Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 543: RBG and Breonna Taylor
Episode Date: September 28, 2020Stories from the Week...
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It's skeptical. It's political.
And there is no welcome at.
This is episode 543 of Cognitive Dissonance.
Cecil, how's your week going, man?
Well, my week, Tom, is doing better than all of democracy.
I can at least say that with confidence with fucking
confidence you're not at all wrong you are not at all right that's a low bar it turns out to do
better than democracy this week that's yeah right yeah yeah yeah i mean how do you have one week
where you kick it twice while it's down you know because? Because it's just seven days.
Just never stops.
Where do we start?
Do you want to start with Bader Ginsburg
or do you want to start with Breonna Taylor?
Which one do you want to go with?
Oh, I don't know.
Why don't I pull some of my teeth out
with a pair of pliers while I'm at,
while we're talking about fun things.
I don't know.
We really, I think really,
there's only three stories to cover
before we start talking about stories.
It's Ginsburg.
It's Breonna Taylor.
And it's Trump said maybe he's not leaving the White House.
You know.
Even if he loses.
I know that that's in the news this week, right?
But he's been making these rumblings for a long time.
This is not new.
It's not new news, really.
Because he has sort of been saying this and they've been
trying to corner him on this for a long time. And he's always either made a really obscenely
unconstitutional statement or he said something else that is that is bonkers and stupid.
But it's it's it's sort of been building to this. Now, this week, he literally said some
fucking despotic
fucking Banana Republic
bullshit that he said,
but it has,
I feel like that's been building for a while.
Don't you think so? I mean, hasn't he been at least
alluding to it for a long time? Oh, yeah.
I mean, you're not at all wrong. He's certainly
been, but I think there's a difference between
like, well, we'll see,
which you can interpret as I'm not going to lose,
so I'm not even going to entertain such a silly question.
Ha ha ha.
To like, yeah, I'm not fucking going anywhere.
Or like, I think they should give me a third term
because I didn't get a good shot at my first one.
You know, to like, yeah, I'm not,
there's not going to be a transfer of power i'm just not
i'm not going anywhere not going to go anywhere yeah so i just like like that's like how overt
like just how i guess you're just like holy shit like we're not like we're not playing games with
semantics anymore we're not like fiddling around the edge like we're just sticking our finger right
in there it's that's a bold move i mean, you know, it depends on the recipient, I guess.
And I'm actually at least reassured by a couple of the people that have come out and said,
shut the fuck up, basically. I mean, you know, I feel a little reassured by that. I think Mitch
McConnell came out and said something and a couple other people
like generals and whatnot have said,
no,
there's going to be a peaceful transfer of power.
Don't be fucking stupid.
So I feel a little more reassured by that,
but it's,
it's still one of the things that you're just like,
yep,
totally.
It could be a civil war this year.
How's your,
where you're going?
Right.
Yeah.
I mean,
like,
you know,
you're sort of like,
okay,
well it would be in keeping with the theme. of throwing guys. Yeah. I mean, like, you're sort of like, okay, well,
it would be in keeping
with the theme.
Like, it's not,
it's not outside
the general theme
of 2020.
I will say this.
Here's the thing, Tom,
about a civil war.
At least I'm going to get
out of the house
for a little while,
which is nice.
It's nice to get out
of the house,
see friends,
you know,
those types of things.
Even if I am plotting
some sort of terrorist attack, I mean, you know, I don't know.
I don't know what I'm going to be doing in a couple months, you know.
Who knows?
Just fuck.
Well, I don't know.
Also, don't look to me to plot anything.
I'm terrible at plotting, okay?
I'm just not good.
I failed algebra.
I can't even graph much less plot.
Are you kidding me?
I don't know.
Are you kidding me?
I'm fucking terrible at trigonometry. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? It's like a terrible
trigonometry. Get out of here.
Let's talk about Breonna Taylor
this week because the
decision comes down
from
Yeehaw
district attorney down there
who basically says,
yeah,
we're only going to charge
the guy who missed her.
We're going to go.
Yeah.
Like when boss hog,
like said that I was like,
what the fuck?
I couldn't believe it.
I just like,
I,
and you know,
it's not that I couldn't believe it
because it's perfectly believable.
But the,
the fact is,
is that if you're not familiar
with the Brianna Taylor case,
the, I'm going to, I'm going to really break it down.
But I suggest you go seek out good news sources. Don't look at fucking Charlie Kirk's video or whatever.
Go look at a reputable news source.
I would suggest the Daily Podcast on the Breonna Taylor murder. because in my opinion, they did some investigative journalism around it
where they actually went and interviewed
all the people who lived nearby
to get what they thought about it
and what they heard that night.
They also got a hold of the tapes,
like the investigation tapes that the police had.
So, you know, like the police are recording
these investigations and they
have those tapes. You can listen to what the people actually say. So my suggestion would go
find something like that so you can educate yourself on it. But, um, but you know, a real
brief, uh, uh, synopsis is she was dating a guy who was, uh guy who was wanted by the police and he was known to hang out. He's
involved in drugs and he was known to hang out at several different locations. Her house happened to
be one of those locations, but they had been broken up for some time at that point. And I
think he was even in jail at that point. And so her house was listed as a place where they, like a place of
interest that they wanted to break into. And so they were doing this, these, a bunch of these
raids. Well, hers was initially a no knock raid and then, and then said to be a knock raid. I guess
it was downgraded or whatever. The police go to her house. She's in bed with her new boyfriend.
They just watched Netflix. They eat cookies and fucking ate ice cream
and went to sleep watching Netflix.
And they hear this bang on the door.
Well, her boyfriend thinks it's her ex-boyfriend
and he legally has a firearm.
So they keep hearing this bang on the door
with no announcement of who it is.
They interviewed something like 14 neighbors
and 13 of them said
they never heard the word police at all.
Someone did say they heard.
What did the body camera say?
No, Tom, that is an interesting question
because they didn't have any.
That's crazy because that would fucking settle the question there.
That would certainly settle
a lot of questions.
They break in the door. They literally
knock the door off the hinges and this guy doesn't know what's happening. So they break in the door. They literally knock the door off the hinges
and this guy doesn't know what's happening. So he fires one shot. Damn good shot hits this cop
right near his femoral artery, fucking hits him, boom, right in the leg. Cop falls down.
But once the cop falls down, now it's fucking shoot out at the old K Corral for these police
officers. They start lighting this place up and then one cop runs around
to the outside of the building
and just blindly fires into the window
through the blinds,
shooting at this place up
like it's fucking,
like seriously,
like it's an old timey saloon.
And so he just unloads his clip.
Everybody's shooting,
going crazy.
They retreat.
They don't actually go in. They retreat. After they shoot, they leave. They got this guy who's down and bleeding.
So they put a tourniquet on his leg and they drag him away. Well, she just bleeds to death
right there. She gets shot, bleeds to death right there. They didn't know it was the police.
Nobody knew it was the police. They literally came in, blew the door off the hinges. And then
after knocking supposedly several times, and a lot of people did corroborate that they did knock several times, but they never announced who they were.
And so, you know, if somebody breaks in your house, what do you do?
You know, you legally have a gun.
Maybe you shoot them, and that's what happened.
And then suddenly it's the police, and this is the real problem.
Suddenly it's, it's the police. And this is, this is the, this is the real problem.
The police have no, there's no repercussions when they are reckless, when they are reckless with what they do. There's no, there has to be some sort of malicious intent by a police officer
in order for someone to prosecute him. You can, you know, you can, if I'm a fucking over the road
trucker and I'm running late and I dip over the double yellow to pass a slow car and I hit someone head on, you know, wow, sorry, I was just late.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I was reckless, but I didn't mean it.
Like I'm still going to fucking jail, man.
Everybody else on the planet is fucking liable for what they do when they're reckless except for police officers.
It's insane, man.
It is. And the whole thing is just, I mean, think about what a fucking no-knock warrant,
how can that even be something that we should as a public accept? A no-knock warrant.
If I'm sitting at home in the middle of the night, sleeping or or i'm at home i'm minding my own business and without any warning or announcement my door just gets kicked the fuck in you know they don't
even have to be in uniform in some states they don't even have to be in uniform and people just
barge into the fucking house like you're going to think that you are the subject of a home invasion
because a that's literally what's happening.
And B, you have seconds.
It's not like that's not happening.
Right.
You have seconds to react.
The only difference is the home invasion is somehow legal.
But that's bonkers.
Why in the world would that ever be legal?
How is that safe for the cops?
How is that?
I know that's safe because it's like the element of surprise or whatever on a high.
But it's also like, holy shit, like somebody blows my fucking door open. I'm just some regular guy.
Like, I think I've got to protect my fucking family. You know, we we think about it only in
terms of like, boy, if they got the right guys, they if they're really knocking the door down
for these uber dangerous, hyper sophisticated criminals, right? Then a no knock
warrant. Boy, that makes a lot of sense. But that's a fucking fantasy. That's bullshit.
That's crazy. We shouldn't have such a thing. Like the police, we don't want to live in a
police state. The police should not have the authority to show up not in uniform and blast
your fucking door in with a battering ram in the middle of the night.
And then when you think somebody is invading your home because literally someone's invading your
home and you seek to defend yourself, not only are you in the wrong, legally in the wrong for
doing that, when in any other circumstance, you would be 100% justified, right? There's no other
circumstance where somebody else,
there's no other human being
that can kick your fucking door in with a gun
and you can't be like,
shit, and defend yourself.
Unless they're cops,
which you don't know they're cops
and maybe you've got a split second.
It makes me crazy
because the fucking split second argument
is the argument that's always used
to get cops out of trouble, right? Yeah, to justify their actions. Oh, you had a split second argument is the argument that's always used to get cops out of trouble, right?
Yeah, to justify their actions, yes.
Oh, he had a split second to react. He had a split second to react. He feared for his life. Really?
Well, how about when that motherfucker busted a fucking door down and slammed his way into my
home in the middle of the night while I was fucking sleeping? Maybe I had a split second to react.
It turns out I shouldn't even be on alert for that,
unlike the cops who should arguably be on fucking alert for that kind of shit.
In the middle of the night, I should be on the alert for indigestion, maybe,
if I ate too much ice cream before falling asleep.
That's it.
Right.
Right.
That's it.
I don't give a fuck who you are. I don't care what your job is.
You don't have a right to slam my fucking door open in the middle of the night without
knocking, without announcing yourself.
That's crazy.
The problem, part of the problem I was thinking about this is that because that is legal,
the grand jury is probably armed.
Their arms are probably tied, right?
Because the grand jury isn't there to say whether or not something is right or wrong.
They're there to say whether or not a law was broken.
Well, if it's legal for the cops to execute
a no-knock warrant,
if that's what the law says,
and if it's legal for the cops to return fire
when they're fired upon,
even if it's fucking crazy,
shooting through the walls, whatever,
like, then the grand jury's like, yeah, that's, it shouldn't be legal.
It should, it should absolutely be wrong.
It's there.
That's a murder.
But like, we have laws that are just like, yeah, but the cops are allowed to murder.
They're just allowed to do it.
It's not even like, like, like, could they have returned a different verdict and followed
the letter of the law?
And I don't know.
And that's the thing.
That's the thing.
You don't know,
right?
You're not sure because,
because the way,
you know,
and that's the thing is when you're looking at these laws,
you might look at it and say,
no,
they did what was what,
what we allow police officers to do,
which is a travesty of justice.
But still that's what we allow them to do.
We've all just agreed that police officers the police
officers are um they they are essentially above the law and can do literally whatever they want
whenever they want and there's no repercussions or little repercussions for it and that's just
true man yeah once in a great while when a cop accidentally kills a white guy, they may go to jail.
Maybe, maybe, right? Look at the world. What happened with Laquan McDonald? They gave that
guy second degree murder. He literally just opens up on this guy, shoots him in the back. How many
times? And they're like, no, that's, yeah, but it's second degree murder. What are you talking about?
Yeah, he shot that guy. They shot Laquan McDonald
as Laquan McDonald was actively running away.
Like, what the fuck?
There is no world where any of that should be.
How is that only second degree?
You have plenty of time.
How is that not like?
We're living in a world where Breonna Taylor How is that not like, we're just,
we're living in a world
where Breonna Taylor,
who's just like,
what is she,
like a nursing student
or something?
Like what was it?
She was,
I thought she was a nurse.
I thought she was like
a nurse's assistant
or something.
She was like actually in the.
This is just somebody
who's asleep in their house.
Yeah.
I sleep in my house
every fucking day
and it would be
a real fucking problem
for me
if the police fucking knocked my door down and fucking murdered my wife.
That would be a fucking thing.
And you know what?
It would be a problem.
And it would make a get a lot more fucking attention because I'm a white guy.
Yeah, it would be.
It would just be different.
It wouldn't be like, well, you know, they made a mistake.
And maybe, you know, maybe she shouldn't have been dating a drug dealer months ago in the first.
Get the fuck out of here.
They shouldn't have even served the warrant in the first place.
They already got the guy.
The guy they were looking for, they'd already got that guy.
There was no need to even serve the warrant.
Everybody involved, because the warrant itself didn't even need to be served,
everybody involved should be in fucking jail right now.
Everybody.
They fired some of these guys for this, right?
So they went through the process of being like,
no, man, you can't.
Even we don't do what you did.
Like even us fucking people who are above the law
see what you did as too much above the law the department looked at what
they did and said man fucking that's fucked up what you guys did holy shit but but somehow our
government thinks no it's cool and the way the guy presented it too is like justice is hard and
sometimes it doesn't go with the rule of the mob or blah blah blah and you're just like get the
fuck out of here man you know it's not the rule of the mob that's not a rule of the mob or blah, blah, blah. And you're just like, get the fuck out of here,
man. You know, it's not the rule of the mob. That's not a rule of the mob. It's just, you know,
it's people who want to just fucking maybe live in their own house and not get murdered by police
who should not be there, who should not be serving a warrant. We live in a country that is just
insane when it comes to police overreach. It's just constant and it never stops and it keeps getting worse.
I mean, today I watched on Twitter,
there was a guy on the ground
and a cop takes his bicycle as he's walking up.
This guy's on the ground.
He rolls over the guy's head on a bicycle.
He takes his bicycle and rolls over the guy's head
who's on the ground.
Yeah, I watched it on Twitter today.
Like the guy is on the ground,
laying on the ground and someone walks up and I don't know. Like, the guy is on the ground, laying on the ground, and someone walks up, and I don't
know, maybe the guy's trying to do, like,
what they do with bulldozers
or whatever, when they try to lay in front of the bulldozer,
or that guy was in Tiananmen
Square, where you stand in front of something, like a tank.
You know, maybe that's what he was trying to do, and that's
a possibility. But the cop
sees him there, walks up, and he's
now, he's walking his bicycle, but he
walks his bicycle's tire, both tires, over this guy's walking his bicycle, but he walks his bicycle's tire,
both tires over this guy's head. And then another guy walks up and says, hey, what the fuck? And he
swings the ass under the bicycle and he hits the guy. There's no accountability at all.
The thing is, Cecil, none of it's Matt. None of it makes any difference. We have hundreds and
hundreds of these incidents now this year on film. On camera.
And nothing is happening.
Like it used to be that like when the police beat the shit out of somebody in the 90s,
like remember when they beat the shit out of Rodney King?
And it was like, holy fuck.
Like now we're forced to confront it.
It's a reality.
It's something we're watching.
So like, hey, that's fucked up.
That's absolutely fucked up.
Like there's an intentionality to this brutality that like we even, no matter how many times we have it on tape, no matter how many times we watch it, no matter what, like we don't
give a shit.
We don't do anything about it.
Nothing is going to happen.
Nothing is going to happen.
When this happened in LA, it's when one incident like this happened, it sparked riots.
Now we've got hundreds of
incidents and we're having a conversation about this. Like nationally, people aren't all of one
mind. How are people not all of one mind about this subject? Like the cops are intentionally
brutalizing American citizens and they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. And if you don't
think they, like when we have it on tape and they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. And if you don't think they, like,
when we have it on tape and they don't give a fuck, how much more do we think they don't give
a fuck when it's not on video? Hilariously, I watched a video today. This woman who was,
she was not going to wear a mask in Ohio. I guess she was at like a football game or something outside.
She won't wear her mask.
And so I guess the place asked her to leave
and she wouldn't leave.
And so they called the police.
The police show up
and they ask her to leave.
And she won't leave.
She won't leave.
And they are,
this guy is so fucking patient with this woman.
She's a white lady.
So fucking patient.
She's screaming at him. No, don't touch me. They start to grab this woman. She's a white lady. So fucking patient. She's screaming at him.
No, don't touch me.
They start to grab her arm.
She's flipping out.
She's spinning around.
She's going crazy.
Super patient.
It's over three minutes into the video
before he finally pulls his taser out and tases her.
It's over three minutes into the video before he does that.
And you're just like watching this person be so fucking calm when it's a white person on the end of that, you know, you just watch them in no,
you know, no issue whatsoever. And, and all the people around it are appalled that the police
officer is doing that to them, that to that, to that woman who was not wearing a mask, right.
Who was asked to leave because she wasn't wearing a mask and then she was arrested for trespassing.
But, you know, the, the fact is, is that you could for trespassing. But, you know, the fact is,
is that you could watch that happen.
And, you know, if that starts happening
more and more and more and more around the conservatives,
you're going to see a lot of backlash.
But the thing is,
is just like all the rest of the bad things
that are happening now,
they're not happening to the conservatives.
So they don't care.
They actually like it.
They want it.
They want it to happen. They don't like you. They don't want you to, actually like it. They want it. They want it to
happen. They don't like you. They don't want you to, they want you to get beat up. They want you
to get thrown around. They want to dress up and pretend they're cops and shoot you. They want to
do this, right? They, they, they're excited to do this. So of course, that's how they're going to
react to it. Nope. They don't give a fuck. So half the country literally doesn't care and will defend
every single thing a cop has ever done ever.
Yeah, which-
They're just apologists.
Which is completely fucking bonkers
because like for the longest time,
like the side that was like
anti-authoritarian big government, right?
The side that was like always screaming
for the longest time about like,
man, you know, you don't want the man
with, you know, coming into't want the man with, you
know, coming into our fucking crazy people compound or whatever. It has nothing to do with it. There's
no principle. What you have to be able to step back and look at now is there is not, and there
never were, any actual principles involved. What people want- No, that's 100% right. Yeah. Because
as soon as it happens, it's like, well, it's happening to the people we like
to have it happen to. We were
always okay with black
people getting the shit kicked out of them, which is
why we didn't ever intervene
in that process. What we
are not okay with is fucking hillbillies
having their guns taken away from them
and the rights of fucking weird
militia people to dance around and play
cosplay shit in the woods or whatever they're doing.
Like that stuff, that's fucking, that's protected.
That's murica.
That's all that garbage, right?
That's fine.
But like, you know what?
We never gave a shit when it was in the city.
We never gave a shit when it was, you know, black people that are going to get.
And we so don't give a shit that like it doesn't matter how jackbooted the thugs get. It literally makes no difference. Get it all on
tape, like whatever fucking rights principles, like fucking tear that fucking piece of shit.
Goddamn constitution up. We don't give a shit about it. Nobody gives a fuck about the bill
of rights. Nobody's we're not, how the fuck can we possibly stand there
in front of anybody
at this point in history
and say like,
you know,
that document
really matters to me.
That's really the one.
You know,
I got to make sure
that whoever gets,
whoever's in charge,
I got to get a real
constitutional scholar
to be on the Supreme Court
because that document,
well,
I bleed for that document.
Cecil, I love it. I love that. Fuck that. No, you don't give a shit. You give a shit about like,
well, as long as white people can still have barbecues and dance with an overbite, I'm good.
That's what I want. That's America to me. Well, speaking of hypocrisy and the Supreme Court,
the Justice Ginsburg passed away this week.
We knew it was coming.
She's fucking a million years old.
She was a million years old with, like, multiple cancers all fighting each other.
So you knew it was going to happen.
For the longest time, she had that, like, perfect cancer balance.
Where, like, she had so many at the same time
that they couldn't all squeeze through the door like Mr. Burns.
Yeah, she sure did.
And now,
she's gone, and
they're going to fill the seat.
The Republicans are going to fill the seat, even though
Merrick Garland had to
wait in the wings for almost, what was it?
Nine months. Nine months worth of time.
They waited. There was
a Supreme Court nomination.
They said it's never been done in an election year in 40 years.
We shouldn't do it in an election year.
That's not how it works.
And now they're saying, yeah, well, we said that.
And what we meant to say was you shouldn't do it in an election year when the Senate is different than the president, when there are different parties.
Because that's what matters.
Yep.
That's the real issue is that when the senate is different
and they're the ones who even though he fucking pitched kind of a really center of the road guy
and merrick garland at them to try to get them to approve a pretty center of the road yeah uh
a supreme court pick they're like nope we going to wait. And they forced the wait.
And now we got stuck with them replacing Scalia.
They replaced Kennedy
when he stepped down.
And now,
you know,
like the thing is,
they were already 5-4, right?
And they were 5-4 coming into this.
They shouldn't have been,
but they were.
And now they're going to be 6-3
and that's just going to be
the way it is.
And there's nothing,
like there's nothing
you can do to stop this.
At this point,
they're 100% going to do it.
And I'll be perfectly frank, Tom.
I hope they do it fast.
I hope they do it before the election
because I think that galvanizes a base of people
on the Democrat side.
And I think the people that were going to,
that were maybe going to vote for Trump before
that might've been on the fence to vote for him
because of this Supreme Court seat.
The moment he fills it, what do you have to offer me?
You're just an asshole.
Well, fuck off.
I don't need to vote.
I don't even need to vote
because I already got what I wanted out of you.
So to be honest, I hope it happens sooner rather than later.
Yeah, I mean, it's distressing how fast this is all.
Like the average time to confirm a seat is 70 days.
We don't even have 70 days. So, cause it takes time to vet and confirm the average time. Again,
it's, it's, it's a little over two months. We're going to fucking fast track. We're,
we're going to do something too fast because we need it for political expediency, which is
hilarious because doesn't that tell you
how worried Trump is about losing this election? If Trump was, if Trump and the Republicans were
really deeply confident as much as they say they are, if they were like, yeah, fucking whatever,
like America loves us, but if I can, we got the plans, we got the answers. We're crushing it.
We are absolutely going to win this. There's no worry here. There's no worry here at all,
but they're going to get this fucking thing's no worry here. There's no worry here at all, but they're
going to get this fucking thing done in 45 days or less, you know, a full 25 days faster than the,
than the average. They're going to do that because like, they know, they know Cecil, like this thing
could flip on them. The Senate could flip, the presidency could flip. It's very likely actually
that those things are going to happen.
Increasingly by the day, it seems likely that those things are going to happen.
So they're fucking shitting themselves.
They're trying to make sure that, like, well, there's three branches of government.
Let's fucking poison the last one we can poison on our way out.
Lindsey Graham in 2016 said, I want you to use my words against me. If there's a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term,
you can say, let Lindsey Graham said, let's let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination.
And you could use my words against me and you'd be absolutely right.
And that motherfucker is still, even though like people have quoted that right back to him.
He's like, what he said is, you do it too. That's what he said. It's literally
what he said is you would do it too. You would do the same as actually his exact quote. You would
do the same. And you know what, Lindsey? You know what, Lindsey? You're fucking right. Because I'll
tell you what, I have been, I think, a very principled person for a very long time. I hold some pretty high ideals and I think
government should hold those ideals too. And I always felt like, you know what, if they go low,
you go high. I really do think that that's an interesting, good way to think about the world.
But at this point now, I say, fuck you. You know what I mean? Because this is like one straw too
far. You've gone too far. There's so many pieces of hypocrisy that have come forward since you've taken office,
but this one is just too much. It's generational. You're changing things for a generation.
So here's what you do. You go in, you pack the courts. Guess what? Tom said it earlier. I didn't
think, I didn't think this many, but 15. Guess what we're going to do? We're going to put 15
people. We're going to add six people to the bench and then we're going to do. We're going to put 15 people. We're going to add six people to the bench. And then we're going to turn. And then Tom, another great thing. Yeah. Why don't we just take
Puerto Rico and Washington DC and turn those into states and give those people senators?
You know what I mean? Like, fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck you. How about fuck you? And how about fuck
you forever? How about fuck you forever? Do whatever you can to make sure, you know what?
Start going after the population centers of the United States and increasing the numbers of the representatives that come from more populous states.
Do that.
Fuck you.
How about go fuck yourself?
Well, they've already said, they've already said, if you do this, absolutely nothing is off the table. There are big nuclear options like that that you were just talking about that we have
always eschewed from because they're big fucking nuclear options. But this is the time to do it.
The country is numerically democratic. I mean, it wasn't even close in 2016 in terms of the
popular vote. It wasn't even fucking close. America is numerically democratic. The problem
is we got this bullshit electoral college garbage, which gives ridiculous amounts of weight to
fucking rural territories rather than to the actual human beings that live in this country.
So what the Democrats need to do is say, you know what? Here's what we're going to do.
Everything. DC becomes a state, like you said.
Puerto Rico becomes a state. Hey, Guam, you want in? You're a motherfucking state. American Samoa,
we didn't even recognize you as citizens. Now you're a fucking state. Make them all fucking
states. Make all of that shit fucking states because they're all democratic, man. And once
this like, once the blue happens, it doesn't turn red again. Shit is different.
The demographics of this country are shifting further and further left.
If you look at the total numbers, the only places where that's not true is in the fucking garbage rural territories.
That's it.
Yeah.
So you flip this fucking thing and it's done.
And I think they know that because the
Democrat, I mean, you watch all these fucking graphs, you look at all these curves, the Republican
mindset continues to be a less valued mindset. The largest numerical demographic in the country
is the millennials, man. It's not the boomers. Those fuckers are dying and coronavirus has taken
out a bunch of them. Like we're not fixing that. I want to say too, fuck Mitt fucking Romney in the fucking ass.
Yeah, what the fuck happened there?
Fuck, fuck you. Fuck you. You fucking thought, you thought he was a criminal, you asshole.
You fucking weren't going to vote to impeach. You fucking did. You're a piece of shit.
You thought he was corrupt enough to vote against him
in the fucking voting process.
And now you're going to be like,
nah, he's fit to pick a fucking Supreme Court.
Fuck you, dude.
Fuck off.
Die in a fire, you piece of garbage.
Yeah.
And did you see what Trump said about it?
He said he's no longer angry at romney
he literally said he said today he said do you see what's going on with the republican party
how unified the republican party is we're unified it's a beautiful thing to see
thank you mitt even mitt's on board it's a good thing to see he i mean like like that like he said
that's okay i'm no longer angry at mitt because he's being very nice to me on the Supreme Court.
He's doing the right thing.
Like this is all like we're, we are being governed by a crazy fucking narcissistic,
like happy autocrat.
Like this is a guy who counts people like, yeah, I'm mad at you.
I'm mad at somebody because I didn't get my way.
He's like a fucking giant eight yearyear-old. And he's ruining the fucking country.
He's ruining, like,
it is fucking ruining democracy
because we fucking hired
that fucking kid from the Twilight Zone
with too much power.
Like, that's the guy that we fucking hired.
It's so bad.
Every fucking day,
it gets worse than we possibly could imagine it could be.
And every week I'm like,
holy fuck,
how is it somehow worse?
You know,
there's some stuff that she,
she can be so fucking hard to change.
You know,
I mean,
I don't know how you get rid of the electoral college without some other type
of thing to do it.
I think that that,
that pack that they had between States is a good way to do it where the States
just agree,
no matter what,
whoever wins the popular vote is what we're going to vote.
And so you only need to get to 270 for that to happen,
and the states can make that decision on their own.
And so that would be a way to do it,
but getting an amendment changed is going to be fucking,
that's going to be real hard. But there is no amendment for the Supreme Court.
So there's nothing that says
that you can't add more justices.
So they might just add more justices.
But that's just, it's just, it's to the point now
where, you know, they don't give a fuck at all
and they will do what they can to ruin this country.
And they're doing it and they're going to do it.
And there's nothing you can do to stop this appointment, right?
This appointment's going to happen.
They're going to fast track it. They're going to make it work And there's nothing you can do to stop this appointment, right? This appointment's going to happen. They're going to fast track it.
They're going to make it work.
But you just got to come out punching
and you got to be like,
see what they did?
See what they did?
See how they changed everything?
Well, it's time to change things back
to how this country actually feels.
Jump free, Willie.
Jump.
Oh no, Willie didn't make it
and he crushed our boy.
What a mess.
This story is from theguardian.com.
Scientists baffled by orcas ramming sailing boats near Spain and Portugal.
Shit has gotten so bad, the whales are attacking us, Cecil.
We're at a place where it's like, no, like, fuck it. Just fucking
sink them all. Like, the
whales!
Killer, like, we're at a place where, like, fucking
killer whales are like, yeah, alright.
That's it, guys. You're going
in the drink. I've fucking had enough.
Did you watch the video of these things
attacking the boat? No, I didn't see it.
Like, I don't speak Spanish, except for
just, like, a little bit, and I speak some of the swear words and like they're fucking sailing this boat and
this fucking orcas like slamming into the boat. I like, and they are not like gently tip tip
tapping these things. Like, let me read to you some of the things that are actually happening.
It's kind of insane. On the 29th of July, July off Cape Trafalgar, Victoria Morris was crewing
a 46-foot, 46-foot
delivery boat that was surrounded
by nine orcas. The
cetaceans rammed the hull for over an
hour, spinning the boat. Cetacean needed.
Spinning the boat 180
degrees, disabling the engine, and
breaking the rudder as they
communicated with loud whistling
they're fucking chatting they're like fuck that thing up they're like a fucking motorcycle gang
and like a bad 70s movie black fish lives matter motherfucker
at 11 30 the previous night british couple someone and someone else, their 40-foot yacht was brought to a sudden halt, then spun around several times.
Harris felt the boat raise that evening.
Earlier that same day, some other dude was motor sailing alone when he heard a horrific bang like a sledgehammer, saw his wheel turning with incredible force, disabling the steering.
turning with incredible force,
disabling the steering as his 34-foot Moody yacht
spun 180 degrees.
He felt the boat lift
and said he was pushed around
without steering
for 15 minutes.
Jesus Christ.
These things are fucking shit up.
You are going to need a bigger boat.
Yeah.
I think what's happening
is they're like,
it's like when you smack the guy
for turning the jacuzzi temperature up.
Maybe that's what they're doing. They're getting angry. Will guy for turning the jacuzzi temperature up maybe that's what they're doing they're getting angry will you stop turning up the temperature damn it's very
warm in here it's so fucking crazy like this is i keep saying it's peak 2020 but i'm not saying
peak anymore like but it is perfectly in keeping it is first Murder Hornets. Now, Killer Whales.
I feel like the simulation,
someone just turned
the difficulty up.
Like,
accidentally,
accidentally went over
to the simulation
and just leaned on
the wrong lever
and the difficulty
just shot up this year
beyond what it should be.
You know?
You know the world
is not safe
when rich fuckers
in yachts
are getting fucked.
Right.
Like, fuck it.
Hey, holy shit.
Yeah.
Nothing like a complete physical breakdown to make a guy seem less intimidating.
Stop pooping.
I love the flu.
So this story is just is just amazing for all of its implications from the New York Daily News.
It's just amazing for all of its implications. From the New York Daily News,
MTA board to formally ban,
formally ban,
pooping in subways and buses.
You better wear a tuxedo
when you're on that board that day.
Because I feel like there has to be a juxtaposition
about what you're saying
versus what you're wearing there.
And you need to wear a tuxedo.
But it needs to
have those old-timey like uh uh you know when they show in those old movies when those people
had the trap door that they pooped out of all the tuxedos need trap oh my god yeah like old-timey
like outhouse pajamas yeah yeah outhouse pajamas where they have like a little trap door in the can
tuxedos with outhouse pajamas that's how it's got to do it so holy shit like i love that like
before this like it must have just been informally but like it's just like it's frowned upon like
it's a little gauche just to shit on the subway like we have a gentleman's agreement sir please
do not shit i mean like i guess i can't stop you if you want to take a shit. Also like shitting on the bus,
like shitting on it.
I can see.
I see you hard eye contact with the driver at that point. If you're going to shit on the bus,
you better look that driver right in the eye and just never,
never unlock.
Just constant.
You and him.
It's only you two on the bus.
Nobody else matters at that point.
It's just you two.
There should be like electricity between the two of you. Animal magnetism, like mesmer. It should just be,
that's how it needs to happen. You know, I was reading this to Haley and she made the point
that like, well, maybe New York ought to have some other place to shit somewhere ever. Like you
cannot, you cannot use a bathroom in New York at all anywhere that's not true
I walked around New York with Eli Bosnick
and he fucking shit everywhere
he was
in and out of everywhere going in
he's like Starbucks, McDonald's
we go over and there's like 25 places
he shit that day
Eli Bosnick is a shit map though
yeah exactly
he's worse than a dog He's worse than a dog.
He's worse than a dog when you take him out
and he's got a pee.
And you're like, you just pissed 10 feet ago.
What are you doing?
Sorry, I got to go again.
When you go for a walk with Eli,
do you have to bring like a little biodegradable blue bag
to pick up after him?
Eli should make like, Eli should write a book.
You know how people have the insider
version of New York City?
He should just be the insider, the places you can shit in New York City.
And he should just have the illustrated version of all the places you could shit.
And you can make a map, a fold out map thewestnews.com.
Oregon man allegedly shot self in groin while showing off gun.
Oregon man.
Oregon man.
Oregon man.
While showing off gun man, Oregon man, Oregon man, while showing off gun in supermarket.
Everything about this story is great.
This fucking guy's got a Glock.
And for whatever reason,
he's at the grocery store and he tries to show off his Glock in the grocery store.
Like the fucking what?
Then he goes to,
what are you doing there?
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
Like,
what are you,
are you threatening the ham?
Like what is happening?
He saw,
I guess he like met up with a friend of his.
It says like he met up with a friend and he wanted to show off his gun.
He was flaunting it.
And the guy shoots himself in the fucking groin.
And then his own femoral artery.
Now he missed it. He says he missed it just by. Oh, it did then his own femoral artery. Now he missed it.
He says he missed it just by...
Oh, it did.
Just missed his femoral artery.
I'm sorry.
I misread that.
Could you...
How embarrassing is that?
Hey, man, you see my new gun?
Bam!
Bill, did you shoot yourself?
No, I'm okay.
I'm good.
I'm fine.
I'm all right.
Go.
Let's go to the...
No, can we use the express checkout today
God damn it
I'm stuck in one of those self checks
And the light is blinking and nobody's coming over
I like too that like
After he fucking blew his own nuts off
They fucking arrested him
They arrested him
Cause they're like hey man
First of all he tried to tuck the gun back into his pants.
Sure, like you do.
Like, who wears a gun in their pants?
Who's like, oh, I got to have my gun with me when I go grocery shopping in Oregon.
That's a real fucking dangerous fucking activity.
But then, like, he gets arrested because he did not have a concealed handgun license.
This act was found to be reckless and it placed several people in danger.
So like after he blows his own fucking junk off,
he's got to go to jail.
America's amazing.
Sally's like, what are you in here for?
I shot somebody.
It's true.
He's not lying.
I almost hit that motherfucker's femoral artery.
I blew his balls off.
You wouldn't do it.
You don't have the balls.
Actually, you've got me on that one.
I don't.
It's actually true.
I don't anymore.
Yeah, no, that's a tragic accident.
I had a tragic grocery store accident.
Hi, Pearl.
What has happened?
You don't have to raise your voice.
You pay now!
I can give you half.
You pay now, bitch!
Hey, don't talk to me like that, okay?
I got a gift card.
Look, I thought I was clear in my email
that I needed a couple weeks.
I work too hard.
Can I just get two more weeks?
I put you on the street.
I got my money, bitch.
Hey, don't call me bitch.
I'm a grown man.
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.
God, you're mean.
So this story comes from Vice.
A gig economy company launches Uber,
but for evicting people.
Motherfucker.
A company called, and this is fucking crazy.
Fuck.
Civil.
Fuck you.
C-I-V-V-L.
Civil.
Fuck you.
Nothing is as civil
as evicting people.
Says evicting people is,
the fastest growing
money-making gig
due to COVID-19.
Let me read some of this.
Quote,
since COVID-19,
many Americans fell behind in all aspects, reads the website copy.
The button below this is not a statement for a GoFundMe or a petition for rent relief.
Instead, the following is a call to action from a company called Civil.
Be hired as an eviction crew.
A fucking eviction crew.
That's the job.
Motherfucker.
Civil aims to marry the gig economy with the devastation of a pandemic,
complete with signature gig startup language like be your own boss
and flexible hours and looking for self-motivated individuals
with positive attitudes.
Fastest growing money-making gig due to COVID-19.
Literally thousands of process servers are needed in the coming
months due to courts being backed up
in judgments that need to be served to defendants.
Tom, could you imagine? It's like
during the Holocaust, there would be
an app called Yellow Star
or something like that where you get
to be the guard and you get to
beat the shit out of all the other people,
all the other Jews.
We're at a place where like,
we're selling poor people their fucking teeth back to them.
Yeah.
It's fucking incredible.
Like, and to call the company civil
seems like such crazy insult to injury.
Man.
Holy shit.
Holy fucking shit.
The gig economy itself is a fucking horror, right?
I don't know if you remember, but like, gosh, maybe it was 10 years ago
when Walmart was only hiring part-time workers to get around the insurance stuff that they were doing.
And they were doing this in a big way and people were calling them out for it or whatever.
This gig economy is the exact same thing.
And people talk about the push for
something like Uber, where they say, Uber, you make this money on Uber. And there's been people
who say, with depreciation, you're not making a lot of money. And these companies themselves don't
make a lot of money either. They've never made money. So like Uber, they were saying because Uber tries to seed the
market by offering incentives, they rarely make money anyway. So it's just these big,
I mean, they're almost like Ponzi schemes. Yeah. Uber as a company has never turned a profit.
Never once. Yeah. Uber has never made money. But the thing is, Uber doesn't need to make money
in order for people,
in order for the higher-ups to get rich at Uber.
Absolutely, right.
Yeah, like a Ponzi scheme.
And that's, yeah, we've got this crazy fucking economy
where we've commodified the most mundane details
of people's work,
but we don't back them up with a company
that has employees and all the rest of
it. Instead, we have a company that instead of having employees has this new type of worker,
this new type of contract only, temporary, ultra temporary worker. And as we move further and
further as service industries, and we're a service-driven economy, as service industries move more toward this contract-only labor, there is less and less of an incentive for people to have actual fucking employees.
Companies don't need employees anymore.
What they need is a technological base to reach out to and connect people willing to do work with people willing to pay for that work.
And all the company exists to be is the middleman, the bridge, the technological bridge
that connects somebody desperate with somebody who's willing to hire for that service. And that
in and of itself doesn't have to be evil. It just does not have to be evil. But the problem is that it is evil because what company,
what it skips is what a company provides. A company provides safety and security to its
employees. It provides benefits, which our country relies on a system of benefits because we don't
have a governmental safety net to provide the things. So the only way you get, you know,
to provide the things.
So the only way you get,
you know,
retirement,
the only way that you get,
nobody even like,
nobody even helps you pay your fucking taxes.
Think about like,
like when I get a paycheck
as a W-2 employee,
a regular old Joe
fucking six pack W-2 employee,
like my company,
they have a payroll
processing system.
I don't have to like
reserve a certain amount of my
income to the side for Uncle Sam. I get benefits. I have a retirement plan. I have all of these
things. That's what the company provides to the employee. But we're moving further and further
into a world where companies are not even employing people anymore. You're not employed by Uber.
You're a contractor.
And that's fucking totally different.
Well, and then the other thing too
is that they don't do things like
create an environment that people enjoy working in.
Instead, what they do is they create an environment
where the person who is getting a ride from you
is essentially watching you for the company.
And then they are the one who report back to the company
based on your star review.
So as an Uber user,
you're not being paid to rate that driver, right?
They're not paying you to do that.
There's no benefit for you to do that.
Instead, it's the only way you to do that. There's no benefit for you to do that. Instead, it's the only way you ever do that
is to show your power over that person.
They ask you for that.
They're not paying you to do that.
Why the fuck am I rating your driver?
Why the fuck am I part of this process?
Why am I doing your fucking employee's performance review?
I'm doing it every day,
and every single driver is doing their performance review
because, like you say, they're not a real company. They're basically setting me up, the person who's looking
for a contractor with a contractor. It's not a job. I don't have a supervisor. Nope. And the
other thing that you don't have is you don't have any growth or upward mobility. You don't have any
ability to make lateral moves within companies like this.
Like, it's not like you could say, like, I'm going to transfer departments or I'm going to be a supervisor or I'm going to get good at this and become a fucking technical expert.
Everybody is the same.
You're locked forever into this fucking grinding hamster wheel of the same fucking shit and the same fucking shit.
You don't eventually graduate from Uber
and become a stunt driver.
You know what I mean?
Like that doesn't happen.
Yeah.
And you don't ever get like,
oh, I was an Uber driver
and did a really good job
and now I'm like the dispatch manager, right?
Because all of like,
all of those services
are now just technologically bridged.
So, and all somebody does
is sit up at the top
and make all the money
while the contractors just do
all of this grinding, repetitive bullshit labor.
The idea, Cecil, that we are now
outsourcing fucking evicting people.
It's unreal.
It's unreal.
I mean, like this job is honestly,
it's the saddest possible state of affairs in late stage capitalism that you can possibly fucking imagine.
They are advertising all over the country.
We are on the verge of an eviction crisis.
It's an absolute fucking crisis.
And that's because the bill has been sitting, a coronavirus relief bill has been stalled in the Senate forever.
Right.
Because they don't give a fuck about you.
They don't give a fuck.
And this company is going to fucking make a mint,
basically fucking exploiting all these people.
I mean, eventually there's going to be
a fucking crowdsourcing app
for the burial crews
that they're going to need for fucking COVID.
Yeah. Yeah. You're not even wrong. You're not even wrong. We're going to be fucking outsourcing
because that's exactly the kind of job that could outsource into a gig economy job, right?
Like fucking digging graves. Like the thing is that it used to be that like work that did not,
The thing is that it used to be that work that did not, we've gotten to a point where any kind of work that is not really highly specialized work has completely lost all of its human value. There is no value and no dignity in labor any longer.
in labor any longer. Just labor itself as an activity of the human animal, as an honest dignity producing activity. Labor itself has become completely valueless in our current economy.
And that wasn't always the case. It used to be that working with your body was an actually
legitimate way to work. It was considered an honest day's labor.
And it was a respected profession.
Blue collar workers were people who people said,
no, that's a blue collar guy.
That's a good thing to be, you know?
Now, and you know, like this,
going back to the article, this company Civil,
there's something in here that I want to, I want to really drive home at too.
There's a federal ban on evictions declared by the CDC,
but landlords are still attempting to press on.
There's a penalty for violating the ban,
which can include a combination of fines and jail time.
Civil did not respond to a question
about how the company ensures evictions are legal,
though based on their terms of service,
this is important.
It appears to pass all risk
onto the companies using its platform,
saying that it simply provides lead generation to independent contractors and does not actually carry out the work itself.
This is the same shit that you and I have talked about with respect to any of those bullshit middleman tube sites and places that, hey, look, I'm not responsible for the content.
What I do is I just exist in this fucking middle space to collect money in the center,
but I have no responsibility to what it is that I help to fucking create.
We have got to be better than this.
We have got to stand up to this shit and say, like, these things are a fucking cancer.
They are going to kill our culture. They are going to kill our culture.
They are going to crush our economy.
People need to be accountable
for the systems that they build
just because they're not producing the work,
just because they're not producing the eviction.
They are essential to this process.
And they're pretending that they're not.
And they're like, hey, you know what?
If people get fucking evicted, they can't legally get evicted. My name's Paul and that's between y'all.
All I did was, you know, make some introductions here. You can't fault me for making introductions.
It's crazy because it's getting the working class to attack the working class.
That's essentially what it's doing. It's some guy has created an app that allows the working class
to exploit the working class
for the ruling class.
I mean,
the people that are going to be
getting those houses,
the people that are foreclosing on you
are the ruling.
Those are the people
who make the money.
They're the ones
who make all the money.
They're going to,
they're taking your life.
They're taking your household
in a
pandemic where there's, it's so hard to make money right now. They're taking your shit.
I mean, and the people doing it don't want to be doing it. I mean, yeah, Francisco Munoz,
Francisco Munoz, a mover for a landlord in Houston cries as he empties an elderly woman's
apartment quote, maybe today it's her and tomorrow it's me, he told the reporter.
We've seen more than double the amount of calls to our hotline since the beginning of the year
than we did during the same time last year.
Philip Devon, an eviction prevention specialist, told Vice.
They've received over 400 calls regarding illegal lockouts alone.
This is all very dishonest, Devon said as civil.
It's like, oh, don't call us a hit man we
didn't pull the trigger yeah we just connected you with the person who's willing to man that
seriously is i think a really good analogy like these these middle spaces that abrogate responsibility
in order to like collect money in the center like it's like yeah you may as well be fucking
murdering you may as well be like yeah well i You may as well be like, yeah, well, look, I didn't kill somebody.
I didn't fucking kill a man.
It's fucking bullshit.
It's absolute bullshit.
And it all starts at the top because, you know, it's, you know, there's part of me that it's hard to blame somebody who's looking for work right now.
Right.
It's hard to blame that person.
It's not the individual's fault.
It's all starting at the top.
It's the, you know, the person who creates's not the individual's fault. It's all starting at the top.
It's the, you know, the person who creates this is the person who's taking the home away.
It's all of that is the problem.
It's a lot and all of this could be circumvented
if there was some sort of coronavirus bill that existed.
That could, a lot of this could be circumvented right now.
But instead, we're living in a time
where you can open
your phone and find somebody who you could throw out of their house for a few bucks. Yeah. Yeah.
You're going to show up and throw your back out. That's the other thing. You're going to show up
and you're going to do this work and it's dangerous work. People are going to get killed doing this
work, Cecil. People are going to get hurt and people are going to get killed doing this work.
They're going to show up and they're just somebody trying to make a living. They're just somebody else trying to put food on
the table. Somebody else trying to pay, you know, their own rent and like eviction is dangerous work.
That is dangerous work. Someone's going to get fucked up and someone's going to be like,
these people are also going to be like unqualified and unphysically fit to be doing this kind of
labor, but desperate for the money. So they're going to show up,
they're going to get hurt.
And who's going to take care of them?
They don't have a fucking employer.
Do you remember when you and I helped someone move
and we were the only ones really moving them?
And we, I was so fucking dead the next day.
I was so tired.
That night I was so tired.
I went home and literally fell on the floor in my place
and never moved until the next day.
And then the next day I was like, oh my God,
because you and I were, we were the only ones working
and we worked all day, all day.
And it was a whole giant truck packed full
and we just lifted and it was a three flat.
So all the way up to the top floor, third story,
you and I carry in the heaviest stuff,
the armoires and everything, the mattresses. We carried it all the
way upstairs. Can you imagine that that's your job and you're not qualified? Because you and I,
we're not qualified to do that, right? You know, like, you and I can pick something heavy up
together, of course, but I don't have the fucking, I don't have the endurance in my muscles to do
that for seven straight hours. Right. And like, we don't have like lifting straps and we don't have like back braces and we
don't have,
we literally just don't even have like the equipment that you would need to
keep yourself safe doing that work for eight hours a day,
five days a week or whatever you're doing.
Right.
It's,
it's this,
this thing is,
and again,
I can't get over it to call it civil.
I know.
I know.
When it is the least civil thing we could be doing to each other.
Hello, what are you looking for?
Butt plug.
Spark plug, what kind?
Butt plug.
What kind of a spark plug?
Butt plug.
Never heard of it.
What do you use it for?
Butt plug.
Huh?
Butt plug.
What do you use it for, sir?
Butt plug.
Butt plug.
Butt plug. I know, butt plug. What do you use it for, sir? Butt plug. Butt plug. Butt plug.
I know, but what do you use it on?
What do you use it in?
I'm trying to figure...
Butt plug.
Butt plug.
Yeah, okay, I got your spark plug.
There's all kinds of spark plugs.
Butt plug.
Butt plug.
Butt plug.
I don't know. We don't carry that.
Butt plug?
Yeah, we don't carry it.
Thank you.
All right.
So this story is amazing. It's from Mike.com.
This guy is letting his Twitter followers control his vibrating butt plug.
So there's a guy on Twitter. He's an electronics engineer in Berlin.
Okay.
He goes by the Twitter handle Spacebuck.
He created a butt plug that can be controlled by his Twitter followers.
So here's what he wrote.
Here we go.
My open source Wi-Fi vibrator is in my butt again.
Okay.
I was like, okay, well, if it's just on his desk, like who cares?
Right.
It's like a paperweight.
If his giant butt plugs on his desk as a paperweight, that might be inconvenient while you're on
a zoom call and it's buzzing away on your desk.
But no, he's, he's told you where it is.
It's okay.
So now it's in there.
I just want to say, I just want to say game on.
Okay, here we go.
I just want to say, I guess we're taking him on his word, right?
I just want to say,
game on!
Okay, here we go.
Instead of running a guest book,
it's reading the status of this tweet.
Vibration intensity is controlled by the poll.
Liking the tweet means 10 seconds of vibration.
Retweeting means 30 seconds of vibration.
So right now, Cecil,
looking at this,
he's got 458 likes on on this thing I wonder does it
keep 458 well it might not be in his ass it's probably just like vibrating under his bat or
whatever it's not actually in his ass you know at some point you just got to be like all right
that's just numb now like you, you know what I mean?
Like, it's so, I don't care what,
like how great it is.
At some point you're like,
oh God, I'm trying to eat dinner and this thing won't stop.
I mean, even God only made it rain for 40 days.
You know what I mean?
God's not real.
I'm kidding.
But you can make it.
But if you want your ass to buzz for 40 days,
you can go to adamandeve.com, type in Gloria checkout.
You can get 50% off almost any item, free shipping.
And I don't know if they, if you could,
if you're a fucking computer genius,
maybe you can hook it up to something
and get your tweets on, you know, who knows?
This guy could be a trendsetter.
Adam and Eve look into this, you know,
maybe there's something to this.
Well, it's funny because this special kind of technology is called teledildonics.
That is an emerging field.
You know, Cecil, a lot of great things come from terrible events. You know what I mean?
And like maybe after the pandemic
and the isolation and the loneliness
and the quarantine,
there will be revolutions
in the field of teledildonics.
And the teledildonics pioneers of tomorrow
will look back on 2020 and say,
oh, were it not for the pandemic,
we would not have
gestures in direction
these.
This.
This.
Oh, man.
What are you doing, Gary?
I'm working my core, you know,
yelping for that chasm. What? You know? I'm working my core, you know, yelping for that gasm
What?
You know, I'm beating it up, getting bad gains until I explode
What in God's name are you talking about?
Dude, it's bro science
I'm stacking shit, going progressive overload
Until I progress over my load, you know what I'm saying?
You're talking about orgasms again, aren't you?
Um, coregasms.
For fuck's sake.
You know there is an easier way, right?
No, how?
Well, it's the whole point we're recording this.
You should just go to adamandeve.com,
choose from thousands of products,
and get almost any one item at 50% off.
And when you do, you'll get free shipping.
Delivered discreetly right to your door.
Just remember to use code GLORY.
That's G-L-O-R-Y at checkout.
Wow, that is so much easier than coming to and at your local gym.
Yes.
Guess only one thing is going to get swole now.
Okay.
And it's going to be very vascular, extravagan.
All right, can we wrap this up?
Oh, it's going to get wrapped up.
Please, God!
Road tip.
With shredded abs, your sex life will improve.
They'll effortlessly attract a mate who's so fractured inside
they'll be happy being with you just because you have shredded abs.
Eat dangerously low amounts of carbohydrates.
You want to do this because it'll help you achieve a state
that science refers to as being shredded AF.
Eating too many carbs will make you fat because of aeronautical engineering pathways in your
body.
So this is new.
I never heard of this.
Chicago Tribune.com.
Corgasms are one way to practice sexual self-care during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Tom, I know you're a CrossFit guy.
Have you ever had a
corgasm?
A corgasm is when you
work out and then you
come. An exercise-induced
orgasm. When I work out,
I sound like I'm going to,
but I don't.
I think I make the same faces.
I breathe heavy.
Yeah, I make the same faces. I breathe heavy. Yeah, I make the same faces.
I scream, oh God, a lot.
I mean, all those things
are happening.
I mean, I sweat about the same
in either activity.
It's the same amount of liquid,
but there's one liquid that doesn't come out.
That's really the only liquid
that doesn't come out.
My whole lower half basically retreats.
It's just like, what is happening?
What are you doing?
Yeah, no shit.
It's like, go into protection mode.
Go into protection.
I wear compression shorts when I work out a lot
because I don't like the bouncing.
I don't know.
I'm sure women do the same thing
with the old fun bags there.
But with my fun bags,
I make sure to tuck those up against the body
because I bounce around and it's super uncomfortable.
So I always wear compression shorts.
And every time I take them off,
it's always just like,
it's like opening the airlock
in a fucking sci-fi movie.
Are you kidding me?
There's no way any of that can go off
while those are smashed that's not happening
i can't imagine something that would actually be less welcome while working out and being like
oh good i know i have a fucking erection and a mess in my pants like that's not what i needed
at all well the good thing is that is that the the the compression shorts i wear are wicking
so it would wick the sperm away. Oh, that's good.
Right to the outside of your shorts.
So people would be like,
what's going on?
I'd be like, I don't know.
I don't pay attention down there.
Yeah.
I was doing this plank hold,
and I got like... It's just...
Well, I was doing this plank hold.
Anyway.
It actually would be okay with a hard-on,
because then you could hold up part of your body
with the plank.
You're like...
You're doing a plank, and you like move your hands for a second,
like scratch your back and kind of stretch.
Who am I kidding?
I look like I'm laying down if it's on the ground.
Just break my dick.
Oh,
I'm curious if anybody,
they say 3% of women said they had,
and 6% of men said they had a coregasm.
When they were working out,
they had an orgasm.
6%.
Wow.
If you have had one of these,
let us know.
I'm curious if anyone in our audience had,
you don't have to explain it
or don't go into detail.
Just say, yes, I had it.
Don't send me a long message.
I'm not interested in your-
Don't send us your workout video.
I'm not Penthouse.
Don't send this to me like, dear Cecil, there I was. I don not interested in your... Don't send us your workout video. I'm not Penthouse. Don't send this to me
like, dear Cecil,
there I was. I don't want to see that. I don't want to
read that. But just be like, yes, I had one
and that's enough information. I don't
need any more information than that.
But I am curious, like, if
anybody has ever... Because I've never heard of this
before today. Yeah, and I guess it comes like when you're
like muscularly exhausted.
Does it come when you're muscularly exhausted? Is that what happens
to them?
So we want to thank our patrons. Of course, we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank
our newest patrons, Daniel,
Michael, Apathea,
Dean, and Sadie. Thanks so much
for your generous donations. We really do
truly appreciate it.
You guys are the reasons why Glory Hole Studios exists.
So thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And I appreciate that you guys keep Glory Hole Studios existing
so that after the pandemic,
I've got a clubhouse to return to.
All right.
Well, the reason why we can even do the things that we do
and be able to handle this is with the patrons, right?
Tom had to basically create a recording studio in his basement.
And we needed to fund that.
The podcast cost us a lot of money this year, specifically with equipment, because we didn't have all the equipment for two spaces.
Two spaces, two cameras, lights.
Yeah.
I mean, everything.
It's a lot.
Two internets,, lights. Yeah. I mean, everything. It's a lot. To internets, to everything.
Yeah.
So it took a while.
We want to appreciate,
we appreciate everybody who donated
to make sure that it happened.
So thank you.
We want to talk a little bit about some email.
We got a message here.
This message is from Mike
and Mike was talking about
the episode boater suppression.
He says,
our choices this November
are between someone who actively encourages fascism
and someone who won't do shit about it.
It is too late.
The system has failed.
And now is not the time to discuss disarming or preventing the arming of the most marginalized members of the community so they can defend themselves on a level of those attacking them, is what he says. You know, the only concern I have there, Mike, is I'm not aware of any
situations where the presence of guns in the hands of marginalized communities have kept those
communities safer from their oppressors. Particularly, I'm not aware of any times when
I'm talking about like authoritarian oppressors that are backed by the government, right?
The cops, for example.
Yeah.
Yeah, and in modern times too.
Because I mean, maybe like old timey West times maybe.
But maybe I'm wrong.
You know, maybe it has kept people safer
and I'm just not aware of those stories,
but I'd love to see that.
So Mike, if you've got some examples of that
where that has actually worked to keep people safer,
I'd be willing to look at them.
When you add the gun to the equation, it doesn't somehow protect you in perpetuity from the police.
It may cause one escalation of force to go your way, but I think only briefly because they're
eventually just going to use that radio to call more people. And you don't have a radio that
calls more people. There's no radio that a private citizen has
that can call in more people
or people that can get away with it.
You know what I mean?
Like if you call your buddy
and like you're safe today,
you're not safe tomorrow.
Oh, so Tom, we got a message.
This is from Pete.
And Pete sends in a story
from The Guardian.
Smelly and create great stains. since in a story about the gut from the guardian smelly,
uh,
and create great stains.
Emus band from pub in out.
Sorry.
E-muse.
I apologize.
They say E-muse.
Um,
and they're just standing there.
What's amazing is the photo of this.
There's a guy standing there like pointing to a sign,
like,
sorry,
it's clearly says no E-muse.
And the E-muse are all sitting on the porch like, what the fuck, man?
This is bullshit.
Right?
I love the idea that you had to like, oh, well, we got to borrow them.
Like we can't, we just can't be welcome to emus.
Like that's not all right.
You must be this less emu to ride this ride or whatever.
The emu's like, it says you're open.
It's right there on the side. See? Okay.
That's discriminatory. Got a message from Robert and Robert
asks, talking about
possibly a civil
war here. He thinks
that the civil will basically split
up into three countries if
it happens. He's from Canada. He says you'll probably split
up into three countries, West Coast states,
Northeast states,
and the remaining part of the country.
I do not foresee a split.
I mean, you know, I'm not going to rule out civil war
at this point, but I certainly do not see a split.
I have a feeling that there's going to be
some oppressive action taken to reunify the government
that would keep us all together.
That would almost certainly happen.
I don't see any path
to that actually happening at all.
I mean, no.
I got a message from Matt and Matt says
he's talking about civil war as well. It's funny. We got a lot of
civil war comments this week, Tom. That's weird.
I wonder why that would be.
He says actual violence
would probably be anonymous like assassinations
and bombings that are like Northern Ireland.
That sounds more likely to me, right? Yeah. I think that that seems like the,
and that's not a civil war. What that is, is sort of just a series of domestic terrorist actions.
And I can see that happening with much greater likelihood than some kind of militia-based
uprising.
It just doesn't make sense.
So Benjamin sent in this image and we've got a bunch of Huntsman stuff,
a bunch of Huntsman and a bunch of spider stuff people sent in from Australia.
We just don't have time on the show to address it all.
People love their spiders in Australia.
Yeah, they do.
Tons of stuff.
We read all your email, but we want to talk about this one in particular.
He said that he tried to move the Huntsman outside,
and when he dropped a cake tin on it,
and it started moving the cake tin from underneath.
It's like this thing is so big and so strong
that they put shit on top of the spider,
and the spider's like, cool, thanks for the armor, dick.
It's like I got a new house right everyone's we got don't send us any
more huntsman messages we got a million of them we love them thank you but like we're good i know
you guys are like all super manly australian like outbackers or whatever you call you like
oh i would never kill one that's amazing if you want your giant dinner plate spiders that like walk around and
start your car or whatever they fucking do you're welcome to them you're fucking your remote start
it's like 40 fucking spiders they crawl up to your car and press the button like fucking mowing your
lawn and shit these things are so big those are all yours guys we got a message from aaron and
aaron says we were talking about a horrible tree from Australia,
which is the gimpy gimpy plant.
He says, I hate to break it to you,
but the US has something arguably worse
in Florida and Louisiana.
Yeah, it's called Florida and Louisiana.
Yeah.
Says literally every part of the machine now tree.
I don't know if I'm pronouncing that correctly.
It's toxic.
It'll cause blisters to any part of your body
that touches it.
I am so unbelievably fucking allergic to poison ivy that my body turns itself inside out when I touch
it. Like it's the worst. I just weep like sores just open on my arm and they're just like, it's
the most, my body basically rejects my own body. It like no we're good i know this about you because
i think i gave you the poison ivy from working at my house every time you've gotten poison ivy
am i wrong have you ever gotten it wasn't my fault i got it i got it once at my house okay
all right yeah but like four other times i got it at tom's house and not just a little bit either
like i fucking somehow my brain is like no rub that fucking leaf on you, stupid. And I'm just like,
Tom, Matt sent in another message. This is another election thing. He says, if Trump
basically tries to steal the election and we have a six, three, three appointees from Trump
on the Supreme Court, that could spell some doom.
It could.
And I don't disagree with this doomsday scenario.
I think if we have an issue
and there's plenty of ways
that Trump could manufacture an issue
and pushes the election's decision to the Supreme Court
after nominating RBG's replacement,
I think we could find ourselves in a real tough spot, a real fucking tough spot.
We got a long message from Christian. Yeah. And I know that there's conversation in this email,
Christian, that the actions of other parties that were a part of the primary dropping out
pushed those votes to Biden. But I mean, think about it. They only pushed those
votes to Biden. These are still individuals voting. They had a choice to vote for Bernie
instead of Biden, but they didn't because we're not that far left. I wish we were. I wish I were
wrong about this. If we were that far left, it would have been a choice amongst a number of
different progressives. And then
a bunch of centrists dropping out wouldn't have fucking made any difference,
would have changed anything. But when a bunch of centrists drop out, all that does is focus
the centrist vote. It does not focus progressive votes onto centrists. So either there's a lot of
progressives that don't vote, which means they
don't fucking matter in a political system based on voting, which seems likely, but fuck them then,
who cares? Fucking vote or shut up, you know, or there's not that many leftists out there.
Only one of those two things seems possible. Got a message, a couple of messages. One is from
Josiah and he said that he just wanted to let us know that as a vet, he absolutely cannot stand Donald Trump. And he says,
a lot of my military brothers and sisters also hate Donald Trump. We got a couple of messages
this week that basically said the same thing, that echoed the same thing. And I hope that that's the
case. The way that these talking, the way that certainly some of these people are talking about
how the military is going to back Trump or something like that.
I sure hope not, man.
What the fuck?
So that is going to wrap it up
for this week.
We'll be back next week.
Please check out our live streams.
Our live streams are
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If you haven't before, make it a point. Come out during the week and just chat with us because we
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going to have a great time. That's going to wrap it up for this week. We're going to leave you like we always do
with the Skeptic's Creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter, mommy issue,
hypno-Babylon bullshit. Couched in scientician, double bubble, toil and trouble, pseudo-quasi
alternative, acupunctuating, pressurized, stereogram, pyramidal, free energy,
healing, water, downward spiral,
brain dead, pan, sales pitch,
late night info-docutainment.
Leo, Pisces, cancer cures,
detox, reflex, foot massage,
death in towers, tarot cards,
psychic healing, crystal balls,
Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens,
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