Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 548 - 2020: Pit of Rats
Episode Date: November 2, 2020Stories from the Week...
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Recording live! recording live from from glory hole studios covid 19 studios in chicago this is cognitive dissonance every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way we bring
critical thinking skepticism and irreverence to any topic that makes the news,
makes it big, or makes us mad.
It's skeptical.
It's political.
And there is no welcome at this episode 548 of Cognitive Dissonance.
It's our pre-Civil War episode, Tom.
So let's just start this off on a good note. Because I think there's
some things to celebrate tonight. Right?
This is going to come out on Monday. Yeah, come out on Monday.
So, this is the eve of the
apocalypse show. It's coming out the day before.
That's pretty great.
I will say, we have not
had our Civil War yet.
So, that's exciting.
I'm pumped. I'm pumped about
that not... We almost have another week, Cecil. It's Thursday. I get a am, I'm, I'm pumped. I'm pumped about that. Not, we had another,
we almost have another week.
See,
so it's Thursday.
I get a whole weekend.
I get a whole weekend.
Yeah,
it's nice not to have a,
it's nice.
I got to put it off until,
until Wednesday.
Yeah,
that's exciting.
Yeah,
that is exciting.
Yeah.
And,
you know,
I,
I turned in,
it was funny.
Haley and I were watching the news the other night.
We don't watch the news.
I don't know.
Do you watch television news at all?
Yeah,
we watch the news.
We watch CNN,
MSNBC.
Yeah. I never watch television news. So I, I, I get all my news. I read watch the news. I don't know. Do you watch television news at all? Yeah, we watch the news. We watch CNN, MSNBC. I never watch television news.
So I get all my news.
I read all my news.
I never watch.
I mean, I don't think I've watched television news in years and years.
Yeah, yeah.
But for some reason, we turned it on.
And it was like, it was the most depressing show I've ever seen.
Yeah, yeah.
It's pretty bad.
I could jerk off to Black Mirror before I could watch the news again
it was incredible
it was like COVID cases
are surging like crazy
you got that, you got the fucking crazy election
coverage, you've got fucking
wildfires in Irvine, California
they're like evacuate
60,000 people
and then there's
all the methane in the Arctic is starting to bubble up and like release.
And like every story,
every story was the worst story you should hear this year.
And they were just in succession.
Yeah.
There's one right after the other.
Right after the other.
Yeah.
And like,
I'm not even kidding.
The news anchor was like,
whoo,
that's a lot.
Yeah.
I was just like, oh, yeah, man lot. I was just like, oh, fuck.
Yeah, man.
Oh, good.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
I do want to say tomorrow is,
tomorrow, this release is on Monday.
Patrons will get it beforehand,
but this release on Monday.
Tomorrow's voting day.
Have a plan to vote if you haven't already.
Yes.
You're more likely to vote if you have a plan.
My plan would include, if I were to vote on
voting day, would include creating a cheat sheet to take into me with the ballot. And actually,
to be honest, if this is Monday, you might be able to get out there today and vote. A lot of places
are open early voting and you might be able to get in out today. But if you are planning on voting,
if you make a plan, you're more likely to do it. And so a couple of things that help bring a buddy, if you can, uh, it's always nice to have somebody
there with you, especially if one of you has to leave to go to the bathroom on a line, you can
at least stay in line together. Uh, make sure your phone's charged, make sure you bring a charger,
make sure you bring snacks, make sure you bring water, a book to read, whatever it is, that's
going to keep you occupied. I mean, I'm suspecting that the lines are going to be very long no matter where you are. And so you want to make sure you have a plan to go
and go out and vote. If you haven't done it yet, and you're listening to this, every single person's
vote counts in this. It's very important that you go out and vote. And your local elections are
really important. So even if you don't care about the presidential election, I don't know how you
can't, but if you don't, there's plenty of local elections that need your input as well. So even if you don't care about the presidential election, I don't know how you can't, but if you don't,
there's plenty of local elections
that need your input as well.
So go out and vote.
Make sure you go out
and exercise your right.
This may be your last opportunity.
So this might be your last turn
to vote ever.
Might be your last chance.
So I don't want to be-
And I'll say this,
super alarmist,
but I voted this week.
Yeah.
And like in the suburbs, it was a six minute process.
Like I parked my car, six minutes later, I was back in my car.
You are a different animal though, I guarantee.
Because I've seen people waiting hour and a half,
two hours on my Facebook feed all over.
And so that's a-
But your point is well taken.
If you have a plan-
Yeah.
You know, you got to make a plan. If you have an opportunity to
vote early, I mean, obviously that's what I did. Your vote early facility is like, yeah,
they're swamped at the bookends of the day. But if you have an opportunity to go on your lunch break,
a lot of those places are nowhere near as busy from 11 to 3. They're a fucking nightmare from
4 to 7. They're a nightmare from eight to 10,
but the middle of the day. So if that's an option for you and you can pop off,
grab your lunch break and go vote, that might save you some time, might be a good opportunity for you to do. It's important. It's really important. The other thing I learned is you,
depending on the state that you're in, don't take a picture of your ballot. In some states,
that's perfectly fine and perfectly legal to take a picture of your ballot. In some states, that's perfectly fine
and perfectly legal to take a picture of your ballot and post it on your social media. In some
states such as Illinois, that's a felony. So if you take a picture of your ballot and you post it
on your social media, you could find yourself in a little bit of trouble. It's something I just,
I actually took a picture of my ballot and was going to post it to encourage people to vote.
And then I Googled whether or not that was allowed. It's not in Illinois. It's not allowed. In some states, they've passed laws specifically
allowing it to be posted to social media to encourage people to vote. Illinois is not one
of them. Yeah, they should allow it. I don't know what the big deal is, but in any case,
they don't allow it. So it's something I want to pay attention to. It's interesting because it's
from anti-bullying laws. So the law actually goes back to where like people would get bullied outside of polling places.
And then they'd get, you know, like, hey, I'm going to kick your ass if you don't vote for Tom.
And then they would show their ballot to the next guy and be like, look, I voted for the guy.
So you don't have to kick the shit out of me, you know?
Yeah.
So they made it illegal to show your vote to people.
Ah, I see.
I see.
In order to prevent people from extorting the vote, right?
So anti-bullying around vote bullying.
Yeah.
But that doesn't really apply
in the social media world.
And many states have now changed their laws
to allow it specifically to be posted.
I'm just letting people know
to double check that
before you find yourself in trouble.
Yeah, double check that shit, yeah.
So, because I have a real nice picture
that I can't show
that I was going to use
to encourage people to vote.
But yeah, it's important.
77,000 votes is what decided the election last time.
And I will say, I want to ask you this.
This is something I'm actually curious about.
Right now, I want to say I saw the figure today was 80 million people have requested
some kind of early voting or ballots.
And there was, they were,
I want to say it was up to in the 70s,
75 million people have already voted.
Incredible.
And it's right now,
I want to say it was a 60 plus percent of what was done in the last election.
So over 60% of people that voted in last election,
if we were to compare them,
have already voted.
Yeah.
I got to ask,
do you
think that we are going to see a record turnout this time? Or do you think that the reason why
this is happening is because COVID is making people replan their way in which they vote in
order to avoid more people and to try to avoid rooms and things like that and other people with
possibly with COVID? I think we're going to see record turnout. I think we're going to see, avoid more people and to try to avoid rooms and things like that and other people with possibly
with COVID? I think we're going to see record turnout. I think we're going to see, I do. I
think we're going to see unprecedented turnout. And the reason I think that is if you look at,
so that number, that nationwide number you just talked about, I think is really important. But
I saw a similar article that broke that down by state. And in some states like Texas, the number
is vastly, vastly higher. And that's a
state where there's plenty of people that don't believe COVID is something to worry about.
There's plenty of people that are still going to go vote in person. There are people like me who
I feel uncomfortable with the mail-in ballots still. So there's people that are still not
comfortable with that process. So I think we are going to see... and in Texas, it's higher. It's like 80% of 2016's vote has already turned out in Texas.
So I think we're going to see a massive unprecedented turnout.
I think we're going to see the most turnout of our lifetime.
And maybe in recent American history in this vote, in this election.
I don't remember ever, I'm talking to people all the time that have never voted that are voting all the time
that have, I mean, people my age, Cecil, like we're not talking like young people who are like,
oh, just get like people that are in their forties that have never been political.
My dad, my dad, I have never talked to my dad about religion, politics, or money in my life.
I know who my dad's voting for. My dad is excited to vote. But he's old. He's going
to go on voting day. I wish he wouldn't. I wish he would have fucking early voted. He's a million
and he should not be doing this. But my dad and I have talked about politics for the first time
in 42 years. We've talked about it a lot. This is, I think, the most hotly contested election
of our lifetimes. I was in Marquette, Michigan on vacation this last weekend.
I went up there.
I went to Mackinac Island and Marquette, Michigan to go walk Pictured Rock up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.
And I was staying in downtown Marquette.
And as I was going home to my hotel, I saw a Trump parade.
Ew. Ew.
Yeah.
Like maybe 15 cars.
Did you throw up a little?
15 cars all had their,
their flags hanging out the window.
Their Hitler Youth signs or whatever.
Their flags hanging out the window.
They're honking
and they were playing
the literal worst song I've ever heard,
which was essentially,
it was,
gonna go get Trump and Trump
and go, go, Trump, Trump,
go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Trump, Trump, Trump.
And I just, I don't know what it said.
I couldn't tell you what it said.
That's what I heard.
So I think I recreated it for you.
Well, but I think that's what it sounded like.
Ian, Ian, I need you to clip that and set that to music, buddy.
That needs to be a thing for me.
Just even if it's for my own private use, I need that, Ian. It was
genuinely, as soon as I heard
it, it's the moment in
those movies when Jim Carrey looks like
he's going to throw up. It's that moment where you
could just see his whole body like a cat.
I started doing
that, and then I got to the end, and the people were
waving at me. And I just looked at him, and I
mouthed, fuck off.
And I kept driving but yeah so there was a Trump parade up there but I wasn't actually heartened by the number of Biden signs
I saw I I thought for sure I was going to be driving up into an area that was uh more Trump
Pence because it was more rural but uh everywhere near the larger cities was 100%, almost 100% Biden.
Biden.
And then even out in the rural sticks,
I was driving and seeing giant Biden signs.
And there was a concentrated push
for Biden ads up there.
I saw a lot.
There was also some really,
Trump's ads are so bad and so awful.
They're the worst.
He's just, he has a guy come on and say,
Vice President Biden wants to steal all your healthcare,
stab your babies in the face and kick your kitten.
It's the worst.
They're the worst.
And I just, I couldn't believe it.
And the ones for Biden,
I thought were actually pretty good.
They never really felt attacky.
They just felt like you were going to get a leader, like you were going to get somebody who could actually
be an adult in the room. I saw Trump today at one of his rallies talking about how,
oh, you got to wear the mask all the time. You got to eat through the mask. You got to drink
through the mask. He keeps on, even though he keeps saying he's not against masks, he's clearly
mocking them at all of his rallies. I know. And so even when they call him on it and say,
hey, you're mocked.
Why are you doing this?
He says, oh, no, I'm not.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not.
Yeah, you literally can't.
There's nothing you could say to this guy
to get him to not lie to you.
No, no, no.
And like at his latest rally,
first of all, we have a president.
The president of the United States
is at this point resorting to dishwasher
technology to try to sell the american people that's his big that's the big thing he did yeah
that that's what he accomplished this last week in the middle of your coronavirus pandemic guys
the reason like imagine how fucking shitty your fucking life is right now because of the goddamn
covid pandemic we can't get a stimulus bill done We can't get like any fucking national mandate on masks.
We can't get a cohesive fucking foreign policy
or domestic policy around this thing.
We can get a handmaid in the Supreme Court though.
So that's a pot.
Right, we can get a handmaid in the Supreme Court.
That's done.
Fucking woo-wee to that.
And like now dishwashers can use more water.
We rolled back the regulations,
which reduced
the amount of water
dishwashers could use
from 10 gallons
to five.
Now they can use
more water.
So you don't have to run
your dishwasher
as he says 10 times.
Yeah.
He's never run
a dishwasher in his life.
He's fired a dishwasher,
but he's never run
a dishwasher.
He's run over
a dishwasher.
Yeah. That guy would break it
he just eats off plates and shatters them on the ground i know right he likes he eats in a house
and then he lights it on fire and walks out at least that's how he handles his finances that's
what we see from his finances well that's why he's a billion dollars in billion dollars in debt
did you see the the the 60 minutes interview that
that came out where they did not see it where i read about i know i know like he got uh kaylee
to come out and hand him yeah and the leslie stall his his plan and it's just his health care plan
his health care plan is just full of a bunch of disjointed executive orders and like didn't
smart as rappers or whatever funny yeah yeah inside
inside is a is a toll ticket for an illinois tollway unbelievable it's like so amazing if
it was a scrapbook if you opened it'd be great if you open it up and there's a pop-up and it just
said your health care like the next is a syringe and like a patient looking sick.
Or it's cut out in the center and he opens it up and inside is a pistol and you just shoot yourself in the face with it.
That's what my health care plan is.
We'll put you out of your misery quickly.
I watched the whole thing.
And I have to say, I feel like I know a lot of people look to some of these reporters and say, wow, they're really asking hardball questions. But it didn't feel like she asked a lot of hardball questions.
It felt like a bunch of softballs that she never really followed up on.
And then he still stormed out, man.
She's not even asking him hard questions.
They're real easy questions.
And they're, Tom, some of these even asking him hard questions. They're real easy questions, and they are, Tom,
some of these are legit softball questions,
and he seriously gets, he's so hung up on the fact that she said,
are you ready for some tough questions,
that he can't get it out of his head, and he ruminates over it,
and then he just keeps on staring at her,
and he's getting poutier and poutier as the thing goes on.
He's getting that crumpled, grumpy face where he crosses his arms and he gets all,
he looks like a little gnome.
And then he,
he basically got super mad at her because he,
she literally quoted him and he could not take it.
He couldn't take the quote because he quoted her saying,
please like me to the,
to the,
yeah,
to the mission, to the women, to the women to the women the suburban women and he he hate he he thought she was mocking her and that
was the end of the it was essentially the end of the interview but i man i i can't and then
there's the only person they really ask about race they have to dance around the topic of race
they're they're constantly dancing around and saying there's
so much tension, right? Nobody's able to just be like, hey, dude, you don't seem like you like
black people. What's up with that? Nobody says that to him. Everybody's always just like, oh,
we got to, I get a tiptoe up and I've got to ask this question because I don't want to upset this
fucking petulant toddler. Nobody ever asked him a hard question and he still gets mad and I don't
understand it. How you could look at this guy and think that's my guy man i don't i think he's a child how do
you look at that guy and think that guy's tough yeah you're not tough if you can't handle a
difficult like if things are difficult and all you do is bitch about how hard shit is that's not a
tough guy oh it's like yeah that that was hard but i made it look easy that's
a fucking tough guy a tough guy's like yeah i fucking went in did a hard thing fucking wipe
my brow and had lunch yeah that's a fucking tough guy this guy isn't a tough guy at all i think that
i think cecil to your point like these reporters part of the reason that they behave the way that
they do is because they know he'll just storm out.
They know that if they want to get an hour's worth of footage for their television show or for their article, they've got to treat him like the petulant, to your point, like the petulant
child that he really is. They've seen so many times situations where in a press conference,
a hard question does get asked and he mocks the reporter and never calls
on him again. He set an entire precedent for three and a half years where if you ask a hard
question, you get kicked out of the fucking White House press corps. You never get called on. You
get mocked. You get called fake. If you have an hour interview, I think the only way to deal with
him is to kind of stroke him a little bit, make sure he's good and hard, make sure he's, you know, what the fuck?
My problem with that is that,
the problem with that I have with that is that that feels irresponsible to me.
And it feels irresponsible because you're giving him airtime that he doesn't deserve.
If he can't handle it, then he shouldn't have it.
You know, you just don't give it to him then.
And you go, then you spend, because they spent more time with Pence and Trump,
at least they aired more time, it felt like, with them
than they did with the Biden and Harris.
So give them more time.
If they're willing to answer your questions,
give them more time.
You already had planned to interview them.
Give them more time then.
You know, and I know that people will say it,
but if you're going to storm out of the interview,
you're the one who left.
Everybody was ready to ask you questions.
It feels like we keep on catering to him.
And what it does is it makes it feel like what he has to say has weight
because he'll say blatantly false things that people won't call him out on.
He'll say things like, we're turning the corner.
And nobody looks him in the face and says, we are not turning a corner.
That is a lie.
Instead, they say, well, how exactly do you think we're turning
the corner? He'll say, we are. And then that's the end of the conversation. They never follow
up on it. There is, I think that there needs to be something done. I'm not a reporter, so I don't
know how, I don't know how to fix it, but I don't know that what they're doing is the best course
of action because it feels like you're giving him the best, the best of all the worlds. You're
allowing him to walk all over you,
and then he gets to walk out.
And then when he does,
all of his followers think he did the right thing
and that he showed the media what's up.
Alternatively, though,
I will suggest that you and I aren't the only ones that see it that way.
And his supporters would lick up his fucking cum
no matter where he splashes.
It's true. No matter what he does, they'll do it.
So there's a certain segment that does not, it doesn't matter what he says. If he says it,
it's gold. I think that when he looks, when he refuses to answer questions, I think people see
it. When he walks out of an interview, I think a lot of people see him as a child. I think a lot
of people discount him as a leader when he behaves like that. I think it does him more harm than good.
And I will say that the Biden campaign, the way that they're running that campaign suggests the
same thing. What I mean by that is in the last two weeks, Biden and his campaign have scaled back the
amount of in-person visits and rallies and speeches, and they're giving Trump more opportunity
to hang himself. Because what they're seeing is that after every rally,
his numbers go down.
Yeah.
Every time he has an opportunity,
like the last crazy thing that he said to the,
at the last rally was,
he said something like,
you know, suburban women,
I'm going to get your husbands back to work.
You want your husbands to go back to work,
I'll get your husbands to go back to work.
He's talking to women like it's 1953.
Did you see what he did to Martha McSally? Did you see what he did to Martha McSally?
Did you see what he did to Martha McSally? Get up here quick. Nobody wants to hear it. You got one minute. Nobody cares. And he let other people, the men talk for much longer. And he, the way he
treated her was just, and she just sat there and lapped it up too. It's insane to me that these
people let them walk all over him and they're still doing it. I know that we saw a couple of
weeks ago, people were fleeing a little bit.
They were, they're trying to separate themselves
doing the, I was never with Trump bullshit,
even though they have been for years.
But they're trying to separate themselves now.
But even still, there's so many people
that are willing to tie themselves.
They're strapping themselves to the mast of this Titanic,
waiting to go down.
They don't care.
They just don't care.
Yeah, the McSally thing, he literally said to her, like, come on up. Nobody cares what you're
going to say. He says, I actually want to quote it because it's so unbelievable what he says to her.
Let me grab it real quick. And this is Martha McSally from Arizona. He's at a rally in Arizona.
at a rally in Arizona,
she is running for reelection and is the sitting senator.
So she is an important person in that race.
He had other men talk that were not running
and that were either not running
or were already sort of winning their races.
They're also,
others out of state,
but also winning their races,
not losing like she is.
So here's what he said. Martha, just come up fast, Trump said. Fast, fast. Come on, quick. You got
one minute. One minute, Martha. They don't want to hear this, Martha. Come on, let's go. Quick,
quick, quick. Come on, let's go. That's how he introduced her. And did you see the buses
that the Trump buses left? They left a bunch of people. And now this is the planner who ever planned it.
I'm sure his shit rolls all the way up to hell to Trump.
But you know, the people, his campaign who planned this out,
they went out to the airfield and it was cold in Omaha.
I think that's where it was, Omaha,
where it was very cold that night.
It was below freezing.
And so they went out and they had this rally,
but then they didn't have enough buses
going back and forth. And it was a several mile walk to get back to where the cars were. And
several people had to walk. There were people who were hospitalized because of it. They got,
they were so cold. They were in a hypothermic. And so, yeah, so there's a, that also shows you,
and from what I saw, and I'm willing to be corrected on this, from what I've seen,
he hasn't made a comment about that at all. To say, I'm sorry, or to say, hey, I'm really sad
that my campaign fucked up so bad. There's been nothing. They haven't said a word about it.
And that, in my opinion, is a perfect microcosm of how Trump operates, which is, I will fuck
shit up and then literally not even look backwards.
I don't even care what I just did.
Yep.
Yep.
And I'll just use you.
Yeah.
I will use you and throw you away.
You're a photo op.
I don't give a shit.
I give a fuck about you guys.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
I hope some of those people didn't vote yet.
That's my hope.
I hope they didn't vote yet.
I know.
And then they came back and said,
you know what?
That really kind of sucked. Fuck this guy. That's my hope. I hope they didn't vote yet. I know. And then they came back and said, you know what? That really kind of sucked.
Fuck this guy.
That guy was a dick.
I don't care about my dishwasher
as much as I thought I did.
Before we shift gears,
the last piece, Tom,
the last piece
I want to talk about.
We see
there's a lot of support
in these rallies for Trump.
You're seeing thousands
of people show up
at these places.
How do we feel uh, in these rallies for Trump, you're seeing thousands of people show up at these places.
How do we feel about that in particular? It looks, it makes it feel like there's a lot more people are for Trump than are for anyone else, but those people could be traveling from great
distances to get to that one concentration point. And no matter
what, all those people only have one vote. I mean, you could get a whole bunch of people together.
They all only have one vote. So how do you feel about the way it's portrayed? Do you think that
we have something to worry about when it comes to the polls and things like that? I don't know. I
really genuinely don't. I think a lot of people will go to a concert, right? Like if you have a, if Tool has a
show, they're going to sell out that show. Now I can walk down the street and ask the next hundred
people, how many of you guys like Tool? Yeah. And maybe 12 are going to say, I love Tool. Yeah.
Right. And, and maybe of those 12, six are going to say, and I'd pay to buy a ticket. Yeah. It doesn't mean he won't, they won't sell out a fucking big ass arena show.
Yeah. Right. Right. When you've got big numbers, 16,000 people looks like a lot, but if you do
that in Chicago, there's, you know, 9 million people in the Chicagoland area. It's nothing.
It's a drop in the bucket. Yeah. You know, it's kind of the, um, you'll also travel far too.
That's the other thing you, hold this thing in Tulsa,
you're going to get people from different states even coming in.
Yeah, right.
Hardcore fans will go.
I mean, again, I'll liken it to a concert you really want to go to because there's a cult around it that's very similar to a big rock show, right?
I once flew to San Diego to see a concert.
Yeah.
And it was cool.
And I'm glad I did it because it was an experience.
And I think these Trump rallies are an experience for some people. I think the Trump phenomenon is
an experience that they want to have. And, you know, if it was, to be fair, if it was a candidate
that I thought was really shaking the world up on my side of the game, I might do the same thing.
Yeah. I really might. I don't think the numbers really represent anything. It's kind of the internet forum problem, right? So I go online and I'm a crazy whack out incel and I can find
10,000 other incels. And I think that's a really popular opinion, but it's not because it's 10,000
divided by 7 billion. It's nothing. So yes, is there a representation issue?
Yeah, every one person in that stadium
is representative of certain number of people
out in the culture.
Of course there is.
What that value is, I don't know,
but it's a gimmick.
Yeah.
And it really feels like a big rock show to me.
Yeah.
You know, and it kind of suffered.
Like, you know, if Elton John went to play a show, he'd sell out a show wherever he goes to me. Yeah. You know, and it, it kind of suffered like, you know, if Elton John went to
play a show, he'd sell out a show wherever he goes to play. Yeah. But it doesn't mean that 51%
of people want to go see the fucking Elton John show. Maybe that was the wrong example. He literally
might be the one person, 51% of people might go see a show. There's a lot of people want to go
see him. I'm using literally the wrong example, but you know, the point still stands that there
are, there are a lot of people that can sell at a big venue. Yeah. It's not that big a deal actually. Yeah.
What do you think? I, I, I, uh, it's, it's crazy to me because the representation is,
there's Trump parades, there's Trump boat tours, there's Trump, this Trump that, but I think that
these are just, I think it feels like these are anomalies.
It does not feel like these are people, they're the ones also getting press for this, right? So
I get a chance to see a Trump parade because someone took video of it because they took video
of it and they posted it on the internet because there was a conflict of some kind there. And so
they took video of it. And so that's why I saw it. I saw it because someone had posted it,
but I would have no idea that it even happened
in whatever county of whatever state
because I would have no idea
if I didn't see it on the internet.
I would have no idea that that Trump boat thing happened
if one of them didn't sink.
They might've said it somewhere.
I might've seen it, but maybe not.
And so the publicity of it is also another thing that makes it feel like
it's bigger than it actually is, which it might not be. Like I said, I saw a Trump parade in
Marquette this last weekend, but there was only 10 or 15 cars. It wasn't a big parade. It was
over relatively quickly. It wasn't running around the block. It was 10 it was over relatively quickly. I saw, I didn't, it wasn't running around the block. It was, you know, 10 or 15 cars maybe. And then they just turned around and they did
their thing. It wasn't a huge. And so, uh, short length, a little disappointing and over before
you know it. Exactly. Yeah. Grab me by the pussy on its way out. So, but yeah, so it's, it's not a,
it wasn't something that I thought was, was that, was that, uh, earth shattering. But I, I,
and I also am very heartened by
the numbers because the numbers feel a lot better
than they did with Hillary.
The numbers are larger. They're larger margins
in places where
they had
an error bar last time
where they weren't within the margin of error
and she lost a bunch of things that weren't
in the margin of error and now
she's not running and they're well out in the margin of error. And now she's not running
and they're well out of the margin of error.
And these are polls that are very legit.
In fact, some of the highest rated polls
have Biden leading in some states
by as much as 17 points.
And these were battleground states last time.
So it's a big difference.
I also think with the Trump parade
thing, Cecil, I think that there's a, first of all, the whole Trump rally, Trump parade, that's a
feature that's brand new that's specific to Trump, right? He wants to get that turnout. Yeah. Nobody
else has asked their supporters to do that. Yeah. You also, I mean, just imagine this conversation
on a Facebook group.
Hey, do you guys all want to get together in COVID-19 world?
Y'all want to get together and do a Trump parade?
Ask a bunch of right-wingers, ask a bunch of left people.
Right-wingers are more likely to just, they're just more likely to get together right now.
Yeah.
You know?
So it's one, you've got this phenomenon of the rally, this ongoing, continuous political campaigning that's a feature of Donald Trump that's never been a feature of any other candidate in modern history.
Most candidates have never held rallies like this.
They'll hold some pre-election events.
They didn't hold rallies throughout the entirety of their— Yeah, he did it the entire time.
He did it the entire time. He did it the whole time, right? So, I think that this is a unique
feature of him and his base,
but I don't feel like it represents
a lack of that feature on the other
side, right? The other side
is like, yeah, I fucking stay home and vote.
What are you, fucking crazy?
I'm not going outside
in a big group of dipshits
to drink my fucking Keystone Light
and fucking sound my truck horn.
Get the fuck out of here.
Every one of these rallies
turns into spreader events.
Yeah, I know.
They're tracking them
from all across the country
and you're seeing it constantly.
Every single one
turns into a problematic issue.
The North Carolina one
that just happened,
they just got the numbers back on that.
That turned into a spreader event.
Yeah, they're going to all be spreaders.
It's like, of course they did.
Of course they did, because nobody wants to wear masks and everybody's
up really close to each other. Even if it is outside,
it doesn't matter. If you're not social distancing
and you're not wearing a mask, outside doesn't
mean anything. Right.
If you look at, like,
if you've got 11,000 people
gathered together in one place
and you only need, you know, 1%
of those people that have COVID,
you have 110 people that have COVID. And even if 10% of those people are super spreaders,
you've got 11 or 12 people that are super spreaders dispersed through a crowd of 11,000
people all yelling together. And those spreader events probably
only come about because people feel the
symptoms. Imagine how many asymptomatic people
never even got tested for that.
So now you have a chance that you're spreading it
even farther because they're asymptomatic.
It's a fucking disaster. It's a goofy fucking
thing to do. I want to say, too, if you're
interested, I know this is coming out Monday,
after you vote tomorrow, or
if you early vote today, or if you've already voted, come check us out. We're going to be going live. We're hoping
it's going to be around 7 p.m. Central Time. We're going to try to go live. It might be 7.30,
but we're going to be going live. We're going to have guests on. We're going to be going live all
night, election night, Tuesday night. We're going to be going live all night. We're going to be staying live the entirety of...
We're not expecting that we will call a winner
before the end of the night,
but we will be going live and talking about
all the different states and which way they fell
and giving you the election coverage
that you probably won't get everywhere else
because we'll be swearing.
So come check us out.
Come hang out with us.
We'll have Heath Enright on for part of it. We're going to have Dan and Jordan from
Knowledge Fight on for part of it. It's going to be a lot of fun. So come check us out. It'll be a
good time. Election night coverage with us here at Cognitive Dissonance. We're going to be here all
night long. And one other thing, Monday, Tuesday, if you guys vote, I'd love to see you guys post
it and tag us. Post your I voted, spam our page, whatever.
I just want to see a lot of activity.
I want to see people out there.
I'd love to see it.
I'd love to see people's fucking I voted selfies
and all that shit.
Put it up there, man.
Put it up there.
Put it on our fan page.
Put it on our regular page.
Put it on Twitter.
Tag us.
Put it everywhere.
Yeah.
Put it everywhere.
Let's create some excitement around this thing.
Gary.
Did you have a fun Halloween?
The spooks aren't stopping.
It's an evil day.
I'm not in the movie.
Oh, why not?
Because I couldn't trick or treat.
I mean.
No candy?
Where do you think my sweetness comes from?
But even still, did you not get into the spirit of Halloween?
No.
No, fuck that shit.
I want candy, goddammit.
Well, maybe I didn't tell you that Adam and Eve is having a Halloween-er special.
What?
Is that a dick joke?
Yes.
Adam and Eve says the best part of staying at home is playing at home,
so why don't you take advantage of a little decor suite by choosing almost any one item at 50% off.
When you do, you'll get free shipping delivered discreetly right to your door.
Just use the offer code GLORIA at checkout.
I still want something sweet.
Well, they have the sweet products.
Look, I mean, you can get edible massage oils or edible candy pasties that are like strawberry.
Or maybe you want some sort of candy cane waterproof vibrator.
Or have some naughty candy heart butt plugs that say, spank me, be mine, and do me now.
And you'll just be filled to the brim with sweetness.
I want a candy corn butt plug.
Stuff me with that goodness.
Uh, yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Did you know that Halloweener comes from the pagan festival of Vajalwin?
What?
Vajalwin.
Halloweener and Vajalwin.
Again, dick in a vagina joke.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
I'm just trying to cheer you up.
I know.
You want Halloween to last all through next week.
Yeah, next week's going to suck.
Well, if we're going to get fucked, we might as well get fucked together.
Go to adamandeve.com.
Use offer code glory, everybody.
Shopping sex toys has never been so sweet.
Good one. Yeah, that's great. I like that.
Yeah, it's great. I'm talented.
Alright.
Professor, you're such, you really are such a putz. You really are.
I can't understand your stupid thoughts. I can't take it anymore. I'm gonna eat my own finger.
How disgusting.
What, that I'm eating my own finger?
No, that Bob Dendro and Dawn Wells have hung in there so long with the sketch. How disgusting. What, that I'm eating my own finger? No, that Bob Denver and Dawn
Wells have hung in there along with the sketch.
That's unbelievable.
So Cecil, I grabbed this story because it reminded me of your
citation-needed Spite Houses episode.
Very much.
Very much.
This story is from CNN.
Billionaire Bill Gross accused
of blaring Gilligan's Island
theme song on loop at his neighbor.
So rude.
This is such a dick move.
This is such a fucking billionaire fight.
Yeah.
So here's how this plays out.
A fucking couple of billionaires have beautiful houses with pictures of the ocean.
And the one billionaire puts up a great big fucking glass art sculpture installation on their Laguna Beach property.
And then in addition to that, they add some lights and they install poles and a protective
net above the installation. And it blocks the ocean view of the neighbors. The ocean view,
the neighbor goes to the city council or whatever. And it's like, hey, you can't do that. I got to be
able to see out my window. You don't have a right to do that. It's right on my property line.
And the city sides with that guy.
Like, yeah, it's a dick move.
Give it back.
It's the ocean.
Please don't do that.
Yeah.
Rich people get to look at pretty things.
That's just how it works.
That's how it works.
And so the neighbor that is like,
cool, cool, cool.
All hours of the day and night,
pop music, rap music,
Gilligan's Island theme song on a loop.
And that's where you had me.
That's some Manuel Noriega shit
right there. That's what that is.
That absolutely is Manuel Noriega. You're exactly
right. What were they playing for
Manuel Noriega? Twisted Sister.
Twisted Sister. That's what they played.
I would fucking escape from that nightmare too.
Can you imagine having that?
I'd rather go to any jail
any jail there's no jail i would d schneider go to that crazy tom's being mean to you d schneider
i would rather go to that crazy supermax in colorado where you go crazy and like smear your
own poop on the walls i would rather be that than listen to fucking twisted sister at high volumes
all day and night i I will say this.
When they had their video out years and years and years ago,
now this dates me.
It's probably before you were around Cognizant,
but on MTV, they had a video that we're not going to take it.
I don't know if you've ever seen this video.
Yeah, yeah.
Where he grabs the guy and he drags him down the stairs.
And it's the guy from Animal House
who he's tormenting throughout this entire video.
And he's essentially tormenting him the whole time and he's screaming at him and they're shooting him out of a cannon.
It's fucking amazing, dude.
I remember watching that video and being like, yeah, we're not going to take it.
I remember it.
I loved it when I was a kid.
I fucking love that shit.
I actually don't hate it.
It's a terrible fucking song.
It's a terrible song. I mean, I will admit
wholeheartedly all that stuff is bad,
but I remember when I was a kid, that shit
rocked my jam when I was a kid.
But it's been a long time since I've been a kid.
I also, the Gilligan's
Island theme really does push it for me.
That would make me murderous.
I definitely feel like
billionaires,
first off, there's not enough guillotines,
I think we have made for billionaires.
But really, genuinely,
I would build an artsy guillotine on my property
if he were playing that kind of stuff.
What a fucking Spite House moment.
What an absolute Spite House moment. What an absolute Spite House moment.
I'm glad people have this much money, Tom.
I'm glad.
Isn't that wonderful that you can spend thousands to retaliate?
I'm glad you have this much money where you can spend thousands of dollars
buy your surround sound system for the outside
and play it for the neighbor
after you have to move your art installation.
Gosh, how does this make...
I hate all these people. I hate all of these people.
I hate every one of them.
Ridiculous.
To be entirely fair,
the neighbor that got punked
just got punked twice.
Like, what did that guy do?
He's like, oh man, I bought this house.
I had a view.
You fucked up my view.
I asked you to not fuck up my view
and now you're just,
fuck me, what a dick.
Have you ever had a neighbor this bad?
Have you ever had a really shitty neighbor?
When I was a kid,
we had a neighbor that was so bad
that my dad wouldn't let us play outside
for a couple of years.
We couldn't play outside.
That's a bad neighbor.
Yeah.
They used to beat the shit out of us.
And then we'd call the police.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
They had nine kids.
What?
They had nine kids next door.
Oh, I'd beat the shit out of everybody too. They had nine kids next door. Oh, I beat the shit out
of everybody too. It was nine kids. And they were, uh, they were an arrange of adults to two years
old. And they, uh, they would constantly play loud music and have big parties. And, uh, and if we
ever went outside, those kids would come over
and the ones that were older than us
would kick the shit out of us.
They would just punch us and beat us up and stuff.
And then when you called the police,
the police never did anything.
So essentially it was just a harassment campaign.
And eventually my dad just said,
look, you guys can't go outside.
You go outside, you're gonna get your ass kicked
and there's no reason to do it.
So he just never let us really play outside very much
for a couple of years as a child. So I was locked essentially inside of my house
because my neighbors were absolutely awful. But then the moment we moved from there,
my dad, it was the exact opposite. My dad was, I was able to go out and spend the entire day away
from home. I was around eight or nine and I could just
leave for the whole day. And I would leave in the morning in the summer and not come back until dark
and just whatever. They just didn't. They knew that I needed that level of get out of the house
that I never had. They were awful. They were genuinely awful people. They were awful neighbors.
They were genuinely awful. Yeah. Have you? Yeah. I've never had neighbors like this.
Like I was going to joke,
like we were always the bad neighbors.
Like I've always,
but not in this way.
Like we,
my dad growing up,
I just had no interest at all in the neighbors
or the neighborhood.
And as it was,
and he didn't,
you know,
like single day,
we didn't decorate the house or,
you know,
have a barbecue and invite someone over.
Like that just wasn't a thing that we did.
So I remember not knowing who the fuck my neighbors were at all to the point where I
had a job at Burger King when I was a teenager.
And I had worked there for some time.
And some girl gets hired.
And I walk up to her and I introduce myself.
I said, hi, I'm Tom.
And she looks at me like I'm a fucking idiot.
And she's like, I'm Tom and she looks at me like I'm a fucking idiot and she's like I'm your neighbor
and I said
I made it worse though Cecil
I looked at her and I said
are you sure
and she's like yeah and I said well did you just
move in and she's like we've lived
here longer than you have
I had no
idea I had no fucking idea at all and then I was the dick neighbor have. I was like, oh shit. I had no idea. I had no fucking idea at all.
And then I was the dick neighbor too.
Cause I was like,
I was a bored, unsupervised kid.
So like on my one side,
I had this BB gun
and on my one neighbor,
I realized,
I think I probably told you this story.
I realized that you could shoot
aluminum siding with a BB gun.
It makes a very satisfying,
perfectly round hole. And I'm maybe 12 and aluminum sighting with a BB gun. It makes a very satisfying, perfectly round hole.
And I'm maybe 12.
And I've got my stupid BB gun and I'm standing on my deck
and I spell my fucking name.
Are you kidding me?
No, but here's how I fixed it.
I spell my fucking name in their aluminum sighting.
And I'm very satisfied with the result.
I did a nice job.
You did a hell of a job.
Light them all up.
Good shots. Way to go, Tom. You can fault me for a lot of result. I did a nice job. You did a hell of a job. Good aim. Light them all up. Good shots.
Way to go.
Way to go, Tom.
You can fault me for a lot of things.
I have a money shot.
That's such a shitty thing to do.
And then I realized that I spelled my own fucking name in the aluminum siding of my neighbors.
And so then I was like, well, I got to hide that.
So I just obscured it by shooting so much that my name disappeared.
So now it's just like a honeycomb.
And then I realized, well, I did all that from my own deck, 12 feet in the air.
So where else could the shots have come from?
So then I tried to fix it by going down on the-
So I broke their house.
I hired a spider to eat the fly.
And then it was out of control after that well what i did is i i went around their house and just shot their house from a bunch of different
angles jesus christ man they had to know they had to know but nobody said anything
then i then on my my other neighbors when i walk out on my my deck oh my Then my other neighbors, when I walk out on my deck,
my other neighbors had a, I could see from my deck,
they had a pool.
And in their pool, they had all these inflatable animals.
And so I would go out there and I would be like,
he's out on safari.
He sees the giraffe.
And I would shoot them.
Because it's very satisfying.
They deflate very rapidly.
I bet it's very satisfying.
And you're like 13.
You can't not do that
when you're 13.
I know.
Same shit.
Nobody ever said anything to us
that I'm aware of.
Because I think we were the,
we were the neighbors
that weren't friendly.
Oh, yeah.
They knew it was you.
Yeah, they knew it was us.
But like,
it was just me and my dad and my brother and my dad's never home.
And he's kind of a grump and nobody was ever going to say anything.
So we just fucked shit up all the time.
Oh man.
And got away with it.
Yeah.
Like all the time,
Cecil,
all the time.
I,
I would feel bad if you were this billionaire neighbors,
this,
I would feel bad for this billionaire.
I don't normally feel bad for billionaires, but I would feel bad if he was your neighbor's I would feel bad for this billionaire. I don't normally feel bad
for billionaires, but I would feel bad if he was your neighbor.
I would feel bad for him. He'd wake up
and his wife is full of BB holes.
Let me apologize again for
my co-workers.
Working around here can be very
challenging.
I think I told you before that I
work with a bunch of monkeys
nice room guys i totally understand i actually work with a bunch of jackasses
no thanks guys i don't really feel like drinking at lunch all right this story comes from usa today
costco drops chacao coconut milk over allegations of forced monkey labor.
Monkey labor?
And I saw this, Cecil.
Do you remember
the Simpsons clip?
Yeah, with the helper monkey.
Yeah, the helper.
The helper monkey.
He's like,
that helper monkey
is going to change my life.
I can't wait
to eat that monkey.
And then,
I also love the one
where they're stranded
on a desert island
and they're like
well what are we gonna do
we're gonna get monkey butlers
how many will there be
one at first
but he'll train others
I wonder if the first time
they stay
that these
that these animals
get their paycheck
that they look at it
and they expected more
so they just shock the monkey
with the paycheck
different kind of shock I guess you know They look at it and they expected more. So they just shock the monkey with the paycheck.
Different kind of shock, I guess.
You know, so they're upset that there's monkey labor.
I don't know how I feel about this because I feel like the oppression Olympics
is going on a little here
because I know there's actual slave labor
in the world still too.
And should I be super upset about monkey labor
or can I care about two things at one time?
I don't know how to feel about it.
That's what I'm saying.
The thing is that I do know a little bit
about coconut harvesting, weirdly enough.
And it used to be that people did this work
and particularly children did this work. And it used to be that people did this work, and particularly children
did this work. And they would scurry up the trees, very much like monkeys do, in places where, to be
blunt, human life is just not worth very much. And people would fall out of coconut trees, and then
they would die, or they would be horribly injured. And now they use trained monkeys to do that. And
I'm sure the life for these trained
monkeys is horrible. Don't get me wrong. But if that's like one less kid that is otherwise going
to scurry up the fucking coconut tree, I'm okay with having the monkey do it. I just am. You know,
we use animals for all kinds of labor. Every time you ride a fucking horse, every time you ride a
horse, that horse does not know that it's having a recreational outing. Every time you ride a fucking horse. Yeah. Every time you ride a horse, that horse does not know
that it's having
a recreational outing.
That's work
for the fucking animal.
Yeah.
I was just thinking
the same thing.
There's a lot of things
that we use animals for.
You know,
the dogs that sniff shit.
Those dogs that are sniffing,
they're working.
Those dogs are working.
So I don't,
but I don't know
what kind of,
you know,
the other thing too is,
it's a conditions issue.
I don't know what conditions they're in. Right thing too is it's a conditions issue I don't know
what conditions
they're in
but if the animal
is
if there's a
the animal's getting
a living wage
you know
look
I think
these animals
I'm okay with
with animals
in general
doing human labor
and I'm okay with that
because
we've always had that
since the dawn
of human civilization.
And it's okay. As long as the animals are treated well. I don't think we have to stop having monkeys
getting our coconuts. That's okay. Go get my fucking coconut. As long as the fucking monkey
gets something too. The dogs that are the sniffer dogs have good lives. They get treats. They get a
lot of treats. Yeah. And they get a lot of pets.
So if the monkey got treats and pets,
I think everybody would be happy.
People would be fine with the monkey doing the work
because the monkey's happy
because it's getting treats and pets
and we're getting coconuts
and there's a great symbiotic relationship
between everybody.
But when it's bad,
it's bad that they are in these weird little cages and they keep them
in little cages and they probably beat the shit out of them
or whatever so that's probably not so great
I think also people just feel weird because monkeys are closer
I think you're probably right too
monkeys feel kind of human but I also think that's kind of
a western thing I think we feel
that way because we don't live in a place where
monkeys are just endemic
when you go to parts of the world where monkeys
are just like any other,
like a squirrel,
where they're just an endemic part of the world,
people don't have the same romance
around the goddamn monkey.
They just don't.
Go to India.
They don't have a big fucking monkey love over there.
Yeah.
Maybe that was a weird.
That is a weird.
That's a weird term to say.
Yeah.
Action League.
Now, today's episode sinkhole of doom
this is this story comes from offington post this is so new york it's unbelievable
i gotta read this thing yeah no man plummets into sinkhole as he waits for bus
finds horror below okay i'm gonna start with a preface that when the worst part of your day
is not i fell into a sinkhole but what you find in the sinkhole well and you know you must be a
new york what's crazy to me tom is that There was something more horrible than New York below it
I know
Oh my god
A New York City man was waiting for a bus recently
When he fell into a sinkhole
That held another horrific surprise for him
A swarm of rats
Leonard Shoulders, 33,
which has suffered a broken arm and
broken leg in the 12 to 15
foot plummet after the ground gave
way on a Bronx subway, his brother
Greg White told Daily News.
He couldn't move and the rats were
crawling all over him, White said.
He didn't scream because he didn't want
the rats going into his mouth.
Holy shit.
There were so many rats that he didn't want to scream for help with the rats.
I got to say, I got to say that is a danger even above ground is that a rat will jump in your mouth.
I mean, you learn, you learn if you're jogging in New York to just sort of breathe through your teeth
while you're there.
That's just so you could filter the rats out from the air,
you know, that are flying through the air there.
So this guy says the rats down there were ridiculous.
They were so big.
This is a native New Yorker, right?
You've got to be fairly used to rats at some point
when you live in a big city like that.
When you fall into a hole and the rats are like,
nom, nom, nom, our trap worked.
Jesus Christ.
I have, so Chicago also has its fair share of rats too.
And there's rats over by a bush.
There's this bush that they have created
a whole rats of nim complex in my parking lot.
And so I, one night I was walking home. It was after recording. I start walking and there's,
so my parking lot, I pay, I pay so much money to park in this parking lot. I pay,
I pay as much as most people's car payments throughout the year to park in this parking lot. I pay as much as most people's car payments throughout the
year to park in my parking lot because parking by me is atrocious. There's no real place to park
along the street. It's all taken up. And then, you know, the only parking lots available,
the monthly parking is astronomical. I still need a car for a couple of things. If I didn't,
if I didn't have a couple hobbies that needed a car a lot,
I would drop having a car altogether
and just figure out a way to get around Chicago without cars.
But I just never, I haven't done that yet.
So I still need my car for certain things.
So I park in this lot and the lot is so unkept.
It's falling apart.
The lot is, there's huge potholes in there.
It looks like an earthquake hit
every day. And then the other problem is that
there's giant weeds that
grow up that are literally as tall as your car.
They're all over the place. It's the craziest.
I pay so much money
and it's the worst parking lot.
And I pull in and there's this
giant clump of safari weeds
there. And I start walking up and a rat jumped out and ran to the bush.
And I shot straight up in the air.
I thought something was going to attack me.
And it was a giant rat.
I, motherfucker, I jumped straight up in the air when I saw the rat.
It just startled the shit out of me.
They startle me all the time because you don't see them.
And then you just, it's like the size of a dachshund jumps out.
You just, fuck.
And then you just, it's amazing. They of a dachshund jumps out and you just fuck and then you just, it's amazing
they're just the worst so
fuck those things, god fucking rats are the worst
I can't even imagine some Indiana Jones
shit falling into a pit of rats
the worst
what?
alright listen, this is all getting a little crazy
we cannot accept their conditions
if we don't even know what their conditions are
do you want to read it? No, it is
thick. Why don't we just take it? I could
kiss you on the...
What? So this story comes from the union leader,
woman accused of impersonating prosecutor,
dropping criminal charges
against herself. This story is fucking
amazing. This woman has these charges.
This is so stupid.
This woman has these charges, and the charges are not
nothing charges. They're drug possession and
stalking right so so what she does is she realizes that right now hold on hold on hold on hold on
hold on guys you got to go to this story and look at the fucking mug shots where she's smirking the
whole time yeah smirking so hard hard. It's a stalking charge.
And she's got this
shit-eating grin on.
Anyway, go ahead, Tom.
Well, she realizes,
I guess,
that the prosecution
is filing everything
electronically.
So she goes in
and files
whatever you file
to drop all the charges
against yourself
in the name
of the prosecutor.
It's so great. And so the investigator at some point was like, wait a minute. It says, prosecutors became suspicious
when they heard from a state forensic examiner who'd been scheduled to perform a competency
evaluation. The examiner saw a notice in Landon's court file. The prosecutors had dropped charges.
The examiner wanted to know if the examination should go forward. The file
purported to contain a nola prosequa,
whatever that is, dropped the charges,
filed by Assistant County Attorney
Patrice Kayston, but it quickly
became evident to the state that the
document, as well as other documents of the file,
had been filed fraudulently.
I just gotta say, fucking
kudos. I love it. Be like, you've been
arrested. That won't last.
I know the prosecutor.
Gosh, it's me.
That's amazing.
I love how smug she looks too.
She's just smiling, whatever.
I do what I want.
That is the look of somebody who would have gotten away with it too
if it wasn't for those meddling kids.
Oh man, as a meddling prosecutor.
That happens to you sometimes.
Please enjoy this clip from our live stream on October 29.
You know, it used to be that, you know, the amount of early voting, whether that early voting was in person early or absentee, was relatively small compared to the general turnout.
Now we're looking at massive, unprecedented numbers of early voting.
Shit we've never seen before.
So you and I were talking before the show.
What does that mean for election night in terms of the overall turnout?
Will the overall turnout be for 60% of the way there?
Will only 40% more people turn up?
Will we have essentially the same turnout, just spread out, more dispersed?
Or will we have a massive
massive turnout on the third on tuesday the third my feeling very strongly is we're going to have
massive turnout and massive turnout is good for democrats it's why the republicans have always
fought voter registration drive they've always fought they don't want big turnout they don't
want america to vote if we get unprecedented turnout, we get a blue
election.
We just do. Because Trump's base
isn't that big. I think
one of the first things that the Democrats
have to do, if they can flip the Senate,
which it's likely now,
it's not necessarily in the bag,
but it's likely that they can flip
the Senate and they will have the House.
That's very, very likely that they'll have the house.
And so they'll have, they, they might have all three branches of government,
right? You know, fingers crossed, whatever you got to do to,
to knock on wood, whatever we do.
But the,
the thing that I would love to see them do as the first agenda item is to make
election day a national holiday,
start making mail-in voting a national thing
that is allowed all across the country.
Put in rules that are in place by law for mail-in voting
and for absentee ballots.
I wouldn't even hate if they made voting compulsory
like they have it down in Australia.
I would love to see something like that
where they say voting's fucking compulsory. Sorry sorry we're just going to do this thing where we
make sure that everybody has to vote um i want to see them what they need to do is they need to come
in and say okay we're just going to make it so everybody can vote everybody has access to it
we're going to change all the rules to make it so it's so much easier because man all these stories
of these people who are fucking spending hours and hours and hours in line trying to vote.
That's fucking voter suppression, man.
It is.
People give up.
People fucking give up.
They leave there.
They can't spend all that time.
Think if you were working nine to five and you didn't have an opportunity to take a day off or an hour off or whatever, you wouldn't spend you can't spend your time.
You just can't get there and spend your
time voting like that. So we need to make it easier. We need to make it a much more streamlined
process, an easier process. And we need to figure out a way to make sure that it's secure. And I
think that they need to come in with that mindset to really just try to change how we create how we
how we try to perpetuate this democracy, because right now it's really
in danger.
Yeah, we have, and this is an opportunity.
If the Democrats take, if the Democrats do take the House, the Senate, and the White
House, not take the House, they have the House, if they hold the House, which they will, if
they take the Senate, if they get the White House, they can secure a blue run for for for generations i mean honestly
for for a generation or longer because the country is mostly blue it has been now for a long time
you know bush v gore gore won he won the popular vote most people are blue yeah most people if we just do the things that
you were talking about to to make it easier for people to vote republicans will never win again
they'll never win they'll just lose every time the reason they win is because they fucking cheat
yeah they cheat they don't they're not they're not really listening to the will of the people
yep hey ian there's a couple people in here talking about how long
they stood out here for a vote. Isaac says
he stood out for
nine hours in line to vote.
Holy fuck! Nine hours!
That's over a
whole day of work.
This is unreal.
The level of...
Wow! Yeah, Tom said it took him six
minutes. six minutes
to park the car vote and get back in the car i i now when i voted last time it took me over an
hour and a half to wait but an hour and a half is nothing in comparison to nine nine hours man
would you give up would you give up nine hours i would not give up because it's really important
to me so i would not give up but um well let me
rephrase that cecil in 2016 when my back was more fucked up i might not have physically been able to
wait for nine hours yeah and i think that's a real consideration for people too there's there's a lot
of people you know that don't have physically they just don't have the ability to wait for nine
hours there's people that don't have daycare for not for their kids to be away for nine hours there's people who can't miss work you're absolutely
right it's fucking voter suppression nine hours yeah i mean if if if my back was still fucked up
the way that it was in 16 i i literally would not have been able to stand for nine hours it
wouldn't my i couldn't nine hours wouldn't work i couldn't get through it i could not get through
it yeah no so yeah i might have given up cecil and there's a lot of like lou zealand here says for nine hours. It wouldn't, I couldn't. Nine hours wouldn't have worked. I couldn't get through it. You would have been fucked. I could not get through it. Yeah, no.
So yeah,
I might have given up, Cecil.
And there's a lot of,
like,
Lou Zealand here says,
I never had to wait in Chicago,
not for a minute.
Now I've had to,
every time I voted,
I've had to wait.
So I've had to wait
sometimes up,
you know,
before COVID,
it was sometimes up to an hour
is about how long
I would have to wait.
But I always voted
in a rush time.
I would go to work and on my way to leave the house,
which I would try to get to the office at 8.30,
so I'm getting at the polls at 8 o'clock in the morning.
Everybody's there.
So it's a rush time for me.
So I understand I'm going to have to wait, right?
So that's why I would do it.
But yeah, man, it's an unreal level of expectation
for people to go and to try to vote.
You know, it shouldn't be that hard.
No, it shouldn't be something that I have to spend my whole day on.
And if I do have to spend my whole day on it, I should damn well get paid for it.
Right. It should be. It should be a holiday.
And they could do that real easy.
All they need is those three things in place and they make that shit a fuck.
That's now it. That's a fucking holiday now.
You know what?
I'll trade you Columbus Day.
I don't fucking need Columbus Day.
You can fucking have one to get one.
You can have fucking Columbus Day.
I'll take fucking Election Day.
With the blessing of the Lord, let's start this exorcism.
I command that thy putrid spirit leave the holy being of this child of Jesus.
I cast thee back to hell.
To hell!
I cast thee back to hell.
To hell!
I cast thee back to hell!
Why don't you leave me a picture and resume at the door
and I'll get back to you, okay?
This story comes from lawofficer.com.
Lawofficer.com!
I have no idea. Tom, you gotta... This story comes from lawofficer.com. Lawofficer.com? I have no idea.
Tom, you gotta...
I have no idea.
This is a pro-police...
It's a pro-police paper.
Yeah, I think that's fair to say.
It says at the bottom,
it says,
Law Officer is the only
major law enforcement publication
and website owned
and operated by law enforcement.
Okay.
All right.
And so I just want to point out that this is even damning to law enforcement.
And so while you hear this, think of how bad this actually was
because they're so used to lying about how bad things are.
Right.
That's true.
Yeah.
So think about how actually bad this was.
Florida deputy performs exorcism on child, instructs another to shoot intruders.
Christopher Doherty was fired from the Orange County Sheriff's Office for an unrelated.
This is the part that it got me.
For an unrelated matter.
Unrelated.
What did he do?
What else are you doing?
What did you do that was worse than exorcism and telling kids to shoot people?
A sheriff's deputy of Florida was arrested Sunday after allegedly performing an exorcism on a child
and telling another there were demons in his home and to shoot anyone that entered.
Just to make sure you heard that right.
He's telling kids to shoot people.
Yeah.
While he's performing an exorcism.
Christopher Doherty, 37,
was arrested on child abuse allegations
the same day that he was fired
from the Orange County Sheriff's Office
on an unrelated matter.
The same day.
Yeah.
That's a long day, Cecil.
You're putting in a good,
hard fucking day at work
when the worst thing you did Tuesday
is not the exorcism and the,
like, that's not your worst part of your day, Cecil.
How, you know, I gotta say, you know, I'm laughing about this, but this is actually kind of
terrifying. And the reason why is because for good or for bad, people look at police officers as a
authority figure. You know what I mean? As somebody who is, especially as children,
you know, and I don't know, I can't, I can't tell you what it's like to grow up as a person of color
and how I would talk to my child about police officers as a person of color. But I know if I
were to have children, I would probably say to them, if you're in trouble, you can find a police
officer. Now throughout my life, that's been both true and not true,
but it's been something that I was taught as a child, right? If you're in trouble,
you should go search out the police. So that's what's scary about this is that this guy comes
in as this authority figure who is a trusted authority, who then is now doing heebie-jeebie,
wave your hands over exorcism stuff over kids
and then scaring them enough to say there's demons in the house and you need to be prepared
to shoot people as they come into your house. Think of how traumatic this is for these poor kids.
Yeah. I mean, listen, this is on the arrest affidavit. A girl wearing body armor and a
Kevlar helmet was lying on the ground in a shooting position with a rifle.
A boy was armed with a taser and Doherty was in possession of a handgun.
The children told investigators that Doherty performed an exorcism on the boy before telling the girl that there were demons in the home and directing her to shoot anyone who entered.
What the fuck?
This dude shows up and he's fucking dressing these kids like the fucking swap team. What the fuck? This dude shows up and he's fucking dressing these kids
like the fucking swap team.
What the fuck?
She's in the prone position.
Can you imagine if like,
fucking like,
goddamn groceries were getting delivered that day?
Yeah, yeah.
It's just gonna fucking shoot somebody.
Mailman comes by.
Yeah.
This is such a fucked up story.
But genuinely, the most fucked up thing is that he did something else that
deserved firing that we don't know about.
We don't know what that one was,
but he does have in his mugshot fresh stitches over his head.
So that might have something to do with it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Jesus Christ.
When that happens and the cops are like, okay, we gotta, we can't, we can't defend this one. This one't know. Jesus Christ. When that happens and the cops
are like, okay, we gotta
defend this one. This one we gotta let go.
Alright, he armed a child.
We'll let that one go. He armed a second child.
Fine. The exorcism was
above the line though. That one we're not doing.
So we want to thank our patrons. Of course we want to thank all our patrons. We want to thank our patrons.
Of course, we want to thank all our patrons.
We want to thank our newest patrons.
When you only can look forward to patron shout-outs on OA,
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Vincent, Gunner, Denny's, Dennis, Austin,
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thank you so much for your generous donations.
We really do truly appreciate
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You guys pay for Glory Hole Studios.
We are so excited because this week
we are going to be doing a full several hour live stream
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Buy us a food and we would really like that. Yeah.
We like food.
We can't afford it if you don't give us money.
So we got a little bit of email we want to talk about.
We got an image from Aaron.
This is a Trump-Pence sign, which I love.
It's very funny.
We're going to post it on this week's show notes.
I also, when I was up in Michigan, Tom,
there was a bunch of flags that were Trump-Pence flags.
And on the bottom, it said, no more bullshit.
And I thought to myself-
Oh, that's awesome.
There's no more cognitive dissonance
than thinking there is no more bullshit with a Trump-
Oh, is it Trump-Pence flag?
Yes.
Oh, I misunderstood.
Yeah, I know.
Somehow my mind wouldn't even connect that that was- No, that's a Trump. Oh, is it Trump-Pence? Yes. Oh, I misunderstood. Yeah, I know. Somehow,
somehow my mind wouldn't even connect that that was. No, that's a positive. Pro, pro Trump-Pence.
There was several. I literally, my brain wouldn't even put those things together.
No, there was a pro Trump. It was pro Trump. And I couldn't believe it. I thought. If you're pro Trump, how are you like, yeah, we need Trump in office to get rid of all this.
He's already in charge.
Yeah.
If you're tired of the bullshit-
There's been three years of it?
What are you kidding me?
It doesn't even make sense.
Who's the bullshit coming from?
Oh, gosh.
He still acts like he's not in charge.
I know.
He's still the underdog somehow.
I don't know how that works.
Yeah.
I'm the outsider.
You're not an outsider, motherfucker.
You're the president.
You're the goddamn president.
You're the incumbent.
That's not real. You're the president. You're the goddamn president. You're the incumbent. You're the only incumbent outsider
that's ever lived.
I'm so excited.
I hope he gets out of there
because I just want to stop talking about him.
I want to forget he exists.
Oh, I know.
That's what I want to do.
I just want to forget he exists
and move on with my life.
I know.
I want to be upset about things
that are not horrifying
and just disgusting.
At this point, I would vote for the
fucking face hugger from Alien.
Face hugger for Alien?
Yeah. And I mean,
I would vote for, if it's Trump
or Tom gets a face
hugger, personally, I'd be like,
I'll take the face hugger.
I'm going to take my chances.
I think I can
clench down. That's what I'm saying.
I think I can clench and keep.
I'll wear like a fucking COVID mask.
Are you kidding me?
Got a message from Matthew.
And Matthew says he wanted to give us a shout out today.
He voted Democrat for the first time.
He was a Christian conservative growing up,
lives in Texas, surrounded by right-wingers.
He says he's been listening to our show
along with the Puzzle Guys for a couple of years.
And we've changed his perspective.
And he said, I voted blue because you know, Matthew, you took in evidence, and you voted blue based on the evidence.
And so congratulations on looking at the world without any kind of other lens on it.
And congratulations on voting for the first time.
I think that's really great.
Yeah.
Voting worthwhile for the first time.
Pardon me.
Cause you just said you voted.
Voting in a way that is not horrible.
You did say you voted.
You never say you didn't vote before.
So I want to,
I want to caveat that with maybe you voted in the past,
but now you voted worthwhile.
Maybe you just did the worst job.
Maybe you're bad at it.
Maybe you're actually the worst.
Maybe we don't like you.
We got a bunch of messages when we talked last week
about how certain abnormalities and bone problems with infants
sometimes get mistaken for child abuse.
And we got a bunch of personal messages
and other people talking about their personal experiences.
We read all of them.
It's crazy. It's crazy that that's a thing that happens. It is crazy and it is horrifying. And
we got an email from somebody that went through it. And I just want to say, I'm so fucking sorry
for the families that get wrongfully accused of these kind of horrific crimes and have to spend
so much time and unbelievable amounts of money defending themselves from things.
I mean, they're defending themselves from crimes
which did not even happen.
Yeah, yeah.
Because we are not scientifically literate.
Crazy.
That's terrible.
That's just terrible.
We got a message.
This one is about packing the court.
And Tom, you wanted to talk about this one a little bit
because you said you read an article
that was actually kind of interesting.
Yeah, so this packing the court,
there's a lot of people who are saying
packing the court is a bad idea.
And there's a lot of good reasons
why packing the court is a bad idea.
And I tend to agree with a lot of those reasons.
One of the things though,
that if the Democrats have control of the Senate
and of the House and of the White House, one of the things, though, that if the Democrats have control of the Senate and of the
House and of the White House, one of the things that they can do, though, is they can actually
pass legislation that says that the Supreme Court does not get to hear cases about a certain topic.
So the Supreme Court gets to hear two different kinds of cases. Cases can rise up to the Supreme Court
because there is no other court to handle them, or they can rise up to the Supreme Court as the final
step in an appellate process. So there's sort of like the final appellate arbiter.
And when the Supreme Court and the Constitution, when they lay out the offices and the powers of the Supreme Court, it specifically says, except, and I'm paraphrasing a little bit, that these are say this is a type of case that the Supreme Court does not get to decide, which means that those decisions would stay at state-level appellate courts or at federal-level appellate courts.
Now, with all the court packing that Trump has done all over the map, that doesn't necessarily make those decisions safer.
But it does mean that they don't
rise up to the Supreme Court, which
is definitely not safe.
So, it's another option.
There's a possibility. There are some judges
in the federal appellate courts
that were appointed by other people.
And so, although he
appointed a fuck ton, man,
because they stalled
through the entirety of Obama.
They stalled.
They stalled the entire time.
There was plenty of appointments that they could have done.
And what was hilarious, one time Trump even said
he couldn't even appoint judges,
was what he said about Obama.
As if he wasn't trying to.
As if he wasn't cock-blocked.
Horrible.
Just all fucking...
The Amy Coney Barrett thing
we knew it was going to happen
but it still
fucking made me livid
when I saw it
I still
I knew it was going to happen
I 100% knew it was going to happen
there's nothing they could do
to stop it
and I saw
the worst part is
is that I saw
all these people
just bitching and complaining
about how
you know
the Democrats are weak
and they couldn't
and I'm like
what the fuck
could they have done
they literally
don't have the power to do anything.
McConnell runs the fucking Senate
and he makes the decisions.
They have turned it into the,
there's nothing they can do to stop it.
They literally couldn't do anything to stop it.
All the other stuff would have,
and it would have been,
there's a lot of bad optic stuff
that people were suggesting
that would have not done anything
and might cause people to lose the race. So it's,
there's just not any good answers. You know, the real, the real power of the Senate and McConnell
has played this out. The real power of the Senate is the cock block power. Yeah. That is the real
power of the Senate. Most of what McConnell has done in order to secure power for the Republicans
is to cock block. Yeah. Just to stall. You know, he just, he refuses to hear
all kinds of legislation passes the House.
It dies.
It never even makes it to vote.
Yeah.
He won't even bring shit out to vote.
He won't allow, you know, judges to be,
you know, appointed.
The amount of cockblocking that is,
that the Senate can do is amazing.
Yeah.
And, you know, I'll tell you what,
it's fucking tit for tat now.
Well, I know that a lot of people are saying,
oh, the Democrats don't have any backbone,
but I really hope they come in and they do some serious changes.
Like we talked about on the stream tonight,
I hope they very much change election procedures
and make it so that it's more often
that people have an opportunity to vote.
And the more people you give an opportunity to vote,
the more Democrats are gonna to vote, period.
And so, you know, you could change some things
really drastically based on that.
And then there's a lot of other stuff that you can do
that's not super drastic,
but really can be another barrier of their power.
Were they to get in office again?
So you need to make sure that we put in place
things that limit people's power
so that this sort of thing doesn't happen again.
This is from Luis.
And he says that there's a very interesting story
about dominatrixes forcing Trump supporters to vote Biden.
The ultimate humiliation for the MAGA set.
That's outstanding.
That's so great. That's outstanding. That's so great.
That's outstanding.
So funny.
I love it.
Tom, you wanted to mention this one.
This one is from Greg.
Yeah, so Greg writes,
regarding degrading democracies,
that argument's been around since Greece.
The Socratic argument was that you wouldn't go into a random bar
and take a vote on who to pilot a ship.
Why do it for a leader?
It goes on, but the gist is democracy is only as strong as the educational systems that enable it. You degrade education, you get
uneducated voters. I wholeheartedly fucking agree with that. I have become somewhat disenchanted
with democracy in general. I don't know that there's a better system, but I also am not
convinced that there's not. I don't know. I don't have that answer and I don't know that there's a better system, but I also am not convinced that there's not. I don't know.
I don't have that answer, and I don't want to just fucking randomly speculate, but I know that right now, letting every idiot fucking have a vote that does not know anything about how the goddamn world works leads to some pretty awful results.
And rising populist leaders across the world are evidence of that. Got a message about,
a bunch of messages about our forensic pseudoscience episode.
Just so many different ones.
People offering to come on the show,
people offering to talk to us about stuff.
We just want to say we write them all.
Thank you so much for sending in your messages.
It was good.
We got good feedback on that episode.
We're hoping to put together another deep dive episode soon.
If you ever have any suggestions
for deep dives,
send them to us
at dissonance.podcast
at gmail.com.
We'd love to look into them.
We're thinking about
a couple of them.
We have a couple ruminating now.
We definitely have to record one
for a bank
in case one of us gets sick
with the new surges of COVID.
So we're going to try
to put something together soon.
But we definitely love
people's
input on them. And they look like the ones that were released seem to get a lot of people really
like them. Here's an interesting story, Tom. This one comes from Canada. Research project
gave homeless people $7,500 each and the results were beautifully surprising. Participants found
housing faster, boosted food security, and reduced spending on substances, study found.
Yeah, this was really interesting. The results, like 115 participants aged between 19 and 64
had been homeless for at least six months. Importantly, we're not struggling with
serious substance abuse or mental health issues. 50 of those people were chosen at random and given
$7,500. The others formed the control group. I guess, fuck those guys. 12 months later,
they follow up and the results are amazing. They saw people retain over $1,000 for a 12-month span.
They saw people retain over $1,000 for a 12-month span.
52% of those people spent their money on food and rent, 15% on medication and bills, 16% on clothes and transportation.
Most of those people had moved into stable housing after an average of just three months compared to those in the control group who took five months to find stable housing.
So a little bit of a leg up to people in a dire straits
makes a really big difference.
A little bit of stimulus
can help people really move forward.
And that's why I really do think
the future that is brightest
has universal basic income
as part of what it does.
I think that's the brightest
future we can possibly have for ourselves is to have universal basic income. I think that would
change so many different people's lives and the people that already have it good. It might not
affect them very much at all, but the people who don't, it's such a drastic change from nothing
or low. It's such a drastic change.
And so I think that that might be the way
that we change things.
And so really interesting study.
So again, want to remind people,
come join us Tuesday.
Today is Monday.
So tomorrow night, we're going to be going live.
We're hoping sometime around six central
or seven central, 730 central, something like that.
We're going to be going live,
covering the election.
So come hang out with us.
You can find us at all the different places,
YouTube, Twitch, Facebook.
We're going to be broadcasting to all those places.
Come check us out. Come hang out with us.
It's going to be a great time.
We're going to have a lot of fun, hopefully,
depending on the results.
We're either going to have a lot of fun
or you're going to watch me cry on air.
The thing is, we had fun last time.
It was a terrible night.
Could be the worst night in history,
but we still had fun.
So come hang out with us on the worst night,
possibly the worst or best night in history.
Hey, it's a coin flip.
Come on, hang out with us.
It's not terrifying at all.
All right.
So that's going to wrap it up for this week
and if they're still
in America next week we'll be back then
but we're gonna leave you like we always do
with a skeptic's creed
credulity is not a virtue
it's fortune
cookie cutter mommy issue
hypno-Babylon bullshit
couched in scientician
double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative
acupunctuating pressurized
stereogram pyramidal free
energy healing water downward
spiral brain dead pan sales
pitch late night info doc
attainment leo
pisces cancer cures detox
reflex foot massage death
and towers tarot cards psychic
healing crystal balls,
Bigfoot, Yeti, aliens, churches, mosques, and synagogues, temples, dragons, giant worms,
Atlantis, dolphins, truthers, birthers, witches, wizards, vaccine nuts, shaman healers, evangelists,
conspiracy, doublespeak, stigmata, nonsense.
Expose your signs.
Thrust your hands.
Bloody, evidential, conclusive.
Doubt even this.
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