Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 600 Part A
Episode Date: October 25, 2021Thanks to all the awesome listeners AND especially those that sent in messages. EVEN MORE especially those musical messages in the bumpers. And make sure to follow George Hrab at @georgehrab on twitte...r Knowledge Fight @knowledge_fight on twitter Thomas Smith @seriouspod on twitter and those PIAT pod boys @piatpod on twitter
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock.
Hey, this is Revan. Congratulations on 600 episodes. Love them, and glory hole motherfuckers.
Hey Tom, hey Cecil. It's Brian Eggo from Glasgow Skeptics here.
Just wanted to congratulate you both on an incredible
600 episodes.
I shall raise a glass of iron brewing in your honour
tonight and then throw it down the
drain just as you'd want me to.
Get up you!
Guys, happy 600
from your only listener
in Thailand who convinced you
that roast goose is better than
roast turkey. You should celebrate
in Chinatown where I know you can get some and Tom needs to face plant into one as promised.
Keep up the excellent work. Hanging with you guys every week is time well wasted.
Hey guys, Hurricane Dane here. Congrats on 600 episodes. I heard about cognitive dissonance
through Seth Andrews years
ago, and your podcast has been one of the highlights of my week ever since. I love
catching your live stream and really appreciate all the extras you guys do for your patrons.
You fucking rock. Here's a toast to the next 600 episodes. Glory hole. Hi, Tom. Hi, Cecil. And just kidding. This is Carrie Boo wishing you a happy 600th episode.
I super duper love listening to the show. Thank you for all the fun and laughs,
especially on the live stream Thursday nights. You guys are great.
Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended.
The explicit tag is there for a reason. So it is our 600th episode and we are joined,
we wanted to make sure
that we got all our favorite guests
back on for our 600th.
And George Hrab, we invited you back on because you've been one of our favorite guests we've ever had.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Oh, I was going to say, because they weren't available.
So you ended up going with me.
Well, okay, that was also true.
Yeah, I guess so.
Guys, 600.
Congratulations.
That's fantastic.
It has been a hell of a ride.
10 years.
It's funny because recently we had this,
we had this realization that we started
because we were recording two a week for a while
when we had more time.
But we actually, we actually have been doing it
one a week for a long time.
And I remember a story came out
that was the 10 year anniversary of Occupy Wall Street.
And it's funny because that is really one of the major focuses of the first
time when we've,
so yeah,
it's like one of those,
oh yeah,
that was kind of the first big thing we really covered.
So yeah,
it's a 10 year anniversary.
Isn't it crazy how you look,
you look back on the decade or whatever it is,
or let's say in my case,
13 years,
but not that we're counting,
it's a competition.
But you look back and like,
you see these stories and you go, yeah, that was two years ago.
And you go like, no, that was nine years ago.
Yeah.
No, that was seven years ago.
You look back two years ago.
You're like, I was a different man.
Yeah.
Yes, totally.
I was a different, like, and I don't mean that like I've grown.
That's not what I'm trying to suggest.
I mean, I was, I was just an entirely different person.
Before when, when we were talking about what guests to have and we, I've grown. That's not what I'm trying to suggest. I mean, I was just an entirely different person.
When we were talking about what guests to have and your name came up very quickly
and we were like, oh yeah, we got to have Gio.
And then I just randomly remember,
remember when you came on to talk about
Prometheus with us all those years ago?
Yes.
Now, how long ago was that? What's that? Six years?
Seven? What?
Prometheus?
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
Yeah, we did that.
We did that awful Kirk Cameron movie as well about the statues.
Remember that one?
Yes, we did.
Yes.
What was that called?
I can't even remember what that was called.
Un-something or another.
Unfuckable?
That was it.
The Kirk Cameron autobiography.
It had that one guy, that guy who's a fake historian.
What's that guy's name?
David Barton.
David Barton.
Oh, yeah.
Barton and it.
Yes.
Memorial or something
or memorialized
or something.
I don't know.
Something like that.
It was terrible.
It was so bad.
It was about the pilgrims.
He fucked that whole thing up.
It was terrible.
The line was that,
you know,
oh, it's basically
America is Christian-based
because statues.
Yeah.
That was it.
Monumental.
Monumental statues.
There you go.
Full fucking circle.
We did it.
That's why we have Gio on.
We did it, everybody.
Yay.
Thank you.
Same with 1200.
Goodbye.
Good night, everybody.
George, one of the reasons why we wanted to have you on, we're talking about, you know,
Tom and I have talks all the time about online communication.
It's one of the themes of the show.
Both Tom and I are not sure it's good.
And so we've had many discussions.
That is the most precise summary of our position, though.
I love that, actually.
It's really been,
and Tom and I have been talking about this for a couple years now.
And, you know, we have these long conversations about, and, you know, the more things happen with Facebook and in UW News arguing on the internet, UW researchers studying how to make online arguments productive.
And one of the reasons why I thought to bring you on for this is you told a story on SGU Extra about a snarky exchange you had. And if you could just, I'll link the video in the show notes
so people can watch the whole video.
But if you could summarize that
just so we could start off
on an interesting footing here,
because I think that there's a really,
it's a really interesting story.
And I think it sheds a little light on this.
Yeah, I mean, in essence,
if you want the summary,
snark bad.
Snark bad.
That's basically it. That's what it comes, no. I posted a song on the YouTube, The Way I Do. It was a song called
The Least You Can Do, which the whole premise of the song is that the opening verses are,
hey, I figured out how to solve all problems. I figured it out. It's very simple, how we can
solve all the world's problems. And then the main song starts and it's just thoughts and prayers. That's all
you have to do. You have to offer thoughts and prayers. That's it. It's that simple.
So it's like an ironic kind of thoughts thing. And one particular listener, viewer who saw that
wrote me an email saying that I was cynical, that I was anti-religious, that the
song was terrible, that prayer has done so much good and things like that.
And we ended up having this back and forth.
And I initially started very, very snarky because snark is that short-term dopamine
hit, especially through email.
Email is wonderful because you have time to formulate a response.
It's not even like Twitter where there is a certain kind of timing issue that's involved or on Facebook or some kind of a text exchange or something.
You can really formulate.
You can investigate.
So I found out who this guy was.
I realized that he had signed up to be a purveyor of certain kinds of vitamins. And I was like,
I know your vitamin sales aren't working out. So I'm sorry about that. It was very, very sorry.
And we were going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And slowly through these emails as they got sort of less snarky from my perspective because he or or
more i i ended up going down this down this avenue of sort of saying like what really is the problem
like why are you really reaching out to me as a total stranger to criticize my music like what
what is what's the process for you turns out uh he had had a granddaughter that had died of cancer
they had raised money for her they had done her granddaughter that had died of cancer.
They had raised money for her.
They had done her.
His church had helped raise money.
They had done pancake breakfasts and all kinds of stuff.
So, of course, I immediately thought that was a lie, and I started investigating that.
Turns out it's totally true.
And our timbre changed 180 degrees where I started saying, I can't imagine what you've gone through.
I'm so sorry that this is what you've had to deal with. I can't fathom losing someone that close,
someone important. I don't have children. I won't have children at any point probably.
And we ended up connecting in this way. And he sort of appreciated that I could recognize he had gone through a loss and I could appreciate, and he could appreciate that I had this sort of creative endeavor and that I wasn't necessarily attacking religion proper,
but just kind of the abuse of religion and the abuse of, of just feeling good about oneself by,
by claiming, you know, all my thoughts and prayers are with you and everything ending there.
And it, it taught me like that the short term, uh, uh, like I said, the short-term dopamine hit of the snarky response is a very cheap and unsuccessful and unsustainable kind of high.
And that the long-term, what is the problem?
Like, why are you reaching out to me and why are you being mean to me?
Why are you saying the things you're saying is a much better tact to take.
Sarah Silverman had an amazing exchange on Twitter.
I don't know if you saw this, where a guy called her a cunt.
And her immediate response was, what's wrong?
Like, what's going on in your life that you're reaching out to me? And of course, turns out the guy had these back problems.
So Sarah got in touch with some doctors.
Like she said, okay, anybody in the Bay Area where this guy lives, who knows a doctor, who knows blah, blah, blah.
They ended up raising money for the guy.
He got back surgery, and he ended up being better.
Patton Oswalt had a similar thing, too.
Oh, you liberal Hollywood, you know, asshole.
And he's like, what's the matter?
Like, what's wrong?
Turns out his daughter was ill or something. Patton said to his father, he's like 2 million followers,
everybody throwing a buck towards this guy, you know, and he raised whatever, $40,000. So his
daughter could have surgery, you know, like that is such a better, healthier, smarter,
and sustainable approach to these kinds of problems, especially for us who are not
religious, especially for us who are critically thinking and critically minded that, and maybe
have an arsenal of snark at our, at our ready, um, like, like put that weapon away. You just
don't need it anymore. It's like, we've let, let the internet graduate from the teenage kind of snarky self.
You know what I mean?
Let's get into college.
Let's get into our grad school.
Let's all do it.
And let's lead the way while doing it.
It's so funny when you say that.
I think of the evolution of this podcast.
I genuinely feel like this podcast started up as a snarky ha- ha and it you only feel that way because that's an
accurate assessment i think that's what we intended it really is it really is what we
intended and i feel like it changed it changed quite a bit over the years and it and it i don't
know that it still isn't angry but it definitely is different yeah there's a difference between
anger and snark though over a decade man if you were doing the same thing that you were doing at, you know,
I'm not, you know, if you're doing the same thing at, at 30 that you were doing at 20 or 40 that
you were doing at 30, like there's, there's something, there's something that's too comfortable.
There's something that's not pushing you in a way that you need to be pushed on some level i used to curse so much more in my early shows i listen every now and then i'll be
hunting for some bit or something and i'll listen back and i'm just dropping f-bombs like just like
which i would never do like i i i reserve them as as as you know as actual bombs you don't want
to have an arsenal right but when you really need emphasis, then you can use it.
And then it's not that I have anything that gets cursing,
like curse all you want.
But just personally for me,
I just felt like it wasn't needed anymore
for the emphasis that I was using it for
or as the crutch that I was kind of using it.
And so you grow, yeah, and you change.
And it's like, to me, I think for me,
the biggest change has been,
I'm much more like compassionate and understanding of like, you know, people will send me, what do you think of this crap or this this song, this terrible song or this terrible artist?
And like years ago, it would be very fun to kind of tear apart something, you know, musical or artistic or, you know, a movie even or whatever.
And now there's a certain level like you know what if you like it like okay
it doesn't affect me one iota you know what i mean like yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe because we're
living in a world that like we've seen the result completely accurate the currency of snark yeah
like we've lived through we've lived through this world where where we have bought and sold and
traded snark as this kind of currency.
And it didn't, nobody's life got better.
Nobody's experience of the world was edified.
I know you're not, but I will speak as a parent.
I'm a parent.
My kids are coming into what is statistically,
I was thinking about this today.
They are coming into what is statistically the most dangerous 10 years of their lives. So my kids are 14. So the next 14 to 25 is the most dangerous time of their lives.
And that's for the boys. And the girl will also age into that very shortly. And I'm at a place
where I'm scared for them for all the reasons we were scared. And now I get to add on all these
other reasons, right? I get to add on all the reasons we were scared. And now I get to add on all these other reasons, right?
I get to add on all the reasons that the internet and online communication and the digital transfer
of information is provided. I just think we got to do everything we possibly can to try to graduate.
The adolescence of online communication is not, it's just not serving us. It's not. We're living in that
adolescence and it's the, what do we get out of it? We get this hyperpolarization. We get
a complete lack of privacy around our errant and minor misdeeds. We get a constant publicization of our most random passing worst thoughts sometimes.
Moving out of this, I think is, and we get January 6th.
Yeah. I was going to say one of the, you know, exactly. Cause there's such polarization and
there's never, I, it's so rare. You hear somebody say, I was 100% convinced by that other person online that they
changed my mind. It's just so rare. It's such a rare moment. So I feel like there's a push to try
to make that our online communication better and our online communication reach each other.
And I feel like there's something, and I don't want to sound too old,
too oldie McOlderson here,
but when I was a kid,
I used to go out and hang out with my friends
to have these big, deep conversations.
We'd go out in the middle of the field
in the middle of the night, look at the stars.
And when you read this article,
they talk about people wanting to go out
and have these conversations.
They are wanting to go out,
but the avenues are not the same.
They're trying to have these deep conversations and they want to have these deep conversations,
but they're sort of almost forced to have these online.
And what we're seeing is that you seem to fall into one camp, and then that's where you stay.
There's a weird volume issue, too, where it's like you keep amping up the volume,
so that both literally and also just sort of metaphorically.
So the volume gets to the point where it's so loud that you get January 6th.
Because what else?
What's the next step?
Oh, the next step has to be we all get together and we invade a place.
So we start smashing windows.
Because that's what those conversations turn into when there's such a vehemence of point.
And you can't,
you can't even think about the other side and it,
and it just gets,
it just leads to,
you know,
literal physical violence,
which is just,
it's just nuts.
The only thing I think,
which is maybe encouraging is that,
um,
what is it?
Moore's law?
You know how like every,
every chip it's whatever it's twice as fast.
Faster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like maybe kids or younger people,
like maybe there will be this sped up thing.
And if you use kind of the metaphor of schooling and that we're kind of in
this adolescent thing of,
of maybe late teenage years of the internet or,
or almost old enough to drink kind of thing.
And there's like,
you know,
when you turn 21,
you have that binge party.
Like maybe we're in that 21 binge party right now
in terms of what the web can offer.
And you make just stupid decisions at that point.
But maybe because there is so much information
that is available and that generation
that's kind of coming up through it now,
we'll get sick of it.
And we'll be like, yeah,
like why would we want to remain online in the same And we'll be like, yeah, like, why, why would we want to remain
online in the same way? Like maybe, you know, like, because it's, again, you can't quite fathom
how fast things can change. You look at the history of just, you know, just not even technology,
but just socially how things, how fast things change, you know, going back to looking on our past shows, there are jokes that I made 10 years ago or just even casual comments that were incredibly insensitive, but I was too stupid to understand the cultural perspective of it.
I wouldn't make those jokes now.
And that's just in the span of one stupid podcast.
Right. You know, let alone five years or whatever it is. Sure. You know,
transgender jokes
or references
or voices
or accents,
you know,
stuff that you kind of,
we've realized like,
oh,
this is really hurting
people,
individuals
that are powerless.
So like,
just stop it
because you have all this power.
So just,
just stop.
The way your perspective changes
is amazing.
It's amazing.
Through comedy, especially. The way your perspective changes is amazing. Through comedy, especially,
the perspective changes. And the only people that don't change are hacks. The hacks don't change.
They're the ones who will say, no, man, you're taking away my chance to be funny. This is my
chance to be funny. I want to make a funny sounding voice about somebody who's oppressed.
And you're like, no, that's not funny. That's just not. Yeah. It's easy. It's easy. And it's been done. And yeah, I mean,
you know, like Buddy Hackett did it 50 years ago and it was, you know, like, let's move on.
Let's move on. Yeah, totally. So I'm hoping that like, that, that in that same mentality
of like, really, you're arguing on Twitter?
Like, why would you do that?
Like, my dad did that.
Why would you do that?
You know what I mean?
I think it might be.
I think it might be like, you know,
like boomer shit.
You know, I think they might look at it like,
oh, really?
Like, you're going to engage in some nonsense
comment thread on Facebook?
Like, don't you have a life to live?
Why would you do that?
Yeah, yeah. I really genuinely hope that you're right.
Because like, I think, I think the thing that your story and Cecil, your story too, that what,
what struck me and then I wrote down while you're talking is, you know, there is a strong desire
that I think we all share as human beings to be vulnerable with each other. I think we want that.
I think we want to be vulnerable.
We want to connect.
And when you're outside in the dark,
sitting on your car, looking at the stars
and having real conversations
about the nature of existence in the universe
with your close friends that you know you can trust,
that's an easier thing to do.
But our world has changed such that
doing that is harder to do. It's just harder. And I
think as we get older, finding the time to do those things is more and more difficult to do.
And so now we have this other space and this other space, man, this other space is not the
car in the field, man. It's just not. And these people are not your closest friends.
What's curious though, is that, though, that's very true.
But also the opposite is true, where you will say stuff to an anonymous stranger, like a therapist or like even just a chat room or something that you would never reveal to your close friends.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes there are things and issues that you almost feel you can't. I mean, I hear these stories all the time from, you know, non-religious people that are in a religious environment.
We're like, I can't turn to my brother or sister or friend and say, I'm not buying this.
This is crazy.
Or I have these kinds of feelings for this issue or this topic or whatever it may be. So again, I wonder if there's some way to channel like the best of
all possible worlds of here's an audience that's going to not judge you. You can say whatever you
want. You can be totally honest in your own presence and they will do the same and they
will feel the same comfort with you. But it's hard, man, because like you said, you say something
that's revealing and it gets put back in your face by someone who doesn't have the best of intentions.
That is just a thousand deaths, man.
That's a thousand deaths.
So, yeah.
Yeah, the whole thing is confusing now because we're talking to comments in a lot of cases.
We're not talking to people that we look over at and we see their humanity and we see the skin of them.
And to your point, that gives us a distance which might make some people feel much more comfortable being open about things that they otherwise might feel guarded about.
But at the end, the confusing element is I don't actually know you. You're a
series of comments strung together that I piece together in my mind and form a Voltron-esque you
from a series of comments that I read. And it's, I don't, I have no idea how to humanize. I know
the article Cecil is like, we got to humanize each other. One of the
suggestions in the humanizing is like, make people's profile pictures bigger. Get rid of
anonymity. Like, so people have a name and a photo. I do think there's an element of like,
man, I mean, road rage is a great, you know, old school example. Like when I see somebody in a car,
I see their car. You see the car. And I'm mad at their car.
Yeah.
You know,
but if I see like some dad driving his kids,
I'm less likely to be mad at some dad driving his kids.
Cause I'm a dad driving my kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always in a,
in a,
in a traffic situation,
I always,
it's hard sometimes,
man,
but I always try to think like,
okay,
that guy that just cut me
off, he just got a call that his wife is in the hospital. And if I had just gotten that call,
I'd probably be behaving the very same way. So you try to give the best benefit that you possibly
can. It's hard sometimes. It's really but the on that the anonymity also just provides you the opportunity to be nasty too sure it's sort of
the opposite thing of it i mean i i know a guy this this this sweet musician that i that i you
know he's a friend of my of my dad's my dad's a musician as well and so like my first gigs with
my dad and his his compatriots sweet accordion playing playing guy. And he is the nastiest, nastiest MAGA
guy on Facebook and his comments. And I can't put those two together of like this lovely guy
that I would play gigs with who'd like was just so kind and helpful and lovely, just saying that, you know, every Democrat is a demonic Satan monster
who should be destroyed. You're like, how do you put those two together? You know, how do you,
it's allowing him to say those things and feel like this is a, this is a forum in which he is
justified to say that it's, oh, it's just awful. I don't know how anybody that owns an accordion
can act that tough.
We're talking about, you know,
the distance that online brings,
you know, there's the distance.
But I also want to point out too, George,
like we wouldn't know each other
if it wasn't for online.
You know, like we wouldn't know each other.
And I think, you know, we have a can,
we have, I think, great conversations.
We've met in person.
We're friendly.
You know, like, I don't know that,
we're not best friends,
but we definitely know each other.
We're acquaintances, you know,
we're podcast acquaintances.
And I wouldn't know you if they didn't have this show.
And I wouldn't know a lot of people
if they didn't have this show.
Hundreds of people.
You know, I have friends in Australia and Europe.
And, you know, people that I australia and europe and you know people that
i've developed like real significant kind of friendships with that are they're very very
focused you know it's not we're not hanging out having dinner all the time but when we do hang
out or we do communicate it is that 2 a.m you know car talk you know which is so lovely and
yeah there's there's no way that we should know each other there's no way that i should know faco from finland who like ended up doing string arrangements for me there's no way
that i should know maynard from australia who is this radio personality you know we know maynard
maynard's amazing there's just there's no reason i should know him or be able to you know picture
what his place looks like or that we can have we can share a william shatner joke there's just no
reason for it yeah right but we do and that's the beauty of all this. And yet,
if you want that to exist, if you want that opportunity, there's got to be a price.
And the price is that the accordion guy could be a total douchebag on Facebook.
That's it. Everything has a price, man. Everything has a price. I think it's worth it.
I do think it's worth it.
I think that's why I get so mad at it
is because I want it to be so much better.
I want it to work.
I do because it's changed my life.
Like this show is certainly a digital medium
and in ways too innumerable to count.
It has absolutely changed.
Every minute of my life is different
because I have this show.
I hear you.
And I want it to be good.
Yeah.
And I want to like get online and I want to be like,
hey, you know, I think you might've missed something.
It's important.
Have you thought about it?
And instead it's like, fuck you.
No, fuck you.
And it's just like, it's this horrible.
Yeah.
Well, maybe someday guys.
Keep working on it.
Yeah.
One day.
One day.
George, thank you so much for joining us for our 600th. We very much appreciate you coming on and taking the time.
You're so welcome.
Congratulations, guys.
It's, you know, to do anything with any,
it's so difficult to do anything with any kind of consistency,
especially in the last two years.
I don't know.
If you're dealing with like where you're just your brain,
I just can't process ideas anymore.
And I just want to, I want to just bathe in chocolate basically.
But even that is like too much effort.
So you guys have made it through the pandemic so far with a consistent quality and it is
a quality show.
I know we're kidding around and stuff, but you, and that you guys have grown and changed
and your audience has grown and changed with you and you challenge them and they challenge you that you can't ask for more than that in any
kind of artistic endeavor. So congratulations. Keep doing it. Absolutely. Thank you, man.
Thank you. Thank you so much, George. Thank you. You're welcome.
600 episodes.
Glory hold you motherfuckers.
So we are
joined by, who gets top billing?
Is it Jordan or Dan?
Who's the top billing guy?
Are you alphabetical?
Who the fuck do you think gets top billing?
Oh boy.
So it's Dan and Jordan.
Dan and Jordan are joining us from Knowledge Fight.
Thank you. It is Dan and Jordan.
I'm cowering in the corner.
I'm so scared.
So much for joining us on our 600th episode.
We've been going back in our archives
thinking about the people we've had the most fun talking to.
Your name came up,
and we're so happy you guys could join us.
Thank you so much.
What a treat.
Yes, thank you so much.
Congratulations, guys.
600. Congratulations. Thank you so much. What a treat. Yes, thank you so much. Congratulations, guys. 600. Congratulations.
Thank you. It's quite an accomplishment.
We like you guys
so much, we immediately try to break you up
with the billing argument.
I was kind of hoping
we'd have like an angry fight on the show.
I was just thinking
literally minutes ago
before air,
the first thing you said about me was that I begin yelling in seconds.
And you do.
And in fact, I did.
Yes.
I found a way to push your button seconds into the interview.
The man is made entirely out of buttons.
You're entirely made out of buttons.
He is like, Grimes Mike Gears was a person.
That is literally what Jordan is.
He's actually like Alex Jones in that respect.
Yes, that's true.
Speaking of Alex Jones, guys.
Yeah, as we do sometimes.
You guys do.
I know you guys have branched out to like Jim Backer.
Oh, yeah.
You also do Alex Jones.
And Alex Jones just had some big news come down.
He lost a court case,
and he lost it without them even hearing it
because he was being such a fuckhead
and not turning shit over to the other side
that they just made a default judgment against him
in three different cases.
And these are about the Sandy Hook bullshit
that he was spreading these poor families that had lost people and lost children in the Sandy Hook massacre.
He had said it was basically false.
And then he like sicked his goons on these people.
And he's been really horrible, basically calling them a false flag, families and things.
And so they sued him.
And the judge has not been taking
his shit since the beginning.
No, not at all.
There have been some hiccups
on the road.
In a certain,
you know, like larger sense,
you could argue that the judge
has taken so much shit,
an unbelievable amount of shit
to the point where the lawyers
involved in the case
are all laughing about how
no case has ever been filled with
this much bullshit before.
Wait a minute. Is that real? Yeah.
He had every opportunity
to comply with the process.
The judges in this case,
they bent over backwards to try
and accommodate his
sort of obfuscating behavior.
It reached a point where it's like,
well, we've tried a bunch of things to get you to comply.
We've escalated sanctions and fines,
and you don't care.
Nothing we do is going to work.
Right, right, right, right.
You're too much of an asshole for laws.
Yeah.
I won't be sued.
I won't be silenced.
See?
See, you're too much of a dick.
Laws don't even apply.
Now it's just people telling you to go away.
Do you guys know,
I'm sure you guys have been following this pretty deeply.
Do you know kind of the stuff that he's been pulling?
I mean, it depends on like both of the cases.
The three cases that he lost
are the ones that are in the Texas courts.
And then there's still the one in Connecticut that is active.
And I mean, I think if you really look at it, the big things are just withholding documents that were requested for discovery, not complying with discovery requests.
And then the other big one is not producing people who are requested to come in for depositions.
one is not producing people who are uh requested to come in for depositions and then um when people do come for depositions oftentimes they're unprepared they don't have the information
they were supposed to bring the big example of that was uh rob do alex's employee was assigned
to be their corporate representative and he showed up not knowing what that meant. And... Yeah. Yeah.
When Dan says unprepared,
that is just an understatement
that cannot be expressed.
They ask him in the deposition
if he understands what he's supposed to be
as the corporate representative.
And he seems scared.
No, he's comically
hilariously, ridiculously
unprepared.
I mean, it's bananas
to the point where you think he's in a different
room. Like he's in a
completely different universe that we're seeing
and they're like connected somehow.
Or it's a prank show.
Yeah, or it's a prank show.
That's insane.
I will say, I was deposed once.
And you spend time with your attorney prepping for that deposit.
You spend time so you don't say something stupid.
Your attorney should do that work with you.
How do you show up?
You did that.
No, no, no, no no that's that's one strategy
yes what just now one now and i'm also tom there's also time to keep them guessing strategy
that's another one i mean there is there is a certain level of like there's only the two
extremes you can come in prepared and do a good job or you can come in unprepared
and still not say anything
that you shouldn't say.
Mainly because you don't know anything.
So the guy who is the company
representative,
was he hired just like outside of Wendy's?
No, he's from the beginning.
He's really...
Wait a minute. He's an old school guy world. He's really, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
So he's an old school guy.
That's even worse somehow.
Yeah.
Because like a deposition,
they should ask you questions.
You have direct knowledge of like,
it should actually have all that knowledge.
It's his job.
Yeah.
Wow.
His title is the news director.
Uh,
and like he used to run the nightly news back when they used to do that like he was he's been there
since at least like 2010
yeah I mean
more than that
his title might as well have been
corporate representative and when asked
about what his title was he was like I have no
idea what that means
his title is corporate representative
should we need one
please break glass in case of fire yes and one of the i was one of the hilarious things that
we learned also was that uh rob do came unprepared for this deposition as the corporate representative
and then they called for a corporate representative again months later and they sent rob do again
unprepared oh that's amazing!
This is the kind of hijinks
and bullshit he's been pulling in.
There's just nothing you can do with it
if you're the court.
That's amazing.
I did read that default judgments
in cases like this are incredibly rare.
They just don't happen.
It's one of the arguments that they've been
making is because the lawyers have described this as a teaching situation.
They only talk about default judgments in class because it's so rare.
It's like a unicorn.
Yeah, it's like a hypothetical.
And so whenever the lawyer said that, Alex and those ilk jumped on it.
They were like, see, you can't even do this.
It's not even okay. It's never
happened before. And it's like, no, that's
how much of an asshole you are.
So has
he been ranting about it on his show since?
Yeah, I think it's mostly
I need money.
There's been a good bit of, hey,
we need money.
We need it now and it has nothing
to do with that
court thing. It's about expanding
the operation. That's what it's about.
Also, please deposit this
into my offshore account.
Don't send it
to Rob Dew. He doesn't know what the
fuck money is. It turns out
that's weird. the other thing that
he's been going on about is uh that he his seventh amendment rights have been violated and that's
just nonsense what's that's not applying i don't know what the seventh amendment is
yeah for civil cases civil cases in federal courts it doesn't apply to state courts. So he's...
So that's not a thing.
But he doesn't understand that.
No, it's not.
Let's put it this way.
For much of the far right,
and the right, and most people,
if you don't know exactly what the amendments are,
that should not get in the way
of claiming that they have been violated.
Yeah.
Listen, I have a HIPAA right not to know my amendments.
Exactly.
You can't ask me about that.
You're talking to me right now as a violation of my Ninth Amendment rights.
Okay?
My 32nd Amendment right tells me.
So is this going to spell the end?
What do you think? I'm going to ask you to look into the future.
Because I was thinking about you guys when I read these.
I was like, holy shit, like Alex Jones is going
to go bankrupt. It's like this motherfucker
is going to go bankrupt. It's my policy.
We're going to be able to buy the InfoWars desk.
Oh, got it.
Guys, let's pool our money
and let's buy the info desk.
You guys get it on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
We get it on Tuesday, Thursday.
It'll be like a fucking kid in a marriage.
We'll share it.
I'm not opposed to this.
I do, if it does go down, I do want a piece of that studio for sure.
I do too.
If there's a fucking Alex Jones InfoWars fire sale, I'm not fucking kidding.
Guys, we are renting a van.
We are renting a fucking van
road trip i will if there's a fucking auction i'm showing up with my hand in the air and i'm not
putting it down that's it i can tell you that see this is the one time out of four of us this is the
one time that i can guarantee we will find out if soros is a backer of ours or not because
if this if that set goes on auction and soros is a backer of ours or not, because if this, if that set goes on auction and Soros is a backer of ours,
we will be recording in that set.
The next day,
it's going to turn into that episode where Kramer gets the
fantastic.
Wouldn't it be funny
if you got behind the mic
and it just turned everything
into a crowd?
All your voice.
Yeah, it's just his vocal effects.
He actually has like
a really high voice.
Smoke effects on the mic.
He's talking through
a wah pedal or something
the whole time.
We show up and like
Sarah gets behind it.
It's like,
She sounds like the cannibal corpse singer.
I talk into the microphone.
All of a sudden I'm really concerned about white people.
Yeah.
And I'm Peter Frampton
to answer your question.
To go back to it.
Uh,
I I've,
I've,
especially in the last,
you know,
couple of years,
I've really tried to resist the siren song of assuming
that this is going to be Alex's
final journey.
The motherfucker is a cockroach
who won't die.
He won't die. He dukes of hazards
himself out of so many situations that
are just like, well, that's got to be the end.
He reminds me of Trump in that
way. It's just like he just
denies reality.
Like someone will do something.
He just, he's such a piece of gum in their hair.
They just don't do anything.
They're just like, what do we do?
I don't even know what to do anymore.
Yeah.
And he has enough of a fan base and a following that enable him that like, he can do that.
He can get away with just denying reality.
People will allow it.
That's the worst.
Do you go on the message boards or what have you for Alex Jones to see what his people are saying?
Whatever you're going to follow that with is no.
Do you go on the message boards for anything, period, about anything ever?
No.
Yeah.
And that's the thing is I was hoping you would because I don't either.
But I am curious what the fuck people that love alex jones are
saying about this like i'm just really curious there's a small curiosity that i have but i also
think it is the definition of not a productive thing for me to know yeah you know like yeah i
don't know what the next step is after i find out what anonymous people online think.
Now we've got him.
I've gone to his website and there's comment sections
of videos and I've seen
enough racial slurs.
Edward, Edward, Edward.
What are Alex Jones' fans saying on the message
boards? N-words. That's what they're saying.
They're very concerned about
white people.
Yes.
They're denying the Holocaust.
What else would you like to see on a message board?
You literally
couldn't be more right. I don't even know
why I asked that question in retrospect.
It's not like there was going to be any
heartfelt introspection.
It turns out that in retrospect
there's a further analysis
of this case.
It's funny because right now,
and we've talked about this on our show a dozen times,
but on Reddit right now,
there's a message board portion of Reddit that's called the Herman Cain Award.
And in that, I don't know if you guys are familiar with it,
but in that message board-
Yeah, it's like the Darwin Awards,
but for people who die of COVID.
Yeah, essentially.
But then they capture their Facebook posts
leading up to the death of that person, right?
So they'll capture the Facebook posts.
You could basically flip through
and see what their horrible racist attitudes were beforehand,
working their way up,
all the conspiracy things they posted.
And then there's always a picture of them
in like a mask or, you know,
they're talking about their GoFundMe
or they're talking about the ventilator.
I need my prayer warriors.
Or they're talking about, you know, wanting to get i their GoFundMe or they're talking about the ventilator. I need my prayer warriors. Or they're talking about, you know,
wanting to get ivermectin into the hospital
or whatever it is.
But it's very rare.
Like I've seen many of these posts.
It's very rare you see anyone
have any kind of change of heart.
And so it would be amazing to me
if someone out there watching Alex Jones
saw that, you know,
oh shit, Alex has been lying to me this whole time
because the judge essentially just threw this out.
Instead, I think that would drive them
deeper down the rabbit hole and be like,
see the systems out to get Alex Jones.
It is my Sixth
Amendment right to never
learn anything.
No, no, no, no. That has to do with criminal cases.
I will die on the hill
of refusing to learn a lesson.
You need to learn a lesson about the amendments.
I think that when it
comes to that, it's very
rare because in order to reach
the step where you're like, wait, maybe Alex
has been fucking around this whole time.
It's really humbling
because you have to recognize at the
same time that you fell for a bunch of things.
And I don't think that that
is a slight on anybody or like a,
like an indication that they're bad or dumb or anything.
But I think that it's easy to internalize those feelings.
If you're in that situation.
And I think that that's one of the parts that makes people really resistant
to it.
And you're right.
I think it does cause them to dig deeper.
Well,
nobody wants to admit they've been conned,
you know,
nobody wants to be the person. Nobody wants to be the mark you know and everybody wants
to think that they're smart enough to see through it if they were going to be conned and the it's
humbling to say nope i was conned yeah and that's and that that actually plays out in how cons are
reported even to the police right most people are too embarrassed to actually do it. Totally.
It's rare that, you know, like the police will,
you know, there's so many times that when you find these scambaiters online,
you'll find out that, you know,
there's people who have been scammed
that wouldn't go to the police.
Right.
And they're worried that they lost all their money
and they won't go to the police because of it.
It's just like, they're just embarrassed by it.
I don't want to be the dum-dum.
Right?
Right.
Publicly, at least. Yeah. Sure. In a lot of ways, this is the best possible outcome. I was just embarrassed by it. I don't want to be the dum-dum. Right? Not publicly, at least.
Sure.
In a lot of ways, this is the best possible outcome.
I was just thinking about this.
For Alex Jones, this is the best possible outcome.
Because he didn't have to,
he didn't get deposed in a way that made him
look anybody in the eye and say,
in a videotape or anything else,
I was fucking with you.
I was lying.
Like, there's none of that.
So, and there's not like there's none of that. So,
and there's not like
he didn't even go to trial.
It didn't go to trial.
Instead,
it's this
default judgment,
which now he can play
for conspiracy.
So you're saying
it's the best for him.
Yeah.
It's the best possible outcome
for Alex Jones.
I actually don't think
that there was,
because there was never a world
where he was going to be vindicated.
Until he gets a $250 million judgment.
Then it will not be the best possible outcome for him.
That's the issue.
I think that's why I have a tough time knowing exactly how it's going to play out.
Because on the surface, I kind of agree with you.
Like, it does seem like, well, if the goal is to not show your ass publicly, basically,
and make sure that nothing happens that affects the grift, then that is a success.
Whatever consequences are going to come
are going to be almost entirely
financial. But
in the next phase of the trial
that they're in, they're going to be determining
the damages.
And I mean,
that could be huge. It could end
up being a gigantic
settlement on his part.
So it might still be a loss.
I'm renting the van, guys.
I'm renting the van for our road trip.
Let's do it.
I'm on fucking Hertz right now.
We got this shit, guys.
I'm in.
Well, I mean, the situation for Alex, though,
I want to see if he's going to sell Robb-Doo.
I'll buy his beats.
I'll buy Robb-Doo's beats. No, that's Buck buy his beats i'll buy rob no that's my bad my bad
no because in a way you're right and in a way this was how the trial was always going to go
because from day one the it was already settled you know like the lawyer is going to depose him
and he's going to say we know you're lying here's a clip of you saying what it is that we're claiming you said.
And he's going to say, no, I wasn't lying.
That's out of context.
Exactly.
So right there, the only question is, at what point is Alex going to blink or when is the government going to stop or step in?
Yeah, that's it.
You know, because he's not going to say he's lying and everybody knows he's lying.
Yeah, right. Right.
So barring a win for Alex Jones,
which was never going to happen,
the default judgment is like...
It was inevitable.
To your point.
Yeah.
Well, he preserves his integrity.
Hey, at least I didn't have to say I lied to a judge.
Yeah.
You didn't have to make an apology video
like he did for James Alefantis.
You have to do a Chobani thing.
Turns out I like yogurt. I really
like some yogurt. Probiotics are good for you.
Love yogurt. They're the best kind
of biotic, actually.
They're not like amateur biotics.
Honestly, there's
a part of me that's waiting for him to have
some like last card up his pocket where somehow it turns out that his dad was on the hook for every business thing related to InfoWars.
And his dad loses everything and Alex is fine.
Like it's got that kind of vibe to it.
Turns out I transferred all ownership and assets to Rob Doe.
You guys get Rob Doe. Are you guys going to give Rob a call?
Rob just shows up.
His pockets are turned out.
He's looking around. He has no idea what he's
doing. He's wearing a barrel.
He's like a high John Travolta
in fucking Pulp Fiction. He's just looking around
with his boat. He has no idea where to go.
There's an enormous Uncle Sam
turning him over by the ankle and
shaking him for coins.
If you give me one hamburger today.
Oh God.
If there is a way for them to like leave
Rob do holding the bag, it would
just be
so perfect. It's just that.
And that would allow for that,
like kind of American fantasy that you have about like the con man getting
away with it in the end.
Oh no.
Alex is standing outside the Bellagio fountain.
He's just like,
he's doing off into the middle distance.
He's doing the,
his limp suddenly gets fine.
He takes off the bird bite. His limp suddenly gets fine. His neck shrinks.
He takes off the big suit.
He's a tiny little man just walking away into the sunset.
The robbed dude is fucked.
The robbed dude is screwed.
Judge lifts up a cup and it says,
made by Alex Jones on the bottom.
Perfect.
Perfect.
That's exactly right.
I think we wrote the end of this movie, guys.
Dust your hands.
We did it. We did it, guys.
This is a great
writer's room. I do like this.
I do like this.
Reality should take a page out of our
book.
All right. What are you guys going to
do after Alex Jones loses all his money?
What's your plan? What's your escape plan? I don't think that it's going to do after Alex Jones? This is all funny. What's your plan?
What's your knowledge fight?
I don't think that it's going to be as immediate as it might feel at times, but I've said this a hundred times.
I don't care if he goes away.
Like I'm not invested in his existence for my livelihood.
I don't care.
Yeah.
And I have an archive of like a decade of his episodes that we can talk about.
We were actually talking about this,
uh,
on the,
when the news came out and everybody,
uh,
not everybody,
but a significant number of people were like,
Oh,
if,
if even if knowledge fight goes down,
I'm sorry to see knowledge if I go,
but I want to see Alex go and all of this stuff.
And I was just thinking like,
man,
I cannot wait to be free of alex's bullshit anti-covid vaccine nonsense in the present so we can go back and
look at fun shit like whenever the iraq war started you know good stuff so much to look at
yeah good memories of the iraq war you're right absolutely there's an added like intensity or
or sense of of dragging on you yeah when it's like this is happening in the present these are
lies that are affecting people who i might run into yeah you know and and that in the present
day can be a real grind it wears on you in a way that looking at his lies in the past, there's a little bit of an
academic distance to it.
I cannot wait until
we live in a world where it's only
stuff with that distance.
Yeah. And I mean,
the idea that
our show is less interesting without
Alex in the present is kind of insane
to me, considering if
the angle that many people are taking
is that Alex's type of media
infecting the larger
media at hand has
led us to where we are
there's no end to the amount of
study that needs to be taken
for how we got to there
and we just did an
episode from 2003
and instead of talking about the Iraq war,
Alex interviewed a guy who had gone to heaven.
Exactly.
We got it all, baby.
This is magic.
It's literal magic.
It's so much more fun.
There's so much more fun.
And Jim Baker's still alive, still kicking it.
So you got plenty of other,
and there's plenty of other grippers out there.
No, he didn't.
It's not like he's Pat Robertson retired.
Oh, Pat Robertson retired.
Jim Baker had a stroke and was gone for a little while.
That's right.
You guys have plenty of grifters out there.
You can just jump from grifter to grifter.
What if we run out of grifters?
We're never going to run out of grifters.
I will end this show tomorrow if we run out of grifters.
I will become a grifter.
I will make that dream.
I will become a grifter
I promise you Tom
the problem is we can't do a show about
any old grifter
it requires a real special
sort of dick
someone who can make
the entire legal system shit its bricks
someone who's crazy in an impressive way
and prolific can't argue with that Someone who's crazy in an impressive way. Yes.
And prolific.
Yeah, right.
Can't argue with that.
Guys,
if people were going to find
Knowledge Fight,
where would they look?
Probably best place
is knowledgefight.com.
Sure.
That's their website.
That seems like a good place.
Guys,
thank you so much
for joining us
on our 600th episode.
We really do appreciate it.
Thank you and congratulations!
Vuvuzela, Vuv and congratulations! And now we'll play our favorite
InfoWars song.
We promise to have you guys on
sooner rather than later. We miss you guys.
We should have you guys on again.
We have a lot of fun every time you're on.
We look forward to it, guys.
Hey guys, this is the Left of the Valley 2.0
crew. My name is Kevin. My name is Sabrina. the Valley 2.0 crew. My name is Kevin.
My name is Sabrina. My name is Brantley.
My name is Benjamin. And we want
to congratulate Cognitive Dissidents
I think that's the name of the show, right?
I'm not sure. I think so.
You had like six episodes. It's really unpopular.
Congratulations, man. You guys are like at least a flashing
the pan at best right now. Right.
I think we're congratulating them on their 600th
episode, and I think they needed to wait until 66 more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Definitely.
600?
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
And Tom requested I send him some Canadian whiskey because he really enjoys that.
It's on its way.
He doesn't.
Congratulations, guys.
Congrats.
Congrats.
Congrats.
So we are joined by Thomas Smith of Opening Arguments of Philosophers in Space.
Anything else?
Am I missing something?
Oh, serious inquiries.
Atheists.
What you're missing is a little enthusiasm.
Atheists.
600.
What a thing.
I know you have to do this for all your interviews,
but 600 episodes.
We had to do it.
We wanted to invite everybody that we really enjoyed on as guests.
They weren't available, so.
And we wanted to invite everybody that we really enjoyed on as guests they weren't available so and we we wanted to reach out
to you
as a
designated
podcaster
you forgot about me
and this is actually
like the 603rd episode
I'm just like
pretending
do we not call Thomas
Jesus
I feel terrible about it
every time we talk to you
I feel like we're talking
to our first love
I know
you're like our first
like reach out
I know
he was
I feel the same.
I always love coming on the show.
I'm so happy to be invited for 600.
And yeah, I'll never forget.
I'll say it every time.
It bears repeating.
I'll never forget that you guys really did.
There wouldn't be any of my other podcasts
if it weren't for you guys, I don't think.
Because you reached out during Thomas and the Bible
when I had all of 17 listeners
and you turned that
you cranked that 17 listeners
up to like 38 listeners
and that
that's right
if I were to go find
if I were to go find the numbers
it would be embarrassing how little
but I think you took me from like 25 listeners, not joking.
And you know, like seven of those are bots or some shit.
And the other 20 are your family.
Oh, God, no.
I would make that joke, except there's no chance I'd ever have my family listen to anything.
So at least I know I earned this 13 and a half people who accidentally listened to my show
and then
after going on your show
I think it
I want to say
it spiked up to like
72 listeners
amazing
god damn
that's a fucking slam
that was more than
we were getting back
but what's funny
you guys had way more listeners
than that
it's just the number of people
were like
oh I guess I'll go check out
some asshole reading the bible
so imagine how many listeners you must have already had if that many people were like,
yeah, sure, I'll give that a listen. Thomas, we wanted to have you on to talk
about this story. And now this story will be a couple of weeks old when this episode drops.
But this story is from CNN, Senate Judiciary Committee issues sweeping report detailing
how Trump and top DOJ lawyer attempted
to overturn the 2020 election. And it's so much worse than we thought. Oh God. Yeah.
Meta commentary here. Back in the day, I'd come on old Cogdiss and I'd get some story about how
Christian pastor says his penis ejaculates holy water, Tricks congregation into drinking it or something. You know, like I get something
zany.
Something wacky.
And now you're like,
here's this detailed
description of the
Game of Thrones-esque
intrigue inside the
attempt to overthrow
our government.
I know, man.
And it's just like
Game of Thrones.
There's 18 different
white,
not bearded men,
I guess,
but white men
involved in this plot.
I can't even fucking
keep them straight. I try to make flashcards. Okay. We got Jeffrey Clark. We got
fucking Pat Cipollone. We got, you know, and we've covered, the funny thing is we covered,
I don't even, we might've covered another kind of sedition on OA. I actually can't remember if
it's the same one or not because somebody else had a plan that involved a lot of these same components.
Yeah, there was that lawyer who had that six-step plan, right?
And I thought, when I saw this story, I was like,
isn't this like two weeks old?
And it's like, no, no, no.
It's a different guy.
This is a different guy.
This is a different horror in parallel.
Different flavor of sedition.
Different expansion pack of insurrection.
Yeah, this is, I love this story.
He asked Mark Meadows to overturn the election nine times.
Nine times.
That's like a fucking, that's like when your kid's like, can I go outside?
No, can I go outside?
No.
Can I go outside?
No.
Can I go outside?
Fucking the answer was no three times that's a grown-up the ninth time like seriously
what do you even respond the ninth time like all right the first eight even i'll give you the ninth
time come on you know it should be i mean even if you're trump or whoever you're talking about like
ask twice i'll give you two asks nine times god motherfucker i will
tell you when we are there yet that is he's even past the will ferrell's character on austin powers
would they like ask me three times and you know he gets so annoyed he has to answer like
tripled that you guys have had to been going crazy about this stuff all along in OA, but this is one of those things that when it dropped,
I was like, holy shit, they're trying to essentially
take out the acting attorney general,
replace him with, I mean, essentially like a plant,
like somebody who is going to do exactly what they want.
Which, let me just stop you right there.
What's hilarious about that is the old
attorney general was one of the most effective evil assholes in US history. And he absolutely
undercut the Mueller report in a way that took out all the steam and a lot of conservatives and
useful idiots like that fucking guy from the Intercept
who's not from the Intercept anymore.
A lot of people used his little coloring of the report before it came out.
You remember when he's like, I got nothing to see here two weeks early, you know?
And then that just totally diffused the whole thing.
That guy is one of the most effective evil bad guys in the history of our government.
And then this insurrection was so bad.
He was like, I'm not even going to do this.
And then they had to try to find like another replacement of a replacement of a replacement
who'd be willing to do this shit.
It's amazing.
Yeah, there is a moment in time when things have become so surreal.
Like, wait a minute.
Did Bill Barr just draw an integrity line in the sand?
Yeah, right?
Am I watching?
What the fuck?
Like the guy who blackpanned the Mueller report?
Right, yeah.
Bill Barr is like, no, that's a bridge too far.
Who's the comedian who used to do that,
the aristocrats joke?
This is like doing that joke
and then someone says something that's like,
oh God, like that's too far for the
aristocrat yeah right it is it is it's exactly right it's we we are living in surreal times and
we're we're at a moment where you're like wait a minute i thought i read this story i thought
it was already bad you're like no no you don't realize it was bad different and then bill barr was like wait a minute not even me
not even me he that's like when you're a fucking cellmate like like in the middle of fucking
strangling a fucking prison guard or something looks over he's like dude really really we're
breaking the law now yeah oh that you're gonna do that're going to do that? Fuck, what? What are we doing now?
Yeah, I mean,
like this whole ride,
you know, you're right
with Barr.
You know, you figured
if anybody was going
to do it for him,
it was going to be Barr, right?
And then...
I guess at this point
he was already not...
He was already out, huh?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I can't keep track of it.
I thought his last day
was like Christmas Eve
or something, as I recall.
Oh, yeah.
So it seems like some of this stuff was happening behind Eve or something, as I recall. Oh, yeah.
It seems like some of this stuff was happening behind Barr's back, but Barr didn't care or something.
And then that Rosen guy was fighting for him.
It was just fucking craziness.
And the stories that have come out even since the president came had, we had talked about it before and there was a bunch of people that sort of came out and said like, yeah, there was some people in the room that were,
you know, basically, you know, avoiding, uh, the president would say some shit and then they would say, no, you can't bomb a hurricane, Mr. President or whatever he was doing. You know, you can't draw
a bigger bubble where the national weather service said that the hurricane was going to go, whatever
it was. There was a bunch of people in the room who were basically trying to stop him from doing
crazy shit. But man, as stories get leaked, we talked about this
a couple of weeks ago. It really was just a couple people that were holding back just an absolute
destruction of our, of our entire government. Yeah. That was the takeaway from the opening
arguments episode as well. I, I, I couldn't believe it that like after all the breakdown,
the punchline ended up
being, or not really the punchline, but
the takeaway that I grabbed from it was like
we really were, it really
was, for the grace of
fucking Vice President
Pence, that we didn't have
I mean, we don't know for sure
that they could have pulled it off if Pence
had been game. But if Pence
had been totally on board with this plan,
it would have at least
created absolute fucking chaos.
That's what we said.
And like, who knows
what would have happened.
We said there was a...
Tom and I said
there'd be a civil war.
It would be like a civil war
because if they came in
and with proof
from all those states
and no proof backing Trump,
it would have been an absolute,
it would have been crazy.
It would have been insane.
Yeah.
It is,
and I know you're just saying it,
but I am constantly amazed how many times history records
an inflection point
that comes down to one guy
who put his fucking pants on that morning.
You know, one fucking guy
who wakes up
and has a fucking bran muffin and a cup of coffee
and takes a shit and is just like everybody else.
You're like, you know what?
The reason there's still democracy in America
is because of one guy.
It's that dude.
327 million of us, right, rely on this fucking one guy.
We didn't even know we were relying on it.
And it is wild to be like,
he's just, you know,
it was just like 1% too evil
for his already evil, you know?
Right, yeah.
We're like, why didn't he do it?
Why didn't?
Honestly, Pence,
what were you thinking?
Why didn't you just fucking do it?
I don't know.
I don't get it anymore.
It's exactly like Barr, too.
It's exactly like Barr.
Like, he was his lapdog
the entire time
he was in the presidency,
but the only time he really stood up
and did something that was not expected of him
was during that one moment.
Right.
Has Pence given an interview about this?
Oh, man, I don't think so.
I mean, I would never shut my face again.
I think there's nothing in it for Pence to talk about.
He spoke it like a Republican thing, and they booed him as that again. I think there's nothing in it for Pence to talk about.
When he spoke, he spoke it like a Republican thing and they booed him as a traitor.
Yeah, he's ruined.
Yeah, he's ruined.
Oh, absolutely.
I guess that's what I mean.
Like there's nothing in it for him,
but he's kind of got nothing to lose.
Yeah.
You know, that guy's got nothing.
He's got no political career.
He doesn't even have any money.
During the Trump presidency, and I guess still now,
a lot of people who were Republicans
made a bunch of career out of
saying things that the left loves because they were never Trumpers, you know? And a lot of those
people like, and I wouldn't say they became Democrats, but they certainly profited off of
Democrats being so angry at Trump that they're willing to consume this like previously totally
Republican content. But the thing about Pence is is Pence is so dyed in the wool,
absolutely a religious fundamentalist conservative that he's not going to do
that.
Like,
he's not going to be like,
Oh,
I'm going to go give the left the red meat to stay relevant and be on TV and
what,
you know,
or whatever.
So it's just,
he's just a super Christian conservative,
like extremely conservative guy who now has no purpose. I don't think. Like, what can he do?
Attract flies?
Trump-based...
He has to tend
full-time to his fly farm that he
keeps...
He's just a simple fly farmer.
I'm just
a fly farmer from India.
One day there's going to be a documentary where
a crew finds him and he's just fucking covered in flies.
It's like a beard of bees.
He returned to with a simple life.
Thomas, do you think that there's any chance
that any of these people who are involved
in any of this shit get prosecuted?
Oh man.
Because they're putting this thing out
and this is the strongly worded letter from the UN.
I know.
You know, at this point.
But this could be handed off to Merrick Garland.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Because I'm not actually sure.
My read as an expert lawyer that you know I am.
I know.
That's why we have you on.
I don't even know that I see anything
that makes sense to charge. Do you? I mean, I actually, that's why we have you on. I don't even know that I see anything that makes sense to charge.
Do you?
I mean, I actually, unfortunately,
I think we have a First Amendment right
to like plan a coup.
Jesus!
What about those guys in Michigan?
Didn't they get busted for...
Yeah, they didn't actually.
No, you're right.
You're right.
There is a line that can be crossed.
I just honestly, I am not a lawyer,
so I don't know where it is.
And I don't know if,
if any of these conversations actually cross that line.
I do.
Yeah.
I do think once you,
you know,
you got zip ties and guns and all that,
like those people are being charged.
Yeah.
But they're getting like misdemeanors and shit.
People,
those people like real quick,
like most of those people are getting fucking misdemeanors.
They're like running around,
like come out Nancy Pelosi so we can kill you. Misdemeanors. They're like running around like, come out, Nancy Pelosi,
so we can kill you.
Misdemeanor.
Yep.
That's insane.
That's a misdemeanor.
That's like jaywalking, you see?
Yeah.
Same thing.
Same thing.
Literally the same thing.
You turn left on a red turn arrow
or you, you know,
shout threats that you're going to kill
the Speaker of the House.
Same thing.
Same level of crime.
You know what's crazy?
If you broke into the Capitol building,
if just me,
if I just broke into the Capitol building at night
and just stole a laptop as a burglar,
I would get more shit
than if I break into the fucking Capitol building
with 10,000 of my closest friends.
No kidding.
Yep.
Well, the key is,
if you want to steal a laptop,
bring 10,000 people.
That's the key.
It's like they gave them
a group discount on crime.
They had a coupon.
They had this huge punch.
They have an oversized novelty punch card.
Here's the thing.
It's a coupon.
This is not really that much of a joke.
My understanding.
Oh, CC.
That's nice.
Anyway, sorry I interrupted you.
Go ahead.
I like that.
No, that's fantastic.
Absolutely.
I'm glad you said that.
It's not that far off.
Like, I'm making the joke, but it's not even a joke.
Like, they got a group discount for crime because as Andrew, you know, his opinion seems
to be that it's like, he seems to think that it's impractical or would be like too, I don't
know what, to charge all these hundreds of people with more serious crimes.
He seems to have the attitude.
He's the lawyer.
I'm not.
That's like, nah, it's too much or something.
And I don't know why.
It seems to me that if one person commits a felony, they should get charged.
If 100 people commit a felony, they should also get the same.
That seems like justice.
You get the same shit.
But I guess you get a group discount.
You get a coupon, as you put it.
Wow. Because seriously, like, if I rush a cop
and, like, slam, like, a big giant barrier into him
and then push past him and shatter a fucking window
and crawl in and, like, steal something,
I don't think they'd be, like,
misdemeanor protesting without a license
or whatever bullshit these guys are getting.
They're getting, like, these little bullshit rinky-inky-dink like six-month, you know.
How many of them have they caught?
Oh, caught?
Like a hundred.
I haven't tracked that as much.
Yeah.
They've caught a lot.
There's been, look, there's been a lot of justice there.
There's also, the only thing we also get is like disbarment for some of these guys
and like actual
we've covered a lot
of those Kraken
lawsuits I'm sure
you guys have as well
and like that's actually
hitting the fan
so it's nice that
we have to rely on
like the morals
of lawyers
to get us out of it
like
sorry
you did
you did something
that was beyond the pale
for even fucking lawyers
but not
you know
it's weird.
And so here's where I,
I lost all my faith in basically humanity and everything
because during this whole Trump nonsense,
somewhere in this four years
that we all went through this fucking hell,
I, you know, I listened to that podcast
that was about the Watergate stuff,
you know, whatever, the slow burn or whatever.
And what blew my mind then and what really, and I want to say that was 2017, 18, I don't know when that came out,
but what worried me so much was they talked about the fact that I think Ronald Reagan and Bush
Sr. backed Nixon all the way to the end forever and never paid any cost for that. You know,
it wasn't like, who's Ronald Reagan?
Never heard of that guy.
What did he do after Watergate?
Ron, Ronald Reagan?
Well, who does he?
No, he got to be fucking president and a hero forever, even though he backed Nixon through
the whole thing beyond, like further than anybody, further than even the Republicans
in Congress did.
You hear these quotes they read on about it, you know, about quotes that Reagan had
about backing Nixon and Bush Sr.
And it didn't matter.
And right when I heard that in that podcast
a few years ago,
I was just, I lost all faith
that we were ever going to fucking properly account
for what happened during this time.
You know, we're doing our best,
but like fucking A.
The big mistake that Nixon made was backing down.
Oh yeah.
If Nixon never backed down,
he would do nothing would ever happen.
It would have been fine. Yeah. But he fucking blinked. Yeah. He fucking blink been backing down. Oh, yeah. If Nixon never backed down, nothing would ever happen. It would have been fine.
Yeah.
But he fucking blinked.
Yeah.
He fucking blinked.
Yeah.
And if he had backed up,
Which makes him seem,
in retrospect,
like Thomas fucking Jefferson
or something.
I know, right?
By today's standards,
he's like a noble founding father.
He 100% is.
And it's so funny
because you went through this last four years of just,
just debasing the office and just an awful person doing shitty stuff,
a narcissist that could not stop,
just genuinely could not stop paying attention to his own,
whatever was in his vision at the moment.
Right.
He couldn't stop himself.
And,
you know, even all the way up
until he loses the election
and then cannot face the fact that he lost.
Like he is ready to literally turn the country inside out
because he is upset that he lost
and he's got to basically show his face that he lost.
And he's still not, even today, still saying that he won.
When they, the day they literally came back
with the audit numbers that his cyber ninjas went to go find,
he basically said, no, we won in numbers
you wouldn't believe down there.
We won.
And it's like, no, even the cyber ninjas said.
He's right, I wouldn't believe it.
Even the cyber ninjas said, no, sorry, you got less votes.
We found a couple that were like in a file cabinet.
Even the cyber ninjas.
I imagine a guy
in a ninja Halloween costume being like,
look, he's got a piece of paper. We ran
the numbers.
I'm picturing a guy
in a ninja outfit just throwing floppy disks
like shurikens.
It's been such a ride.
They commit hairy carry.
I hope
that he doesn't
run in 2024
oh my god
oh he's running
in 2024
you think so?
it's not even close
I was just going to
ask you guys
what your thoughts
on that were
because I think
not only is he going
to run
I think he's going
to get the nomination
because I don't think
that any of these
spineless pieces of shit
can do what would
be necessary
to beat Trump in a primary, which
look, I, I, I'm not a, I'm not a, you know, expert political strategist, but I'm, I'm pretty sure the
only thing that would beat Trump in a primary is basically going full Trump. Yeah. You have to go
Trump. You'd have to, like Tom said, you can't little him at yeah, exactly right. Cannot blink,
belittle him at every moment, call him a loser over and over.
He lost. He lost the election.
We started off in 2017. This would
be me if I were fucking Marco Rubio.
Yeah, right. Like he's got the balls
to do this.
Hypothetical Republican.
Just be like, we started
2017, January fucking 20th
or whatever, with all three
branches of government.
And what were we left in with?
And what were we left with as Republicans in 2020?
Nothing.
Not a single, like just over and over,
just loser, fucking loser.
He lost.
He lost the election.
And then he's going to cry about it.
And he's going to fucking,
all he's done since he lost is cry about it for four more years.
Cry, baby.
Oh, I didn't really lose it.
You'd have to just go full on mockery. that would be kind of amazing if somebody did that though
to be honest nobody will have the balls to do that you're right nobody nobody that gets up that high
in the republican party would have the ability to do that because the risk of failure it's it's like
come for the king you best not miss as uh the great omar oh man i can't believe that guy
i know anyway that actor so fantastic but anyway it's like he said you know it's like as the great Omar. Oh man, I can't believe that guy died recently. I know. So fantastic.
But anyway,
it's like he said,
you know,
it's like,
if you're going to take a shot that big,
you miss,
you're fucked.
Like,
you're just absolutely fucked.
And I think none of them have the guts
to come up a little,
if they come up a little short,
then their political career
is completely over.
And I will say like,
I don't even,
I'm almost of the opinion too
that that would be genuinely
an unsafe thing to do.
The MAGA crowd is fucking insane.
They are different than any other crowd.
We've never seen...
I remember when Cecil and I were podcasting
when Obama was elected,
and we were watching the Tea Party crowd.
And I remember being shocked
at the disrespect and the racism of that crowd.
Yeah.
Walking around holding like monkey signs and all that horrible shit.
Yeah.
And I remember being like, holy shit, man.
This is like, this is some, that is baby kindergarten power puff shit.
It's nothing in comparison.
Compared to what we've got now.
They were meek.
They ought to show a flashback of us with mustaches being like, well, it's not going to get any worse than
this. It's never going to get any worse than this moment, guys. And bell bottoms. This is the worst
that they'll ever see. Yeah. God. And the thing is, I don't even know that my plan right there
would work, but I think it's the only thing that has a chance to work. And furthermore,
you would need some,
you need the rest of the candidates
to back you up
or some number of them,
you know,
you need like a TV
because it's all a fake
fucking TV thing.
You need that first debate
when there's,
I don't know,
a hundred of them.
Remember that nonsense?
Seven seconds to talk.
When actually the debate field
is in the stands
and the people watching
are in like a couple
podiums. A couple seats on stage.
Marianne Williamson is there with her
crystal balls or whatever.
But you would need the image
to be for the average idiot
fucking Trump voter, you know,
just the visual to be a
circle of Republican candidates
all belittling this loser.
Like that's the, honestly, that might break the spell.
Yeah, that might be the only thing.
I don't know.
Like, honestly, there may be nothing.
Like there may be nothing that would actually work.
I genuinely wish I could know the answer to that.
Like if I had perfect information, I just would love to know what could effectively
just pry Trump away from this base.
And I don't know. I don't think he could win another general. I don't think he could win a base. And I don't know.
I don't think he could win another general.
I don't think he could win a general.
I really don't.
Oh, God.
I really don't.
I don't think he could win another general.
No.
Oh, that's interesting.
I know.
I didn't think he could win the first one.
I just don't know.
Yeah.
You're right.
I know.
You did say he couldn't win the first one either.
But I don't for exactly the reasons because like,
wouldn't the Democrat,
whoever the Democratic candidate would be.
I mean, we saw record turnout mostly against Trump.
Yeah.
You know?
And then like, it hasn't gotten better for Trump.
The image hasn't gotten better.
I think some of that like energy from him being president, naturally, some of that declines.
If he comes back, he'll be full of more like weird hate and vitriol.
I just think he looks like a
washed up fucking loser. And if he were a
Democrat, the easiest thing in the world would be
like, I'm going to debate a guy who's been twice
impeached and lost
and cried.
I would do the same thing you were just describing, Thomas,
as the Democrat and the general.
I'd be like, well, I got to
make sure I don't make you cry, you big
fucking cry baby. In our debate today, you're going to cry about I don't make you cry, you big fucking cry baby.
In our debate today, you're going to cry about it?
How are you going to decide who wins?
You're just going to choose a winner beforehand?
You would rip that guy apart.
God, I hope I'm right.
It's sad that we were deprived of somebody,
of a debate opponent that was a little younger
and sharper than Biden.
It would have been nice to have somebody
who was a little more,
the first
one sucked. In terms of, of, of Trump, like genuine prediction, like on one hand, I think I agree with
everything you guys have said on one hand, you know, he only, I am broken record. He only lost
by a few tens of thousands of votes this election. Like it was that close in the right swing states.
It was even closer than 2017.
On one hand, when I'm more,
weirdly, I'm more worried about the Democrat losing in 2024
if it's not Trump that they're running against.
I actually think that the anti-Trump energy
would be enough
to hopefully eke out a win.
Who knows?
I wouldn't bet big money on it,
but like if I had to make a bet,
if I was forced to,
like an even money bet,
I would say,
well, I think Democrats
should have an edge to beat Trump
because of the anti-Trump energy.
Where I worry is
no Trump on the ballot.
I don't know who the fuck it would be,
but no Trump on the ballot.
I don't know that the fuck it would be, but no Trump on the ballot, I don't know that Democrats have enough
proactive enthusiasm
because of how fucked
we've been by the system.
What happens is we scrape together
50 senators and then we're stuck
with the whims of
two of them. And it's just
such a disadvantage for us because
it allows a bunch of bad actors
on the right and the left to actors on both on, you know,
the right and the left to be like, Oh, these Democrats all the same. They don't get anything
done. They don't do anything. They promise. You're right. Cool. Yeah. Fuck face. You don't
know how it works that you need. Can't you just be smarter than that? I still get the people.
That answer is a hard no. Yeah. It's, it's funny. It's, it's like, okay. I get that some,
like a dumb person would think that like, Oh, they can't get funny. It's like, okay, I get that some, like a dumb person
would think that,
like, oh,
they can't get anything done.
But like,
can't you,
talking to me now,
can't you be smarter than that?
Don't you recognize
that it's two of them
stopping everything?
Yeah.
So vote those two out
or increase the number
of Democrats we have by two.
Right.
Get to 52 senators.
That would fix fucking everything.
That or they don't understand
the filibuster, right?
So they don't understand that that's what's stopping
and stalling literally everything
is the threat of a filibuster
is the thing that stops everything in our government
except for budget shit.
Yeah, and then they just turn everything
into budget reconciliation.
So it's just like,
well, just, you know, got to pay for it.
Budget reconciliation.
It's budgets, all budgets,
budgets all the way down.
Yeah.
Thomas,
we want to thank you
for coming on.
Yeah, man.
Thomas, if people were going
to find your stuff
on the internet,
where would they look?
Oh, thank you so much.
Opening arguments, of course.
And I want to really plug
Serious Inquiries Only.
Recently,
I've taken on
a fantastic co-host,
Lindsay Osterman.
She's a psychologist
and she is so good
at breaking down scientific topics. Recently, we talked, you know, like there'll just be studies in the news
that you know how badly those are reported often. There'll be a study. Wait, they are?
It's so funny. Yeah. Eating that weird fucking snail paste is not improving your boner. I'm
sorry. Whatever, whatever boner related thing. Well, My boner has been improved, so I don't know.
Oh, well, okay. Maybe you cracked it.
I don't know.
But yeah, it's been a real pleasure.
She's just been just dishing
out so much cool science wisdom on that show.
Seriously, Inquiry's the only. So check it out
if you haven't in a while. It's really
fun to be...
It feels... I just am glad
we're doing something that it really feels like it's
beneficial.
It's like we're learning,
you know,
we're putting out the good information on there and it just,
it feels good.
So if you haven't checked that out or if you,
you know,
if you didn't,
you left it like check out serious inquiries only.
I love that show.
It's a great show.
I listen a lot.
I appreciate it.
And gosh,
congrats on 600 guys.
Thank you so much for coming back on our show.
Anytime, you're welcome.
We love to have you on.
Thanks for joining us for 600.
Back at you.
See, it's on a scale from one to shaman.
How much do you love America?
Dr. Cal, an obligation to you.
Power, brain, dead, and sailor.
Late night info documentation.
Death in towers, terror cries.
Psychic healing, crystal balls. I'm loving it, Tom.
So we are joined by the scathing atheist guys the citation needed guys the gam guys the skeptocrat
guys the dnd minus guys the people who were i have been our our companions on this journey for
a long time tom they feel like our brothers feel like i feel like we need to like all cut hands
and like shake except for eli eli has to stand away from all that.
I'm in the sniper's nest
getting killed by the German guy.
But thank you
guys so much for joining us on our 600th
episode. We wanted to bring back all our
favorite guests, and you guys are certainly
some of our favorite guests. I don't think Eli would
be in the sniper's nest. Sorry, I got to
I don't think that, you wouldn't get assigned
to that. I don't think I was
one of your favorite guests.
I'm going to say it.
I think it would have just been weird
to invite no one.
I have to try to picture Eli
as a sniper
and it'd be too fucking persnickety.
The snacks alone
would fill the nest.
I'm trying to picture him
climbing the ladder.
That's what I was going to say.
It's the stairs.
How do you get up there?
Okay, that's fun.
The whole nest is full of mango nectar.
It's not even a gun up here
and he fell off the ladder
he fell again
so we've managed to spot the enemy sniper
he's had diarrhea six times
in the last 40 minutes
god
that's amazing
so we wanted to bring you guys on
not only is that our
600th episode but it is also Pat Robertson's last show.
How momentous does this confluence of events feel?
600-year-old guy retires on your 600th episode.
It's so fucking weird.
Well, he only started it
because he was a listener to Everyone's a Critic
and he was like, all right, well.
Now he's part of the 600 Club, too.
Nice.
You retired after 55
years. 55
years hosting the same fucking show.
That's like The Simpsons
at this point.
Can you imagine if we're still
doing this shit, whatever,
46 years, 47 years from now?
Oh, God, no.
I hope I can leg press a car when I'm that old.
Well, so that's the thing, though, is like, so we always, our show's always,
The Skinny Atheist, anyway, is always 60 minutes long.
When Pat Robertson retired, I thought, we're going to have to go to 56 minutes, guys.
When Pat Robertson retired, I thought,
we're going to have to go to 56 Minutes, guys.
Put that Patreon goal back up for a 30-minute show once a month,
whatever it is that you did.
The third week of the show was up.
This guy is 55 years.
He strikes me as a guy who was worried about peaking too early and just realized he was never going to peak at all
and decided to call it.
And 55 years is kind of waiting to hit that top.
The way they describe it too,
they say like,
you know,
it's because he's decided that this is time.
And I'm thinking,
he's 91,
like a random,
you just thought it was
a random time
or did half his face
stop working?
What is happening with him?
And if he was waiting to peak,
he's just like a terrible trader.
He can't,
you know,
cut his losses
on a bad trade.
He went short on whatever,
on himself.
I just like the idea
that this week was the
week that he was like, yeah, you know, I don't
think old Patty's got it
anymore. This dude's
been mumbling the word homosexual
into his lapel mic for
25, for six
presidents, and now he's like, no, it's time
to turn over the reins.
He had a stroke in 2018, and he was like, no, I'm time to turn over the reins. He had a stroke in 2018
and he was like, no, I'm still hitting my peak soon.
This is going to go great.
I'm pushing through. Upward trajectory.
I'll stop when I'm no longer on an
upward trajectory. I stop when I
bench press a car, goddammit.
You can say that too, Pat. You can say whatever.
Yeah, like you're going to make it up.
Just make up something worth making up.
For sure.
He couldn't bench press
a matchbox car.
There's no chance.
What did he say?
2,000 pounds?
2,000 pounds?
He was 73 years old
and he said he could
leg press 2,000 pounds.
Yeah, he can't do it anymore.
Yeah.
No, no.
Noah, don't be silly.
Well, it's because
they don't make that
matcha energy
what if i told you there was a fruit so exotic you can only buy it on christian don't say
mangosteen mangosteen so what if what if he retired because he just run out of shit right
like he had he had said something stupid about all the things. He had an alphabetical list he
was going through. He shakily
crosses off the last one.
Right, right. He's like, alright
psychos, I'm done, you know?
Things I've called the
devil, zebra.
Exactly. I gotta say
though, like one of the things that
Pat had was like this
sort of old man air about him where
even he could talk bad about trump once in a while i don't know if you guys remember this but there's
been there was a couple of times right that even he said you got to let this election nonsense go
and you know you didn't lose the election wasn't stolen from you i mean that's flying in the face
of evangelical america i mean that is really genuinely flying in their face.
And Pat Robertson felt like the only, you know, if you could call it the elder statesman that could say something like that.
Yeah, he's really the liberal wing of the Christian right at this point.
But what a terrifying barometer he is, right?
Because the crazy motherfucker that once called scotland a
dark land overrun by the gays because it has so many methodists in it that's a real thing
that guy has been the same the entire fucking time and the american right the evangelical
right has just moved so far to his right that he has to yank them from the left now and again
also he's the guy to do it right.
Remember, he took this job because fucking, what's his name,
caught Jim Baker, raped somebody and stole $2 million.
And he showed up on air on Monday and was just like,
hi, everybody, I'll be the anchor for the next 55 years.
If you were tuning in for Tammy Faye Baker's sad, sad eyelashes,
get ready
because we're going to
fucking do this thing
don't worry
eventually my jowls
will have approximately
the same dimensions
you just have to wait a bit
100%
oh
did you guys see his son
his son looks like the guy
from In Bruges
that isn't Colin Farrell
wait a minute
I
I just now
it never even occurred to me
to wonder about his family.
His son's taking over for him.
So his son is going to be
taking over for him.
Of course.
But yeah,
he's going to be taking over for,
he's going to be taking over for.
Oh, well, yeah,
he wanted to wait,
you know,
until he really hit his pants.
Yeah.
Because how old the fuck
and old is that guy?
His son's got to be in his 60s.
I'm sure.
Yeah.
At least.
His son has that glorious look of all con men's sons
right jerry jerry falwell jr and kenny copeland jr and this fucking asshole we're like they're
they didn't they were raised in the con and no one's ever taken them aside and been like we're
just fucking making shit up so they're just like i would like to drink a homosexuality please
like they're just they've been squeezing since they were two.
I thought you were going to say he looks like somebody's going to fuck his wife.
I thought that's what you were going to say.
Well, he looks like that to you.
I don't even understand why you would take this over, though.
I mean, wouldn't you just want to be like, all right, dad's getting older.
He's starting to wind down.
I'm going to spend his money.
That's what I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing.
Spending his money.
I don't want to do his job.
I want to spend his money.
I want to inherit him.
Well, I feel like he just got Prince Charles.
You know, he's been like, all right, any minute now,
he's going to retire for like the last 37 years.
He's tapping his watch every five minutes.
Come on, Ma.
It's my turn.
I'm curious to see
how much he starts melting
because it's going to happen, right?
Okay.
He's going to take this job.
He's going to start melting.
It just turns out
that the 700 Club studio lights
are really, really hot.
They're all wax puppets.
What is your guys'
favorite Pat Robertson moment?
I'm going to go first.
My favorite is
Pat Robertson
talking about in 2010,
talking about the earthquake in Haiti
and blaming it on the Haitians
because they were devil worshipers.
And they're packed with the devil.
When they finally revolted,
the only reason that the Haitians
could revolt, not that they had it.
They didn't have it in them, Tom. Right.
They needed to make a pact with the devil
in order to do that. That's the only way black
people be with the devil's help.
Yeah, right. Exactly. That's the only way is with the devil's help.
Yeah. So that's my favorite Pat Robertson
moment. We played it on the show for years because
it's amazing. All right. I'll tell you what. I'll go last
because I have a huge long list. So no matter
what everybody else takes, I'll have one.
Ooh. Ooh.
Okay. All right. I'm going to go next. We talked about this on scathing too. And we
talked about it a moment ago. I just want to rehash this. Pat Robertson claimed that could leg press 2,000 pounds.
2,000.
And just to recap, the world record is about 1,300 pounds.
There's a guy who became an NFL player who did it.
And they had to fix the machine to make that physically possible. And then the guy did 1,300 pounds.
So like the machine.
It's not even a stock machine.
That means that like Pat Robertson
tried this
in his head
in his lie
he tried this
he's like
alright I'm gonna
leg press 2,000 pounds
and he put
you know
a grand piano
on either side
of a leg press
and the metal
just fell apart
and exploded
and burst into flames
and he was like alright well I'm gonna have to confirm this lie And the metal just fell apart and exploded and burst into flames.
And he was like, all right, well, I'm going to have to confirm this lie differently or just straight up lie.
My favorite part about that crazy lie is the video they released, right? Where his legs are extended and they're not showing you the plates.
And there's a guy spread-eagled on top of the fucking machine so you can't see the numbers
and they show you like a second
of the clip like a survivor of fucking
North Korea
you're being treated very well here on the
neck breast machine
okay but I
if they didn't have video Eli
I wouldn't believe you
I am gonna go
with an oldie,
but a goodie.
The time that Pat Robertson warned people that they could get AIDS from the
towels in the cube.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh,
that one is beautiful.
Oh,
that one's so good.
What do you think was happening there?
Like timely warning.
People were injecting towels that they ground up and cooked on a spoon?
What the fuck does that mean?
He's just coming into a hotel towel.
Wait a second.
What if this were a trap?
Yes.
Okay, so there are so many good ones to choose from.
And this is certainly not his worst.
That would have to be when he said that gay people
in San Francisco
wore secret rings
with HIV-dipped needles
on the inside.
HIV needles.
Yeah.
They were all assassins.
You know,
it's so funny,
like,
I remember each one
of these things.
Yeah,
we've been doing this for a while.
I think we covered
each one of these stories.
Yeah, yeah.
But this motherfucker's
been making shit up
for 55 years.
We've only been podcasting for like 10 or 11. Yeah, yeah. But this motherfucker's been making shit up for 55 years. We've only been podcasting
for like 10 or 11.
Yeah, yeah.
We've like covered,
see, so only 20%
of his fucking insanity.
Right.
Yeah, and all of these
come from that era, right?
So, but this is the one
I wanted to go with
because I love it so goddamn much.
You guys remember
when he was talking about
the unofficial gay days
at Disney World
and he said that they would bring about, this is a quote,
terrorist bombs, earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.
A meteor?
Really?
So how have the gay days at Walt Disney World been going?
Well, there's been a lot of meteors, actually.
New Space Mountain, right?
Fucking New Shade of Purple came out.
Nick Cage went crazy, killed his family.
It was a whole thing.
Unbelievable.
What?
My favorite part of that sentence is possibly, which means he was sure of the other things.
Here's my question, though.
If we could, like, get in a room with Pat Robertson, don't worry, this is going somewhere else.
Trust me.
If we could get in a room with Pat Robertson and just for a second get him to drop the bullshit, what do you think he's actually like, right?
What do you think it would be like if we were just like, hey, Pat, look, we're underground in that room that they put all those foam things you can hear your own heartbeat in would he just
god i hate christian people
sorry i just gotta say this fuck
swearing that man has not been able to sleep for 55 years. I think we can get him on the show now.
I think we can get him on scathing, cocktus.
He's got the time.
He's got the time.
The sad thing is,
is he's been doing this for 55 years
and you know,
there's been a large portion of his show
has been male
and it's like Collins
and those types of things
where he's actually communicating
and like kind of doing like a Dear Abby giving advice.
And that guy literally cannot give advice to anybody.
Right?
So his advice is always the worst.
And every time we covered it on the show,
it was always just like cringing.
And just, it was the worst advice.
He was the worst person to send these things to.
And he's got years, decades of this that he's given out.
I forgot about the advice.
God, the advice.
He was always such a cocksucker for the advice.
Really, genuinely an asshole.
Such a fucking horrible person.
I really, the only thing that disappoints me
is I really thought he was going to die.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, he is.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
I'm still confident he will.
I was hoping on the air, though.
I was hoping we could see it.
Well, okay, it's going to get recorded.
Hey, good news.
I'm just checking on Google real quick.
So good news, though.
He is still going to come on the 700 Club once a month.
So he still could die on air.
It's not.
Yeah, he's just like the green square on the roulette wheel instead of the red.
Right.
But how great would it be if he just pulled out like a T-shirt gun and just put it in his mouth?
And he was like, oh, Satan.
I mean, look, if you want to be.
I feel like that would just fill his jowls with t-shirts,
though, wouldn't it?
He would just-
That's true.
He looks like a chipmunk.
He's got chipmunk jaws.
He starts digging
and burying difficult t-shirts.
Here's the thing.
He'd look the same.
It would be like,
did you just somehow
make those t-shirts disappear?
Because nothing changed
on your face.
They're gone.
It's going to be difficult
because he was so easy to make fun of,
but I'm sure his son is just as stupid.
So it'll be, you know,
the 700 Club's not going away
from either of our shows.
The Robertson jeans thankfully live.
Let's hope he follows the...
That tree's very straight, Tom.
Yeah, let's...
Tree's very straight.
Let's hope he follows the example of Falwell
and just gives us even more than his dad did.
Oh, yeah.
If he has an Instagram with his wife fucking his pool boy or something.
Gets drunk and takes a header down the stairs
so we can all hear that 911 call.
Guys, we want to thank you so much for joining us for our 600th show.
We appreciate every time you guys have come on.
Um,
and,
and we want to thank you guys so much for joining us.
Thanks for having us.
And congratulations guys.
Pleasure.
It's an honor.
Really big deal.
You guys are really pioneers in this space and it's really exciting to see that you guys are still going strong after all this time.
We're waiting to peak.
Yeah.
55 years.
55 years.
I've been growing my jaw.
You know what I'm doing.
Cecil, turn the studio lights up.
So I want to thank our patrons.
Of course, we want to thank all our patrons.
We want to thank our newest patrons.
But I don't have a list,
and Tom and Cecil didn't record an ending.
So thanks, everybody, for listening.
If you want to send in some 600-episode thanks or songs that I can use as bumpers,
like all the people in this episode because they're dope, please do that.
Thank you.
You can send it through the website or ian at dissonance pod.com and we'll leave you with always with uh as always with the oh god the skeptics grade credulity is not a virtue
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