Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - 94: Kail's Dirty Secrets, Questioning Sexuality, & Getting Married

Episode Date: August 29, 2019

An impromptu episode this week! Lindsie takes the week off, and Kail welcomes her best friend Becky on the show. They talk about Kail's new house & progress Kail's made over their 8 years of friendship. They discuss dirty secrets & fights. They talk about therapy, reconnecting w/ friends, and the loss of a friendship. They discuss the Teen Mom 2 reunion. Becky talks about girls questioning their sexuality when they meet her. They discuss Leah & Kail getting married, Becky's purpose in life and in starting For the Hayters.

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Coffee Combos. I have, Lindsay is not on this episode unfortunately, but I have a highly requested guest with me as my co-host, Becky Hader. What's up guys? I am so excited to finally come on and be here and to exploit Kale for all her dirty, dirty secrets. I have no dirty secrets. Yeah, we could go with that.

We're actually podcasting from my room, my bedroom, because as I've talked to you guys about before, I've moved into a new house and I have no storage in my office, so my office is honestly a shit show. Well, talking about the new house, it's so, I was thinking about it on my drive here. Why? Why was I thinking about your new house? Yeah. Because I was driving here and I was thinking about things that we could talk about and

it's crazy when I met you. You were living in like a two bedroom apartment. It was like a, it was like a townhouse kind of. It was like a, a row home. Yeah. It was like renting and now you bought this like huge mansion. It's not a mansion. It's a, yeah, this huge mansion and it's crazy to like see the like progress that you've

made in your life since I've met you. It's really weird for me because it's like, I get online and some people congratulate me and they're like, I'm so proud of you. And I'm like, fuck yeah, like I'm doing something right. And then other people are like, oh, you got knocked up and now you can afford this big ass house. And it's like, well, if I stayed where I was at always, then it would be like, you don't do anything with your life.

Like you have this platform and you make this money and you don't do anything. And then if I do something, it's like, well, you have all this shit because you got knocked up. Well, I mean, I would just like to say that I have used the platform and the opportunity that I got to launch myself into different directions in order to make other income and get my degree so that I could continue to provide outside of the show. Yeah. And that, and it's awesome.

And I think that as like a friend that's been around for so long, I get to see it a lot more than like a lot more details of things than people that just see you for the 15 minutes every Monday. It's not even 15 minutes. It's like four and a half of just me. Sometimes like, are you salty about it? Sometimes four minutes. Sometimes five.

Why haven't you on your own TV show yet then? We're working on it. But wait, fuck, what did you don't do curse on this? Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I do curse all the time. Lindsay doesn't cause as much, but that's because I would like to say she's more wholesome than me.

Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny because we've tried to plan to have you on an episode with Lindsay and I, but we wanted to do it in person so that we could do the pictures and do all of that stuff because everyone online loves you like everyone.

So we wanted to do it together, but I was thinking Lindsay and I are wanting to get together for the next podcast we do in person, we were wanting to do it in Philly. So I was thinking that maybe you could get on again so that you can meet Lindsay and then um, V maybe, and then there's um, my aunt's friend is a human, well, I'd say human disector because that's what she calls herself, but she's a pathologist assistant and she's also in Philly. So I'm going to try to get her on the podcast. Um, and so it would be cool just to have like you guys as like the three of you guys

as guests and we could do it from Philly because we've, I've recorded from Atlanta, I've recorded from Tennessee, um, Texas, California, but we've never recorded from my house. Yeah. So I would like to do my area. Yeah. So I would love to do that. But um, so maybe we can plan that out so that you can meet Lindsay in person. I just, people love you on social media and sometimes I'm just like y'all think that you

love her and then you meet her in person and she really is exactly like you are who you are online, but better. It's funny cause like people, the only reason people like me from your end of things, like the people that know me through you is because I'm the only person that calls you out on your shit. So I have a couple of people that do that, um, but it's just not the same. I get a little bitter and salty when other people do it, but when it to you, I know it's coming from a good place.

Like other people, yeah, they're telling me how it is, but also it's like not what you say. It's how you say it. And I feel like you try to help me where like maybe not everyone else is like trying to be helpful. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm pretty good with people in general and situations. Right.

I mean, but Becky has so many best friends that I don't even consider myself a best friend anymore because I'm not as important as them. Me and Kale have been in a couple of fights and every time we get in a fight, I, are they fights? What are they? They're not fights. Yeah. We got one fight where we were screaming at each other.

We got, we got in a couple of fights and they always, it always ends up me telling you how I feel and telling you, you need to communicate better with me and show that you care. And then you always yell and say, you have so many fucking people that care about you. What does it matter if I care about you? And you try to justify it because I have other people that care that you don't have to. And that's not the way it works. I do justify that.

I don't, I do care about you, but it's like you have a million, like you don't just tell me stuff. You tell, you're all your best friends. So like, I'm not as, I'm not as special. So I get mad. Do you know what I mean? No, I don't. You don't know it.

You know. Okay. Well, you don't tell me shit. Yes, I do. There's stuff that I tell you. I don't tell anybody else. Well, that's because you know, I'm not going to go run around and tell people. I know, but like, I'm not important to you enough to know one of your secrets that nobody

else knows. You probably do. Probably not. Actually, I don't have secrets. My point. But there's nothing that I have. No one has secrets of mine because I don't have secrets. Okay.

I'm not some like closet, like secret, secret keeper. Right. I'm an open book. All right, guys. Let's take a second to talk about something. Have you had a long day at work, a tough day at school, or are you still stuck at the office? Or if you were like us this morning sitting in our hotel wanting to treat ourselves to

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Oh, I wanted to talk to you about something that you tweeted. I tweet a lot of things. You tweeted the other day about going to therapy over a friendship that you lost a long time ago. And at first I related to it because I felt like there was a couple people that I lost in the last year that literally in that entire year I never stopped thinking about them. But then I also related to it on another level because I think that I'm still like, I have this problem where like I think about my best friends from my childhood and I'm like, wow,

like I really care about them and like wonder how they're doing and like they don't give a fuck about me. So I'm like, I'm still thinking about like the time that we, I don't know, like memories and they probably don't think about it and it's like it eats at me sometimes. But how do you know they don't think about it? Is it people that you don't talk to like you have bad blood with them or is it? No, no, no, no, no, bad blood. So they reach out to them.

If you think of someone, if you have like this like feeling of, oh wow, like I want like reach out to them. Yeah. So you can even just text them and say, hey, I was thinking about you hope all as well. That actually happened to someone I've known since kindergarten. He was, we were just always best friends in elementary school and then obviously I moved several times. So we lost touch and like social media wasn't huge.

But then once I like went back home and then I didn't, I saw him and then I think I was like maybe 15 or 16 and then we lost touch again. So once social media came back, we became friends again and like he, we would always like just like message, just like catch up and then, you know, he had his own life. I had mine. And then I was supposed to go to a concert with him in the summertime, like this past summer, not this past summer, like that we're in, but like the one before that and it like fell through and then he passed away.

Oh, that's sad. So I feel like I'm like needing therapy, not just for that relationship, but like other relationships that are, I mean, you need therapy for that. For a lot of reasons. I've had therapy on this podcast. I know you don't listen to coffee combos regularly, but we've had, like we have a resident therapist. Okay. I don't listen.

It's not because I play the episode so that it gets the download. Thank you. I don't listen. That's loyalty. I don't listen because I can't like I'm too everywhere to listen to anything. I don't listen to music in the car. I don't listen to anything. You listen to music in the car.

No. I don't listen to anything. I'm driving silence. Why? Cause it's like there's so much going on in my head and thinking and processing things that like it's like my time to think. So like I don't listen to anything. So don't feel offended, but I'm not offended.

I play them. So wait. So how do you know the words to any songs? I'm like when I'm in the car with other people, they play music. I don't know like new song like Leo be like, Oh, do you know this song? Like I've never heard this before in my life. For those of you who don't know, Leah, her Leah is her girlfriend. Um, but therapy, um, you definitely need to go to therapy in general.

Yeah, I know. We know, but we've talked, we talk about this all the time and it, and for everyone listening, it is so important. If you go to a therapist and you, they make you feel uncomfortable, you're not at the right therapist. It took me about 10 therapists before I found one that I liked. So don't give up. You know, I've seen several therapists.

It's just like, Oh, the thought of like, I don't know, like, I guess I just still am a little bit uncomfortable with it. Like when we've had Katie Morton on our podcast, like I love talking to her and she gives good insight, but actually speaking of therapy, um, someone messaged me on Instagram last night and kind of told me about myself. And at first I was like, Oh my gosh, like another no at all. But then I read it and I was like, wow, she's really coming from a good place. So I told her, I actually said I wanted to read it on the podcast, um, it's kind of long.

So bear with me. Okay. This is, she said, I could use her name and this is Harris and associates. She's a professional counselor who specializes in treating trauma and a wide range of issues facially faced. I can't even speak. This is Harris and associates. We specialize in treating trauma and a wide range of issues facing struggling families,

couples and adolescents, PTSD, hypnosis, et cetera. So she said, listening to your podcast on therapy and I'm a therapist, I'm thinking that you were quote unquote over Joe after Isaac was born because Isaac fulfilled those needs that you needed to be loved and wanted. And so you essentially sobered up more or less and, and you realized Joe wasn't what you wanted or needed. Another consideration I believe I've observed an avoidant attachment in you, meaning you grew up and learned, you couldn't get your emotional needs met by others and came to

not rely on anyone for that. Both Joe and Javi have insecure anxious attachments. Those type of attachment styles are drawn to those with avoidant attachments because of their independence. So the difference is when someone avoidant feels a threat to themselves or to the relationship, they pull away and shut down or blow up, become unavailable and feel smothered. Anxious, insecure, reach out and cling to their significant other in the same situation. They may also become passive aggressive.

She said wired for love might be a good read for me, which I started and I didn't finish. I already have that one. She said, you don't feel like being vulnerable or crying because you weren't comforted or attended to or nurtured as a kid consistently. So you would probably rather punch someone and shut down before you cry and to cry is risking that someone will abandon you again or fail to see you or validate you. And she said she was the same. Sorry for giving uninvited feedback.

I said, no, this is fine. And then she said more about like my relationship with Chris, but I won't read that right now. How do you feel about that? I think that it's spot on. It's like kind of complicated to me. So like, I don't, I guess I don't get what she was saying. So I'm avoidant. Let me read back.

Yeah. It makes, and this is something that I've constantly said. If I ever have to stick up for you like publicly for something that, which you have, yeah, like people don't understand that like they don't think about how you grew up, right? You make terrible decisions. Thank you, Rebecca. Well, let me first say this. You make really bad decisions, but the only thing that ever has stayed steady is that

you're a phenomenal mother. And that's probably the only reason why we've stayed friends is because like that supersedes anything. And like, I couldn't, I don't think I can be friends with someone who's a bad mom. And that's what I mean. Like you make terrible decisions, but you can tell your, like you being a mother shows your, that you care, that you have that like ability to care with that being said, people forget about the way that you were raised.

They don't know about it. A lot of them don't even think, think about that. And that matters, right? Like someone's up, not that it justifies the way that you, that you act because you can learn to act differently. Right. But I have. Yeah.

Oh, you've definitely grown. But people forget the like the like traumatizing childhood that you had. You didn't grow up with a mom and dad. Like you did, you grew up with addiction. You grew up with her, like constant hurt and disappointment. And that's like, that's hard. I just try not to use that as an excuse because I feel like when I think of myself along with the rest of the cast on the, on the teen mom franchise, like a lot of them have that story.

But then it's not an excuse, but like knowing someone's past is, it makes it different how you have to love someone and like how you have to approach someone and talking about it and figuring that out is the only way that you can like find this path to a fulfilled life. Right. So for you, for everyone that's listening that doesn't know that, that you should read, you have a book. Right over pretty.

I've talked about it before for sure. But anyways, long story short, I got that message relating to therapy. So I wanted to read it. I told her I would read it. And I actually want to get her on the podcast at some point, why don't you see if she's taking on clients and like do Skype sessions with her? Um, yeah, I might do that because she sounds like she's pretty much spot on. Um, so I might talk to her about it, but anyways, I just wanted to read that.

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I, um, my friend got engaged the other day. We're done with therapy. We're going to something else. Yes. Moving on. Okay. How was your drive here? I drive everywhere.

Yeah, I know. How was it? Was it a good drive? Was there traffic? Yeah. Um, I, I like dread going back there. I actually had to take my dog to the vet yesterday in Dover. Um, he was in the kennel while I was in Atlanta last week for the podcast and then right attached

to coming back from Atlanta, I moved literally like got home Thursday and I started moving Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So I was like, well, I'll leave them in the kennel until Monday when I moved in, I'll go pick them up, pick the dogs up from the kennel and bears fine for those of you don't know. I'll bears my Rottweiler. He's like seven and a half. He's a great dog.

Um, and then I had Gizmo who is a French bulldog. He's older. He's about to be seven in October and he immediately, something was weird. He had an allergic reaction or something. He had like these lumps all over his belly. His ear was flopped over and he was just like licking his paws. So he has already allergies and stuff and I have to have him on like the veterinary pro plan food for his allergies or whatever.

So I gave him a Benadryl and I'm thinking, okay, maybe he's just having this allergic reaction. Well, no. So I ended up two days gave him Benadryl. It's not working. So I took him to the vet yesterday. He has a hematoma in his ear. He has two teeth missing and his paws were like lick to death and the allergies caused

the infection that was like these lumps on his belly. So needless to say, the vet obviously gave me the whole rundown on like what to do, gave him medicine, had to drain his ear, do all of this stuff and I'm like, well, crap. Like did the, did this happen from the kennel or was it just a coincidence? So, um, he's on, he had to get us like a shot for his allergies, which seems to help. But it was just like a lot. Anyway, the whole story started from the vet isn't over. That's where I was going.

I was trying to forget where I was going and I have no interest in talking about your dogs. Yeah. People might, anybody hate me for that comment, but I mean, some people just aren't people aren't people people and some people are just not and talk people. So I get it. Anyways, I was attacked by a dog. Oh, you never told me that. That's where other scars come on my face.

So maybe you did tell me that. What kind of dog was it? It's Shetland sheep. It was my fault. What'd you do? I was shoving it underneath the chair. How old were you? Four.

Yikes. Yeah. Did you have to get stitches? Yeah, I got like a bunch here and a bunch. And did they keep the dog? Yeah. It was my dog. Oh, wow.

Okay. And y'all kept it. Because it was your fault. Yeah. Did you ever do it again? No. Well, I'm glad the dogs. Okay.

I'm glad you're okay also. Thank you. But also I'm glad the dog is okay. What did you want? Why are you talking about being engaged? Do you want to get engaged? Oh, no, because I asked Instagram, I mean, yeah, one day I would love to be engaged. I go back and forth with this daily, like one day I want to get engaged and get married

and live a fairy tale. And some days I'm like, fuck that. I like being by myself. The amount of times I've heard you say that you're like asexual, like you just don't love anyone. No, because I had posted something on Instagram for people to ask us questions and I went to go open it and I forgot that, well, I didn't forget, it just popped up on my timeline that they're engagement pictures.

And it was weird because this is one of my really good friends and my sister both got engaged on the same day. Like my sister texted me in the morning, a picture of her ring. And then I was like, oh my God, like congratulations. And then that night at like right before midnight, my friend texted me the video of them getting engaged. And I was like, Oh, wow. And then like I cried.

I love love. Yeah. I mean, I was, it was bittersweet because obviously, well, one, my friend has been with this guy for over three years, so like overdue for sure, not not even overdue. I love them both. So it's no whatever I'm happy for them. And my sister like, I'm like, Oh wow, like her baby dad really loves her. Like I'm so happy.

But like also I'm like, no, nobody loves me, you know, you don't let people love you. But anyway, I'm going to, we're going to move on from that topic boy, I mean, we tried dating and it just didn't work. We never dated. We never even tried dating at all. Like that never happened. So now here come the rumors one, two, three click bait. But other than that, what's catching me up on everything since I've seen you.

I saw you what, like last week, yeah, we've seen each other more in the past two weeks than we have in the past year. I'm actually going to be in Jersey this month in two weeks. I know you should come up the Sunday before. Yeah. Because the VMAs on Monday. Yeah. You should come up the Sunday before.

Okay. Leah's coming too. We're going to go together. Yeah. What is it? What day of the week is it? The movie awards is on Monday or not the movie awards, the 26th. So why don't you come up on the 25th?

Yeah, I can do that after I get the kids to their dads. What else is new? So VMAs is coming up. I feel like there was another reason I was going to be in New Jersey and I want to say it was like October. No, that's New York for the reunion. Yeah. I put that in my calendar.

Oh, you did? Okay. Yeah. I'm really excited about that. I was like, I only want to see Leah. I don't want to see anyone else. I want to be in and out and that's it. I don't understand why you don't like soak those things up because like instead of going

into the reunions thinking it's like about the show, like there's people there that like want to see you. Yeah. I know. Last year I went and I specifically like me. I know I was with you. Yeah. No.

Last year you weren't with me. Yeah. The fight. No. That was two years ago. Oh, wow. This year was I went, I was like, I'm not going. I don't want to be a part of the whole situation.

I didn't want to be a part of the drama and then I was like, I'll come, but I want to give everyone who's there for my segment free pot head. Oh, yeah. And I wanted to do a sec. I was willing to do a segment with Leah and just be like in and out because people don't realize that prior to Brianna being added to the cast, our reunions were literally eight to 12 hour days sitting in the studio. The kids were there or even if they weren't, we all had to be there at the exact same time.

Well, then they started staggering them because then we would still have to do the scene together, but it still was like we had to be camera ready for 12 hours and it was just so long. It was so, it was just not a great day. And I just feel like it's better any, we don't all need to sit together. I don't even know why they call it a reunion when we don't film together. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not like we're getting back together. Yeah.

So it's weird. Last year I only did the scene with Leah and I loved it and I did my scene by myself and I think even maybe I did one with Barb, but it was like in and out. I didn't have to spend them. I think I spent one night and it was just like super, just, I don't know. I'm excited to come to the reunion this year. All right, guys, imagine how many things that you could do in the time it takes to go to the grocery store.

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Should we talk about our friendship? Yeah, for sure, should. Because like people are probably like half the people are probably like who the F is this girl? Yeah, some people, but like people who are honestly like loyal to us, they know who you are. Yeah, like definitely. I am.

Becky Hader. H-A-Y-T-E-R-25 on all social media and yeah, go ahead and start talking about our friendship. Me and Kale met, it'll be eight years in like December. And the only reason I know that is because I had just graduated college. And the only reason why I know that is because you came to Javi's basic training, going away party. And I had no clue who you guys were because I like, I don't watch TV really. And so the person I was dating at the time was like, oh, do you want to come?

I was like, I'd come to someone's going away. And I was like, yeah. And then like I showed up in there and like there were cameras everywhere. I was like, what the fuck is going on? What was this? Becky is down to go to any party. It doesn't matter if she knows you or not. Like we've even contemplated just showing up to weddings and crashing them.

I still think we should do that once I get, once I get like full time, like on my grind of like my personal stuff. Oh, we're for sure just going to start crashing weddings. Like people send us invites and it's like, we might come. We might not. I got like five invites last week. You did? Yeah.

See, I just don't like that's a thing that we did together. So like you can't go crash weddings without me. Yeah, I haven't gone yet, but there's going to be one that comes in and all of them are really far right now. And I just can't do that. But one day will be real. We'll be able to do that. Yeah.

We're going to like show up to the wedding. Yeah. And we're going to do it. So me personally, a good way to explain like my personality, if you take a room full of people that I don't know and throw me in the middle of it, like that is like the perfect scenario that I could think of me being in anyways, so our friendship. So we met, we met, we became friends and then I've just actually, let me just add to that. I actually stopped being friends with your ex who we were, who you entered like I met

you through. Yeah. And Becky was the reason I became friends with her again. So it was like, if it wasn't for Becky, but it's just weird because like I met you through your ex, like you would think I would still be friends with the ex and not you, but she is best friends with Javi now. Oh, how life works is so funny. Well, well, like, let's just skip over the eight years.

And here we are. Well, okay. Well, we have to add in the part where you did marriage boot camp with me. I did marriage boot camp with you. That was interesting. That was the most intense moment of my entire life. I was shaking. I was like, oh, God, that was, yeah, because you knew I was there, but Javi didn't know

I was there. But I wasn't supposed to know. No. I just happened to find out. Well, you knew because they called me and they were like, please don't tell her we're contacting you. And I was like, I am not going to fly my ass out there without telling her and making sure it was okay with you that you wanted me there because if you were like, no, like

I don't want that, I wouldn't have come. You also did another show with me. You also did Game of Clones with me. Game of Clones. Literally, they call you for every fucking show. That Game of Clones was a lot of fun. Not for me. It was so much fun for me.

I hated it. That's because you're awkward. Well, I also just wasn't actually interested in any of the men at all. Remember when they, remember a long time ago when your producers asked if I wanted to do Bad Girls Club? No. Yeah. You don't remember that?

You called me and were like, they want to know if you'd be interested in Bad Girls Club. I don't ever remember that. I believe you, but I don't recall. And I was like, I said no because that's not a brand of that. I know what you're talking about. Yes, I remember. And now I remember.

No, that's not something that you want to be a part of. That's so funny. We should do more shows together. We've really done, well, you've been on Team Mom. We've done Game of Clones. We did. I'm just basically a professional actress now. Marriage boot camp.

That wasn't acting. That was real life for you. Maybe I'm the actress. They're not. A horrible one. I've been to the reunions with you. Oh, wow. Yeah.

They should just give us our own segment on the reunion. You should ask them. You should talk to her because she loves us together and she would support that. You should ask her because that'd be really funny. You could even like do something like fun, if not with the two of us, with me asking you and Leah like dating questions. I think MTV would lose their shit if me and Leah actually dated. I texted her yesterday because she has a crystal obsession like I do.

And I texted her and I was like, we might as well just get married. And she was like, yeah. And she said, doesn't everyone want to marry their best friend? And I was like, okay. I mean, could you imagine? I think the teen mom world would shit themselves. It would just end so badly. Right.

I would never. Like Leah is seriously one of like. You destroy anything you get into. And she's one of my best friends. So she really, we become so close. I would never like want to ruin that. She's never like dated a girl or anything. Right.

I don't know. We should get her on the podcast and talk about it. Like you convince her she's going to listen to this and be like, Cal, Cal. All right, guys, let's get real. Body hair is a reality. And for all the hairs you're not so fond of, there's flamingo to help you out. Flamingo makes body care starting with hair. A collective of women's at Harry's a men's shaving brand saw an opportunity to create

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slash coffee. That's right. Just visit shopflamingo.com slash coffee. Let me say this. Becky can convince anyone. Oh, actually we shouldn't even say that because that's probably illegal at this point. I think it's because I'm James Charles saying I'm pretty, it's frowned of brown. But if I didn't say all this stuff, I wouldn't be in a relationship right now.

So. What? Well, she was straight. Yeah, your Leah, Becky's Leah was straight. Yes. She's still a straight. Yeah, I think so. But she loves you.

She does love me. And I know that everyone always asks like why it's so easy for like, I can have a like conversation with a girl that's straight and they like, my DMs are flooded with straight girls being like, I'm, why do you make me so confused literally every single straight friend that I have is like every time I'm around Becky, I question my sexuality and I'm like, what? So it's like, it's pretty, it's just simple. It's really just about what is the word chemistry?

I don't know. Connection. So at least for females, I'm talking about females. I don't know anything about the male world or mindset or anything. You have a straight girls that are best friends. And so girls fall in love with each other all the time. Right. As friends, you know, you get jealous of your best friend, like if they hang out with someone

else, you get in arguments with them, you like have these emotions with each other. That is what love is all the time. So the only thing that's missing is that physical aspect. So you take a person like me who people know hooks up with girls and you have that connection of friendship or that connection of, you know, oh, like this person's really interesting. And they know that I hook up with girls and then it confuses them. They're like, wait, why do I like her? Like, do I like her, like her?

Do I like her? You know what I mean? So it's right. Okay. Wow. That makes sense. Yeah. So like throwing me into a mix of things just confuses everyone so much.

And I don't help. My personality doesn't help. No, she works with everybody. The things I say don't help the way I act doesn't help, but that's just who you are. So do you, like, do you remember how confused I made Taylor the first time I met her? I love Taylor. Yeah. I do too.

Oh yeah. That was so much fun. You've definitely done that several times, but. To a lot of people. Yeah. I got to get Leah more. You're Leah. I feel like I'd be able to confuse her.

I got to work on her the next time we hang out. Well, we'll all be together for the reunion. Yeah, that'll be fun. That'll be a good time. Leah's a really good time. Actually, Becky and Leah have a lot in common. They both love Crown Apple. Yes.

So if you're listening and you decide that you want to like send me a gift. A gift. Yeah. Of Crown Apple. Yeah. Semi Crown Apple. Goodbye. So it what's awesome about our friendship and like everything that we've been through

together, it's been really cool to watch you grow. I mean, I've grown so much over the past eight years as well. But it's really cool to see the growth in like your kids and like you as a person and the things that you're doing and like the platforms that you've created and, you know, not just living on the coattail of teen mom, you know, right. And so like with that, if you guys don't follow me at all, like with the platform that has come from KL and teen mom, I use my platform for like such like positive energy. Yeah.

And I'm really like my life is very transparent. So I'm very open about therapy and issues and, you know, just talking about the raw, raw things in life, which is important to me because helping people like is what drives me to happiness like to my core. So helping other people. So this whole thing has come in like a full circle almost, right? Like it feels like we've finally reached like a point together where we're both growing and we have like almost like a future to grow together to, which is awesome.

So are we in love or I thought we were for those of you guys listening that don't know Becky has a YouTube channel that she started, I guess about six months ago in March, yeah, called for the haters. So you guys should definitely check that out. We're moving to a podcast platform instead of YouTube, but you should definitely check it out. It's awesome. It's also called for the haters.

And Becky's last name is real. Yeah. It's Hater. Like Becky Hater, like don't be a hater. That's so wild. And then her friend in college was her last name was Holler. Yeah. Everyone knows this is Holler.

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I love FabFitFun because they do obviously have the full size. Sometimes my favorite brands are already in there and sometimes there's brands that I haven't tried yet. So it's super nice to kind of try the new products, try the new brands, and they're all full size. It's super cheap for the entire box. Agreed. FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box with full size beauty, fitness, fashion and lifestyle

products. As Kale just said, it retails for $49.99 but always has a value of over $200. Use coupon code COMBO for $10 off your first box at www.fabfitfun.com. Once again, use coupon code COMBO for $10 off your first box at www.fabfitfun.com. Yeah, we're moving over to podcast. Production for YouTube is really, it's a lot, right now it's a lot. But the stories, so our platform just shares people's stories in hopes that by someone sharing their story, it'll make other people realize they're on a loan and things that

they're going through. Actually, a couple of people that you guys have seen on Teen Mom 2 have been on it. Yeah. Or just one. Well, Mark's been on it. Morgan's been on it. Morgan who? Morgan Hanberry.

Yeah, Hanberry. Yeah, yeah. She's, Carolus Morgan is also a friend of ours. She went viral for this funny fucking makeup tutorial and so then she went on for the haters and she came to my launch party for Pothead 2. I love her. Yeah, she's awesome. You should get Landon Muromano on it.

Yeah, we have, I mean, the thing that's awesome about it is like, it has seriously given me a purpose. And so something, and this is actually, I don't know if I've actually talked to you about this and I'm sure that you didn't watch the video, but one of the episodes is it talks about good being the biggest defeater of great, right? Everyone settles for good and people can be content with good, but everyone has this greatness about them that most people don't reach because they settle for this good content life.

See, let me stop you right there. I hate the word content. I think that people think that content means happy, but like for me, I don't want to be content content to me means stagnant. So to other people, maybe it means something different, but for me, I feel like when you say content, it's like, I don't look at it as a positive, I don't think it's a positive word at all because that's what the type of people we are. Some people like content, right?

They're happy with content. Like I'm not okay. I'm always looking for what is the next thing I'm going to do? What is the next project I'm going to work on? How am I going to pay my next bill in a different, like I don't think of it as a good word. And so in the episode we talk about everyone in this world has a purpose, right? Everyone has a purpose. And if you're lucky enough to find that purpose in life, you do everything you can to find

it, to fulfill it. And so when you find your purpose, and I truly believe that the whole thing I'm doing with where the haters was my purpose, right? Like that's that the idea of helping people is what I'm here to do, like share stories and help people. And so, um, sorry, Becky is so animated when she's talking. And so when you find it, it makes life easier because it makes it easier to say yes or no to things.

And sometimes no is your best yes, right? So like, if you say, if someone asks you to do something and it isn't in line with what you want to do, you say no. So working towards finding a purpose and having all these like aspects of life that go towards that is what everything's about. It's funny that you bring that up because I, when we were just in Hawaii last month, I was there with Leah and I did an episode of her podcast. We talked about that, like being able to say no and I want to go off too much on a tangent,

but I have a really hard time saying no. And like, I'll go through periods of time where I'm like, okay, I have, this is what I want to do. And this doesn't align with it. So I'll occasionally say no, and it's so hard for me, but then I go right back to like saying yes all the time. Like I don't like telling people no, I don't want to be the reason why someone's upset or is takes doesn't, it is harder for them to do something or you know what I mean?

Even if that means I have to bend over backwards for them to do it, like I don't like to tell people no. You're about it. Telling people know that you care about. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. I mean, just anything from like money to like watching their kids to just doing like having

people over like I like to go to bed super early, but if my friends want to come over and they want to stay until 11, 12 o'clock at night, I'm like, how do I tell them to leave or how do I tell them I'm going to go to bed or like there's just like so many things. Okay. Like somebody called me the other day and was like, can I, I want to get this done, but it costs X amount of dollars, but I was wondering, can I just pay, can you pay for it and I'll pay you for it? Like I'll pay you monthly.

Yeah. And I was like saying no in my head like fuck no in my head, but I was like, yeah, just let me know like how much it costs. And it's just like fuck no, like no. Yeah. I mean, I, I have a really hard time asking people for money. I mean, it doesn't have to be money. I'm just saying like anything.

Yeah. And throughout the time that I've known you, I mean, you get used a lot by people. So that has a full effect on it too. That's why you have such a negative, sometimes people sincerely need help and like that's fine that you are able to help them, but you've been used and abused so many times that like everything has a negative aspect to it. Yeah. And even if I came to you and asked you for money, which I wouldn't probably never do.

I would become a prostitute before I asked somebody for money, I think. Yeah. But like you would feel like I was using you, but like, no, not you initially that's the feeling that you would get like you probably wouldn't then like if you actually thought about it and who it came from and who the person was, then you'd be like, well, she's definitely not using you. But the thought of being used is because that's what happened. Like you've been used, you've been used by everyone.

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She was from Ireland and she asked me for 19,000 euros. That's a lot of money. She said that she's really struggling and her significant other is abusive and she can't support her, you know, basically her life without him and she asked me if I could, she said this is a long shot, but could you send me 19,000 and I looked it up and just to see what it was in American dollars. For her like 24,000. She asked me, I think I have the message, hold on, I'll read it.

I was just like, y'all really have the audacity because yes, I understand that other people struggle and I do try to help any way that I can, but I also, I feel like I give back in so many other ways and I don't have to necessarily like scream it from the mountain tops that I'm helping people. I just do it. I was 18,000 euros. This is a long shot. I'm 30 years old from Northern Ireland.

I have three children and I can barely support them. Their father walked out and left me over a year ago and I've really struggled with self-worth. He took my house. I had to be helped in a shelter, car is about to be repossessed if I don't pay 18,000 euros. I know I'm rude for asking, but I have no one to turn to and I feel like my life is over. Could you please consider from the bottom of your heart to help me. I'm begging you with everything, which isn't much, but anyway, my credit is terrible because

my abusive ex destroyed it when he left. This is my last chance to keep my car. That 18,000 euros ends up being a little over 19,000 US dollars. I don't have that. There's cars that are cheaper than that to begin with. You can buy a car for a couple grand. Sell that car, maybe, and then get... It's just really unfortunate because I get messages like that too.

You do? Yeah. People ask me for money all the time. People from... That's my son. People that know me from Team Mom, they ask me for money. If they send me a GoFundMe, sometimes I'll give 20 bucks here and there. Right. Same.

I literally paid for somebody's funeral on GoFundMe. It's so awkward when people ask for that much money. The situation is so fucking unfortunate. It really is. I obviously don't wish for anyone to struggle like that, but I also... I have three kids also. I have... Like I said, I help where I can. You know what I mean?

I donate to GoFundMe, sometimes I've posted for those teacher wishlist things. Even if they don't make a whole lot or get gifts or anything, I try to help where I can and I just feel like... There's only so much someone can do. It's always a lot of money. I get requests on Venmo and Cash Out for five grand. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm like, no. Then you have to wonder, are your sob stories even true?

Mm-hmm. That's just a tough... It's a tough... I mean, I always feel too... It makes... Because I care and I have so much empathy for people and I always feel so guilty for not, but what am I going to do? Go broke? Trying to fix every single person? Yeah. Right.

I mean... Anywho, moving on from the money topic, I posted on Instagram, like I said a little bit earlier in the podcast, for people to send us messages. So, these are some of the responses that we've got. Should I be nervous? Maybe. Someone said, are you guys dating? Uh, questionable. How did you guys meet?

Well, I think we covered that one. We met through Becky's ex, who actually... She actually lied about how she became my friend, but that's another story. What is the hardest part of being besties with someone on TV? I think the hardest part was probably the transition in the beginning. Social media can be such a cruel, cruel place. And so, when I first became friends with you, it really hurt me to see things that people said online, like really bad.

How did you feel about how things happened in real life versus how they come across on TV? What? That's a completely different thing. Let me finish my thought before I get there. And so, learning how to not let other people's comments affect me as much, like even if they were towards you, not respond to people... I don't care what people say anymore online. I just don't focus on that.

I think that was the biggest transition, because TV... That doesn't make you different, right? I know a different side of you in person. I don't know. What was the second thing? All the difference between TV and... Well, I think you said that that's completely different, but I was just saying that because you would... Not just you, but I've had other friends react to the things that people say, but again, it's like they only see what comes across on TV.

They don't see what's happening in real time. And so, that's a huge thing is that... I stick out for you when I need to, and I've said it to people before too online, people are seeing an edited version of you. So, MTV is portraying you as MTV wants to portray you. So, they're taking these filmed clips and editing them together and removing parts... Huge parts of it. ... like chunks of it. Like the other day we were filming, and someone asked you why V wasn't at, or Joe and V wasn't

at the birthday party, or did they go, and you just... And you said no, and then you explained why after, like you were like, they had family, like something in a nice way, and you were like, they're probably just gonna put on TV, you saying no, looking mad. And that's it. But I said no. I saw on Instagram, like V had her family over and stuff. And I explained that, but on TV, they're gonna edit it as like, nope, I didn't invite her. I didn't invite her because I saw she had family over, so it wasn't anything against

her at all. But that's a pretty good example of it. No question, just wanted to say I love Becky and can't wait for the podcast with her. Would she feel like her life would be the same without you? If you were never in my life, or if you left my life now? Would she feel like her life would be the same without you? My life would definitely not be the same if I never met you because I wouldn't have the opportunities that I have now, which I'm very thankful for.

If you left me now, it would go on. My life would, I lose friends a lot, and it's such a sad thing, and it's real, and I struggle with it a lot. Losing you would hurt. I was really upset when we got in that one fight. I was like hysterically crying. Yeah, I was screaming at you and crying also. I don't think that it's possible for us to not be friends.

We don't see each other enough. I mean, Becky has truly been my friend through getting married, getting divorced, cheating, being cheated on, not good relationships, casual relationships. She's been there through all, and I feel like I've been there for your bullshit relationships and your good relationships. I think we're just stuck with each other. Someone said, does Kayle ever actually take your advice? No.

That's why we're going to be like, one time. No. I don't think you ever take my advice. I like to listen to it, though. How do you keep your friendship going when you may not see each other all the time? I mean, we stay in contact. Sometimes we have dry, what is it called? Dry spells.

Dry spells. But it's always so much fun. Well, we went through a weird phase of it not as fun being around you, just because I was going through a shitty time. You're going through shit, and your entire aura was just off. That's terrible. It sucks. It was so bad.

But recently, everything's been back to how it was before, and it's been awesome. Someone said, how do you give and accept criticism and real truths without hurting your friendship? I think this is important in a lot of relationships. You have to learn about the person. Every single person is showed some people. If I'm bitching and complaining about something, I just want you to listen. I don't want you to come back with some in-depth feedback, because I know what I need to do, and I just need someone to just talk to me.

But some people need feedback. Some people need to be talked to like their child. Some people need things broken down for them. It's so important to care to learn about the person that you're talking to, and learn how to approach this situation. The same person said, P.S., I think you both are gorgeous and hilarious, and I love you both. I love you, girl, serendipity as gravity.

Literally so many people are asking if we're a couple, and how did we meet? But I think we covered all of that. What does Becky think of Kale's evolution over the years? Describe the many stages. The evolutions. I mean, being in your life for so long, it's so amazing to see you grow. We talked about it. Yeah.

When we first met. Yeah. And like being a parent, like you're a phenomenal mother, which I always say, but watching the evolution of your relationships is probably the most frustrating thing about our friendship, I think. Could you just make terrible decisions? Yeah. Like awful.

Like the worst. I'll get it together one day. Someone said, what's one annoying thing the other person does that drives you crazy? Ooh. I thought that was a good one. You go first. Something that you do that drives me nuts? Yeah.

Tell you that you're not a good friend sometimes. No. That doesn't drive me crazy. I'm thinking of like annoying thing that you do. I can't think of anything that you do that drives me nuts, but I feel like there definitely has been a thing. Let me think about it. Is marriage in the question?

Yes. I'm going to marry Mary next week. That'd be a hell of a wedding. Are you better as friends or as partners? How would we know if we never dated? Like we're better friends, period. That's so sorry. You're not answering this, but I'm going to read it.

What do you really think of Kale's baby daddies? Another person asked, why won't she be with you? I don't want things I can have. You can't have me. Were you guys ever in a relationship? No. Someone asked, how does Becky feel about her ex getting married? I'm good luck, Chuck.

You literally both relationships that I know of that you, they literally got engaged after you. Yeah. I'm good luck, Chuck. I'm good luck, Chuck, and you're welcome. How is Becky doing with everything with her friend and his crazy girlfriend? Hope you're okay. What a shitty situation.

What my therapist told me, and I was okay. I got like two or three really long messages from, I got a hundred DMs from that post. Did you read it? No. It helped me a lot. So I talked to my therapist about my situation with Eric, right? Okay. For those of you who don't know who Eric is, Eric is a best friend of Becky who has gone

on like their family vacations and just like been around. And then Christmas, Thanksgiving. Like basically he's family. Yeah. I've been friends with him for over 15 plus years. And he has a crazy girlfriend. Yeah. Who won't let him talk to me.

And I care, have a lot of care about the people in my life. And so the situation really hurt me. And so my therapist told me, she gave, look at me when I'm talking to you. I was reading. Okay. Listen to this. Okay. Look at me when I'm talking to you, she was, she explained the situation.

And for me, this helped me and it might not help other people, but it helped me cope with this situation. She explained it to me as to think about a couple that got divorced. There's like a man and a woman, they got divorced and they have a child. When the man and the woman get divorced and the mother has the child, she's and say she makes it hard for the father to see the father can't handle that situation. Of seeing his child every so often, not knowing the arguments that, so he completely removes himself from the situation.

It doesn't mean he doesn't care about that child or love that child. He just cannot handle the situation of having anything other than that full relationship. So in the sense with Eric, it doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me or, but he can't handle the situation of having half of something of the struggle of that situation. And that's not the case for all people like hearing it from an outside perspective. And maybe I'm wrong. I don't think that that's his struggle right now. I don't think that's what it is.

I think in certain and maybe in other situations, but what you're going through with him, that's not it. It might not be it, but I'll tell you what, that helped me be able to just think that that's it. But like, but a couple of people sent me really rude messages about like, fuck your therapist like all this shit. I hate cursing. Sorry.

I curse in real life. But you can curse on your and it was just like really rude. But so many people were like, wow, like thank you. Anytime I post vulnerable stuff, like I get so many messages because people relate to the struggle. People realize like, you don't have to be perfect all the time because we're not actually perfect. And I think that I talked about it before on my podcast. Like when I wrote Pride over pity, that shit was painful.

People related to that book more than they ever related to hustle and heart because hustle and heart was like the rainbow at the end of all the bullshit. But yeah, I'm actually surprised at someone that I asked that question to be honest. Someone asked, what is the craziest experience we have together? I mean, walking down the street of New York. Tell that story. So me and Kayla are completely different people. I love going to clubs.

I love going to bars. I love drinking. Kale does not drink. It's a struggle to get her to drink when I want her to like once every six months. Yeah. And so I convinced Kale to go to the club with me in New York City and we went to towel. Right. Yeah.

And we went to towel and we had a like a fantastic night. We were dancing, drinking, having fun. And then I have two stories. Okay. Good. And we left and we were walking down the street and all of a sudden I hear Kale yell, is that dude naked? No, I asked him.

I said, are you naked? He said, are you naked? I'm like, what the hell is she talking about? This dude was sitting in the middle of the street in a parked car with the doors open naked. And he was getting up out of the driver's seat, standing up, asking it, so you want to see more? He said, you can take a picture.

Just don't post it. So we took a picture and we sent it to all our friends. But I was like, were you fucking in the car and you got caught? Did you get caught in the house and how to run out? Like were you just on drugs? Like, can't be sure. Yeah. And it was weird because it actually looked like somebody.

Yeah, it did. It looked like my baby dad and we were like, oh my God, is that, and I knew it wasn't, but like he, they had resemblance and I was like, oh my God, that's so crazy. That was, that was an experience. And then why, why was his dick down to his knees? I don't know. It was huge. I wish we could post it, but he specifically said not to post it.

I get dick pics so often on Snapchat. It's why I don't know. And like I screenshot them and like threatened to post it and then I never do and I just should. It's so annoying. Like don't send me dick pics. Like unsolicited at that. Yeah.

And like to me, and I always rate them, I always go give them like a two out of 10, like you can do better. That's what my response is. Seriously? Yeah. Or I say like, or I say, what's your mother's number? I would like to tell her how terrible of a kid she raised. That's so clever.

What's the second story? I don't know how to judge that best. It was another time we were in New York City. What were we there? We were there for your book signing. It was with all the, it was with Macy, Caitlin, and Amber. And we went out after. And then I convinced you to go to the strip club with me.

I love strip clubs. Yeah, you did. And we walked in. And we walked in. Well, first of all, Becky got us to not have to pay the cover. Yeah. We were out of it for sure. And then we walked in, sat down, and like we looked around and we're like, we don't

not belong here. It just wasn't the right vibe strip club for us. I wish we could tell the book, the book tour story with Amber. She's so funny. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. That was a great time. We have a couple more minutes. So I'm going to just read, oh, let's do, I'm going to ask you a couple like last.

Hold on. Let me look it up really quick. This is a game that Lindsay and I have played on the podcast before. I don't remember what all the questions were, so we're going to make them up. What was the last text you sent? Oh, she's really going to go look. It's not a good one. It just says I think around too.

So that's not, that's boring. What was the last picture you sent? The last picture I sent was the picture that I sent to you. This one, I texted Becky and I asked her to send me a picture of us so I could post it on Instagram and ask you guys for questions. And she sent a picture of us kissing. Oh, wow. It's a good one.

Okay. What was the last meal you ate? I ate a cheesesteak without a bun this morning that I ordered last night and passed out. So it is a cheesesteak if it doesn't have a bun? There's cheese and steak. Dumbass. Okay. I'm trying to think like what other questions were a part of the last game.

I forget. Could you not Google it and find it? I tried. I was like the last game and then it was like the last game of thrones, the last football game. The last game. What was the last text you received? I did.

I sent that. That's what I put. And it came up. What was the last text you sent? What was your most recent text to someone? When did texting get boring? Did you ever text your number neighbor? Did you do that?

Did it work out? No. Okay. So I don't know if I talked about this on the podcast, but I texted, I went to go text my number neighbor and it was an Android. So then I switched which number I changed and it was still an Android. So then I texted two more numbers of the last, like I did it so that it was still a number neighbor and they were both iPhones and neither one responded.

So I was like, either you're old or you just don't have a life. So I was really looking. Yeah. I was so disappointed. Like maybe they would Google my number and it would come up and they'd be like, Oh, cool. I'll talk to her. And then it, it didn't happen. And also my number neighbors never texted me.

So I was kind of disappointed in that, but that's, you know, it is what it is. Do you want to ask me what my last text was? No. What is your last text? Honestly, I just sent a picture to my group text of me and your podcasting from the bed. Who's in your group chat? Bone, Quay and Sterling. Cool.

What did they say? They didn't answer. Yeah. They don't care about me. So I want to make it known to the public that I want to make it known to the public that the whole time that you and bone weren't friends, I was constantly telling you that you guys were going to be friends again. Okay.

Just want to make that clear. My friend Rachel got us to be friends again. I'm glad that it happened. I missed her, but I was Switzerland for a while. But Becky is the one, no, let me not say the one person. The one interesting thing I would say about Becky and our friendship is that I feel like no matter how much she doesn't agree with something I do or somebody that's in my life, she will do what she has to do to still just support me, even if she doesn't like a person

or a situation or something I did, she'll still come around and support me the best that she can. I don't feel like any time that I've had a falling out with somebody, I don't feel like you've ever unfollowed them and made it super difficult or uncomfortable because then when we do become friends again or a person and I got back together, then it's uncomfortable. You'd have to refollow them or explain yourself and it just adds shit to the fucking list that we don't need. And I feel like a lot of my friends in life, not just specific people, but a lot of people

have a hard time separating themselves from like, you're not fucking me financing me or feeding me. Right. So like certain decisions, it's like, you're just going to support me through the shitty decision. And I think that a lot of people struggle with that. I remember when Javi and I got divorced and a specific person was like going out of her way to make it worse.

Yes, and I couldn't understand it because I'm not fucking her. I'm not feeding her. I'm not financing her and vice versa. So like you putting yourself in the middle of it for no reason and running back and filling in the blanks or like truly making things up. Like I just, whether I fucked up or not, it's not your place to go make shit up or tell somebody something, you know, and I feel like you always give me constructive criticism and you don't disown me for my choices, my poor choice.

This owns you for your poor choices. I'd probably not be friends with you a weekend to being friends with you. I'm not that bad. I surely have made good decisions. Yeah, you make good decisions for certain in certain lanes of your life. All your terrible decisions are based on relationships, but that comes from a lot of other issues that you never dealt with. I feel like I've never had a healthy relationship.

You haven't, but you wouldn't be able to because you're part of the issue. Correct. Anyway, I think that was a lot of bullshit on this episode of coffee combos, but I was so happy to have you. I'm excited to do this and hopefully come on again with Lindsay so that she can see our dynamic together. I would love for her to question herself what she means. I got this.

She would kill me. Go get her, take my leash off. We don't deserve this podcast. Anyways guys, thank you for listening to another episode and we will be back next week. Lindsay will be back and we'll be back to the regular old bullshit. If you have not followed us on Instagram, our podcast is at coffee combos podcast and you can leave us a written review. I'm going to not even try to do what Lindsay says.

That's what I'm trying to do right now. She says this at the end of every podcast. Do you need help? I'll never do this again without Lindsay. Anyway, get on there, like comment, review, tell us what you think. Yeah. I'm going to leave that stuff, I'm going to leave this to Lindsay because this is what she's good at.

So that didn't sound bitchy, right? No. Okay. I was like complimenting her because I don't know how to say all this. Anyway, we'll see you next time. Bye guys. This podcast is brought to you by Weave Podcast Network. Check out all of our shows, including the Brain Candy Podcast.

I don't get it, coffee combos and let's talk about it.