Club Shay Shay - Relle's Relationship Red Flags, Wife Material, Ranking Best R&B Songs | Humble Baddies

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

In this episode, Sharelle, Ashley, and Alexis discuss the expectations for wives vs. girlfriends in a relationship, a new segment called Relle's Red Flags, old folk getting freaky in the nursing homes, Humble Baddies' upcoming trip to the 2025 Grammy Awards, ranking their top 3 R&B songs, and answer mailbag questions00:00 - Intro02:30 - Wife Material vs. Fun Girl21:52 - Relle's Red Flags32:48 - Humble Baddies at the Grammy's38:00 - Top 3 R&B Songs45:00 - Mailbag(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.) #ClubSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You know who the pump is? Please stop! My mom says she don't want to date somebody with that. And she is at her particular age. How she know he had one? Because it's prep. You have to pump it to get it right. Wait, wait, wait.

Oh my god. I don't want to hear no more of these. Stop. He's controlling. He's possessive. He's a narcissist. You don't have time for that. As of right now, I'm getting into a relationship. In the future, actually, Nicole. Possessive he's a narcissist you don't have time for that Baby, won't you keep me company? Give me something to do when I get lonely.

I got something for you when we get home. If you let me put it down. What's up, y'all? It's another episode of Humble Baddies. I'm Alexis Stoudemeier. I'm Ashley Nicole. And I am Sherelle Rosado. And we are the Humble Baddies.

Okay, our main topic for today is wife material versus fun girl. Debunking the stereotypes about how women are perceived in relationships, things a wife does versus the things girlfriends do. Okay. What y'all think about that, ladies? My problem was I used to always do what a wife do before I was a wife. And that was a big issue because I mean,

I grew up in a household and I'm from the South. And you know, it's just in me. Like I saw everything that my mom did with my husband. I thought, okay, you in a relationship, y'all live together, cook, clean, y'all shackin'. We were shackin'. I'm doing everything that a wife do, but I'm a girlfriend.

That's the issue. And it's never too late to learn and change it up. So if you get into your next relationship, you just gonna be- Who said I was getting into another relationship? So I'm not getting into a relationship. I don't wanna get into a relationship. Ever, like you're good on it.

As of right now, I'm not getting into a relationship. But that's what I'm saying. In the future, you might want to. That's what I'm talking about. As of right now. I know, as of right now. But I'm saying- I'm not getting into a relationship. But that's what I'm saying. In the future, you might want to. That's what I'm talking about. As of right now. I know, as of right now. But I'm saying in the future. Actually, Nicole Willard.

Alexis. I'm enjoying dating right now. Dating is different from being in a relationship. I agree 100%. How will you enter a relationship being that you were married at one? Yes. At one time, do you feel like you will go into it in the same way

that you did in your past relationship? Because I know that you guys were together at a young age, you had babies, y'all were traveling the world, y'all were doing everything together. So I'm sure you were doing those wifely duties before you were actually a wife. Would you do it the same way? So to answer your question first.

Okay. No. Okay. But right now I feel like I am really cognitive of taking baby steps. I, in the past of dating, because I've been dating, really I've been divorced for four years. So it's been dating differently.

Okay. At the beginning, I was just in that wife mode of catering to, nurturing, and just like, I feel like I was overdoing it. And you don't think that you're doing it. Exactly. I didn't. I wasn't conscious of it. And so now it's like, now I'm more conscious of it. I'm more in the healed space, low key, to where I'm acknowledging that.

And I'm like, you know what? You gotta earn a little bit more. That's good. Because it's, this essence, and it's low key from dating that I learned more about my essence through talking to other men. Like just learning that.

But do you catch yourself sometimes like doing those wife duties? I do. Like damn, I'm doing too much, I gotta pull back. I do, 100%. I feel like you gotta earn it. And I'm the prize. That's how I feel.

I always have the analogy of being like Princess Peach at the Super Mario and Luigi, the Mario Brothers video game. I'm the Princess Peach that's at the last round, the last stage, and you got to come do go through all these hoops and you know, waves to come get you. So do you expect for the man to do any husbandly type duties before he's the actual husband? To me husband like duties would be like paying big bills and providing a lifestyle for me. Which a lot of women do though. Which a lot of women who are dating and-

I would not put that pressure on him at all because- But I feel like this generation, they make it easy. Like you have, especially the young athletes, they're paying the bills. They doing everything. Tricking to the fullest. Do you call it tricking or do you call it taking care of? I mean, I guess if you have it, it's not.

Or do you call it hush money? All of the above, I think. But to me, that's easy. That's the easy thing to do is to give the money. So the bar is low. So if they're giving the money though, and they're doing it, if you think that that's a husband like quality for somebody to do,

do you feel like it's fair for you to hold back on those wifely duties? But see, I feel like with this, with women, we don't look at it like that, the way men look at it. Like, we're not, okay, if he's not doing this, I'm not going to give him out. I'm not going to do this or be like a wife. We are naturally submissive. So we're going to do things and not even know it or not realize it that we're doing the things as what a wife does because in our natural instinct is to care for and love. But I feel like a lot of women will feel like if a man is paying for everything that they feel like he's providing so he's's acting like a husband. So maybe I should do my wifey duties now.

I don't know. It's kind of hard because a man can paper things. I feel like, you know, like there are some men that just give money. Right. They spend no time. They're gifting. They're just gifting. Like they're just, here's money, but there's no time provided.

So how can I give you those types of duties when there's no time provided. So how can I give you those type of duties when there's no time? It's just like, here's like money to go leave me alone so I can go deal with my other women. Yeah, no, I think that's a difference. Yeah, like I don't think that a woman would just give herself like a wife to a man who's just giving her money. Just being a tree. But I know a lot of women, giving her money. Just being a tree. But I know a lot of women, especially like- If that's the motive.

But like young women, when you are with a man who has it to give and to take care of you in a way, it does make you want to do those things. Yeah, it's enticing. Yeah. But it doesn't necessarily mean that he's like trying to be a husband and you should be doing those white things. And I think that's kind of where I had, Phil had caught me or whatever. Real young.

Bitch, that's why your ass still married. Yeah, but he didn't want to get married. What was his reason? For not wanting to get married? No, for eventually getting married. Well, what was his reason for not want to get married. What was his reason? For not wanting to get married? No, for eventually getting married. Well, what was his reason for not wanting to get married? Did he feel like he was too young? No, I think he just never had an example of it and it just wasn't on his mind.

Like, get married for what? You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't even in his realm of thought. Like, it just wasn't a thing. You know what I mean? But he was doing things that in my mind were what a husband does. Like he was paying for everything,

he was taking care of me. And when I say paying for everything, Phil's not the kind of like guy that's gonna go and spurge and buy me bags and dumb shit. He's not that guy, but he's definitely like, wrote some big checks for me, like clear. Be sure, he pays for you to get out the billet series. Yeah, exactly.

So that's what I'm saying. So in my mind, you know, I felt like, oh, he's providing for me. And he's- Let me do this. But he's at home with me. He spends time with me cause we're at home, but he just liked to be at home. Like, so in my mind, I'm like, oh, he's at home with me, he spends time with me because we're at home, but he just like to be at home. Like, so in my mind, I'm like, oh, he's doing husband stuff.

But the thing about it is, but you could think like that because if a man don't want to be with you and don't want to take it to that next level, they ain't gonna spend time with you. They're not gonna do it. They're not gonna do it. They're not gonna spend that much money on you.

Yeah, I wasn't, I mean, I knew he liked me or whatever. Right. Like I knew that, but he, I was't, I mean, I knew, I knew he liked me or whatever. Right. Like I knew that, but he, I was thinking, what I'm saying is all that shit he was doing in my dumb ass, young, naive mind, I was like, oh, he trying to be my husband. And that wasn't the fucking case. We're hopeless romantics. We grew up with like once upon a time, the prince comes and the princess and then happily ever after.

Like I'm falling back though, because I feel like I like to be courted. I like to have romance and I feel like, I give romance too, but I want that. I want someone to show the initiative. Like I have to do it going back to wifely things, I like to cook. I like to, that's one form of like my intimacy

or love language. So I am ready to go like, go get groceries, like let's stay home and let's cook a meal. I'm like, no, you gotta earn that. Like it takes time to get that kind of Alexis, you know, just that level of Alexis. That's something I cherish, you know what I mean? That I'm feeding you.

And so I can't give that off the rip. I don't want to. They have to earn that. Okay. So as an example, you just wait until you feel comfortable enough to give them that part of you. Certain levels.

Cause I think that's even levels of that, also intimacy. There's levels of that too. Like how much are you giving to them and like lowering the bar of, you know, being, you know, tied up or something, like whatever the case may be. Like there's levels to all of that. Just like there's levels to financial presence

and things like that. It takes time. I just want to build. It's a balance between both parties. To receive, you have to give, and that's both. And you'll know if that's the person, like, okay, I'm going to take it to that next level. I'm going to take it to that next level. And a man know, like, he'll probably knew,

like, okay, this is my girl. He didn't want to say it. He was investing his time with you. He was investing, but he just didn't know at that moment. But I give my hat off to y'all. Y'all don't know. Yeah, he invested in, and the returns have been. Yeah, but I just say to younger women,

you know what I mean? We don't listen to our parents when they're like, don't shack up. There's a reason for that. That's so real. Because they don't want us to give all of that away too early. You know? And...

And I was asked when she was shacking away. We were shacking up. We were shacking up. We were shacking up. Phil and my dad had to have a whole conversation. I was like, I still don't know what they said to this day. But I remember it like it was yesterday. Like Phil came over to the house and my dad was like,

let me talk to you outside. Period. And your daddy be serious too. Whatever Phil said was good. He must have said the right things because we was good. We kept on shacking. It was what it was. You know what I mean? But it's the reason why like our parents say don't shack

because you end up doing things for a man that doesn't deserve it. What do they say? Why buy the cow if the milk is free? Right. That was something. Yeah. But I was three and a half kids shackin' up

and then we finally got married, but you know. Same, so I mean. Shit, I was married and divorced. So, I mean. Shit, I was married and divorced. Married and then divorced. Yeah, I mean, I think we should have these conversations more about what it really feels like to just do too much for a man too early.

Even if you are in love, I was madly in love with Phil, but I shouldn't have been doing what I was doing. I was- Yeah, we definitely do. I was learning how to cook neck bones at one point, like calling my mama, mama, how you seasoning these neck bones? How you cleaning these neck bones?

I was showing up. You were really showing up. I was trying to win him over. I mean, he did marry me, but it's like, God damn, like, I'm young, I'm 22 years old, why the hell am I here? We were doing a most- Full time job, active duty, and still trying to do all this

and I don't have a ring on my damn finger. Yeah, very, very grown up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I just think that it comes to time and a place for it. I think because of social media, we're seeing the romance, we're seeing the cars for the birthdays, we're seeing the big things, the roses, and it's just becoming very competitive. It's very performative. It's very performative. It's what it is.

Yeah. So I think that's kind of altered it too. But just being single and dating, I feel like it's a competition because there's so many options. So everyone is doing their back flips and their cartwheels and they bringing out their best tricks and they, you know. I think, and I think that's to go back to your question, Ashley, why I don't want to get into a relationship.

I have been in relationships my whole life. I haven't had a chance to see what Sherelle wants, like to learn me, to know what, like to actually go out and date. And it's okay to date. I think people have the problem of dating as, oh, you got to sleep. You don't have to sleep.

Learn who you are, learn what you like. Change the type of men that you attract. Because we have a problem where we are attracting the wrong type of things. I agree. So I need to learn what I really like and who I am. So that's to answer. I don't see myself getting into a relationship right now. Like I want to learn me. I'm in a different era now. I congratulate you on that because you have to take time. You have to take time for yourself. We give so much, we have children, we have other people that depend on us for so much.

We have to get back to ourselves. I had that time. I had that time. And the problem with me is no matter how much I say, I'll change and I don't wanna give the wife duties, I'm gonna instantly fall because I'm a mother, I'm a nurture. That's right. So I'm gonna instantly fall into that role of giving those wifely duties.

And it's attractive. But it's just interesting. It's just who you are. Yeah, natural instinct. So I think it's smart of you to really take that time, find out what you want, who you want, because then it will be easy for you to let that guard down and to be who you really are and not have to hold back everything that you are that makes you so great.

And whoever you end up with is gonna be able to appreciate it even more. But date them all, sis, date them all. Just gonna put that out there, date them all. Okay, I'm living through y' all, sis. Date them all. Just gonna put that out there. Date them all. Okay. I'm living through y'all. Okay. So call me.

I'm gonna be texting y'all when y'all at the date. You know, if it's a date. Like girl, this is. But the good thing is you can go home. I like it because I can go home to my bed. I can go home to my kids. Like I can go home. If I don't want to deal with something,

I'm like, I'm out of here. And that's what I don't have to date no more. You sleep peacefully at night. Yes. Snoring, slurping out the mouth. All of that. All of that. All of that.

Yes. I love that. Y'all just how me and Ashley is. Don't take it, don't take it serious. Me and Ashley be- Yes. We go back very close. This is, we'll be going back and forth.

We get panting with each other. We'll be like, bitch I, we get petty with each other. But it's all love. It's all love. Don't y'all be in the comments. What is it? Gay enough? No, this is real love. Real family, real sisters.

I love you too. Always. That's a little love. Love it. But yes, I love it. I love it though. And I talk to my daughter about it, love it. But yes, I love it. I love it though. It's a good place to be. And I talk to my daughter about it too.

I tell her, don't give it all. Because she's in love, obsessed with this Tyler. I love Tyler to death. He just signed a Georgia Bulldogs. But they've been love birds since sixth grade. Sixth grade? I love that. Right down to sixth grade.

It's cute, it is cute. They need to go and, you know, let their leave. The goal is to stay together while he's in Georgia. And then maybe they'll come back together. Yes, I'm like, girl, go out and, you know, go experience college, have fun. You gon' meet. I said that with Array.

She's been with Joey for a couple years now since high school. It's her first boyfriend, everything. So it's like, I'm like, y'all in college, y'all don't want to date it, try it or whatever. But like low key, his parents are still together. They met at like 19, 20, and then obviously her dad and I met at 19.

But the thing about it is, do you think people get curious? Like, damn, what if I was able to date a little bit more before I got into the serious relationship? I think they get comfortable and not curious. I think you just have to spice it up. A lot of people who've been in relationships a long time, if you're not, like that's why I respect y'all relationship because it's not, y'all just don't check the box in y'all

relationship. Like you still have your girl time. It's balanced there. That's right. Like you still have your girl time. It's balanced there. Like you still have your girl time. You go out, feel half his guy time and y'all bring it back together. Y'all still spice it up. I think in a lot of relationships

that you see that have been together a long time, it's like, you can tell. It's like they look at each other and roll their eyes. They don't want to be there. Yeah. That's real. They'll be getting on my nerves and then I just call y'all and I'll be like,

can we go out? Yes. And then you be like, I'm going home. You better come to town in the future. After bringing him some food back too. Yes. You know, you know, you know. Let me order my man some food.

I already know. Y'all be reminding me, don't forget to order your man some food. We got you sis, we got you all the time. Yeah. Do you look at us, the nurturers in us is like, don't forget we got you. Yeah, yeah, I'll make sure I. I live it though, we live it through you Ashley.

That's right. You're a ghost. Thank y'all, don't live through me. I'm living through y'all. No, you can live through us and we live through you. Ain't nothing wrong with that. It's balanced, it's balanced. It is balanced.

We want a team to have in that beautiful relationship that stands the test of time. Thank you. Absolutely. That stands the test of time. Thank you. Absolutely. That's the goal for sure. Especially with black families. That's racist. You don't see that a lot.

So that's what I love. And you have two boys. Y'all pray for us. It ain't going nowhere. Cause I can't see you with nobody else and I can't see Phil with nobody else. It's supportive prayer. Yes.

Protection prayer. If something happen, I'ma be in jail. I'ma be up under the jail. I'ma be up under the jail. We ain't even gonna speak like that because ain't nothing happening. Yeah, no. Facts.

All right, ladies. I have something new for the humble baddies. What you got for us? It's called Real Red Flags. Ooh. Real Red Flags. Real Red Flags. Oh, I love them. So, the thing about Real Red Flags is I'ma give you guys scenarios. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Okay. All right. Y'all ready? Yes. The first one is he still texts his ex

Happy birthday every year red flag. Holla. Holla He can't text his ex happy birthday, why the fuck is he texting his ex? Why do you still have her phone number? Why do you still know her birthday exactly? Why are you thinking about that? Was it that bad? I don't give a fuck if it was good as fuck. I don't care. She's an ex for a reason. Yeah, you would be okay with your man texting his ex. Happy birthday. I'm not mad at it.

I don't believe that Lex. I'm not mad at it. I don't need to text for my ex. So your man is texting his ex every year specifically on her birthday. If I know it would... For what though? I mean... But you don't know that he's... Why does it have to be so like cut off ties? Why does it have to be so like...

It's not cut off. I don't give a fuck. Y'all could have left on good terms, but you don't need to... Because she may think that there's something still there. I think I'm just would be confident in it. What's the purpose though? It ain't about confidence. It's about respect. I'm just saying, it doesn't bother me.

So every year he makes sure he send her a happy birthday. For example. And he forget one year to send your ex happy birthday. I would hope that, like my ex for example, I would hope that his lady would be like, make sure you show her some love. But I'm just saying. When was your birthday?

When is your birthday, Lex? I mean, y'all have kids together. I guess I get that a little bit. But I think it's a way to go about it. Like if I had children with somebody and I wasn't with them anymore, I would just like give them a card to my kids. I would tell my son, yeah, here, make sure you go. I wouldn't with them anymore. I would just like give them a card to my kids.

I wouldn't do it personally. I would do it through them because that's how we're connected. I get it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's just my opinion. But you know, I don't know. I just don't believe you.

I'm still hollering the fuck out of that bitch. I think you would do it just because you just saying it. I'm not saying it just because it's just, I don't think, y'all know me, I'm not holding grudges and all that kind of shit. Like, it's just a text. You was just talking about the other day last time, oh, he did not introduce me to his new girl.

Yes, I should be held at a higher regard, 100%. Just like, even if it's not me being texted, happy birthday, it should be my kids sending a gift. He should be initiating that. I 100% think that. But your kids old enough to send their own gift to their mom. They are. But they can get a bigger budget from their father. But I don't know. I'm just saying. You know what I mean? I know. I encourage them. I That seems like a lot. I'm just saying. You know what I mean. I encourage them.

I encourage them to do that. I don't know. I can't. I love you, Mephsis, but I don't agree with you on this one because I wish they would send... You better let me find out. That's just me. That's a lot. I mean, what do you need a happy birthday text for?

This is a happy birthday text. It's not sending roses. But men barely even remember dates. Exactly. That's the way it is. No, it ain't exactly. The fact that they're going out their way to send their ex a happy birthday, that's a red flag for me. I'm just saying. Well, what if your birthday is tattooed on them? That's their problem. That's a pasta reminder, you know what I'm saying? What, his birthday, what you trying to say? I'm just saying, you won't forget.

Period. You know, I was just in it, you know what I mean? Just was in his life forever. So it's like, you know, February 27th. So as long as he's sending you a happy birthday, that's my grandma's birthday. Y'all some little freaks too. We are.

Y'all grandma was a freak. I ain't, I'm just saying, my grandma. That's what you said. That's why my grandma stayed married to my grandaddy for years. Okay, same last. I get this. Like years, she had four girls.

They still in the same, God bless my grandaddy. But my grandma, you know, Olamay Allen laid it down. Okay, I believe it. Olamay Allen, God bless the dad, was happy. A happy pastor. A happy pastor. A happy pastor. Okay. You okay Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. Okay said it. Listen, no, y'all gonna be surprised. Cause a lot of the older you get.

The grandmamas with me. Yes, they be busting it. Listen, don't be surprised. We have to keep it going, don't we? Yeah. It don't stop. It don't, it gets, I'm telling y'all. Guess what, guess what.

I done heard, overheard. Your grandmama doing it? Not my grandma. Your mama?ama doing it? Not my grandma. But my best friend, her grandma, had condoms in her drawer. And not only condoms, she had a deal, though. Oh, yes, she should. And she was 80 years old. Grandma said she popular.

80. But you hear what's going on in those senior communities. They have all the STDs. Yeah, they do. They do. All STDs. Yeah, they do. They do. All of them. They do. I don't know what I mean.

Look up in the villages. That's like a retired older. All they have is time. Yes. What do you? It's the truth. It's not funny, but it's the truth. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

I'm just saying. Is that you busting it wide open? Yeah. Oh my god. OK. That's it mustin' it wide open? Yeah. Oh my God. Okay, back it. That's it. I'm just... I hope I am too.

They be having pumps and all. Oh my God. You know what a pump is? Stop! Oh my God. My mom said she don't want to date somebody with that. And she is at her particular age. How she know he had one?

Because it's prep. You have to pump it to get it right. Wait, wait, wait. Oh my God. I don't want to hear no more it right. Wait, wait, wait. Oh my God. I don't want to hear no more of this. Stop.

Some people got them, you know? Oh. Let me get back to the real wet place, please. Please. I'm just saying. How did we get off on this tangent? Well, you asked. When you get, you know. You said your grandma was a freak. No, I did not. You'm just saying. How did we get off on this tangent? Well, you asked- When you get, you know-

You said JoJarama was a freak. No, I did not. You asked that question. I just said, oh, that's my grandma's birthday. Pisces are- and then you was like- And I agree. Your grandma- oh. I am.

Ashley started this conversation. Oh, God. Okay. The second one. He follows every Instagram model, but you're nowhere on his page at all. Red flag. Red flag. Flag on the play.

Red flag. Horrible. Red flag. I don't like that. Holla ass. Get on out of there. That's horrible. Yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't say I would holla ass, but it's definitely a red flag. I mean, it's a red flag. So you would just tell him to switch it up or post more? I would find a way to say it real cute without telling him what to do. And if he don't catch a hint, then I'm hollering ass. No, you just gotta be like, babe, what's the point of following all these Instagrams?

I'm not gonna do that. Cause I just, I want you to do what you want to do. I'm gonna let you know like, ill, I don't really find that attractive. You know what I mean? And then I'm gonna see if you can catch a hint and then switch it up. But if you don't switch it up on your own,

then, but I don't like telling men what to do. Like, you need to know. You should know. You should know. Yeah, I'ma give you a hint on how I feel about what we talking about. You know what I mean? But it's like, what if it's like,

like in the social media right now, it's like, you know, you've heard of soft launch or like the hard launch, right? So like, if you, we know people that are just like hard launched, like their booze, if he was following all these ladies and then, you know, now all of a sudden, you know, he's posted his lady, then it should, it should change 100%. But if not, girl, that don't mean shit. Keeping it private, that's not cool.

I don't like that. I mean, as long as you can follow who the fuck you want to follow. Of course. But if we're like in a for real relationship and you're choosing purposely not to post me, then that's a problem. That's the whole ass.

Because anybody can see who you follow. Why the fuck you following them? Yeah. I feel you. Okay, this one is from a female perspective. She refuses to split the bills because she thinks relationships should be traditional where the man should pay all the bills.

Orange, black, almost gray. That's tough. Because of the situa... Like, I'm traditional. I feel like a man should provide majority of the big bills. Will I be paying a couple if something pops off? Absolutely. But I feel like it's your dynamic at the beginning.

Like if you're traditional and you want to stand on that then stand on it. So to me, it will be a red flag. Yeah. I would say orange. It's not a red, cause financials are tricky. You know, money changes, situation changes.

So, you know, I feel like you never know. One day you might be down bad and you should be able to be there and pick your man up if need be. So just being like, I'm out if he can't pay the bills, that's real, that's kind of fucked up. Yeah, it depends on the situation because I've been in my relationships.

We like, of course the man took care of the majority of the bills, like the big bills. And I took care of the little bills, but if she don't want to split nothing, not even the little groceries in the house. Yeah, that's a red flag for me. That's a red flag. Because what if, you know, I'm that man and I'm with you

and I can't depend on you. And now you want to leave me when I'm down and out. Because I can't hold the ground for like, hold the fork down for like a month or two. Yeah. That's why the men's is mad right now because they feel like the women is just out here. Taking. Right. Taking, taking, taking. That's true.

Yeah. Okay. Real red flags. Real red flags. You all let me know what you guys think. Let us know how we did on Real Red Flags. We cannot wait to hear what you guys have to say. We read them. We see. We read all the comments. I read all the comments.

I be trying to respond to all of them too. I read. Really? I do. I try to engage with my followers. Some of them I block. Yeah. Like you out of here. Get your ass out of here. All right, you guys. to engage with my followers, some of them my block. Yeah, like you outta here. Get your ass outta here.

All right, you guys, guess what's coming up? What we got? We got the Grevy. Ooh, Grevy Music Awards. I'm excited, you guys, because I have never went, girl, we're going. I'm so excited. I've been before.

Really? Yes, in 2012. How was that? It's an experience. You guys are gonna have so much fun. I'm so excited. I've been before. Really? Yes, in 2012. How was that? It's an experience. You guys are going to have so much fun. I'm excited. I was invited with my daughter who had a classmate of a producer who produced diamonds for Rihanna. Oh.

So we got to go and they actually won the Grammy. So we walked the red carpet. That was amazing. She got a little designer outfit, hair and makeup. We gotta find a designer to wear. Ashley, I was in La Vente. Okay, La Vente. And so was my baby girl.

Okay, you have to get on that. So you gotta get ready. Ashley, we gotta get right. Y'all gotta get it right. Oh my God, okay. And it's fun. There's pre-Grammy parties. There's like, I don't know if it's the- It's the parties.

It's the parties. It's the parties that I'm ready for. The energy that is in LA with all the musical entertainment, the producers, it's a vibe. Well, we're excited. We have to, if there are any designers that want to style us. Yes. How you doing? I'm a stylist.

Listen, we're going to make sure we're going to wear good, you know? But like live is different too, because they'll pause and stop and then like you see people getting up going to the bathroom and like then they'll play like the interlude and like the music. It's fun. It's an experience. We can't wait. We're going to go and we're going to come back and let you, we're going to share our

experiences with your experience when you went. I love that. Yes. Are you went. We can't wait, girl. Yes. I'm sitting for anybody in particular? Yes. Yeah? Everybody black. Well, no, that's right.

Well, listen. I know that's right. I'm hoping Shaboosie get some type of award because I felt like the CMA did him so wrong. Like how you have the longest running song on the Hot 100. Was it the longest? It was the longest. Oh my God.

It was the longest. That's crazy. He was tied up with Nas X. Lil Nas X. Yeah, Lil Nas X. Wow. And they didn't... That's disrespectful.

It is. So I'm hoping Shabuzy get something. He's a black country singer, and I feel like he's underestimated in the music industry. Well, I'm glad Beyonce featured him in her Christmas performance. Did y'all see that? Yes, that was epic.

That was dope. That was like a Super Bowl performance. That was shout out to us, Beyonce. She featured a few black women artists. All the country singers. Yeah, she did. She did that. She women artists. All the country singers. Yeah, she did. She did that. She really put them on the map

and gave them their shine that they deserve. So shout out to Beyonce. She's a humble baddie. And the Black Writing Academy. She also highlighted them. Just all the different notes that she adds to the influence of country music. She was very intentional about that performance.

And that's why I'm hoping Shabuzy gets something. So we're rooting for you, Shabuzy. Yes. Yes, we're rooting for you. And we want to give you your flowers to the humble daddy. You and Lil Nas X. Lil Nas X, we're going to give you some pink flowers. But Shabuzy, we want to give both of you guys your flowers because your work is not unnoticed.

Right. Well deserved. And we putting that out there that you gonna win. Yes, absolutely. Yes, yes, yes. All right, guys. So while we're talking about music, I think we should have a little competition. talking about music, I think we should have a little competition. Oh, now we're going to let our followers determine who has the best top three R&B songs. So we're going to go.

So wait, top what kind of song? R&B. Just R&B. R&B. Okay. No matter what era. Oh, like love, old school. We could do 90s. Let me get in my R&B bag real quick. Listen, that's crazy. Like, cause we could do old school, we could do 90s, we could do the 80s. Let me get in my R&B bag real quick. Listen.

That's crazy. You pick, we're gonna go one, we're gonna go each time one row. So it's gonna be a competition. We're gonna let our fans pick, we'll put it together. Who has the best? Like, in any order, like our third, or just, we'll just do one at a time in year number three?

We can bounce off of each. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I ain't scared because I got a good list. I ain't scared either. Who said anybody scared? Listen, I'm an R&B queen. Oh, you scared? It's funny because we got different, like, you know,

y'all know my parents are older. I'm an old school person. Okay, we're going to see what's up. I'm trying to, I think I'm trying to get the classics. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, I got mine. All right, so who goes first?? Yeah. Okay, I got mine. All right, so who goes first?

Let's. Okay, I'll start. All right, my number three is Cherish the Day by Sade. Ooh. Cherish the day. That is a good one. That's a good one, okay. That's a good one.

Going straight. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. So I chose the classic, okay? Anytime you put on, you know, the playlist, the R&B playlist, they're gonna play this song. It's Weak by SWV.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Everybody know them words, all the words. I get so weak in my knees. I can hardly speak. I lose all control. And if something takes over me in a day. Yes!

Me, me, me, me, me. That's a good one, Ash. Okay, I'm going to bring it back. That's a good one. I'm going to bring it back a little bit, and I'm going to go with Rick James and Tina Marie. Fire and Enzyme. That's really awesome. Okay, okay.

Yes, yes, yes. All right. All right, back. Rick James and Tina Marie. Fire and the Dyer. That's real awesome. Okay, okay. Yes, yes, yes. All right. All right, bet. So we on, well, I didn't go that old.

Round two, round two, round two. Okay. This one was sent to me by a friend of mine. Ooh, is it our friend? It's our friend. Oh my gosh. Okay, girl. And it was a good one.

They talking it cold. It was a good one. And it's unthinkable by Alicia Keys. Okay. How'd I go? If we do the unthinkable, what'll make us look crazy? If I ask you, I'm ready. Oh, y'all ready. Oh, I'm ready. I think he's trying to send you a subliminal message. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, my second one is. I'm going to tell you what to send him on my second one. Oh, I love that. I love sending songs.

Yeah, it's a different frequency. I need you to send us one. That's kind of like a love language like singing songs, like speaking through songs. That's sexy. I'm gonna start doing that again. I ain't do that in a minute. That was your friendly reminder. Yeah, so I'm gonna do that.

Okay. My second song is Doo Wop, That Thing. That thing, that thing, that thing. Yeah, that one. Alright. I don't sound good. My second one is H-Town, Knockin' the Boots. Somebody rockin', knockin' the boots.

Ayy. Okay. Give me some good love. You nasty. Send that to him. I will. I sure will. Nasty. Send that to him, send that. I will. I sure will. Nasty.

I told you to be ready. Okay, my number one. This is for all my lovers. You know, this is the Quiet Storm. Caught up in the Rapture by Anita Baker. That was also sent to me too. Oh, okay Lex, okay. So y'all know that one.

Wait. Caught up in the rapture of you. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. I ain't even finna lie. Y'all know, the humble baddies know. I need to hear it. I need to hear it.

Yeah. Hold on, I think I got my last one. My last one is a little controversial I think I got my last one. My last one is a little controversial because I think he got canceled. Oh, Tori Lanes. R. Kelly. R. Kelly. I knew it. Oh. R. Kelly.

R. Kelly made some hits. Hits. Hits. Hits. Let's talk about it. I mean, can we un-cancel him? Let's talk about it. I feel like he's doing the time, you know uncancel him? I feel like he's doing the time, you know what I'm saying? Which one? Which song? I mean, I just did Bump and Grind, but there's so many.

Yes, R. Kelly had some hits, baby. That whole album, 12-play album was, you know what I mean? Can we play R. Kelly now or no? I mean, I still play R. Kelly. You never stopped playing him? I ain't never, I didn't counsel him. I stopped. I feel like it's not in my rotation anymore, like my streaming rotation.

I'm going to bring him back. I'm going to bring him back. I ain't going to say pull R. Kelly because he know he was wrong. We can separate the music from the crime. I think we equate the music to like memories too. Like, I Believe I Can Fly was like played at everybody's graduation. So, you know. Because in a minute we're going to have to stop listening to all the music because everybody

is going to get canceled. But that's another kind of thing. Go ahead. What's your next? Okay, this one is specifically dedicated to my ex. Uh oh. Oh. It is by SFP. specifically dedicated to my ex. Uh oh. Oh.

It is by SFP. My love is the shh. How'd I go? Boy you never find another love as good as this. He sure won't. Ooh, you puttin' up chat. So I better represent. He already know.

Cause my love is the, boom baby. He already knows. Cause my love is the bomb baby. I miss videos. Hey. I miss all of that. Like what's up? That one, it was a tie between that, but I felt like I should've dedicated the song and Here and Now by Lista VanDross.

Oh, that's a good honorable mention. Yeah, that's a good one. We could do this. We could do this round for round. Like we could really do this. Faithfully. That is a good honorable mention. Yeah, that's a good one. We could do this, we could do this round for round. Like we could really do this. Face for me. That is a good song. Yes.

That's a good wedding song. Yeah, I know. Alla Luther Van Jost. Oh, Big Luther too. So you guys, y'all let us know who had the best playlist out of the top three. We wanna hear you guys guys thoughts in the comments, drop them below.

Don't cancel me cause I like R Kelly. Y'all know y'all be listening to him too. All right. Thank you so much for that. That was fun. I enjoyed that. Now we got to go update our playlist. Yes, we do. We do. We do.

Thank you for that. Guess what time it is y'all. What time? Oh, do that. Guess what time it is, y'all. What time? Oh, do that. What time is it? Like time during your morning show. Do y'all remember that? Humblebatties mail time.

Okay, what time is it? Humblebatties mail time. What time is it? Humblebatties mail time. What time is it? That's what time it is. Okay, y'all ready for this one? Yes.

Thank you all so much for your submissions too. Please continue sending them in and you could be featured. So here we go. I don't know Lex, we might get another lover, secret lover. Secret lover? I did have a lover, didn't I? In the Humby Buddies, man. Okay, well, you know.

That's got her secret boo now. For real? Okay, anyway. All right, here we go. Hi ladies. My name is Amy. Hi Amy. And I'm writing you from Dallas.

Okay, Dallas. First off, thank you for creating such an amazing podcast. You're welcome. It feels like the only place I turn to for advice right now. Here's what's been weighing on me. I've been seeing this guy for about eight months. And at first everything seemed great, but lately he's become really possessive.

He doesn't let me wear certain clothes, like anything tight or that shows off my body. I'm like, oh, curious. And he asked me for my social media passwords multiple times to check if I'm talking to guys. Whole ass. Whole ass. Wait, that's not the game right now.

Go ahead. Focus. It's starting to feel overwhelming, but I can't tell if this is just normal relationship stuff or if I'm overthinking. Girl, what the mean? You can't, what? Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I don't know how to handle this, and I could really use your advice. Is this something I should be worried about, or am I reading into it too much? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. What's her name, Cindy? Amy. Amy.

Amy, call ass. Call ass. There's nothing to think about. There's nothing to consider. You just need to call ass. He's given all the haul ass. There's nothing to think about. There's nothing to consider. You just need to haul ass. He's given all the red flags. He's controlling, he's possessive. He's a narcissist.

You don't have time for that. You have to let that go before it gets worse. Because if he's starting off now like that, it's gonna get even worse. Haul ass. And don't look back. Burn rubber. Damn.

What do you think, Ash? Yeah, I mean, she said it all. She really diagnosed the fuck out of him, honestly. She did, she let him have it. She did. But I think her already having that feeling in her gut, that intuition, like you already know. You just looking for somebody to tell you

what you already know. Like you already know, if it already feels off, it's off. It's not right for you. If it doesn't feel comfortable, girl, run. Just, there's no point in saying it. Social media. Early, eight months in? I just think he's got something going on.

So that's becoming like, let me see what she got going on just because I'm doing the most. It's controlling. 100%. And you know, behind- That's a lot of heavy energy too. When you have controlling, there's more things behind you.

It's a domino effect. Exactly. If you control, you do this. If you do this, you got a quick temper. If you got a quick temper, you ask for abuse of evidence. And then if you get into that one thing, then it's going to be something else next week that he's going to want and control you. She can't even be herself. So Amy, call ass Amy.

Call ass. Get the fuck on. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Yeah. Find another Dallas man. Yes, there's plenty of them out there. It is. Yeah, girl. Hope this helps Hope we answered your question. Thank you for submitting. Thank you so much Actually feel bad for you. Here's how she talking It ain't, it ain't. Let them go, boo.

Real red flag, that's it. We gonna pin it. Real red flag. Yeah. We thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Humble Baddies. I am Sherrell Rosado. I'm Alexis Tottemeyer.

Ashley Nicole. Make sure you guys subscribe. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube. We'll be back until next time. Thanks for watching guys!