Club Shay Shay - Earthquake
Episode Date: May 16, 2022Shannon welcomes in comedian and actor Earthquake.Listen & follow more FOX Sports podcasts: http://sprtspod.fox/applepodcasts#DoSomethinB4TwoSomethin & Follow Club Shay Shay:         ...                                                        https://www.instagram.com/clubshayshayhttps://twitter.com/clubshayshayhttps://www.facebook.com/clubshayshayhttps://www.youtube.com/c/clubshayshay Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I bought a house right next door to Jamie Foxx up the street from Jamie.
And I used to tell my ex-wife at that time, like, listen, this nigga got an Oscar.
We just got a dog named Oscar.
Two million dollars, three million dollars in debt, nigga, and I ain't got nothing to show for it. life been grinding all my life sacrifice hustle paid the price want a slice got the roll of dice
that's why all my life i've been grinding all my life all my life been grinding all my life
sacrifice hustle paid the price want a slice got the roll of dice that's why all my life i've been
grinding all my life hello welcome to another edition of club shea Shea. I am your host, Shannon Sharp.
I'm also the proprietor of Club Shea Shea.
And the guy that's stopping by for a drink and conversation today is a comedian.
He's an actor, screenwriter, producer, radio personality, entrepreneur.
He's a former Army sergeant, 30 years in the entertainment industry.
The man is so bad he named himself after a natural disaster. Earthquake.
What it is, my boy? Well, thank you very
much. Let me just correct you. I was in the
Air Force. Don't you ever
disrespect me. My man, you was in
the Air Force. Yeah, man. You can land
a dog and get in the Army.
There you go. See, there you
go, Quake. We not
disrespect any branch of the military.
Well, I will. You don't even need a heartbeat disrespect any branch of the military. Well, I will.
You don't even need a heartbeat to get in the Army.
It's the Air Force.
Don't you ever.
How you doing today, bro?
Man, I'm so blessed, brother.
And it's a pleasure to be in Club Shea Shea.
Serving the males up.
You know what I do?
You know what I got?
I got my own cognac, Quake.
And I say, you know what?
My boy Quake coming today. I say, you know what? Yeah, yeah. Let me know what I got? I got my own cognac, Quake. And I said, you know what, my boy Quake coming today.
I said, you know what?
Yeah, yeah.
Let me know what you think.
Honest opinion, cause I know you gonna tell me the truth
cause I been knowing you.
Well, it's smooth.
You know I drink 1738, but I think they out.
Yeah, it's, hey.
It's smooth.
I got you a bottle to take with you.
Please. No, you. It's smooth. I got you a bottle to take with you. Please.
No, you can't have it now.
Oh, that's smooth.
I appreciate that.
Check this out, Quake.
Yes.
I know you was doing this Netflix special going on at the Hollywood Bowl.
All the biggest and brightest, Dave Chappelle.
Some fan, I don't know what.
I don't really consider that.
That's not a fan.
You run up and do some bull job like that, that's not a fan.
Someone ran on the stage, attacked Chappelle.
Right.
You were there.
Yeah, I was on the show.
What was going through your mind when that happened?
Well, we was about to do the curtain call, and this ninja, this motherfucker was so quick, he jumped over and tackled Dave like
he played for y'all back in the day.
But Dave took it good.
He didn't bring him to the ground. He bounced off him
like A.B.
And then they
took him in the back and
he got a knuckle up sandwich. Yeah, I mean,
I saw photos of him. I mean, his arm
was not meant to be in that direction.
Yeah.
And his eye definitely wasn't like that when he arrived at the show.
No, but he—that's what you get for coming up there.
And it's a shame because it was a historic night.
You had Chris Rock.
You had me, Dave Chappelle, Jon Stewart, Jimmy Carr, Michelle Wolf, Jeff Ross.
It was, you're talking about 19,000 people, man.
Wow.
It was beautiful.
And just to be a part of it, I was just sucking it in.
And then all of a sudden, this one jumped up.
And I wanted to get a couple of licks in,
but my manager, Jermaine, told me,
we ain't got our money yet.
So we can't afford no lawsuits so he
said come on back in the back i said let me get a couple hits in but is this something that you
worry about now that you tell a joke because it used to be quite you know you see somebody in the
front row they got a bad outfit on you make a joke somebody here is not right you make a joke
somebody looking crazy you make a joke are you afraid now to make a joke about someone
because they might run up on stage on you?
Hell no, that's what you got a mic stand for.
I'm from Africa.
That's a javelin.
I'm javelin.
You run up there if you want to, you're going to lose a lung.
I don't even worry too much about that.
It's always been an occupational hazard.
Right.
And you can kind of tell.
But this person, it was so much he came out of nowhere right when you're in an intimate club you could
see certain dudes like yeah he on air so you just don't mess with him right you don't bring nothing
to him on the rest of it and let it go and plus security usually at a club especially for us
is adequate and they'll beat them down off of it.
And to be quite honest with you,
we never, until this Will Smith thing happened,
we never had that problem.
Right.
You know what I mean?
We was the only genre that didn't need metal detectives.
You came to see a comic, which is a son of a clown.
And we didn't get that kind of clientele like rappers did and that stuff.
So, you know, it's to me, you know,
it's a change in it.
But no, it don't change mine.
I came too far for letting a person
whoop my ass right now.
You mentioned that Chris Rock was there
and he grabbed the microphone and asked,
was that Will Smith?
That's because we're comics.
They're jokes.
Right.
And, you know, my gay community, Dave is the nicest dude in the world, man.
And he has nothing against anybody.
But when you tell us what we can't say, that's a form of bullying to us.
Who are you to tell us not to say it?
We are born as independent contractors.
We self-produce our own.
All our lives and our profession
is we stand on stage. And how
dare you tell me I can't
say this. I'm going to say it and
keep going. It makes you want to say it even more.
If you ever want a comedian
not to say something, don't
tell him not to say it. I have
never met a comedian. When you get up there, don't
talk about this, this, this.
But God damn it,
I'm going to talk about it.
As soon as I get up there.
As soon as I get up there.
You watching the Oscars.
Yeah.
You hear Chris Rock tell the joke
about the G.I. Jane.
Yeah.
You watch Will Smith.
Did you think it was real
at the time it was happening
or did you think it was a skit?
Yeah, I knew it was real
when the tape delay
stopped letting them talk.
You know what I mean? When they start bleeping
and it was quiet, I like,
no, this is real.
This is real. And I'm
glad I watched
it because Chris taught all of us
and he should have taught everyone. That's how you handle
a situation under those
terms. You know what i mean
do you believe he would have been as calm as he was had it not been the oscars i think the setting
has a lot to do with it because if you're in a regular club you and you in atlanta you in dc
you in dallas and somebody run up on the stage like that you ain't gonna be like okay hey somebody
just ran up here and slapped it you know what. Right. No, they really fucked them up.
Your team with the cane got it then.
Your team versus their team.
Right.
They never been a melee.
But Chris understood... The circumstances.
Just the...
It was the Oscars,
but through somebody,
a black man,
that the first time we kept on...
Well, hell, why didn't Will think about that?
Because that's what happens
when you're in love with that goddamn woman.
Now, that shit don't matter, man. The prime example of what happened to that's what happens when you're in love with that goddamn woman. Now, that shit don't matter, man.
The prime example
of what happened to that
is what happens
when you love a woman
that don't love you
and you're still trying
to validate.
You don't think she love him?
Fuck no.
Quake, real now, hold on.
How did you come
to this conclusion?
Okay, they had an entanglement.
Yeah, she puts all of her business
and everybody else's business on the red table.
But I think she loves him.
If she loved him, she would have never let him run up there.
True.
If she loved him, she wouldn't have laughed
at that happened.
If she loved him, he did 30 years of being a clean cut
of a comic that never ever succumbed to all the pressures of gangster rap and everything but
that's what but see at mc that's the build-up see it wasn't about that joke that one time no it was
about y'all been calling this man soft for 30 years no no that wasn't it he's been called soft
before that when all the gangster rap and nwa was out there. They called him corny. Yeah
Through that he didn't buckle unlike hammer
Hammer when I did with bumps to the bumps and put it on there underneath the
underneath the On the mountains with rain coming in women all around he didn't he didn't succumb to it. He stood he didn't care about it
But his woman he laughed about it and when she said that ain't to it he stood he didn't care about it but his woman he laughed
about it and when she said that ain't funny and you ain't gonna do nothing about it it made him
act everybody be around men that love a woman that overreact usually she's like come on baby
but here's the thing though i've been with women and and my thing is is that somebody being
disrespectful towards my woman you know i'm gonna try going to try to, hey, bro, that's my woman.
And normally they say, okay, my bad, Sean.
If I didn't recognize, I'm sorry.
But it's also her place.
She know her man.
Your woman know you.
Any woman that's been with me, she know I'm short-fused.
Your trigger.
Yeah.
Shannon.
Baby, baby, no, Shannon, I got you.
Baby, baby, I got you.
Baby, I got you.
I'm going home with you. I sleep with you. I'm with you. Reassuring the brother. Baby, baby, I got you. Baby, I got you. I'm going home with you.
I sleep with you.
I'm with you.
Reassuring the brother.
Yes, yes.
And you know that motherfucker who's in love
would kill everybody in there.
You understand what I'm saying?
There is no power, no strength like a man
that's defending his woman.
Yeah.
And he would, hey, what?
Chris, you the man.
The real Ali would've came through him.
He would've put everybody's ass in there for her ass.
Are you surprised that he hadn't spoken publicly,
Chris Rock hadn't spoken publicly about this event?
No, I went through a divorce.
He gonna sue him.
Anytime you hear, I'm still working through it.
And it's a process that means litigation.
I mean, what else can he do?
Right.
You can't kill him.
So ain't nothing else to do but sue him.
You need to pay me for that.
Do you think the Academy handled it correctly
by allowing him to go back, sit down,
stay for the entirety of the show?
Hell no.
Hell no.
That's what Dave Chappelle said.
He might've hit me, but he wouldn't have sit down there
comfortable and watch the whole goddamn show. Hell no, not what Dave Chappelle said. He might have hit me, but he wouldn't have sat down there comfortable
and watched the whole goddamn show.
And that's, you know, they allowed him to do that.
And he thanked everybody.
He apologized to everybody, excuse me, but to Chris.
That's the problem that I have.
Because he can't come down.
Ain't no problem because he love his woman.
It would have been just as bad if he slapped her
and then apologized in front of her.
Nor did she when it was over.
But you apologizing to the academy.
You got to apologize to the man you hit.
No, because the man you hit assaulted your woman, not the academy, in her eyes.
Quake, look what I'm saying.
I mean, Chris Rock is for real.
Because you know under no circumstance, I don't care where you are in America,
if you black of a man walk up and slap you,
something got to be done.
Well, you can slap me for $200 million.
That's what I'll take out his ass.
$200 million.
You owe me two.
You can slap the shit out of me.
If you got $200 million in front of everybody
at the inauguration,
you can slap me at the NA the inauguration. You can slap me
at the NAACP meeting.
You can slap the shit out of me
undisputed
if you're giving out
a $200 fucking million, man.
You crazy? That's $200.
I will sue $100 million from the
academy.
Well, goddammit, you let
them sit there and enjoy like nothing happened. I had an academy and fought with it. Well, goddammit, you let them sit there and enjoy like
ain't nothing happened.
I was assaulted.
I sent $100 million
to ABC
or whoever broadcast it.
You did enough
to delay,
you delayed it enough
so the words
wouldn't come out.
You delayed enough
not to see that
goddamn slap
that got hit.
Then I'm coming
to Will Smith.
I need that
Men in Black money.
I need that goddamn
Parents Don't Understand money. Independence Day. I need that men in black money. I need that goddamn parents don't understand money.
Independence Day.
I need all that shit.
Believe me.
I'm going to test your love for ass.
You're going to see how much you really love it when I take all that goddamn money from you.
But I think I read somewhere where she said it just goes to show you when someone is pushed too far or someone is going too far.
She ain't say shit.
A woman that loved you to say that, she was like
she would immediately make a statement
this what happened with my
husband is not indicative of who he is.
He has over 30 years
of great community service enough
he lost his temper. You should
not let what this
moment tarnish
or sully his name. What the hell is she saying?
Oh, it's a time of healing, and I'm all part of it.
Motherfucker, of course you is.
You're out here putting bruises on my mother.
Sitting down here having an entanglement in this man's house with a key that a friend of yours.
Get the hell out of here.
Sitting down here having your daughter sit there and talk to my mother.
So who's most responsible for this act?
God damn it, a woman.
Sometimes we got to hold them accountable now.
You cannot harbor these fugitives.
Well, so what about Will?
You understand?
Where is Will's probability?
Listen, listen, man.
When we all love a woman we can't control,
you have two options to do.
Shannon, you either accept the love she give you
or you leave her alone.
She know that man loves the hell out of her.
She sicked him on like he was a pit bull.
Don't get his ass.
Like a drug dealer.
Yeah.
And she went up there.
That's what she did.
You speaking from firsthand knowledge
because you went through a divorce.
True.
You filed for divorce
and it took you like three years
for it to be finalized.
See,
it took nine years.
Hold on!
I was only married
three years.
It took nine years
to get a divorce.
I went to court one day
and said,
look here,
y'all,
I could have killed
this motherfucker
and been on parole
by now.
Now,
this is ridiculous.
I want my freedom.
Now,
God damn it.
So,
was she contesting it?
Of course.
Of course. But hold on. But Quake contesting it? Of course. Of course.
But hold on.
But Quake,
if you didn't love her no more,
she knew the love
wasn't there anymore,
what was she holding on to?
The standard of living.
That heel is beautiful.
It's the most seductive
thing in the world.
If you take a woman
to a standard of living
that she cannot maintain
on her own,
she's ruined in her life
because very few other men
are going to show her
that standard of living,
which includes the love
and look out.
When you personally,
financially commit to a woman,
you raise her elevation
where it is.
You give her like,
what they say,
exhale.
I have a man.
I mean, I don't have to.
Most women that's independent
because they want to,
they have no choice. The man of their life has not came in their life yet. They don't have to, most women that's independent because they want to, they have no choice.
The man of their life has not came in their life yet.
They don't want to do, they want to give all that shit to you.
It's a lot of responsibility having a woman.
And if you take on that responsibility for her and you take her to a level that no other man is going to come take it unless he love her. I knew what I was doing for her
that it will never be another man
to do for her unless he love her.
So that's why, so you're saying
a lot of the reason why we see situations like this
where women fight to hold on
or guys have baby mamas
and they behave in a certain manner
is because they don't want to let go
because they know the standard of living
in which they become accustomed to
is potentially leaving. And not only the standard of living in which they become accustomed to is potentially leaving.
And not only the standard of living, the comfortability of things that you can't even equate until the man is gone.
You know what I mean?
It's a comfort.
It's a thing of it.
Something wrong with my car?
I can call Shannon.
I got a man, baby, in my car, bro.
Stay right here.
I'm sending the Uber, the AAA coming to get it.
You independent.
You ain't got no AAA.
You out there changing that damn tire you damn sell.
You understand?
Side dudes don't do that.
Do you think Will would be happy or divorced?
I think Will would be happy once he comes to the realization,
like most men, that you in love with
a woman that don't love you, and no matter what
you do or what you give or what you have
achieved, it's not going to be sufficient.
Why don't you think she loves him?
They've been married for 20 plus years, Quake.
Hey, man, a lot of women settle.
My aunt settled.
My aunt settled because she wanted to get out of
my grandmother's house. He had a house somewhere
to stay. Go ahead.
It's been for a long time.
Well, that used to be a long time ago.
I don't think we'll do it.
It's still here.
It's just a higher level.
It's still a higher level.
It's several.
He is not the man of her dreams.
And she constantly throw it in his face.
That's why you bring up Tupac.
Got his daughter sitting there.
Please come back, Tupac.
I know you a lot.
So me and mommy could be happy.
That's his child right now.
And she wasn't even born when Tupac was alive.
So that comes from the mother.
It comes from a mother, man.
It's some different degree, no matter what relationship we have.
You don't supposed to have your son's friend in your house
Will you pay for an arrest other it's a degree of respect when a woman loves you there's certain lines
They just won't crawl
Regardless of your behavior right regardless on how you cuz I love you ain't gonna do that to you
so
You see all right. What about what is your stance on marriage?
Are you willing to get married again?
Oh, I'm about to get married again, but I'm getting some paperwork.
Because if it don't work out, we're going to have an agreement.
We're going to separate my money.
Why are you getting a divorce?
Why do you need a prenup if we love each other?
I say I got car insurance and I don't expect to be in no accident.
But just in case, I want to be covered.
So if this don't work out. Why was marriage so bad for Quake?
Wrong woman.
You don't believe you could have done anything differently?
Yeah, picked another woman.
Man, go ahead.
They were talking about Quake.
No, I mean, just because she wasn't right for me
and she didn't love me don't make her a bad woman.
Right.
She's a great woman.
She just ain't my woman.
She doesn't share the views that I have.
You know when a woman loves you.
Right.
And she didn't love me.
That's why I didn't understand where the anger came from.
The anger should have never been.
I just followed the plot.
I see you.
Has there been a situation
where you got married
to this lady, okay, you realize, okay, she's
not the one, but is there one that got
away?
I've been in that situation. I've been in the situation.
I've had a great woman
and I effed
it up. It was me.
And as I told her,
you know,
the mind replays
what the heart can't delete.
True.
I realize,
Quake, when you're in a situation,
We talked about this
at the Sky Bar.
Yeah.
When I seen you for the last time,
yeah, we talked about that
at the Sky Bar.
And I was like,
you know, Quake,
a lot of times
when you're in a situation,
you don't realize
how good that situation is
because you're there. But of times when you're in a situation, you don't realize how good that situation is because you're there.
But now when you're removed from that situation,
you're like, damn, man, I really messed this up.
Yeah.
I've never been that fortunate.
I've never been fortunate to the point
that a woman has ever
completely gave herself to me.
Have you allowed yourself to be vulnerable?
You can't have love without being vulnerable.
That's what I've had to learn.
Being in therapy for the last years is that me,
because I'm afraid, damn, I worked so hard for this
to make sure my family, my kids are taken care of.
And damn, somebody might come in there and pretend like they love me and take my stuff.
Right.
So I've kind of like Heisman posed a lot of people.
But I've got to, in order for me to fully, I've got to let go.
And I agree with you.
I'm the hardest to deal with from a woman's point of view on that.
But I also believe, and it's a prime example with the woman I'm with now, if she's truly the right one, it ain't a problem.
She'll go through all the obstacle, man-made obstacle, distraction I put of the hurt of being
insecure like you is.
A real woman that believes in you will look through that.
I don't care
about that. I'm here.
And eventually you'll be here. I'm going to break down
all the rest of that and I'm here for the long
one. I just believe
if she's the right one, you will.
I have never
ever had a woman go all out for me on it.
You hear dudes all the time.
There's a chick in the bushes, want to see me.
And she sitting down here, keep calling me.
When I break up with a woman, boy, they go straight to the checkout line.
10 items or less.
This is what I came up on, and I'm up out of here.
I'm like, God damn, I can't get no crime,
baby,
don't leave me or nothing.
Check out time.
This motherfucker,
the jig is up.
All right,
come on,
take it.
And that's why I say,
take everything you came up with,
came up off,
and we'll be cool.
One of the,
Kim and Kanye,
how do you think he's handling that situation?
Terrible.
Terrible. Terrible.
What
could he do to like,
you know what, she no longer is in love
with me? Because I've
had private conversation with people and I said the thing
that Pete Davidson
will address his situation is that
what he can give her that Kanye never could is that's
peace. True.
Kanye worth three, five, six, seven billion dollars, but she has her own money. She doesn could is that's peace. True. Kanye worth three, five, six, seven billion dollars.
But she has her own money.
She doesn't need that for him.
True.
And he can't use that to make her behave.
Yeah.
And he can't, you know in our business, take the money away.
Excuse me, I take away your status.
Right.
She has access to everywhere he can go.
Yeah.
He can't economically impose on her.
He can't economically isolate her.
He can't do none of it.
Because, see, when you blow up and you got a woman with no name,
she got to use you as a reference.
Right.
Get to all of those things that she used to do when she with you.
Kim don't need that.
Right.
Kim has her own.
Right.
You understand? So the lights clap on her so Kim don't need that. Kim has her own. You understand?
So the lights clap on her so she doesn't need them.
And it's probably for the first time ever
he wanted something that didn't want him.
So it's a mixture of ego, love, and a whole nine.
I knew he was in trouble talking about,
I need to see my kid!
When the brother start putting the kids in there,
he got it bad.
He got the kid.
He got the, come on. You don't put the kids in there, he got it bad. Yeah, he bleed the kid out. He got that. Come on.
You don't put my kids in.
You know it.
Soon as you start dating a girl and they find out that Shannon shop on it,
I want to come see little Leroy.
He ain't seen Leroy in three years.
Now he want to come over here and pick up little Leroy.
Because Shannon over there banging her.
You understand?
I want to see my kids. You ain't seen understand I don't wanna see my kids you ain't see
he don't even know you
he was calling me daddy
you understand
so it's the same shit
that's how it is
now she's doing her own
and there's no way to make her behave
well Kim is what we call a stand alone
Kanye is a stand-alone.
They were tremendous
together. They were absolutely a power
couple. But in a stand-alone situation,
she can stand on her own. She can stand on, and
plus, you got to understand, she's well-seasoned.
Yeah! She done had that
work. She done been with stars.
Yeah. She know us. Yes.
She know the family. Not only men, she
know black men. Yes. So the indignant. Not only men, she know black men.
Yes.
So the indecode part of you really breaking her down is virtually impossible.
She done been through it all, man.
That woman knows how to compartmentalize her feelings to go on to the next person, no matter who it is.
And you just have to realize that. That takes a special person to do that.
Because I can't.
Quake, I ain't going to lie.
I just can't leave like this.
I'm like, well, maybe we can make it work.
Maybe we should try to make it work.
Shit.
I'm out of that motherfucker.
They call me Liam Quake, nigga.
Trust me.
Quake, hold on, Quake, hold on.
You ain't had one woman that you fought for that you said, baby, don't leave.
Let me make it right.
Hell no. Yeah, you down to it don't leave. Let me make it right.
Hell no.
Yeah, you down to a minute, Lord.
Yes, I have.
I mean, my love will start to decrease once you tell me you no longer want to be with me. But what about if it's something that you're doing, something that you're doing wrong, Quake?
It's a process of love because I'm transparent.
I'm honest with you.
If we're not in a monogamous relationship, I'll let you know.
If we are, then it is.
I just have a mentality.
I owe my life to nobody but to God.
But what I will do, I share with anybody.
But once you tell me you don't
want to share with me, then I'm out of here. I don't owe you that. I'm not going to sit
here and use my time to try to convince you that I'm the best thing for you. And mine
could never be ours. So you must have your mind on somebody else, then go ahead. And
I let my record speak for itself, how I treat you with invest. I tell
women all the time, you can get any man to sleep with you, but who's actually going to claim you
and be there for you? And that's what I put that on. And once you say that ain't good enough,
ain't shit else I can do. If I keep trying, I'm making a fool out of myself.
Well, maybe she's just saying that because she wants you to prove it.
I wasn't put here to prove that. I ain't put that with you.
Let's start on it, and we'll deal it on day by day.
I don't need you to prove it.
Just don't disprove it.
Let's go back to the beginning, all the way back, from D.C.
Yes.
Joined the military.
Yes.
Were you always funny?
How the hell you go from the military to be a comedian?
Nah, my family is funny. were you always funny? How the hell you go from the military to be a comedian?
Nah, my family is funny.
My brother Tyrone's funnier than me,
but he don't know how to put this shit together.
And I would never tell him how to put these jokes together.
You hear that, motherfucker?
Ever.
You'll stay working where you at,
motherfucker, ever.
Keep on doing that job
because you would never
put these jokes together.
So this was just the best decision that day
because I was in the military for nine years.
And it was time to get out in the war.
What made you decide to go to the military?
Oh, man.
I lived with a mother that complained all the motherfucking time.
It was rough living with my mother.
Well, you could have got out.
No.
I mean, that's why I got out.
When I walked across the stage, I walked straight into the military.
It was a week after I graduated.
Right.
And I was like, shit.
Going to the military, they hollered.
I'm getting hollered at home.
In the military, they hollered at you and gave you a check.
Let me go over here because this motherfucker hollered at me and ain't giving me nothing.
No allowance or nothing.
So I joined the military.
It was the best decision of my life.
You know, because I'm from D.C.
Right.
And it's segregated.
And going into the military allowed me to see that the world is bigger than the corner.
And we as people got more in common than we ever have different.
Because I had this, I tell people all the time, I had this white roommate when I first went into the military.
His name was John.
And when I tell you this white man ate more chicken than
any black man ever did.
This fried chicken bucket eating motherfucker
Kentucky fried chicken. I'm talking about
bucket after bucket. I was like, God damn
John. He said, so good.
Have you tried honey on
the biscuit? I said, yeah, but not 12
straight.
This country motherfucker. He took
that skull out of the long cricket like that
and threw it in the Mahogany Cup
and commenced and put that bucket
right there and wore that
chicken out. I'm telling you, every
other day. You're in the military
for nine years, okay? You're about to
come out. What's your plan?
I ain't had no plan.
I just knew what... See, I
tell people right there in your own age how to plan. I just had, this is what I ain't going to plan. I just knew what... See, I tell people right there, you don't need to have a plan.
I just had, this is what I ain't going to do.
I'm not going over Desert Storm
and fight for some oil,
and I ain't got no car.
The fuck I'm not going to do.
Okay.
I don't give a fuck where it is.
And I seen on CNN, they said,
you know, they had a poll.
What's the number?
You know how they do that shit.
What's the top cities for black men to prosper in?
And number one was Atlanta.
I said, well, there you go.
Look at God.
That's the one.
So my other four brothers, partners, was like, listen, man, you know you ain't going to fight evil.
Let's go to Atlanta.
And that's what we did.
We all four went to Atlanta.
Got a two-bedroom apartment.
What year was that?
That was 91.
Okay.
91, we went to Atlanta, and we got an apartment, and all of us.
And then we slowly but surely, everybody got their jobs.
And I was living on unemployment to see what I was going to do.
So I went down to a comedy club and did some open mic and a little comedy
while I was in the military to get out of working.
That's what they used to call me.
Skate quake. Skate
stroke. Any time to get
out of work. So
I took a girl to the thing
and she was laughing hard and
shit.
I said, if you want to fuck him, just say you
want to fuck him, but that shit ain't that funny.
He's all underneath the table.
What you talking about?
You're just jealous.
That's funny.
I said, yeah, that's funny.
But that ain't the funniest shit I ever heard for you to be all this
motherfucker throwing up and everything.
So she said, well, come on.
If you think you better than him, do it.
I said, shit, I can do better than that.
And so I started. And ain't nothing came since.
So it was the best decision, and nothing else has came in my life since then.
So were you funny as a kid?
Were you funny in high school?
Were you a class clown?
No, I was good, but my brothers and them took all the time,
old hogging-ass motherfucker.
You got to come from a big family.
We go.
And my brother Tyrone,
my brother Butterball,
my sister Tawana,
Marcel,
they was funny.
We just had funny stuff.
So I didn't get
too much stage time.
You mentioned that
you're every comedian's
favorite comedians.
Yeah.
Who's your
Mount Rushmore comedian?
Oh.
First of all,
the Dundada is
without question
Eddie Murphy. Okay. Most talented
person I ever met in my life.
I was looking at him like, ooh.
This is why I ain't got
no TV show.
This motherfucker from Ma.
I love different I don't watch other comedians because I don't write physically I write mentally right and if I watch a comedian I'm
afraid that I might be contaminated with something that they said he thought
something you know what I'm Quake I don't watch sporting events with the
sound and people say why you don't watch sporting events with the sound.
And people say, why you don't watch it with the sound? I say, because when they talk,
I don't want to hear what they're saying.
I want everything that you hear come out of my mouth,
I said it. Exactly.
So if I hear somebody say something
on a football game or a basketball game,
oh man, Sharp, you just repeat
what somebody else said.
It could.
But subconsciously. Not only subconsciously,
it can alter, especially for you,
it can alter your perspective of what you was going to say.
So to keep it authenticated and keep it pure,
I don't listen.
But to answer your question on that.
You got Eddie?
I got Eddie.
I got Dave.
I got Chris Rock.
I got Corey Holcomb because of his fucking fearlessness.
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Corey does not have a pro
woman set, but he will go to
Spelman and do it. Right.
And they'll boo the shit out of him and he won't care.
That's fearless. Right.
Knowing you're going into the pit
and staying strong.
He got more nuts than any of our politicians.
We'll stand there in front.
This is what I believe in.
And last but not least.
No, you don't get before.
Yeah.
That's fine, man.
Nah, hell nah.
You ain't read that.
I need another head, man.
I can't believe that you left Pryor off.
Pryor was before my time, first of all, and I met him.
And second of all, I think a lot of people put pride on because you can't dispute it.
You know what I mean?
I ask people right here, put pride's work up movie-wise.
See, the problem I have with it, are we talking about jokes?
We ain't talking about it.
We talking about movies, TV, the rest of it, yeah.
But talk about jokes.
And he has work that's sitting there that he has done.
I would put raw and delirious up against any prior stand-up.
Yeah.
Period.
But you know, he made the stand-up that he did, you know, prior.
Raw came from that.
Well, I mean, somebody had to, just because you first in the grocery store-
That'll be you the best, huh?
That'll be you the best.
Just because you got that loaf of bread don't mean my bread fucked up or I ain't got a better
loaf.
See, that's the shit y'all kill me about.
It's since he's gone and don't nobody want to go against and say nah he ain't you know saying it's a couple of motherfuckers it's a couple times i think pride did one and
you know sit there they had all the menu on the back of it some of his like even when he did on
sunset yes it came to sunset the first one he bombed on because he was nervous coming back
from the fire and i could see it and as a comic the second one that he filmed i could see he was nervous coming back from the fire, and I could see it. And as a comic, the second one that he filmed,
I could see he was getting back in it,
but he wasn't there yet.
Right.
But he had to shoot it because it was time.
Right.
You know, you could see those type of things.
Certain motherfuckers have flawless shit.
Like Eddie Murphy, when he did Raw,
every time he took the scarf off
at the same fucking point
and time on it. It's just
precisions of it. And you put
the weight of what's funny
with his
funny against Richard
Pryor. And I put his special
up against anybody's.
How would Pryor,
how would Murphy,
how would Bernie Mack, some of these guys that anything went back then, Quake, you could talk about everybody.
If you rode a little bus, you had to hit whatever you wanted to talk about, and it was no big thing.
Well, now you can't do that.
You can't.
It all depends on what's important to you.
They can only cancel you for what they feel is viable.
See, like I told my friend, you can't blackmail me because whatever you have, I refuse to make it valuable.
See, like Dave Chappelle, you can't cancel him because he's already financially sufficient, financially taken care of.
And what you try to take away from him, he doesn't value it.
He don't want a TV show.
He walked away.
He don't want to do movies.
So you can't take away his stand-up because his fans going to come see him.
Right.
So you have nothing to leverage against him.
And to answer your question, Pryor, the rest of them, will be the same way.
I don't need no fucking movie.
I'm Richard Pryor and I'm going to stand up here and whatever offends you, I'm going to
even do it more.
And my fans will come and see.
Now what?
Then my fucker going to run on stage and try to kill you.
Chappelle, he seems to be the gold standard now. When everybody, I talk to a lot of comedians,
like you said, I know you and DC and DL
and a lot of these guys, Chappelle is the standard.
Right.
How?
I mean, because I remember watching it in another professor.
Reggie.
Yeah.
Reggie, Reggie.
Saw him in Blue Street.
Yeah, great. He was tremendous.gie. Saw him in Blue Street. Yeah, great.
He was tremendous. I got a story to tell! And you know, should I get him? You know,
he messing with Professor Club. Should I get him? How did he become this?
Y'all don't understand. And I said this once in another interview, Dave Chappelle is equivalent to Al LeBron James.
He's been a phenom forever.
When he got in the business at 14, 15, 16 years old, the industry loved him.
I remember we was in Montreal.
Montreal Comedy Festival is equivalent to the Next Flicks.
Next Flicks ain't a joke festival.
And that's where all comedians go to Canada, Montreal, Canada,
and all the industry come up there and see the new talent
and give out development deals for TV shows for the upcoming season.
Dave went up there.
When I tell you, after he got on, he could have been on the Food Channel.
He could have been, he had like 19 offers.
He has always had development deals.
So he has always been our LeBron James, a phenom from an early age.
So when it comes to that, especially such as people myself is, we already knew.
And he had the people who the decision makers feel that way about him too.
And once you have them on your side and they acknowledge your talent,
it's endless what you can do.
And that's why the rest of us as comedians have to give it to him.
You going up there trying to get one deal with ABC.
He got ABC, NBC, CBS, TNT.
He can go wherever he wants to.
He put you on.
He said, you know what?
I want you to do a show for Netflix,
and I want to produce it.
Yes.
Have anybody in the industry shown you as much love as Dave?
Put it this way.
Not at this result.
With this result.
But Chris Rock is.
Yeah.
Did for me, put me on Everybody Hate Chris.
Yeah, you the uncle.
Yeah, I'm the uncle.
Kevin Hart has.
Yeah. He made me the flagship for his radio show.
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat.
D.LL has.
Many has, but none of them had the weight
to do it the way Dave did.
And he was courageous enough to say,
I know this motherfucker's a force.
He's been a force for a while,
and I'm going to go ahead and put him out here.
If none of the rest of y'all not going to do it.
Because all my peers been through this.
They seen this.
They just didn't feel that they wanted to invest in me at that time.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Because, I mean, what I think is funny
and what somebody else think is funny
is totally two different things.
True.
I look at you.
I look at said entertainer.
He's been in movies.
He had TV shows.
DL had a TV show.
I mean, there's so many guys.
What's funny
to Quake? I mean, because
as a football player, I know a good football
player. Everybody ain't good. I don't care
what the entertainers, what the commentators
say. I don't care what's being written.
Football players, no good football
players. Basketball players, no good basketball players.
So forth and so on.
I
love honesty.
Are you true to it?
If you up here talking about, man,
weed too high and you don't
smoke, who wrote that? A weed
stealer. Right.
Honesty on thinning.
And you don't patronize to the people.
That's why I came with Corey Holcomb.
This is me and you're going to accept it.
I'm going to win you over.
This is what it is.
That's what's funny to me.
The courage of it.
Because you're up there by yourself.
And I done seen many a comedian.
It's like two or three minutes that it's on work. And you can up there by yourself. And I done seen many comedians, like two or three minutes
that's on work, and you can see they change
all the way. How do I succumb
to you so you can like me?
But a true comic, like, fuck you.
This is funny. You're lucky
I'm here. You'll never
get to see me again.
Had you been in Chappelle's situation, he had
the Comedy Central thing, he had the skit.
I mean, it was
universally... I mean, people running home because I got to see the Chappelle show, got to see the Chappelle show.
He walked away from it.
Because your mental health in this is the most important part.
What I'm learning now that I'm in this transition and I promised myself, I will not move if I can't take my happiness with me.
Right.
That's all he's saying.
There is no price in return for my mental health of not being happy on it.
And he saw them exploiting him and he couldn't live with himself.
not being happy on it.
And he saw them exploiting him and he couldn't live with himself.
And if you constantly do it for the money,
next thing you know,
you're in a hotel with...
Go and put the strap on.
Right.
Who got it?
You know what I'm saying?
So he has to bring it with him.
And deep in his heart,
and it's shown
that he knew he could get that money back.
And he did.
And he kept his integrity with it.
And he didn't, you know, sell out under his terms on it.
Because he felt that they was laughing at him and sitting with him.
Right.
And now that I'm around Dave and know him closer now.
All I know, I was one of the invites to the party.
When he be throwing them legendary parties.
Oh, man, I got you, man. I mean, I was one of the invite to the party. When he be throwing them legendary parties. Oh man, I got you, man. I call you, man.
You be sleep, because you got to get up early in the morning.
Not as early as I was then.
You be calling at 12, what o'clock in the... I don't know what the hell you want me to do.
Yeah, but that's what time it's all popping, man.
I can't tell a motherfucker, let's do a 7.30.
You know what I'm saying?
I be like, let me look at you
how different is touring today than what it was when you first started touring the money is
these motherfucking getting nba contracts come on i'm trying to get some of that the money
is ridiculous i mean think about us.
We're a self-entity.
We produce, write, star.
Right.
Everything.
I was telling the promoter the other day who booked new edition.
It's just one of me.
You got to do Ronnie, Ricky, Mike, Bobby, Johnny.
You understand?
That's why you don't see the band anymore.
Exactly.
Let me get that $100,000.
I can't split some $100,000. Yeah, separate weight. So we't see the bands anymore. Exactly. Let me get that $100,000. I can't split some $100,000 separate ways.
Yeah, separate ways.
So we need $200,000.
Exactly.
And my point, you ain't at $200,000.
But the money is just something out of, it's just-
Did you ever think the money would get to where it got?
I never knew.
I knew Steve Harvey showed me how much you can get when I booked him in my club and we
paid him six, I think like 49,000.
I was like, is this kind of money in this club?
I think I'm going to stay here.
But now, you do the math.
We had 18,000 people in Hollywood Bowl, average ticket, $175, $200.
Right. 200,000, 18,000 people for all the shit you utter.
As a comedian, no band, no drink, just you and the mic.
It's a beautiful thing.
After day, after day, after day.
Day after day.
You can go down there and do two on Friday,
two on Saturday, one on Sunday.
And if you got enough, you can get a private jet
to have you back in your house Sunday night
and you done picked up about a million dollars.
Wow. Money is stupid.
Social media.
Yes. I see a lot of guys on social
media. A lot of guys are getting their start
with the social media and then
they blow up and then they're able
to go and like you said book a set.
Mm-hmm.
As social media, you're on
social media, but you don't really be telling jokes.
You be putting real-life issues out there.
The cop shot Ray Ray.
Man, it's effed up. Somebody did
something. Some Karen said something.
On your page, you're different than a lot
of comedians. You're talking about real-life
issues. Yeah,
because I sell my jokes.
It's motherfuckers' cause.
I can't, we
can talk about motherfuckers getting shot, but these jokes,
I'm going to need
a cover charge.
So, you know,
my people be on there, just talk about this and that.
I'm not like, I can't. You know what I mean?
I'm from the old school.
And I have nothing against social
media, comedian, but I tell nothing against social media comedians,
but I tell them just like,
you are,
you still,
because you have this platform
and you have people coming,
if you're going to name yourself
or claim to be a comedian,
you're going to have to do the work.
It does not substitute
being on the stage
by making people funny on there.
Ain't no edit,
paste, take another shot,
I mean, another shot.
There's only so many skits you can do.
Well, not only that, you don't get to do it
two or three times when you're on stage.
The joke got to come out the first time.
Right.
And if you're going to sit here and put yourself
in this lane, as I'm saying,
and proclaim yourself a comedian,
then you must understand that it ain't
how many followers you
have, it's how many comedians
you can follow. And until
you able to get on that stage
and go behind heavy hitters
and still take it to a next
level, you'll never be a part of this crew.
You on
obviously.
So you on
a show and you got heavy hitters.
Yeah.
How different?
Because Snoop said, if I'm on a track with all these guys, I got to bring it.
They're going to make me step my game up because I'm not about to be the weak link.
Of course.
How much pressure is that, Quake?
It's a lot of pressure and a lot of people.
We call them the anchor.
You got to have an anchor.
That's the person that can bring the whole show.
That's the ankle leg, yeah.
On the relay team, the ankle leg.
He the dog.
But see, some of the dudes, what they do is they ask for the money as the headliner,
but they go ahead and take the slot of the emcee as the host.
Right.
Because they know they can't take that fire.
Right.
Because that stage don't give a hell about your credits. Right. Because they know they can't take that five. Right. Because that stage don't give a hell
about your credits.
Yes.
And the crowd
going to give you
love the first five minutes
because they recognize,
they see you,
then they're going to sit back,
especially black crowd,
okay,
give you a high five.
And I don't care
what show you've been on,
if you don't bring it,
they're going to boo your ass.
So you must know
right then and there.
And some comedians, most comedians,
they see who's on the show
and they'll talk
to the promoter and say, hey man,
you should let him go second.
Because you want the show to gradually...
You want it to build. Yeah.
Just because he's making more money,
you know, it's really
the promoter's responsibility to make sure that he don't... just because he's making more money, you know, it's really the promoter's responsibility
to make sure that he don't.
As many times they come to me like,
Quake, we know we're not paying you all the money.
Like, you're the strongest comic guy.
We need you to close.
I say, well, you better give me his money.
Yeah.
You better give me some more.
If I'm closing the show, I can't make the less money.
At the minimum, it got to be Favor Nation.
Well, I stay at my little third spot
Because it all pays the same
Are
Are there certain topics that you just won't talk about? No
If it comes to me, I will talk about it
That's much. It's who we are. We comics with Barker. I'm not your politician. Not your pastor. That's who we are. We comics. We're bar guys.
I'm not your politician.
I'm not your pastor.
I'm not your father.
I'm not your mother.
I'm a comedian.
And that's what I'm supposed to do.
I'm supposed to make things funny.
And the best things funny is something somebody thought about or wouldn't say it or didn't
think about it.
And once I say it said now they saw it you i heard uh i don't know
if it was you i think you said it is that you take a real life situation and you make it funny
of course and you know watch your netflix special i've seen it like three times i've watched i
follow you thank you um so when when things actually happen are are you saying, now how can I turn this into a joke?
How can I make this ish funny?
Now, usually it comes automatic,
but what's my point of view?
Like, you know, take for example,
when I talked about January the 6th.
Right.
These are white people just rushing
to overturn the government.
Damn, I wish I was a cop that day.
I'd been shooting the shit out of them and they know what you're doing, saving democracy.
Right.
No different than the pilot.
What they thought they were doing.
The same thing they have done.
Right.
Same thing the pilot that took the plane down in 9-11 before he got to D.C.,
he was saving the markets.
It's the same way.
Man, hold on.
You, Chappelle, Martin Lawrence, Wanda Sykes, Tommy Davidson, D.C.?
What the hell in the water, D.C.?
D.C. is the hottest country.
We have nothing but stars.
I will take every comedian that came from D.C.
and we'll go against any comedians in the world.
Oh, God damn it.
You got you, Chappelle, Martin Lawrence,
Wanda Sykes, Tommy.
I mean, I love Wanda, my girl.
Oh, I love her.
Tommy, Tommy, I know Tommy.
Know Martin a little bit.
Know your ass.
Chappelle.
Yeah.
Man, Chappelle grew on me.
Because I guess when he was doing movies,
I was like, and then I saw him doing the sketches,
and the sketches was funny.
But like you said, there's a difference between doing a sketch
and putting a set together.
When you got a hole, you got a hole,
you got to keep me laughing for two hours.
Uninterrupted.
Right.
Just you.
Yeah.
Ain't no, you know, a lot of there are differences between singers and entertainers.
Entertainers, you got pyrotechnics, you got dancers, you got all that.
Is it me or is it the background dancers that's twerking or the pyrotechnics?
A comedian is a Whitney Houston.
You got a stool and a mic.
All right.
What's up?
And not only that, we need your undivided attention and we can't use none of the things that you heard before.
Right.
Certain singers and the rest of them still singing awful hits they had in 85.
Right.
And it is awful.
But I love it.
I love it off of it.
It's the best thing ever, especially when you good at it or great at it.
Oh.
You said, you can't have dreams when you're hungry.
That's why you got in all the classes before lunch.
Damn.
I'm hungrier than a motherfucker.
Where I can't study.
I'ma concentrate over this stomach growler.
You better put this motherfucker out there
and get this Salisbury steak.
So what did Quake wanna be when he was growing up?
Did you want to be an athlete?
Did you want to be a—
I mean, I just wanted to live like a drug dealer without the repercussions and the consequences
of it.
You know what I'm saying?
I didn't want to go to jail.
I didn't want to get shot at.
But I did want the girls.
You wanted to be Snowball.
You wanted to be Franklin.
Yeah, I wanted to be Franklin.
With all the good things that come along
without the, you know, the things on.
That's all I want.
Just self-sufficient.
That not depend on anybody.
Because people don't understand.
I had a mother that put me out when I was eight.
And when she tried to put me out at eight and I was like, damn,
where you going?
Hello, Quake. What did you
do that your mother... I don't give a damn
what I did. You don't put an 8-year-old out.
Don't justify that.
God damn it. You might have been Damon.
Yeah, I was. I was a little
Damon Thorne, but still.
But
that let me know, man, never depend on nobody else, even if it is your mama.
Because that feeling of nowhere to go, and that was the lifeline for my standard of living on it, was a very important lesson.
Is your mom still alive?
No, she's not.
Did y'all, did you, because it seemed like you and your mom had a very contentious relationship when you were growing up.
Did you amend that?
No, it wasn't contentious.
She just knew this is how you had to raise me.
See, my son right now, I wish my mom was alive now to give him something because he a house cat.
Right.
Sorry, mommy.
I mean, he ain't sorry, but he depends on anything else.
My mother would lie.
She refused to allow me to depend on anybody.
Come on here.
Let me teach you how you going to cook because ain't no woman going to cook for you.
That's how my mother was.
My mother gave me and now that I retrospect and I look back at it,
I see other brothers are so sorry, in my humble opinion,
of the dependency on other women or other things
and now i understand why my mother taught me not to be that guy and you can survive you can drop me
anywhere in the world and i will survive it would it really bothers you that you thought that you
think that you might be dependent on someone.
Yes.
Being dependent on somebody.
It's the worst feeling in the world.
Cause what if they wake up one morning and they just don't want to do it.
That is a bad feeling.
That's the worst feeling in the world.
Your dependence.
That's why I have nothing against pimps.
What I do,
but I could never depend on no woman for my standard of living under no circumstance.
First of all, that is not my role as a man. Second of all, it's dependent on her good grace of how
she perceives me for my standard of living. She can come home one day and say, you ain't the one,
get your shit, get the fuck out. And I have nothing, couldn't live under that. I'd rather
live, and I have always lived below my means,
so to make sure that it will never, ever be taken away from me.
Did you tell jokes to get girls?
No, but they're the product of them.
I got friends.
I tell them all the time, if you was to put the same energy in your jokes and you put in the women you'll be a
superstar
Women are the product of your talent. You should never be your motivation for your talent
That's interesting. I like that
Product not the motivation. Yeah, how did you get the name earthquake?
To be quite honest with you, it came from insecurity.
Because I said, once I said I want to be a comedian, when I wasn't sure about it, let me try this.
I said, well, I ain't going to fuck up my good name.
So let's try Earthquaker.
If this shit don't work out, I can always deny it.
I can go back to my real name.
Yeah, ain't you Earthquaker? I don't know that, I can always deny. I can go back to my real day. Yeah, my mother's like, ain't you Eric Blank?
I don't know that motherfucker.
My name's Nathaniel.
My family like, we heard that motherfucker down in Atlanta trying to be a comedian.
Nah, that wasn't me.
So it didn't work out.
My family didn't know I was a comedian until six or seven years in my career.
Why you didn't tell them?
Just told you in case that shit didn't work out.
I wasn't going to be at the family reunion.
Come on, y'all.
This motherfucker's trying to tell a joke.
I thought he was funny.
Yeah.
Can you know how we do?
Oh, they would have wore my ass out.
You don't get that kind of ammunition to my family.
Boy, they would have wore me out.
Was college ever an option?
Yeah.
And I was very smart in school, but I didn't have anybody in my family or my surroundings to tell me the significance of Calum.
Because when I was in the ninth grade, Georgetown came and got me and put me in this program called Up and Bound Program. And what that is, they allow you to do your last two years of high school at Georgetown
and your transfer from there, graduate on the pilot program,
allow you to go to Georgetown University.
You got to understand.
Wow.
Yeah.
I didn't know anything about it.
So they came to pick us up.
Came to pick me up anyway.
And they took me down there and I had a Fat Boy Jones.
This is the first time I have ever tasted a fresh donut.
And I ate that moment.
I was like, oh, God damn.
Hostess ain't got shit on this one.
And I just stayed by the donut shit while they tore the rest of the shit and everything.
And I needed somebody to say, hey man, put the donut down.
This is an opportunity that you can continue on.
And no one in my family had ever went to school.
We felt just graduating from high school was the achievement at that particular time.
Because my mother and father had an eighth grade
education.
Were you supposed to graduate high school and go get a job?
Get a job.
The only thing
we knew about college was Georgetown
was there and they played basketball.
Didn't know the significance. No one
ever sat down and was like,
no, this is weird. And that's one of the biggest
regrets I had in my life was not going to school because so much of my friends
would be like, this is my frat brother from school.
Right.
I'm like, I ain't got none of that.
And then you had Howard and you had all those people.
Howard, right there, all of it.
You know, none of that.
No one educated me on it.
I mean, how hard was basic training?
Easy.
Why was it easy?
Because you only had to run a mile and a half once a year.
That's why I picked the Air Force.
I said, which one is closer to a regular job?
And they said, in the Air Force, you only run a mile and a half once a year.
I said, sign me up.
And I maxed the class.
And I was going to be an air traffic controller,
but they said take eight months for the tech school to get a slot.
I said, man, I can't live with this woman no longer.
What's the job I can leave today?
They said a nuclear weapons loader.
I said, I'll take it.
Hold on.
You wanted that job?
Hey, man, Anything to get out
your mother's house, nigga.
Nah, not that.
I mean, you jumped
out the frying pan
into the fire.
No, I didn't.
It was easier
to load a nuclear weapon
than live with
Gilda M. Twyman.
She loved me to death
when she argued
about everything.
Do you have any traits
from your mother?
Or did you go out of your way to make sure you didn't possess any of the traits that
your mother displayed?
I'll put you, that's a good question.
I'll tell you what trait I have formed from my mother.
You have, it's not what you say to me, it's how you say it.
Right.
You have to, the way you come-
Dress you a certain way. You have to, the way you come.
Dress you a certain way.
Dress me a certain way.
If you come at me with any time, even if it's constructive criticism, I'm going to immediately
hit back at your ass.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So I get that from my mother because I had to hear it so much and I couldn't reply back.
Right.
Because you can't.
Oh, no, no.
You're going to show respect. Oh, it's respect. Because she's my mama. Even if I don't't reply back. Right. Cause you can't. Oh no, no, you gonna show respect.
Oh, it's respect.
Cause she mama, even if I don't agree with her.
Right.
The authority to who she is,
mean there's no reason for a rebuttal at all.
What's it like going from the comedy club
when you're first starting out,
might be 50 people in there,
to performing in the Hollywood Bowl and you got 19,000.
You can gamble with a small
club. 19,000, you better know
what the hell you're talking about because if you lose them,
it can get ugly. Yeah.
You understand what I'm saying? You
got to be precise with that many people.
But the comedy club is intimate.
Yes. You can gamble, you can
go ahead and if you tell the wrong joke,
you can gamble them 50 or 200 people back up and get them back on ahead, and if you tell the wrong joke, you can gamble them
50 or 200 people back up and get them back on your side.
If you lose 19,000-
So you ain't getting them back?
You ain't getting them back.
Nah.
Nah.
So you better stay on time.
Let me see what I got here.
I'm going to get you out of here.
I want you to stay that low.
Oh, you good with me?
I'm drinking this good ass scotch and I ain't driving.
You know,
you said comedy is therapeutic.
Yeah.
You pay $50 an hour to tell a psychiatrist
your problems.
At the comedy club,
they pay you $50 an hour
to tell them your problems.
Yeah, my problem.
Exactly.
I mean,
because all he's giving you,
regardless,
doctor, whatever,
he's just giving you
your perspective.
Right.
And for me, simplicity is my number one asset.
So most people know the answer to their problem.
The question is, do you want to have the courage or the discipline to change it?
Right.
You know what I mean?
You know what's wrong.
I mean, shit, follow you, follow different people, Instagram.
Information is everywhere, from Google already down, you know.
So my mentality is always, well, I'm going to sit down and you tell me what I already know
or give me a different perspective or do I stand up here and make it funny and be truthful
and then I will get the answers and the crowd will react to it.
So it's always been that way.
Is there a difference, like when you first started coming up, you probably performed
in a lot of black clubs.
Do you tell jokes differently when you are predominantly, our audience is predominantly
this or that?
White, white crowds are more patient.
Black people want their money's worth immediately.
Hey, as soon as you, hey Albert, that ain't, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
that ain't funny. You need to come out of the box with a joke.
Listen to me. If you see a black man rotate like this,
then he give you another one rotate like this. And you start looking around and the
motherfucker like, yeah, me too. Yeah, this shit ain't nothing. Boo! We got two rotations.
Bullshit.
I done sit down here, rushed to come get this.
I done spend money, get her hair fixed.
She over here acting stupid.
Look at all this food, two-item minimum, this corny motherfucker.
I done stand in line, it's raining outside.
If you don't say nothing funny in the next five minutes, man. We up outta here.
We up outta this motherfucker.
So what was that like?
Getting booed?
Knowing somebody-
Never happened.
You ain't never got booed, Quake?
Never.
Let me ask you a question.
Has anybody ever left?
Because you know if somebody leave the comedy club, you know-
Now they have left.
They have left.
But goddammit.
I was nine deep. It was nine comedians. You know I you ain't that. Now they have left. They have left. But goddammit. I was nine deep.
It was nine comedians.
You know how black comedians, I'm a black promoter.
You got to put a sister up there and let her sing like it's America Idol.
Then a motherfucker got to do a fashion show.
Then a motherfucker start 45 minutes in.
Then they got to do the intermission.
Then you got to wait to get your money.
Show start at eight.
You don't go on stage and quarter the
one.
The 1,500 comedians. What the fuck?
Her feet tied.
They aching. The dude want to get his money's
worth. You know, I didn't know.
I lived in Atlanta. I've been in Atlanta
since 94. I did not know
that you owned Uptown Comedy Club. Yes.
I was a private owner. I started it.
I picked Uptown and had Uptown because they wouldn't let me perform at the Comedy Act Theater.
And I called my mother.
I said, they promised they'd let me perform at the club.
And then they reneged.
She went, what did I tell you?
You can never be mad about somebody for not allowing you to use their things.
Get your own.
Even if they problem.
Get your own or find another way.
Right.
And I went and got my own.
What are some of the famous comedians
that came through Uptown?
Everybody.
Chris Tucker, Steve Harvey, every comedian.
That's what me and Dave Chappelle met the first time we booked him at his club and
we was paying him so much money I said who is this motherfucker so I went and picked him up
you know you know how it is athlete to athlete see all this press about this mom and picked him
up did press and then took him to the club for the first night sitting in the back let me see what this moment and once
he stepped on stage and did the joke with how did they first come up caucasian how did they first
come up with the word nigger and the way he did it i said yeah it's what we've been friends ever
since game recognized game he's great back then you know you're on the club you wouldn't pick the
comedian up.
I only picked him up because I wanted to feel him.
We had staff for the rest of it. Right.
But for him, and we was paying so much.
You know how it is.
Let me get close to the motherfucker.
Is it real or is it hype?
Yeah.
You know, you get motherfuckers that hype.
They come in here and sit here.
I'm like, he's not going to make it.
He's not going to make it.
He ain't the truth.
But when I picked him up and got to see him, I said, you got it.
And then after he showed me that, I said, drank my drink and went to Magic City.
How you take the man to Magic City?
You know the man was going to love Atlanta once he went there.
Hey, man, that's how I...
Where we going?
I had doctors, everybody,
at my club, the Magic City.
Where we going back?
Every man should go there
and see the beautiful thing
that God has put down here for all of us.
Yes, yes.
It's the beautiful place that we're here.
Well, hold on.
You know what, Quake?
Now that you mention it,
since you've been in Atlanta,
you ever been to Claremont?
No, I don't.
You heard about it, right?
I heard about it.
White women that dance so ugly.
You know, they sit there with that sublity.
Billy was a bad boy.
Well, tell Billy to pay you.
My name is Earthquake.
I don't want you to know about no goddamn Billy.
You told a joke about being broke and being in debt.
Explain the difference.
Broke means you just ain't got no money.
Debt means even if you get some money,
you got to give it to another motherfucker.
So I was in debt for a long time,
and it took me a while to get out of debt.
How did you get in debt?
Living outside your means?
Trying to keep a woman satisfied with gambling at the point I can handle this until we blow.
When I got married, I bought a house right next door to Jamie Foxx up the street from Jamie.
And I used to tell my ex-wife at that time, like, listen, this nigga got an Oscar.
We just got a dog named Oscar. You got to slow up on this spending, baby. You know, once we blow,
I'm going to put us here. And she never understood. I bring home a dime, she'll spend 11 cents, dog.
And it kept me on the road, kept me going.
I could afford it.
But I was doing mule time instead of staying at home and able to be at Clydesdale to get
situations that could further my career.
But I had no choice.
I had to take those dates and that money to sustain that standard of living.
So I woke up in the morning, I was like, I'm $2 million, $3 million in debt, nigga, and
I ain't got nothing to show for it.
Nothing for me personally.
I got a house, I got a wife, I got this, I got this, and it wasn't high.
I got $3 million worth of fucking debt.
And ain't nothing that I can put my hand on that I personally bought for myself.
And that's when it changed.
I said, I got to get up out of here.
This motherfucker's too expensive for me.
Pew.
You mentioned Steve Harvey.
Know Steve a little bit.
He's a great... I mean, Steve, yeah, he's still a comedian,
but Steve is more like he give you advice.
He give you life lessons.
Now, what did you learn from Steve?
He's one of your mentors.
What did Steve teach you?
A lot, man.
First thing he taught me is I don't need to physically write.
I remember one time I was writing. He said, what you doing?
I said, writing out these jokes for me.
He just grabbed it, tore it up.
He said, you don't have to write.
Yours come out right out the oven ready.
Don't let them make you conform to their process.
Use yours.
From there, I took off.
And to always believe. Steve
is the most confident
person I have met in my fucking life.
Some people take it arrogant, but
Steve has always believed
in Steve.
I mean, when I first booked him
in my club,
there was only 50 people there the first night.
And Steve came to me and said,
Steve, how you don't perform for 50 people.
I'm like, nigga, this shit is packed.
The hell you talking about?
Send them home, give them their money back,
come pick me up in the morning,
and we're gonna go into the radio.
And he was the one that taught me,
excuse me, the significance of doing radio
as part of promotion.
Cause he got there that morning, of course,
brought the DJs.
We had to stop at Dunkin' Donuts and get donuts and orange juice.
I said, what are we getting this for?
He said, you got to get this to the morning personnel
because they're so intimidated by us.
They think we're going to take their job, which we can't.
These motherfuckers are terrible.
But you got to pay them off so we can stay on the air long for the whole duration of the show.
Right.
Of their morning show.
So we got on there and I watched them from 6.
We got there about 5.30.
It was from 6 to 10.
He did the whole show.
When I tell you, it was no ticket sold
before we got there when we got off the air we sold out 6 8 10 and 12 on friday saturday and
sunday so when he was the first big act i ever had and when they went to settle up and they show how
much money he had like there it is So that's what I do now.
When I hit the radio, I'm selling tickets.
I'm making people say, who was that mofo that was on the radio?
I got to go see him.
Certain people get on there and interview.
Yeah, me and my kids look good.
And I'm working with Jamie Foxx.
Nobody want to hear that shit.
What they want to hear, are you funny?
And are you going to be funny tonight?
Right.
Simple.
Kids, you mentioned, I think you got two, right?
Three.
Three.
Had four, but it turned out to be a counterfeit baby.
There you go, Quake, Quake.
We not doing this.
No, it's a counterfeit baby. It's true.
If you want my story now.
Okay, tell the story of the counterfeit baby. What happened? Well, I don't want to tell, but it's true. If you want my story now. Okay, tell the story to counterfeit baby.
What happened?
Well, I don't want to tell, but...
Yeah, you do want to tell it.
No, I don't, but I'll tell it.
I was dating a chick for...
I wasn't dating her.
We was friends, associates.
With benefits, okay.
Well, you know how you meet a person.
Come on, man, you're a football player.
When you come into town, you want tickets.
You want to come see me.
We're cool. You do dinner. Right. Might pop off, it might not. They're a football player. When you come into town, you want tickets, you want to come see me, we're cool, you do
dinner.
It might pop off, it might not.
They're cool people.
Right.
Never ask you for nothing, tell you where to eat, what's hot, escort you through.
We had that kind of relationship.
Sixteen years, never asked me for nothing.
Any woman that I be with, I'm and I'll be what I'm gonna enhance you and what I mean by
have you even if I'm not your man I am gonna contribute to you to be a better
woman which if if it's within my ability and with her was put her through nursing
school help her to facilitate different things but anyway when my mother died, I was handling the funeral and everything. I drove up
to see her. And, you know, we, you know, got into it with, you know, we got intimate.
And then she came and told me she was pregnant. And she was saying, yeah, yeah, this, look,
this must be God, you know, God takes from you and gives to you.
And this is a woman I done had many accomplishments, countless.
Can't even, I don't got enough toes or fingers.
I don't want no more kids.
I damn sure don't want.
The next woman that's going to be the mother of my kids
is going to have to be the woman of my dreams.
I'm not trying to have somebody that's just eyed with me being the mother.
So anyway, she told me it was that since I knew him for 16 years, there was no reason for
me not to believe it, nor that I wanted to check on it and then come back positive. Then
I got a motherfucker for 18 years looking at my child. He never believed you was his
father anyway. You know, you don't want that. That's hard. So anyway, she told me how the kid named it after my mother and everything.
Kid got about three years old.
I'm flying up to Cleveland, taking care of her and everything.
So I don't know how you do it.
I invested in her in a point to say, listen, I want you to be self-sufficient because what happened to the last time in my relationship, they envy me.
I'm living my dream and they're not living yours.
Right.
So what we're going to do is she was a nurse at the jail.
I said, well, I don't want you.
That's dangerous. What you need to do is get your own agency and sit out here and put them on out as
independent contractors to nurse home. So we did that. My good friend Jermaine and all of us
facilitate with her, got her a government bid. I'm talking about six, seven figures on here.
So she booed. If I help her make her money, she ain't going to look at my pocket to get mine. That's what I'm thinking.
Yes, what are you thinking?
So I calls her
up one time and she doesn't
return my calls. And this is,
I call her Batman.
Gotham City, when I call her Yuli, I'm
reading the Bible.
Commissioner Gorin called Batman, he pick it up.
He pick it up. Yeah. She was that, but
this time she ain't calling me.
Like, what the hell going on?
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
So my child that I thought was my child, it was her time.
You know, it was his birthday.
I said, let me talk to him.
She wouldn't talk.
So all the things I went through, my previous baby mother going through, she went through.
I said, you'll be the last one I thought would take me through this with our child.
I don't know what I did to you or nothing.
So anyway, not hearing nothing from him.
I'm on his Father's Day show that I do in New York every year.
I'm on the radio.
I get a phone call.
And I haven't talked to him.
But it has area code 216, which is Cleveland.
So I'm thinking it's her.
It's her boyfriend.
Uh-oh.
He called the show? No, he called me. He called you, OK? Well, I was on the show. Right, you was on the her. It's her boyfriend. Uh-oh. He called the show?
No, he called me.
He called you, okay.
Well, I was on the show.
Right, you was on the show.
Okay, my bad.
So I'm like, hey, what's up?
And he said, hey, man, listen.
I just grabbed my girl's phone, her phone,
and I thought you was smashing my girl.
But as I grabbed her phone and went through it,
I could see that y'all are just co-parenting
and you're not trying to be with her.
I can't even let you go through that.
That is not your kid.
And then he sent me out of her phone all the daily texts
that she was having with the real father
while she was playing that role with me at that time.
Oh, man.
Her mother knew.
Her son knew.
Her brother knew. It was like the Truman Show. I was in that mother. The only one. They didn't know. Oh, man. Her mother knew. Her son knew. Her brother knew.
It was like the Truman Show.
I was in that mother.
The only one that didn't know.
Didn't know.
You know what I mean?
So that's why I call it a counterfeit baby.
Counterfeit baby.
Y'all not cool no more?
Hell no.
I ain't talked to her since the notification.
No.
There's nothing else to be cool about.
That's the worst thing you can ever do, to sit here and have someone else, me and the child, believe that I'm his father and have him play as my son for your own personal gain.
Now, I know certain women out here, and you might not know, but she knew, and she continued on with it.
And for that, I will never forgive her.
And I don't know about you, but it's a privilege to talk to me.
I'm like Luther Vandross.
Give me a reason not to fuck with you.
I don't think like that, Quig.
I'm just a normal guy.
Nah, fuck that.
Normal guy, abnormacy.
Ain't no normal motherfuckers out here putting up with that on if you sitting there
Treating them well and giving them the respect that they are how dare they how dare they I go somewhere else for that
Go on find that with somebody else you sports fan very much. So who you team?
Everything Washington you be killing my team to I just you know y'all good and terrible listen, man
We're getting through this. Yeah, I'll be commander. You know good way y'all terrible. Y'all good and terrible. Listen, man. We're getting through this.
We're the commanders. You know
good where y'all about to win nothing.
With that name? Listen,
when we win, the name will be good.
Who thought a cowboy would be good? I'm sorry,
motherfucker. They play like they don't even
practice. They are the Super Bowl winning
every year. You tell that to Skip.
They're terrible.
So who's your
basketball team? Washington Wizards.
Everything Washington.
Quake, y'all
had one of these things since, what,
79, Elvin Hayes and Wes Unsell?
Really? Bobby Danridge?
Well, you from Georgia. They even had the Hawks.
Yeah, we been.
Y'all ain't never
had a parade. At least we had one.
Well, they had a parade last year.
You ain't had, I'm talking about the Hawks.
The Braves!
You know you fucked up as a black man when you got to go to baseball to see your trophy.
Muffin ain't say football.
He ain't say basketball.
What about the Braves?
Hey, Hawks had a, the Hawks had a 28-3 lead.
Yeah, and every strip was still mad
because they had a million dollars on deck
and you blew it, Mac.
You blew it.
They did.
They did.
You were starting Shaq's All-Star Comedy Jam.
Yes.
How was that experience?
It was great.
And I looked at Shaq in his face, and I told him, I said,
I hope you, this is not an overnight thing or once.
I hope you're a facilitator for comedy.
See, one thing that happened with us comedians,
we have never had our Puffy.
We have never had our Russell Simmons.
And what I mean by that, Russell
Simmons did do Def Jam, but he let it go. We never had nobody facilitate our talent
to the gatekeepers. See, I admire rappers because Puffy will tell the A&R or the record
label, you ain't got to talk to my artists.
We will deliver the product to you and I guarantee you it'll sell.
Not for us.
For us to get a TV show, we have to go and collaborate with motherfuckers that have no
talent who are sitting here telling you how your story should be and how it should be
told.
And this is what you should put in this story.
And when the shit falters or fails, then you take the weight.
Quake Show didn't make it.
Well, I didn't want a gay dog flying at night.
You would say, you know, this would be a hit
if we have a gay dog in the place.
So that's what it is off of it.
And I was hoping that Shaq would take his leverage and continue on.
He said he was, but for whatever reason, it didn't.
Who's funnier, Shaq or Charles?
Charles, because he's able to be himself and it's accepted.
Charles will fuck a word up just like I do.
And it's funny.
Not gonna.
You say that shit.
You can put my name on it.
What do you say, that Subway commercial with Steph Curry?
You can put my name on it.
I could, but I'm not gonna.
Lee, Alabama ass be in that, motherfucker.
You know, I hung out with,
Barkley doesn't remember me,
but I hung with Barkley
when I was in Vegas
and watched him lose
a million dollars each night.
And my wife at that time,
my ex-wife was like,
come on, let's go.
I said, no,
it's a lesson in this.
On the roulette table,
a million every night
for two nights in a row. It was me, him, and the Biglette table. A million every night for two nights in a row.
It was me, him, and the Big Hurt.
Big Hurt lost about 30,000.
But Charles lost a million.
He's like, quick, I still got 72 left.
Let me ask you this.
You say you don't write your jokes down.
I mean, you know, rappers.
I mean, I guess Jay, Big Biggie Weezy they don't
write joke but how if you don't write it down how do you remember and take it to
a set and and and and comprise and have a compilation where you can just like
just flow because nobody know what it supposed to be but me long as I put it
together that is funny you don't know know because I am the only one know
what it's supposed to be.
I left out a lot of shit on my special.
The Netflix, right?
Yeah, especially January the 6th about shooting them on the fucking steps.
I left out a part and I haven't forgave myself, but it took another level.
I said I would have been John Wick up that bitch.
Pat, pat, pat, pat.
Slidding on the floor.
That, that, that, that, that.
But see, when you in it, you know, you see it.
So for me, I go with a subject,
and then it comes in my face,
and I just run with it what I see.
How hard is it now?
Quake, back in the day when you first started,
say your first 15 years, there was no cell phone.
Now you tell a joke, somebody going to replay it.
And then somebody else going to retweet it.
And then somebody else going to retweet it.
And a joke that you could tell for two, three years,
you only probably got two, three shows with it.
But see, that's the beautiful how I come up.
I don't even like hearing it that long.
You know what I'm saying?
I just, I don't understand how comedians
do the same shit over it.
You got to be tired of hearing it.
If you tired of hearing it, the crowd have to hear it.
But they like it.
I mean, you know, Chick-fil-A could sell burgers,
but they like that chicken sandwich, don't you?
Okay then, they feel like they still have it. Yeah, but a joke is something sandwich, don't you? Okay, then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But a joke is something that you can't repetitively keep on doing.
That is not the description of the occupation.
Right.
We're not singers.
We cannot sing the same hit song over and over.
Right.
You cannot tell a joke over and over again.
So you can't be Frankie Bambi and Lil Wayne.
Fuck no. Some of love. Can't doambi with a little man? Fuck no.
Summer love?
Can't do summer love.
Summer girl!
Summer girl, I mean summer girl.
All right, get down, get down.
Before I let go.
Before I let go.
You can't do it.
Bruh.
Oh, man, thank you.
You know you my man.
Man, quick, I appreciate you.
Always, man.
You're great. Tell your brother I said hello, man. I sure will, I appreciate you, bro. You know always, man. You're great.
Tell your brother I said hello, man.
I sure will.
I used to play with him on Madden all the time.
I sure will, bro.
I appreciate your time.
I know you're very busy, but, bro, you gave me a couple of minutes today.
I really appreciate that.
No, I appreciate any time.
I'm always a phone call away.
All my life, been grinding all my life.
Sacrifice, hustle, pay the price.
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