully. Like, it's an actual job, which it is. A really detailed one. And when they know shit and get into the minutiae, things generally come out better.

And I think Gavin Newsom is in that tradition of Democrats who does that. Unlike your boy, who bases everything on whether the guy likes him. He said I was brilliant. I think I'll take the compliment and then just whatever. I mean that's dangerous. Yeah. So you gotta go?

No, I don't have to go. No, I'm enjoying this. But so if I'm glad you said that, the fact that Democrats like details more, last year, 2023, okay, since they like details, let's talk about some details. Oh, Jesus. You say Democrats are more about details, right? So I'm gonna give them credit for the details.

I can tell this is gonna be dumb, but okay. It's gonna be dumb. When it's details, it's dumb. No, it's not because it's gonna be, all right, Tom, maybe I'm misjudging. But go ahead, you tell me where you're thinking Bill Mar shows the greatest show in the world. It's it's dumb. So don't They don't said they didn't say I was the most trusted the top 50

I think I think you're you you you made a lot of impact last three years I'm gonna continue saying that because I fully believe that it's not going to change whether we conferred to change. Thank you. I but but top 50. I take the compliment. Top 50. Brilliant.

I mean, if that's what Trump that would be what you know, you're ready for top 50 states top 50 state is top 50 states for net migration. Best state is Florida, then is Texas, then is Tennessee. Worst state, 2023, California, then it's New York, then it's Illinois. Why are Americans leaving the states and going to rest in this? What you ask why? New Republicans and independents watch me now also because I'll be honest about entries like this, because for very good fucking reason. I know this on a personal level.

Someone who worked for me and really was happy here, but just had a baby and couldn't afford to stay here, moved to Oregon. Some of it is just that, very, very expensive this day. Now, part of that is because we try to do too much. Democrats are basically the ones that think government can do things. And very often it can't, it's asked to do too much. So you take a state like California,

which is completely run by the Democrats, you're gonna have that inclination go out of control. That's what I think about California. That inclination is out of control. Take a lot of their money. I mean, we went from like a $62 billion surplus to an $87 billion deficit, just like in a year and a half. I mean, we're playing with big fucking money. How do you do that? How do you do that? How do you do that?

Because it's just about revenues. It was all about revenues. It wasn't, didn't have anything to do with Newsom. The tax rate was the same. It's, see, you just, you seem to just look at like the very last stat on the sheet, like the bottom line one. And it's, there's a lot of truth that's buried in the details. Bill, I asked you a very basic question

and you haven't answered it. I asked you. I didn't. No, no, I asked you a very basic question and you haven't answered it. I asked you. I didn't. No, no, I asked you a question. I said, you said Newsom is a winner. And I said based on what? And I said, tell me results because your show is a winner based on data and based on, to you, Democrats like details.

Okay, detail driven, your show's killing it because you're getting eyeballs. Give specific victories Newsom's had. What is the victory? Is this how you argue with your wife? No, we have civil conversations. We enjoy each other's company. And I'm enjoying this. By the way, just so you know this, like this is how you meet your wife. How did I meet my wife? This guy named Gavin, we went to this restaurant called French Laundry and he introduced me to this wonderful lady, Jennifer, and that's how we met. No, my wife and I met June of 2002. I was in the bathroom

washing my hands. My friend Fernando Lasso comes in and says, there's a girl here who looks like Pocahontas. He says, yeah, there's a girl here named Pocahontas. It's okay. Her name was Pocahontas. No, he says he looked like Pocahontas. It's okay. Cola, I'd love to meet her. Her name was Pocahontas. No, he says he looked like Pocahontas. I'm like, why would you call her Pocahontas? She's a white girl from Texas. So I go into the meeting and I see her. She's talking to my girlfriend at the time.

I'm like, oh, wow. Oh, now I see why I call her Pocahontas. Here all the way down to her lower back. Sweet girl, come meet her. She's in a relationship. I'm in a relationship. And five and a half years later, for the first time, she's single.

I'm single. We date. How'd you kept up with her? We were in the same company, she was in another office. She was at Gore Hills, I was at Northridge. I mean, was she always wearing the Pocahontas outfit? No, no, she only, but she did do that one time, I think Halloween, but no.

So, you know, so. Well, it's an act. And anyway, so. You got the hair, you gotta do it. We go out, first date, P... You got the hair, you gotta do it. We go out, first date, P.F. Changs. P.F. Changs is where you took her? High roller, man.

When you make money, man, you take people to P.F. Changs. So what was this? Chicken lettuce roll-up? What was this, a test? No, it wasn't a test. You're testing her? Actually, I like P.F. Changs. This is back in the days when P.F. Changs had the noodle soup, the chicken noodle soup

that was spicy. I gotta tell you, whenever I wanted to know if a girl really liked me for me, I took her to P.F. Chang's. Really? Yeah, she can hang with that. Listen, are you thinking? So what is your... No, I've never been to P.F. Chang's.

What is it? Literally, you've never been to P.F. Chang's. No. Are you being sarcastic? I'm not being sarcastic. I'm never being sarcastic. No, I've never been sarcastic. Well, I mean, let me put it this way.

When I am, you'll know it. No, I've never been to P.F. Chang's I mean, let me put it this way. When I am, you'll know it. No, I've never been to P.F. Chang's. So P.F. Chang is like a, I don't even know how to describe P.F. Chang's. Like a, you know, Chinese food, chicken fried rice. Chinese food. It's a nice place. Yeah, I think Chinese food covers it.

I know Chinese food. I've had Chinese food. What's your favorite food? My favorite food, like if I was dying and I'd never worry. No, like you have huge shoes. I ask you, let's go out to dinner tonight. You pick and choose what's number one. Well, but again, that's why I say that, because like if I anticipate that I'm going to have

more months and years to live, I'm not going to eat just the food that I think is the most tasty and amazing food. Yeah. If I thought, well, I got nothing to lose, you know, I'd probably have meatballs and spaghetti every night. So meatballs and spaghetti. Well, yes. That's a very satisfying meal. But then again, you're part Italian. I don't have to tell you, right? You know, the Assyrians, very close in the close when you put the list of countries down, especially ancient

ones, Abyssinian. Abyssinian, they were the ones in Ethiopia. And who attacked them in 1936? The Italian Mussolini. Before World War II, right before World War II, Italy attacked and took over Ethiopia to talk about picking on the weekend on the playground. What did you major in, by the way? What was your major? You mean that's not common knowledge? What was your major? History. History.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's just always been my interest and if you're going to do politics, Yeah. you know, for real, you have to know history too because it's just the most current version. I mean, the newspaper is just the first draft of history. Did you ever have interest again to politics? Get into politics? No, no, no. Yeah, friends that aren't, I'm more like, did anybody say Bill wants you to get into it?

You'd be good to be. Oh, yeah. I mean, I've done bits about that where people said Bill Mars should run, run, no, no. Friends that are in, I'm like, did anybody say Bill wants you to get into it? You'd be good to be. Oh, yeah. I mean, I've done bits about that where people said, Bill Marsh and rum, rum, rum, rum. It's like, first of all, I have no interest. Second of all, I could never get elected. Anybody, nobody would, I mean, that would be a stupid campaign to take on. I mean, there are all the blocks, like the woke, oh my God,

they would vote anybody over me. Also the arch conservatives, religious people, I can't do it, yeah, but that's fine. No, I wanna be the anti-political. Political means bullshit. My side of the street is the exact opposite. And you have to get up in the morning and get married, and I mean, Jesus Christ, I mean, that's just horrible to run. And you have to get up in the morning and get married. I mean, Jesus Christ.

I mean, that's just horrible to run. But you, my friend, this is where the political talent in the room lies. Now you had there was a political talent last week. You know you're going to do it. You could be the sane Vivek. Zero. Zero.

How many people in this country do you think could tell, could, could, have you were sitting here with Vivek Ramaswamy, could tell, like, name the countries you're from, why they're different, the different religions, you know, like, maybe 3% of the country. Small percentage. Right. Yeah. Anyway. What's your point, though?

My point is that Americans really don't know anything about it's the lady in the diner. It's they just don't know. We really let drop we dropped the ball on all education. There's something that I lay at the feet of the Democrats. I mean that that is their portfolio. Education. Well of course there that is their portfolio. They have to own that.

That again this is one of those things. I'm not trying to insult the Democrats. I don't want to. They're basically my people, but when you're wrong, you're wrong. And you've got to own it. They are the party of education. They say the Democratic Convention is like something like 70% teachers of the delegates. And the party certainly is beholden to the union. They have to own the fact that we turn out children from high school, normal American high school, and they don't know anything. Not like that we concentrated on this. I guess they still teach them to read, or at least read well enough to send a text or

see a text. But past that, not science, not math, definitely not civics, not history, like knowing like any basic things like, like, what's the population of the world? Is it 7 million? 70 million? 7 trillion? 70 billion trillion? It would just be throwing a dart at the wall. By the way, I'm not asking this question with something to tell you with stats or any of that stuff. So why do you think more Democrats become teachers than Republicans?

Well, more teachers are women, more Democrats are women. So it's a noble job if you do it right and there are my sisters a teacher. I mean there are millions of great teachers in the world and in this country there are people who are very sincere and do their best. I've done many editorials in support of the teachers because I think the part of the problem is the parents. Parents make it impossible to do the job of the teacher because the parents don't side with the teacher.

They side with the child now. They're precious fucking child. So the teachers are, you know, I did one recently about how teachers are assaulted. I mean, in my day, I mean, that did not even cross our mind, to even curse in front of a teacher. And now they get clocked. You know, they'll just to even curse in front of a teacher. And now they get clocked.

You know, they'll just beat the dog shit out of a teacher and film it in class. This is outrageous, outrageous. How do we get here, Bill? You've been here longer than I have. Take Cold War. November 28, 1990. What's this?

Said how did we get here? I've only been here since 1999. Right. Well, you got here, what, on a raft? No, no, a little boat we had. It was a Russian color, a lotka. No, you flew here. You just came on up to the land.

Of course, Lufthansa. Yeah, no. Yeah, I mean, gosh, you could write a, not just a book, but a library on how we got here. I don't know. I mean, I guess if I had to sum it up, I'd say civilizations are always victims of their own success when you become very successful, very wealthy, don't have to worry really about other people fucking with you, as George Bush used to say.

We used to think oceans could protect us. Well, oceans do protect us still, but many other things. Also, oceans plus like a giant nuclear arsenal, and we do have the biggest military in the world. We are the biggest swing and dick there is. Again, I know Biden ruined the world, but somehow the dollar still, the gold standard for gold is the dollar. Every other country in the world fared worse coming out of the pandemic than we did economically.

So you know, people have no perspective really about how bad it is in other countries. So they can talk shit and they do, especially on the left, about how shitty America is. But try it somewhere else. Why are you a libertarian, by the way? Well, a libertarian is a label. I'm just saying it because you said earlier you're a libertarian. Well, libertarian on issues that are, I think, appropriate for libertarians.

I would never say that anymore. I'm a libertarian because there's a libertarian party and they take it too far. They believe in stuff like, well, they shouldn't have meat inspectors. If I get E. Coli from this meat, it'll get around and then no one will buy this type of meat again. Thank you, free market. Really stupid shit. You know, I don't stop me from going down the road unfettered. Who needs traffic lights?

I want a store like an Eagle, right through the windshield. You know, they just became fringe and they're not making things better. And by the way, most of it has been just co-opted by sensible people. Pot was, you know, back in the day, was, you know, 30 years ago when I was first on television, Pot was much more a libertarian issue because it wasn't legal anywhere for any reason. Now that's so different. I used to be paranoid about traveling with it.

Now I don't worry at all because if they bust me in Oklahoma or somewhere, they will be embarrassed, not me. So that's a big change. So in a lot of ways, libertarians achieved a lot of what we wanted. Other ways, you know, Fourth Amendment stuff, no. I mean, the privacy issues are paramount in my mind. I'm sure they are for you too. I mean, especially as a businessman, with I'm sure you have stuff that if it was hacked, would be not good. Or am I wrong? Yeah, of course, no question about it.

Yeah. Well, I don't have shit like that because I'm not dirty. What do you got? No, I'm not worried about it either. But you know, so based on that, you would say you're more Democrat than a libertarian. Mm-hmm.

Okay, got it. Well, I mean, again, these are labels. I don't ever, I don't belong to a party. I assess every candidate individually. Does that, has that resulted in me voting Democrat just about every time? Yeah, because I just generally thought, oh, Bill Clinton, way better than George Bush, way better than Bob Dole. Al Gore, yep, better than Bush. Yep. John Kerry, yes, better than Bush. Obama, better than McCain, yes, better

than Rom. You know, just down the line. Trump and it got easy. Trump, Hillary, Trump, anybody, you know. So, but you know, I would, I always look. I will always shop around. I could have voted for, McCain, if he had like the 2000 McCain, I think I could have voted for him. Why is that? He ran in 2000.

The things were just not as partisan. I mean, there are things he did that I loved that were very nonpartisan. The biggest one, a woman at a town hall, this is 2008, and just like your lady in the diner. And do you remember this? It's a very famous tape and she says, Obama, he's an Arab and I don't think he likes his country.

And a lot of the politicians would just have gone along with that and McCain said, no ma'am, no ma'am, he's a good American, we just disagree. That, you know how Republicans get a hard on for like when the Blue Angels fly overhead. I don't get a hard on for that. That gives me a hard on for this country. It's pretty impressive. A guy doing that.

But of course, you know, he had to run. By the time he got the nomination in 2008, the Republican Party was so batshit that he had to appoint that crazy lady from Alaska. And that was a bridge too far. Would you ever have her on, Palin? You know, yes, it's a great question to make me think about because for a while I think it was just a joke. It just became, oh, it's almost like making fun of a handicapped person. I'm just not, oh, it's almost like making fun of a handicap person, you know, I'm just not gonna do it.

She's been away from the public scene for long enough. Like she's definitely not overexposed lately. I would like to catch up with Sarah, what Sarah Palin thinks about things. I think it would be very interesting and people would be very interested because you know, you can't become that famous. Once your rocket achieves that level of the stratosphere, you're famous

forever and people are always going to be somewhat interested. And I'm interested because I haven't seen her. The last thing I saw was she was dating somebody. I think it was like that kind of and it was somebody who you wouldn't think. I think it was like that kind of, and it was somebody who you wouldn't think, I think it was a Democrat, I don't know. Sheer type? My type? Sheer type. An idiot, no.

No, she's, you go on a date with her. She like, somebody said, you know. Go on a date with her. No, first of all. That date would be a few chains. I would set you up. No, I wouldn't go on a date with her. But she's aniled. Please. A few chains that would set you up. No, I wouldn't want to date with her. But she's an idiot. No. I mean, I can enjoy the company of a Republican. Lots of my friends are Republicans

and they can be brilliant. But dating, I mean, you know, I say this in my act as a joke, but I think it's kind of true. I don't think I've ever fucked a Republican How do you know that though? Exactly, but it's kind of weird if you're like I listen before we get it on are you Democrat or Republican? I feel like they just at least back in the day. They just had much more of a sort of conservative in sort of conservative in their personal life view of the world, like I'm a virgin or we don't have sex until we're married, you know, that kind of, those 90s republicans were much more of that moral majority kind of conservatism.

Did you ever think about getting married and having family or no? I, well, that's, yes, I mean, but I feel like I was coerced by society. I feel like society makes you feel like that's what you should do. I mean, the one time I got engaged, I really didn't even know I got engaged. I just was desperate and I was losing her. And so I just, I pushed it on the table

like you put your wristwatch down on a poker game, you know just like What if I get what if we get married? Will you stay with me then like you know? I'm gonna go I'm gonna all in it. I was 29. Okay, so you're in your 20. Yeah I'm gonna go all on in this hand. So I was engaged once but never happened and no I must say I made a lot of stupid Decisions and mistakes in my, did not mature very fast, but the one smart thing I think I stuck with is that I would not have been happy being a husband and father.

I think I always needed to be a lone wolf, which is why I object when you say things like, what else is life for? It's like, I could show you. But I'm sure you, I bet you when you first came to America, I bet you you found paradise as far as like, come on, the women, first of all, you could see their face. Oh no, listen.

Okay, right there, big advantage. That's sitting here in, well, no, no, of course. I mean, I partied a lot hardcore, but. You did, of course. Let's hear about it. Let's get into that. Party? Yes.

Where did you party hardcore? What do you consider hardcore? The greatest. What's get into that. Party? Yes. Where did you party hardcore? What do you consider hardcore? The greatest- What's the hardest thing you ever did? What? Tell me. Like, what?

Everything. What's the hardest thing you ever did? So the greatest club I ever went to. So you want me to name the clubs I've been to? I'll name the clubs I've been to. No. So Panama City used to do this club they had called Club of Elan, Spinnaker's. I don't know if you've been to it or not. It was one of the best parties they would put up.

Where is this? This is Panamocity. Absolutely insane. Panamocity? Were you there in the military? Yeah, we'd go there and have a blast. Oh, best. But the best club, the best club was a club called Connections.

It was in Nashville, Tennessee. It was a gay club. And we'd go there and for whatever reason strategically, it was fantastic because women would go there so they don't want to be bothered. So it was always filled with a lot of girls. They would go with their friends. I knew clubs like that in LA. This was accidental.

My sergeant, the guy's like, hey, let me take you to an underground club. I went and I'm like, oh my God, beautiful women. We had a great time. No, I was going to Vegas when I lived here. Every other week I was in Vegas. You know who would be good at building an underground club? Hamas.

Hamas. There you go, bro. Respect. Yeah, we go. We're gonna get you on the comedy page. You're getting very strategic, Bill. No, I did, but for me, listen, eventually I got to a point in my life.

By the way, you did religiously, right? You did that. Strategic bill. No, I did, but for me, listen, eventually got to a point in my life. By the way, you did religiously, right? You did that. Religious. Religious, how long ago did you do that? It was a, we shot it. 20? We, it came out in 2008. Okay, so it's been now 16 years.

Yeah, I know. Has anything about God changed in your life? God? Position-wise, for God. No, God himself is still the same place he was. And I think at the same place in real life. Your engineer loves you, man. In real life.

In real life. I'm pretty much in the same place in relation to that. Nothing's changed. Well, what would you be like? You think I got religion in the last 60 years? You know, like, you know when you buy yourself and no one's around. Not with people being around. I do. Buy yourself no one's around. Not with people being around.

I do. By yourself, no one's around. You have a family. I know exactly what that's like. You're the one who can never sit on a toilet seat that doesn't feel like ass. Okay. So you're alone by yourself. Yeah, I'm alone.

You know, whatever place you are by yourself. Do you ever sit there and say, you know, Bill, what if you're wrong? What if you're this? Do you go there at all or not at all? Of course not. It's so silly. You mean what if I'm wrong? So what a great reason to be religious. Just in case a devil in hell is going to poke my ass with a pitchfork amid the burning flames if I'm wrong. I mean, what God would want you if that was your reason for doing it? Why can't we just be a good person for the sake of it? And other than that,

I think life is just about killing time till you die. Have a good time, be a good person, not in that order, be a good person first, but you can manage both. I don't feel like I owe my life to anybody, but I do feel like I've been fortunate. Like when I look at all the 8 billion people in the world, of all the lives I could have pulled, this was a pretty good one, you know?

There were things I would have liked, I should have been 6'2", but God fucked up. So, you know, basically, if I had to go back into the reincarnation bin and pull another life, I'd be scared to do it because, you know, I like this one. Even with all the stuff that's been, you know, no life is not, it doesn't have pain in it and things that you mostly regret some things, you know, no life is not, it doesn't have pain in it and things that you, mostly regrets of things, you know,

I wish I did differently. I mean, I wish I had the brain I have now in my 29 year old body, because I wouldn't have gotten engaged that night because I knew that was, that certainly was not gonna work. But you're gonna have more kids? You said you'd want more. I'd have 20 if I could. But what do you mean if have more kids? You said you want more. I'd have 20 if I could.

But what do you mean if you could? Your wife doesn't want my wife, same age as me. No, she's done. She's done more than her. No, she has. I mean, totally, but we're a- Who wants because when you have the kid, it's like a-

Oh man, I love kids. I can see. I know, and that's a very human thing. Yeah. And it's also a human thing not to. No, totally. Yeah. Okay.

Oh by the way, remember, this is not a, you know, I, the reason why I like to talk to people maybe we have different views with this because it helps identify leaks in any argument that I may have that I haven't thought about. And then you walk away, you're like, okay, interesting. That's his position. Right. I don't have to disrespect you. I don't have to, I can sit there and say, all right.

Oh no. So he thinks like that because of the life he's had and maybe the experiences. Right. And maybe he's choosing this. And by the way, you know, at one point, because like most Democrats, I'm a data-driven guy and I like data. You're a Democrat.

No, no, because Democrats are all about data and stats because you said that earlier. They're very analytical. They like the data. And I like data. So I said to them... I didn't exactly say that, but yes, they do like data more. What I said was they get into the details, which is data. Yeah, yeah.

That data, certainly data informs detail and is part of it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I sat there and I'm like, okay. All right. So data wise, like the question I asked you earlier, I said, so why do you think more Democrats are teachers than you know, they're Republican?

Sorry, you made a very good point because most women, most teachers are women, right? Okay, great. And numbers came out on. And it's a caring industry. Totally. And nurses, right? I agree, I totally agree with you.

Nurses, yeah. It's a very good point. For sure, it's not for everybody. No, there are certain industries that attract different. Yeah, but go ahead. You're right, yeah. I agree, yeah. So then I sit there and I go and say, yeah, but go ahead. You're right, yeah, I agree, yeah. So then I sit there and I go and say,

okay, you pull up data, what percentage of English teachers in high school vote Democrat versus Republican? 98 to two, money donation, wow. Okay, how about health and science? 97 to three. Yeah, that's not healthy. That's not healthy. That's not healthy.

Watch this, watch 100 changes. I know, I understand. But I want to kind of do it. Also, Twitter, when they went through, like, when Elon Musk bought Twitter, I think 99% of Twitter employees were Democrat. That's not... Dude, that's insane.

It is insane. That is not healthy. That's most of Silicon Valley, but... Yeah, I understand. No, I'm... No, I agree with you. I appreciate you saying that. That is not healthy. And that's most of Silicon Valley. Yeah, I understand. No, I'm... I appreciate you saying that. That is...

But do you want to know what number changed? Here's the part that changed. And colleges... 13 to 1, professors. Colleges would be very similar. 13 to 1. It is not healthy when there are places where you would feel completely socially ostracized if you expressed the slightest variant of a point.

I agree. And this is one of my biggest complaints with the left is the hypocrisy of being all about diversity, everything in diversity, except of thought. You know, as long as the black guy, the white guy, the Hispanic guy, the Jewish guy, and the Pacific Islander guy all think alike. We have diversity.

Well, you have a superficial diversity, you have a kind of diversity that's also important, but you don't really have diversity. So yeah, that is a problem in our society. And I'm sure there are things on the other side too. I mean, I don't think rodeos are probably 50-50. I think there's probably 98% Trump voters who are fucking... But they're not impacting.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Belief and thoughts and philosophy. You're just going for entertainment. Yes, I was joking. So it's more entertainment. I get it. But you know which one was the only one?

What teachers voted more Republican Democrat? Math. Who? Math. Math. Math was 87 to 13. Voted Republican? 87 money went to Dems, 13 to Republican.

But still, 13 goes from 98%, 97%. So then it goes to math. So then you go think about what the point is. See, even the math teachers got indoctrinated even the math teacher's got indoctrinated. Even the math teacher's got indoctrinated. But it's kind of true. Well, it's just that's like the way Hollywood is. Like, you know, the people here, it's like there is a one opinion that is allowed about

almost anything. Yeah. And it's very strictly enforced. I know I color outside the lines and like there's a good part of this town that's like that is not allowed and it's like I don't give a fuck but you know I know that's how they feel. Yeah. Hey listen I got to go back to my day job. Yeah. This is really a lot of fun. I'm really glad I got to know you a little bit I know you're gonna do great things because you're a go-getter like where you got already all the way from

war-torn Tehran was it? All the way to hundreds of millions of dollars Pretty good journey, huh? What a country the best Okay, we can agree on that. Thank you. Yes! Oh, look at you, you're big. You're like, Reacher.

Are you watching Reacher? Am I watching Reacher? I'm not. Oh, you have. Are you? Yes!