Cognitive Dissonance - Episode 788: Cartel Lost and Found

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

This episode of Cognitive Dissonance is brought to you by our patrons. You fucking rock. Be advised that this show is not for children, the faint of heart, or the easily offended. The explicit tag is there for a reason. Recording live from Glorial Studios in Chicago and beyond, this is Cognitive Dissonance. Every episode we blast anyone who gets in our way, we bring critical thinking, skepticism, and irreverence to any topic that makes the news, makes it big, or makes us mad. It's skeptical, it's political. And there is no welcome. Today is Thursday, August the 22nd. Cecil, I have had just a time of watching some Democratic

National Convention this week taking place here in our own beautiful city of Chicago. Beautiful city of Chicago. They got a chance to go down there. Did you see the? You see how the RNC guys are fucking like going undercover. Did you see this? Oh my fucking sweet kung fu Jesus know what. Pelo guy shaved his mustache off. HAHAHAHA I'm not even kidding. Wait, Mike Lindell shaved off his mustache? And then what went to the DNC?

Yeah, like like How does he get a ticket? So I think I don't know exactly how they got a ticket, but I think what they think is going on is something that's not being televised. But it's just a pep rally. It's like literally just a pep rally. It's a four day long pep rally. It's not anything.

It's stupid. So so they're that Mike Lindell was there. He got he came up and he started yelling at this like 12 year old kid who's from Georgia, who's, you know, a young kid who's part of he's like a young Democrat down there and he starts yelling at him and the kids said because he said there's this many thousands of votes that that Georgia miscounted and he said is your source trust me bro owned by a fucking seventh grader. And then the kid just turned around and walked away. That's fucking great.

He's a fucking crazy person. And Charlie Kirk, of course, is there with his tiny little face. Oh my God. His growing, growing head. Do you know what I did do though, is I looked into briefly and I'm going to pursue it I think next is how to be a delegate. Yeah, that'd be cool. I was wondering, I don't know shit about fuck when it comes to this. It just occurred to me.

I was like, wait a minute. How? I was looking in the crowd and I'm like, these just look like normal people. The most regular people. Like there's people in jeans and a t-shirt. There's people in suits. I was like, I could think this just seems like regular Joe's. All ages.

Yeah. I was like, I got to get in on this. How do you do it? It looks like there's just an application process. You fill out online. Do you have to like give them a lot of money, Tom? I don't think so. Is it like being a trustee at a college?

No, it's not the RNC. I wanna be a delegate though. I was like, I wanna show up and be like, yeah, fuck yeah. I wanna get COVID in this big room full of people. I wanna Herman Cain myself. I wanna Herman Cain myself. I want to Herman Cain myself. I want to lie back forever and ever. That's the sweet, sweet sleep of death.

I want to tweet from my death hospital bed that I'm like, I'm fine. Feeling fine. Two thumbs up. I feel happy. I feel happy. All right, Cecil, we got a goofy funny show here for you guys. This one I love.

This is from KTLA. Most wanted fugitives sought in 2004 murder found working as police officer. Kind of tracks. Kind of tracks. I mean, if you want to kill somebody. Kind of works. Like, hey. The best job.

Okay. You have on, you know, your resume portion under ambitions and it says kill someone. Do what you know. Yeah. Where do you go? Wait, you can't go. Accountant, very low chance of that happening. Police officer, extremely high chance.

Way higher chance of that happening. Once you're over the legal age to join the military, this is really your best shot. If you want to go just full murder, this is your best option. So hey, look, dress for the job you want. That's it. You're dressed to kill. Yeah, this guy killed somebody in the United States and then fled, but then fled to Mexico and then they found him down there. And he was a police officer in Mexico.

He was a police officer down there. Just copping it up. Copping it up. I figure like there's also probably better paying killing jobs down there. Yeah, right. Well, but like a lot of times there's a lot of overlap between the cartel and the cops. Yeah. No, that's true too.

Maybe you could do both, right? You're collecting a salary and collecting a salary. You know what I mean? There's a lot of double killing. Like you're moonlighting. You're like a hitman moonlighting as a killer. You're just like, like you get confused. You're like, I don't even know who to bill for that one. What was he was? I think you double bill as often as you can. Double dipping. Yeah. I mean, you charge your company and you charge the freelance fee. That's right. It's like that guy who outsourced his whole job to India. And then he got another job.

So good. And then he got, I remember this so clearly because he got in trouble and I was like, I would hire that guy all day. Hire him all day. I'd be like, that guy, you got promoted. You could have my job. Exactly. I would promote him to a different level

to say, you were able to do that. Now outsource all those other jobs and outsource your own. Right, yeah. Keep finding some fucking efficiencies up in this pig. You're like a von Neumann probe. Keep making copies of yourself. This is amazing.

Oh, I got to tell you a funny story. So I had a call. Is that about a probe, is it? No, no, no. We had a call with work the other day. And I don't want to go into too many details because it's work, but we were talking about artificial intelligence, right?

So like all companies are all looking at artificial intelligence. Are you having to explain this to people? No, this was a call I was a listener for. Oh, okay. So this was like a big call. There's a couple of hundred people on it. Okay.

And like, because of the size of the group it was very like oh nine six, right? And so I'm just like, all right, I know So but like the the speaker and he's very very good and he's talking about what it is He's explaining again to like a very large broad audience and then he's you know, he's like well, you know Here's the thing with with AI if you're gonna use AI for this or that, he's like, you gotta remember that it hallucinates, so the results aren't trustworthy. And then if you ask the same question more than once,

it's also based on predictive modeling. So you don't necessarily get the same answer if you ask the same question over and over again. And so he goes through this whole explanation. None of that's new, right? So I'm not saying anything corporate secrets, right? But then like at the end, it's like, well, like maybe we should be creative about how we think about using AI in our workspace, right?

And I'm like, yeah, let me think about how to use something that is neither reliable and consistent nor guaranteed to be accurate. And let me make sure that my paycheck that I feed my family with is related to a tool that I'm being told is neither truthful, may just fabricate entirely. Like it's like, oh, it's really good for doing like data analytics.

But also it will sometimes make up an answer. And I'm like, but then I gotta redo the whole analysis, which I could have done from the start. Why, what the fuck? The other day I was reading a, I just saw this post online. And again, I have no idea. Like I have to trust that this person

was entering this into chat GPT. He could have fabricated the whole exchange. I have to trust that this person was entering this into ChatGPT. He could have fabricated the whole exchange. I have no idea. Right? So I'm trusting that the screenshots posted online on this page and like a ChatGPT Reddit were accurate. Yeah. So understand that this story is based...

Yeah. Flip a coin about whether that's true. ...inches on that. Right. But according to this person, ChatGPT has problems with certain words. So for instance, he said, how many R's are there in strawberry? And it keeps saying there's two.

And he says, no, there's three. And then it would say, no, you're incorrect. There's two R's in strawberry. And he said, well, spell it out to me. And then it would spell it out and there'd be three. And he'd say, okay, well, you just spelled it and there's three. And like, I'm sorry, you're mistaken, there's two.

And he keeps going back and forth and he keeps arguing that there's two. And he's like, all right, I want you to put a number to each letter. And he said, what's in these slots? And then it was like, well, there's only two R's. It got eventually to agree, but it was nine pages. Jesus Christ.

Going back and forth, arguing with him on this. And the thing is, is like, even again, like I say, it could be all fabricated, I don't know. But even if it's not, that is 100% stuff I've already dealt with when I've talked about history with it, when I've tried to talk about history. Cause like, I thought to myself, I thought, you know, if I could get this thing to write a very simple basis

for a paragraph, I may be able to use that paragraph in a citation needed. Sure. If I want to distill something down, and I've tried to do that in the past, and it's been so bad and it's gotten history wrong, and I'm like, you got that wrong. Right. Or it's gotten astronomy wrong,

and I'm like, you got that wrong, like you're not telling me the right thing. So I don't trust it to help me. Right, yeah. Well, like I remember, cause I had an idea that I was going to have it used for, I was going to use it for citation needed as well. And there was a, there was an Arctic, be very shocked, right? There was an Arctic Explorer that I was researching. And the Wikipedia was annoying because it wasn't in chronological order. And I always like

to write my people stories in chronological order, starting at birth, ending at death. I just like to do it that way. I hated the way the Wiki was organized. So I was like, oh, I'll have it reorganize the Wiki for me chronologically. Just reorder it chronologically for me. Maybe it can do that if I am precise enough in my ask. But I had a typo and I remember exactly what it was.

So I'll make up the typo. So I said like, hey, I need you to go to the Wikipedia page for Don Phillips and I need you to do these things for me and then spit out what you arrive at. And it spits out this whole thing. And I was like reading through it, I was like, I've read this and none of this, not one thing. It's not real.

And it's this whole thing, right? It's a whole like essay of stuff, like a. It's not real. And it's this whole thing, right? It's a whole like essay of stuff, like a whole thing start to finish. And I was like, wait, and it looks, I just like, instead of typing Dom, I wrote Dom. And it was just like, it just made up a whole story about an Arctic explorer that never existed who did all this stuff. And I'm like, this dude did amazing shit. And I was like, none of it was real because I had a one letter typo. One letter typo.

And people are like, definitely the wave of the future. It's like the wave of the future is just full of scary things. Because like, it can't do anything you wanted to do well enough for you to trust it. That's my opinion right now. But it can do lots of things that you don't need to trust really well.

Right? So if I'm making misinformation, I don't need to trust it. No, sure, yeah. I actually, doesn't matter how true it is. It just has to have this simulacrum of truth. So it's really good at creating the worst things that we. Oh, I know, yeah.

But it does a shit job of creating anything good. It's so bad. We created a cure for cancer that's actually nitroglycerin. All right. This story comes from ClickOrlando.com. Hurricane Debbie blows one million dollars worth of cocaine onto a Florida beach. I want to put this on the on the screen just so people can see that. Do they put festive stickers on there? I think that they actually brand their product.

No shit. Cartels, like I'm to understand that cartels brand their product. How cool is that? So they can identify them. I wanna be a graphic designer for a cartel. Do you think they have a graphic design department? Like over like-

They send it back. The head guy gets it and he's like, I kinda want a different shade of red. You know what? Cut off his head. Let's get a new graphic designer. They'll put it on a pike to keep him next guy honest. Let me tell you the fucking the revision process and that you've got to be sweating bullets. So can you scroll up for a second? Because the most important thing about this article is in the head. Maybe, maybe we choose to write our headlight a little

different than Debbie blows. Do you think this is hurricane David that they would have written a hurricane David blows? This feels like Debbie does cocaine, right? Debbie does hurricane. Okay. That is so funny. I totally missed this when I saw it on there. I was like, I was like, Oh, okay.

Yeah. Hurricane Debbie. I was like, Oh, it's a blowy joke. Oh God. That's so funny. Worth it. Oh, God, that's so funny. Worth a cut. Well, what's crazy is somehow your business model allows you to just lose a million dollars with the product and not worry about it.

Yeah, man. It's like, if you run Target, you have built into your projections a certain amount of shrink, like a certain amount of just retail loss. So if you're like a cartel, you have a certain amount of just like, I don't know, maybe a board loss over board loss. Yeah. Where it just gets yoinked by the, you know, all it's seized in shipments or whatever. So you're already, you're already at the beginning of

the year, your budget, you are already writing off X amount of pricing it in. And yeah, there you go. I guess it makes sense. I guess it makes sense. It just never occurred to me that they would have like such losses. But it makes sense when you think about it out loud. These are sophisticated business people. They really like these are sophisticated businesses running sophisticated books. Here's the thing I always think of when I read these stories. I'm a piece of shit. I am a giant piece of shit because the first thing I think is like,

I don't know if I would tell anybody. What are you going to do with it though? That's the second thing I think, because I'm always like, Tom, you don't know how to move a million dollars of cocaine. Also, you have a million dollars of branded cocaine. Dude, I like, because here's, here's how the thought process for me would actually go.

It'd be like jackpot. Fuck, I have no idea how to thought process for me would actually go. It'd be like, jackpot. Fuck, I have no idea how to make this a jackpot. Yeah. But like, there's a part of me that like, if I just found like a million dollars in cash like bailed up, I'd be like, the right thing to do is to call somebody. This is not my million dollars bailed into wire and washed up on the beach. I would never, I would never, I would 100% call somebody. I know you would.

I would 100% call. You are the best person I know. Well, I also recognize that I can't just put a million dollars in my bank because if I do then I will get a fucking audit and be like where did you get the money? Yes. And then like all the other stuff that goes with it. Cecil, there's nothing good about my plan. Like start to finish, It's a bad plan.

You're literally just going to ruin your own life for it. Yes. I know. But the thing is like, I know. I mean, I guess there is an amount of money that that would be worth it, but a million dollars wouldn't be worth it. Like a million dollars. A million dollars to ruin your life wouldn't be worth it.

Yeah. No, I fully, like I said, I fully recognize that like the, my thought process would be, fucking jackpot, and then like, no it's not. Then you gotta think about it. It's also like why, like I would actually make the phone call, is what I'm saying.

Of course you would. But like there's the part of me that would be like, yeah baby. There's a big part of you that's like, I could take a thousand dollars. Yeah. Oh, if it's a barrel of cash or whatever. Yeah. Like you, you make sure that even the stuff

that's blown around, you gather it up, you put it inside, you like reach into your wallet and put a 20 in case you didn't catch some of it. Yeah. Me, I'm like, this barrel was always a little like half full. I'm just saying, I don't think it's, I don't know. Somebody found it before me. I found a pessimist barrel.

It's half full. That's what I found. I found a pessimist barrel. You found a wallet. Would you pull any money out of it? I would never do half full. That's what I found. I found a pessimist barrel. You found a wallet Pull any money on no never I would never do that. No, no, no, like I have found wallets I found money clips. I found a money clip once with fat cash in it Yeah, and I turn it in like immediately to the cashier at the place that I found it No, I would never take money that like a very obvious like a person had but like I will say like a fuck if it's like

If this is a cartel money. Fucking Walter White. But then there's, but the other part of me is like, no I wouldn't because I don't know if there's some guy with binoculars on a sand dune one over who's got my fucking license number and now I got my head cut off. Some guy's like, hey we gotta put another barrel out there. We gotta fill up another barrel. They're calling this, this guy down in, they're in this police officer town in Mexico to come kill you.

That's like, so like, pardon me is like, I'd steal that. The other part of me is like, I'm afraid of that. I would run away from it. A hundred percent. Like pardon me. It's like, I don't even know if I'd call anybody. I would just be like, someone else's problem and run away. I got to read part of this. So great. This story is from Fox news. Woman tries to run boyfriend over with car and route to couples therapy session. All right, see, so there's a part of this that is just absolutely read worthy. Uh, scroll down a little bit. Here we go. And it's going to be right above and right below the picture. According to crime online while driving on the way to the therapist,

gas boyfriend announced he was breaking up their relationship and requested to be taken home. Gas then allegedly suddenly stopped her car and demanded her boyfriend exit the vehicle according to the affidavit attained by crime online the victim her boyfriend passed in front of her car to get to a nearby sidewalk probably not the right way to go but okay this next line is the coldest line ever When her boyfriend passed in the front of the vehicle, gas allegedly made eye contact before hitting the gas pedal and attempt to run him over. Dude, that is not taking a breakup well. I will say, I will say of all the ways to take a breakup, you know, we need to break, but I will break you first. This was, this is just such an amazing bit of, I mean, is it irony?

Is this irony? I never know. I don't know that this is irony. Well, it might, it might be irony because they're expecting to go to couples. They're expecting to go to couples therapy and they get it. Instead they get, yeah. She runs them over. Yeah. That's ironic. I guess that's ironic.

Yeah. It's just like, clearly this is not what the therapist would have recommended. Also, like, if you're at the point where you're willing to run over somebody, maybe therapy isn't what you need. No, yeah. Maybe you need something else.

I think, like, if you're the kind of person who's like, you know what, if you hurt my heart, I'll hit you with a car. Jesus Christ. It's not couples therapy you need. It's individual and personal therapy. Very personal therapy. Almost certainly a cocktail of drugs go along with that.

Maybe reflect on whether a relationship is right for you. You know? Wow. Cold, bro. It's so cold. She made eye contact. I haven't ever had like really, really, really bad breakups in my life. Like most of my breakups have been okay.

Yeah. But when I was, uh, gosh, I was probably like 19 or 20. I met this girl, uh, on a double date. We went on a double date and, uh, this guy I know hung out with this girl and she brought her friend and I knew her kinda like the guy he was dating, the girl he was dating I knew. And she brought a friend and so while they sort of went, walked up ahead of us to sort of, you know, have a private moment. We just talked and hung out. And I, I didn't make a pass at her.

I didn't do anything. I was just like, we were like chaperones essentially. Sure. Right. And so I was like, okay. And then after that we just didn't go out. Like it was, that was the, that was literally the end of our, our whole relationship was we hung out one single time as quasi chaperones for another couple, because they didn't want

to go out by themselves because they didn't know each other very well. And they started dating. And then we were just, that was it. And then like two weeks later, because she had a boyfriend at the time even. Like she even had a boyfriend at the time. Right. She wasn't even an option. And then two weeks later she calls me up and she's like, hey, do you want to go out?

And I said, no, I got a girlfriend now. Cause that two weeks I had found a girl to date. Right. And she fucking flipped her shit so hard on the phone. I wasn't dating her at the time. She was so crazed yelling at me. Like, how could you leave me out? I was like, we didn't do anything.

I'm like, we never even, we just talked. And she was like, how dare you? I broke up with my boyfriend for you. And I was like, why didn't do anything. I'm like, we never even, we just talked. And she was like, how dare you? I broke up with my boyfriend for you. And I was like, why? Go get him back. What are you doing? I was like, we were never done.

We didn't even touch. I was like, you should go get him back. Back for him to come. And she was screaming at me on the phone. And I was like, clearly I would never take you. Like, you are an insane person. I would give all the money that a cartel has to be on the phone to just have a line, quietly have a line.

It was so insane because after a while, I was laughing. I was cackling because I was like, you can't be serious. I was like, you're getting put up. I thought it was a joke. I thought she was being put up. I thought it was a joke. I thought she was being put up by her friend to make a joke call. And I was like laughing.

I was like, this is the best thing ever. Not the right thing to say. Did her friend get pissed off? Did it like interfere with her? After this, I told her friend and they stopped taking us. Yeah, it was weird. That's super weird, dude. I'll tell you though, if she was in a car, she'd 100% run me over.

She wouldn't sound like it. She was so mad. Jesus Christ. She took your breakup for a relationship that never had from a date that didn't happen pretty fucking hard. If you guys had dated for a week, she took it hard, dude. If you guys had dated for a week. She took it hard, bro. She took it hard, bro.

That girl, if you dated for a week, you better buy her a ring. That's it. That's it. I better propose at the end of the first date. Are you kidding me? Holy shit. Oh, it was pretty funny.

You ever been hit by a car? No, you. I was hit by a car. Were you? Yeah, so when we went to junior college, everybody we knew was broke, I was broke. So I would go sometimes to donate plasma, donate in Joliet.

So there's a place you could go in Joliet to go to donate plasma. So you get like 30 bucks? Yeah, so then you could go like multiple times a week. So you could go. Holy shit. Yeah, you could go twice a week. Did it fuck you up at all? No, no, cause they spit out your plasma

and put the rest back. Okay. So like, I never felt any different. Plus like, you're like 18, 19, your body's made of like whatever you want it to be made of. It's like fucking unobtainium at that age. You're never hurting, everything's great, and it's the best. So like, I would go donate my plasma from time to time

whenever I needed a little extra cash. My buddy went with me. So I would go, and a lot of times, like I had really low blood pressure. So if my blood pressure was too low, they wouldn't let me donate plasma. But it was sketchy as fuck. So like I'd go in and they'd take my blood pressure

and be like, oh, I'm sorry, your blood pressure is too low. We can't let you donate. I'd be like, oh, hang on a minute. And then I would go run around the block and I would come back in sweaty and like, I'm gonna take it now. And they would take it. My blood pressure would be up

because I just run around the block. They'd be like, welcome back in. it now. And they would take it. My blood pressure would be up because I would just run around the block. They'd be like, welcome back in. And they'd let me donate plasma. Were you here? Who cares? Come on in. Doesn't even matter. Like same lady.

I'd be like, oh, hang on. I did this more than once. So I'm running around the block in Joliet. Fucking yikes. I'm running around the block and there's a green light for, not a green light, like a walk sign for me. And so I'm just jogging through this walk sign and there's a green light for, not a green light, like a walk sign for me. And so I'm just jogging through this walk sign and there's a red light for the guy

because that's how you get the green light for me, right? That's how this works. And this guy, I'm right in front of him, he just drives into me as I'm, he had a red light and he just drove into me. And he wasn't going fast because he was literally right in front of me, but he just drove into me.

I fell onto the hood of his car and I rolled off the hood of his car and he haunt his horn and flipped me off and blew the red light. You know what's up. And I just was like, what fucking happened here? I think that was the girl I went on a date with. Yeah.

I probably like waved hello to her and let her on. Amazing, amazing, amazing. And the best part is I was 18 or 19, I probably like waved hello to her and let her on. Amazing, amazing, amazing. And the best part is, I was 18 or 19, I thought it was funny, finished my run around the block, was totally fine, and donated my plaid. You just kept going. Because your body doesn't care. I'm 46 right now.

If I got hit by a fucking matchbox car, I would break my hip. A couple weeks ago, or maybe it was like last year, I was in my socks and I slid down the stairs. Oh, shitty. And I hit my butt and I was like, ow, that hurt. And for like two days I could have hardly sit down. And I'm like, come on, man. Like I just, all I did was just let gently land on my ass. I fell down my stairs, caught myself with the railing of my shoulder, and I felt my shoulder get wrenched from catching myself. Like six months it took for my shoulder to feel right.

Six months! I'm like, oh my shoulder hurts. I need to get some 18-year-old plasma in me. For real, dude. Alright, this story is from AAP. Woman who faced eviction over three emotional support parents. I'll read that again, I promise. What now? What now?

Holly says you're fine. Wouldn't it be amazing? So she, she wins a federal case for $165,000. It's a federal case for her emotional support parents. But I want to say like, wouldn't it be amazing if two of the jurors were parents? It would be amazing. It would just two people, like two parrots in a trench coat, one on the other shoulders. So the neighbor starts complaining in 2015 and there's a quote here.

Oh God, I wake up still with nightmares of them screaming in my head. It's like silence to the parrots. I don't like birds. I, you know, I know you don't like birds. That's why I put it in here. Cause I know you don't like birds. Three, three goddamn parrots screaming and squawking and repeating. And how can that be comforting?

How can that be? I am curious what it's like to, I wonder how often a parrot vocalizes. Cause I don't know, right? I never owned a bird. I've never owned one. If it vocalized all the time, it would drive me nuts. Like it would drive me crazy. I would be like, shut your fucking mouth, man.

I'm going to get a fucking muzzle for you. Then it would just learn, shut your fucking mouth. And then they're just screaming at me all the time. But I genuinely I wonder how often they vocalize because you know certain you know I don't know if you ever had a dog that bark like crazy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's the worst. It's the worst Yeah, terrible. You got to train that dog not to do it I'm sure you can train a parrot just like you can train any other animal But like part of the fun of getting a parrot is

They have a toss. Yeah, right. That's like it's like a it's like their behavior that like you're sort of like trying to get them to do I think maybe what they did was they just watched a bunch of horror movies where people were screaming And so the parrot they just put like like one of these like final Halloween movies on with Screaming or pleading for their life and then she just takes a sick swing. It's just like, you just, can you imagine the prank war shit you could do with a parrot though?

If you just were like, yeah, I don't give a, I'm fucking deaf, I don't give a shit. And you just like put on some horrible, annoying like Lee Greenwood or something just teaches a sink proud to be American. Teaches a sink proud to be American. And just take your hearing aids out and be like, fuck you, the neighbors. Can you imagine how I would be so mad if I lived next to somebody and their parents didn't rent it.

Just proud to be an American. Yeah, I'm curious. I don't, I've never owned a bird and I know people, there's a lot of people who really enjoy it. They love it. So, but I'm just curious how often they would actually, you know, vocalize because I curious how often they would actually, you know, vocalize because I think like that would make it, that would make her break the worth of that bird to me because I think there's a, there's a level at which you want to be like, okay, now you're quiet. It's from CNN. Alain, I don't know this person, Alain Delon's family. French actor. So, Alain Delon.

Did a pretty good job of that. Thank you. Family refused to put down pet dog. The actor wanted to be buried. What a fucking ghoul. What a horrible, horrible fucking ghoul you are. This guy has had, he said he had 50 dogs in his life. So he said, this one is very special to me. And when I die, I want to do the vet to come over. You put this dog in my dead arms and then I want you to kill my

dog so it can be... What are you, a fucking pharaoh? Go fuck yourself, dude. How do you love something so much you want to kill it so that your corpse isn't lonely? I think the only way... What the shit? I think the only way you think this crazy shit is if you're religious. I think the only way you think I want to take this thing with me into the afterlife is if you think the same shit that the pharaohs thought when they fucking suffocated their servants or whatever. Yeah, that you're like, that'll all come hang out with you. We're all going to go do the second part of this. And so that's the only way you do this is if you're a crazy religious person.

I love that they stopped this. I'm glad they stopped it too. I love that they were like, look, I don't give a shit how rich you are. We're not going to like ceremoniously kill your fucking pet so you can death snuggle it. So you both get rot together. I know. I'm surprised that they don't do this in the States though.

I'm surprised there aren't more people who request this sort of shit here where crazy religious people are common. Yeah, I don't even know. Maybe they do. Maybe nobody stops it. This doesn't hit the papers. Yeah, maybe we never stop it. Didn't I, gosh, I remember a story,

and I thought it was from our friends group, where somebody had a Cocker Spaniel killed when they just like didn't want it anymore. Oh yeah, my ex-mother-in-law. Oh, it was our friend group. Yeah, yeah, my ex-mother-in-law. Oh, it was our friend, Griffin. Yeah, it was my ex-mother-in-law. All the kids moved out. The dog was still very much alive

and she didn't want the dog, so just took it to the vet and had it with her. Jesus fucking Christ, dude. She didn't even tell anybody. People just like, it was a really weird, like it was a really, she didn't like dogs. They only had the dog for the kids. Jesus Christ. And then the kids moved out.

Like one of them was just in college. So he's coming back for like Christmas and summer and stuff. And she just put the dog down. She just, and then everybody was like, where's Bailey? And she's like, I killed it. And then she's like, I don't want to take care of it. You guys aren't here to take care of it. So she just put it down.

I was shocked that like the vet will just do that. That you could just take a perfectly healthy, hearty animal to the vet and be like, one dying, please. Jesus Christ, dude. That's shocking to me too that they would do that. That they wouldn't just be like, you don't want this animal anymore? Yeah, just surrender it. Let's just figure a way for you not to have this animal anymore. Right. Just surrender it.

There's like shelters. This is also years and years and years ago. Oh, this was 20 years ago. So this is 20 years ago. So this is a long time ago. 25, 30, I don't know. This is a long time ago. So we want to make sure that it mentions it.

I'm a million years old. This was seriously a long time ago. I want to mention that it's a long time ago because it might not be a practice that happens anymore. Anymore, right. Because I think like, you know, even especially after, do you remember how all the pet, the pets were gone during the pandemic because everybody wanted a pet? Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what happened after that too. If the, if the shelter filled back up, after the pandemic, people are having to go back to work.

They got a dog while they were off and now they're like, well, I don't want it anymore. And then suddenly you have, they got all of a sudden returned to work. Yeah. You know, returned to office. They got, they got returned to office. They weren't maybe expecting it, you know? Yeah. I'm sure that there's, it's like, yeah, I, here's, here's, this is a terrible example,

but like during the pandemic fitness equipment was like impossible to buy and the price of all the fitness stuff went through the roof. Like if you wanted to buy weights in 2020 or 2021, they were like just for regular cheap cast iron weights, they were two, three dollars a pound. That's insane. All that stuff now on like Facebook marketplace is cheap as free.

Like you can get a Peloton for three or 400 bucks. Like, cause everybody bought this stuff and then they all went back to the gym and they don't want it in their house anymore. And I guarantee it's the same for pets. Yeah, you're probably right. There's a lot of people that were like, it was a great idea at the time. I wonder how they feel about those kids they conceived.

But there was a baby boom from it. Well, people that were like, I wonder if it was a good time. I wonder if there's a guy out there who's like, I want my kids put down. There's all these kids on marketplace. He's less than a dollar a pound. Oh, gosh. That's terrible. That's terrible.

Yeah. People are fickle, dude. I can't believe somebody would do something like that though. Like, like have that in their will or whatever. Yeah. Just kill my pet. I don't want it. It's so funny because because I had a cousin who I didn't talk to. I talked to her one time that I remember in 30 years,

let's say. She passed away. And when she died, she put conditions on her money. She wasn't wealthy, but she had a certain amount of money that she had, it was a certain amount. And she said she wanted to donate all that money to some foundation, but she wanted the foundation to be named after her dad.

So in order to get that money, they had to rename the foundation after her dad. And they're like, no. We just don't want it. We just don't want it. And so it went back to probate, and then they just split it up amongst all the people who were in her downline or whatever, essentially.

And she had a ton of cousins. So I got, you know, they gave me a small inheritance from it. It was a small amount of money that came from it. But I was like, they're like, you're going to get this money from this cousin that died. And like, I'm, you know, it was a tiny, tiny amount of money, but I was like, they had to sign a thing to get it. And then I just donated it. Cause I was like, I don't even know who she is.

I was like, I literally talked to her one time and then I donated it to Modest Needs that year. I was like, you can just keep it. I was like, I don't want it. Give it to somebody else. All right, this from BBC. Hulk Hogan jokes, haha, about body slamming Kamala Harris. So I don't have the video, but he does sort of scream it.

But he says, do you want me to drop the leg on Kamala? And he probably mispronounced her. I'm sure he fucking- I'm sure he did. Purposefully mispronounced her name. Oh yeah. To like Kamala or whatever, some dumb shit. There's so much intentional mispronunciation to dehumanize her.

It's horrible. 71. This is him from a week ago. Let's see. I put the wrong thing up. There it is. Just actually showed a picture of me. That's not Hulk Hogan from a week ago.

This is Hulk Hogan from a week ago at the RNC. He's 71. Gosh, he still has blonde hair. Yeah. Yeah, it turns out Box Die still works at 71. He looks all of 71 trailer park hard. He really, he looks rough. He looks rough.

He looks seriously, seriously like butt like rough. These guys probably don't have a very good retirement plan either in place. The WWE is like super. It'll chew you up and spit you out. Yeah, it's a super exploitive. There's been documentaries and stuff about all this stuff. Yeah, they don't, they treat those people like

just fucking meat machines. They don't give a shit about them as people. They're like, it's like you're on contract. There's no medical benefits, it's terrible. It's very exploitive. So, but like, yeah, it makes me laugh when I was like, oh, there's Hulk Hogan. It's like, oh, who's thought of Hulk Hogan in 20 years?

When was the last time Hulk Hogan wrestled? I will admit, when I was growing up and also when I was in college, I enjoyed wrestling. As a thing to watch, because it was fun and it was free. I was poor, and to have a thing that you could just watch on television that was entertaining, in a time that you didn't have a lot of options to record things or watch things after the fact.

You gotta understand, if you're younger, we didn't have DVRs, we didn't have streaming. You just you just watched what was on television. And so like on Monday nights, I would watch Raw with my my fiance at the time, my wife. Yeah. And I would just watch Raw because it was funny and there'd be funny shit that would happen. Sure. I enjoyed it. And we did that for a couple of years, even after college. And then I just stopped. I just dropped it. I was like, OK, I'm done with that after a certain amount of time.

But it was fun and entertaining for a little while. I don't, I don't. But when was the last time Hulk Hogan wrestled? I have no idea. That's like, that's kind of like, like the RNC is full of the most washed up, has been ass motherfuckers. They're bringing out celebrities

that haven't been an actual celebrity since I was a kid. I haven't been a kid. In a long time. In so long, like I don't even know actual celebrity since I was a kid. I haven't been a kid in so long. I don't even know what that smells like anymore. What about his product? He's trying to sell beer? Beer. Hulk Hogan beer?

Who would want to drink that? What? I look at this guy and I'm like, I don't want to turn out like that. Why also? Also like there's nothing refreshing about no. When I look at Hulk Hogan, I'm like, oh, I don't I don't want to drink anything coming off of that.

No, no, you know, that beer is the worst tasting beer. I guarantee it's just all it is is just a Bud Light clone. It's just like a really, really, really, really light. I don't know, but I bet you it's we should try it.

We should try it gross, but I'd try it. I don't have to pay for it, though. That's the problem. I don't want to but I bet you it's we should try it. We should try it gross, but I'd try it I don't have to pay for it though. That's the problem. I don't want to give that fucker any money I just don't want to pay for it. It's just such a weird washed up D-list ancient celebrity to bring out of the woodwork. You like yeah, it's like I Don't know. It's like buying fucking Dennis Quaid beer. Yeah, man But like if I'm trying to appeal to a young voter and I'm like, oh, yeah, here's Hulk Hogan. People are going to be like, who's what now?

Every person that is pushing the RNC, there's very few young, hot people that do it. It's all like Kevin Sorbo and James Woods and the fucking guy who's like fucking Angelina Jolie's dad, I forget the guy's name, and like a couple other people. They're like old people. They're all old guys that were from a totally different generation that nobody can relate to anymore.

Doesn't that work so well with their fucking ancient candidate? Works perfect. It's just like it tracks so perfectly. It's perfect. This story's from people.com. 32 year old man survives after being attacked by bear, then shot by the hunter who tried to stop the attack.

You gotta eat a fly to catch a spider. This is a guy who didn't have to choose between man or bear. He got attacked by them both. He'd just stand in there flipping a coin and it lands right on its side. And he's just like, fuck! Yeah, I wouldn't even be mad. I'd be like, all right, dig in. Yeah.

Why don't you guys rock, paper, scissors? Just decide amongst yourselves. This fucking, so this big ass fucking bear attacks a couple of dudes while they're out in the fucking Alaska or whatever, because it's Alaska. And the hunters, I totally get how this would happen. Like they're pumping bullets at the fray I guess and like pop one into this guy's leg so now he's got fucking mauled by a bear and shot by his buddy. And if you're the buddy you gotta be like I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I'm super sorry. The second shot definitely killed the bear. It's like if you're getting jumped by a bunch of dudes and like you accidentally swing and hit your your butt

No, it's that guy 100 blame it on the bear no blame like that bear had a gun bear was package That bear is a country bear, can you imagine? Have you ever seen a bear in real life like not in a zoo, but like yeah, yeah I saw a bear when I was in Canada with my dad, but it was like we saw Three little baby bear cubs. It was fucking adorable. So we were driving our little our car like through the thick woods into this line this to track to get to the like The dock where you put in to go fishing So driving from the place we were staying to the dock to go fishing.

And as we're driving, we're like one mile an hour over the ruts and everything. And three little bear cubs walked right in front of us, a foot in front of the car. It was fucking adorable. And I was like, we don't get out of the car though. No. Because there's three little bear cubs,

there's a mama bear somewhere. Somewhere through here. So we were like, that's adorable. And then we saw a bunch of bears like on that same trip in Canada, just like. Far away though. Like maybe on the shore while we were fishing. I see.

And you'd be like, oh, there's a bear. I got a whole bunch of pictures of bears. So it was cool. Oh, that's cool. When I was in Canada, we were driving away from Canada on the way home and a bear ran in front of us. Oh. And that was the only time I ever saw a bear.

I never saw a bear. We thought we saw a bear ran in front of us. And that was the only time I ever saw a bear. I never saw a bear. We thought we saw a bear in the reeds when we were in canoes and we were in like a small creek in the thing. And my brother was like, bear. And like immediately everybody started banging their paddles on the thing and it turned and ran away and we're pretty sure it was a moose. It was really tall grass we couldn't really see. But we saw a large swath of grass move away and we thought it was probably like a moose

without horns. We thought maybe that's what it was. Oh, okay. Because it was also like swampy there and it moves really fast and you're like those things don't even stop in the water. They just like run like 35 miles an hour through the water. On that same trip to Canada, we saw moose like every day. It was crazy the wildlife we day. It was crazy.

The wildlife we saw was absolutely bonkers. And like the, like the, the underbrush in Canada, we were in Ontario, like pretty far north in Ontario where we were at. And the underbrush like in the, in the woods was thicker than anything I had imagined. It was just absolutely dense and this fucking giant moose just walk in and out and nothing like nothing like it was just it was just Yeah, it's like it was fucking evolved for it. It's like a tractor It's like a tractor and we saw him swimming too Like just like to just be like a fucking moose in the lake like swimming and they're so fucking big dude That's fucking big. That's a big ass. It's a big animal. I'd rather be honest

I'd rather I'd take my chances with a bear over with the black bears that I saw Yeah, I feel like I feel like a lot of women would be like, okay, bear first, then moose, then dude. Unfortunately, yeah. They'd be right. Alright, that's going to wrap it up for our goofy show this week.

We're going to be back on Monday with a full show. So come check us out then. We're going to leave you like we always do with the skeptics creed. Credulity is not a virtue. It's fortune cookie cutter mommy issue. Hypno Babylon bullshit couched in scientician double bubble toil and trouble pseudo quasi alternative acupuncturating, Pressurized, Stereogram, Pyramidal, Free Energy, Healing, Water, Downward Spiral, Brain Dead,

Pan, Sales Pitch, Late Night Info, Docutainment, Leo Pisces, Cancer Cures, Detox, Reflex, Foot Massage, Death in Towers, Tarot Cards, Psychic Healing, Crystal Balls, Bigfoot, Yeti, Aliens, Churches, Mosques and Synagogues, Temples, Dragons, Giant Worms, Atlantis, Dolphins, Truthers, Birthers, Witches, Wizards, I'll cut your fucking nuts off. You understand that? Shaman Healers, Evangelists, Conspiracy, Double-Speak stigmata, nonsense. Expose your sides. Thrust your hands. Bloody, evidential, conclusive. Doubt even this. Thanks for tuning in. If you enjoyed the show, consider supporting us on Patreon at patreon.com

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