Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Scams, Only Child Advice & Six Schizophrenic Brothers Thoughts

Episode Date: July 22, 2024

CC362: On this month's bonus episode... Lindsie need some home decor help, Kail has some thoughts on advice from an only child, and they recap the docu-series Six Schizophrenic Brothers. Also, Lindsie comes across the story of a California woman who scammed people for money by pretending she had a cancer diagnosis. A listener asks what is a good way to help their single friend who just had a baby. And today's Foul Play probably wins the most chaotic and dangerous! Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more! Thank you to our sponsor!  Apartments: Visit Apartments.com, a place to find a placeBetter Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthHyatt Vivid: Learn more at HyattVividResorts.com and discover limited-time grand opening rates and a free speedboat excursion for twoProgressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn moreSignos: Go to Signos.com and use code COFFEE to get up to 20% off select plans for you today

I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convo's with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever. I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family and life in the public eye.

I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsay. Welcome to Coffee Convo's podcast, Kitties. Welcome to Coffee Convo's podcast. I need to tell you what I'm doing after our recordings today that I've never done. Okay. So you know how you get like a blowout every week? Yes. And I think that's phenomenal. And I wish that I could do that. My hair just everything that I've tried that you've said just doesn't work. Which is so weird to me.

My hair just looks like shit the next day that I wake up and there is no way around me having to put more heat on my hair the next day. So it's basically a waste of time unless I'm going to like an event or I just want to look put together and I didn't do myself, okay? I'm going to a head spa place. Yeah, they have one. I literally put it on my two schedule

because my hairstylist told me about it. They have one here too. It's like an hour away, but I still wanna go. Wait, is the one that they have near you where they use like a microscope and look at your scalp and stuff? Oh, I don't know. I know it's like a whole scalp treatment and massage

and like the whole nine, but I don't know about that. So the one that I'm going to, and they probably have them in different places all over, but one of my girlfriends who promotes like all this stuff in Atlanta around here, she's an influencer for like Atlanta area, She promoted this and I was like, wait, I need to go to that place because I was influenced by the influencer. And it was showing pictures of

like her scalp. And she regularly gets her hair washed like every week does same blowout thing you do. But the microscope on her scalp, and then they microscope it after you do the whole thing. Unreal, like I'm going to take a picture of my scalp, I'm probably going to be disgusted. And I'm going to discuss y'all, but I'm going to show you what it looks like. I'm going to show you are you like a prop like a heavy product girly because I don't you don't strike me as someone that uses a lot of hair product that would sit

on the scalp. I don't. I don't wash my hair every day either, though. I am maybe like a once every four day washer. I feel like I, because I get my blowout and I don't wash my hair until the end of the week, the buildup for like dry shampoo and the products when we spray like anti-humidity, which sometimes works, sometimes doesn't, hairspray, dry shampoo, texture spray, like all of that once a week. And then it just sits there.

And then the dry shampoo is like, I do it multiple times. So I feel like you don't do those things. So would it be that bad? I mean, obviously there's like regular factors like the environment, but... I don't know, but I also am curious to know if the type of shampoo and conditioner and stuff that you're using in your shower creates buildup when you think it's getting clean.

So I'll be interested to find that out. I also need recommendations from anybody who's listening for shampoo and conditioner because I'm running out to the end of my bottle and I always switch it up. Like after I complete a bottle, then I throw that out and I get something brand new. Sometimes, it depends. Sometimes I try new things. Sometimes I don't, but like I do switch up a lot. My hairstylist told me one time and this was like years ago that your hair becomes accustomed to whatever you're using. So if you feel like you're getting into like a problem area, it's probably because your

hair is accustomed to the shampoo and conditioner that you're using and you just switch it. Oh, interesting. So I always just switch every time I get a new, like every time I get a new bottle and I run through it, then I get something brand new that I haven't used before. That's so interesting. I also need to know why people that are in the industry creating shampoo and conditioner, and maybe you can answer this since you had pothead at one time, which by the way, I still get messages about potheads. Me too.

I made an announcement back when I sold the company. I don't know why people, I sold the company y'all. I don't know. As far as I understand, they have not done anything with it, but that's what it was. So that was what happened. I don't have any other words. Answer this question now, and you might not know the answer. Why do shampoo and conditioner brand people make shampoo and conditioner the exact same

size bottle? I use a fraction of the conditioner that I use to shampoo. Well, because they know, in my opinion, it's a it's a marketing tactic, right? Because it gets you to buy more product more shampoo or sorry, yeah, more shampoo, and you'll still have the conditioner. And so you'll either spend more money buying singles, or you'll spend more to get, I don't know, I don't know. It's so strange to me because if they had,

if I'm just shopping at whatever store that I'm buying shampoo and conditioner, now it's typically Target because they have like the Ulta inside. If they had a small bottle of conditioner, I would buy that because I switch my shampoo every single time, but I feel so waste that because I switch my shampoo every single time but I feel so Wasteful whenever I switch my shampoo and I want my conditioner to match or like compliment my shampoo

Then I throw the other part of my conditioner away put it in a travel bottle so that you can take it That's a really good idea. Yeah, just into the Kristen said pro tip by the salon size shampoo to the normal size conditioner. That's a good point too. That's a good idea. So I'm going to do this scalp massage situation. I'll take pictures of my scalp.

I'm probably going to be disgusted, but they also offer like a facial service. So you need to check with your place that you're going to to see if they like do the whole works. Do you guys have a float place where you can go float in salt water? No, you need to know that I'm aware of I mean, we might but not that I'm aware of. You need to do a salt float. I took Elijah for his birthday and it was so fucking cool and relaxing. Like I literally fell

asleep in this salt water. It was the weirdest, coolest floating. Yeah. Were you not afraid to drown? No, because it's only like a couple inches of water and you literally float. Like you can't, you have to force yourself to sit if you don't wanna float. And it's like a work, like you go to,

like the salt forces you to float. Wait, what's the benefits of like this salt thing? Oh, it's like, I think it's at 1,100 pounds of Epsom salt or something like that. And so Epsom salt is pretty good for you, for your muscles, for all kinds of things. I don't know all of the benefits, but I'll send you what I did, the experience that I did. It was so fucking cool. And you're in this tank thing in a private room and it goes into a bathroom. It's really cool. It's really fucking cool. And you're like in this like tank thing in a private room and it like goes into a bathroom.

It's like, it's really cool. It's really fucking cool. Okay, well now I'm going to be looking up for a place to float and salt. So if Kristin goes looking for me, you're responsible for this. Yes. Okay, I have a home decor question that I need to ask you. And I think that the majority of our audience would think that I was maybe better at home decor than Kale. Wrong. What? What? Kale is like the best, has the best decorators eye. Remember when you had like your, this was like right when we started the podcast, I think it was the house that you and Javi lived in. And it was like when you and I first became friends.

Do you remember this? I think it was like right after you had Lincoln and I was like obsessed with how you decorated your house. Right after I had Lincoln, that was my worst design era. No, but it was like so cute at the time. But like now, okay, what is the plan for the new house? Well, I've sent you some of my design stuff which I loved is really beautiful. I even asked you if she's taking

on other clients for mine. The chevron wall was top tier Kristin said chevron wall. I just loved your design and mainly I think I loved it because you did it yourself. Oh yeah. Yeah, I feel like it always hits different when you do things yourself. But the way that I am today, I feel like I'm too like I'm so hard on myself when it comes to like my choices. It just feels like I'm not. It's like imposter syndrome. Like I'm not capable of doing it. And I don't know, it's a

weird place to be. Okay, so the house that I'm in now, I don, I think I told you this at one point that I left my house one day and came back and then it was fully furnished because I just hired a company to come in and they furnished everything and I had very, I did give them like ideas of stuff that I liked, but I didn't have like a hand selection process with that, if that makes sense. Wait, I don't remember you ever telling me that that's how you did it. I thought that the house came furnished. No, no, no, no, no, no. This house came with jack shit.

Wait, so what kind of company is this? Like, do they come to Delaware? Because you know I'm about to build a house. Well, I actually really loved this lady and they have the most beautiful home ever. And she knew that I was going through divorce. Literally everyone that worked with me came in so clutch when I moved into this house because they knew the situation, right? And people were reaching out to me and they were like,

hey, let my company come and help you. Like, I know you're going through a hard time. And it was so nice because I got help that I didn't even know that I needed. But she came one day, looked at my house, measured the rooms. She was like, your install day is going to be next week. I had no furniture here. Jackson and I literally just sat on the floor and ate paper sack meals.

Wait, so but where did the furniture come from? Because when we moved into these houses, this house, I think I was like, you were either there for a year or two years. And I moved into this house and my furniture took, I mean, I'm talking some of my pieces didn't come for months and months and months. Like, I think one piece I got an entire year later. So like, where did her furniture come from? She has an entire warehouse full of furniture where people can go in and buy it off the floor. But then she also has like for pieces that they sell a lot of, she already has the inventory

there. So she was able to pull from her inventory. And when I tell you came and looked at my house one day, gave me an install date of the following week, I had to leave my house for like nine hours. I came home and everything was like in here. Set up. Can I have the name of this company please? Yes, you can. I will send it to you. But this is this is my big

I won't forget. This is my biggest decision that I'm going through right now for my dining room, which by the way, I have not had a table in three years. Because you've had the bar at your counter. Yeah, with two seats, two chairs. No one can use a- Do you not have a dining room? I do, but it's like an overflow living room. I don't even know if I could fit a dining room table in there.

It's like pretty small. Okay. We've never had a table at this house. So now I'm having a dining room because I'm grown now. Right. And I need to select the fabrics for my chairs. Fabric on chairs, Lindsey. Yes, I'm gonna Scotch guard them. That is the most like I don't even know what the word is. Um, I need to see the rest of the colors.

Like of the room. Well, the table's neutral. The table's neutral and the chairs are colored. I personally like the one in your right hand better. This one? Yeah. This is the one I chose. It's called nectarine and this is terracotta.

I personally like nectarine better. Oh good, because nectarine has a three month waiting period. So I will also not have chairs until October. So love that for me. Everybody who's listening to this, we will clip this and you guys can also vote. My next selection is my couch. Would anybody like to explain to me

why couches are so expensive? So my house, I was trying to go for like design over functionality. And that was one of the biggest mistakes I've made because my house was thousands of dollars. And when I tell you I'm sitting on wood framing now, and that couch for the cost of the couch should have been able to be durable and cute, especially for the brand that it is, and it is by far the worst couch in terms of durability. So this weekend, I am planning to go to restoration hardware, which the cost of a couch from restoration hardware, y'all don't even look because it will make you for me drive off spaghetti junction here. What is it though? Like is it like a warehouse or like hold on what is it? No, you've never

heard of restoration hardware. No, I've heard of it restoration, but I don't really, I'm not familiar with it, but I've heard of it. It's, it's- Is it a brand? Yes, and it is ridiculously expensive, but I have wanted this cloud couch since I literally moved in here. The cloud couch has a dupe at Costco.

Okay, well then we need to have a side conversation about this, I just need to have a side conversation about this. I just need to know, are we more like grays or are we more like, this is like dove or we more sand? Pull it back a little bit. Initially I was going to say dove, but I think for like matching purposes, I would hate to see you lean everything towards gray because I did that before and I regretted it So I'm gonna go with sand Kristin and I said the exact same thing

So we're all on the same page. I love this. These are restoration hardware cloud couch Fabric samples, so I'm gonna go check that out and I'm also gonna go and check out lovesack because I've heard great things about Did you like it? You did? Okay. Well, at the time I didn't know what the fuck I was doing with the couch itself lasted a really long time.

I ended up selling the couch to Javi's brother or giving it to Javi's brother when I moved. I think that was when, before Javi and I were married. So that was 2011 or 12 and it lasted all like for a long time. I'm sure since then, like today, it probably has evolved even more from that. They were expensive back then. So I wouldn't I would be curious to see what their prices are today. Well, I can just tell you, I'm not going to spend that kind of money without going and lounging on it in a showroom. So if anybody sees me

around the Atlanta area sleeping at Restoration Hardware or at Lovesac, mind your fucking business. So I have a question for everyone listening to this podcast and potentially for you since you're further in the process. When I did this house, I pretty much just ordered from like familiar places. Is there a benefit in going to like a furniture show and like going and like sourcing things? Is there a financial benefit in any way? Do you think? Like when I find something cheaper going to a show or like a warehouse of some sort, like where I can fly, because we don't have anything

like that in here in Delaware. But if I could save money by going to a showroom, a show, like a warehouse and picking out something that they have in stock, like, and shipping it to my house, would that be more time efficient and cheaper overall? Or does anyone even know? I don't know, but that is actually the exact process that I'm in right now. So I will be able to get back to you on that and let you know what my experience is. Okay. Atlanta does have a furniture mart, which is a wholesaler, like a bunch of wholesalers in a place. And so you can get wholesale pricing. So I will keep you updated on that. Okay, I just want everyone to close their eyes and picture the perfect vacation. Blue skies, chill vibes, cool cuisine, and the freedom to do your own thing. Hyatt Vivid Grand Island in Cancun is waiting for you.

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I don't know who that is. So Scamanda is a podcast, a name of a podcast, and it follows the story of a woman from California who for seven years pretended that she had cancer and scammed people out of over $100,000. I think at the end of it, it was like $105,000 of donations. This woman was such a professional con and scam artist that she was able to produce documents from an actual hospital for her alleged treatment.

Well, all that takes is some quality photoshopping with a name change. Well, ma'am, I'm not, we all know that I am not very tech savvy. I wouldn't be able to photoshop anything for that matter, specifically a document. She was posting photos from inside of the hospital where she claims that she was having treatments, and come to find out it was all a scam.

But how easy would it be if you know somebody that is going through something and posting photos or Googling somebody else's story or going in? I could walk into my hospital right here in Dover and just like walk in and take pictures. Okay. So I'm going to read you what the Business Insider basically summarized about this woman. In 2012, California-based Christian blogger and mother of two, Amanda Christine Riley, started Lymphoma Can Suck It, a since-archived blog documenting her journey after being diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in her late 20s. She used this blog and social media to publicize her journey with aggressive form of cancer,

winning over sympathy from friends, strangers, and even celebrities who gave money to her for medical treatments. The only problem is, is that Riley did not have cancer. She is now 38, never had any cancer treatments because she never had the disease. And according to a criminal complaint filed by the IRS, in 2020, she had used the ruse of the illness to basically scam people out of thousands and thousands of dollars. So Riley is the subject of Charlie Webster's

hit podcast, Scamanda, which exposes Riley's web of lies with the help of Riley's victims, journalists, and law enforcement who worked on the case. That's the most insane. I mean, I don't understand going to those types of lengths or depths to lot. What was the purpose? The attention, the funds? Ma'am, this woman, and I understand, probably doesn't mean anything

because anybody can be a scammer, and I don't want to put more pressure on teachers or principals, but this woman was a former teacher and principal. She was a part of a mega church, and it was said that LeAnn Rimes donated money to her as well. So like she was she was scamming people like of celebrity status.

Well, so we get tagged. I don't know if you've ever noticed especially on TikTok. I have controls on certain tags for Instagram. I get tagged in like GoFundMe's and fundraisers and like things like that on TikTok a lot, like almost daily. And I have helped out a few, but I do like to like read the full story, see if they have other donations,

see who else is posting because you don't know what is a scam and what isn't. And obviously at the end of the day, whether I choose to donate or not, I know that in my heart I did the right thing and I had good intentions. So what that person does is their karma, not mine. I'm just always so leery of GoFundMe's

because there have been so many scams that have been linked to GoFundMe. And it's sad that there are people that do have GoFundMe accounts that have good intention or are in need of help and they get a bad name because of people like this woman. So it says that she actually was charged with fraud. It says that the charges were brought against her in July 2020 were related to financial crimes associated with a scheme to solicit donations from individuals to help her pay for cancer treatments that she never needed nor received. And that was according to the Department of Justice.

The criminal complaint was actually filed by the IRS and she ended up pleading guilty to wire fraud. She was ordered to pay restitution in the amount of $105,513 and sentenced to 60 months in prison. The case made IRS history for being the first financial conviction of someone who faked cancer for fundraising purposes, and that was according to the podcast. So since then, Deadline reported that this Scamanda docu-series based on podcast was set for fall at ABC. So they have ordered a docu-series based on this podcast.

I will 100% be watching that but I can stop you because I just recently started to go find meMe for friends of ours. And that was one of the things like when I realized that there were some struggles financially, I was apprehensive to start the GoFundMe for them because I didn't want it to come back on either of us as if we were scamming anyone. So and it made me really sad because it's like, I know how good of people they are and I know what they're going through. And so it made me really sad because I'm like,

what if this really, they can't get the help and there is no one willing to donate because of the bad name that, the bad rap that GoFundMe's get, you know? I feel like GoFundMe's should be specifically for people who are in such need that it is like this last ditch effort that they have for survival purposes, right? Or if you're trying to contribute to someone's journey with cancer, for example, like my girlfriend, Katie, not Katie, not Katie Herald, my friend Katie who's local. I've updated her story on the Southern Tea, but I haven't been able to tell you yet, but she went in to have cancer or her chemo treatment, the first one, and they had staged her at stage three and the doctor had ordered stage four cancer medication,

or stage four chemo drugs, and the insurance wouldn't approve it because the stage that they ordered was wrong. And so by that evening, she was actually transported by ambulance to our local hospital, and they found it in her liver, lungs, and bones, and lymph nodes. And so for those reasons

alone, they have a five-year-old daughter who's set to start kindergarten and she was going to homeschool her. And now her husband is not able to get any work hours because he has to stay at home with the little girl, but also Katie can't be by herself right now. So FMLA only pays you a portion. It's not your whole pay. And then, and then what do you do when the FMLA runs out and then you still have stuff going on and insurance doesn't approve stuff.

Oh, FMLA doesn't pay. Right. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. FMLA will give you leave, but then you have to go. Yeah. And so it's just, it's one of those things where at first I truly didn't understand. Like I was like, Oh, if they had insurance. But I didn't realize that so many people are fighting with insurance companies about claims, which is absolutely

insane to me because you can pay every month. And we've talked about this before before, you can pay insurance every single month and never have anything for 10 years. So you truly could have paid for that treatment or whatever you needed for that time. You truly paid for it 10 times over and they still will argue with you about why they can't cover it and that just doesn't make sense to me. But until I recently, within the last two, three years, really realized how it all works. I understand now how the hardships still happen like co pays themselves. I mean, if you're paying $75 every fucking copay and you have multiple appointments in a week like my friend Bridget, she's getting

treatments five and six times a week. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's absolutely horrible. And so I also had like a pit in my stomach to post the GoFundMe because I never want anybody to think, oh, this is like associated with a scam or whatever, like I can attest that it's not a scam, they're truly hurting financially, and she's fighting for her life. So for those reasons alone, I posted the GoFundMe because I want them to be able to get help from other generous people who have it to be able to offer. But

when you see situations like this with Skamanda, who completely just made up a cancer diagnosis for the intents and purposes of getting donations for just to be able to live and do whatever like she went through great lengths and I encourage you guys before this show comes on, on ABC, it's set to air in the fall on Wednesdays. They have not set a release date on when it will actually start airing, but it's gonna be Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on ABC.

I suggest that you guys go and listen to this podcast. I am going to be Wednesdays at 10 PM on ABC. I suggest that you guys go and listen to this podcast. I am going to be listening to this podcast and I don't even listen to podcasts because I want to know all the intricate details before I watch this show. This woman went through such great lengths that she shaved her head to look like a cancer patient. But here's my thing.

If you have the dedication, discipline and determination to do to go to these great lengths for a scam, imagine putting that time and effort into an actual career. Like imagine, and I know that you wouldn't necessarily make $100,000 that year, but like those lengths that you're willing to go, a company would love that. Like imagine how far you are starting a a business like you could have start a business with that Dedication will hire you literally like we we will hire you Any person is that dedicated and has that much time that they can put that much effort into something?

You can put that much effort into a lie. You can put that much effort into good all I've got to say on that We can move on I just cannot that All I've got to say on that we can move on. I just cannot. That's, I've never heard of this woman. All right, let's talk about health for a second because the CDC estimates that there are approximately 96 million American adults. That's more than one in three that have pre-diabetes. Of those with pre-diabetes, more than 80% don't know they have it. You're probably asking why am I telling you this, right? Like why does it matter? But foods high in carbohydrates raise blood sugars more than other foods. So during digestion, the pancreas produces insulin, which then binds the sugar in

the blood and takes it to the cells as a source of energy. If you have pre-diabetes, sugar begins to build up in the bloodstream rather than use it to fuel the cells. And this is when insulin resistance occurs, which is believed to be the number one cause of pre-diabetes. I have insulin resistance it's not a great thing and with Cygnus you can literally see which food caused your blood sugar to spike above reasonable levels and get real-time alerts to do a bit of exercise to bring them back down. So that's incredible. 89% of members of Cygnus report losing weight in the first month and members report losing seven and a half percent of their body weight in 180 days. So these are big big results and Cygnus removed the guesswork out of weight loss for you guys and provided us with the tools and knowledge that we need to develop healthier habits. It combines glucose data

from the CGM or the continuous glucose monitor with an AI driven app to deliver real-time glucose insights for optimal health and weight management. Right now, Signos has an offer exclusively for our listeners. Go to signos.com. That's S-I-G-N-O-S dot com and get up to 20% off select plans by using code coffee today. That's signos.com and use code coffee to get up to 20% off select plans for you today. Okay, wait, I need to talk to you about something that is me and Jackson. I grew up an only child, right? And Jackson's an only child. So I came across this video of an only child speaking about advice on only children.

And I thought it was interesting because he says three things and I'm going to summarize the video so that you guys can watch it. But you also don't have to. He says three things. The third one is the most difficult and the most important. The first one is raise them around extended family, especially cousins. A lot of child development comes through their peers,

but specifically siblings. So I see it in my toddlers and my infants. When my kids are being loud and crazy, I mean, their eyes are glued to whatever is going on because they're taking it all in, right? So that made sense to me. He notes that living in community with people their age and how important that is verbally, but also physically seeing lessons kind of play out.

He says that's really important. Spending time with allies that are not superiors, like your parents, is important because being an only child is so isolating. And I wrote in my notes that I could 100% agree to that as someone who was not raised around cousins at all and also was very isolated. I agree. So I said, I'm more angry with my mom now

about not at least leaving me with my cousins. So she would just kind of leave me wherever, a lot of times home alone, or if a friend would take me in, that's where she left me, or my grandparents who didn't have any other grandkids at the time. So I'm upset because I had cousins that were my age, but she never left me with them. So that's upsetting.

And I think that it could have been less awkward. I would have been less awkward and introverted if I had been raised around my cousins and my peers, you know, when I was younger. So number two, he says, is that I'm not your little friend energy. And I think it's a lot bigger in the South. I know it's big up here, but it's, you know, the adults are always like, I'm not your little friend. And he basically is saying that when you have an only child, that gets should get bent a little bit because they don't have an only child does not have another person to learn from and to kind of just like be around in that community setting. And so he says that there's no points of reference for the child. So the parent has to be the

friend and the parent and it'll humanize the parents for the only child because they feel connected to that person, that parent. And then the third thing that he says is the most important, the most difficult is that the only child is both the golden child and the problem child at the same time all the time. And so it's important for the parents to not overreact about certain things because it's your only child. And it's easy to be overdramatic because the parents themselves don't have any context or point of reference, which is the same thing for the only child. They don't have any points of reference for siblings

and younger cousins if they're not around. And the parent doesn't have any other context because this is their only child. So I thought that was really interesting. He says that this can also create a complex because the child can go from being the best kid and praised kid to being knocked off their pedestal in 2.5 seconds.

And I absolutely love this advice. I absolutely loved this video. And for me, everything that he said was spot on. I do feel like I could have had an easier childhood in some ways if I was raised around my cousins and my peers, if my mom, you know, if she was healthy, if she would have been my friend and my parent, because my mom, you know, if she was healthy, if she would have been my friend and my parent, because I feel like that's such a weird, like I tell

my kids all the time, like, I'm not your friend. Like, don't come to me thinking that I'm your friend and I'm going to let this slide. Like, I'm your parent first. But I also, even though they're not only children, I do feel like, especially with Isaac, like I'm more, I'm starting to see the side where I could be his friend second. Does that make sense? I totally get that. And I'm so glad that you brought this up. You can very much relate to Jackson.

I can't because I had so many siblings. And even when, so when my dad remarried, he immediately, they immediately started having other children. So it was me and then Kyle's 15 months younger than me. Chase is seven years under me. Savannah's eight years under me. And then Grayson and I are 17 years apart. So there was a lot of us, right?

And you do learn so much, even as an older sibling, you do learn so much just from having younger siblings around, right? And you're feeding off of each other and you're constantly having interaction with only children, that's completely gone unless you have a play date or like what you're saying, cousins that they're interacting with on a regular basis, which is why I am so much an advocate

for Jackson having relationships with Will's parents. He's always had relationships with Will's parents, but Will regularly takes Jackson over to the lake on his weeks in the summertime so that he can work. And his parents are also there, so they kind of help with Jackson. So it's good for him to have that interaction. But then Will also has cousins that have children

that are close in proximity of age as Jackson. So it's good for him to have those interactions and those relationships. Those are relationships that are so important in an only child's life because they don't have anybody else. And there is a very fine line with a friend and a parent when you have an only child, because they don't have that interaction.

Like if you tell your kids go upstairs and play, they're going upstairs and playing with each other. And if they're not playing with each other, they're coplaying to some degree. Yeah. Him, if he goes upstairs, right now he's upstairs babysitting Oliver. Is he home? He's been so quiet. right now he's upstairs babysitting Oliver. Is he home? He's been so quiet. Yeah, he's home. Um, but he does not have that on a daily basis.

And so that's why I feel like so many of my mom friends who have lots of kids, they're like, how do you take him to do all of this stuff every single week? Like y'all are going bowling or you're going to the arcade or you know, you're taking them on a day trip or something. Because I have to think of those things because he doesn't have anybody else to interact with. Yes. So you are acting as the parent and then secondly, the friend and I think that you, you probably have to work a little bit harder at that or it has to be a little bit different than me

doing it because I don't have that same those same struggles. I mean, even when the rest of the kids are with their dads, my three kids here are with each other. And it's really interesting. I don't I think before I got to this big age that I am now, I was so against only children. And obviously, I'm not including the people that have fertility issues. So please don't take offense to what I'm about to say. But I was so anti-only child because I hated it growing up. And I literally hate, like I would cry and beg for my mom to have another baby just so that I could love on someone and have that, like, I don't know. But now I see certain people only be one and done. Like that's all they want.

And that's okay. Like I think that that's all they want and that's okay. Like I think that that's whatever you decide is what you decide. And now I'm able to kind of have some more awareness about only children. And there is like a, not a right way to do it but I think that there's a way to make it the best of both worlds where you have an only child

and you're fulfilled, but you're also fulfilling the only child in a way like you're describing as like going to do, you might go get to do more activities than you know, maybe somebody that has lots of kids like I just took some of my kids to the movies the other day, but we can't do that regularly. That's not something that we can do on a consistent basis. It's kind of like as it fits into our schedule. But also like if I was to only have had Isaac, I don't have any siblings that have kids. I mean, I have my sister who has a kid in Texas. That's kind of irrelevant. But I don't have a bunch of people that would, you know what I mean?

Like it wouldn't have been the same, but I could see where maybe they have a niece or you have Chloe that's the same age as Jackson. That could have been really beneficial because you've got your only child. You've got the child that you wanted, you're fulfilled, but he's also fulfilled because he could have had like a little built in bestie.

You know what I mean? That's his cousin. So I feel like there's a way to do it. And if not close family, maybe you have like really good friends that have multiple kids. Like one of my really good friends, she's here almost every day and she has four kids.

So if I only had one child, that could work out. Cause I mean, they call each other cousins. You know what I mean? Well, and to your point about being put on a pedestal and then being you know Knocked down or however you put it That is so true and will and I have to have conversations about this all the time because the expectation that we have sometimes is We might compare him sometimes is we might compare him unintentionally to another child that is his same age that might have an older sibling. And so that's not even a fair comparison because he doesn't

have that interaction. So to compare something, it needs to be similar. So if we're going to compare him to something, it has to be to another only child. Agreed. I would agree with that. You know, like I couldn't compare mine to one of your boys because... No, because I mean, I have noticed too, like, not in terms of like just development, but I'm talking about like personality. I see probably Lincoln and Lux in Jackson, like some of the qualities that I've noted. So you can't compare, I would not think that you could compare an only child

to several children, I just don't. I agree. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. You guys know that Lindsay and I talk about therapy all the time and the same is going to be said today. I absolutely love therapy and I know that Lindsay is on her therapy journey as well. You guys don't have to go through some life-changing trauma to need therapy. It's

really good to start with therapy when nothing is going on because you get the tools for when things do go awry. So I highly suggest checking out BetterHelp because you are able to do everything entirely online. So if your kids are at practice and you're sitting in the parking lot waiting for them, you can prop your phone up and do therapy. You can do it at home when you could do therapy at home, you can do it at work on your lunch break, you make it work for you. And I absolutely love it.

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definitely shopped around for therapists before. It's like, you know, maybe one is good, but not necessarily the right fit for me. And all you have to do is just switch them out. So stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash coffee today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash coffee. What is this thing that you want to talk to me about about noodling? I've never heard of this in my entire life. Okay. First, let me start by saying, I have Matt, my friend Matt is coming here to go crabbing and we are going to go crabbing

with my friend. Do you know what crabbing is? No. So crabbing is when like you get on a boat and you have like these nets and stuff and you go crabbing and you collect the crabs so that people can eat the crabs. Oh no, I didn't know that. I've never done it in my life. I just know what it is because it's really popular here to do crabbing and things like I don't

eat seafood, but other people do. So I have him coming here, we're gonna go crabbing with my friend Jerry, right? So he's on the Dude Dads podcast. And he shows me this activity, if you will, called noodling. And I've never heard of this never seen this. So Jerry sends me this account of this woman who goes noodling. And I want you to open this video while on the video. Because he tells me he's gonna go noodling.

And I immediately send to Matt and I'm like, maybe we need to go noodling instead. I was blown away because I'm like, what in the fuck, like me and Lindsay need to go noodling. Wait, can I come and do this? You absolutely can. But where does noodling take place? Like I'm so lost.

In a swamp. I don't even know, do what? In the water. But a swamp? So you go into the water and you go into these like to get catfish and you you scoop them up with your hand and they're these fucking big ass catfish and you're scooping them up and this woman is so badass. She's got to be like smaller than me but stronger than me and she's fucking noodling in the water and grabbing these fucking

big ass catfish. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. Why are we not just catching these like normal, like go fishing and reel it in? Like, what is the deal here? Oh dear God. Okay, hold on. Okay, this girl is small. That's not it.

Just wait. She's noodling right now. Wait, how did she get it so fast? I don't know. I do not know. I don't fucking know. Wait, how did she get it so fast? I don't know. I do not know. I don't fucking know. Wait, there's an old grandma on there. They're a noodling fam.

Are we gonna do this? We need to do this. I don't know where we do this. She lives in the South, I think. I think she might live in like Tennessee or something. But I feel like we should also, here, let me find a better video. I feel like that's something people in Louisiana would do.

Oh, 100%. Like in the Bayou it's called bayou bayou what is that isn't that like a Louisiana place okay wait I just sent a different video go play this one should we go noodling yeah when are we doing it I don't know well that's not the answer Matt's coming in August so if you want to come we should but we but if we're gonna have to go to the south then I guess I'd have to come to you. Yeah but we should just contact her. There's no way to like noodle in Georgia. No I'm gonna look up where she lives. She lives in Alabama. Okay so let's go to Alabama. We're gonna have to rent a boat. Wait a minute hold on. It's noodling and the whole concept with that is catching catfish with your hands.

And the way you do it is when they're spawning or laying their eggs, they're protecting their nesting area and they're laying their eggs anywhere that sunlight can't get to. We put out boxes because a lot of the natural holes have a lot of competition now that noodling has got more popular.

So we build these, they don't have a bottom. That way the fish can get in there and fan it out. So you'll step over in the hole because you've got to block it there. They can get out and they're gonna try to push your legs out of the way to get out sometimes. And I will keep one leg in the hole and then run my arm off in there to try to get close to them. And the fish will be protecting their nesting area so they're gonna attack whatever you put in there. Sometimes they'll bite you on your foot when you on your foot

when you stick your foot in the hole. And we'll always go in with our hand and a fist, so they'll bite it instead of getting one individual finger and twisting and potentially breaking it. Once they stop, grab the bottom jaw, get another hand on him, bring him out the hole. Appreciate y'all. So there you have it.

That's the full explanation of noodling. We have to rent a truck. We have one. Wait, you have one? Yes. Elijah drives a country boy. What is it called? A high country.

Can we go noodling in Delaware? Probably. I don't know anything about it though. I feel like we should hook up with this girl and go see if she can take us noodling. Yeah, I wanna find out who she is. But if something bites me, I'm the fuck out. I'm not. I'm in. I'm ready to go. Buckle up. But what if it hurts you? Like you're on a boat. You can't get anywhere.

It's okay. Okay. Well, when are you scheduling it? You got to ask. I just, oh my God, I just gushed a little blood. You have so much fun with that. No, Kristen's coming with. You can be on the- Kristen's actually videoing us. Yeah.

And you can be on the paddleboard next to us while I like scoop up this thing in a box. Yeah. You're going to be the scooper. I don't think I know. I think her name is Hannah. Hold on. Let me look. Okay.

Let's contact her. I want to go do it just to say that we did it. No, we have to do this. I want to get into six schizophrenic brothers. Six? When I tell you, ma'am, the level of invested that I was, like there are some documentaries that I'm like, okay, I can watch an episode here

and then go and do whatever I need to do and then pick it. No, no, no, no, no. I watched from the beginning until the end in one sitting. Yeah. So I'll be honest with you guys and Lindsay, you included. I never really knew a whole lot about schizophrenia. I didn't know that it gets diagnosed between 17 and 24. I had no idea. I thought it was something that you were kind of born with and that's pretty much it. If you watch the Dacu series

in its entirety, you learn that they actually have done research and studies show that there's more than one gene that is linked to schizophrenia, but there's also still ongoing research about what exactly triggers the schizophrenia. Because you may have the gene for it, but never present as schizophrenic or a trauma could happen that does in fact trigger the schizophrenia. So that makes total sense to me with this family and the situation, because I do believe that possibly some of the older siblings that were experiencing

some of these like schizophrenic traits and stuff, maybe some of the younger ones wouldn't have had that triggered had the older ones not. So that's interesting that you say that. Let me, I want to say this because I don't want to forget the thought. When the surviving siblings that do not have schizophrenia were talking in this documentary and they're listing off the reasons why it was triggered in some of their other siblings. I noticed that one thing that none of them mentioned was the trauma, because they were listing off the traumas on what could have caused this or what could have triggered it.

Not one of the surviving siblings mentioned the trauma of watching the older affected siblings, the older ill siblings, and the impact that that would have or could have had on the younger siblings. Not one of them did. They said, especially for the youngest brother, Peter, he was there and witnessed his father's entire stroke. And that is trauma, right? Like that very well could have triggered it. But he also was the youngest brother and he was the youngest brother of 10 brothers, but also number 10 in 12 children

and watched all of this occur. And five siblings also had schizophrenia. That's trauma in and of itself and that's reoccurring. That's CPTSD. So that's not even just regular PTSD. So to me, that is a trauma in and of itself. So if anyone has not seen this or heard of this, this is a family of 12 children, 10 boys, two girls, the two girls being the final two babies. Out of this 12 children, six brothers get schizophrenia. And it's kind of just going into the family dynamic and how all of this kind of came about. And with that being said, it did not go in order. So it wasn't the first six brothers. It wasn't the last six brothers. It was kind

of sporadic, which I thought was really interesting. And if you watch all the way into the end, the schizophrenia very much affects all six of them very, very differently. I would not have, I couldn't have compared any of their schizophrenia to the other one. Agreed. Agreed. It was, it all presented very differently from what I watched. And if you guys want to watch this, you can stream it on HBO Max. It was a four part series that chronicles psychosis, murder, suicide, and incest that interlaced the lives of the family. They were the Galvans.

This family lived in Colorado Springs. And the same town where Jan Bonet-Rsey, that case was in Boulder, Colorado. And there was also a book that was written about this family. The author is a New York Times bestselling author. It came out in 2020 called Hidden Valley Road. And what I found to be very interesting was that the sister has come out since this docu series has been on HBO Max and said that horror sells and that she felt like that some of the stuff was not relayed correctly or as she remembers it.

Oh. Yeah. Margaret or Mary? Mary, the one that was on it. I can't remember. Rock or- Yeah, that's Mary. Mary.

Yeah. She said that the series misrepresents what happened. And she said that she felt that the docu-series portrayed her parents as monsters. However, they were the kindest, most highly educated parents in the world, and that the series also misrepresents schizophrenia grossly. She also stated that it had criminalized and stigmatized what was already an uphill battle for all families dealing with this and it contributed to the problem and did not alleviate it.

And she just felt like it was very embarrassing for her family and the world of mental health awareness for this to have happened. Us being on reality TV, I can understand her feelings and her frustrations about that. Personally, for me, I don't feel the same way. I never looked at her parents,

I don't look at her parents as monsters. I think that they obviously wanted to upkeep a certain image, but that was kind of in the back of my mind. I think overall, her mom worked really hard to, she wanted to help her own kids. Like I think that that was part of it. And I think that she thought that maybe it was like a temporary thing that they could

potentially grow through or, or kind of grow out of. I never looked at them as monsters at all. I really didn't. One thing that I really respect about this family is their contribution to scientific research because it stated that it has provided significant breakthroughs in understanding schizophrenia. And so I think as horrible it is for them to have to live it, the fact that they were willing to contribute to scientific research for other people who are dealing with it is amazing. scientific research for other people who are dealing with it is amazing. Coffee Combos podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking.

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between June, 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. It opened my eyes a lot to schizophrenia. I am inclined to believe that it and agree with one of the scientists that was on the docuseries that talks about schizophrenia being triggered as nature and nurture, just like anything else in life. And it's really interesting that out of all six of the brothers, they were all diagnosed at very different ages, but that the parents did start recognizing the signs even though they were very different from each other. And I am just blown away because I guess like, you know how, have you ever experienced someone that you're like, is that drugs or is that mental illness?

Like have you ever like, have you ever seen anyone on the street and you're like, I don't know if they're strung out or if it's schizophrenic. And I had that conversation with Kristen and Kristen was like, oh, I always like, I always know if it's, you know, one or like one or the other. And I never really did and I never really did I never really did a whole lot of research into I just truly thought that you were born with it and there's nothing else I am so interested because You know the siblings talked about Jim brother number two never really showing the signs of

Schizophrenia and they were not really sure They didn't even know that he had schizophrenia. And so it was managed in a way that he was medicated. Is there a world where schizophrenia can be kind of at, not at bay, but managed and medicated and so that you can live a fairly normal life? Or is it all this severe because all of the siblings, the Galvan siblings that have schizophrenia are very much very affected. Like none of them could have lived a normal life. One of them killed his girlfriend and himself. One of them, well, and let's not, one of them sexually abused his sister and several of them were abused by a priest.

So there was just like a lot of factors. And I do have to wonder too, and I'm talking in circles a little bit and all over the place, but if the older two, if Donald, the brother number one, and Jim brother number two, were not molested by the priest,

is it possible that their schizophrenia could have never been, might not have ever been triggered? Because they already had the dream, they already had the gene, right? So that's nature. They came to life with the gene. But who's to say the rest of the siblings don't have the gene as well, but we're not affected in the same way? Those two alone, the first two brothers themselves had significant issues. Is it possible that they could have just carried the gene and not been triggered?

I mean, I think anything is a possibility. And they say that, what do they call it? Adverse childhood experience or whatever by a certain age can trigger other things in your adult life. So I'm just wondering also if that could have had something to do with it. I don't really know what was so interesting to me though, was the brothers who were diagnosed with schizophrenia, how thrilled they were to participate in this documentary.

They were what? It's it's been said in write ups with like different interviews that they were thrilled to participate in the documentary and that they had wanted the opportunity to be able to speak about how the mental health system in this country and world is so broken and that no one cares for these people with these types of problems. And oftentimes with these types of diagnosis or a lack of diagnosis, but with this disease, that a lot of these people are ultimately housed on the streets and in prisons because

of this. And you and I have had conversations about mental health and people, you know, making these decisions based off of, you know, whether they be schizophrenic or whatever, and then they end up in a prison system and they don't get the help they need. That's why you have the recidivism rate that we have in this country. I guess what I'm still unsure about is when you have people with schizophrenia that are like Donald or some of the other siblings, the Galvan siblings who are absolutely refusing to take their meds or don't think that they're ill or whatever the case may be and they can't be medicated, they are essentially forced the case may be and they can't be medicated,

they are essentially forced out on the streets because they can't keep a job, they don't have anywhere to go, they're very unpredictable and so that's how they end up, I feel like, homeless and things like that, right? If they end up in a facility or whatever, are those the cases that really don't have any, you know, healthy prognoses? Like they can't get the help and really don't have any, you know, healthy prognoses, like they can't get

the help and they don't, they really can't be someone who, they really can't be like a productive member of society because they are beyond able to get the meds that they need or is there a way that where they can get medicated where they can be functioning because from what we've seen, none of them were functioning. I mean, functioning, but you get what I'm trying to say. Yes, I do. And back to your comment about the priest. Mary had later said in an interview that her parents were actually unaware of that abuse

to her brothers until one of them was in their 50s. Yeah. Donald told the mother. Also, I wanna make a comment too about them having 12 kids, them being again, another family that's very well-to-do, sort of like when we talked about Jens and Elizabeth in Till Murder Do Us Part,

they both came from very, very well-to-do families. The same situation here, the Galvin family was very involved in the community and society and the Air Force and the father, Dr. Galvin, he ended up getting his doctorate after all 12 of his, like around the time all 12 of his children were born. So I feel like that is like to me, I would also say that they came from a really very well-to-do family. All of the kids went to college in some capacity that is described. I think one of them might have dropped out or two of them might have dropped out, but out of 12 kids, they were all

going to college. Again, very well-to-do family. I don't understand the parts where, and I don't think she's a monster. I think that she was truly doing the best she could, the mom, Mimi. When the family friends reached out to take Margaret, which was child number 11 out of 12, they took in Margaret, essentially like were caring for her. I don't know if they ever officially adopted her. Why did they not take Mary as well? I don't know. I was just having a conversation with my mom yesterday about this girl that we know that her parents gave her up and kept another sibling and They're very close in age Yes, like like within a year born of each other like almost Irish twins

And the parents kept one and gave the other one away the same situation with Margaret and Mary They were like less than two years apart. I think so. How do you make that decision? They were like less than two years apart, I think. So how do you make that decision? And why? The way that Mary described it was that the family that was very wealthy called and was like, how can we help? And she was like, I don't know.

She's in tears, she's upset. And they said, let us take Margaret off your hands. Well, why did they not take Mary? I don't understand why you're allowing one child to be removed from the situation. And the whole time I was watching the obviously hindsight is always 2020 and I'm not blaming Mary's parents. But if that was me in my situation, I feel like I wouldn't want to subject the younger kids to it. So I mean, kudos to them for staying married as long as they think they were married the entire time, the parents,

but wouldn't you have wanted the rest of the younger kids to run that same market? It's hard to say as a parent what we would do in another parent's situation, right? Because we're not living it, but I would venture out to say if that was my situation and I have 12 kids and I had children who had all of these issues that were presenting in different

ways, whatever, and I continued to have children, I would be inclined to say that I would remove those other children as hard as it would be for me on my heart and on my soul to remove them. It would be the best thing for them. Agreed. Also, I thought it was interesting. And again, I don't think the parents are monsters. I just wish I could understand the logic. Mary says that in this house, both daughters, Mary and Margaret, had their own rooms. And the boys were all stacked up in bunk beds in all the other rooms. And so instead of having the two girls share a room, which I feel like would be pretty

normal to free up a third room so that the other rooms weren't so crowded. I wonder if that would have made a difference at all. And I only say that because I do think that some of these kids potentially could have not suffered from schizophrenia in this way if things were done a little bit different, if it is in fact nurture and nature. But like you said, hindsight's 20-20. And I'm sure if they had to go back and rethink and redo, they probably would have done a lot of things different just like us as parents living relatively normal lives.

You can say tomorrow when you wake up, like I wish I would have addressed that situation with my child a little bit differently and now I feel like shit. Like I'm sure they have gone through and walked through that process, but to your point, when you have troubled children, putting them in an environment altogether like that,

I would be inclined to believe that they would feed off of each other. Yeah, I mean, just like in everyday life, we pick up characteristics of people that are around us or pick up mannerisms or certain things like that. I think it would just perpetuate that. I would be really curious to hear from Margaret today, like what she thinks of the situation because she was removed

pretty early on, what that looked like. I also felt really bad for it was, hold on, let me think of the lineup, because there was 12 kids. So it wasn't John. John was number three. I'm thinking of possibly Richard or it was the one that was bald that said that like he's so far removed from the family. Like he got out either number six or number eight child. He was affected so severely by his siblings with schizophrenia because he had the older brother on, you know, his older brother directly above him and both younger brothers, Peter and Matthew directly under him that were affected so severely with schizophrenia. And then you have to think about the age gap between him and his younger sisters.

They were toddlers. They were tiny. And then the older brothers were either out of the house or already affected by schizophrenia. So I almost felt the worst for him because Anne-Marie, because she had to see all of it and she stayed in the house for all of it. I felt so bad for him. How also do you feel about the fact that the surviving brothers that do not suffer from schizophrenia, do not help Mary care for the schizophrenic brothers? I think it's hard to say unless't living in that house and experiencing certain childhood traumas and stuff. So maybe the disconnect is the best way for them to respect

themselves and also show love with knowing that they can't support them or have anything to do with them. I feel like I would never be able to just put that burden on one person. That's a very big burden to carry. And if I was her, I would be resentful. And I think she is, and she has every right. I do understand them not wanting any parts of it, though, too. It's not your responsibility for your siblings to care for you at any point in your life. I mean, obviously, it's heartbreaking, but that's not an obligation that, you know,

everyone is willing to take on or willing to do. But one of the brothers specifically said, like, he doesn't see a point in having any type of relationship with his brothers that have schizophrenia because they he doesn't see a point, which it's like not a relationship. Right. Which I think just goes to prove how severely affected they are. It is absolutely heartbreaking because in real life, if everyone treated people with schizophrenia like that,

I also cannot imagine or wrap my head around the trauma that is knowing your sibling for X amount of years for one of the brothers didn't get diagnosed with schizophrenia until 24 years old. So the idea of like knowing a person this way for this long and was able to essentially either not have symptoms or mask it up until this point. And then all of a sudden you flip a switch and they're schizophrenic. I cannot imagine what that would be like to see that not once, twice, three times, four

times, five times, six times. You know, someone, I mean, John was talking about his experience with, I believe it was Brian, they went to college for a semester together and were really close. Like that was one of his favorite brothers, like the most close siblings. And then to a year later, he's schizophrenic. I couldn't even imagine what that that would feel like. And each time that it happened would, I would feel would be like a more severe trauma. I'm still upset about splitting up the sisters though. I'm really upset about upset about that. Yes. If you guys have not watched this, highly recommend, but definitely don't sit down to watch it

until you're ready to watch like all of the parts because you're gonna be hooked. Outside of that, we have a couple of things from the Kitty Gang. And what is this shit that you have about Emma Stone? Oh, it's so little, but I just wanted to get your thoughts. So BuzzFeed wrote an article about Emma Stone interview with The Hollywood Reporter, where Emma Stone says that she would like to be called by her real name.

And Emma Stone is such a normal sounding name that I didn't ever actually know that her name is Emily Stone. And so what is the purpose of a stage name when your stage name is that close to your real name? I don't know. But I'm gonna say this, if I had to do it all over again, I would have gone by an alias. Really? Yeah. But you have but you're attached with a like a very like a pretty well known family. It's not like you would

be able to it's not like if we all did it again, I would be advocating like every single one of you fuckers are having a different name than what is your name? Okay, but what about Emma? Like, what the Emma Stone thing? I don't understand because it's so close. Because it's so close. Maybe, maybe for catchy purposes, like,

do you feel like Emma Stone sounds better than Emily Stone? I do. But that's because you know Emma Stone. If you only ever knew her as Emily Stone, you wouldn't think twice about it. I would just be like, oh, that's Emily. I also, it just doesn't make like, this goes back to the whole thing about like, when MTV was allowing Javi and Joe to go by Javi and Joe, those aren't their real names. That's never worked. And I always was Kalin and I didn't understand that. So like, you know what I mean? And so like, I tried to make like a transition publicly because I only wanted to be known as kale. And it was a lot harder for me.

But I wouldn't consider that a stage name. She's like what I go by but Emily Stone and Emma Stone. What is the perp? I don't, like Katy Perry, her name is not Katy Perry. Alicia Keys, her name is not Alicia Keys. And what are their names? Katy Perry's real name, hold on. I had no idea that wasn't her real name. Catherine Elizabeth Hudson.

Holy shit. Alicia Keys' real name is Alicia Cook, but Alicia Keys makes sense to me because she plays the piano. You know, yeah, like that makes sense to me. There's no significance to Emma versus Emily. I don't know. And maybe it's a way to like personally detach from your brand. Okay, but then if that's the case, then pick a whole like Katy Perry versus Catherine, whatever like that makes sense, but then if that's the case, then pick a whole like Katy Perry versus Catherine, whatever, like that makes sense.

But you're not able to detach there's not a hard line between Emma Stone and Emily Stone. So what is the purpose? Like if we could just be Brittany and Ashley on this podcast, we're Brittany and Ashley and we can go back to Kayla Lindsay off camera. Like that makes sense to me. Yes. But yes, that is a little weird that it's just like from Emily to Emma. Can someone give us some insight here? Because I, I need answers. Okay,

we have time for one person from the kitty gang that wrote in. This person says that they need advice, please. And I'm still confused after all of these years why people are seeking us to give them advice. My friend recently gave birth six weeks ago. She is doing it on her own. Dad wanted no part in it. She has had her parents for the first six weeks, but now they are gone home six hours flight away. She has been struggling a bit since they left. And baby boy

is not sleeping great and she's exhausted. I'm going around tomorrow after work to take her dinner and just sit with the baby so that she can shower etc too. What else can I do to help her if you are a single mom? What other what have others done to help? I don't have any kids yet currently pregnant so not sure. She doesn't have any family where we live so a few of her friends are her family. pregnant, so not sure. She doesn't have any family where we live, so a few of her friends are her family. Food dishes so she doesn't have to cook, exactly what you're doing, sitting with the baby so she can shower. Also, if there's a laundry service, if you don't want to do her laundry for her, maybe get her set up with a laundry service for like a month or a gift card, if you have the financial resources, obviously. To gift her like a month or like a gift card, if you have the financial resources, obviously, to gift her like

a laundry service for one or two weeks, that would be a huge help, especially because people don't realize like how tedious it is to wash baby clothes and just like the sheets and all the things, I would say a laundry service, meals, and giving her a chance to shower. Those are like the my biggest recommendations. I just remember so vividly how alone it felt being a stay at home mom. And while I was not a single mom at that stage of my life, having someone come like during the day where I could jump in the shower

and then just like sit with him or maybe wash bottles that were in my sink was such a relief. And I know that those sound like such small things to do. But when you're in the trenches, during that time, it feels so big and feels so overwhelming, that just those small little acts of things are great. I know one of my girlfriends, actually several of my girlfriends just had babies within the last six

months. And they all set up like meal trains for each other or set up like times for people to be able to come and literally for them to shower or something to just sit and watch the baby. And that was all on, what do they call it? Like signup genius? Yeah. They did like a signup genius.

And it's been a long time. There's also a website for like meal trains like that you can do like the meal train. Also, Lindsay taught me this trick when I was pregnant with either Lux or Creed. I can't remember. Having supplies by your bed to if they are formula fed to pre fill bottles and have a warmer or my kids just I do like, what is it called? I do room temp water like water bottles. Literally, this is so dumb, but like such a game changer when me and when Elijah and me first had the twins, we would fill up the

water level with room temp water and have the six bottles sitting on our nightstand. So all we had to do was put the formula in and you can, if you have just a singleton, you can use like the formula, um, like container that's already thing that's already, um, what is it called? Pre-portioned. Pre-portioned and have that next to your bed. You can do one of them or two of them, depending on how many times your baby wakes up.

Or if you do like the liquid formula, you can have the bottle warmer next to your bed. Such a game changer. It doesn't look pretty. It's not fucking cute. But I mean, in the beginning, motherhood never is. So that's what we always do. We have the bottles ready to go lined up pre-filled. So go ahead and pre-fill all her waters in the bottles, put them on her nightstand and then pre-portion the formula out. And that is a game changer. Obviously, if she breastfe. And that is a game changer. Obviously, if she breastfeeds, it's a different story. That's just something that I had to discover with Jackson, like preparing in advance so that I didn't have to be frustrated later. That is like the best advice I can give a new mom. Like nobody

wants to go and hunt down a bottle and squirt formula in your husband's face because he let the bottle sit in the warmer too long. Like I've been there, I've done it. Don't fucking do it to yourself. Yeah. Also just like trying to see in the dark, you're already tired. Just have it all set up in your bed. Even if it's a cart, you don't want to on your nightstand, you want a cart that works

too. That'll be a big help. And eventually it just becomes second nature and you notice yourself doing it in the middle of already doing it, it just becomes second nature. And my twins are eight months old and still wake up. And on that note, foul play. Foul play. Love the pod and you both. So here's an embarrassing yet very entertaining life event of mine that I encourage you to get a laugh out of When my daughter was about 14, we had a sleepover Halloween party for her girlfriends They were all like my own and I do anything for them the next day

They were all bringing the bedding out from her room to the laundry room I figured I'd get my butt in the shower and hope to have enough hot water to wash them all after The girls were all cuddled up watching Monsters Inc when I escaped I escaped from my shower halfway through washing my hair, I hear a loud thud. And almost as if they were wrestling. Yes, I live in a very old raised home walls are thin and bills are high. Thanks, LA. All of a sudden the bathroom door opens, we had no lock policy at the time and the girls are telling me my house is on fire. Yes, fire. I had already turned the water off to try and hear what the heck they're doing. So I ran out. Yep. Butt ass naked with shampoo in my hair. Can you say slippery?

I run ahead of them. As I turn the corner, I go sliding feet first through not only my dining room with the pile of bedding that caught fire from my hot water heater in the laundry room. I immediately yell for the girls to go out the front door. My laundry room has a door to my backyard and call 911. I open the back door, grab the bedding and toss it front door. My laundry room has a door to my backyard and call 911. I open the back door, grab the bedding and toss it outside. As I look back over, I see my wall is on fire. I run to the kitchen for a pitcher. Have you ever needed to fill one

as if your life depended on it? It couldn't go any slower, you guys. So I get a pan out too, and between the back and forth, putting the fire out on the wall, I stand there. I hear crackling as if it's still on fire, but it's not. And then I open my back door to see the hedges next to the walkway by the door are up in flames. I mean on freaking fire. So I ran outside. Mind you, I'm still naked. Still fucking naked. Could you imagine putting out

a fucking fire while you're naked? No, I could not. Oh my God. I would be mortified. Okay. so she says I get my garden hose and start hosing the hedges down. Once that's out, I hear sirens and think oh shit, I'm naked. So I run in and throw my white robe on I head back to the kitchen where a pitcher is full and waiting. So I take it out of I take it to the laundry room and literally go into shock. I'm just standing there full pitcher in hand shampoo in my hair with

my robe on these amazing looking firefighters come inside. I was shocked to the point that I just stood there full pitcher in hand shampoo in my hair with my robe on these amazing looking firefighters come inside. I was in shock to the point that I just stood there staring at the wall when they were telling me to get out. One of the guys put his hands in the pitcher and splash me with water to get me to come back. As I went outside, I checked on the girls who the EMTs already checked on. They sat me down on the wall near my driveway hooked me up to their gadgets and said I should go to the hospital. I have a heart condition that always makes my EKGs look abnormal. So that was nothing new to me. And I refused. I thanked them up and down and was looking forward to them coming back for their, for their industrial fans to air out the house.

You know, when I could be clothes with a little makeup on as I get up and walk around to the sidewalk, my neighbors are out asking questions. I tell the girls, let's go inside and start walking up to the front door when one of the girls says, are you on your period? I'm mortified. I bust out laughing. My white robe was now red and there was a neighbor or firefighter that I didn't know it. Oh wait, there wasn't a neighbor or firefighter that didn't know it. Needless to say, I wasn't home when they returned for their equipment. Goodbye. That story is absolutely mortifying. It's fine. First of all, the thoughts of a house catching fire

in any way when you look like shit or you're in the shower and something like that is happening, just absolutely not. Please, house, dear God, do not let my house ever catch on fire in that situation. Number two, if I started my period and someone saw it, that is likely one of my biggest fears of life. Literally.

Like have you ever been wearing like white shorts or something and you know that your period's about to start and you probably shouldn't be wearing them and you just like keep checking your crotch. Yeah, well I do that even when they're not white. Like I just, yeah, it's awful. Like it's just, it's not a thing. I'm glad that these children got out

and I'm glad that she got on her way, but good fucking God. Outside of that, we are going to be covering Stolen Youth Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence next week. So you guys can watch that on Hulu if you want to follow along. Just want to say thank you guys for always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast app, following right on Spotify or listening wherever you get your podcast. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us and our community.

We love you guys. Hope you have a great week and we'll talk to you soon. See ya. What if I told you that I just walked away from a wonderful and very high profile fitness brand to pursue bigger dreams? And I broke away from my own golden handcuffs to pursue a more artistic life. What's up? I'm Kendall Tool. And I'm Gaylee Alex. And we are so excited to share our new podcast,

Wholeheartedly with Kendall and Gaylee. The two of us have taken the uncharted path and felt we were at a great place or at least at a pivot point in our lives to share our biggest tragedies and triumphs. So that everyone here with us can learn from our battles, victories and our total f-ups. And that's from two people who have really been through it. Good Lord, yes. We're both still navigating life and we want you to come along on the journey

so we can stay in the fight to overcome whatever BS is thrown our way. It's not easy out here, but we'll be walking and talking with you through building careers, self-worth, relationships. Oh, and get some good laughs, please. Or tears, there's tears. That's true, there's always tears, that's true.

All with our hearts on the line. So if this sounds additive to your journey, we are here for you. Join us every week on Wholeheartedly with Kendall and Gaylee. Wholeheartedly will be available July 17th. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast.