Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley - Sir, Your Hangdang Sucks!

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

CC279: Starting today off HOT as Lindsie and Kail are disgusted by the idea of men sharing their partner's nudes with their friend group. Also, why are dick pics a thing? Who told men to take pictures of their schlongs thinking they were pretty to look at? WHO?! In other news, Kail is victimized by Lux once again, Lindsie is perplexed by pregnancy bodies, and do they have sex on their periods? Answers may vary.The Facebook group asks a question about moving on but the details are much different than usual.. Lindsie and Kail give their thoughts and experience. Lindsie also elaborates more on natural consequence parenting. Check out our Instagram @coffeeconvospodcast for more!  Thank you to our sponsors!Better Help: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/coffee today to get 10% off your first monthProgressive: Visit progressive.com to learn moreStarbucks: Starbucks Coffee, ready for right now. Shop the full line-up online or in-store, wherever you buy groceriesZocdoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/CONVOS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE

Today's episode is brought to you by Starbucks Ready to Drink Coffee. Tune in to Moments That Matter with the uplifting boost of Starbucks Mocha Frappatino chilled coffee drink available now online or wherever you buy your groceries. I hate gift giving and receiving. Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say thank you? This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsey Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels Kale. That does not interest me whatsoever.

I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore. There's a fakery bakery around here. Here's Kale and Lindsey. Good morning. Good morning Kale and Lowry. How are we?

Well, I'm getting better. I'm not as sick. Although when I blow my nose now it feels like my ears are draining. So I don't know if that's good or bad. Okay, well when I recorded for the Southern Tea this week, I don't know if people are going to think that I was like knocking on death's door. Or what? But like sounded so bad. And allergies are the strangest shit ever.

Because they'll be like really bad and then you'll wake up and they'll be okay. And then a couple hours later you're knocking on death's door again. I've never had allergies before so this is new for me. And Natalie told me I have to keep my bedroom window shut, which I'm very devastated about because I love a nice cool breeze at night. And she's like, you're letting all the pollen in. And if you're, if that's what these allergies are from, like you're just asking for it, I felt better and then.

No, no, no. You need to back up because no one that's normal during allergy season sleeps with their window open ever. It's like you do everything to possibly close every ounce of everything up. But I didn't ever have allergies. So this is new. No, but like what about this shit that's like pollinating everywhere? It's just, and like how does pollen even happen? It's just like flowers dropping fucking turds. No, I think it's like their reproductive stuff.

Yeah, like I don't want that jizz like on me. Did you notice that I'm back to my chodey nails? Yes, I did. We are back. And I love it. And my nail tech was like, are we going to do a full set next week? I'm like, mm-hmm. Okay, no. Did I ask you this about nail shape last week?

Okay, so first time ever, did I get like just round? I mean, don't look at this one because these two are fucked up. Okay. Just these two. Just these two. I don't know like how this happened, but these two are really messed up. I've filed them multiple times, you know, it's like when you get that little crack and you like try to file it down to make your manicure last longer.

Okay, so that's what's going on here. But I got round shape and I was so against it for like a long while because I was like, that means I'm old. Like you get round shape, you're turning into grandma era, and then you can never go back. I'm a definite like round with like square edges. Is that your shape too? No, I really like a sharp crisp sharp edges,

but my nails were so short. So like fangs? No, like straight, square, crispy, like I like sharp corners. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Because someone gets stabbed and like that's not a thing. It's got to be like round with like square rounded. Squoval.

Squoval. Yeah, it's like a squoval and I love that shape for a long time, but now I have, I'm not turning back. I'm around girly. Yeah. I do like long, I also have really fat fingers. And so round nails look better on my nails. And I think the first time I got round acrylics

was when I was at the marriage boot camp house and you can't leave that house for like 12 days. Like you literally don't go anywhere. They, if you want your spray tan, if you want nails, if you want your hair done, any of that, they have to come to the house. And so they got a nail tech for me. And she's like, I'm going to do round on you.

And that was like the first time I ever did it. And I actually really liked it, but I'm, I'm really loving my natural nails right now. Like I'm not going to go back to acrylic probably for a long time, if ever. But I have said that before. I didn't even know that acrylic was like still a thing, but so many people still do it.

I was like, okay, once like gel and SNS came out, I was like, okay, that's a thing. But there are a bunch of psychopaths and there might be some that are listening to this that go acrylic with like gel on top or like acrylic with SNS. That is so much like, Is SNS, what is SNS?

It's like that hard like powder shit that you like dip and then they like file and then you like dip and the powder. But we just call that dip. Okay. Well, whatever, SNS dip, that's just a lot. Like to, to think that I'm sitting there for the whole acrylic process, I haven't had an acrylic since I was in like high school. Yeah, I don't, I love my natural nails right now.

That's not a thing. But I do need to tell you that I was on a TikTok bender a minute ago before we started recording. Oh. And I saw this TikTok and it's something that I have thought about before. Okay. And I need to know your thoughts on it.

It was talking about, it was one of the Maori sisters. Like obviously if you were a sister, sister fan, like we'll always be a fan of them. Always. She was, it was one of them. And she was like, I saw on my husband's phone where his buddy had sent a photo of his girlfriend and like a bra and panties.

And she was drinking coffee, but she was like pose. It was something that she sent to him. And so then he forwarded it to her husband. Why? Because I guess guys like share. No. Nudes and stuff. Or like sexy photos.

No, if you're, if you're in a relationship of any kind and you know that your guy friend is married or in a relationship of any kind, what the fuck makes you, first of all, why are you sharing those photos of a woman regardless of relationship status without her fucking permission, let alone to somebody who's married or in a relationship? Okay. First of all, I'm like, if you're getting spank bank photos,

like that's for your spank bank, like not somebody else's. I would be so pissed if I sent a nude or like a suggestive photo and let's all not act like we haven't done it. If I did that and I found out that my boyfriend's friend who is a husband got a photo of this and my ass was residing on his phone. No, like I'm losing my mind. Oh, I would lose it. I would lose my fucking mind.

I just feel like that that is so inappropriate to do something like that. I don't want it to be on anybody's phone, but especially like a husband. That's so foul because it's basically misconduct of the woman who's picture it was, and then it's also just a true, you're truly showing your colors by sending it to a married man to anybody too. And so did she specify like what happened when she saw it and did it cause any waves in their marriage? Like how the hell?

Well, I'll post the TikTok whenever this airs for you guys to be able to see the rest of it, but it was just talking about how basically it made her feel uncomfortable. Like her husband should not be looking at a photo that someone else inappropriately sent him that was intended for his eyes only, like not for her husband. And I do think it's a betrayal. It's like you send that to somebody in confidence. It's like a two-way communication. This does not get become like a group text.

But it's also a betrayal not only to the woman first and foremost. It's also a betrayal to your friend's wife and their relationship. It shows how you feel about their relationship and their marriage. And frankly, the one that you're in, whether it be a relationship, a hookup, whatever, it shows that you have a lack of respect for the person that you're with. Yeah. Like I'm very alarmed by it. Like I don't like it at all.

But then it led me down another rabbit hole. And I was like, okay, well, what do you think about spank banks? And do you think that or would you rather you're like on a trip, you're guys, because you and I have had this conversation before, like why are you jacking off if I'm here? Yeah. Remember? Okay.

So would you rather, let's say like you're on a trip and you're gone for like 10 days and like they need to, they need to jerk it. They need to relieve themselves. They do. Mainly for me, because I don't want to deal with that person that has not relieved themselves. But would you rather them have a spank bank of all photos of you or jerk off to like a random? Me, of course me. I just don't know.

I'm just like, we know how I feel about porn, but I'm just like, if you really like start to think about it, it's like, what photo are they using? Like do you not like get in your head and you're like, well, like what are they thinking when they're looking at this photo and like specifically which one is it? And like what about it? The thing for me is like, if I was to self-pleasure, I can't look at a photo and get off. So like it's hard for me to think about a man just like scrolling through still images to get off. That's what I'm saying.

Like that feels really weird just thinking about it. It's like you really look at this one image and you can get off. Like that can't be right. That's just not, that's not normal. Um, I was actually having a conversation with somebody the other day and I was talking about how sexual experiences for me are much more than just sexual. It's like also like an emotional connection. Yes.

And I'm going to get nothing emotionally from a still image or or like dicks are ugly. Like dicks are ugly. Also, I'm never going to get like horny or like aroused off of a still image. It's just never going to happen for me. And I'm like it men are like horn balls. I feel like you could literally just like bump into a man with their with your shoulder and their, their dick is rock hard. It's like the Eiffel fucking tower.

Oh yeah. But that's, that now leads me to another question, like why are dick pics a thing? Like sir, they shouldn't be. No one told you that that looks good. I don't know like. Nobody said that that was a good idea to send. They're ugly. Like we get it.

You have your way down. You have one like clearly it works. I don't, but I don't want to see it. I don't need to get the photo of it. Like literally dicks are just ugly. They're just like weird objects. I mean, great, but like weird. Weird.

Yeah. Really fucking weird. And like, but like for women, women's bodies are pretty. Like they're pretty to look at, but men's like you're hanging sucks. Like it's just ugly. It's ugly. Coffee Combo's podcast is brought to you by better help. Lindsay and I definitely need therapy.

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sit in an uncomfortable waiting room. And that's one of the things that I love about BetterHelp is that it's just the convenience of it all. So you just have to fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash coffee today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help H-E-L-P.com slash coffee.

I cannot. Okay. Well, welcome to Coffee Homeless Podcast and good morning, everyone. What have you been doing? I've really just been hanging around. My pool is done and I'm so thankful for that. Now, the concrete is done. Shout out to Cabin Construction. Thank you guys so much.

I need to tell you that Lux, did I tell you that Lux walked in on me again? No, you missed that. My kids don't knock. I've said that a hundred times. Maybe they don't listen to me, but Chris, if you're listening, tell your kids to knock. He said, so I'm getting out of the shower. I'm drying off and Lux said, why do your boobs wiggle? Does everyone have boobs like that?

Well, whose other boobs has he seen? Like, I specifically need to know. Like, whose? Well, he said, does everyone's boobs wiggle? So he's like, mine don't wiggle and he looked down. Why do mine wiggle? I don't know. I don't fucking know.

Like, Lux, go somewhere. That's only something that Lux would say, truly. And, but like to say wiggle, like, why are you describing? Why, why is that hairy thing moving? Like leave me alone. He was sent to this earth to fucking humble me. Okay. So I was scrolling on TikTok also.

No, no, no, I got it. You got to back up. Okay. So you were just like, set the scene. All right. So I try to shower like if I have, if there's a moment of peace, like directly after dinner, but like not, not like bedtime, I'll try to shower really quick before the kids go to bed

because that way I'm not showering after I lay with Creed and I lay with Lux and I lay with Lincoln. So it's, you know, not 11 o'clock by the time I'm showering. So sometimes I'll get to shower before everyone goes to bed and he walks in probably going to show me some wrestlers or something. And I'm getting out, I'm drying off and like, I don't know. I'm a naked mom. It doesn't really matter to me, but like he really humbles me every fucking time.

And he's like looking at me and then looking at himself and then looking at me and he's like, why do your, why do your boobs wiggle? Like, why are they, does everyone have boobs that wiggle? And I'm like, can you please leave me alone? Like, this is why you knock because now you're starting to notice that I don't have a dingaling. Like I got some saggy baggies.

The saggy baggies. Imagine I tell my kid that. Yeah. Like this is, this is why we now have a knock rule. Like I understand that we didn't need to have it before, but at the point that you have now harassed me and told me about my cellulite, my hairy thing wiggling, my wiggly boobs, like we're done. We're done.

Like we're out. So and creep copies everything he says and does. So like if luck says it or does it, so does biggie. And like the last thing I need is for them both to harass me about the cellulite on my butt cheeks and my wiggly boobs. Like that is the last fucking thing I need them to do. Okay. So I was talking to somebody the other day about nipples and I don't remember mine changing like through pregnancy, but is that a thing?

Oh my God. Mine got so big and brown. They were, they literally took up my whole boob. But like, wait, no, no, no backup. Yeah. What did those things look like before? Like I have, my nipples are like a, like a Lolita. Like I don't know if you're familiar with that color.

It's like a dark, it's like a cat Von D. Yes. It's like a nice color. Right. And so that was like, and they were like an okay size. I never had like super cute petite nipples, but like they weren't like huge. And then when I got pregnant, I think especially with Lincoln and Lux, I'm talking they went from like, like cute, like decent size to like big brown nipples.

No, like, but what causes that? Like what makes it go that way? So I read and I'm not a doctor. So before anyone comes out my neck for this, I think what I read was that it is like basically nature running its course. And so your nipples get big that way. So when you give birth and you go to try to breastfeed, the baby knows like it's more visible to the baby.

No, God knew that my son was going to have decent eyesight because he did not change. Like you're like, God said, Jackson is going to know exactly where the nipple is. And he does not need to change your nipples. He had no problem finding it. And I have like small, what's it called like the areola like around? Yes. Like I have small ones. And I was like, I don't, I think that mine have always just like looked like this.

I don't remember what my nipples were before. I never, they may, you might not remember. Like if it wasn't something that you were looking at or like actively checking, they may have gotten like a little bit darker and then they go back after like some time. You might not have noticed, but like mine couldn't be smaller. Like it's a deformity if it is. I've actually seen some. I'll show you mine, not right this moment on the camera.

I feel like I've seen them. I feel like I've seen them and you have like deep, like they're, they're cute little perky. Like they couldn't have gotten any bigger. No, that's what I'm saying. Like they're just small. Definitely not. And I'm like, thank God I did not get a pepperoni nipple because I don't know what I would have done with that.

Well, mine definitely turned into that. I mean, they're fine now. Um, yeah, they're fine now. They're back to my regular Lolita color. They're not brown. Thank God. There's nothing wrong with any, with any brown nipples. Like no, no shade to anyone that has brown nipples.

Okay. Tell me, oh, no, I need to ask this question. How does the nipple color get determined and do men have the same color nipples as they do a dick? I'm going to do a test. I'll, I'll find out for you tonight. Kristin just pops on because, yes, yes, I will find out for you tonight. Um, and I'll let you know, I'll give an update next week. So essentially you're going to look at Elijah's nipples and then his dick and then give us the answer.

Because those are both like. Can you text all of your exes and ask them if their nipples are the same color as their dick? Yeah, sure. I want to do a marketing test. I'll text mine too if you text yours. Hey, are your nipples the same color? Hey, okay, I'm doing it right now. Hey, are your nipples the same color as your dick?

What the actual fuck? Okay, did someone already respond? Not yet. Okay, so we can move on and when we get responses, then we'll tell them. Perfect. I need to tell you about this insane TikTok that I saw and so I don't know if you listened to two hot takes. Oh, wow. Elijah said yes.

It's the same. Yeah. So that's, that's two people. Kristin and Elijah said that it's the same. But why did he know that right off the bat without looking? Why did he know that? Okay, tell me about this TikTok. Okay, so two hot takes is a podcast and also they have like a crazy TikTok following and I,

I listen to them all the time. Anyway, so they were telling the story about this man who's dating this woman and is so disgusted by her having a period that like he broke up with her and called her selfish about her having a period and why can't she take pills to make her period go away? Who was that? Who texts me? Yeah. Somebody, this person said, I'm not content.

Lindsay, you sicko. I'm waiting for someone to say that to me. No one has ever caught on. And I'm like, it was Will. It was in fact. We love you, Will. So basically she was like about to get into it with her boyfriend or whatever. And she stops him and she's like, I, you know, I have my period or whatever.

And he's so grossed out. He stopped talking to her. He ended up breaking up with her calls her selfish and is so disgusted. He, she even said that he gets upset about like tampon and tampax and pad commercials. Okay. Do we think that maybe he was with a girl that was on birth control and like started the next pack before the sugar pills? So then like she never had a period.

So then he went, I'm just, I don't know. Like maybe she didn't have a period. So then when he went to this girl, she did. I don't know. She said like it was over the top. Okay. Disgusted. But that's just like a natural thing.

So I don't know why anyone would be grossed out. Honestly, I like when I have one because I feel like everything's just like purging itself. Cleansing. Yeah. I agree. It's like a, it's like the monthly purge. I mean, I don't, I loved mine. I liked mine better when I didn't bleed as heavy because I haven't always bled this heavy.

But to think about some of the things that I have done while I had my period. Like what? Tell us. You don't want to know. No, I do. You absolutely do not want to know. I've got a lot of questions about this period topic. So I do want to know.

And then to think about a man who is just disgusted at the thought of someone having a period is insane. Okay. Do you have sex on your period? Yes. Me too. You do? Okay. So some people don't.

But I used to not. I used to not. I used to be really weird about it. And I'm like, this is like the monthly time of where you're specifically going to use your spank bank. Because I, I need this purge for myself. It's like a, a time of rest, a time of relaxation. Yes. And, and we're just not going to go there as I've gotten older.

I just don't think it's really that big of a deal. Well, the only thing that I've heard about having sex on your period is that some, because I believe, don't quote me on this. Y'all don't come for my neck. I'm just repeating what I've read. I believe your cervix is open at that time. And so you have a higher risk of infection. Oh, during a period?

Yes. And don't quote me on that. I just, and I might be, I might have misread something that led me to say that. I don't know. Kristin, is that right? Is that accurate? Okay. That's what I thought. Yeah. So I don't think it's that big of a deal to have sex on your period. Honestly, you could potentially start your period on a weekend and have it stopped on the same weekend

if you have enough sex. What? Yeah. Like I have a light enough one that like if I were to have sex twice on my period, like it's, it's coming home. Like she's outie. Like she's done. How do you, how can I do that? I don't know. Like it, I don't know. Honestly, it's like a preferred thing for me.

I'm like, okay, if I can just like do this and be done in two days, absolutely like count me in immediately. This is, this honestly has turned into Caller Daddy today. Like, I, hey, Alex Cooper, you ready for two co-hosts? I'm like, I cannot. I'm not going to do other stuff though. Like sex, that's one thing. But like other stuff on my period, absolutely not.

And if you tell me that other stuff on your period is a thing, I might log off. It is not for, not all things for me. Like I would never let someone put their mouth down there while I have my period. No. No, I would not do that. I mean, this isn't Ronald McDonald's house. Like I'm not the same that. No.

Oh, also one time somebody asked us about periods and they were like, why do you and Kale not use like the menstrual cups or whatever? And I'm like, no, like. I don't have a problem with the menstrual cups. The thing is that I believe so much that I just truly believe that I would leak through that as well. So it's not even that I don't, it's not that I wouldn't use one. I just don't think that it would help.

Oh, this is funny. Not too long ago, I was at one of my girlfriend's houses and there was a bunch of us ladies sitting around and I was like, I think that I might need a tampon at some point in the next like hour. And my period is literally like tech, like it's textbook and also like it comes at the exact same time, like around the same like hour. It's very strange, like my very, very strange clockwork, clockwork. So I'm like, I'm probably going to like need one within like the next 47 minutes, you know, roughly.

Someone comes out with a super plus and I'm like, you're like, what the fuck are you doing with that? I'm like, that's a whole dick. Actually, someone told me that we're not supposed to use them that size, but I do because my periods are so heavy. You're just supposed to change more frequently, I thought. Yes, like I've heard that only regular size tampons are good and just, but if I were a regular size tampon instead of changing every single hour, I would have

to change every 20 minutes. Like I shit you not, my period is too fucking heavy for that. No, no, God also knew what he was doing when he gave me the one that I got because he was like a bitch needs regular tampons. Everyone needs to listen up, stop going to your group chat for medical advice because you're unlikely to get like quality medical advice unless your friend is a doctor, okay? I actually need to go on ZocDoc whenever we get off of this podcast because I have some symptoms that are going on.

I need to find an allergist and I'm sure that ZocDoc will be able to help. They truly have a doctor for everyone and everything. So if you guys have not checked out ZocDoc, it is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance and are available when you need them and treat almost every condition under the sun. Go to ZocDoc.com slash convos and download the ZocDoc app for free, then find and book a top rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. That's ZocDoc.com slash convos ZocDoc.com slash convos. Something that I saw from the Facebook group and I feel like since we're kind of talking

about relationships, sex and all the things, this is a great time to talk about it. The question was, is it normal to feel like you and your partner have run out of things to talk about after being together for a while? And I think that's a good indication that you don't have as much in common as you probably should if you just feel like you're running out of things to talk about because I could talk about, I don't know, like paint colors and tile and ship with whoever I'm with and it's still be an interesting conversation if the relationship is right. I feel like you never run out of things. Now, you can only ask so many questions. Once you know that you know, they prefer morning sex over night sex, like those types of questions, like we're not

playing would you rather or whatever anymore. So I have noticed with my last relationship, I was always asking questions about his family, about his siblings, about his parents, about his childhood, about every fucking thing under the sun and he never asked me about mine. And it pissed me off to some point because I was like, we're having very surface level conversations. And I had to have that conversation with him. And I'm like, I just don't know where we're supposed to go from here because I mean, I'll ask you like in-depth questions about how you grew up, your parents, where you lived, like your siblings, why are your siblings not close, like all kinds of stuff. And I just never got the same in return. And not saying that all of our conversations

needed to be like about our childhoods and stuff. But when things were stale, I would always just like want to know. He never asked me about mine. And it just felt like there was no depth, like there was absolutely no depth. And I do feel like that's a chemistry thing. And this person, I mean, he wanted to marry me, he wanted to, it was just like really like devastated when I broke up with him. So it's very weird to me, like, I don't know if it's like a man thing, or if it was a or if it was a chemistry thing, or I don't really know. But I would say, yeah, if you're running out of things to talk about, that is not a good sign. And also, there's something to be said for being in someone else's presence. I've talked about this before, being in someone else's presence

and feeling comfortable enough to be silent. I think that's also a thing like you don't have to be talking 24 seven, if I can be laying on the couch, watching a movie, snuggled up, and not having conversation, truly, that's probably my misfavorite thing. I don't, I don't need to be talking all the time. That's exhausting to me. And to stimulating, like I'm way overstimulated by that kind of stuff. So I think I've always been like that in every relationship. What do you do in a relationship where you are cringing when they try to tell you a story, or they try to tell you something? That's when you're like, I do not give one symbol single fuck about this. And I can't even pretend to care because you're a horrible storyteller.

Like what do you do at that point? Is it they're a horrible storyteller or just the fact that you're not interested in the person? Because if you were interested enough in the person, you wouldn't think that their story was horrible. Okay, nevermind. That's not what I meant. I was saying, both a horrible storyteller and also very uninterested in the topic. So essentially, you're uninterested in the person. Is that what it is? Yeah, like in my opinion, yes, because someone could, if I'm interested enough in the person, somebody could be talking about fucking farts and I would be like, that's so interesting. Like I love that story. See, I read an article about like how therapy talk is like dangerous and selfish and like

has become over the top. And so I thought part of it, I was like, maybe this is like me being self aware and like, I'm not sugarcoating things anymore. We're like before in my relationships, I might pretend like I'm interested, listen, don't actually care. And now I'm more like, I'm not listening because I don't care. Is that like the dangerous side of like therapy where I'm just like not, do you get what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like, does therapy make you a rude bitch because absolutely it does. If I don't want to do it, then I'm just not doing it. Like no, and I'm going to tell you actually why I don't want to do it. I have zero interest in that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to go there. Don't feel like getting dressed. Honestly, don't

feel like hanging out with you. I'm going to let you know all the things and even though it might sound abrupt and it might hurt your feelings, you never have to wonder how I feel about something. Like if you and I were on our upcoming trip and I was like, no, like we're both going to bed, like we should probably just both go to bed because I need to go to bed. Right? Yeah. Like same concept applies. Like I'm just going to tell you how it is. I'm probably going to be like, listen, actually in my last relationship, I finally got to a point where I just like got the ick and it's not funny, but it's funny. I'm just like, there is nothing that you could say in this moment that is going to turn the ick around. Like once you get it, you can't get rid of it.

And I don't care about anything that you have to say, like nothing. I just, I feel like therapy in some ways has made me a little bit more. And maybe it's not rude to me because it's like, okay, I'm understanding like I'm more self aware. I don't need to lie. I don't need to beat around the bush about certain things. Like I can be brutally honest, but in the article, it was talking about how like if you're, if you're a girlfriend, like a friend, not excuse me, not like a romantic relationship, um, ghosts you and your therapist is like, you don't owe anyone an explanation. And in the article, it was like, but you do, you can't just like ghost your friend of 10 years and be like, I don't want to be friends with you anymore. And I don't feel like elaborating.

Um, how do you feel about that? I mean, I feel like if you are going to ghost somebody, you are within your, your rights to like do so. If you feel like that is not in your best interest to continue participating in whatever that is, romantic friendship, family, whatever. Right. But do I think as an adult that you should be comfortable if you're comfortable enough to go someone, you should be comfortable enough to give them somewhat of an explanation as to why you're doing it. Like in my situation, like I'm ghosting you because you're a cheater, a liar, manipulator and a fucking narcissist. Period. So for those reasons alone, I will never respond back to another text message. So remove yourself. So that's the explanation and it's

going no further. Thank you. Like I don't feel like you need to explain any further from that, because if that is how you feel, then that is how you feel like you don't owe any more of an explanation as to why you're making a life decision for yourself. Okay. Okay. I mean, I wasn't planning on talking about that today, but I'm glad that we got that off our chest. Okay. Next from the Facebook group. How do you know when it's time to move on from a relationship when no one singular event has made you want to leave? This is a really hard one actually. I feel like this is the hardest thing when nothing has happened and it's just like we aren't jiving. Yeah. Like the chemistry is lacking. We're not growing together. There

doesn't have to be a singular reason. I don't feel like it can be collective. But it makes it hard. It does. But that's where self-awareness comes in. I mean, you have to know when to call it quits. I just had a conversation with my kids the other day about relationships because we were listening to Penthouse by Kelsey Ballerini. And I'm like, do you understand what she's saying? And they, as I can, they were like, no. And I'm like, well, she went through a divorce and they bought this Penthouse and they were there five days a week, but they didn't like basically surface level. They weren't like doing the life that they thought they would when they bought this place together or whatever. I don't know. That's what I'm just

assuming. And I told them, I said, listen, I get a lot of shit for leaving my relationships, but I leave when I know there's no more chemistry. I leave when I'm not happy and I don't fucking settle. And that's the bottom fucking line for me. I don't think that it's great, but I also don't think that it makes sense to stay in a relationship no matter if there's 100 reasons why you're leaving or you can't pinpoint the reason why you're leaving. You don't have to have one specific reason. It may make it harder, like question yourself, is this the right thing to do, but ultimately you wouldn't be questioning it if it was right for you. I think that when you are self-aware, you know if it's right and it feels right and you know

if it's wrong and it feels wrong. And it does make it harder to leave when there's not a singular event to like tie it to to be like, well, I'm bowing out because you are a habitual cheater and liar. Like that makes it easy because you have something concrete to like hang your hat on whatever. When it's no singular event and it's just we don't have chemistry, that's hard because how do you tell someone that that evidently is either not self-aware or is completely reading you wrong to think that there is chemistry there and they're blindsided. A woman went viral for explaining, did you see this TikTok of the girl explaining why a lot of women leave the relationship and the men don't? No, I didn't see that. And she basically, she draws like two stick figures on

the paper and she was like, you know, it's not, it's never that one singular thing. It could be like, Hey, and this is what she draws. And she's like, you know, she believes that she should get a text a good morning text every single day. And she expresses how she feels to the man. The man says, okay, like that doesn't seem like a big deal, but I can do it doesn't follow through. So then she reminds him like, Hey, it would make me feel really special and important if you could text me in the mornings and say good morning. So he kind of starts to do it, but then falls off. So now she's like, you know what, I can't break up with him because he doesn't say good morning. But then slowly, but surely every single thing starts to become about how he's not making the

efforts that she has said from the very beginning that started with the text, but that's not the end all be all it becomes, she basically gets the ick because all of these things circle back to how he actually feels about her, which he doesn't try. He's not putting in the little effort to say good morning to her. I'll send you the TikTok. But I mean, even Buzzfeed posted about her because she like went crazy viral for it. And I feel like that's so true. It's like, if you are self aware, you may actually like, if you sit down and really think about the reasons why you're leaving, there is reasons. It might not be one single specific thing, but I do think that there are things. Coffee Convos podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most

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like, I'm thinking of you or hey, I know you're stressed. So I'm going to do dinner or, you know, good morning. I hope you have a good day or the simple load of laundry that, you know, the person put in because they know that you're going to come home, see the clothes and be like, that's something else that I need to do. It's all about the simple things in life. And I think that you get there with age, but also I think with experience and some of those things I might not have valued as much earlier on. But I think as the longer that I have lived and the more experiences that I have had, I kind of dial it all back. And I'm like, you know what, it's really about just like all of those simple little things. It doesn't have to be grand. Right. You know, like, my

relationship with Elijah is like the little tiny, like something that's really important to him is that I pack, I mean, he can make his own sandwiches for lunch first for work, like he can do that. But I try my best to remember every morning. I mean, obviously mornings are very chaotic. So sometimes I do it the night before. Sometimes I don't get to it, unfortunately. And something small that he does for me, he puts out like my pajamas, my towel, my washcloth every night before I take a shower. He also texts me every morning. Those are two things that he's pretty much never wavered on. And so I do feel a lot of guilt. Like if I forget to make his sandwiches or something, or I just didn't get to it, I feel awful because the intention was there.

But I also have not to make, not to make excuses for myself, but I also have four excuses essentially for why I didn't get to it. But I do try my best. But like those little tiny things that just show that like, I don't know, like that would be upsetting. I feel like if he just stopped doing those things. Well, and back to the lady that went viral. I think that for me, at the point that I have to start asking for something, I don't care about it anymore, because I already didn't receive it in that relationship. And now I feel like you're only doing it because I've asked and you feel like it's attached to your chore list. And you're doing it not out of the goodness of your heart. And because you want to do it, but because, oh,

like now this is an expectation that she has set. Okay. Like I don't want to have that conversation of, no, do I expect somebody to be a mind reader? No. But I also am very aware that I'm 33 years old. If I'm going to be with someone else, chances are that person is likely going to have children possibly have been married before me, whatever. And they have lived a life before me. So they have norms that they do in a relationship and hopefully are carrying like the healthy things into whatever they're being with me. And I have norms in a relationship and hopefully I'm carrying the healthy parts of that into that next thing. I'm not going to be overbearing about like, why didn't you send me a good morning text? Now, if it's a normal thing that that person kind of

like set the tone and then they don't do it, I'm going to be like, hmm, like I wonder what happened today. But at the point that I have to ask for it, I don't want it. I agree with you. I definitely agree with you. But I also, again, like don't introduce me to something you can't maintain. Because if you can't, if you've done this and you've set the tone and then you fall off now, I believe that's like a consistency issue with you. That was another part of the conversation that I had with my kids. Because you know, Lincoln did ask me is like, how many boyfriends have you had? And I had to be honest with him. I was like, I was with Joe and Hobby and Jordan, like I had to tell him. And I said, you said something, what did you say? Oh, the healthy

parts of the relationship. And I told him, I said, you know, I told both of them because Isaac was in the car too. I said, you know, just because, because he asked me, why did you and my dad to get divorced? And I said, sometimes you could be, it could be two good people and they're toxic together. I said, but that doesn't mean that both of us are going to be toxic in the next relationship. That doesn't mean, you know what I mean? And I don't, I'm not going to bash Hobby in front of Lincoln. I mean, I don't really have anything to say at this point anyway. But when I told Isaac the same thing, Isaac doesn't really ask about me and his dad because he was too young. But like, you can bring healthy parts to a next relationship if you have, you know, the tools

and things necessary, but agreed. Like I just hope to bring the healthy things to my relationship. And some of the healthy things that I can bring into a relationship today were things that I had to overcome in a relationship before it, that was probably toxic and what existed before. Yeah. I actually saw two quotes and they both relate to kind of what we're talking about. The first one is we all have toxic traits. We can all be toxic as part of being human. The question is, are, are we aware of our toxic traits, how they impact people and working to navigate life in healthier ways? And when you're doing the work, that means that we have a level of awareness. And it means that we see the messy parts of who we are and we're willing to look at

those things to learn new ways of coping and ways of reacting. And I think that that is essentially part of dating and getting in a relationship and out of one, that not, not that I'm advocating for like being in relationships to learn something and then to like move on to the next thing. I'm a big advocate for learning together and being able to stay together. But I have learned a lot, like from my marriage, I was married for a decade. So there was a lot of learning that took place and a lot of also undoing that had to take place as well. And then a lot, a lot of learning that some things I wanted to learn and some things were tough lessons from my last relationship that I know going into the next, I could take some of those toxic things because I felt like

I was a super toxic person in that relationship because the foundation of that relationship and how it was built was toxic. And so if not careful, if you don't learn from those things and become aware of those things and be honest with yourself, then the toxicity never stops. And being honest with yourself about it is so hard. Chris was talking to me the other day and he was saying, Oh, I know you dog. Like I know you blah, blah, blah, blah. No, you don't know me anymore. Like I've done the work. I don't want, I am very aware of how toxic I have been. I'm very aware of how toxic I can be, but I don't want to be those things anymore. Like I don't want to be, and that's a hard pill to swallow when you're like, wow, I had to swallow that pill that I was also

part of this problem in my marriage, in my relationship with Chris. I was, during my entire relationship with Malik, I was the problem. I had to look at myself and be like, I fucked up, you know, like I am part of this. I don't want to carry that on. And I hate when people hold us to like what we used to be because I don't believe every person is the same person in every relationship. I had so many conversations with my dad after I moved to this house, just kind of like the undoing of what I knew from my marriage and then what I was trying to do with suburban dad and now what I no longer want to do with anyone else. And it is so heavy acknowledging the fact that you were a contributing factor to some of the things. Now did I make someone cheat on me? No,

I didn't make anybody cheat on me. Like that was a chosen choice and somebody made that choice. But how I responded to that is a me problem. That's, I'm with you. I'm with you on that. And then how I responded also how I responded and how I stayed. You know, some of the, I agree. I don't think that I ever made anyone cheat. I'll never believe that. And I also think that like I learned like the true definition of deal breakers for me. Yes, you know, like, what is a boundary and what is a deal breaker? And because I tried to work through the cheating, I know that I would never do that again, because I, I don't, and maybe some people do and some people can and I've seen it happen. And I've seen, you know, people have successful marriages or relationships after

cheating. And if you were the type of person that can walk that journey and do it hats off to you. But I can't go, I can't go back to that. Like I never want to be in another relationship. Like at the point that you choose to step out, that's the point that you need to be willing to leave. And also at the point that you step out, that's the point that I need to be self-aware enough to know that you made that choice and that I also need to make a choice that is healthy for me. Agreed. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you just said. I saw this one tweet and it says, I don't care how much you and a person rekindle things, you're going to always think back about how they moved on you knowing that you would have never did it to them. The whole vibe at that

point is thrown off. It's hard to love a person the same twice, especially if shit wasn't reciprocated the first time and on God. That's like, when you know better, you do better kind of thing. I still to this day think that I loved Chris in a different way than I loved anyone in my life. The things that I left that relationship or what I would, I would think it was a relationship, I don't know if he would call it that or not. I could never love him the same way again. Agreed. I think that it's kind of like that aspect of when you know better, you do better, right? Like when you know too much, you can't undo it. Oh yeah, you can't. I mean, that's like, I had this friend years ago, we had a falling out around

the time of my divorce. And one of the producers of Teen Mom asked us to our face why we didn't get together. And that was my answer. It was like, I know too much about the things that she does. Like I know too much about who she is. When you know too much, there's just, you can't, you can't. You can't do it. And the other quote that I saw, it said, life humbles you as you grow old, you stop chasing the big things and start valuing the little things, alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, quality time with loved ones, simplicity becomes the ultimate goal. And that kind of goes back to me saying that like, strip away like all the fluffy parts of relationships. To me, it really is about just the small things. And also, I'm at a point that if someone's love

language, if one of their love languages is not quality time, I question that. One of mine is not quality time. So do you think there's something wrong with me? No, I don't necessarily think that it means that something's wrong with you. I just think for a partner for me specifically, that because I do value quality time so much that I need that reciprocated value in a relationship. Like I want them to value quality time with me as much as I value quality time with them. That's basically the conversation Alasha had with me yesterday. He's you. He said the same thing because I just run around like a chicken with his head cut off all week. So anytime I don't have my kids, which is this past weekend, well, I didn't have the littles

because Chris took them for Easter, but I didn't want to do anything. Like I did not want to leave my house. And he's such a doer and a goer and he likes to tinker and he likes to do all those things. And he said to me, I know you're tired, but can we do something? And it's just one of those things where I have to appreciate that he wants to spend time with me. It's got to fit somewhere in our schedule. I have to make that quality time for him. It's not that I don't want to do it. I'm just, I'm a tired girlie. But honestly, when you live a toxic existence, I feel like all of the things that I just listed, like a long time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, like none of that stuff I know for me was happening. Like there might have been

long walks, but they were long toxic ones. You know, like that path that we were headed down was like a toxic path. And the older I get, the more I value stability, eating right, doing right. Actually, I, right before we started recording, I was looking at crock pot recipe. We know I love a freaking crock pot. I was looking at different chicken recipes because I committed to myself when I, literally when I woke up on Monday, I was like, okay, no truly in white claws Monday through Friday, like, like we're going to get out of that game. I'm going to be a salad and a chicken girl and meal replacement shake cannot give up the Elani. Absolutely not. I will never give up Elani. I just can't. Like that's one, that's one thing. Like that's my vice. Like I,

I can't give up coffee before I give up Elani. But now that I feel like I'm in such a healthier place and I'm getting like good quality sleep and I'm living a healthy existence. Now I'm like, okay, I need to be healthy diet queen. Like not that I'm on a diet by any means, but like your diet. Yeah. Like your diet needs to be healthy. And I don't need to be eating chicken wings and like fried take extra crispy tater tots like every day, you know, yeah, yeah. And then there was another thing that underneath that quote, it was like in the comments and it said most of what you truly want you already have. And that is true. Like there have been times in my life, specifically, like that I have thought the more that I have, the more that I wish I could go back to like my

simpler life. Do you never feel like that? No, I do. I remember like as hard as it was for me and Isaac in my one bedroom apartment. I mean, everything is all relative, right? Like the money, the economy, inflation, all of those things. But like, like I was living my best life with the littlest amount, you know, like back then like weekend trips to New York, like New York City. And I had very little like my car was hardly working, you know what I mean? But life, it was simpler than and I had two jobs, a kid and going to school, but it was it was simpler. There is some sense of peace in the simpler things and and just the monotonous aspect of just daily life. I feel like I went awry when I moved into this house was a divorce lady, like my

schedule completely changed. I didn't know how to operate. Felt like my life like couldn't be consistent. Like when I had Jackson, I was doing these things. When I didn't, I was doing these things. And I was just like wanting to live a normal existence. And I feel like I'm I finally arrived there and it's like a really good feeling. I love that. I love that for me. All right, life moves fast. But Starbucks ready to drink coffee delivers an uplifting boost that helps you tune into the moments that matter wherever you are. One of my favorite things from Starbucks is the bottled Frappuccino. It's a chilled coffee drink and it is inspired by Starbucks cafe favorites and comes in four delicious flavors mocha, vanilla,

caramel and coffee. I have one of these every Sunday. It's like my Sunday go to treat before church. And you guys can enjoy every moment with Starbucks ready to drink coffee like me. I love every single one of these flavors. And you guys know that as a mom of all boys, my hands are full all the time. So there's never enough time in the day to do all the things. That's why I love that I can just grab a chilled bottle Frappuccino coffee drink and have my favorite Starbucks coffee wherever I am. I'm obsessed with it. Even my kids know that nothing happens until I have my Starbucks Frappuccino Starbucks coffee ready for right now shop the full lineup online or in store wherever you buy groceries. This was also on the Facebook group. It says please give

insight into this natural consequence parenting style. I understand this. Some actions have natural consequences, but not all. I'm a teacher as well as a parent and see far too often the the repercussions due to the lack of consequences and accountability with children. For example, a child lives repeatedly steals is mean or nasty to other kids is disrespectful. How do you justify using natural consequences for things like this? And what are they? Thank you in advance. So I think that you and I are on the same page with some of the natural consequence stuff. Like if you forget your coat, the natural consequence would be to be cold. I have to admit that when I read this, I also thought the same thing. And I've had these conversations with Kristen too

because you know, Kristen doesn't have kids, but I think Kristen learns a lot from me because I have multiple and so it can go either way. You can have good kids, you can have crazy kids, like you just never know what you're going to get. And we've had these conversations. I don't know what the natural consequence would be because I saw one of them said something along the lines of you know, when they don't have friends. But like, that's not for me personally, that's not enough of a consequence for them to truly understand because people, I know pathological liars as adults that have friends, because people don't realize that they're pathological liars until they're so far in. And at that point, you just pretty much accept that they're a pathological liar.

Well, I can tell you, if Jackson was ever a part of theft, and like, there is nothing more than that I despise than a thief, like, do not steal shit from me because I will let you have it. Like, don't steal from me. I hate, I hate thieves. Have you dealt with that before? Um, with friends and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, like one, that's one, that's one thing I, I, Kristen, can you think of any, I don't think any of my friends have like stolen from me. Yeah, I've never, I've never dealt with that.

Okay, so I had a friend years and years ago cut this person off in like, 2017, but stole all kinds of shit from me, like, literal random shit too, it would be like, a brand new black lace bra, like back when I even wore one. Um, sunglasses that were like, not to say they were like one of a kind, but they were glasses that like no one else that I knew had. So like, obviously I would know that she stole them and it was brazen enough to like, wear them in front of me. Um, a natural consequence of being a thief is like, I'm going to file a police report against you. And I did. Like to me, that's a natural consequence, right? Like, I believe that's a natural consequence. Um, I'm trying to find the original post. Okay, here it is

because I wanted to read some of the comments. So the, the one comment that I was like about says their natural consequence would be that they won't have many friends treating people that way. Consequences don't have to prove a point or whatever. They don't always have to be abrupt. Example, a kid doesn't want to wear a coat. They won't be cold. As soon as they step outside, give it a few and it'll kick in. Now they have to deal with being cold. That's a consequence to the choice they made not to wear one. In this example, being rude, stealing from people and lying, eventually people won't want to be around you or be friends with you. You'll eventually learn doing such behavior won't get you friends in life. I just see, we've talked about this before about like

the foul language thing and Jackson happened to write sentences or whatever. I made my kids do that the other day. Go ahead. You're like, literally get out the notebook paper in the pencil and like don't give me a lip because like you're doing it. I am big on accountability and although that might be the long term consequence of people aren't going to want to be around you. They're not going to want to be your friend. Like they're going to talk badly about you behind your back. No one would ever want to do business with you, you know, whatever, like these are long term effects to these actions. Also, I believe when you're raising kids that you have to have some form of short term consequence. And if Jackson stole from me, which he hasn't, but if he did, what I

probably would do would steal something that I know that he's going to go looking for and hide it and then let him deal with the feelings of not knowing where it is and that somebody stole something from him. Okay, so that it's like an eye for an eye, right? Yeah, but I definitely am an eye for an eye person. See, I also feel that way. So like the other day, I'm big on and I have such a hard time with it because I know my kids don't understand it now. I try to follow the bouncing ball here. Elijah and I make the kids do chores. That's the bottom line. You put your fingers on my white walls and there's fingerprints, you're cleaning them up. Isaac wanted these cats. Isaac's cleaning the window sills because they they jump up on the window sills, you're going to wipe them

down. The other day, Elijah wanted to take the kids to go run errands with him for like house stuff. And the kids were hiding in the camper. So two things here, they were hiding because they didn't want to go. And two, they scared me half to death because Elijah and I literally went through the entire house. He checked the camper, didn't see them. So they were hiding in the camper, like not in plain sight. There were two things here. You didn't tell us how you felt. Instead, you hid and then we had to come find you and two, you gave us a fucking heart attack and I was about to call the police. So like, what are the natural consequences for that? Because typically, they normally just like tell me how they feel, but they just didn't feel like going to do chores.

Okay, but see if that just an example, if that happened at my house, first of all, I'm walking the camper because that's misuse of one of our things like you going and using it as a hiding spot because you're trying to be an avoidant child. No, like that doesn't work for me. So now you're locked out of there so that no longer becomes your refuge. Also, you're still going to do all of the things that I asked you to do. And I'm going to have a conversation with you about being honest about how you feel and communicating that appropriately. Like once I found them in the camper, I was like, you guys scared me. Like I was so scared. I'm glad that you're okay. I was ready to call the police. And Lincoln looked at me and was like, we don't want to run errands. She was like, but the lack of

seriousness. No, like because you've given me a heart attack at this point. So at the point that I am going to have to call 911 and go to the ER, you telling me that you just didn't want to run errands does no longer fly for me. True. So no, we were just having a conversation about Jackson yesterday about Will and I getting on the same page with parenting and we pretty much are, but it's hard when you're co-parenting like having one set of chores at one house and one set of chores at like another house and also like the consequences for repeated same action. So like if he is misusing his phone in a way that he's not supposed to be using his phone, like the consequence needs to be the same at Will's and the same at my house so that he has the same expectation when he does that, he's going to

get the same response. So like that's another hard thing whenever you're co-parenting and then trying to parent and Will laughs at me. Sometimes he's like natural consequence parenter. What's the natural consequence for this? And I'm like, I don't know, use your fucking brain. You're like, hold up. I know you can do this. I know you can think of what the natural consequence is, but men have a harder time, I guess. Yeah, but it's so great. Can you tell me, because like I need to know why someone would need to medically enlarge their clitoris? This is a Buzzfeed article. And it went viral. It says these women spend thousands of dollars to medically enlarge their clitorises. And I guess it's for sexual reasons, it says. And of course it happened in Florida, but a medical

assistant, she started taking synthetic testosterone and estrogen to improve her energy levels and libido in her 30s around 2005. And then in 2016, a patient at the facility she worked at told her a secret, the hormones the patient was taking had caused her clitoris to grow. And then the patient's lover was thrilled. The sex was great. Anna decided she wanted a bigger clitoris as well. So if I had to guess, I think it like heightens the nerve endings and like causes extra stimulation. It's quote, mine was a good noticeable size, she said, but she wanted to enlarge it to increase pleasure because she liked the look. She asked her doctor if more testosterone would do that for her, he said yes, and upped her dose. Soon her clitoris grew by a substantial amount. She

loved it. Oral sex was more intense. And her clit was easier to find. Your partner just goes down there. And it's not like where is it? Like they know exactly where it is. First of all, if he has to ask where is it, then he shouldn't be down there in the first place. That's number one, like we don't need to go through medical surgeries to find your clit. Also, wouldn't that like completely distort the look of your vision? I would imagine so because like naturally I have a fat cat. But my like, my like lips and my clit are not fat. It's just like the FUPA thing. Wait, what's a FUPA? It's like the... Is it your lips? No, it's like the triangle that the bathing suit covers. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. So is that part of your cat?

No, I mean, like my cat, like my actual like parts are neatly tucked and folded. Like you would think like a woman my size with big girl things, you would think that mine's kind of just like matches, but like I have mine's neatly tucked and like folded and like all the things. So like I don't have an actual fat cat. It's just like the FUPA part, which is probably disgusting, but like whatever. I would imagine that if my clit was enlarged, it would probably show also like not for nothing, but like what in my legs rubbing together like being closed like either irritate it or stimulate it. If it was enlarged and like more sensitive. Yeah, like to me that is like they're deforming their clit like no, because I don't want to be having an orgasm when I'm, you know, sitting in a waiting room somewhere.

Okay, but mine's like all like tucked away. Like, right? Yeah. And I don't want it exposed. So I'm good on that. This is a great time for us to roll right into foul play because essentially I would, I would go out on a limb and say 70% of this podcast has been foul play. Yeah, it has. Okay, first foul play. Hey ladies, first of all, I love the podcast and look forward to it every week. I didn't think I'd find myself writing in for foul play, but here we are. My husband and I took the day off for our son's first birthday. We drove about an hour away from home to have lunch and go to build a beer. As we were checking out, I can tell something is a tad bit off with my husband. We walk out of the store and he immediately gets very serious and tells me he has to poop like now.

We were trying to find a bathroom and going to Macy's. We were walking through the store and he asked the lady where the bathroom is. Of course she says it's all the way in the back. He starts walking faster and faster. I'm carrying our son and following behind him. I start to see drips on the floor and look at his lighter colored jeans and sure enough, he has shit himself. He made it to the bathroom with the wet wipes while I looked for a new pair of pants for him. It gets even worse. While cleaning up, someone walked in on him. This was truly a story we'll be laughing about forever and our son will always have this to tell about his first birthday. Well, I mean, it's a catch-22, right? Because like the last thing you want to do is shit yourself in public. But at least one, you're with somebody. You're at Macy's. Yes, you have options.

Your person can go buy you new clothes. If you're going to shit yourself anywhere, it should be in Macy's. You should absolutely shit yourself in Macy's. But I'm just going to say if I was with somebody and I was walking behind them and they had a diarrhea trail, I can tell you right now the last thing that I would think about doing was how I was going to clean it up. I would immediately be be lining in another direction because one, I don't want to smell it. Like you're walking. I'm getting the after effects of like what's dropping. And if you think that I'm cleaning a grown man's diarrhea turds off of the floor at Macy's, no, that's not a thing. But I've always wondered why all stores do not have bathrooms at the front.

Like nothing pisses me off more if I walk in somewhere and nine times out of 10, like when I walk in somewhere, it's like, oh, I'm going to hit the bathroom first, like not to shit or anything, but like I might have to pee. Why are all bathrooms not at the front of the store? I agree. Because like if you're walking around the mall, why am I having to walk through the food court and this, that and the third all the way down on the other side of the mall? Like I can't get there. Please just put, especially in like big department stores, put them at the entrances of your stores. Please. I always feel like TJ Maxx has bathrooms at the back and like Lowe's and Home Depot.

And I'm like, you're dealing with majority of men that shit themselves. Like why are these bathrooms this far away? Like they, they just went and had like a hearty's biscuit and that shit was greasy and they're coming into this fucking Lowe's or Home Depot and they're going to blow this shit up. Like why is this all the way at the back of the store? Like Target really is the goat because as soon as you walk in the door, there's a bathroom. It's always there. They be knowing. They be know. Okay. Next. All right. Hey ladies, I've enjoyed listening to months of foul play and couldn't resist running in with one of my own.

I'm going to remain anonymous because you're more than like he recognized me from the Facebook group. I might be as just a fan of stimulation as my wife is. However, I had a severe lapse in judgment when we were in the throws about three months after she gave birth. When I got a mouthful of breast milk. Wait, I think I know who this is. Is this Tyler? What was the other one? Walter? Is this Walt?

Wait, it could be a lesbian. Yeah. I mean, it could be. It was certainly not the kink experience that a previous listener wrote about. I gagged. She burst into laughter and we vowed to never speak of it again. I mean, that's not the worst thing that could happen. I mean, I feel like I would, I would rather that happen to me than like go down on someone and get a mouthful of what their cycle. Oh my God.

You know what I mean? Like a mouthful of breast milk isn't so bad. The thoughts of like, you're out of your frickin mind. No, no, it further. If you're, if you're breastfeeding, like I think that you probably should just immediately be aware that someone sucking on your nipples is going to stimulate it. So you should issue a warning. Yeah, but I feel like that's common sense. But like maybe it's not like maybe they think that babies have like this sucking routine that like gets the milk out and like them just like a little bit. It's not going to simulate it enough to come out.

You know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. You just have to give a little, a little read the warning label before you proceed kind of thing. Were, were you the person that told me that you love nipple play? Yes. Like I didn't know about it. I actually had to take my nipple rings out because they affected my nipple play and like my never really healed when I got them pierced. And so they were always just like sore.

And if there was a nipple play, it just like wasn't a fun time. And so I ended up taking them out and it's just been way better. Wait, do people get off from nipple play? Yeah. What you have before. Yeah. And also that was one of the, I think back up, like what are you doing? Like, wow.

Like what are you like, I'm not doing it. The person, my partner is doing it. What is, what is the partner doing? I mean, they could use their mouth. They could use their palms. They could use their fingers. Like it really just depends, but it's like nipple play with other things. This takes it all the way back to the beginning of this podcast of looking at a still image.

It's like, if you are putting your palms on my nipples, like. It's actually, it actually feels pretty good. You should try it. Don't knock it till you try it. And I didn't say that I did not try it. I might have tried it. Wendy, shut up. Shut up.

On that note, it was good to see your face. It was great to see you next week. I'll get my life together, but today I just didn't have it in me. I love that so much. If you guys have not followed us on at coffee combos podcast on Instagram, make sure you follow us over there. If you have not subscribed to the show, you can do that from any podcast app always first at podcast one. We hope you guys have a great week and we'll talk to you soon.

See ya. Thanks for watching.