Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 385: Go Get Your Shine Box
Episode Date: November 6, 2017Stories covered in episode:    Please donate to It Gets Better: If you donate send the proof of donation to us at and we will match the first $2,000. Extra Content:...
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The explicit tag is there for a reason. recording live from glory hole studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that
makes the news makes it big or makes us mad it's skeptical it's political and there is
no welcome at this is episode 385.
And see, so we are in the final countdown.
Final countdown.
On our way.
No, no.
No, you know, there's nobody needs to make.
That's the worst theme music ever.
Now it's in my head for the rest of my life.
It never goes away.
That that hook stays with you.
God, that's.-curlingly awful.
That is dick-wiltingly terrible.
You're not a big Final Countdown fan?
Who even sings that song?
Is that show even a show still?
Oh, I thought...
There's a song called The Final Countdown.
Oh, I thought it was a show.
There's a song.
Oh.
It's an 80s song called The Final Countdown.
I don't know who it's by.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I thought it was a TV show.
Like a music singing talk show. I'm sure it is. Reality gaming. I don't know who it's by. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought it was a TV show. Like a music singing talk show.
I'm sure it is.
Reality gaming.
I'm sure it is.
But the video for it is Europe.
I can't play any of that on the show though.
Oh, because it'll YouTube will flag us.
So we just had a very funny conversation about Europe and their hair and the final countdown.
That hair is beautiful. The drain Wookiees that that hair would produce in the shower.
You know, every one of those guys got their locks for love when they clipped it off. You know what I mean? Every single one of those guys helped the cancer patients. What does it cost to get a perm
with that much hair? I know. That's a lot. That's the thing. Like, like I'm a guy with long hair,
but I don't do anything to it, right? Like, so all
I do is I just wash it and condition it and then brush
it. That's all I do, right? But, like, you see
these guys from the 80s. Do you do, like, a hundred strokes every morning?
There's, like, a million fucking curlers in it
and then they got, like, fucking, it's frosted
so they had to see somebody to do that
work and I'm just like, fuck you.
Any guy who sings
in a band with a power ballad
is the least tough guy possible.
That's just true.
And that includes Axl Rose.
Fuck you, Axl Rose.
Oh, that guy's chubby now.
Have you seen him?
I remember like, no.
Welcome to the donuts.
Oh my goodness.
Is he a fatty fat fat?
He came out.
Yes, he's huge.
He's enormified.
He came out.
He came running out at like a... Running or... That's exactly what happened. That's exactly out he came running out at uh like a running that's exactly what happened
it's exactly come running out he's like jogging out and then he's like welcome
to the jungle it's fucking amazing welcome to the jungle we got a cup of cakes
well not so many anymore because i don't eat a cup of cakes.
But Cecil,
we are actually on the countdown to our trip to Australia to go to the skepticon conference.
I'm,
I don't know,
man,
I'm crazy excited.
I've got a list of things to get bitten by.
Nice.
So it's substantial.
It's pretty much all of the flora and fauna in all of Australia.
And I, I, what I want to do first thing, I don't know if you've
got a list of shit you want to do when you get there.
I want to hug one of those gimpy, gimpy
trees. Oh, that's a good stuff. That's what I want to do.
I actually want to wipe my ass
with one.
I think that's what I want to do.
That's one of those ones that gives you paralysis, right?
That's the tree that gives you paralysis.
I think that's the one that's made out of like feminist fiberglass or something yeah like like
it can go away for and then come back months later or something yeah it's like it's gonna hurt every
time it's like it's like poison ivy if that was like we lived in a radioactive world it's like a
fucking venereal disease of a tree yeah you know what I mean? It's like, it hurts when I piss or breathe.
Australia's like a venereal disease of a country.
That kind of fits, right?
That's rough, man.
Well, it is.
I mean, what?
Nobody wanted it.
The aboriginals did,
but they killed them.
They didn't want the,
like,
they didn't want, like,
the fucking colonialism
that is Australia.
Yeah, right.
They were like,
hey, can you send
some colonies over here? Hey, can you send some colonies over here?
Hey, can you send
your worst people over here?
Or just, you know,
it's so funny.
It's like a lot of the people
that got sent to Australia,
I was doing a little reading
on our,
in advance of our trip
to do a Citation Needed episode
that we're doing on ours.
And like, you know,
I guess I assume
that the criminals
that they sent to Australia
would be the, you know,
the worst of the worst,
the most troublesome bunch.
Because they shipped them off to a fucking
island really far away.
Which I want to talk about that for a second too.
But these are guys who
stole a sheep. Really?
Yeah. Wow.
They didn't really do anything all that bad. They're just like,
I stole a biscuit.
It's like, well, we're going to put you on a boat
and we're going to transport you to Australia.
How much would it cost to do that?
It seems outrageous.
It does seem outrageous.
And then I think the idea is they transform to this
island in the middle of nowhere
and it's a giant prison colony.
We're like, let's be brutally honest here.
This is garbage times.
Why don't we just put them in a boat and then sink the boat?
It's garbage times. It's not like you just put them in a boat and then sink the boat? It's garbage.
It's not like you just put them on the garbage scowl
and you sink the garbage scowl in the middle.
I'm just saying this is not a time period in history
where human life was well valued.
We don't have one of those rafts full of plastic out there.
Just a raft full of bones.
I just don't understand that at all.
I don't get it.
But I am looking.
I'm crazy excited to go. I've always wanted understand that at all. I don't get it. But I am looking. I'm crazy excited to go.
I've always wanted to go to Australia.
I've always wanted to wrestle a bull shark.
It sounds amazing.
Probably going to win.
Not going to win.
At all going to win.
But it's in two weeks.
So if you're going to be in Australia,
you're going to be at Skepticon.
Let us know.
We'll buy you a drink.
We're looking forward to it.
It's going to be a good time.
Come find us.
We have a live show in the afternoon on Saturday. We'll buy you a drink and we're looking forward to it. It's going to be a good time. Come find us. We have a live show
in the afternoon on Saturday.
Live show in the afternoon on Saturday.
We're going to have a morning show
if Citation needed the next day.
Yes, indeed.
We'll be around for the whole thing.
We'll be hanging out.
So come find us
and we'll have a drink.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
let's talk about this story this comes from the independent.co.uk egyptian lawyer says it's a national duty to rape girls who wear revealing clothing like ripped
jeans now i want to make sure that we don't misquote because sometimes and not so much for
the independent. Right.
But every now and again, you get a headline that's sensationalized.
Here's what he said.
Quote.
Are you happy when you see a girl walking down the street with half of her behind showing?
And I read that and I thought, is that a rhetorical question?
Because I don't know how the answer is.
No, I don't understand.
Are you happy when you see?
Well, I guess the answer could be no.
The answer could be no.
It depends on that.
It absolutely could be no.
But he says, instead of being amusing, he says,
I say that when a girl walks about like that,
it is a patriotic duty to sexually harass her and a national duty to rape her.
So that's the words he said out loud and meant them.
Now, to be entirely fair, his comments have been pretty roundly denounced.
What it says here, it says that his remarks have prompted fury across the country and Egypt's
National Council for Women announced its plans to file a complaint
against the TV channel.
It's also issued a plea to media outlets
to refrain from providing a platform
for individuals who make incendiary comments
and incite violence against women.
This deep platforming shit just has to stop.
I just think, you know,
it's one of those things.
You know, yeah, this guy
just deserves to be able to,
let's just make sure we have this
contest of ideas,
Tom. And I don't understand why
we don't just want to hear
this guy out. Well, we should definitely
make sure that if he was invited somewhere, he's
still invited to that place. Absolutely.
Even after saying
it's your national duty.
You're proud to be an Egyptian.
Hold your hand over your heart to rape this
girl. What, you know,
what's the difference between your patriotic duty and your national duty?
Like,
cause you might tell the paper use,
I think afterwards.
There you go.
So,
um,
the comments come,
it says the comments come after Egyptian capital of Cairo was last month
branded as the most dangerous mega city for women in the first international poll, which looked how women fare in cities over 10 million people.
Another thing this idiot had said was he argued that if women become judges, they would also become muftis and a Muslim legal expert that would have the power to give rulings on league on religious issues.
And he said, if we let a woman become a judge why shouldn't we
let her become uh sheik of al-azhar i don't know what that means he says why shouldn't she become
a mufti why don't we all just go to hell will she issue me a fatwa if she is menstruating
these guys all treat women like a fucking a gas while somebody's smoking. You know what I mean?
Like, they're just like, what would happen if there was a woman who happens to be bleeding from her vagina?
What would she do to us?
What on earth would she do to us?
It's just like, I don't know.
The same things if she wasn't bleeding from her vagina.
Like, I don't understand what the fucking problem is.
It's so funny.
It's like they say this shit as if it's like self-evident that the act of menstruating is going to make a woman like another creature.
Like they fucking transform into some like bizarro subset of a human species.
It's like they just expose their incredible ignorance whenever they do this.
Like to the whole world that understands how biology works.
It's not when you're menstruating. It's the five days before you start menstruating.
That's the problem.
That is true.
That's the, that's when, that's when you can't issue a fat law.
That's when, that's when you can't even issue a, can you clean the fucking dishes?
You know what I mean?
Jesus.
In other news, i'm getting divorced
you say to someone else you know i'd like to give a million dollars to god and they look at you and
say wow what's the matter with you all right this is from cbs8.com uh and i love the way that they
phrase this shit i love this is great it's not it's not a great story it's just it's just the
way it's written it's so great. Christian College can't
explain $20 million in expenses.
Agency cites
very sketchy budget.
Hold on. Yeah.
I think if you're missing $20 million,
I'm
working on my budget right now, right?
For work. And I think if I
was just like, I can't find
$20 million.
Could you
imagine doing your
household budget and
$6,000
is missing?
Honey, where's $6,000?
Where did that go?
And then you're like, why? I bought a lot of
porn this year. Yeah, I don't know.
I guess I didn't keep a receipt.
I guess I made it rain
way too many times
at the strip club.
I thought those were ones.
I just don't know, like,
how do you...
And I was talking to you
earlier about this.
I work in higher ed.
So I recognize that there is
now currently,
higher ed is starting
to feel a dip,
a dip in enrollment.
And it's not just feeling
a dip in enrollment.
We're also feeling a hit from grants and things that are being pulled away. The government is not
funding higher ed like you see. We're currently in a situation in higher ed that is a little bit
tenuous. It's difficult. There's cuts being made at many different universities, departments, and
I can only speak for the university that I work for. Uh, but the,
the departments that earn are okay, but those departments that are not earning or that are
losing, they are in trouble. They are in severe trouble. And so I can see where, you know, some
people like when the housing market was on and people were getting like, you know, every, every
weekend at the bar, they're getting $10,000 bottles of Cristal delivered to the table or whatever, you know, and money just keeps coming and it's coming and
it's coming. And then finally, you know, you hit a dry patch, right? And it's like, Oh,
we've got to change how we run the business, et cetera. But in this case, it's not even like that,
right? It's not even to the point where it's like, it's like, Oh, we just miss, you know,
we just misappropriated some of this money and moved it around, or we spent too much on our students or whatever.
In this case, it's just like, don't know what happened to it.
Sorry, we just don't know.
Did you check your desk drawer for $20 million?
Look under the table.
Lift up that couch cushion in the dean's office.
$20 million might have fallen out of his wallet.
Is there a way to, I mean, $20 million is a lot of goddamn money.
It's a lot of money. That's a lot of goddamn money.
And the thing is, it's a Christian school
and they're saying, even the students are saying
like they promised us stuff
like facilities and whatnot.
Alright, so the chief financial officer
for this Christian college in San
Diego says he can't remember
where the money went.
I don't know, guys. He's the chief financial officer. His job is to know where the money went. Yeah. Oh no guys. He's the chief financial
officer. His job is to know where the money's at. That's why the word financial is the second
word in his title. He's not like, it's not like they asked like the Dean of arts. You
know what I mean? It's not like they were like, Hey, Hey, Hey, by the way, Joe, the
custodian, do you know where that's what it's not?
My mop bucket.
I don't know.
It's a chief financialist.
Only job is to know where the money is.
But the first thing, though, in his title now is unemployed.
So unemployed is the first thing.
Well, now he's squaw financial.
I was chief and he's been bumped down.
Yeah, exactly.
To brave financial officer or whatever.
I don't think he changed gender.
The Bible says they're going to eat their arms.
The Bible says they're going to eat their babies.
Then it says they're going to eat their children.
That's what people do when they get hungry.
This is Strange Steve. The firing of Anthony. We're going to go with sarcophagus. This is Strange Steve.
The firing of Anthony I'm going to go with sarcophagus.
Scaramouche. That's what I said.
Scaramouche.
He can do the Fandango.
He's a sign of Trump's deepening Christian faith.
So let that one sink in.
This is on, by the way, shockingly
the Jim Bakker show.
Here we go.
Lori and I are on the advisory council.
We don't talk about that a whole lot.
We're talking about it right now in front of everybody that ever listened to the show.
Immediately flashed to a picture of them all.
We don't.
Look, here's the thing.
I have an 11-inch penis.
I don't talk about it very much.
Anyway, here's my book.
I have an 11-inch penis and a picture of my 11-inch penis.
And I just texted all of you my penis. I have an 11-inch penis and a picture of my 11-inch penis. And I just texted all
of you my penis. I dick-picked
all of you. Anyway, I'm going to
go ahead and I'm going to hit this baseball
with a poke.
Really?
Really?
Dude, just show off if you're going to show off.
It's so funny because he's just like, I don't really talk about it.
I don't really talk about it, but just showing
you everybody. And I'm going to spend the next
25 seconds talking exclusively
about this, by the way. So many
of us, and it's people like
Billy Graham's daughter.
Anne Graham Lotz. She's
big. She's a big girl.
Either that or Jim is shrinking.
I'm not sure. Well, her name
is just Anne Graham. The Lotz is just a descriptor.
He has so many pastors and preachers
on his advisory boards.
They're talking about Trump, by the way.
They're saying he has so many preachers
on his advisory boards.
But then he'll stop
and he'll say his spiritual advisory board.
And it's like, well,
who else would you have
on your spiritual advisory board?
Physicists?
He doesn't even have that on his fucking energy board.
No shit.
He doesn't have.
He certainly, he had that fucking Chubby McChubberson who just stepped down for the agriculture.
That guy.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Did you see that fucking rotund motherfucker?
The guy whose chin is like strategically placed in between his two cheeks.
It's sort of a floating chin.
Did you see that guy? I guy? How big that guy is?
He was
a smart choice for the agriculture job
because he's eaten an entire 4-H fair.
He ate the whole fair. He could grade
himself. He could be like,
I'm going to go Chuck because I think
I'm marbled. I'm going to go grade
a Chuck. I ate everything with a
blue ribbon on it. What is his name? I don't remember.
Oh, God.
Everything with a blue ribbon.
I'll take one of everything
in here with a blue ribbon on it.
Just flossing with a blue ribbon
after it's done.
What the fuck is his name?
Clovis.
Clovin.
Sam Clovis.
Yeah.
God, what a terrible name.
Spiritual advisory board
that they all can't come to meet at one time.
Dr. Don Colbert and Mary are on.
Well, then there's too many people.
If your spiritual advisory board is so chock full of you Yahoo ass idiots that he's clearly just manipulating in order for him to get for you guys to turn out votes and orchestrate his base.
If there's so many of you guys, you can't put you all in a room for a meeting, then what
fucking good is that advisory council?
Call in my advisors. I don't know.
There's too many of them. Give me the
good ones now and like A squad now
and B squad later.
Let's set them up into tracks.
So we'll have the eight.
Monday, Wednesday, Friday, we'll get A track.
And then Tuesday, Thursday, we'll get
B track. I was going to say college prep, but it's not in their cards for these guys.
I guess not.
On the drive-thru board.
Well, they go to a different meeting than we go to because the boards are so big.
And it's growing.
I mean, more and more and more and more and more.
Listen, so this.
He just cuts around.
She's just like more and more.
He's just like,
she's just going to keep saying more.
I better stop her now.
It's just to talk right over.
It would be great.
If she's just like more and more and more and more and more and more and more
and more and more,
it's just keels over.
Just talk to yourself right out of air.
Oh, nobody stopped her. She's so used just keels over. Just talks to yourself right out of air. Oh, nobody stopped her.
She's so used to being talked over.
She didn't know her brain
just went on repeat.
The best part is
she's looking to the other side now.
She looks like a joker.
That is a woman who's had
so much plastic surgery.
Her skin has been stapled
to the back of somebody else's head.
There's a doctor with a knee on the back of her head,
just pulling as tight as you can,
tying a knot back there.
Just like, whatever.
Give me my money.
I don't care.
She's the only woman walking around with two balloon knots.
You can figure the back of her head.
She started to look like a fucking guy with a fucking leather face
at this point. Like she's wearing someone
else's face and you're just like, is that
your head, Lori? Lori, is that yours?
It's like you kind of want to be like, okay.
I'm going to give you this.
No wrinkles. Okay, that's a plus.
Downside is you no longer
look human.
The downside is you look more feline
than human. You look like a naked cat. That's what you look like human. The downside is you look more feline than human. You look like
a naked cat. That's what you
look like.
This is so interesting.
And people say,
how can you endorse
Donald Trump as a Christian?
Did you ever hear anybody ask you that question?
Well, they haven't asked that specific
question, but... No.
Nobody's ever asked that question.
Why do we care?
Who cares?
Why would you endorse him, period?
Let alone as a Christian.
I know.
I know.
You know, whether or not he's a Christian is between him and God.
That's right.
Well, it wasn't between God and Obama.
Right.
Exactly.
Right.
That's the thing, right?
It's not between Obama.
It was, oh, his preacher's too black.
Oh, he's a secret Muslim.
It's like, well, he's not a Christian.
He's not a Christian. You said that all the time. Right.
It's not for all of us
to judge him.
Unless he's black.
Now, the thing is, we got a white guy now.
And now we're not going to judge. We're not
going to backseat drive the white guy.
Let's just let the white guy do his thing
because everybody knows he's a lot
whiter than the black guy.
The black guy was a little
white too.
The best part
is he says we're not going to judge
him and then he'll launch into
all the ways he's qualified,
which is judging him. It's just
approvingly judging him.
Yep.
Yep.
Right.
Different way to judge.
Right.
Now you're telling me you've already judged him and you approve.
Right.
Yeah.
Yes.
There are things in his life,
you know,
that we've talked about before that we don't approve of,
but you,
you don't.
Well,
like,
like the,
like the grabbing of the pussy.
Is that one of them?
Right.
Or the,
the,
the,
how many marriages has this guy had at this point? Which I
don't care, but these guys should be
anti all that shit, right?
They're supposed to be. I would imagine
divorce is outlawed in the Bible. Divorce
is pretty clear. It's just as bad as
a shitty document. That's all I'm saying.
I'm just saying I'm pro-divorce. That's, I guess, my stance
on that one. Don't hear those things in the last 10 years.
And his language has improved.
Wait, so he was a shitty person 10 years ago?
Yeah, but now their argument is that he's gotten a lot better.
Well, there again, this is the forgiveness thing.
They've forgiven him, and he's forgiven himself
for grabbing so many pussies or whatever.
And he's like, I've cut off my hand
to spite my pussy grabbing hand. And it is like, we talked about before and we'll talk again. It's
the forgiveness problem. Like, it doesn't matter how bad a person you are as long as you're like,
yeah, but now I love Jesus. And that's, that's all of a sudden erased. Yeah. That's, that's,
that's, that's, and the thing is, is like, if somebody were to do some horrible shit that you would, you'd look at and be like, I don't know, man.
Like you were saying that you sexually harassed girls and that you wound up going into dressing rooms to see naked girls without their permission.
And you know, what the fuck, what's up with that?
And then like 10 years later, like, nah, but I don't do that anymore.
Well, yeah, you're fucking 72 years old.
You couldn't get a hard on with fucking two people helping.
But you did.
Right.
But you did.
Right.
And it doesn't matter that you stopped.
Like, I'm sorry, but like there's some shit that's just wrong.
Yeah.
And the fact that you're not doing it anymore doesn't make it okay.
Doesn't make you an okay person.
Like you just have to live sometimes with the fact that you've done
fucked up, and it's a stain on
who you are. Prove better. And remember
that guy that he appointed?
Scaramucci? Oh, yes.
Absolutely. That guy was
appointed for 38 seconds.
That guy was fucking awesome. That guy's
the Fonz. He was the Fonz
of, okay, fucking suck my dick. Get one of those fucking reporters in here. I don's the Fonz. He was the Fonz of, okay, fucking suck my
dick. Get one of those fucking reporters
in here. I don't care which one. Get the
old broad. The old broad is gonna fucking,
she's gonna fucking retire next year. I want her to
suck my dick. Right here.
You, old lady. Yeah.
No, the black one behind you.
Both of you, juggle my balls.
Fucking suck my cock.
That's what I want.
That's actually tamer than what he said.
I know, right?
Like, this guy would have surprised me if he didn't stick an ice pick through the back of somebody's head.
Or cut somebody up with an axe with a poncho on at some point.
If he made it through his entire tenure without ice picking anybody, I'd be like, did not see that coming.
He's telling everybody that he just guys like I'm a fucking made guy now.
Fucking forget about it.
Hey, you fucking Ted Koppel.
Go get your fucking shine box.
Get your fucking shine box.
This guy is awesome. I would have killed to have this guy in the fucking White House forever.
Forever.
I want everybody from this point on to just say, fuck it.
This is my guy.
And he's their guy from now on.
I want to hire this guy as a motivational speaker.
I want this guy to book guests for us.
He's going to call people.
He's like, fucking Sam fucking Harris.
I'll make you a fucking offer you cannot refuse.
I'm going to put a fucking horse head next to you, you motherfucker.
It's fucking amazing, this guy.
Fucking Scaramucci, man.
Who had a quote and said some really vile things.
Do you remember that?
Yes, yes.
He got rid of him. That's, yes. He got rid of them. Right. And he
got rid of them, not because he thought
those things were vile, but he got rid of them
because now he's in
front of, there's a court of public opinion.
Right. And when there's enough outrage,
even Trump reacts. Yeah,
at some point, the guy was so
outrageous that even Trump was like,
he reflects poorly on it. Exactly, right? He reflects, but even Trump was like, he reflects poorly on.
Exactly right.
He reflects.
But the thing is, like, you're the president.
You couldn't vet that guy.
I know.
What was that guy subtle somehow?
He interviewed so well.
I didn't expect it.
What the fuck?
He was fucking.
He had a cannoli in his mouth.
He was fucking slapping a hooker.
We met over a pot of pigs.
You know what i mean uh
it was fine we were at the lickety split and we were uh you know putting some dollar bills
into places he lit he lit a couple of fucking insurance fraud places on fire for me i thought
he was a good guy i didn't know like seriously this guy there's no way this guy crushes it.
He's such a knob. What's so crazy
is that guy's so fucking rich.
Like Scaramucci is fucking
rich. He's like a hedge fund
guy or something. I don't know what he does, but he's
like a super rich dude. Well, how do you
get an attitude like that walking through life
and you're not unbelievable?
Because everybody else would be like, well, this attitude
is not working for me. Everybody else be like, well, this attitude is not working for me.
Everybody else is like, no, fuck that.
I can get fired.
Yeah.
Guy's worth $80 million.
Oh, my God.
The guy's fucking stupid rich.
The guy is fucking stupid.
He didn't need that job.
He did it because he fucking,
what he wanted was,
he wanted to be the big swinging dick
in charge of something.
Because guess what? In real life, that dude is a big swinging dick in charge of something. Because guess what?
In real life, that dude is a big swinging dick in charge of something.
You know what I'm talking about?
You know what I'm talking about?
I'm an $80 million fucking not worth and not be in charge of something.
That's insane.
You can only speculate why,
but my personal opinion is that that interview was part of it.
But my speculation is the following.
I love that shit.
We can only speculate, so allow me to do so.
And wildly.
And he just decided he didn't want his key people talking like that in public.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's what it's like.
You don't want your key people to misrepresent you.
So if I hired anybody and they went out and was like, hey, it's a bunch of cocksucking
motherfuckers.
I'd be like, whoa, whoa.
Fucking would you fire that guy?
You're so fired.
Fire that guy so fast his fucking head would fall off.
I would hire his friends to fire them too.
Exactly.
It's funny because what he's trying to say is, look, Trump is a changed person.
Trump is a changed man.
What he used to be was he used to be more vulgar.
And in the last 10 years, he's changed.
And now he is a changed person.
He's a christian
we we we recognize him because he has all these people around him that are christian and you're
like just like you said though how the fuck did that scaramucci guy get through the fucking front
door then if he's a fucking changed man it's not the act of firing him that's a that's a it's it's
the act that he hired him in the first place that That guy's not, that guy's fucking, he's an open book, man.
I know, right?
Pause and consider the very idea that what we're seeing now is the new and improved version of Trump.
Yeah.
Right?
That he used to be a bad guy, but now the person we see every day, that's the improved version.
What was the bad version?
What was the version that he has improved but what was the bad version what was the version that is that he has
improved upon
was he just was just eating
babies all day
fucking baby juice dripping down his
fucking triple chins
are you kidding me
stuffing them in the full
I'm gonna bring this one with me when I go golfing
I'm gonna eat it on the 18th hole
I don't know why he sounds like that.
I don't know either.
Well, Tom,
the swing is still in effect.
I would go so far as to say
that this show is in full swing.
It's still in full swing.
It is in full swing.
We're getting into the swing of things.
And if you want to get into the swing of things,
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Alright, this is Right Wing Watch.
This is Sandy Rios. Calls to move
forward together after New York City
terror attack come from the
communist playbook. Wait, what?
Now, I tried online
to find a communist playbook.
Oh, yeah. And I wasn't able to find
one because that's a bullshit thing
she made up. Communist playbook.
This is great, though.
See, we're going to do the Mark
slant. What I want you to do is
run forward. You're going to tackle his
capitalist. I don't even know
his proletariat.
All right. We're going to go in a hammer and sickle
formation. I guess you would imagine that there would be
the proletariat would be your offensive
line. Right. And then you'd want to seize
the means of production, which is
all right. So that was CBS. And and of course the rest of the night the the mayor encouraged them to
continue with their halloween parade i saw which i think was great actually to be perfectly honest
i think that was great they um there was a terrorist attack in the middle of new york
or actually in the lower manhattan part of new York guy. Did you see how far he drove on?
I did not know.
So he drove like 20 some blocks on the fucking bike path.
Holy fuck.
He was fucking driving like 20 blocks.
They showed a fucking visual of it.
I was like,
holy shit,
that guy was driving that far.
And then he crashed into a bus,
got out and got captured,
got shot and got captured.
But,
um,
but fucking killed a bunch of people.
Like they,
it was, it was a fucking mess down there.
And then they still were like,
you know what?
We're not going to close the parade down.
We're still going to do the parade.
And I think that's great, right?
You're doing something.
You're showing somebody,
look, you're not going to change our everyday life.
No matter what you do,
no matter how you attack us,
we're still going to be the same group of people
that we were.
Well, isn't that the goal of a,
one of the many goals of a terror attack, right? It's to change, it's to
fundamentally change something about the culture that you're
attacking, right? Exactly. To create a culture
of fear within the people that you're
going after. Little shots
of it this morning, and it just seemed,
I made my piece yesterday.
I said what I said about Halloween.
I saw men people
marching in the parade with... I saw men people marching in the parade with some men.
Men people. Oh, men people. Yeah, they're like
mayor people, but with penises.
Horror masks and blood dripping down
and skulls. And I thought,
you know. Yeah, it's Halloween.
That's Halloween. Are we doing the Halloween
thing again? We're doing the thing where we're like,
I'm scared of ghosts and darkness
and monsters and ghouls. Are you fucking
kidding me? This is Halloween.
People dress scary and then they get candy.
That's all of Halloween.
Two things happen on Halloween.
Women dress in naughty nurse outfits and stay home, hopefully, with me.
That sounds good.
Or everybody dresses up and then they go out and get candy.
Those are the two things that happen on Halloween.
That's it. those are the two things that happen on Halloween what do you think about the the way in which some people dress up
with gore and things like that
like if you had your kids and you're walking down the street
and you saw somebody in a costume that was
really graphic not
graphic sexually but graphic violence
like somebody who looked like they had a big
like sword cutting their head
in half or something like that
what do you think about that as a parent?
Yeah, I'm totally fine with it.
Yeah, I'm totally fine with it.
It's Halloween.
It's one day out of the year.
I think it's campy and silly.
I think if you have little kids that are going to be nervous about that, it's easy enough
to cross the street.
Like my little guy's three, right?
Maybe he would be scared by that.
I would just cross the street.
Like I don't want to like ruin everybody's fun because my kid, once he's old enough,
will age into that.
At least he'll age into where you can have
a conversation and say it's all just silliness.
It's costumes like your costume.
It's just more elaborate. If you're scared
of it, we'll walk away.
When we walk up to, I went trick-or-treating
and it was myself and Haley
and I don't know, half a dozen kids. I don't know
how many there were, but the littlest one,
there were some of the houses that he
was a little scared of because they had like, you know,
haunted houses. He was scared of them.
Well, okay. So we
just stood back a little bit.
The end. You know what I mean?
Like, it's fine. Like,
I don't know. It doesn't bother
me at all. Like, it doesn't bother me at all because it's all
part of the... It's part of the day.
It's part of the festivities of the day. I don't think that personally, I don't think
there's anything wrong with any of those things, but I don't have any kids. So I don't know what
that reaction would be. Right. Cause I don't, I don't, I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to
filter the world for my child. So I don't know what that feels like. Right. Yeah. But so let's
talk. I don't, I'm not either. You know what I mean? Like to some degree, I guess I am, but like,
you know, there is, there is a point in time and it's, it's sooner rather than later with kids where kids have to
adapt to the world. The world is not going to adapt to those kids. And so the job of parenting
is not to say like, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to shield my kids from everything I can until the
very last moment. And then all of a sudden the blinding light of the world is going to rush in
upon them and they'll be exposed to the way things really are.
You know, your goal as a parent is to expose them to the right things at the right times
to hopefully know what those exposure levels are.
And that's going to vary kid by kid and issue by issue.
Absolutely, yeah.
You know, but like the goal for me at least is not to build a world where it's like,
I don't want him to see this.
What if he gets scared?
I'm not scared of my kids crying. I'm not scared of them being nervous, oh, I don't want him. I don't want him to see that. What if he gets scared? I think I'm not scared of my kids crying.
I'm not scared of them being nervous or afraid.
I don't care.
I think that there is a,
I mean, there's no reason to tell your kids
the Jesus story unless you wanted to protect them, right?
Right.
You know what I mean?
Like to protect them from the questions of death.
You don't tell them that story
unless you're trying to shelter them.
And so I think that this is just
a natural extension of that, right? This, I don't like the gore. I don't like them that story unless you're trying to shelter them. And so I think that this is just a natural extension of that, right?
This, I don't like the gore.
I don't like the skulls.
I don't like the blood dripping off of people.
And the reason why is because you want to protect people from it.
You don't want people to see it.
But you want to censor these people and how they're dressing.
If I don't want to see somebody dressed up in a bunch of gory shit, I won't go out on Halloween.
Yeah, it's easy.
If I don't want to see that on television,
I'll just change the channel.
Like, I don't have to watch, you know,
some, you know, gory movie if I don't want to watch it.
I could just change the channel or not.
That's the thing is that you have to seek it out.
Yeah, you have to go out and do these things.
You have to go out and find something to be offended by.
Yeah.
And then be like, well, when I look for the thing that offends me, I found the offensive thing.
I was titillated once I, you know.
Yeah, when I was done jerking off to that.
I was.
And I was fucking sitting with my flaccid fucking dick in my hand.
I felt ashamed.
All of a sudden, the shame rushed in and I deleted my browser history.
I never deleted.
You know, we've all been there.
No.
No.
No.
You know what I do?
Bookmark, motherfucker.
Publish it.
I shared a facebook the weirder i feel after the harder i hit bookmark that's so funny yeah there did i just share that's facebook
please don't say i just shared that to facebook i don't want anybody to know about this one
did you see the um porn hub april fool's prank
on april 1st I think last year,
when you went to Porn Hub's main page,
it said like,
it had a thing pop up.
It was like,
you know,
hope you enjoyed your video.
We just shared it to your,
you know,
it had like Facebook and Twitter.
That's so mean.
And then like it faded out.
It was like,
ah,
you're just kidding.
Here's some titties.
And it's just like,
ah,
it's so great. Not quite right here. This is all just kidding. Here's some titties. It's just like, it's so great. Not quite right
here.
This is all just wicked. It's just wicked.
And so, you know, now we're
free to march in the streets with
blood dripping masks
and carrying skulls.
Yeah, on Halloween.
That's the thing. That's what Halloween
is. It's not like
they're doing this on like
July
16th or something
that would be weird right or if every
Thursday we did it that'd be a little weird
yeah but it's culturally fucking
appropriate you kill joy
god she sounds like so
little fun doesn't she
that's the thing about Sandy Rios yeah she sounds
like the least fun woman on earth
so unfun it'd be ridiculous not a smile when you fuck her in the ass not even a grin
what the mayor and the governor encouraged people to continue to do i just
think they're missing the point and as i heard the governor of being scared they're supposed to
be scared like the terrorists want them to but then they but then they wore masks and scared the other terrorists away yesterday cuomo he was he kept saying forward together forward together well that was i believe
an obama uh uh phrase and i think it's a phrase that comes out of uh the old again communist
playbook forward together forward you know we're strong remember we've discussed we're boston strong
we're new york strong man we're too tough uh, we've discussed we're Boston strong. We're New York strong. Man, we're too tough.
Nothing to see here.
Just move on.
Just continue.
It's really kind of bizarre.
It doesn't mean there's nothing to see here.
It means it means in the face of adversity, we don't crumble.
Right.
Right.
That's that is an affirmation of the strength of a people under pressure.
What the fuck else would you do?
Be like, oh, we're fucking totally not up for this. Yeah.
Like, what's the other message? Well, I guess
the other message is just sitting
in a hump or a clump in the corner
just weeping. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, what are you
supposed to do? And the idea of forward
together, though, it's like,
okay, they're words of encouragement.
Maybe they're, maybe it's just
empty words in some ways, too. Maybe
they're just empty words, but, you know, some people may find those words to be encouraging. Okay, good. Well, I think it's just empty words in some ways, too. Maybe they're just empty words, but some people may find those words to be encouraging.
Okay, good.
I think it's the together thing that she's saying is communist, right?
But that's what a society is.
It's like this desire for rampant independence is...
That's not even the right word.
Not independence.
Individualism.
Yeah.
This desire for like
a sort of hyper individualism
rather than any kind of idea
that we can have a society
where we do come together,
where we do rally around
a shared set of values.
That's what a nation is, right?
A nation is nothing.
It's not the land
we happen to live in. It's not the fucking agriculture that we have. It is the shared values that we as
a people have. That's what any group is. That's what any community is. It's what your family is.
That's what your social circle are. That's what your workplace is. No matter how you expand it,
it is a gathering of people that have some kind of shared purpose, some sort
of shared set of values. This idea that it is threatening to our individualist spirit,
our American individualist spirit, if we ever acknowledge that as a society, we'd like to work
together at something, is just fucking insane. But at the same side of their mouth, they're saying,
how dare we
go against the government? How dare we
march against the government? What is
wrong with us? We need to come together. They say
that unity shit all the time.
It's a message that they play both
sides of, right?
When they're gathering for things that
they don't like, then it's communist.
When they are gathering to
protest for, when you gather to protest for your individual
rights, somehow that's no longer collected.
Everybody has a way of interpreting them to be the truth or not true.
There's no such thing, unfortunately, more a fact.
All right, this is right wing watch.
Conservative communist Robert Mueller should be fired for indicting Paul Manafort.
Huh.
So this is a clip.
Let's go ahead and listen to what she has to say.
Nothing in this indictment against Manafort and Gates is something that could not have been handled by a regular prosecutor in the Department of Justice.
So the chilling implication of this for all Americans is that if you get involved in politics, if you get involved, even as a volunteer in a presidential campaign, and there is a targeting,
if the person that you support is unpopular for whatever reason, then you could be subjected
to a investigation with almost unlimited resources.
So what?
So what?
So even if that were true, like, let's say I volunteered tomorrow and then somebody was like, we didn't like that you volunteered.
We're going to investigate you.
You wouldn't find anything.
Yeah.
I've broken no laws.
Right.
It's, you know, like we've talked about this before, too.
It's the skeletons in every closet idea.
Right.
Like there's there's a certain group of people.
It's like, well, you know, there's skeletons in every closet.
What if at all?
Those are all people with skeletons in their closet. Exactly.
We've talked about this. It's like, you could take
everything I've ever done, write it down on a piece of paper
and publish it. And I'd be like, yeah,
that's what I've done.
The fucking end. I think that there's a lot more
people that are just good people.
Right. They're just good people. And this
doesn't affect them at all. This idea
that you're going to be like, look, they'll have unlimited
resources. Well, they're going to waste a lot of resources.
Yeah. Because they didn't have any contact
with Russia.
Exactly. Because they didn't get contacted
by Russia last week. It's so funny. It's like,
well, you know, they've looked
into it and then they found stuff.
Now we're mad about that the stuff was
found. It's like, well, I don't
know. Maybe don't have any stuff to find.
Yeah. Maybe don't conspire against the
United States. Right. But that's what
investigations do. They investigate
to discover if there's wrongdoing.
That's their job as investigators.
That's why the word investigate is the
first big piece of that word.
All we have afterward is
what the fuck
their resources
funds attorneys that are thrown at you to try and get the true target of the political operation.
And I think that that should concern every American Democrat, Republican, independent, non-politically aware people.
I've never been less worried about anything in my entire life.
I couldn't imagine being less worried about that.
And the thing is, is like, here's the thing.
They're not finding
false stuff. If they were
just making things up or
accusing people of being communists
or something, then we have something
to worry about. But if they're just like,
hey, we dug into all
your previous records and you were getting
paid by somebody from another
country and you were trying to influence
this current election by volunteering in a volunteer capacity, paid by somebody from another country and you were trying to influence uh you know this per
this current election by volunteering a volunteer capacity but it doesn't matter you're still trying
to right influence the people on this side to get them to a table to talk about hillary well and
let's let's be entirely fair too like i would have a problem if they investigated and found
some unpaid traffic tickets and decided to make a big deal about that. Right.
Or they investigated and they found out that like you cheated a little on your income taxes. And now we're going to audit you for the next, you know, like, yeah, I'd be like, yeah, that's fucked up.
Right.
That's fucked up.
Right.
That's clear persecution.
Absolutely.
That's fucked up.
But that's not at all what's happening here.
It's not even remotely the case.
So I'm not worried.
Yeah.
These are not trumped up charges trumped up
that this is truly an abuse of power and ron rosenthal is supposed to be overseeing
this investigation and he should have fired moeller yesterday when this indictment came out
and if he couldn't have fired moeller for whatever personal reason he didn't want to do that he
should oh they want him they want him fired because he's saying things he didn't want to do that. He should... Oh, they want him fired
because he's saying things they don't want to hear.
I know, but it's like...
You can't call for his ouster
because he's found out
stuff you don't want to listen to. Of course.
You sound like a lunatic when you...
You sound like,
I'm hiding some stuff and I don't want
you to find it. This is tying a towel around
your head when you're afraid of something.
When you say,
this is that.
This is that.
If I can't see it,
it can't see me.
Do you remember,
have you ever been like,
when you're like a little kid
and you get caught doing something
and you're in the middle
and you get caught
and it's like,
I wasn't doing anything.
And you're like,
real fast,
would you say like,
I wasn't definitely
doing that right now.
Look the other way.
Don't open it.
Don't open the door, dad. Resign because he is
not fulfilling his duty of overseeing the special counsel so that it does not become outside the
scope of what a special counsel investigation should be. It's investigating Russia. It's
investigating contacts with Russia. And one were, one of them was charged with
conspiracy against the United States. I think that's perfectly within scope of this investigation.
Again, it's not like they went looking for his unpaid taxes or his, you know, traffic violations.
It's not what they found.
12 counts of things. 12 counts of things.
That's not one.
Yeah. And some of these are very serious crimes. Well, of course, the plain truth is that Rosenstein
is up to his ears
in the earlier
investigation started by
Mueller, the guy
in question now, and then carried
on by Comey of
actually, not just
collusion, not talking about it, but actually
selling 20% of our uranium
to the Russians. Rosenstein's name
is all over the documents that did that.
The uranium thing again.
And that's what Trump's been selling too. He's been trying to
push people and be like, hey guys,
the uranium thing, and
I recognize
when this week, when these things came out,
you had said, I think a good way to put this
was not, this is not
opening a door, but this might be a wedge
to get the door open
to see if there's something else that comes to this.
But when they got
Manafort and they got these other guys,
they got Gates and then Papadopoulos.
I did not think
that this was, this is not the kingdom coming down.
No, not yet.
I do think that it is, I'm hoping very much that this is the leading edge of an attack wedge, that this is not the kingdom coming down. No, not yet. I do think that it is.
I'm hoping very much
that this is the leading edge
of an attack wedge,
that it is the opening salvo
in a much larger set of charges.
Now, this battlefield
is rife with inaccuracy.
You dead people,
stop playing cards.
And Stonewall Jackson,
stop rollerblading.
Stonewall Jackson, stop rollerblading.
The South will boogie again.
This story is from CNN Politics.
Kelly, this is crazy.
Lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War.
So he's talking about the monument scandal.
Yeah.
That's what he's referring to to. And here he is.
He's a,
he's on a CNN.
He's talking about it.
Um,
we're just going to play his clip.
I would tell you that Robert E.
Lee was an honorable man.
He's an honorable man.
He's a slave owner,
right?
He's a slave owner who was the general for the piece of the country that
tried to violently leave the traders,
the trader side. Yeah. The losing trader side that wanted to violently leave the traders the trader side yeah the losing trader side this
that wanted to protect slavery yeah yeah okay all right honorable honorable uh he was a man that uh
gave like slaves yeah uh gave up his country to fight for his state which in which is being a
traitor yeah which is traitorous only definitionally. 50 years ago was more important than country.
It was always loyalty to state first back in those days.
Now it's different.
It wasn't for several of those states, it turns out.
Right, it wasn't for half of the northern.
And it turns out that he wasn't actually fighting for his state because he joined another confederacy.
Of states?
That was another bunch of states.
So a confederation of states, for example? There was two confederations of states that were fighting bunch of states. So a confederation of states,
for example?
There was two confederations of states that were fighting against each other.
One was the United States.
It's almost like they tried to form
a separate country
made up of a series of states.
That were already states
in the other country.
What was their big wedge issue?
I think it was something about...
Was it states' rights, Tom?
I think it was the states' rights
to own other people.
To own other people.
Got it.
Yeah, that was what the states
wanted the right to do.
Some people disagree on that.
Well, they're wrong
and don't know what they're talking about.
Today.
But the lack of an ability
to compromise
led to the Civil War.
The compromise on what?
You know, it's so weird
because I thought that...
What, the three-fifths compromise?
Here we go.
What are we talking about?
Here we go.
How do you compromise
on the issue of slavery?
Like, what is the compromise?
Here's the thing.
I want to own you.
Can we compromise
and say you get one month off a year?
How about if I don't own you,
but I just set the minimum wage
at $750 an hour?
Indefinitely.
We're going to call you
not slave.
That's bad.
We need a modifier.
You still earn a wage.
You could be a
something, something.
Wage slave.
Wage slave.
Wage slave. Americaage slave. Wage slave.
Yeah.
America, make great again.
This guy is talking about slavery as if there was no way to comp.
There's no way.
That's like being like, you know, I want to compromise with people who like murder children.
Well, it's like being a little pregnant.
Yeah.
Are we just going to own the ugly ones?
Slavery is binary.
Yeah.
Right?
It's either on or it's off.
There's no,
there's no like in between
where you'd be like,
well, can't we just compromise
and make sure that they're just not people?
We did that anyway.
What would the world look like
with any compromise?
Like any compromise would look something like,
you know,
you can't own more than a certain number of slaves
or, you know,
you can only have one generation of slaves or you can only own people on monday wednesday friday on tuesday
thursday they are freeze not free i don't know they gotta come back to the slaves next day i
don't know what world would you want to build in where slavery was not abolished yeah do you know
what i mean like any compromise means that slavery is not abolished. Do you know what I mean? Like, any compromise means that slavery is not
abolished. And the only way
to deal with slavery is to
recognize it as the inherently
morally evil thing that it is
and abolish and destroy it.
What compromise would you
have on that subject?
Do we just elect a bunch of people
who are just like, yeah, we're kind of rethinking
the slavery thing.
Maybe it wasn't so bad.
Doesn't it feel like that sometimes?
It feels like that right now sometimes.
Yeah.
Right?
It's like he's looking around and being like, yeah, it wasn't so bad for white people.
Yeah, no shit.
Right?
Yeah, no, they're fucking knocking it out of the park back then.
I gotta say, being waited on hand and foot by a house slave does sound kind of nice.
Well, yeah.
If you're a racist and you want to own people because you're evil.
Unbelievable.
It's not human intelligence.
This story is from Newsweek.
Is Alex Jones peddling lead-tainted sperm-killing products?
Sperm-killing?
I gotta say, if they are sperm-killing products, his fucking devotees should buy lots of these. I got to say if they are sperm killing products, his fucking
devotees should buy lots of these.
I mean, yes,
100%. I don't know that you could kill
X Jones's sperm. They're probably bench press
like 250. I feel like all the
steroids he does kills him
anyway. Tiny little balls.
I guess his back knee that he's rocking.
Little shriveled little balls.
But I guess toxic heavy metals have been found in the supplements that he sells on his website.
So his website is chock full.
If you go to Alex Jones InfoWare's website, his website is just chock full of all this crazy supplement garbage that he's hawking, right?
Yeah.
And it's crazy too because this is all that quackery stuff.
And it's all the quackery stuff that we've always pointed out in other people.
Right.
But he has the best audience for this stuff.
I mean, he genuinely has.
If you were going to sell fear of an organization in the doctors, like in medicine as an organization.
You know, he's a guy who has people who watch him
who believe in chemtrails.
They believe in second shooters
at all different kinds of events.
False flags.
False flags.
They believe in the JFK bullshit.
They believe in all kinds.
I'm talking about the JFK assassination
was assassinated by aliens
or whatever the fuck they believe.
All the goofy shit that they believe.
These people are credulous
and they line up
for all the other stuff that he
sells. So why not sell them one more conspiracy? Why not sell them one more conspiracy that all
the doctors are out to get you? And that all you need is these supplements because all these other
doctors, they've seen cancer walk right out of people. They've had a cancer patient on their
table and they've given them this fucking colloidal silver or whatever garbage you're going to sell them. And they got better. What better group of people to have as your audience
to sell that? That's why the religious people do this stuff all the time when they sell that
fucking get out of debt, free water and all that stuff. That's why the religious people fall for
it. And that's why these people fall for it. It's because they are primed. They have primed this
pump to feed these people this stuff. He's also a guy are primed. They have primed this pump to feed these
people this stuff. He's also a guy who sells easy answers, right? You know, that's the wonderful
thing about conspiracy theories is they're full of easy answers. They create a new narrative that is
in many ways more believable than somebody, we don't know why, just shot a lot of people.
That's a really uncomfortable thing to think about, right? Why did it happen? We don't know why, just shot a lot of people. That's a really uncomfortable thing to think about, right?
Why did it happen?
We don't know why.
What motivated them?
We're not sure.
Well, it's much more comforting in a lot of ways to believe, well, it was more than one person and this was their motivation and we know who they are.
And at least because knowing is always more comforting than not knowing, right?
Easy answers to difficult problems are part of conspiracy theories appeal, right? Easy answers to difficult problems are part of conspiracy theories.
Appeal, right? These products are the same thing. Oh man, I got, I'm always low on energy. I don't
feel good on here. Take this thing, take, take two ounces of this magic fucking juice and you'll
feel a little better. It's never, you don't feel good and you're always tired. You know what?
You're 40 pounds overweight and you eat fucking
Doritos every day. It's a lot harder to change
that than it is just to take a pill
or take a supplement or
juice instead of one of your
meals a day. Right. So
they want to sell the easy answer instead of the more
challenging answer, right? Even if the
more challenging answer in some cases
is more accurate. It's like the same thing with cancer.
It's shit like that. It's like, I thing with like cancer. It's shit like that.
It's like,
I got cancer.
That's sad.
And maybe there's,
maybe there's good treatment and maybe there's not.
And you know,
probably that answer is yes and no,
depending on the type of cancer and when you caught it.
You know,
it's complicated.
It's not complicated if it's,
here's some colloidal silver and it gets rid of it.
Yeah.
Or here's an alkaline diet or pee therapy from Brzezinski or whatever
it was that he was giving people. Easy answers sell
because they're comforting.
And in this particular
case, he's got a group
of people that are willing to buy all
of his supplements that he's probably
making a fucking killing on. He's got to be
fucking raking it in. And
they're finding lead in
these supplements. Am in amounts that is like
eight and nine times normal amount like of daily requirements like that daily requirements like
daily acceptable limits acceptable limits and the one thing that they did do though is they sent out
this is like whatever the garbage is like we say like this is saint john's wart or this is
you know seek help or whatever they didn't find that he's cheating people in that sense.
Right.
He's not, none of that stuff is coming.
A lot of that stuff is coming back and just like, no, it's basically what he's saying
it is.
Right.
Which some people don't even do.
Right.
There's some supplement companies out there that they say they're giving you St. John's
wort and they're giving you like fucking hay or something.
Yeah, they're giving you hay or, you know, fucking a little bit of spit in a bottle or
whatever.
Do you remember that story? We covered that
and it was like they did a test of a bunch of
those supplements and they had none of
the actual supplement in them. Some of them
don't even include it.
BuzzFeed did test them for this
and they said that they did include that stuff,
but it also included shit
with a bunch of lead in it. Right.
What I do feel bad is that these credulous folks,
they're buying this
trying to feel good.
Yeah.
They're buying this
trying to feel healthy, right?
And they're being misled
by somebody.
And I don't want to blame
the victim here.
No.
You know, who I blame
is Alex fucking Jones.
Sure.
100% Alex Jones.
It's evil.
It's mean-spirited
and it's cynical.
He knows his audience.
He knows this is
just a heaping bag of garbage
that he's selling.
He knows that what this is is a a profit margin and have nothing else. And he's selling it and he's preying on people who
just want to feel well. That's all they want. They've ever been sick, like sick, sick people.
They're the most vulnerable people. They are. They're absolutely vulnerable because they're
stuck in, they're stuck in a situation that might be very bleak for them. Right. And so they're stuck in they're stuck in a situation that might be very bleak for them right and so
they're vulnerable they're influenced they're easily influenced it's a bad situation to be in
it's not their fault you are watching the beginning and the birth of the new world order
and you want to call me crazy, go to hell.
Call me crazy all you want.
So this story comes from Media Matters.
Now, this isn't Alex Jones.
This is an Alex Jones stand-in.
I guess Alex Jones was bench-pressing or something.
Reporter for Alex Jones' InfoWars says, Hitler is alive and the U.S. government is covering it up.
Huh.
Okay.
Well, reporter Owen Scherer is the guest host.
Wow.
Welcome in to the Alex Jones Show, folks.
It's amazing.
Here we are.
So much news, and the news is so big, and the news is so frequent.
The news is frequent?
What a goofy fucking thing to say.
The news is frequent.
Yeah, if you have a daily news show, you're going to go out and find
new
things
for the news.
Biggest news every day becomes
a back page story the next day.
Because you said it the day before.
That's how that works. And you don't want to say this
like, it's not you to go to the editor and be like,
remember that story we ran yesterday?
I say we just run that fucking thing again
maybe you can get a you can get a full
weeks run out of like a 9-11
right it's not like
the news is a fucking variety clip
show and you're just like I don't know what we
do Thursday do that one again that was
playing the same clip over and over again
it's not like the toaster shake and
the Las Vegas
masker cover-up there was no cover-up
he doesn't know shrugs his shoulders he made it yeah he made that up so nothing yeah what would
you report there's no news but we don't know yeah there was a cover-up there doesn't seem to be any
evidence there's no evidence of a cover-up seems like a one guy and nobody really knows why he did
it they're hiding the real truth by not. And that is sad.
And that is sad. And it's
one of those things that we look at and we go, fuck, man, I wish
I knew why. Yeah.
Why did somebody snap like that?
Maybe we could prevent it. Yeah.
You know? I know. I mean, it's
in our nature to understand why. You know?
It's in our nature to say, like, this terrible
chain of events occurred and I want to
understand what goes wrong in the human machine that causes this to occur and it sucks sometimes we don't get
to know and it sucks to be the person to be like man i wish i knew but i don't yeah but you don't
okay that's it yeah sometimes we don't know everything yeah the jfk files being declassified
hitler still alive what hitler is still. How old would Hitler be right now?
When was Hitler born?
Adolf Hitler was born
April 20th, 1889.
He's
128 years old.
Spry the
motherfucker.
Ah!
It's like
kill me God. me oh could you i was fucking still what a stupid hillary is still alive what
a stupid thing to say and the reason why they're saying this tom is because somebody found in one
of the one of the jfk documents that was released at least i thought i saw this this week somebody
had found a comment about hit Hitler being alive after the war
and that there was a cover-up,
but it was a comment by just some random jamoke
that happened to be cataloged in the JFK file
that really wasn't like by like,
it wasn't like JFK before he died,
turned to fucking somebody who's like,
guess how you know Hitler's alive.
And then he gets shot or something.
Yeah, and then the next moment, his fucking throat is in the front seat oh god it's just i i i'm amazed that those jew hearts kept
him along for so alive for so long god he just i expected a few extra years don't get me wrong
you gotta fresh squeeze them that's the key he's got like one of those like orange juicing machines
like the little little boobies on them.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's got the reamer in it.
It's like a zester.
It's a reamer.
There you go.
I'm going to ream that Jew heart.
Live forever.
Tell you what.
It's funny, too, because these JFK files got released last week, was it?
I think last week, yeah.
And I remember seeing a reddit thread and the reddit
thread basically was like any bombs in any big revelation that anybody's finding in these in
these jfk files that got released and there was one or two things that were interesting but right
underneath was a comment that was basically like yeah you misunderstand that document you
misunderstood that that document wasn't a person of like that has any authority saying that that was just like a testimony of some
random person or somebody got interviewed and everything gets put in.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And so there's a bunch of this stuff that,
that came out like three or four things,
but most of them were just,
all you had to do was read the second comment.
You'd be like,
Oh,
okay,
well that's nothing.
Then there was nothing.
There was nothing that nobody was like,
Oh,
this proves anything after it all got released. I was just like, yeah, nobody died. There was no, no hubbub after it was nothing. There was nothing. Nobody was like, oh, this proves anything. After it all got released, I was just like, yeah, nobody.
There was no hubbub after it was done.
They just released the files and nobody cared.
Because it's uninteresting information.
It happened 50 fucking years ago.
At some point, it's like, yeah, all right.
He died.
The dude died a fucking half a century ago.
Half a century ago.
And it happened how they said it happened.
Right.
All the history textbooks we lied to us.
I was lied to my entire life about JFK.
I'm lying to you right now.
Was he Hitler?
Knowingly by my government.
I was lied to my entire life about Hitler.
Knowingly by my government.
And that's just a non-story now.
Because you've got another radical truck running people down in the streets.
Folks, I'm Owen Troyer filling in for Alex Jones today, but do not be afraid because we have
a ton of great guests today. We will be hearing from Alex Jones in the next segment. And then
David Knight will be joining me in studio. Paul Joseph Watson will be Skyping in from his basement.
From his mom's basement, from Europe,
where the trucks are out of control in Europe,
folks.
We got to do something about these trucks before they make it here.
We don't have trucks.
No,
those trucks,
the trucks are out of control in Europe.
And then they have the big floaty tires and they're just going to come over.
Next year.
Sometime.
Fuck.
Somebody stopped the trucks. America! Somebody stop the trucks.
America's made out of trucks.
Just lead them into the doldrums and they'll just be stuck
there.
We're made in time.
We put balls on our trucks.
Bring those fuckers over here. We'll put nuts on them.
We'll strap a fucking gun rack to the back
of that thing. We'll have seven American flags.
Fucking chrome balls on there.
Get the fuck out of here.
We got to stop those trucks
before they make it to America.
What are you talking about?
There's a lot of trucks here.
We don't need to import trucks.
What a stupid fucking thing to say.
We're built for trucks.
We export trucks.
So I want to thank our new patrons,
Joe, David, Julie, Kralf, Michelle, Thomas,
Holly, Kay, Sargon's smug fucking face,
Tamara, Wang Dang sweet eggnog,
Eric, Soren, Kevin, Sharon Frankel hosted the delightful podcast, Habeas Humor.
Yvonne, Emily, Angela, Hai Ting sings songs of science.
Mike, Steve, Colton, Pete, Jacob, Fred, Tyler, Lynette, Andreas, Sonia, 11 Engineer, Intelligirl, Mike, Ashley, Shane, Josh, Spencer, Jeff, Hertzie, and yeah.
Thanks so much for your generous donations.
We really do truly appreciate it. You guys are the reason Glory Hole Studios exists.
You're the reason we're able to travel to Australia
to visit fans.
So I want to thank you
so much for that.
Thank you.
We're also going to be adding
another employee
to the family soon.
We're not going to talk
about it yet,
but we are going to...
We don't want to get people
sending in resumes yet.
Right.
But we are going to add
another employee
when we get back in December.
Sharpen your pencils for me.
Keep them sharp.
We're not asking for resumes yet, though.
We're going to do a little bit of email here.
We got an image for a donkey
with a hat on from Amrit, and we're going
to put it on this week's show notes.
Exactly what I was hoping for.
I wanted the sombrero hat, and I got it.
I wanted the dirty secretary,
and I got that on Pornhub.
We got a message. I love this.
This is from Darcy and Darcy
sent us this image.
It's not really an image.
It's a news story about
a hipster nativity scene
and the images on here, we'll put a link on this week's show
and it's hilarious. The mom
and dad taking a selfie with their baby.
Mom's got a cup of Starbucks.
Dad's just got a fucking hipster beard.
Yeah.
Barefoot.
And then there's three.
The three wise men are on Segways and they have Amazon boxes under their arms.
And a fedora.
It's fucking awesome.
So check it out.
We'll put it on this week's show notes.
This is episode 385. Somebody sent a whiskeyora. It's fucking awesome. So check it out. We'll put it on this week's show notes. This is episode 385.
Somebody sent a
whiskey sent us this.
This is a website we're going to put on this week's show notes.
It's called True Size Of.
And so you can select one of the countries
on the map. We're talking
about the size of Africa. And you can
select one of the countries on the map.
There's three of them that are out there.
There's China. There's India, and there's the United States. And you can move them.
And as you move them farther down toward the poles, they get larger as they move down to
sort of show the true size of what the country actually is, the farther down away from the equator they are.
And so to represent it easier on a globe.
And so when you move the countries around,
especially the United States,
it totally fits in the top part of Africa.
It easily fits in the half of Africa.
Yeah, up in the top part. And then if you position these right,
India can fit down at the bottom,
and then China basically takes up the rest of it.
You could have those three countries
and they fit in Africa, no problem.
We're going to put a link on this week's show notes
so you can play around with it.
We got a question.
This is from Theo and he says,
what canned food can you eat right out of the can
and be shamelessly satisfied
or fucking privately satisfied?
What canned food
can you eat directly out?
And I know exactly what I'm going to say.
Well, I want to hear yours first.
Jellied cranberries.
The cranberry sauce right out of the can.
Oh, yeah?
You like that stuff?
You can eat it right out of the can.
You can?
Do you like that stuff?
I like it.
Sure, I like it.
I haven't had that since I was...
As soon as I found out
you could make your own,
it was so easy. Yeah. I made my own because I remember like... My? I like it. Sure. I like it. I haven't had that since I was, I've made, as soon as I found out you could make your own, it was so easy.
Yeah.
I made my own.
Cause I remember like my dad hated that shit.
But I remember at Thanksgiving,
which is coming up,
like I remember my aunt like,
like plopping it out and slicing it on the plate.
And I remember it had the ridges of the can still like embedded in it and
everything.
And I remember being like,
ah,
it doesn't,
that didn't appeal to me,
but it tastes fine. I'm sure. It's the easiest thing in the world to make. I love it., that didn't appeal to me, but it tastes fine, I'm sure.
It's the easiest thing in the world to make.
I love it.
And it is super easy to make,
but you got to go buy cranberries and stuff
and that stuff just comes in a can.
Put it in the fridge for a little while,
take it out,
open the can up
and it's perfect right out of the can.
Is it really?
I love it.
I think it's great.
I think it's great.
Maybe I'll serve it.
I don't know.
So I haven't had anything.
I haven't eaten a food straight out of a can.
And I don't even remember how long.
But I will say when I was a kid, this is disgusting.
When I was a kid, and I mean, this is up until I was 15 or 16.
Dinty Moore beef stew.
Yeah.
I would open that.
It's fucking looks and smells like dog food.
Yeah.
But because it's dog food.
It is dog food.
Let's be brutally honest.
It is dog food. It is dog food. I would eat that dog food out Yeah. But, and because it's dog food, it's just, let's be, let's be brutally honest. It is dog food.
It is dog food.
I would eat that dog food
out of the fucking can.
I used to.
Same thing with,
like the,
the canned peaches
and like the canned like.
Yeah.
Any kind of,
the thing is about fruits
and vegetables
and things like that is
they are picked right
when they are ripe
and then they're put in cans.
And so some of that,
like I think canned corn is very good.
I think it's excellent corn.
So certain vegetables and things, I don't think,
I mean, it almost feels like I'm cheating
by saying cranberry sauce, you know what I mean?
Because they're picked at the height of the season
and they're cooked into this thing
and then they have the gelatin added or whatever
and then they're put into this can.
So they're cooked and processed right away.
So I almost feel like you're cheating at that point.
You gotta have something like you, right? where you're saying like didn't anymore nobody
would fucking eat that nobody's gonna go out of the way for me when i was a kid it was the raviolis
it was chef boyardee ravioli i used to love them i had them maybe seven or eight years ago i saw
them and i bought them i bought a can they're disgusting they are so fucking horrifyingly terrible it is uh it is shocking how
bad they are i had god this isn't the way back machine but maybe like 15 years ago or so something
came over me and i was like i'm gonna try spaghettios again they had to be so bad you can't
know you cannot know you're right i can't i never liked spaghettios when i was a kid i can't know. You cannot know. You're right. I can't. I never liked SpaghettiOs when I was a kid.
So I can't imagine. The little
meatballs in there. Oh my God. The little meatballs
are like, they're like
testicles. They're so
they're just
like you, I plurped it
out because that's what it does. It does. It plurps.
Absolutely. That's the perfect word for it. And I looked
at it and I smelled it. I was like, I'm still going to
try it. And I warmed it up in the microwave because it's garbage food.
So I warmed it up in the microwave and then I was like,
here we go down the hatch.
It tastes like,
it tastes like noodles that have been boiled till they quit.
Like till they're just like,
fuck it.
We're not even noodles.
That's the thing is that they,
that everything is cooked so badly and for so long. It're just like fuck it we're not even noodles that's the thing is that they that everything is cooked so badly yeah and for so long it's just like it's it's impossible to enjoy
and that's how that's what i felt about those raviolis because you cut into it and you're like
okay that i remember when i was a kid i'd be like oh man the fucking meat raviolis you eat that shit
out of them i take one bite out of it i'm like it tastes like somebody filled it doesn't taste
like meat it tastes like meat substitute yeah and it's like and it tastes like somebody filled. It doesn't taste like meat. It tastes like meat substitute.
Yeah.
And it's like, and it's in this gross fucking wrapper thing that like, it's supposed to be a pasta, but it's, it's long since lost all semblance of pasta.
It's now like a gluten bag.
And you're just like, I don't know.
That's not very good.
So send us when you were a kid, what things did you, if you ate things out of a can, what
was your thing of choice?
And if you had the horrible experience that Tom and I had with it later on in life, send
us a message and let us know what your thing was.
Yeah.
I swear those, the SpaghettiOs were basically like Cheerio shaped boogers.
They're disgusting.
They were amazingly bad.
It's disgusting.
Got an image from Aaron.
I love this.
We're going to put it on this week's show notes.
It's a Trump image.
So check it out.
Great job.
385.
Tom, we got a message, pretty heartfelt message from Greg.
Yeah.
So Greg was relating a story, just kind of a sad story and a personal story.
I don't want to go through too much of it.
But I'm just saying that, you know, it's a big deal when you teach kids that magic and
reality blend together.
It's a really big deal and it's problematic. deal when you teach kids that magic and reality blend together. It's a really big deal
and it's problematic.
I totally agree. What I really want to read
from his email is the PS. He's talking
about a wake that he had attended. He says,
at the wake, after my diplomacy failed,
I reminded the priest that the money he passes
on from collection plates every week
buys houses in Spain
for rapists of children.
Somehow, I came off as the asshole.
I wasn't the one who bought a house
for a rapist.
That's great.
Keep your head up, Greg.
We got a bunch of people
who donated money to the charity
It Gets Better.
It Gets Better Project.
Remember that if you go to
last week's show notes,
384, donate and send us proof we are going to
match up to $2,000 we're coming close
to that goal but we'd love it if
a few more people would donate so we can get up close
to it we're about like right now we're at about
$1,200 we'd like to see a little bit more money
come in so we can match that
$2,000 of our money to go
to it gets better we think that
you know a good $4,000 is a nice
round number to help that project out.
It's such a worthwhile cause.
It's a great, worthwhile project.
We got a message from Ryan
and Ryan said that he was listening to us
on a radio setup
and he must have pressed a button,
turned on AM Christian radio,
and he's completely confused.
After a while,
we didn't cut in to the Christian radio host
with a dick joke.
He's like sitting there listening to 20 Minutes.
He's like,
they're really waiting a long time before they go.
Really letting them go.
Yeah.
We got lazy.
Now we're just playing.
Now we're just playing it.
Yeah.
We got a great message from Adam.
And Adam says that if we don't die in Australia from all the horrible things that can attack
us and kill us, he's going to donate $500 to a charity of our choice.
How awesome is that? That's really great. Thank you
so much. We'll let you know what it is when we
do the next Vulgarity for Charity is what we'll do.
So I want to talk real quick.
He gives us some shit that can kill us
when we're over there. I think
Cecil, you and I should just pick something off
of this list to try to get...
Yeah, right. Okay.
And you know, I got to tell you, my favorite one...
My favorite one on here is the con because only in Australia could even have
this.
The common death adder.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
How do you have a death adder?
That's like,
I don't know which death adder is it?
Oh,
that's just the regular one.
That's not a special death adder.
That's the common.
Oh,
it's just the normal everyday run of the mill death adder.
So many things. There's so many things.
It's so ridiculous.
The smooth toadfish.
The fuck?
There's a whole bunch of stuff.
Highland copperhead.
Bunch of snakes.
You got to go looking for some of this stuff, I think.
Giant centipede.
Those things are fucking huge.
You seen those things?
No.
Oh, my God.
They're like as big as your foot.
What?
Fucking enormous.
What?
Yeah, big motherfuckers
oh yeah that's a lot like that number two is the honeybee i'm glad i'm just staying and fucking in
uh in a fucking hotel the whole time that sounds great to me just got a message uh this is from bob
and bob uh just started listening to the show and one of the things he was wondering about was
our stance on uh not giving any quarter to racists.
He said, you know, how is this different than if you were to withhold services from an LGBT person or if you were to discriminate against somebody if they were atheist?
And one of the things that we've talked about many times on this show is that an LGBT person is someone who we believe should be a protected class. They're not
in all states, but they are in some states, a protected class. LGBT, being somebody who's
in the LGBT community means that you did not choose your sexuality. It's an orientation,
but it is not something that you decided. There was no determination to decide it. So you can't
give it up. You can't be like, well, I want to give that up. And so for things you can't choose, like skin color, gender, your sexual orientation,
those things don't, you don't get to discriminate against those things.
But you can not be a racist.
You can just not be a racist.
And that's perfectly fine.
Yeah.
And two of the challenges in this email I want to address, the first is whether or not
those people should be, because I said I'd fire those people.
If I found out somebody had marched in some racist march that worked for me, I'd fire them.
I stand behind that 100%.
I stand behind that because this is somebody that's got to represent me and my company
and work with the people in my building.
So if I know somebody is a racist and they have to deal with a vendor or they have to
deal with a client and that client happens to be somebody of color, how do I know that they're then going to represent
my company in a way that's not racist?
Yeah.
Right?
I don't.
I think now that they harbor an ideology which will influence their ability to make good
decisions, right, within my company.
I also would be concerned that they would make people within my company that they are
racist toward people of color uncomfortable.
And then I also would worry that my customers would find out that I employ a racist and stop doing business with me.
So I have an HR issue with my internal people.
I have an issue potentially with the quality of their work in terms of how they'll interface with vendors and clients.
And I have an issue with revenue production.
So all of those things would be problematic for me.
He also says, you know, what about free speech?
Well, free speech and consequences are not the same thing.
Free speech is the government can't tell you what to do.
These guys can go out and be racist.
I'm not saying don't, if you're a racist and you want to shout it from the rooftop,
go ahead and shout it from the rooftop.
I am not infringing upon your right to do that in any way by saying, okay, but when I find out what your speech is, I will react to your speech.
Reacting to someone's speech is not violating their free speech.
They're still allowed to say it.
I get to fire them on Tuesday, and they can still go out on Wednesday and march into March, and they can stand on the street corner and yell whatever hateful shit they want to have.
They can have a conference with speakers and they can do all that.
Absolutely.
There's nothing that's going to stop them from that.
Their freedom of speech has not changed one iota.
All that has happened is that the inevitable consequences to their ideology have reached them.
In this email, it's like,
what measure do you hold one human being
as being worthless as?
Well, I don't know that this person is worthless,
but they're certainly not welcome.
Yeah.
Right?
I don't need to make room in my life
for people that have this set of beliefs.
I don't make,
and I think that's entirely fair.
We choose our friends, right?
We choose, we are very picky and choosy about who we have in our life.
We don't have just the six first people we met today in our lives.
We're always picking and choosing people who feel similarly about the world and how to navigate it as us.
So it's entirely fair to do this.
Yeah, I don't see any problem with making sure the people around you are good people.
And I don't see the problem with that at all.
I find those views abhorrent.
I find those views awful.
And if a person like the guy
who was praised by Obama and Hillary Clinton,
who was a KKK guy who renounced it all
and said, I'm real sorry.
If I met a racist that was not a racist anymore, that was like, man,
I'm fucking done with racism. I was a shitty,
awful person. I wouldn't hold that against
them at all. Right. I wouldn't either. And that's not the
same thing as we've talked about forgiveness before.
That's not the same thing. That's changing your mind.
It's not, it's no longer holding.
Now, it would be different if I found out
like, that dude stomped somebody to death.
Okay, fucking little, little fucking
black church on fire or something.
If somebody had a bad set of ideas
and they no longer hold that bad
set of ideas, great. Who you
are today matters, right?
The set of ideas and values that you hold
at the time that we meet, that matters.
That's what I'm going to say. Okay, that's cool.
But your actions also matter.
If there's shit that you've done, some things
in my personal dealings with people, there's no takesies-backsies on some shit.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
All right, so that's going to wrap it up for this week.
We're going to leave you, like we always do, with the Skeptic's Creed.
Credulity is not a virtue.
It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue, hypno-Babylon bullshit.
Mommy issue.
Hypno Babylon.
Bullshit.
Couched in.
Scientician.
Double bubble.
Toil and trouble.
Pseudo quasi alternative.
Acupunctuating.
Pressurized.
Stereogram.
Pyramidal.
Free energy.
Healing.
Water.
Downward spiral.
Brain dead.
Pan.
Sales pitch.
Late night.
Info docutainment.
Leo Pisces.
Cancer cures.
Detox.
Reflex.
Foot massage.
Death in towers.
Tarot cards. Psych psychic healing, crystal balls
Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens
churches, mosques and synagogues
temples, dragons, giant worms
Atlantis, dolphins, truthers
birthers, witches, wizards
vaccine nuts
shaman healers, evangelists, conspiracy
double speak, stigmata
nonsense
expose your sides thrust your hands and healers, evangelists, conspiracy, double-speak stigmata, nonsense.
Expose your sides.
Thrust your hands.
Bloody, evidential, conclusive.
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