Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Having Kids Changes Everything

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Super assistant Kristen joins Kail this episode to do some real talk on the pressure and anxiety of having/wanting kids. Does Kristen go through Kail's phone? Will my kids grow up to suck? Kail's advice to coulpes without kids, and Kail's kids make a hilarious appearance! Thanks to our sponsors! Boll & Branch: Visit bollandbranch.com and get 15% off your first set of sheets when you use promo code COFFEECONVOS Kiwico: Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code COFFEE at kiwico.com  Green Chef: Visit GreenChef.com/convos130 and use code convos130 to get $130 off plus free shipping Stamps.com: Visit Stamps.com and use promo code COFFEE for a special offer that includes a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale! Native: Go to NativeDeo.com/convos ,or use promo code convos at checkout to get 20% off your first order Stitch Fix: Fill out your free style quiz at StitchFix.com/convos 

I hate gift giving and receiving receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you? This is coffee convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you a spirited discussion about motherhood friendship Family and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here Here's Kale and Lindsay It's coffee convos on a Monday Kale, you are in rare form today. I'm not happy today. I'm just in a weird mood What's going on? Just life?

Yeah, that's what we'll go with for now We'll go with that for now. I'll elaborate in the next few weeks, but Nothing major and I'm this is not like a depressive type of situation It's just like my mood today Started off real well, and then you know when just things start just you start doing some stuff and like putting clues together And you're like hold on. This is not the math ain't math in Yeah, you know what I mean? 2 plus 2 is not equal in 4 at all. So it's just one of those days also

I had to take my dog to the vet. He's not doing well and Just I'm sad for him because he's such a good dog and he's like one of my favorite dogs and I don't know He's gonna be okay. He's gonna be fine. I got to drop him off tomorrow. He's gonna get sedated and have some procedures done But um, that's it. How are you Kristen? I'm glad you're here I'm doing good, you know, just happy to be here and we have Podcasted what we talked more in the last two weeks, and I think we ever have because of podcasting together Yeah, I mean I would agree. I think we add an extra hour and a half

This will be the second time onto the day because you know We have those times where we like just text throughout the day And then we have the times where we're on the phone for the entirety of our work day And it's like we might as well share an office at that point because We're just doing it all Yeah, doing it all so the last time we caught up on a podcast was on barely famous last week and We've got we just kept talking the episode ended up being over an hour and a half and That's how you know, we're real friends because we can't shut the fuck up

Literally Cory hates it. He's like, are you guys ever gonna stop talking? No, no, I don't think I don't know what that's possible No, I call you for every minor inconvenience and you do the same Okay So my friend texted me a topic to talk about like weeks and weeks and weeks ago And I forgot to bring it up on any of my podcasts. I could just slip my mind So I want to bring it up here with you because I feel like this is something that you and I would absolutely talk about and I feel like we have talked about it He said

Do you think people go through their loved ones phones when they die? Oh? Oh, and I just want to I just want to say before you answer that I Need you to Soak my phone. Yeah, we already know you water you die You need to you need to soak my phone in water Smash it with a hammer and then light it on fire. There will be no Way that my phone could be tracked down and traced to go through not that I have anything like my old phones 100% there's dirt on there my phone that I have currently right now

Nothing to hide but that being said you never know which ones which so smash them all burn them all light them on fire Literally all your old ho phones would be terrifying Terrifying so funny to me because I people have asked me before like that I'm not actually friends with just know that I work with you and like have you ever gone through her phone And it's like I literally don't want to know what's in there like I already know but I don't want to actually know what's in there No, I'm now negative. I'm good now. There's yeah now. You wouldn't find anything now If you asked me this a year ago, you would probably be mortified. Oh, yes 1,000 also traumatized. Yeah, I mean I've I've seen things coming off that phone

Did you imagine I'm sure there are people that have assistance that's gone through their stuff like I'm sure of it I Just no, I don't want to know The better no like old kale would that's like I lived to go through phones and computers like I I Would never like if I didn't know it. I'm not gonna like hack into it But I if I was in a relationship with someone. Oh, I'm going through everything. I would never do that now because it's happened to me Now that I now that I know what it feels like I won't do it Cory and I I don't go through Cory's phone like I just have no need

We've literally been married for over five years Like I have no need at this point if somebody wants to come in and try and take that man Go for it, but take all his bullshit with you because good luck Good fucking luck like That was like no return policy No, but literally do not return him if you can't take him do it Don't bring him. He's yours. Don't there is no refunds. There's no Exchanges at all. No, um, that's so funny

So yeah, I would be curious to know if anyone if anyone is listening to this and has gone through a phone Like did you find anything crazy or juicy or absolutely shocking? I just I there has to be yeah I need all the submissions. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled on the DMs So you said that you have topics for us, let's hear them. Yeah, so people said in some the first topic or the first thing that I had asked on the coffee commas page was like what does everybody want us to talk about and somebody submitted I'm scared something that actually blew my mind. Hold on. I'm gonna pull up the exact thing. So I'm not a liar

Okay, well, let me ask this first before I get into that. I'm not a mom. Obviously. You are you've done this several times Do you have children? apparently Do you agree or disagree with the statement that? Like basically nothing changes for a man who has a baby with a woman, but But everything changes for a woman when she has a baby. Do you agree or disagree? I agree I mean, obviously the dad is going to help where he can But I would say that a majority of men

Their lives don't change and I say a majority because obviously we're gonna get people that comment on this and they're like Well, my man da da da da da da da da da. No, this doesn't fucking apply to you. I would say a majority of um of the man A man of the men a majority of the men's lives don't change um, yeah, they know that they're gonna come home to kids, but I would say Most likely they're gonna sleep through the night Most likely, um, they're still gonna go to work every day And then they're most likely gonna come home and the wife is most likely or the partner wife, whatever

Is most likely you're gonna still do the brunt of the work Um, I would say it's very much few and far between for the the man's lives to change for sure I mean, I I joke with Lincoln all the time Uh, hold on. Let me let me bring them in here. Hold on. We're gonna have a Lincoln appearance We're about to have a Lincoln appearance right now because I'm gonna tell you why in a second So, you know how I always say that That looks just co-signing without even knowing what I'm about to say

But I say that I carried you for nine months And I gave birth to you Okay And I breastfed you for a year And what did your dad do? I sit there in basketball shorts. Yes, he did. I can attest I was there And my dad was in there What did you say looks and my dad wasn't there. No and your dad wasn't there not that time

Um, they just sit there in basketball shorts. Yeah, I mean I witnessed it with you multiple different times I've seen other friends Multiple different dads nothing nothing on the dad's ends changed and I've seen it with other friends And I've heard it from other people And I just it's so crazy to me when people are like, oh What like why are women waiting so much longer to have kids these days? Well? I don't know maybe because we're already too fucking busy doing other things and we can't really add it to our plates because we already know that It's going to be 99.9 percent our problem and our responsibility

Like I just I don't understand it I don't get why the burden of like child rearing and like all still comes down to the woman But the thing that pisses me off the most is like so that's you know, that's the responsibility of the woman via society I just switched my sheets last night and bowland branch uses the best 100 percent organic cotton threads on earth Their sheets aren't just like buttery breathable and impossibly soft to start They just get softer with every single wash forget the thread count bowland branch gives you thread quality Because it doesn't matter how many threads your sheets have if they aren't the best threads possible I love the way they look. I got clean crisp white. They're super soft. They're super comfortable

Um, and they're breathable. I don't feel like I get super hot in them That's another bonus and they use the highest quality threads on earth Like I said, they're beloved by three u.s presidents, which is kind of amazing and they have 10 000 stellar reviews Kale, you actually got me these for my birthday and I absolutely love them You forgot But no I absolutely I absolutely love them. Um, it was honestly the best gift ever and now anytime any of my friends are moving That's what I decided to get them some bowland branch sheets for their beds at home

You can never have too many sheets You'll immediately feel the difference of their iconic signature sheets They're 100 free of toxins meaning no pesticides for maldehyde or other harsh chemicals, which if you've been listening for a while You know, I'm trying to replace all my products with better products that have better ingredients Best of all, bowland branch gives you a 30 night risk-free trial with free shipping and returns on all orders So you guys can get 15 off your first set of sheets when you use promo code coffee combos at bowland branch dot com That's bowland branch. B. O. L. L. A. N. D. Branch dot com promo code coffee combos So I don't know if people know this about you or not, but christin is married and she does not have children yet

Um, do you feel like that's played a role in your decision to have kids right now? Like you work so hard. I mean kory works hard, too But you also work full time and over time. Um, do you feel like that has contributed to you're not wanting to have kids 1000 percent and like obviously like we want kids right and like it's funny because it's kory and I've had the conversations of You know like kory wanted kids seven years ago yesterday. Yeah Yeah, and I was like I was okay and I was open with that in my early 20s because I had like the rose colored glasses on and Like it all sounded like you just think it's part of that picture You you you feel like it's that

Part of the the picture of getting married and having a family I think so many people just think that's part of it and it doesn't necessarily have to be for everybody or on the same timeline Well, and just like then life takes over like, okay, so we lived in an apartment together Obviously bills in an apartment or a hell of a lot less than living in a house and just like the cost of living and things like that Like just it never decreases. It never goes down So it all sounded like a good idea, right? We have one bedroom apartment. It's cute little situation Whatever and then you realize as you get older like, okay, no We have actual bills and we have things we need to say for and we have things that we want to do

That don't necessarily align with having kids but also So I feel like more and more Especially because Cory works night shift. Obviously, you know that Just like knowing that I still work like 17 jobs Cory sleeps during the day and he goes to work at night and that schedule would not change even if we had a child So just knowing that and then like knowing I would have no support even at night time Is terrifying and it's like I am not mentally in a place where I can add on one more thing and that sounds terrible, right? Like when you think about it sounds terrible people are gonna think I'm so

I don't think it sounds terrible I don't think that sounds terrible at all and knowing how fucking exhausting it is Because essentially when your husband is on night shift and you're busting your ass during the day You're essentially acting as a single parent and I know how fucking exhausting it is It's not even and I don't want this to come off as like I'm saying It's not hard because it is hard, but I think in my personal experience It's more tiring and exhausting than anything than it is hard and so when you're

On edge because you didn't sleep all night and you didn't have help and you didn't have relief in the night and then Maybe you don't agree with crying it out and you know, I have to say that, you know, I when I knew better I did better. I didn't I didn't do cry it out for Um, Lincoln Luxor Creed. That's not something that we did in my house. So, um When you put all of these things together, I think that's knowing yourself and knowing your boundaries and knowing your limits And I think, you know, it's so hard to think about having kids and adding that on obviously you want the reward You want the family you want all of that but knowing you know

Well, I'm just like willing to wait. I'm willing to like put in the I'm willing to put in the time now that it takes to like, you know Stack up my savings account and Do the things that we want to do now before we have kids. I don't feel this like pressure that people for some reason Like feel I'm talking like the minute Cory and I got married I think the first time I was asked about kids was two days after Cory and I got married And they were like, oh, well, you're married now. So you guys gonna start having kids two days two

Freaking days afterwards and I Cory and I got married on my 23rd birthday. I was 23 years old And I just literally was like first of all, it's none of your business Like why are you asking that to me? It's like, I don't go around asking about anybody's sex life But when you're asking, oh, when you guys gonna have babies like, oh, do you want me to like tell you our Sex schedule sex routine. Like you're just weird. Like just don't ask. It's very very odd. Um Then I just was so taken aback by it And you know, Cory and I have gone through some stuff when it comes to like pregnancies and stuff like that So that's also contributed

um But like I already feel like I feel that mom role In my own life and like I work on this in therapy all the time where obviously like I Because we're best friends and I also work for you I am way more personally invested In the working relationship than I think a lot of people are in their regular jobs So it like sometimes yes, I do feel like your mom Like it kind of feels that role and sometimes obviously we all everyone who's married you cannot tell me

You don't end up feeling like that person's mom at certain points Oh a hundred percent a hundred percent I feel like a mom sometimes in my marriage my I have my mom that I Have here with me that sometimes like that role reversal happens When you get to a the older and your parents are older where you kind of are taking care of them a little bit So it's like fulfilling that mom role and then I have seven dogs So no literally seven do y'all she does she's not exactly that's not exaggerate. She has seven dogs a cat and a bird I

Also think that part of you like working for me and being my best friend is that you get a different insight about Being a working mom Um one thousand percent not only financially, but just from like a struggle aspect like you've watched me struggle You've watched me hit my lowest of lows. I mean even just getting on this podcast. I'm drained from Emotional, you know things that I have on my mind In my personal life and then my kids wanted to come to the office and I don't typically bring them to the office when I'm recording but for this day I had to And um, you know, I'm freaking out because I don't feel like recording today

But you know, I have to work because I have to pay my bills and then you see the financial hit and you know, you We talked about me having more kids and you said well, if you do, can you please not send them to playcare? like Financially, can you please not send them to play care? Um, and so it's just you see it from that end too like a 100 percent Yeah, well and I can see why you would say that you feel like my mom sometimes because you're teaching me things And you're doing things for me that my mom never did and so but that she should have done Um, and I definitely could see why that you feel like that. Um,

Do you think that I feel like that was like a lot? Oh, I'm sure I'm sure of it. Did no, no, you're fine. Um, did you have you ever questioned wanting to have kids at all? um No, I think that just like seeing like I've all like I not that I feel this need to have kids I just always thought I would and like I talked to people who You know one of my friends it's like no, I just always wanted to be a mom and I'm like, I don't know what that's like I knew I I always thought I would have kids. I never was like, oh my god. I need to have kids I want to be a mom

I respect the hell out of her because she knew that's what she wanted and she went and she did it like I'm all for doing what makes you happy, but I'm literally just like I Like we've had these conversations all the time. I look at it like well What's the benefit and that sounds fucked up, but I'm like, okay. I I function off of like pro and cons Well, what are the pros to having kids and you're all you look at me dead in the face and you're like You don't know what to say because it's like an I don't and I might get ripped to shreds for this

but I Love my kids the pieces and if you asked me if I wanted to have more kids the answer is probably yes I would absolutely be open to more kids. However When I talk to you about it and you ask me Would I recommend you having kids and the answer would be no Like for what wait, you know what I mean? Like I started young and I was an only I grew up an only child and I absolutely hated it so I knew that I was always going to give Isaac siblings and

um, you know, that was just something that I For me and now that I have three four kids, you know, what's another one for me? But for you, I'm like Uh, like it's it's hard. It's an indescribable feeling like you you absolutely love being a mom and I thrive in the chaos and I love my I love doing everything that I do with my kids, but like Say I didn't have four kids right now. Like picture a kale with no kids. I would I don't know that I would have gone to college or not. I'm not sure I know I would be busting my ass and whatever it was and I would be doing whatever the fuck it was and I'd be working my ass off I wouldn't have kids if I was 30 year old kale right now with no children never been married never been on the show

I would not have children And I think that's okay. Like looking at, you know, what your life might be without kids I feel like that's fine and no one I mean, I shouldn't say no one obviously people who don't know you will always really go Like she doesn't even want to be a mom or whatever and they make those dumbass comments But it's like no like you love your kids to death and you literally never know what to do with your free time without them Um, it always ends up linking back to something that has to do with your kids But when I look at it, I really genuinely think that when you're like, oh, I thrive in the chaos and it's like rewarding and this and that I think that I get that from

All of the jobs that I work. I think I get that same reward For like I fulfill that I don't want to say avoid because it's literally not avoid but like I fulfill that part with like my career So I'm not missing that part therefore when I'm thinking about kids and I look at the world We're living in these days, which is absolutely terrifying terrifying think about bringing a child into I'm just like what the hell would I do this for like? What would a logical person do this for and the Cory and I have very differ differing opinions on it like

We'll talk about it and he's like I just want kids and I'm like, okay, like why why just want them? Okay, but why like I'm just very like like I just want to know that like what is the why everything? Yeah, and he's like I don't I can't describe it to you. I just want to be a dad And I'm like I don't understand No, I get that because I look at All of the stages of kids that I've been through with you and I'm like Okay at this stage this part sucks and at this stage this part sucks and at this one this part sucks

So you just like get a different view of it. And then I think social media A lot of moms are constantly I don't want to say dissing motherhood But talking about how hard it is And you don't really see like if you go online and you search for positive things about motherhood There's really not many out there There's really not I and I also don't think about I don't think that people talk about it enough

You know, I have four children and just thinking about And I it's crazy because I did not think about it prior to having children But now that I have four kids all at different ages. I think about What if we get to the part where they move out and they're complete fuck ups? I think about that all the time. I I'm not like I don't I'm not going to go into detail here I literally buy it. No, this this is something I think about all the fucking time and I'm I'm like the amount of of people that I have known in my lifetime that are grown ups and I just like Life is fucking hard and I get it and everyone goes through their shit, but like

What if that's my kid like what if you get what I'm saying? Like I don't even know how to describe to you the anxiety that I feel No, I get exactly what you're saying I'm on the other side of that because I have a sibling who we were raised the exact same way and We went completely different directions in life and I'm like constantly questioning I was raised the exact same way that you were and you went right and I went left and I'm not really sure how this all occurred

But like that definitely plays in my head where I'm like Holy shit. What if I what if I fuck my kid up? What if something fucks my kid up? What if my kid is just fucked up? And that is like a terrifying thought like terrifying because Like you said life is hard even when you are have the best circumstances the best family the best everything And you could like I just think about when my kids are all grown like and I and I think now It's so fucked up. I know the trolls are gonna drag me for this. So I'm calling myself out before they do Um

Only now am I thinking about the qualities in my kids fathers that I am afraid For my kids to have as adults and I'm sure that the fathers have those same same reservations about me like Fuck did I have kids with the wrong person? Like is that trait of kales going to follow my kids through their lives? It are are these these traits from their fathers? I mean It's you don't think about it when you're in love and you don't think about it when you're fucking young and you don't Even you've never had an orgasm in your life, but you're having sex and you don't even know how

You got here Do you know what i'm saying and then now you have fucking kids at you know 17 years old and 21 years old and you know still haven't figured your life out But here let's go have another baby with somebody else like you're not thinking about those things And now that i'm 30 years old and i'm looking at the big fucking picture. I'm like what the fuck did I just do? Yeah, I mean, yes, like and it the whole thing is just terrifying the whole thing is From someone it's like one of those things where you know, you and I've joked all the time that like The day I decide to have kids

I'm literally just gonna have to just do it and deal with it like that's what's gonna end up happening Like I will be thrilled. I'm sure once it happens But like I am that person that thinks of like every possible scenario of what could occur What could go wrong? What could you know, it's usually what could go wrong? um Where kori is just like I don't want to say a blind idiot, but literally just like oh, you know, it'll work out everything's fine

Yep, and i'm like no no no no no because this this this this this like no, it's a lot It's it's so much but like people it's so funny because people say shit to me all the time Like oh my god, you married for five and a half years when you guys can have kids and it's like I'm only 28 years old, but maybe you don't maybe you wouldn't even want them at all I just hate that people ask Green chef is the best chef green chefs keto and paleo options give you the premium Proteins and vital veggies you need to conquer your day And that's something I struggle with if i'm trying to make my own meals without green chef

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That's gossip in spanish in case you didn't know So come vibe with us and be a part of this beautiful and kind of thrive in sisterhood Follow us on instagram at Vibe and kind of thrive in we'll catch you on mondays It brings me to the point of I had posted On the coffee combos facebook page about stuff people wanted you and I to talk about since lindsay is spring breaking it up and um This person i'm gonna read it and they just to say that I know they didn't come from like a bad place at all, but this actually Took me completely by surprise

And I was so mind-fucked by it. So they said Among a couple other topics. They said the struggles christen will end up facing not having had children early Yeah, she she's with a supportive partner and has her life together But what struggles she may face having children quote unquote later potentially having increased chances of having a child with a syndrome or health issues or increased fertility issues or increased pressure on The body with each pregnancy A discussion about the differences of life with children Depending on when you start the family process

So in my head, I was thinking she must think that i'm 40 So like one obviously my Botox is not doing well And I was like, let me just quit corrector. So I commented back. I said i'm only 28 And she was like, let me correct you really quick. You get you get Disport that Botox. Yes. Thank you. You get this part. Yeah, thanks. No problem So she said ha ha ha. I know you're not quote unquote old I'm only 32. So you're younger than me But what that starts to look like as you approach your 30s with no children

The struggles you might be looking at in comparison to having kids earlier Like yet 16, you don't know who you are and you have to struggle with growing up maturing differently friendship changes family relationship changes Education etc etc But your body typically handles it easier. You're less likely to have a child With a disability of some sort versus things that you might be looking at that become harder When you have a child later on in life Knowing when would be the right time and the mental change of don't get pregnant. Don't get pregnant suddenly becomes Okay, now would be okay

and I was so mind-fucked by that because Nobody has ever like I I still feel like 28 is young. I feel like 28 is young. I feel like that's a new perspective for you Yes, because I've never been questioned about having kids relating to my age Ever it's always been. Oh, well, you've been married for x amount of time So when are you going to start pumping out these damn kids? So her saying that I literally was like the statistical age of having a first child at this point in the world is 31 years old 31 I'm 28 relax I will say I will say

You know just having kids On both sides of it. I've had a child when I was 17 and I also had a child when I was how old I'm 30. I had you were 28 28 so essentially like a little over 10 years apart um You know the last two were harder than my first two However, not hard enough For me to not have another one because I'm 30 or 31 or 32, you know

um, also, I think that That's a little extreme. I think the her saying, you know, the the Higher chances of having a child with a syndrome or, you know, something like that. I think I believe and don't quote me on this. Don't be putting this out in a deposition for people to read um and quote me, but I think The doctors say 35 36 increases your chances of having a child, you know with a syndrome or um something along those lines. I

I've seen the same. I've seen the same. I'm sure it's harder physically on your body, but I think as far as like you're going to run the risk. So say when I was 17 years old I never partied or anything like that. But when I did when I um Did have a child at 17 years old. I think the ability to parent in a way that a child needs You're lacking that you're lacking some of the things that they need from a mature developed um seasoned diversified parent Verses when you have a child at 30 or 31, you're going to get two different types of parenting

And so if your doctor is okay is okay giving you the green light and okaying you to have a child at 31 32 33 years old and saying, you know your Pros outweigh the cons here. I don't see anything wrong with it. I get what she's saying um But I just turned 30 and I would have more kids. Fuck it It was it was so crazy because literally like I the majority of my friends do not like the majority of people I know my age and older do not have kids yet and they all want kids and

they're all planning for kids and it's just like I Was I just was so mind-fucked by it not in like I wasn't offended by any means. I just was like a holy shit This is the first time somebody is saying something to me Like I'm like quote unquote later on in life. I've never been said to me. It's always been pertaining to like Well, you've been married for this long when you guys can have kids never about my age. So that was crazy um

And I just don't I just feel like Don't ask people I guess is like my whole thing don't ask people I think the thing that I Because I like I thought that I was gonna have 2.5 kids a house with a white pick offense and a husband at like frickin 25 And then I hit 25 and I'm like life is way harder than that like had the husband Whatever But life was just hard as hell

And like it just wasn't it just wasn't something that was realistic had it happened would be a figured it out 1000% but I I just am a planner and I like to be more prepared Well, you've told me several times you're never going to be ready to have a baby like it's just not going to happen um But like I It was just very very it was very interesting. I uh It definitely was a new perspective for me even when you read it to me. I was

I get what she's saying. I just I'm like, yeah, like I'm not offended at all. I was like, holy hell um I think the biggest concern for me that I've seen from like talking to people who had kids young and older is that like When we buy it like as you get older you get more and more set in your ways I would say right so then like a baby coming in is disrupting I would say more disruptive But like being able to acknowledge it because I've seen I get everyone's everybody's different every baby's different 1000% But like seeing you go through three different infant stages

And like newborn and all that stuff and seeing I think I'm a lot more Prepared as far as that goes like I'm not afraid of my ability to keep the kid alive because I've seen you do it for so long I'm just like other people. I know obviously Um, but like just knowing knowing what's coming People are like, you know, you've asked me is this birth control for you knowing what's coming I'm kind of like, okay. I'd like to be in a place that we're a little more prepared in these ways before We go ahead and jump into that shift. So I mean even something as simple as um, you know, if if Cori um for those listening Cori is christens husband

And have the option to move to day shift like even something like that and he was on day shift for a while um, also For anyone listening that has kids. I think my biggest advice is if you are able to um travel because it's so hard to travel with kids um, and I do it every single year multiple times a year and Um, it's not for me. It's for them I want them to see the world and I want them to be experienced and cultured and diversified but

it's children Absolutely 110 percent change the dynamic of love in your relationship and I don't care what anyone says Yes, it may be stronger and yes, it may be different, but it will not be the same So if there are things that you really want to experience with your husband Um, or your partner your wife, whatever I highly encourage doing those things like I told chris and I said do not have a baby Obviously she could do whatever the fuck she wants, but I was like you want to go on vacation with your husband

Go on vacation with your husband before you have a baby There's no rush to have a child if you haven't even gone on like go spend that one-on-one time with your husband Go do some things with your husband that you thought you never do and then worry about kids afterwards because it'll be Harder to do when you have kids Um, especially for people that don't have nannies and especially for people who can't do daycare right away Um, and also there are so many things that some people won't do after kids. So like Skydiving for example, that was one thing that I think if I would have done it before I had kids would have been very different after I went skydiving

I was like, should I really be doing this when I have kids to live for? What if I'm not one percent that like splatters on the ground like right even going in, you know Doing my shark dives and things like that. I'm like, should I really be like I have to second guess every fucking thing that I do Um, and so just for those reasons like go live your life and then live and then you can do it again with kids You know like because people are like, oh, I'll just do it with kids. Okay. Yeah, that's fine But it's way easier said than done And some people really make it work and I like I'm like, oh wow But like I just think the chances about are super slim and then I see how

Involved you are with your kids sports and I know that's how Cori and I are going to want to be so then it leaves even less time to go and do things so it's like I want to live this part of our life now and then we're going to experience that part of our life And I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all I don't think there's anything wrong with people saying, you know, fuck it We're gonna have a baby as soon as we get married or we're not even getting married We're just having a baby like there's nothing wrong with how anybody wants to live their life It's just what's for them and like that this is what's for me

So I think um, it's interesting. So So this past weekend, I had none of my kids and I Was going to go out on a date and I Had to think about the fact that even though I didn't have my kids. I still had to go to all my kids stuff Um, and then that's another like when I tell you kids change everything I mean, you could be a date with your boyfriend or your husband or your like whoever You still go to your kids stuff. You get what I'm saying. And so you still have shit to do

Um, I ended up not going on the date and I ended up going to an airport to pick up my friend and then it was the wrong airport and so Um, I actually I this was the first basketball tournament I didn't make it to Um, and then the mom guilt set in and I was like, wow, I went to go pick up my friend from the airport Missed my son's basketball tournament just to be at the wrong airport. Um, and it was just a fucking nightmare But motherhood affects a mother's entire life. Yeah, I and that's what's crazy to me And I my biggest thing is like I don't want to resent Corey

And I've heard a some sense of resentment is very very normal Because everything in your life is changing and nothing in theirs is Um, well even your body changes your weight. Yeah, everything and I've heard like that's very very normal But like I don't want to get I don't want to be in a place where the resentment is so bad that it like Then just causes a whole other slew of problems when you have a newborn um I can't I'm like all I ever hear about is mom guilt and I'm obviously don't experience that yet I can imagine

What that's like, obviously um and that just doesn't Like right now I'm not in a place where I can like take the responsibility of a whole other human on because I have way too many humans that are Needing me. No 100% right now. I get it. Trust me. I get it I know that I've been doing a lot of spring cleaning kale I know that you just had the neat method at your house to do your spring cleaning for you because with four kids

It is unimaginably hard and you sent me that cute picture with all of your kiwi co kids And I'm so excited to see you the kids do everything from those crates Well, it's just like super it's different than any other school project that they're going to do They're super hands-on. They're they're interactive and like I said to my kids all the time Like try something new because you will you will literally surprise yourself and how Interesting something is or how how much you like something And I love that because this does that for the kids like kiwi co crates definitely Inspires creativity and I love that so you can cultivate your child's natural creativity and curiosity with new hands-on projects every single month

The looks will are new worlds and rediscover familiar ones without even leaving home And I love that and you can kind of just do your part to encourage your children to be innovative and creative thinkers I know Isaac is definitely one but Lincoln has definitely surprised me when he's working on these projects So give them the tools to learn new skills build new experiences and make new connections to the broader world As a parent it can definitely be really hard to find things that keep your kids challenged But also busy and kiwi co does the legwork for you So you can actually spend the quality time doing the projects together instead of going to the store to get different things And if you guys want to step into spring and celebrate the season of discovery with the kiwi co subscription

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code coffee Um, so that was very very interesting to me. Then we got asked also Um Let's see. Okay. How can somebody who has more of a freelance schedule stay organized and motivated without the typical 9 to 5 schedule And how do they prioritize projects and like how do we do it? Literally? No immediately no

I've heard what I needed to hear And I am exiting the building. This is one of my I just can't like in so many ways I Do wish that I worked a nine to five so that I would have structure and I would have An exact schedule to build other appointments off of but when I it's so hard and I I'm This is I hate talking about this But I love talking about it because it brings awareness to it

But it also gets me dragged because people like you don't have a real job. I wish I had your job Yeah, everything always seems like the grass is greener on the other fucking side but when I tell you that I have to check my next day schedule a hundred times before the next day because I Am like tomorrow today. Let me read you my schedule for today And then I'm gonna read you my schedule tomorrow and I want you guys to think about this over and over and over and over and over and over again Okay so Today very light day

um However, we had some pop-ups that happened so My four of my kids went to the dentist. They started at 9 30 I they didn't call me to tell me that the dentist had to step out and that creed would not be able to be seen first first appointment today So he would have to be rescheduled. So I kept all of them from school To go to the dentist for only three of them to be seen instead of the original four They got done super early But I had risk I had rescheduled this recording today because I had four kids going to the dentist

And I didn't want to rush and I didn't want to be late and I didn't want anyone to wait on me So then Lindsay ended up not recording christen ended up recording for me I then have to Take my dog to the vet because for whatever reason he's limping his eyes are gross He's got conjunctivitis and some sort of growth on his leg My dogs ran away today. They ran to the neighbor's yard and it was a field day for them Um, and then I came here. So it was this was actually a less chaotic day for me. Yeah, this was a light day

Now tomorrow I will take my dog to the vet between 7 30 and 8 a.m. On an empty stomach I will then go to therapy from 9 30 to 10 30. I have a doctor appointment at 11 Kristen has therapy at 12, which means she's unavailable for all calls and texts and minor inconveniences Um, Lincoln has an orthodontist appointment after school, which means that I will oh somehow I don't even know how my kids are getting to school tomorrow because if I have to be at the vet between 7 30 and 8 And my kids have to be to school at 8 15 and then I have a therapy at 9 30 What the fuck um, and then I have to pick my kids up at 3 But then Lincoln has an orthodontic appointment at 4 and I did make a hair appointment at 5

So that I was able to get my hair done before my trip. Like I it's just um, okay So then Wednesday again light day. I have some recordings. I need to do that's great. Get my kids to school to get them up You have two interviews. I do have two interviews So then Thursday brings me to Thursday. I will get up take my kids to school go to therapy I have to go to Newark, which is about an hour away to meet my builder. I have to record I have a phone conference with my book publisher at 3 o'clock when I also pick my kids up And then I'll go home and do dinner. Oh, I forgot tomorrow. We have baseball So it looks like who's going to get lucks to baseball while I have my hair appointment. So

um, you know, it just You can't stay organized There is no organization with nine with when you don't work a nine to five when you are an entrepreneur But then the flip side of it is when you work a nine to five or any type of um, like structured corporate job or a job 8 to 4 whatever it may be 6 to 6 Then you might not have the flexibility to take appointments whenever you need to the dentist the obgyn um The eye doctor your your kids your hair whatever you don't have that flexibility, but you have structure. So there's

There's pros and cons. Yeah, and and so when people say, oh, you don't have a job. Oh, you don't work a nine to five Oh this oh that it's like There's literally pros and cons to everything But I would be lying to you guys if I said that I did not lose my mind on a regular fucking basis because I never know What's gonna pop up show up Whatever one then the flip side of that is you have me

Who thrives in structure and tries very hard to maintain Structure and plan out, you know my stuff and then you'll come in and you'll be like actually this is what has to get done So actually this is a priority So like kale's priorities and what actually have to be priorities are very different things about 79.5 percent of the time I'm very very different like I'll be like, okay. Well, I heard from these people That I have to do this this and this and kale's like, well, I'm telling you I need this instead

so on it's It's definitely difficult, but I feel like Really identifying what the priorities actually are Trying to leave room for like fuck ups, I guess like anything that's gonna come in and mess up your whole day and You know, just do do the best you can is if everything's getting done, then you're doing fine Like that's the best thing I could say. Yeah, although a lot of times

I should have done something three days ago. I was supposed to get some papers notarized Marcus called me today. It's like, hey, did you ever get those papers notarized? I said, I sure did I said, I'll see you after 4 30 Ask me if I got those fucking papers notarized. Ask me what I'm about to do when I get off of here I'm gonna close the fucking laptop and I'm gonna rush my ass to the notary And I'm gonna meet up with him to give him these fucking documents like Don't and then it's like I can sometimes I'll Do be really good with a planner and I'm putting everything in my planner putting everything in my phone

And then other times I'm like, oh fuck like I Was doing something while I said I was gonna do that and put it in my planner and never did It's so there's there's pros and cons to all of it And so I just think everyone needs to give you and you're like, oh My recording got moved and I'm like, yeah, it's been in there for like a week and you're like, mm. Okay That literally happened that literally happened last week And I was in the drive-thru like 20 minutes from the office and I'm just like Lindsay's gonna cut my head off with a butter knife. So I'm done. Oh, I Lindsay on the other hand has

very structure very structured Scheduling like very very structured. Like I don't think that Lindsay even allows For a pop-up to occur I like I wish that I was like that because I think it would make my life a lot easier And Kristen has done her fucking hardest to make my Tuesdays and Thursdays available for all appointments But the thing with that is like say

um So I have a doctor appointment tomorrow at 11 They didn't really give me any options that would thankfully it was on a Tuesday But there was not any other options that they gave me were not on a Tuesday or Thursday Do you get what I'm saying? And so it sounds good in theory But if I need something to be seen like I have to get a new prescription like I Glasses not like I'm not on drugs It sounds good in theory, but I can't wait two weeks to get it on a Tuesday or Thursday

I need to go when I need to go um And same thing for my kids I have to schedule a lot of my kids appointments on my time because it doesn't make sense for me to schedule All the kids on different days and let their dads take them or try to figure out who has them It's easier for me because I know I'm gonna have to take lux and creed anyway For me to schedule Lincoln and Isaac on my my weeks as well So I have to make like it's just chaos at all times

I think too like part of it is that like okay, and I she'll she'll tell me if I get this wrong Lindsay will like she schedules her shit out far in advance So she gets her shit when she wants it and gets it on the schedule Whereas you call and you're like I want the next available appointment And I don't care if it's fitting in my schedule. Something else is moving because I need this move things for Right, and that's where lindy is like absolutely not. I'm scheduling this shit out like for the rest of the year like january She's like I am scheduling every single one of these appointments that are recurring appointments that I need to do Are getting scheduled in january for the whole year

So I think that that's like I envy That situation no when I was scheduling the So when creed couldn't get seen this morning I had to reschedule him The only two appointments that they had were on a tuesday or a thursday when I have therapy So I was like fuck it my kids dentist appointment comes before therapy So I will tell my therapist I need to move therapy even though those are my standing appointments from on tuesdays and thursdays at 9 30 Now I will say that my therapist is super flexible with me, and I know that I'm going to get two sessions in a week

However, that means that whatever I move that thursday therapy appointment to It's going to take the spot of something else another recording another this another that But again, it has to be on my week that I take it just I can't I can't I cannot Yeah, it's uh I you know love that for us do I just I'm out here voting for doing the best Doing the best you can with what you got And let's like not judge other people because you just don't know what they're struggling with at home And you don't know

You know what it took for them to get that job or to be where they are if they're just trying to make ends meet like Stop stop judging the graph and also the grass is not always greener on the other side. So one thousand percent would agree Thanks, ma'am You definitely heard me talk about how much I love native on this podcast before Kristen now that I've talked about it. You've tried it. And what do you think? I absolutely love it I think it smells so good and it performs so well I think I was like really hesitant to you know make the switch over but I've been taking after you and trying to To get more into natural products and I'm loving native

so native is doing their part to help our earth and They have their new 100 plastic free and recyclable packaging which we love Um years ago. I think probably it was two or three years ago I started doing more recycle than trash and I felt so good about it. So this is definitely something I can stand behind native is also a proud partner of One percent for the planet and are committing one percent of their plastic free deodorant sales to environmental nonprofits So we love a company like this They have 10 cents to choose from including their classic coconut

Which is one of my favorites the classic coconut and vanilla Sensitive formulas that are formulated without baking soda and they have unscented which is really nice If you're ready to try plastic free deodorant go to nativedo.com slash combos or use promo code combos at checkout and get 20% off your first order That's native deo.com slash combos and use promo code combos at checkout for 20% off your first order So when it comes to looking goods stitch fix, how do you cover? They got your back Say goodbye to endless browsing and hello to fresh picks curated for your taste and size I hate shopping online because I find it so hard to actually pull the trigger and execute the purchase Although that is contrary to what christen sees on my bank account

Um, she thinks I just swipe my card left and right. However, that is not the truth I actually struggle to swipe my card sometimes but Um, it's really nice It's easy To refresh your wardrobe with seasonal pieces that you know feel like you and if there's anything that you don't like in your fix You can send it back because they send you a prepaid label And that really was what sold me because with four kids and shopping for four kids. It's literal just chaos at all times

This has made it super easy for me to shop for myself, but also for my kids And I can just you know return whatever I don't want So if you like to shop, but you don't want to browse endlessly then check out stitch fix freestyle It's an online shop bill just for you and it's like having your own clothing store But like online to get started you take this style quiz So stitch fix can learn your preferences from your favorite colors to preferred fits and price ranges That's another big aspect that I love is that you can put in like what you would be willing to spend on certain items So for my kids, that's a huge thing for me

Get started today by filling out your freestyle quiz at stitch fix comm slash combos and take advantage of free shipping and returns That's stitch fix comm slash combos to try stitch fix stitch fix comm slash combos Okay, so we've got some foul play Follow-ups from the last couple weeks of foul plays. Oh, I can't wait They've written in to you know give some more info. So Do you want the mistaken fruit stack follow-up or do you want the truck shitting on the side of the road follow-up? The truck shitting on the side of the road follow-up. Thank you. Okay. We'll do that one first then So this listener said hi ladies. I cannot believe my foul play story was chosen for the podcast last week

I literally screamed in my car as I was listening to answer her a few questions Yes, my boyfriend was very well aware of my sensitive stomach at that time Okay, we had been together for just over two years at that point. No, we are not married But we are still together going on almost five years We have a beautiful two-year-old son and are about to start the process of planning Slash building our future home on our 12 acres that we purchased last summer. Oh, I love that. Ooh 12 acres. That's so good Isn't that so cute? I'm just like first of all Kayle needs to take some tips from you because she doesn't tell anybody about her sensitive stomach. Oh my god. I can't tell you a shit story really quick

Let me tell you a shit story. Okay, so I people who listen to this podcast I apologize in advance for anyone who knows me like in real life because this is tmi Um, I like won't shit for days on end and then I when I poop my stomach hurts It's not diarrhea, but like my stomach hurts and I need to go right the fuck now. There is no holding it I cannot hold it for two minutes. I will not clench my asshole. I will just go poop so um bone and

Oh my god I'm putting my dick on the table with this one. Um Hot neighbor was over helping me set something up for my guests that were coming in from out of town And I was like here. Can you go upstairs and do this for me really quick because like I don't know Just like do this for me really quick And then my stomach was killing me and I was like, oh my god, I have to go to the bathroom But like if I'm downstairs It's only the outdoor bathroom, which was locked and I couldn't find the key

And then my bathroom, which I don't want him coming in there and like I don't think he would but like also don't come Looking for me and then my regular powder room. So I was like fuck I have to go in one of the kids bathrooms And lock their bedroom door and then also lock the bathroom doors And I don't want him to come looking for me because he was I asked him to please do something in Lincoln's room to do Like get some shit together for me So I text bone. I said bone. I need you to call hot neighbor downstairs. He cannot be up here I don't want him up here. I have to go to the bathroom

I I wanted to die Wait, so she I don't know if he just like went downstairs on his own or what but It was quick like I'm a fast pooper like super fast speed poop, whatever come back come downstairs and she will she text me She's like he's outside and I was like, oh, thank god Come down and I just like acted like everything was fine Why did this man say something to me?

He was like bone. You had to poop so And I was like I want to die. So I said something to bone. I was like, did you fucking tell him you told him I had to poop Like why would you do that? and she said That he wouldn't go do something he wouldn't go do something. So she was like she told him you have to you have to Yes, because she was he's she she and he knew my fear of like pooping around people. So like Oh my gosh, thank you so much and it's on shit brown paper. Thank you so much. I love it. Um

So I was like, did you tell him because he said it to me and she was like, well, he wouldn't he wouldn't get out She's like, I couldn't distract him. So she was like, you know, kill has to go poop. So you have to go His house is on fire like what? You're fucking sinker leaking out the driveway might have to like gently light something on fire at the house to make it believable Oh my god, we should have said the dogs ran away or something and he could have chased them something Oh my god, I was so embarrassed And I literally when he started to bring it up to me and immediately when I knew that he knew that I had to poop I literally stop stop talking. I don't want to hear you say that you knew that I had to go

Like immediately Thank you. Oh my god, those words to me. I don't okay Well that now we have the mistaken fruit snack follow-up from last week. Okay. I'm scared of this one She said heard you read the story. We buy welches fruit snacks from Costco And it literally looked like one of the grape ones and it was the same size and the same consistency I said that so that's how the mistake and turd was smushed around in her hand Um poor that poor lady. I don't I don't see and like again, this is coming from children So I'm over here like you want me to have to roll around shit in my hands like I'm confused

But it's fine. Okay Anyway, now we have the foul play for this week and I don't think you're I don't think you're ready Okay, okay. I have to like pull the screen down so I can see your face at the same time as I read this Okay, I thought you'd all enjoy my shitty foul play of the morning I work night shift So I'm always ready for bed and I don't have to worry about our dog needing to go out since my husband takes him out Every morning before he leaves for work. This is like my life right now I lay down and quickly fall asleep not long later. I wake up because I keep smelling shit

I didn't fart. I love how she clarifies. I didn't fart nor has anyone recently used the attached batter I flip the covers off me and a solid turd goes flying I'm heated at this point. I clean up the shit and I start gathering the blankets to throw in the washer Multiple shit turds are smashed in the blanket and one to the bed post. No, which no, I don't know how it got smashed through the bed post, but damn I'm mortified I throw the blankets in the washer and I go to grab another blanket from the couch to take it to bed but

I wasn't able to salvage any of the five blankets from my couch Because there are mounds of vomit on the blankets on the couch and running down the wall behind the couch I think it would be easier to burn the whole couch and bed at this point. Who? Who? So her poor dog. It has to be the dog. Who did this? I'm assuming it's the dog. That actually wasn't specified It has to be the dog. Was it the husband? Oh my god the dog I could have been not Did he get sick in the night? Did he get sick in the night?

Listen Foul play submitter we need your follow-up because that's awful. Is this your dog your husband both? We need details I just can't one time when I was a kid Um, we had this cat named sergeant pepper rest in peace sergeant pepper. Um, this big fat gray cat that my mom got When I was like one or two and I had him until I was like, I don't know fucking 13 anyways recipes, but he um He threw up in my bed in the middle of the night and I didn't know Because I was asleep. I was a child. I was probably like eight or nine years old and I will never forget waking up

And realizing that I had rolled around in cat vomit all night And I could not Get past like the cat vomited in my bed like on me and I didn't know I was sleeping. So, um when my dogs move on in Over the rainbow bridge in this lifetime I will not be getting any more animals. That's a lie. We already know it's a lie I don't need Jerry Springer to tell me it. It's a lie Is it that's mori. No, I think it's Jerry Springer

Isn't it Jerry Springer the the lie detector test determined that was a lie. Yeah, who is that? That's mori. Okay. Well, it's still a lie. Get your shit started your starters, right? It's a fucking lie because you have told me this shit and you keep getting animals and you're gonna end up with goats And I already know it. I can't stop. That's number one. No, I'm not getting the fucking number two You know what? I will tell you The barn cat is actually a lot more work than I than I thought Um, because the barn cats are more My barn cat specifically is not um pet is not friendly for humans. Um, he is meant to be outside

That's how I got him from the SPCA. Actually, there's no adoption fee for Um barn cats, but they get like microchipped and they get all their vaccines and stuff or whatever before they get sent. Um Um, he is far more work than I think a house cat is because The way that we were told to transition him to like our barn or whatever He's just like dirty like he would like go in the litter box and then climb on top of stuff and then climb on top of his food And water stuff and then that's like Dirty litter and stuff. I mean I took everything out of his little Area and like sprayed it down today cleaned it all up put it back put it back together

Opened his crate so that he's able to go into like his little um, Natalie's mom made this like Area for him with like hay in it. Like it's like a big it's like a cool like hay thing Um, kind of like a cat tower, but it has like hay in it. I don't know. It's super cool. Um, and I loved it but there are a lot more work than I anticipated so I Um, I just don't I I'm tapped out with animals at this point. I mean I get that I get that I I

Back to the foul play thing like you have dogs. So you might understand this like I will wake up because I hear my dog about to throw up like I know the sound and nothing gets me up quicker than when That like any of my dogs are about to barf. I will hear them from across the house. I will hear them in my dead sleep like I don't care. I'm not laying in bed with throw up and you're not puking on my bed Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm my all my dogs. Um, I got dragged for this, but um My dogs are crated at night and when I'm not at home. Um, that's just what we do and they're happy and healthy and it doesn't matter, but um

I also like this morning they got my dogs got up earlier than expected Um, normally they don't like they probably an hour early Which is a big deal in our house because the dogs just typically they just have their schedule But they woke up early. I immediately knew something they needed to go outside like I didn't even need to like, you know what I mean like you just know with animals and um Yeah, I also Probably I'm lying when I say I'll never have my animals. Yeah, you definitely are You definitely are it's kind of like the same thing with like kids like when you say, I'm not gonna have any more

I'm like, yeah, you are. Mm-hmm. Well the kid thing I mean Don't I mean I hope the world Why haven't comedians like made me a bit on stand-up like I'm kind of disappointed. I don't know if you want that like I mean the trolls do it. It can't be worse than that. Yeah, but they're not they don't do anything. That's funny. It's like Tired jokes. That's what I'm saying. Like why can't comedians say something funny? We can like try they're just yeah, um, well You're getting ready for your trip this week. So that'll be fun. Mm-hmm

You're not going to be on next week's episode. Lindsay is going to be on because you'll be in the middle of the air for two days okay, and also, um I'm gonna link if you guys follow my personal instagram at kaolowry. I'll link a bunch of stuff that I got on amazon for my trip Um, mainly just like like travel and beach stuff. Not it's not specific to where I'm going Um, because obviously it's the spring time. I know people travel in the spring in the summer so I'll link some stuff that I got for my trip and

I hope y'all have a great spring break if you haven't had it already or you had an amazing spring break if you did um, and it's tourist season and um I'm not really about that. Yeah, so you'll be on next week, but you'll be back You're gonna check in you're gonna do a little check in on your trip, right for us for the week after that Since you'll still be there. Yes Yes, I will so I'm gonna bring my laptop. Is that what you're saying? Um, No, you're gonna bring your well. Yes, but you're gonna bring your phone for sure and get the app To just do a little check in

For everyone. Let us know what's up with the travels. I will definitely do that what you've been doing and All that good stuff. Kayle's also gonna give me her links She doesn't know it, but she's gonna give me her links to put on the coffee combos instagram so that everybody can Oh, okay. I can definitely do that. People that are gonna ask me for the links can get them um I'm gonna be checking what Lux just came in to announce that he has to go poop. Do you want to tell everybody? Oh, okay great. Oh, okay

Perfect. I'm gonna go poop Thank you. That's how your foul play story. Yeah, I feel like that one occurs in your house a lot Lincoln, do you have anything to say to the people before we hang up? Say you have to go pee He doesn't no, he doesn't have to go pee Do you what is it like to have such a chaotic life at my house? Lux said a mother has kids Come here

It's it's what normal. It's normal for what? Having chaotic kids. Did y'all just hear lux's fart? Oh Oh my god, I have to get off of here Oh Oh, yeah, he's laughing I'm getting off Okay, well on that note kale you need to go take care of your child Um, I think you're gonna have a foul play for us when you get home

At this point and um, I hope you have a great trip Okay, bye. Bye. I love y'all. See you